#I’m just in a really weird headspace abt tumblr

[akuutaguava]

FUCKI I CANT POST ANYMORE SHIT ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU TIMBLR AND THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR HAVE A GOOD REST OF UR DAY

SHIT IM ACTUALLY NOT GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT WRITING WEIRD THOUGHTS

Ahahahahaha im gonna have to rant on insta i hate life good bye

Better idea: type on this post and this post alone lets see how chaotic this gets

I am queercoding rn

IVE BEEN FEELING HUNGRY THE WHOLE DAY TODAY AND THE MOMENT I CAN EAT I DONT WANT TO WHAT KINDA FUCKERY IS THIS

actually sobs ive seen so much i want to reblog

I hate this godamn limit whatthefuck

Now people will go back to this random post and can’t see my posts popping up every two minutes

FUCK YEAH CASAVA CHIPS :D

My thoughts need to be documented even when i cant post on here

This used to be a post abt me talking abt killjng peoples dogs but who knows anymore

SOMEONE HMSSAVE ME AH

I HAVE A LOT OF ACCOUNTS THAT I NEED TO POST ON WHATTHEFUCK

SHIT THESE CASAVE CHIPS ARE SO GOOD

Bussing bussin frfr

I hate the people who made me not be able to type anything here today shie, apollo, ghoul im talking to you guys /j okay dw

Tempted to go bald and really embrace the mental illness

My mandarin caused havoc on like seven people today lmao

It got everywhere holy shit

Actually about to fucjing cry i hate nkt being able to post shit whathefuck its only been a day but WHY

Found out one of shed eerans songs is like the most famous song in the world and i actually want to end my life oml

Im going to play bsd mayoi to distract myself from this sad fate

AXTUALLY SOBBING TUMBLR CAN YOU STOP PLAYING AND JUST LET ME POST SHIT

FUCK YOU TUMBLE

just kidding haha only joking ily bbgorl

Phobic? You think im scared

Parents will be like don’t do drugs and then make you want to do them

Boutta die im talking abt liking hot evil dilfs what has my life gone to without tumblr

Physically pained

Mentally drained

JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO SNEEZE BUT I CANT I ACTUALLY HATE THIS

Gender? Isn’t that a spice?

ACTUALLY FML MY COMPUTER IS 12% IM GOING TO CRY AL MY CLASEES REQUIRE A COMPUTER TODSAY FUYCKM

yet another day with a substitute who hates my guts for no reason (she has a reason) 

im probably going to go home i feel actually so sick rn 

WHATTHEFUCK I JUST SAW A MEME MY TEACHER SHOWED US IN IT WAS SHAKESPEAR GOING “i put the lit in literature” THATS IT IM JUMOING OUT THE WINDOW 

art = are

dost = do

doth = does

'ere = before

hast = have

'tis = it is

'twas = it was

wast = were

whence = from where

wherefore = why

nay = no

twas over yonder

LMAO FUCK TOU SCHOOL I’M LEAVING

OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE :D

Actually so happy i don’t need to do science now fuck yeah

GAH I FEEL LIKE SHIT LMAO

Im pretty sure everyone thinks im skipping fuck you guys im not

THE CICADAS ARE STILL HERE FUCK

I hate the invention of long hair we should all just cut off our hair my ling hair sucks

Stopped to say hi to the ants :D

What a great lifw we would have if we were all just… orbs floating through space

Now is not a good time to be walking on a bridge over a highway

We made it off the bridge without commiting ded :D

I hate walking slow holy shit

Time to go die in my bed because i can’t really post on here anymore and that makes me sad and want to die

IHATEYOUIHATEYOU GO DIE IN A HOLE

AHIT AHIT SHIT AHIT SHIR MMY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH BUNGOU STRAY DOGS HOLU SHIT THEY WILL ACTUALLY HATE IT AND ME AND EVERYTHING AND MAKE ME SELL ALL MY MERCH HOMY SHIT IM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE WHATTHEFUCK SOMEONE HELP

I need another post for that but tumblr is a bitch

ACTUALLY FUCK I SLEPT FOR LIKE FOUR HOURS I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING STUDY FOR TEO TESTS HOLY SHIT AHHHHHH WHATTHEFUCK SOMEENE AHHH NI U HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO POST HERE WHATTEHECUKDS 

I WOKE UP AND I ACTUALLY FEEL SO SHIT LIKE I FEEL LIKE NOTHING MATTERS AND THERES NO POINT IN LIVING SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS HEADSPACE 

BRO THE ONLY THING THATS BEEN KEEPING ME GOING TODAY IS WAITING TILL 12 AM SO I CAN FUCKING POST SHIT I JAT THIS APP

I ALSO CANT EVEN FUCKING MAKE DRAFTS AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO UNALIVE 

dont mind those last posts, anyways three more hours until you guys get mass chaos :D goodbye for now and i’ll see you when i can actually fuckin post

#this is a threat #feel threatened #stellas gone mental

[symptoms-syndrome]

. (Just putting this under a readmore bc it's a half developed thought that I don't want reblogged yet, and bc tumblr's new search system means I can't rant in tags anymore. This is abt introjects and it's kinda mean bc it's my blog and this is a dead dove do not eat situation.)

I feel like. I could make some post about the weird entitlement fictional introject havers in a lot of the DID community online have about the characters they have introjects of, but I'm not in the headspace to handle all the chaos that would inevitably come from making a post like that, and I don't have the patience to make it palatable and coherent right now. It's some weird mix of entitlement, the now-cursed word "parasocial relationships," and IDK something else.

The idea that writers are making bad decisions for not going along with what you as an introject believe to be right, the ridiculous attitude people have towards the fandom of characters people have introjects from, treating introjects like they give your personal headcanons more weight than anyone else's, hijacking people trying to enjoy a media by talking about yourself, making your disorder everyone else's problem by saying people in a fandom always need to account for your (or I guess any) introjects, being weird and rude about people who do or don't like characters you have introjects of, the list could go on.

And the thing is like, a lot of this behavior isn't...harmful to others as much as it is just. Annoying. You could make the argument it's encouraging dissociation etc etc etc but I don't have grounds to stand on w that bc I barely know shit about it. All I know is that it's fucking annoying. And it's not ableist to say it's fucking annoying. I can be annoyed! I want to engage in media I enjoy without people taking things personally. Fictional characters are fictional characters and I can say things about them that would hurt their feelings or be weird/rude to say about a real person because they aren't real.

IDK it just reminds me how I used to run this little discord server for a game I really liked, and ofc people would talk about how they like this character or don't like that one, and at one point there was someone who joined who, every time anyone talked about any character they had an introject of, would act as if we were talking about them directly. And it was annoying! I'm not talking about you!

This isn't to say anything about introjects in and of themselves. I am aware people can't control what parts form, etc etc etc and I'm not here to get into a debate about too many or too recent or whatever whatever introjects, because honestly I do not care. This behavior is the same and has the same impact regardless of whether the person involved is being genuine about having an introject of x character or not. The truth is, an introject is not the same as the character (or person) they're based on (including fanon + the idea of a character,) and you need to be cognizant of context and whether people wanna talk abt ur shit right now. Some of the people go on and on about "fictives are not their source!!! Don't treat my fictives like their source!!!" And then go and treat their own fictives like the source for funsies or whatever and it's honestly exhausting and annoying at best. Not even touching the people who DO ask to be treated like source.

Again not debating legitimacy or anything like that here. Literally just saying this behavior is annoying AF regardless of where it comes from. I'm someone who enjoys participating in some fandoms and sometimes ppl who are fucking weird about introjects make it insufferable. Also not talking abt people who do that sort of thing in their own spaces, do whatever you want on your blog or your group chat or whatever. I'm talking about interacting with the wider fandom community. I participate in fandom for lighthearted fun and sometimes the way people act is like bringing your baby brother to some people playing with dolls and trying to act like they're the same.

#ask to tag #side note i feel like i dont see many younger folks using DDDNE #is it out of fashion? #already??? #its a useful phrase!!!

[transgenderer]

I don’t have any followers. Maybe like, 3 idr, at least one was prob a bot.

I have been reblogging with comments for a bit now, but if I click the post, I don’t see my comments anywhere. I feel like Twitter is kinda bad but like I get replies to my replies on Twitter but I never get any response to anything I’ve ever posted on Tumblr.

Also, I think I get what you mean about fake bi. I feel like I’m nominally hetero but my only relationship was same-sex (I feel like this is kinda weird bc sex is not the current term, but saying homo also felt weird, idk), but I didn’t like, do anything—kinda a fake relationship tbh but I still feel like it was meaningful idk. Also, like I find a lot of sexual stuff like repulsive but idk if that’s really ace or whatever bc everyone I know / read describes it as long nothing and if I had 0 reaction, I wouldn’t have a problem, it’s precisely that it’s not 0 impact that makes it so repulsive. Like it’s violating my desire to be totally self-managed—idk I was going to say self-control but self-control like usually means controlling actions not thoughts but the whole point is I like my thoughts controlled. Kinda a tangent but like the point is I feel like the easiest way to solve being bi or not is to like have sex with both women and men and that’s not really an option for my current self-concept—also if I changed genders it would all reverse but kinda irrelevant, idk, it was a thought i had while typing

At this point I’m kinda diary blogging (idk if I’m using that right tbh) on your blog, very unfair of me, but I feel like it requires a certain level of not caring about other people to inflict yourself as a distinct consciousness on them—like if you really cared you would wait for them to talk to you, you doing it unasked is just putting yourself above them—long ways of saying I feel kinda bad about sending this ask but not enough to, like not do it, yanno

I don’t really have a point, ig I just feel like engaging in a kind of stilted conversation—idk if I’m like lonely, every-time I talk to people for real I hate it and them and people generally but like I’m sending this, so obviously not living my principles strictly

hmm, the comments are like, in the middle thingy

^ the comments.

anyway, being sex repulsed is definitely like, A Thing, altho not a thing i know a lot abt. its just how some people are, but some people want to and can change it i think? idk

anyway dont worry about sending me asks! if i find an ask boring or cant think of a response or w/e i just delete it so like. no skin off my back yknow!

and yeah i get it in a i-hate-everybody headspace sometimes, its usually way less bad when i talk with people in person

[ogeeitsme]

Heya! If you don't mind me asking, I have a question for you (I hope it doesn't sound too rude o personal, or anything similar)! Exactly, how do you "interact" with each other? Like, as far as I understand, you pretty much share the same memory (not in terms of "past", in this case), and sometimes it almost sounds like you all...Talk to each other? Like, full conversation and interaction, pretty much like you would do with someone with their own body, and I'm really confused as to how it works!

EDIT: hello ther r typos here, sm typos b it’s 5 AM n I can’t read KSJSJ

Hello!! This is not rude @ all SKJDKJ I jst gtta get in the right Typing Mood 2 answ this coherently lmao bc I can’t think of analogies rite

Yea we talk!! It’s like,, we talk w the Mind

(when ur in front:)

Sometimes, it’s visual + auditory (not a hallucin8ion, it’s like listening 2 ur thoughts or talking 2 urself internally, u don’t hear it outside) so like let’s say Chara is talking 2 me while I know what facial exprssion they’re doing or hand gestures

Sometimes there’s a design8d area where we talk (fronting rooms!! Bc it’s like a visualiz8ion of being the closest 2 the front??), but when ur (we’re) fronting, u can see MORE in2 the headspace (depends on ur sys n ur ability, som sys can’t do this b it seems common)

Sometimes it’s just visual, som times it’s jst auditory,, like 4 example I’m reading a tumblr post n suddenly some1 reacts b is actlly far away b it’s like they got a direct signal 2 the front, so it’s like they’re “passing by 2 say smth” if u will (very common if the thing is a front trigger (like a positive one ex. Their fave artist or song or meme))

Sometimes we communic8 w only feelings! Sometimes not every1’s gnna have perfect connection 2 the front so u just VIBE

Sometimes it’s also like, u can telepthaically talk 2 each other,, we live in the same brain, so sometimes they dnt have 2 say the full sentence in real time, they sya it- boom u know exactly what they’re saying the moment they say it- ok that’s hard 2 explain b other systems r afraid that’s not valid but it rlly is!! It’s common 2 “”know what they’re saying b4 they said it”” ur in the same brain, what is NOT possible??

Also, even if ur in control of the body, u can. Isualize urself inspace @ the same time! It’s like medita8tion, n I think medit8ing n being in ur own headspace whethe fits active or not?? Is similar 4 singlets (but 4 y’all I can imagine it’s 2 a mild degree ((n by thta I mean u need 2 actively medit8 2 b in ur own headspace)))

Anyway my point is- we can also interact ”physically” while fronting!! Inspace, we can kind of like b,, “outside N inside” @ the same time in a way,, so like if Chara pushes me inspace n I’m fronting, well yea that jst happened DKJDKJ it’s all connected bros, I can hug som1 inspace while I’m fronting

YEA we might be zoning out while walking b I’m gnna hug som1

inspace, like, when we’re not fronting, we can talk 2 each other!! They do say the headspace is where u go when ur not fronting

N it’s tru 4 a lot of sys if not most!! I’d like 2 take this spot 2 valid8 sys’s who r worried abt “idle-ing”

Bc that’s common also

Anyway, we hang out ther! Mostly we kiiind of idle, b we do stuff!! Sometimes overnight, talking abt inspace life is WEIRD b we can summarize what we did if asked @ the end of the day etc,,, I’m not gnna get in2 it very META wise bc it’s wild 2 think abt, but we can talk 2 each other inspace! It’s a diff world, n sometimes it’s nice, bc it’s the only world we have our own bodies— THATS y it’s so imprtnt 2 us that our headspace is here, it’s not healthy 2 stay in it 4 ever, but it’s a RLLY good place 2 take a break in, esp if u dnt identify w the body,, it’s y we kno our height diffrnces 2 :^)

another thing is that on discord we use BOTS!!!!!!!!!! We used tupperbox b4, but then we moved on 2 pluralkit! These r bots that proxy ur messages! It lets u make custom discord profiles as if u made a new account, so ur sys members can type w their own avatar n username!! We uslly like joining servers w those bots!!! Unless we have 2 go in2 it’s Jusg Jamie Mode

We have a priv8 server where we like 2 keep stuff, b in general, typing 2 each other is just rlly good, it’s RLLY GOOD

YEA when ur in a sys, u can talk in ur head or inspace, yea if ur a sys who has blackouts typing 2 each other n leaving notes is good!! B here’s a shout out 2 us LSJSK n other systems. Bc sometimes?? Just typing 2 each other is just waaaaaay easier

Writing takes time, so typing is good! It’s faster bc sometimes EVERY1 wants 2 talk @ the same time, or mayb every1’s talking 2 each other! So bc of bots, the brain can kind of take a break In Processing all those MP3’s of their voices n every1 can cofront n type on a keyboard of phone! It’s rlly cool bc u ALSO get 2 c each other’s Avatars,, I think using discord bots (PK) is the most cathartic 4 a system rlly,,

Also I wld suggest using pluralkit instead of TB, as Pluralkit is more upd8 n has AAA!!! Autoproxy!! (pk;autoproxy front) (or pk;autoproxy latch <member name>)

Also that’s it KSJKDJSK I can’t believe I was able 2, answ this KDJDJK SRRY ITS RLLY LONG I GOT SO FCSED 👀

Yea like, yea :,^) we jst, talk i g SKJSK we do have our own bodies in our brain so I g that’s why helps DJDKJ

#ask #anon #headspace #about us #info #from kris #tfw ur so focused on what ur saying u jst dont stip tlking

[fluffi]

i learned to like noise music in quarantine because the songs are noisy enough to drown out my own thoughts 🤣 really helps with the overthinking tbh

oml weishenism 😭 never a dull day in wayv tbh. still can’t get over how they’re all more gorgeous than me in those disney princess fits 😾💞 unfortunately, i don’t listen to cpop because i’m not that used to the language unlike kpop and jrock that i grew up with. but if i do find songs that i really like i save them but it doesn’t happen quite often.

shotaro really lived the nctzen dream. went from idolizing to dancing along side and being in the group itself 😣 he deserves his spot though, he’s a really really good dancer. tho i wonder which unit he’ll belong to now.

why do ice cream songs (talking abt bp and txt’s, ice cream cake by rv on the other hand is ok with me) have these weird lines mixed in that just ???? me. i have A LOT to catch up on on the groups that i stan. the ones we have similar besides nct and skz are enha and svt :3 enha only in the recent cb and svt since i started getting back into kpop in 2019. (lmao now we have more groups to talk about 🤣)

AWWWWW 🥺 idk how to react to this but no, im not replying out of obligation. i genuinely like talking to you (especially with these lengthy back in forth asks 🤣) at least there’s the mutual understanding with the sudden dips.

i agree with you. jaehyun’s edits really are good 🤔 i only see them on twt tho. also you don’t have to! but was also planning to browse through your works too but i haven’t had enough headspace to commit to reading again 🤕

(+) AND I DIDNT SEE THE TAGS AAAAA but my skz bias is bang chan : D another ultimate and second only to hyuck 🥰 who’s yours?

i used to be a gods menu hater (please don't come for me stays) but I watched it so many times solely because of the visuals and choreography that I ended up liking the song. gods menu was what dived me into kpop dubstep, or whatever that genre is lmao. you have a point about drowning out thoughts though, that may be one of the main reasons why i prefer noise music at certain times of the day.

haha wayv are crackheads and Ive barely delved into them, and yes, them as princesses are...queens (baa dum ss). as for cpop, i probably got into it with ease because I'm chinese and I've been listening to chinese music since i came out of the womb lmao. i didn't fully immerse myself into the fandom till last year though.

yeah i would consider shotaro one of the best 4th gen dancers along with yeonjun, ni-ki, and hyunjin / minho. to think that hes just debuted...ah. imagine shotaro in nct hollywood though pls.

lmao i didnt think of ice cream titled songs and their correlation till you pointed it out, but yeah omg. their lyrics do be iffy though. maybe its because of the sexual (?) connotation with ice cream. on the other hand, i love ice cream cake the food and the song.

yay! an engene! not going to lie, ive temporarily abandoned my ult groups to get into nct. im still streaming my favs' songs and mvs but i havent watched any of their variety shows because thats what i usually do when i get into new groups *sobs* its a bad habit. thats what i did when i got into seventeen too (beginning of this year), but it only lasted for a month at most.

i like the back-and-forth asks haha! i wonder if other people read them too. i love talking to you though, its so nice to meet someone who understands my social antics, and it gives me something to look forward to when i open tumblr!

i always find jaehyun, taeyong, and jaemin edits to be really pretty. maybe its because theyre conventionally (?) attractive and more people bias them, or maybe thats what ive been seeing most on my dash. shotaro edits are usually adorable and johnnys are hot lmao.

no im going to read and appreicate your works >:( after i finish binging this series. i already looked through your masterlist, theyre such spicy genres ohoho i wouldve been intrigued regardless. maybe ill crown you queen of nct angst after i read them haha. also dont worry about looking through my works lmao, im not a big fan of them either and i kind of want to wipe off everything and start again. welp, thats a story for another time.

omg chan! he was my bias and what got me into skz before i jumped ship to vracha and eventually seungmin. jeongin and hyunjin also have my heart but i literally had seungmin tunnel vision for a quarter of the year lmao, i would only read seungmin fics.

#also im watching the 7lin' in the Dream show right now and i have to say #theyre all so cute pls #and hilarious #asks #moots #toffee #neo-shitty

[m-steraquasgf-restinpeace]

Hey just wondering if you're confortable with people reblogging your moon.txt text posts, i know some people are unconfortable with their personal posts being rebloged so I'd rather ask first. Also totally unrelated but can you tell me what you do with your "art diary?" is it like some every day life drawings/comics or just somewhere you doodle abt everything and anything daily?

uhh it depends????? some of them (more vague or general stuff / opinions / fandom stuff) i’m usually ok w ppl reblogging and even want ppl to reblog ngl, some of them i won’t dislike ppl reblogging but won’t really GET why they’re being reblogged because they’re just random shit about my daily like (like complaining about the rain the other day). the really specific personal stuff i won’t be comfy with ppl rb’ing but you can probably use your judgement there to know which posts those are. this is a rly unhelpful answer probably lol but yeah my answer boils down to “usually”

--- and the art diary thing: it’s not really a structured thing at all?? it’s basically an A5 sketchbook which i’m using as a combined thought journal + art practise book??? basically i’m using it to write down and sometimes illustrate thoughts/feelings i have + generally doodle + use for art exercise. the other day i dedicated a page to mechanical drawing exercises. also i’m using it for stress relief like today i was having a Weird Headspace Day(TM) so i just scribbled an “anxiety black hole” onto today’s page and it helped a little somehow

idk mainly i’m using it to get myself into the habit of daily drawing again (i used to be really artistic but school sucked out my artistic motivation) but also to track my artistic progress and also so i have somewhere to vent my feelings and record my thoughts that isn’t on tumblr to a few hundred strangers :’)

#anons #you got mail