#I was like “Its my blorbo!” and he was like “Why does he look depressed?”

[barely-coherent]

"I'll let you hit if you win me _____ from a crane game."

James

"Don't phrase it like that but I can try."

Buddy swipes the card like 5 times

You don't know why he's so determined to get that figure for you

Until he finally gets it and you smile really wide

You see him just smile softly while you hold it but there's this look in his eyes

"I expect you to keep your promise."

Erik

"You'll let me regardless but it seems fun."

You ignore the first part and just watch as he gets it in like 3 or 4 tries

It drops into the bin and he just watches as you grab it, laughing at your excited face

You probably don't let him put it in a bag, you carry it around the whole time

He does remind you every now and then "Remember what you promised me?"

Fucking pain in the ass (literally, if you're into that)

But y'know what, fuck it, we ball

That's king shit

Sam

You don't say that in the first place

You ask him to try

When he actually succeeds though

"Y'know what, just for that, I'm letting you hit."

He immediately turns bright red and covers your mouth

He's like sputtering and just "DONT SAY THAT OUTLOUD!"

Probably blushes for a while after that

But he holds you to that

Matthew

He blushes and just looks at you for a little

"I- uh. Sure, I'm great at crane games!"

Ignores you while he's blushing but gets it in like 1 or 2 tries

It falls and he cheers for you

Literally "Woohoo! Alright!"

And then as you grab it, just "I wasn't lying, that was an incentive"

And he just blushes harder

Just thinks about it occasionally as you guys spend all day at the arcade

Everytime he looks at what he won fir you, he blushes

It's pretty cute

Damien

First of all

Tumblr please I just want a funky black text option that isn't boring

ANYWAY

Does not know what to say

It takes him a second before he's like "You can't say that in public!"

But you read him the controls and he just nods

It takes him a couple tries but he got it

You kiss his cheek and assure him that even if he didn't get it you'd let him hit

He's a blushing mess though like "We're in public!"

#Shoutout to my boyfriend who won me a megumi figure #I was like “Its my blorbo!” and he was like “Why does he look depressed?” #I asked why hse thought I liked him so much #I said “Babe if you win me a megumi figure I'll let you hit” #He was like “You alrwasy did but fuck it we ball” #And then got it first try #He inspired Erik tbh #mine.txt #seduce me damien #seduce me sam #seduce me erik #seduce me james #seduce me #seduce me the otome #seduce me demon war #seduce me headcanons #void looks

[clotpolesonly]

i figured out why Declan is my go-to blorbo, and it's because he's one of those characters where i can find common emotional/experiential ground between him and practically every other significant character and that just makes him fascinating to me and so so versatile

Declan and Gansey: repression, repression, repression!! so much anxiety rolled up into a tiny little ball and stubbornly ignored because feelings are unseemly and have no place here. they will feel things when they're dead, thank you very much. responsible beyond their years, on their own/taking care of themselves long before they should have been. tending to other people or the practicalities of the moment take precedence over themselves, at all times. unfortunately, Ronan is very important to them and they will go out of their way to protect him. also the insomnia and the autism vibes.

Declan and Adam: ruthlessly practical people. hard working and ambitious but for a reason, not for its own sake (Adam to get out of the trailer park, Declan to camouflage his other activities). they would rather die than admit to weakness or vulnerability in front of another human being. Do Not Let The Emotions In Or You Will Never Stop. feeling alienated and fundamentally from their peers, and distrustful of/disillusioned by the idea of help from authority figures -- if you have a problem, solve it yourself. both very very accustomed to lying, constantly and about everything, in order to disguise their home situation and deflect attention from anything that might cause people to ask questions. complicated relationships with their mothers, at least partially rooted in negligence and not stepping in wrt the situation with their fathers. and of course, there's a difference in scale and severity, but feeling unsafe due to the aforementioned fathers.

Declan and Blue: the particular brand of resentment that comes with being the only unspecial member of a special family. being the sensible one and stubbornly proud of how well they manage to get by without any of the ✨ super specialness ✨ that everybody else has. torn between wishing and wondering what it would be like to be special too and being desperately grateful that they're not. wishing that somebody would understand how fucking lonely it is knowing that you and your loved ones will never truly understand each other. being too proud to ever admit as much out loud.

Declan and Noah: this one's more nebulous, but the idea of being not fully real, not fully a person, and definitely the idea of not being seen. of being invisible and looked through. Noah's is because he's a literal ghost, obviously, and it's through no fault of his, but Declan has gone out of his way to cultivate that experience, to make himself as overlookable and forgettable as possible, for safety and security. but it doesn't feel good. the erosion of the sense of self as time goes on, worn down by the life they're living. and a shared understanding of being the victim of extreme violence (Noah's murder and Declan's attack by the Grey Man, at least).

Declan and Henry: the children of criminals. burdened with the knowledge of a world -- two worlds tbh, the criminal and the magical -- that they can't speak about to anyone else. socially isolated and starved for emotional connection. uncomfortably comfortable with the violence that has permeated their lives and always acting under the assumption that it can and will find them again.

Declan and the Gray Man: business is as business does and it's not personal. ✨ depression ✨ and going through the motions because this is just their life and they don't have the emotional or mental capacity right now to think of how their life might be changed. making themselves as dull as possible and then not being able to find their way out of the hole they've dug themselves, at least not until someone comes along to remind them of what it feels like to feel things.

Declan and Jordan: repression of self and lack of identity. not being allowed the space to be their own person, always forced to cram themselves into a tiny box for the sake of others. bursting at the seams with dreams that they're not allowed to chase and feelings they're not allowed to express. feeling truly seen for the first time when they meet each other.

Declan and Hennessy: being preceded by the reputation of a parent they resent. living in Niall and JH's shadows, always compared to them, even when they suspect that they may actually be better than their parents at what they do. the struggle not to let that bitterness swallow them whole before they can grow into their own reputations and make names for themselves.

Declan and Farooq-Lane: young professions who have worked very hard, thank you very much, to be as competent as they are. logical thinkers with a brewing storm of emotion that they try not to let interfere with their logical thinking because they know it makes them impulsive and they don't like that loss of control. loss of control is the enemy. they are the only grown-ups in the room and they would rather die than acknowledge that they are actually scared kids in way over their heads. both with complicated feelings about dreamers and deep-seated issues related to their dreamer brothers. also they have very similar taste in women.

honestly, the only people that Declan doesn't have common ground with is his brothers, and that's what makes his relationships with them so interesting and so fraught. there's something to be explored between Declan and Ronan wrt their suicidal ideation (though they have very different flavors of it) and perhaps with them both feeling insecure compared to each other, but so much of their conflict is about just how different their experiences and perceptions and personalities are.

and Declan being unable to relate to Matthew on a personal, empathetic level is probably part of why he finds it so hard to really think of Matthew as a fully independent PERSON in his own right. though, if Declan's experiences with the bag of Niall's memories had gone a little differently, there could have been a connection over the experience of being denied full personhood by a well-meaning but ultimately overbearing and neglectful guardian. 🤔

anyway, these have been my musings on Declan and why he continues to fascinate me. he has the range, darling.

#Declan Lynch #Gansey #Adam Parrish #Blue Sargent #Noah Czerny #Henry Cheng #Mr Gray #the Gray Man #Jordan #Hennessy #Jordan Hennessy #Farooq-Lane #Ronan Lynch #Matthew Lynch #TRC #TDT #tags by me

[faustiandevil]

Depression makes a man do stupid things and here is what I did. Peter Lorre tier list, all movies (well the ones that were available online and in a language I could understand), all characters ranked in a highly scientific way. Feel free to defend your blorbos, but know this I’m right, you’re wrong, SHUDDUP!! (This is a reference I hope y’all get, but in any case do feel free to defend your blorbos I wanna hear y’alls takes.)

My reasonings under the cut. Enter, but be warned it truly is my twisted sick mind down there. If you scroll down long enough to see the Shining reference, I love you.

Bildreporter Johnny (F.P.1 antwortet nicht): No, no, no, no, no, no! Highly unfuckable look! Why does he look like an old man and a baby at the same time??? I can’t do this!!

Mr. Kentaro Moto (Mr. Moto Series): Racism. I’m sorry, I can’t. Absolutely hate it. Shit tier. Same goes with the movies. I only really liked Mr. Moto’s Gamble, which I found out was actually a Charlie Chan script asdfghjkl

Stephen Danel (Island of Doomed Men): Slave owner. Killed a monkey. Was kind of okay with his wife tho, until the end, I guess they needed a reason to off him.

Roderick Raskolnikov (Crime and Punishment): I’m putting him down on the list, because I read Crime and Punishment and the movie is way too ‘Murican. Already the names were bastardized and as someone who loves Russian literature I just can’t deal with that shit. He was okay, but ehhh… (The 1970 movie is way better, and Taratorkin is the best Rashkolnikov, fucking fight me.)

Nikolai Zaleshoff (Background to Danger): Again, butchering Russian names. Not even a patronymic. Kind of a caricature as well with all of the vodka drinking. And again he gets shot and for what??

Sergeant Berger (The Cross of Lorraine): I’m stronger. I will resist. The scene where he blows the cigarette smoke into the guy’s face and kicks him does things to me. I will admit. But that man is a nazi and I cannot in good consciousness put him anywhere else, but shit tier.

Captain Chang (They Met in Bombay): Glark Cable tolerable?? In my movie?? More likely than you think. Did not like the racism again. The beard is nice, so he goes slightly higher than shit tier.

Baron Ikito (Invisible Agent): He gets put in a slightly higher tier than shit tier only, because of the last line in the movie that made me very very gay. “I can make an honorable man out of you” like you can’t make him say shit like that I’m already a weak little homosexual!!

Hilary Cummins (The Beast With Five Fingers): This may be a surprise, but listen, hear me out, I have reasons. I cannot deal with an Astrology bitch. Like, yeah I also like to read my horrorscope every now and then, and I’m a Satanist, but I don’t vibe with that shit, he is too obsessed. Not every gay is gonna be into Asstrology. Also I cannot moan the name Hilary while giving this man dick without thinking of the Clinton woman. Also Cummins??? That’s an OnlyEnemies name. PS. The movie was bad when the hand turned out to be fake.

Julius O’Hara (Beat The Devil): Oh, no I’m not vibing with the hair again. I’m not into it. Loved his bullshitting, even if he is not very good at lying.

Conseil (20,000 Leagues Under the Sea): Liked seeing him together with my rich successful uncle Lukács, and had some nice fits in the movie, but it’s only slightly above shit tier. Saw tentacles, but got nothing. Absolutely disappointed.

Ahmed (Five Weeks in a Balloon): Racism again. Love his rainbow colored pants. The fez does nothing for me. Because of the earring he gets put higher than shit tier.

Pawlitschek (Bomben Auf Monte Carlo): He’s cute. He knows how to cook. Its fucking goulash of course, but ugggh fine I’ll eat it. Look I love you I’ll eat it. Fucking tourist food that no self-respecting Hungarian is going to touch. It’s just fucking soup.

Otto Fuesslli (What Women Dream Of): He is adorable. Clearly faking that piano play, but he sings like an angle. Docking points for being a cop tho. I’m sorry, but in this house we ain’t fucking cops.

Maj. Sigfried Gruning (Lancer Spy): Okay, I’m conflicted. Not sold on the hair, or the mustache, but I’m a military man, I love a uniform, he has a sword. (Babygirl you wanna see my sword~?) Uhhh… he also doesn’t do much in the movie.

Louis ‘The Dope’ Monteau (I’ll Give a Million): Adowable. A dumb baby. And that is why he only gets put in mid tier. Too cute for my taste. Still good for him and all the other poor homeless guys for pulling off the scam of the century on the rich bastards. Respect.

Polo (I Was An Adventuress): Same problem with Louis. He has too much boi energy. Every time I see that image where he looks up with them big ol’ eyes all I can think about is that meme the “Bitch use your words I don’t speak bottom”.

The Stranger (The Stranger on The Third Floor): Okay… uhm… this is a though one… There’s not much info on The Stranger, we don’t even know his name, we only know that he is mentally ill and killed a man. We all have our faults. I mean in this day and age who isn’t mentally ill and killed at least one person. So… mid tier. Like his scarf tho.

Paul Hyde (Mr. District Attorney): The way he got shot was bullshit. What the fuck was that about?? I hardly even remember this movie.

Joel Cairo (The Maltese Falcon): Okay… I gotta confess… I fucking hate the Maltese Falcon. There I said it. It just rubs me the wrong way that in book context and Hays code movie context Joel is gay and gets beaten up the most. Like finally a highly canon gay one for me and I get this home of phobia. Fuck this. Also I do not like Bogart and I think this movie started it lol.

Pepi (All Through the Night): I’mma get shit for this. But… but… hear me out… sometimes a man thinks with his dick and not with his brain. This is one of them. When he shows up at the bar, dressed up all nice, smoking his little cigarette… I’m weak. And yes I know he is a nazi, but I could fix him. I could fuck the fascism out of him. If not… well… //cocks gun// Mid tier, because I can’t put him higher than that. If not for the fascism he would be A tier.

Jan Bernazsky (The Conspirators): I remember nothing from this movie. I think he was a red herring. He goes in mid.

Slimane (Casbah): Casablanca the musical. Getting very gay vibes from Slimane. Why are you a detective? To catch other men. To hold them close after you shoot them. Wow faggy. Anyway, a bit conflicted and had to dock points, because again cop.

Toady (Rope of Sand): I only watched this movie, because Claude Rains is the same height as me and I was hoping to see them stand next to each other, so I can visualize the height difference. Got a very nice homosexual cig lit scene from it. I have no recollection of the movie besides that scene, but he looks fine.

Japanese Steward on the S.S. Carnatic (Around the World in Eighty Days): I can’t fuck a man on a boat I’ll get sea sick.

Kurt Bergner (The Buster Keaton Story): Were you channeling some other asshole director from your life? You looked like you knew what you were doing? Anyway, would fuck just so I could get my start in the movie industry, but this relationship ain’t gonna last longer than a headline.

Brankov (Silk Stockings): Glorious Technicolor~ I have issues with this movie. It’s the inferior Ninotchka. The Russian names are once again butchered. The dancing is nice. Go white boy, fuck up the dance floor!! Nothing else to say about it really.

Abdul (The Sad Sack): Mon petite~! If I justified Pepi being in mid-tier, I can do the same for Abdul. He was eager to kill Jerry Lewis’ character and I think the movie would have benefited from it. Still he can’t go higher, because of the… ehh… Hollywood racism. He would be top fucking tier otherwise.

Skeeter (The Big Circus): Not into clowns. (A contradictory statement. If you know you know.)

Montresor (Tales of Terror): I’m in a predicament, because I’m a cat lover and this man was mean to a cat. He is very hot tho. Sorry, babes, but you gotta go into the mid rankings. Also fix your alcohol problem, I cannot let Freud win.

Hans Beckert (M): Okay, this is going to be controversial putting the child murderer so high up on the list, but consider this. He is so pathetic when he gets thrown down the stairs that I just can’t not fuck him. I’m also willing to look past that besides murder he also probably did other things too (yeah that’s a bit harder to get past eugh…). The murder I’m fine with tho. I’m very often locked in a train car with screaming children and I mean that would make anyone start whistling the tune of Edvard Grieg’s In the Hall of the Mountain King. My dick could fix him, but if he wants to murder a child every now and then. I’m all for it.

Redakteur Stix (Die Koffer des Herrn O.F.): This man fucks. And I do mean HE fucks. Polo and Louis wish they were like Stix. He goes into A tier for terrorizing a whole town, getting laid, and getting the girl. Would you like to get the boy as well, hun~?

The General (Secret Agent): This look is absolute horrid… I fucking love it. For someone who is known to be a mustache lover I don’t ever want to see Peter with one. (I’m the one who wears the mustaches in this relationship.) This is an exception tho. It’s a gay disaster look. It’s so bad it’s hot. Extra points for the earring. (The ending to that movie was absolute bullshit tho. General your gun!!)

Prof. Sturm (Nancy Steele Is Missing!): I love it when he is a manipulative little bastard. Also he could have gotten away with it if it weren’t for someone having morals and loving his stolen adoptive child. Absolutely disgusting. The mustache and the glasses combo are acceptable (even if he looks like one of my high school teachers).

M’sieu Pig (Strange Cargo): The other incel. I’m docking points, because for most of the movie I had to watch Clark Gable be a misogynist and I already hate him. All this just to eyeball Peter Lorre… Anyway I would make that piggy squeal. A tier, but only because he shows off a bit of chest hair.

Fenninger (You’ll Find Out): Not particularly fond of this look. I like it better when his hair is a bit messy. Is one third of an evil gay polycule, so points to that. And also the long cig holder. Very gay, hun. And who can forget the og teeth. Would still drag my tongue across those chompers I don’t care what anyone says. (Mainly, because I also have similar fucked up looking messy teeth.)

Signor Ugarte (Casablanca): I’m putting him only in A tier, because he killed nazis at the start of the movie and is a desperate little homo, which is a trait I very much relate to. But Bogart… really… honey you could do so much better. Seriously y’all look me in the eye and tell me that Bogart is hot, when he plays these asshole characters. I’ll wait. Besides I’m right here. I’m ready to top you babe.

Marius (Passage To Marseilles): Love a man who is honest and proud of his professional achievements. And is very much good with his hands hello~ Dies (seriously why???) while fighting nazis. A bit of a scraggly look, but I love it. I also had to look up pics for this and turtlenecks make any man look slutty… and sir… your tits!! I need to feel them through the fabric~ Or just in general~

Dr. Einstein (Arsenic and Old Lace): He is a cute pathetic little meow meow. I want to (the following sentence had to be censored due to violating the Hays code). I am putting him only in A tier, because he is too popular, but I feel like that’s a personal bias.

Johannes Koenig (Hotel Berlin): Again a nice scraggly look. I love it~ He does get his shit together by the end and that’s good, but I wish he’d kept the five o’clock.

Contreras (Confidential Agent): I love a man who hates his job. So relatable. He does a big no no with being a sellout to the fascists, but he gets his just desserts and surprising doesn’t die from a gun, but a heart attack (and they pull a Weekend at Bernie’s with his corpse later on). He is really pathetic and I cannot control myself.

Johnny West (Three Strangers): //heavy breathing// I want him!! Finally a romantic role!! Babygirl yes!! I know you could do it!! If only you also took the money!!!!!!!!! For that last one he goes into A tier and not higher.

Gino (The Chase): Show off more of that chest hair, slut!! I would also not let this man drive (not that I can either). Besides babes the backseat has more space~

Nick (Quicksand): Blackmailing is fun when it’s not happening to you~ Also if we get together I could probably play the games for free. That’s a plus.

Paynter (Double Confession): This man was so desperate for approval. And y’all cannot tell me that he and Charlie weren’t a bit more than friends. Oh a man saves you and now you would do murders for him (except he’s a loser and is not okay with murder). Babe ditch him I would let you kill people for me. I’m not a pussy.

Dr. Karl Rothe/Dr. Karl Neumeister (The Lost One): Babygirl you have some deep rooted psychological issues that you should get checked out. Still, here’s my number. Call me, when you feel like choking me out, but not in a killing way. (Or maybe in a killing way, depends on how I feel.)

Colonel John Miguel Orlando Arragas (Congo Crossing): The straights looked at each other once and immediately kissed, so that set the tone for me. Anyway he is a cop, but he does do the right thing at the end, but still a cop. The uniform is nice. Doesn’t like his job much, so that’s kind of sexy. Eh, you know, what A tier. He is the exception. (I do hope he doesn’t expect me to say his entire name while I’m d(HAYS CODE) him down and making him swallow my (HAYS CODE).)

Nero (The Story of Mankind): Listen, I have some kinks… if you read my writings you know… I’m also drawn to a man with power, and money, and insanity. (I’m also really glad he didn’t have the chin beard like the real Nero, because that’s a deal breaker.)

Smiley (Scent of Mystery): Absolutely disappointed that this movie didn’t have a Dora the Explorer segment where the characters turn to the screen and ask the viewer if they can guess the mystery scent. Anyway hot. I love a man who knows how to be crafty regarding his job. Cheating, stealing, lying, all traits that make a honest Hungarian. Even stole someone’s wife just for the heck of it. Oh, honey~ Only A tier, because I can’t see this relationship going further than some fun in the backseat, but that’s probably enough.

Comm. Lucius Emery (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea): He has a pet shark and wears a uniform. I’m already undoing my belt. This movie was… mmm… not good tho.

Dr. Adolphus Bedlo (The Raven): He is an abusive drunk parent. But he is so wet and pathetic. Frued won, I really am just gonna get together with someone who is like my dad (the real one not Béla).

Mr. Strangdour (Muscle Beach Party): He is the strongest man alive and yet I, his silly little kitten get to top him. My only problem with him is that I cannot for the life of me remember his name for some reason so I guess he just gotta deal with being called Sourdough and Stroganoff for the rest of his life. My concern is that his stupid kid is gonna walk in one day and go “Oh, you guys are wrestling, who’s winning? 8D” and I don’t want to deal with that.

Abbott (The Man Who Knew Too Much): He is evil, he is cunning, he has a neat little hair stripe just like me! Would also kill a child, which I personally don’t think is a terrible trait (as we saw earlier). Absolute snack! Baby I’ll be your dragon, I’ll be your right hand arm-man, your silly little homo eye candy!

Dr. Gogol (Mad Love): My favorite incel!! I wanna crack his bald head open with my canines like a hardboiled egg, call him a pathetic loser, and pin him against a wall and tongue him down! But seriously the man is the equivalent of a Reddit user, he has money tho, and if I could be his kept man, I wouldn’t mind.

Colonel Gimpy/Baron Rudolph Maximillian Tagger (Crack-Up): That scene where the plane is crashed into the ocean and his hair is wet and he looks up straight into the camera… //fans self// H-hewwo… daddy… sorry… daddy… sorry… Yeah, top tier. No question.

János ‘Johnny’ Szabó (The Face Behind The Mask): I refuse to use anything, but the correct Hungarian spelling, fuck you Hollywood. Kinda meh about him before the accident, way too happy and optimistic for my liking. I like a man who is bitter and ready to kill. Also something about masks just gives people a certain allure. Gets extra points for being the only Hungarian character Peter ever played and judging from the letter he writes back home, Johnny actually knows the language haha. I wouldn’t have to translate him my stupid memes, we could just switch back and forth. Domestic bliss.

Dr. Arthur Lorencz (The Boogie Man Will Get You): Top fucking tier! The most guy ever! He is a politician, he sells snake oil, he is a doctor, and also the town sheriff, cat lover, gay! Is there something this man can’t do! Love him!

Fritz Bercovy (The Constant Nymph): I know that in the book the character is supposed to be a very antisemitic caricature, but I think it was rewritten in the movie. Also I tried multiple times to check how old Toni is, but I only kept finding it for Tessa, so I’mma just gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say that Fritz is not a groomer, unlike Lewis. With all that out of the way, I have a confessions to make. This character sent me over the edge and I did a Peter Lorre expy in my novel. I am weak. I saw him in the fur with the cane (and the whole club was looking at her) and… he really be doing boyfriend cosplay with one of my main characters. Also he has money and is willing to spend it on his SO, so… //twirls hair// I’d love to be a kept man~

Cornelius Leyden (The Mask of Dimitrios): This man was put on this wretched Earth to wear bowties and by Lucifer he makes them look good. Also he has little gray hairs on the side. And glasses!!! //heavy breathing// I need to make him scream my name all through the night!

Peter Lorre (Hollywood Canteen): That’s just my mans! That’s just my guy! That’s just my husband! My sweet cheese! My rotten soldier! My good time BOI! How could I not put him at the top? (Disclaimer: The only one topping that man is me ayyyy)

Marko (Black Angel): This man really cannot sit normally, huh. Anyway, he was hot, fruity, and a loving father. And the movie wasn’t bad either. I was actually rooting for the straights in this one.

Victor Emmric (The Verdict): Oh, he is husband material. He is a morbid little bastard, and is also romantic. A bit on the drunk side, but I don’t care. He’s hot. Would love to do art trades with him.

Kismet (My Favourite Brunette): This man is MY favourite brunette. My nasty boyfriend who holds me at knife point and spits in my mouth and calls me his bitch~ (Is that a knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me~) I would also help this man get his citizenship.

Peter Lorre (Meet Me in Las Vegas): People who say that they are only into him when he is young and slim are weak as fuck. Oh, so just because this man is old and fat and his biological clock is not ticking anymore you don’t wanna try and get him preganant anymore??? Move over!! I’ll give this man evil milk (read: cum).

Commissioner Lamoret (Hell Ship Mutiny): I love a man who absolutely hates his job and just wants an easy life and is also willing to murder a child for it. We have so much in common~ And with my help, we would have gotten away with it. We’d be spending retirement in Bora Bora, baybeh.

Felix Gillie (The Comedy of Terrors): You see that man? That man, is my husband. We are married. He supports me and I support him. I would lie in the coffin that he made for me. I know that most peeps fall for him in Arsenic, well I’m different. I have the Father Issues and I want stability and I feel like Felix would give that to me.

Morgan Heywood (The Patsy): He was suffering, I was suffering, there was a collective suffering with this movie. Our meet-cute is me absolutely going feral and killing Jerry Lewis right in front of him. Our eyes lock as I’m covered in blood and the cops take me away. He falls in love with me right then and there. Conjugal visits right until the end of my life sentence.

Okay, y'all can go now~

#Peter Lorre #Tier List #You cannot make me tag all the movies and characters #Faustian Fables #Faustian Imagery

[quietbluejay]

Godblight 1

What in the anime lightning crackling between eyes

OWO perhaps….Eldar spotted???

guilliman: when other people use "the ends justify the means and doing bad things to get good results is based, actually" as an excuse, it's cringe guilliman: when i do it, it's fine

ELDAR SPOTTED!!!!

I mean it was a more tolerant age the same way dying from salmonella poisoning is better than dying from lingchi

well idk maybe Ultramar back in the day was less xenophobic than the empire was in general oh lovely it's a tzeentchian daemon …man i love it when an author goes "hey, actually, consequentialism sucks"

time for us to meet a normal human living on a Nurglite planet ….the main thing that being in the Imperium has over being in Nurgle's dominion is the possibility, however slim it might be, that things will get better for you and in general reading this makes it abundantly clear why Nurgle would be so popular on a hive world if your suffering is guaranteed, then at least you can have guaranteed happiness with it of course "get well soon" is a nurglite curse

oh its time for mortarion to commune through the fungus with typhus this whole conversation is just:

back to nurgle demon shenanigans with ku'gath

he's so delightful for once everyone else is sad but he's not enjoying it also it's time for baby fights two with rotigus and ku'gath this is reminding me of interactions i had with my sister when we were both like 10 or under

amazing incredible 10/10

(on the topic of blorbos where is Voiiiii I want Voi point of view why are the sisters of silence being slept on) psyker dude: it is physically painful being in the same room as guilliman because of his stress and depression

see, the thing about a cult of reason is that you're turning reason into a cult

Donas: Humans don't need gods because all gods are evil and from the warp Natase: #notallgods okay this is interesting and is covering something i've been curious about which is how godhood and faith work and i was right haha! so, some gods are created from faith, some are completely faith-independent, some don't need faith but get power from it nonetheless

from what i saw in the other books it seems like the faith and the emperor's power were originally separate, which is weird well kind of like the power that came from people's faith in the emperor, was independent of the emperor himself and my theory was that it's got to do with humanity being a psychic species and the warp is "your mind makes it real" and then since the faith had a specific focus (the emperor) it became attached to him and became a self-sustaining cycle

someone pick up the phone because I called it

it's entirely possible to become a god against your own will and then get shaped by what people believe you to be natase: the incident with the girl driving back demons might have been actually you all along

guilliman: it's not enough i have to deal with everything else, but this too guilliman: nope. i reject this. guilliman: okay. okay. guilliman: ok so if the Emperor really is a god now, what does this mean for our strategy? pffff typical guilliman also i am proud of him here he's actually using reason! rather than blindly turning "reason" into a dogma and avoiding uncomfortable truths.

and now back to ku'gath once again loving some of the imagery "the hospital walls slumped like corpses" actually thinking on the subject, could Shiki kill a chaos god

tattleslug: look everyone knows you hate everyone tattleslug: it's not a secret at all

actually wait we're back to guilliman again and im cackling he's Done

custodes dude: this is a bad idea guilliman: k guilliman: i will walk you through my reasoning one more time custodes dude: you already- guilliman: since you're making me put up with you constantly bugging me, you will have to put up with hearing me repeatedly explain things guilliman: also my final reason is if i don't get to do violence to something i am going to snap

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer

[catboy-cyrus]

Cyrus 1, 2, 13, 15, 20, 26

Hell yeah!!! You KNOW i have so many thoughts about him. Ask game here! I'm still up for answering more :3

1-My first impression of them

I've known about him for ages since he is the main antagonist of one of the games but I never really thought about him all that much until PLA and Cyllene. I love Cyllene and I found the parallels and differences between the two of them very interesting but I just straight up didn't like Cyrus. I thought his whole plan made no sense and I thought team Galactic's theming was silly (and still do but it's silly affectionate rather than silly derogatory). Here's an image I made from my Cyrus hater era:

I do stand by it though Cyllene is just objectively cooler she can swordfight. Get on it blue boy.

2- When I think I truly started to like them

I remember exactly when and why. I'd come to think about him more just as his own character but he wasn't a blorbo, just a vaguely interesting guy I put in unpleasant situations. I found him disappearing into the distortion world and never being seen again fun since woah local antagonist meets a fate worse than death. I still didn't like him all that much or understand him though. Until I was poking around and found the stuff from the platinum manga, Cyrus bleeding from the eyes and dead on the floor and cradling shaymin and stuff and I was like holy shit. this is cool. there's way more to this guy than I thought (helps that the distortion world fucked him up and me and Ren Giratinaplushie love to put a guy in the distortion world). And from there I decided to go have a look at RR cyrus and "Had I met you sooner... Would things have been different for me...?" as well as his interactions with the Rotom Dex hit me like a fucking truck and the rest is history.

13- Your favorite friendship they have

His friendship with the Commanders is very important to me. It's one sided because. Well he's Cyrus. But I like to think he cares for them more than he thinks he does, and doesn't even realise it. I mean three guys who care about this depressed assshole loner so much they would end the world for him? Come on. He's got FRIENDS dammit. Also him and Sophocles in masters is real important to me. He sees himself in Sophocles and Sophocles is so desperate to help him and AUGH........ Sophocles is very much what Cyrus could've been.

15- Worst storyline they had

His anime plotline. Next question. (phrased so as to be amusing)

20- A weird headcanon

hm, I don't know if this is 'weird' but I like to think that he just kind of has a natural affinity for Rotom. Like they see him and just. wander right over and cozy up on his shoulder and he has no idea why. They love him for no real reason. I like to think of Rotom in the pokemon world as Lazarus taxa (since they're in PLA but presented as a recent discovery in Platinum), and Cyrus the one to rediscover them as a child and that's how he did it. Such a rare and elusive pokemon just wandering right up to him possessing one of his toys.

26-When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

Hmm... Difficult question. I think that in terms of like. meta characterisation he's pretty consistent (barring anime cyrus but we don't talk about that), but in terms of like in universe, i do think that a lot of his public facing facade is an act. He's not personable, he's good with speeches because its pre-prepared and he presents a deliberately constructed face to his people. I guess in that vein when he's being most 'himself' would probably be when he gets pissed off and rants at you on top of Mt. Coronet, and in Masters when he's speaking with Sophocles about machines and stuff. Admittedly for totally different reasons but yeah.

#while I'm at it the origin of catboy cyrus was a name i picked one time on pokemon showdown. it was a one-off joke that stuck #thank you for the ask! any time I get to rant about Cyrus is a good time :3 #ask #standardizedbogey #cyrus meows

[trashland-llamas]

Sidemen + Troops stuck in an elevator

simon; stuck in an elevator because harry decided to jump.

everyone; fucking mint

simon; freezy and lux have had three panic attacks in 10 minutes.

everyone; fucking mint

simon; george hasn’t said a thing since we got stuck.

everyone; fucking mint

simon; ethan’s being immature and yelling the whole time.

everyone; fucking mint

simon; willne’s just been listening to music and calling his mom

everyone; fucking mint

simon; randolph has to pee so bad he might get a bladder infection

everyone; fucking mint

simon; ksi, tobi and vik are the ones that we’re gonna blame because they're the minority

everyone; fucking mint

. . .

some passerby; men don’t like loud women

ethan; oh like hell we don’t, someone gotta tell the waitress that I ordered mashed taters and sure shit it ain’t gonna be me

. . .

freezy; no. don’t corner it. it’ll bite you, harry. this is why you don’t take boys from guernsey nowhere. you know what? it will seriously bite you. look at (inaudible). harry, get off of it. man, this is—

harry; —its foot’s hurt

freezy; okay. okay, we’ll just let it go. if it’s, if it’s hurt? i told you. listen, if it’s hurt, harry, what do you plan to do with it once you catch it? let’s go to our room. oh we’re right here. thank goodness. yay little elephant looking animal…HARRY

harry; oh my gosh

freezy; get away from that. quit.

. . .

josh; it's springtime at college which means admissions tours

josh; that's the corner I got robbed on

josh to jj; all I'm saying is the sti clinic is free, like go

vikk; she was really getting on my nerves so i sabotaged her admissions file

josh; yea no. 1 school in the country, we're also no. 1 in depression per capita

vikk; you think we're gonna get another lewdness email today? we haven't gotten one in like a month when the guy was streaking in the library.

. . .

teacher; they have full control to write referrals 

jj to vikk; no cheating, give him a referral 

ethan; smoke weed everyday

tobi; he needs a referral

. . .

tobi after missing the trash can 3x: Imma bout to square down with this trash can

*pretends to aggressively kick at it*

. . .

jj; does simon look like a 70s pornstar? 

jj; don't answer that

. . .

freya to talia; 3 more life rules

1; if he came and you didn’t, you fucked him. that’s your bitch now.

2; money’s like a boomerang, it comes and goes. why are you saving it? you can’t spend it when you’re dead

and 3; saturday’s a state of mind, okay? everyday’s a weekend.

. . .

harry; you really came all this way for me? how did you guys even get here so fast?

vikk; several traffic violations

jj; three counts of resisting arrest

simon; roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks

josh; also that’s not our car

. . .

tobi; take me to art museums and make out with me

jj; but they said to not touch the masterpieces

tobi; well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall

ethan; this is payne, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again

. . .

manny to tobi; told mom what blorbo means and she said 'ernie from sesame street is my blorbo.'

#sidemen #sidemen troops #incorrect quotes #incorrect sidemen quotes #harry lewis #wroetoshaw #w2s #simon minter #miniminter #olajide olatunji #ksi #tobi brown #tbjzl #george memeulous #memeulous #ethan payne #behzinga #willne #william lenney #randolph #calfreezy #callux #callum airey #callum mcginley #vikram barn #vikkstar123 #freya nightingale #talia mar