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#I will pay someone to animate this!
oiralinsanity · 2 years
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The screen turns on revealing DJ Octavio, who looks absolutely drunk and off his rocker.
DJ Octavio: I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT: CAPTAIN 3 IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER, THEY PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE!
Cuts to Captain 3 in Alterna: I only dropped a single tear on them!
Cuts back to DJ Octavio: THAT'S RIGHT, THEY TOOK THEIR INKLING SLIMY DICK OUT, AND THEY PISSED ON MY WIFE, AND THEY SAID THEIR DICK WAS "THIS BIG" AND I SAID "THAT'S DISGUSTING!"
SO I'M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY SQUIDDER DOT COM: CAPTAIN 3, YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK, IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS CLAM, EXCEPT WAY SMALLER, AND HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE!
Clam explodes, revealing the Octobot King 3L.GS with the Ink Vac attachment, except the Ink Vac is pixelated.
DJ Octavio: LOOK AT THAT, IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG!
Cuts to Cuttlefish, also in Alterna: Actually, it looks more like all the Tetris pieces at once.
Callie: Gramps, WTF!
Cuts back to DJ Octavio: THEY FUCKED MY WIFE, SO GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA FUCK THE EARTH!! THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET: MY SUPER LASER PISS!!!
DJ Octavio fired his cannon. Meanwhile, Hugefry and Grizz are fighting on top of a rocket, but Grizz turns around when he hears a strange sound coming from behind him.
DJ Octavio: EXCEPT I'M NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH, I'M GONNA GO HIGHER!
Grizz realizes that a huge piss laser is heading straight towards him and he has no time to evade.
DJ Octavio: I'M PISSING ON THE BEAR!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Grizz dies like a Dragonball Z arc villain. Meanwhile, down on Earth, a Grizzco Worker that is implied to be Agent 4 is looking up in horror upon Grizz getting piss-streamsniped.
DJ Octavio: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, GRIZZCO. I PISSED ON YOUR BEAR, YOU IDIOTS!!!
A 24-hour countdown timer appears on the screen.
DJ Octavio: YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO!!
The screen cuts to black.
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ponchcronch · 5 months
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If I had a nickel for every time I had an alien with a portable pocket dimension who's likely the last of their kind as a comfort character, i'd have two nickels. /ref
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moxielynx · 16 days
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wu ninjago you will cough in 3 days
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2700k-moogie · 6 months
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Milk ref sheet done yaHOOOOOOOOOOO lookit my big beautiful baby they filled with joy and happiness
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vampiresfromxenon · 4 months
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Was rewatching Shrek 2 and I had to pause because I started screaming
THIS IS THE MOST ASCENDED ASTARION MOVE EVER ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
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majimassqueaktoy · 1 year
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babymagi · 6 months
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Me every time I see an orange cat + black cat combo:
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wileycross · 1 month
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I wonder how much I’d have to pay someone to make turnaround character sheets for the characters from Spies Are Forever so I can make rigs and animate some scenes 😭 I suck at character design!
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sadmages · 2 months
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I need to quit this job I need to quit this job I need to quit this job I need to quit this job I need
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huskingthatdust · 2 months
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Hotel meeting post extermination, where Angel Dust is a guest but also part of the team
Angel Dust: okay you can start the meeting now
Vaggie: no the meeting is over. You're late. You missed roll call and the tutorial on using the new angelic weapons. 6 months and no matter how hard I try I can't get you to understand the importance of being punctual.
Angel Dust: maybe you should just give up and accept me for who I am?
Vaggie: no. I will break you. Right now.
Angel dust: oh.
Vaggie: while you out there being tardy, I was hard at work devising a special punishment. I've crafted an intricate, personal high five in this office with everyone except you.
Angel dust: what but you hate high fives
Vaggie: oh yes and it was an absolute hell but it'll be worse for you. Meeting dismissed.
*various high fives with Charlie, husk, alastor, Lucifer, and nifty*
Angel dust: thank God that's over.
Vaggie: goodbye, Frank of sir pentious
Angel dust: no, no, NO! THE EGG BOI????
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i'm fucking shaking with anger. just for the love of god, stop the fucking genocide!
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toasty-self-shipping · 5 months
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So uh that verblase Video was something
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despazito · 10 months
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people will really see a shorn alpaca and confidently announce its neglected and emaciated
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thatmoththoth · 7 months
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Wither
“Why do you hate us Raven?”
Jonathan Sims
[Bitter] “I suppose you could call it deja-vu…”
I am really proud of this drawing. I first went and drew it in pen on paper and then took a picture and put it into ibis paint, then fiddled with the settings and then colored it. I like this method because then it looks more traditional and I don’t have to do lineart twice.
I need to post more stuff about this au I swear. I should probably also actually start making the events of the story rather than just worldbuilding. But I also like world building ;-;.
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lion-sensei · 2 years
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I have a headache so I did this today instead of working
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microwave-core · 7 months
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Memento Mori
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Diantha x Fem! Reader
In retrospect, perhaps there was a reason why Kalos’ champion was missing when the region seemed to need her the most.
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It should have been simple. It should have been any other day. The morning was simply divine, as Fletchlings perched on the open window sills and tree branches, singing their wonderful, off-beat tune as you woke and got up like usual. Morning tea and casual conversation with your love followed through like always, as she told you about a new café she wanted to try, telling you to meet her there at noon for a short and sweet date, trying to squeeze in as much time together as possible while working around her jam-packed schedule. 
You parted like always, wishing her luck for the on-coming day, at least until noon passed, where you could renew that wish of luck again until she came home in the dark of night, where you’d revel in each other’s presence until the morning came, where everything would happen all over again.
Perhaps it was a bitter sweet cycle, as each meeting meant an eventual parting, where you would be separated for far too long for either of your likings, but every parting meant you’d eventually meet again. (You’d call that kind of prose overly dramatic, but perhaps that's just in your lover’s nature.)
Lunch dates throughout Lumiose were relatively common for you both, so preparing for them was as second-nature to you as preparing in the morning, and so was the struggle to find the dreaded place she’d ask you out to. It seemed like you were always a bit late to these meetings, but she never minded. Not everyone is well equipped to traverse such similar looking streets on the daily, after all.
It seemed like, no matter how hard you tried, you could never get there before her, always taking a wrong turn somewhere along the line. So when you arrived at the given destination with her nowhere in sight, you immediately felt off. You checked the address she had texted to you, ensuring that this was the right place. Maybe you had just gotten lost again, and ended up somewhere else?
Yet it was correct. You were here, so where was she? You approached the barista and asked if they had seen your love (average height, dark gray hair in an elaborate up-do, blue eyes… you held back on asking by name, not wanting to draw attention to you both), but nothing. So you sat down, thinking that maybe she was just running a bit late. Maybe she had reshoots that went longer than expected, or maybe a challenger arrived just as she was leaving.
You check the address one, two, three times more before texting her. If she was running late, you didn’t want to hound her, didn’t want her to feel bad about not being on time, but if something was wrong… Surely, everything was fine, surely, but… what if it wasn’t? She had never been late before, and, knowing Diantha, she surely would have texted you if something held her up.
…You could always just, you know, check her location. She never turned the setting off, and, even if it felt a little dirty and the slightest bit intrusive, it could be excellent reassurance. You could just take a quick peek, see she was at work or the league or on her way over, and your nerves would be sated, and you could gently tease her when she arrived, just as she’d tease you. Yes, it would be worth it, and you most definitely weren’t just stalling in the hopes that she would arrive and take the seat across from you while your eyes were glued to the screen.
But how odd… It seemed that she was in Lumiose, but at the opposite end, in a different cafe, stationary… maybe you did just get the address wrong. Despite checking over and over and over again, maybe you did just misread something, and she was waiting for you patiently. Yes, that had to be the case, and whatever unease had settled in the pit of your stomach was misplaced, despite it remaining as you stood up and left.
Everything would be fine, and the air of wrong hanging over you like an ever-darkening sky threatening to unleash a torrential downpour at any moment, would clear when you saw her face. It didn’t matter that every step felt heavier, it didn’t matter that she was radio silent, and it certainly didn’t matter that your phone threatened to snap under the ironclad grip it was held in as you sat in a cab.
Stepping out, your eyes immediately spot it: a glaring red exterior nestled within the alley. You have to fight the urge to stay seated, as the fear settled betwixt your bones wanted to keep you anchored down. Perhaps you would have given into that desire if it weren’t for the odd look the driver gave you as you remained seated in his backseat for far longer than necessary, which promptly got you up on your feet along with a healthy tip and rushed apology.
Deep breath, everything is going to be fine. Diantha had mentioned this place to you before. She knew the owner, apparently, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for her, but she had never brought you here despite that. Looking back, maybe she was actively pushing you away from this place in fear of… something or other happening, but maybe you’re just being paranoid, overthinking.
The door, regularly propped open during operating hours as is the same for every cafe in the area, was slightly ajar, with light spilling out into the alleyway, the space of which darkened from looming buildings overhead despite the bright sunlight beaming down from above. She’ll be there, everything will be fine.
Walking in, you internally remark about the… odd decorative choices. The red walls and flooring and tables and… everything, really, certainly matched the outside. The cabinets behind the counter, devoid of employees, did seem to contain rather high quality goods, so perhaps the sophisticated aura they oozed was supposed to smooth over the feelings of unease brought on by the environment. The cabinet at the back of the room contained similar, eye-catching items, although they did seem a bit out of place, as if it had been jostled recently. 
The cabinet also looked too far over to the right, casting a shadow just to the left that appeared to be a gaping void, a doorway tunneling further into the unknown… You step forward, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand, peering further into the wall to tell if you were out of your mind or if the darkness was a genuine doorway leading further into the building.
Perhaps now was the time to finally address the alarm bells blaring in your mind that you’ve ignored up until now. This place couldn’t be normally. Odd stylistic choices aside, a cafe that’s completely empty during peak operating hours with an ominously dark open doorway in the back couldn’t be normal. Maybe if you listened to your instincts sooner, you wouldn’t be standing here, in a strange cafe that suddenly seemed darker than when you walked in.
Maybe, if you took care to trust your gut, you wouldn’t have been subjected to a heavy blow to the back of the head, out cold before you could even hit the tile below.
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A sudden, burning feeling washing over your body shakes you awake. When or how you fell asleep was beyond you. Maybe you had fallen asleep in the back of the cab, and all of this business with a dominatingly red building was just a strange dream. A cab driver likely wouldn’t violently throw you out of their back seat, though, and it wouldn’t have left you feeling so weak and drained.
And, if that had been the case, Diantha wouldn’t be leaning over you, yelling at someone in the distance. Her hair disheveled, the pristine nature of her clothing sullied by wrinkles and dust, and her expression panicked, not that you could make her out all that well. The figure at the end of the darkly tiled room, imposingly large and red… or maybe orange, it was hard to tell, seemed to be looking in your direction, but you couldn’t make out his face. 
You felt like you were being held underwater. Your vision was blurred, taking in your surroundings as blobs and splotches of color rather than finely defined shapes. And everything sounded as if it were miles away, like a distant echo in the background, where you can feel how loud the voices must be without being able to make out any of their words.
All you knew for certain was the terrible pain racking through you, and the gentle touch of Diantha, as if trying to soothe the discomfort in your veins. The words flying out of her mouth were panicked and resentful, a combination of emotions that you’ve never heard from her before.
The bleariness long set into your subconscious prevents you from paying attention, prevents you from piecing together what was happening. How long you’ve been here, where here was, and why Diantha was here, cradling you gently, were beyond your realm of understanding at this point.
Her eyes dart down to your ever-crippling form, eyes widening as she realizes that you're somewhat conscious, almost as if she thought you’d never wake. She clutches you closer, curling around you as best she could, breathing unevenly as she mumbles out half a dozen curses and swears, simultaneously cursing out those who brought you harm and pleading to whatever forces may be above to help. The man she was yelling at seems to have all but vanished.
“My love? Can you… can you hear me?”
She pulls away ever so slightly, just enough to look you in the eyes. From this close up, you can make out her expression. Her face is a mix of terror and relief, as the makeup on her eyes, the elegant eyeliner and eyeshadow, appears to have been smudged, although it’s clear the tears welling up in her eyes have yet to fall. You can only nod in response, as the words on your tongue die as they pass your lips.
“Good, that’s good. You should save your strength, love, just focus on me, alright? Everything will be alright.”
Diantha wasn’t convinced by her own words. She had no idea how long you had been here, or how Lysandre and his incredulous goons managed to get their hands on you, but they did, and they knew full well what kind of leverage they had when you fell into their laps. That didn’t matter right now, though. 
It was her duty to protect the region, to prevent Kalos and her people from being harmed. It’s how she was roped into this dreaded place. She should have taken action sooner, made an effort to snip Team Flare in the bud before they got out of hand. Too bad it took you getting mortally injured to realize that…
She takes one of your hands in her own, although the grip isn’t quite comfortable due to the clamines of your skin. You didn’t realize that Diantha’s hands were stained red, having been dyed by the angry gashes lining the back of your neck and head, nor did you realize how it had seeped into her clothes. 
Pressing a kiss to your cold lips, she lets out a shaky sigh, trying her best to stay calm and composed while gently pressing her free hand to the back of your head. She didn’t want to inflict any more harm to your already sensitive wounds, but she had to at least try to stop the bleeding, even if you’ve lost so much blood already.
“Just keep your eyes open for me, alright? Stay with me as best you can.”
“...I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out raspy, quiet, forcing out the words to be as fully formed as possible instead of letting them collapse into gibberish. Simple words were never so difficult to say before.
“No, no, don’t apologize to me right now. None of this is your fault, if anything, it’s mine. I should have told you I couldn’t make it instead of assuming I had time.”
Technically the truth, not that either of you knew it. If she had texted you to say she couldn’t come, even if she didn’t say why, you wouldn’t have stumbled into the boss of Team Flare’s cafe to be bludgeoned over the head and thrown to the feet of the champion to debilitate her, cripple her emotionally to get her off of their backs.
“That doesn’t matter right now, love. All that matters is that we’re together, okay? It’s just you and me right now, it’s safe.” You nod again, leaning further into her touch, although it’s difficult to move. Despite the pain, you feel somewhat serene. Diantha’s warm touch against your skin felt wonderful, and her words felt oh so comforting despite her worried and hushed tone. Perhaps you simply hadn’t realized you were resting upon death’s door, or maybe you had already accepted that it was knocking.
“It’s going to be okay, alright? Everything is going to be o-kay.” Her voice cracks, as tears begin working past her eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, I love you, things are going to be alright. Me and you, we’re going… we’re going to be fine. We’ll get you out of here, and we’ll, we’ll…” She’s cut off by a sob, words turning into baselass rambling, filled with “i love you” and “everything will be fine” over and over and over again till words start to slur together,, or maybe you were just becoming less and less coherent. 
You close your eyes slowly, paying attention to Diantha and Diantha alone, knowing that everything would be alright. You would slip into an abyss of sleep, and you would see her again whenever you would wake. 
“It’s going to be fine, Diantha… everything will be fine.”
You can’t help but smile despite Diantha’s pleas, begging you desperately to keep your eyes open, to stay with her for longer, as your hand goes limp in her hold.
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