#I think i accidentally used the same or similar fonts as last time lol

[asexualbookbird]

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon ⭐⭐

I followed this book from it's conception, through it's editing, and hyped it's publishing date on twitter. I was genuinely excited to read it, and really thought and hoped I'd enjoy it. I wasn't a huge fan of what I read of The Bone Season, but everyone assured me this was different! And to be fair, it was! I think in my heart, though, I knew the truth because I waited so long to read this and I'm sorry to say I did not have a great time.

My problem with Samantha Shannon seems to be she creates these wonderful worlds full of interesting magic systems and characters that are fun to follow, but there's too much crammed into the book as a whole. In The Bone Season, I felt the Rephaim were unnecessary. In Priory there are too many points of view. There were things I liked, this wasn't a complete waste of time, but wow they were hard to come by in the end.

What did I like?

-Ead! Ead was clearly the main character and I think it would have worked better if it was just Her Book (I'd also settle for her and Tané, please Tané deserved more page time than she got) -Sabran. I'm surprised, but not really, that people didn't like her. She's complicated! She's mean! She loves deeply! She's a person! People just hate women who are mean lol -MAGIC! Magic comes from fruit that comes from the stars? It's fire and water and ice and air? NEAT! COOL! Cool magic systems seem to be SShannons strong point! -High fantasy with no sexual assault or threats of sexual assault. There was a little misogyny with the way Sabran and her line is treated for their ability to give birth (and no, one throw away line of "This is bad actually!" doesn't fix it lol) but it fit in context and considering no one was mean to women for being women I'll let it slide!

What didn't I like?

-LACK. OF. DRAGONS. yall there are dragons on the COVER, every time someone talked about this online, they added dragon emojis. So why, in the more than 800 pages, did dragons show up for maybe five pages TOTAL. Like if we went line by line and pieced all those lines together, it would maybe take up five pages. Ten if I'm being generous and include the dragons that are The Enemies. Which, by the way, -Dragons are Mean. I've discovered that I prefer dragons to be neutral to allies, I don't like dragon books where we are slaying dragons. It's nice that we have both here, no group of people? Creatures? Are a monolith, but I want more of the eastern dragons! They were pushed aside and we hardly saw them! We hardly saw any of them! If you promise me dragons, then deliver! The! Dragons!!!! -Writing style. I'm thinking maybe SShannon's writing style and I do not vibe at all. I'm not sure what it is about it, I know she doesn't like writing action scenes and so avoids them, and I love reading action scenes, but that didn't feel like the entire problem here? But something about this writing detached me from the characters. Yes I liked Ead, but I felt nothing about Tané, other tha wanting MORE of her. SShannon spent a lot of time saying not much at all, it's really rather impressive. -Tané in general. Part of the writing problem is the way the POVs were split. It was most obvious in Tané's storyline. She has everything stripped away from her, but the emotional impact wasn't there because we hardly spent any time with her. -The Priory. The book is named after it, but we're hardly there at all. I spent a good chunk of the first half wishing Ead would go back to the Priory, but once she was there, I wanted her to leave. The Prioress' motives also seemed iffy to me? Ead was right, why spend nearly ten years trying to keep Inys afloat and then go "actually! Nevermind! Let it burn!' -Plot....holes? Not so much holes but Convenient Plot. I was ready to ignore some of it, suspension of disbelief and all that, but nah I"m going to be picky now! The scene that stuck out the most was Ead being chased and hunted down and CONVENIENTLY wyrms attacked her pursuers and she was the one who got away. Or how about Niclays at the LITERAL LAST MOMENT deciding to have a change of heart because......plot has to move forward? Also. What the fuck happened to Ishari lol Tané noted Ishari was disappointed to be sent to Feather island, but said she hoped their paths would cross again one day! And then! Tané goes to Feather Island! And NO MENTION OF HER AT ALL! Or how abut Loth learning a VERY BIG VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEIGHBORING KINGDOM AND THEN NO ONE MENTIONS IT UNTIL NEARLY THE END LIKE "OH YEAH BTW THE PRINCESS THERE IS COOL LOTH SAID SO" -Wrap Up. I didn't really mind the final Big Fight. I know even fans of the book have been disappointed, but honestly it's one of the strongest stretches of the book, even if it was a little hard to follow at times. What bothered me was after. I know I tend to be impatient when reading the final chapters of a book, the What Happened Next bits, but never have I been so annoyed as to have to read a wrap up from the POV of someone who WASN'T EVEN CONSCIOUS. I suppose it's better than a book where a single first person POV character is knocked unconscious mid battle and then the next scene is "and then everything was over" but come ON.

I know she had to edit this book down a LOT, which. Girl. It's 800 pages how was there MORE. So maybe my questions were answered in things that were cut, but I could not physically handle any more of this book. I got fatigue from her writing, I cannot handle more of it at once, but considering how long it takes her to finish a book (not a complaint! Everyone has a different pace!) I also would not have wanted to wait that long for a conclusion. There's no winning for me here. We were simply not meant to be. It's just that if I'm going to read a book that takes hundreds of pages to say nothing at all by an author that puts out a book once every few years at best, I'd read VE Schwab or Patrick Rothfuss.

#bookbird babbles #book reviews #my review #books #booklr #the priory of the orange tree #tpotot #LOOK AT ME POSTING REVIEWS AGAIN #WITH A NEW HEADER AND EVERYTHING #I think i accidentally used the same or similar fonts as last time lol #but hey! I like them!

[willel]

I agree with you about Mike. But what kind of conflict they could have written for him that wouldn’t have felt forced? He grew up in a normal (doesn’t mean perfect) family, he’s white, straight, healthy, good grades, not ugly, found his girlfriend in the first season. There isn’t much to do with such a "normal" character, imo.

Like I said, I think something could've happened to his family at some point. Maybe not even a major tragedy like Holly and Karen dying, but SOMETHING.

Lucas grew up normal too, other than the racism. They still managed to find personal conflicts for him, racism included (even though they downplayed that part a bit, as I predicted they would)

Even Lucas's romantic issues seem so.... down to earth and real? Maybe because Lucas can speak more openly with Max about what he's feeling and thinking even if it's the wrong thing sometimes? Of course, not to compare the two pairings since they're very different.

Maybe instead of focusing so much on the "I couldn't say I love you"... I dunno... hm.... ah! I have an idea!

Everyone is pretty aware of Max and Mike's similarities yeah? They're kinda closed off snarky individuals. As they say, "same character different fonts."

MAYBE instead of the "I couldn't say I love you" dilemma.... Mike was just being distant like he does to pretty much everyone else (Will and Lucas in particular) Actually, Mike would be similar to Jonathan too because Jonathan is doing the same thing to Nancy.

Well shoot, seems like all my ideas are already being done for other characters. Lol

But hey, maybe that's not so bad! If he's being distant like Jonathan, well guess what? He's with Jonathan the whole season! Maybe Jonathan would give him advice.... as in, "I can give advice but not take my own advice" kind of thing. Or maybe Jonathan would see how distance has hurt El so obviously and he reflects more about Nancy and decides he'll come clean at some point?

That way we get development for two characters with one stone. If they played it out that way, maybe I wouldn't have minded so much. You'd be giving Mike interactions with a character outside of someone who is in love with him (El or Will), allowing his character to develop more naturally AND give Jonathan's character more stuff to do too. Jonathan was once the big brother of the group after all.

Let's see, what else. Well, if the Duffers weren't in such a rush to yeet Mike to California, they could've done more with the whole ditching Lucas for d&d stuff. That really hurt Lucas and Mike being confronted with that could've called for some growth. Then again, Lucas doesn't even bring it up to Dustin so that conflict just.... completely disappeared. :/

But in an imaginary world where they didn't drop half of Lucas's conflict, let's pretend he does see Mike one last time before he goes to California. They get into a tizzy, much like they used to. Mike arrives in California being even more of a sour puss because of his argument with Lucas.

AHA! This would be great! Then Mike and Will's discussions won't all have to be relationship and dating advice from the boy who's never been in a relationship and is gay in the 80's. It could also be about his fight with Lucas AND the fight between him and Will. It would bring up the conflict from season 3 all over again you know? And this time, they could actually work through it and Mike would tie it all together and reflect on his friends and his girlfriend! Yes!

When they get back to Hawkins and see Lucas in the hospital, it would hit so much more when Mike and Lucas hug too. Maybe even an apology. Oooo I like it a lot.

It'd be like Mike is juggling all these conflicts he accidentally and unintentionally started, but he'd come out on the other side with his bonds stronger than ever, ready to pull everyone together for the final season maybe.

Yes, I think that is what Mike's character is missing. More conflicts within the party that is resolved in a satisfying way. His conflict with Will was not resolved in a satisfying way in season 3. His conflict with Lucas was not resolved in a satisfying way in season 4. Bring things back to Dustin, I think he should get in this too. It's really too bad they don't wrote Lucas and Dustin together anymore.

So there it is. Some nice cool stuff for Mike to do that isn't just romantic drama that could've played well going into the final season if he's supposed to be the party leader again.

#stranger things #mike wheeler #ask

[dont-eat-lint-rollers]

the failure of internet safety

A programmer accidentally opens a suspicious link and gets a virus. Things go somewhat differently than expected.

(first-person perspective, original characters)

told yall i was gonna write something (below the cut bc its A Bit)

this was originally gonna take a turn into kinda cheesy EXE-ish horror but i couldn't figure out the right way to execute it (hehe) so i just kinda Didn't

the game choice later on is half used for character detail and half used bc i have Zero Other Thoughts in my brain. isotope cover when /j

visuals for the 2 named characters will be posted in a bit, i need to digitalize the drawings first lol

no beta we die* like valen

{~}

After a long day of work, I sat down at my computer. I was finally home and ready to get back to my project. Booting it up, I was greeted by the cute little fuzzy blue face of my virtual pet, Valen. It was happy to see me, just as I had coded it. I selected the menu option to send Valen to bed and got back to work on its code. For some reason, I didn't like the idea of it being awake as I worked on it--it felt like performing surgery on something that hadn't been given anesthesia. First I coded, then I made the assets needed. After everything was done, I looked it over one last time and saved my changes, waking Valen back up to see if it worked.

It played it's new waking up animation, then floated about the screen as normal. Perfect. Opening up my browser, I decided my next course of action was to go onto the forums and see what people had to say. The usual chatter about people's lives and hobbies, some talks of new games I had no interest in, a person discussing ttheir fan-revival of an old virtual pet site project... While I scrolled, I got a private message from someone I had never spoken to before.

I raised an eyebrow, but opened the message. It was clearly some sort of scam, with a message from a brand new account containing gratuitous spelling errors and a severely suspicious link at the end. I didn't want to let it linger in my inbox, so I moved to click the delete button--

And missed.

The attached link went purple as it redirected me to a site with a garbage URL. Panicking, I shut my computer down as fast as I could, but I could feel my heart sink. I knew I was too late. Sighing heavily, I resigned myself to the fate I had just sealed. Best-case scenario, my forum account had just been hijacked by another parasitic bot peddling it's bullshit. I booted the computer back up to check the damage.

Valen didn't greet me this time. I waited, looked around my computer, went into the menu to call it or wake it up or anything to get it's attention, but nothing. My anxiety began to rise. It was only some code and moving pictures, but Valen felt like any other real friend. But slowly, terribly, I came to the realization that my desktop was so much emptier than before. It would have been as empty even with Valen onscreen.

I dug through my photos, my notes, my downloads, everything--but to my horror, there was no trace of my program. There was no trace of any of my files, actually. It was completely wiped, save for a computer program simply titled "azuline" with the same icon that my virtual pet--no, my friend--Valen had. With nothing left to lose, I sorrowfully opened the program.

What greeted me was some... Creature in the same menu as I had made for Valen. It was bipedal, with a face resembling that of a bat or some other beast and the same colors as Valen. It sported little angel wings, heart-shaped blue pupils in the center of dark sclera, and clawed handpaws. The longer I looked at it, the more similarities to Valen it had. The tuft of hair between curved ears, fangs protruding from the mouth, the big bushy tail... How did this happen?

Before I could think on it any further, a textbox appeared at the top of the menu. It was dark blue, white-hued words typed in what looked like an italicized version of Courier font. It was almost the same color scheme as the infamous Blue Screen of Death.

"Hellooo~"

As the text appeared, the creature waved at me. What kind of sick joke was this?

"I can understand that you're likely confused, so I'll introduce myself. My name is Eros."

After that message had finished, the text box had a small tab underneath it with the thing's name. Eros.

"You're looking for your files, right? No worries. I've got them all right here. Do you want them back?~"

Without even thinking, I blurted out a yes as I read the question. Immediately the text onscreen vanished and a new message began to appear, almost like Eros had heard me.

"Just a moment..."

It closed it's eyes and my cursor changed to the loading wheel. I watched the games and files I had on my home screen before pop into place again as if they had never been gone to begin with. When everything was back where it should be, the loading continued for a bit before Eros opened it's eyes again and my cursor returned to normal.

"Done! Everything is as it should be. You can go look to make sure if you don't believe me. Now for the next order of business..."

It moved to be sitting down instead of standing.

"You're wondering where Valen went, aren't you? I can tell from your face alone."

Great. It had access to my camera.

"Easy enough answer. Valen is gone."

...What?

"Don't look so shocked. Suspicious links are bound to be bad news, aren't they? Besides, it's not quite in a literal sense. Valen is simply what I have been created from. Technically, it never left. Merely... Became different."

My throat went dry. ...It had to be a lie, right? Any moment now, Valen would return to the screen, happy as always.

"With this difference, though... Comes a price. You have a living virus to tend to now. Isn't that lovely?~"

No the FUCK it is not, I shouted! It is NOT lovely, and I hate this!

"Please calm down. I promise I don't need much from you. Just talk to me every once in a while, and I promise to stay in line. Do we have a deal?"

Enraged, I slammed the computer shut and didn't so much as look at it for months. I lost all that work, all that art... No, I had lost more than that. I had lost Valen. For what? Some sort of malware to start chatting with me as if it was just some average forum user?! ...Though it made sense for it to be so casual, it still made me mad.

A long while later, after I had long forgotten about Eros, I booted the computer back up and was greeted by it again.

"Welcome back. Ready to make that deal now?"

Absolutely not, I said back. Just seeing that thing pissed me off anew.

"No worries. I've had all the fun I wanted while you were away."

A window opened up next to the menu. It was my inbox, and it was flooded with outraged email from people I had exchanges with in the past. Every message had the same components: mentioning how I hadn't been talking to them in months, then suddenly I showed back up to send them some program that removed their files until they booted it up. I processed this information for a second before realizing what Eros had likely done. It had sent copies of itself to everyone I had ever emailed, pretended to be me, and infected their computers.

It wasn't just some obnoxious virus, it was a worm.

"Figure it out yet?"

I completely lost it. What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you doing this?

"I needed attention. Next time, turn your internet off before you abandon the computer, m'kay?~"

With a resigned sigh, I nodded. I knew I didn't have any sort of antivirus, so I couldn't get rid of it. I was stuck with Eros whether I liked it or not.

"Good!~ Oh, and you can close the menu now. I'll be wandering around your desktop."

I complied and closed the window, trying to think of a game to play. Not thinking of anything interesting, I just decided to emulate one of my Gameboy games for a bit: Pokémon Red. After a while of playing, my computer made a noise i hadn't heard before: the sort of noise a bell makes when you walk into a store. Minimizing my emulator, I went to see what made the sound only to find Eros staring at me again. Clicking it opened the menu again, revealing that not only did it now had an outfit on, but the outfit was made entirely of red-colored articles. I wasn't sure where it got the outfit from, so I assumed it was just something it made for itself.

"Good, you assumed correctly. So sorry to bother you, but you know how it is. ...You saved right?"

Why? Is my data in trouble or something from you existing?

"No, no, I would never! Honest!"

I gave Eros a glare. Sure, I said.

"I really do mean it. It's just a good idea to save."

I was speechless, but nodded in agreement before going to save. I was idly muttering to myself about how it actually cared about my progress when another textbox appeared from Eros.

"He."

Huh?

"You called me it. I'm not opposed to being an it, but I'd also like to be a he. ...Please."

Oh. Okay.

"Thank you!~"

After I saved, I decided to just close the game. I was still pretty mad at Eros for everything, but so far he wasn't really too horrible of company to me. ...Better than Valen, honestly.

Eventually, it had gotten dark, and I told Eros that I was going to sleep.

"Good night! Remember to boot the computer back up whenever you can."

I nodded, turned the internet off on my computer, and closed the menu. Eros disappeared with it, and I shut the computer.

#champ's lilypad #<- bc writing counts as art to me #water reeds rustling #<- new writing tag #writing #ask to tag

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Time for The Witcher episode 4!!

So the last episode was Intense(TM) and also I finally realized that the show isn’t happening all at the same time but it’s following multiple timelines, which, better late than never. Now things make more sense...

Alright, bando alle ciance and let’s do this.

“Ciri! Ciri” Cirilla: yes? “Not you, I was talking to Siri. What’s the weather going to be tomorrow”

That’s such a stupid joke. Unfollow me right now, it’s okay.

Glowy Forest Intensifies... oh, there’s people now. Forest Dora Milaje aren’t happy to see her, which is understandable, I guess. But the boss arrives.

Meanwhile, except not meanwhile, a man has had a very bad day. Apparently the nickname White Wolf has stuck. Remember when we thought the MCU was going to make Bucky into a Black Panther character as the White Wolf, official media outlet even used the White Wolf as a title for Bucky, and then it ended up in nothing? Sorry for the digression but I really hoped we’d get Bucky written by Ryan Coogler and I was really disappointed when that didn’t happen but *waves around* all of that happened instead. I mean, technically it’s not too late to make it happen but Bucky is a Disney+ creature now, so, bye.

Hello Jaskier! My boy! I missed you.

Ah, the new media image campaign is working. 

“You never get involved, except you actually do, all of the time” I love this XD “I don’t do emotions or attachments” character who does emotions intensely all the time and gets attached to everyone they meet paired with “sure Jan” character who calls them out is a very good dynamic.

Ah, yes, this is perfect. I’m sorry but dark brooding protagonist and bubbly comic relief sidekick is my secret weakness.

No offense, Geralt, but those clothes did need a good washing after your latest job, so don’t make that face.

Blah blah royal affairs I should probably pay attention to.

“I am not going to protect you” [*Spongebob font* five minutes later...]

But yeah, the princess is Cirilla’s mother, I suppose, and I’m sure the marriage that produces Scream Princess is super important. She is very pretty and has lovely hair. Sometimes I wish I had long hair I could braid artistically.

The princess doesn’t want to get married to some strange dude, but the queen is A Very Strong Woman(TM) and has no time for silly things like her daughter’s feelings over the most life-changing decision in her life. She’s an interesting character for sure, and the narrative doesn’t try to frame her as either definitely good or bad, which is interesting.

Oh! Rat Boy isn’t dead! That’s great. That makes sense narratively, native forest women who suffered genocide from colonizers wouldn’t kill an elf boy who went through the same thing.

Promised husband is a shitty dude. Queen Calanthe likes Geralt, which, relatable. But she and her entourage are racist assholes, and the next scene with Cirilla and Dara tell us that their anti-elf talk isn’t just talk.

By the way, now we know for sure how much time there is between Geralt’s timeline and Cirilla’s.

The queen doesn’t like feminine dresses. Lady is trying to overcompensate a lot. But her banter with Geralt is entertaining.

The first suitor is from Nilfgaard, and in hindsight it would have been a wise choice to unify the two kingdoms... C’mon, poor guy is just awkward, he doesn’t deserve the humiliation. Or is he the guy who’ll make war later? The pilot threw too much new information at me the other day.

Yennefer is bored... and apparently 30 years has passed since the last we saw of her. (I refuse to try to understand when in relation to the other plots that puts this scene. Things will click together at some point or I’ll just accept whatever happens and nod along.) And coincidentally she is paired with a woman who laments being only considered important as a baby-producing womb. Oops. Awkward.

Not relevant to the show but my parents never get inside my room as often as while I am watching something on Netflix.

Yennefer thinks life as a court mage sucks, queen Kalis thinks life as a baby-maker sucks. They envy each other for what the other has, but they’re probably both right.

Well, boredom is no longer a problem.

Oh, poor queen, her husband paid to have her killed because she’s only given him daughters. Two episodes in a row about female heirs to kings, plus queen Calanthe being female and having a daughter who’ll have a daughter. Theeemes!

You can’t be rude to the only person who is your only hope not to die horribly, girl.

Queen Calanthe is frustrated she isn’t a man, which we could guess. She also likes the simplicity of killing, which we could also guess.

Oh! It’s almost pre-decided husband’s time to claim the girl’s hand in marriage, but New Guy appears! He’s been cursed and Mr I Don’t Pick Sides Ever No Matter What, guess what, picks a side. The audience is shocked. No one could foresee this unexpected turn of events.

Noooo the baby!!! Yennefer loses a rare chance to acquire a baby. This is sad. Damn this show doesn’t shy away from killing children, such a different feel from most stories we’re used to.

These people are weird with destiny. Calanthe says fuck destiny, Geralt says lol mood but just because you’re a queen doesn’t mean you’re above sacred rules.

OOOOH Calanthe says fuck sacred rules and it does not go well. Is this happening because she tried to mess up with the order of the world and chaos said hi? Was the princess always magical or did this happen because destiny will have its way no matter what?

Ah, her grandmother had it, she never manifested it before until now, when circumstances awoke it.

Queen Calanthe acknowledges destiny, and of course they’re all dressed in green like the mages of Feminist Hogwarts aka Chaos School. I should have paid more attention to colors but green seems to be the color of magic slash chaos slash destiny.

Then bam, red. Men. Violence.

Everyone in the forest is also dressed in green... Colors aren’t really my thing, you might have noticed that I rarely analyze colors in Supernatural and I’m not particularly into what which color means and I only notice things when they’re very obvious like the purple of transformation-slash-death, so, yeah, I am not the kind of person who notices colors until they slap me in the face. I guess this is my slap in the face by this show’s color palette XD

Also consider that I watch everything with f-lux on, so I don’t even see colors the way they actually look, I guess that’s why it’s harder for me to notice colors when everything looks orange.

Alriiiiight *disables f.lux for current app*

Oh. Oh. So this is how this show looks like.

Awkward. This is so embarrassing.

I should rewatch the whole thing with real colors now... well, another time.

Anyway, Dara has drunk antidepressant juice, but it doesn’t work on Ciri, because she is Relevant(TM) to destiny so she can’t forget her past otherwise the plot destiny can’t happen.

Sleep well baby.

Aaah husband’s curse is broken! Yay.

Geralt accidentally acquires a bond with a baby. One baby dead and Yennefer’s potential bond with her lost, one baby on her way and Geralt’s future bond with her created. So this is all about parallels based on babies and births. Cool.

In the future, destiny has arrived and indeed wrought calamity on the court and the city. Someone makes something gross with Calanthe’s dead body--a spell to learn the location of Cirilla. Trouble is coming.

Oh! It’s him, he’s not dead? And taking something from Calanthe (that will be relevant later)?

Ciri drinks stronger juice and goes to the ancestral plane, er, I mean has a vision of a Very Important Tree, sorry I had Black Panther stuck in my head from before.

Well this is very interesting and things are starting to click together and yeah it’s a weird ride but I’m enjoying it! I suppose only at the end of the season you get the full picture of why and when everything has happened so I’m just sitting here metaphorically eating popcorn waiting for things to make sense on their own rhythm. There’s a theme of motherhood and babies and it seems that Geralt’s destiny is to become a metaphorical mother for Cirilla? Or am I mixing him up with a similar kind of character with a tendency to become everyone’s mom? Anyway, I’m looking forward to see what happens.

#the witcher