#I take a lot frm my own trans experience but my experience is not universal so!!!

[angeltrapz]

chainshipping ask time 💙💙 i wld love to hear ur thoughts on favorite albums they’ve shared w each other? + maybe the significance behind the albums.. hmmmvnfn also just more abt Adam being autistic— n maybe how it’d go down when Adam came out to Lar as trans?

tysm,,, 💙💙

music taste/sharing:

mmm that's a rlly interesting question!! I'm honestly not sure abt whole albums, but like I kinda think abt songs. I tend to give Adam my music taste since I feel like it'd be preeetty similar? so like eve 6, placebo, pup, the front bottoms, grandson, lucky boys confusion, etc.! I also feel like Adam is just one of those ppl who Loves introducing ppl to his music, so Lawrence has heard quite a bit of it. if he's super fond of a certain song + recommends it to you, that's his way of being like "hey I love u listen to this" and Lawrence Does, every time. good ones r enemy by eve 6, just one he rly likes, n blind by placebo, one that does remind Adam of he and Lawrence + that's why he shared it. (one of his favourites is nancy boy though and watching Lawrence hear that one fr the first time... an experience. amazing)

Lawrence's music taste... omg. I love this man sm. I Adore the hc though that he ends up listening to a lot of pop just bc diana loves it, so catch him humming the words to one of those songs while he's washing the dishes, tapping his foot n everything while Adam is cracking up at the table (but he's got heart eyes so). HOWEVER bc of this I also feel like Lawrence absolutely loves like. 70s thru 90s music. so like. NKOTB, the beach boys, wham!, beastie boys (can u IMAGINE this man rocking out to no sleep till brooklyn. Adam in the passenger seat like "holy fucking shit." now u have), bon jovi, chicago, peter gabriel, phil collins/genesis, etc.!! (Adam rlly likes older rock n so does Lawrence so they're both just like !!! and it's smth fr them to share!!)

but like one of his BIG faves is elton john. specifically, goodbye yellow brick road, honky cat, rocket man, and mona lisas and mad hatters. THOSE r the ones he shares w Adam, bc they're his favourites!! (ngl every time honky cat comes on Adam is just like "omg u fucking dork" but his face is Always 🥺... sometimes he plays it when Lar's having a bad day bc it helps a little bit,,) but ones he shares w Adam specifically bc it reminds him of them? tiny dancer + your song. it's not even that it's particularly fitting, just tht Adam comes to mind when he hears them, and Adam... needs a moment bc. omg. that is so fucking cute I love you??? oh my god??? (some of Adam's faves are bennie and the jets + take me to the pilot!)

Adam affectionately refers to Lawrence's music taste sometimes as a blend of dad rock + boy bands. it's jokes bc he loves that kinda music too sometimes but Lawrence is always like Hey. It's Good Isn't It? ejkhfja little jokey arguments omg. overall they're very open to each other's music taste and regularly are like "hey I heard this n it reminds me of you" and it's just rlly sweet.

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more abt Adam being autistic:

okay so Adam has like. a pretty intense oral fixation. sooo many times Lawrence has caught him chewing on the erasers of pencils, the drawstrings on his hoodies, sometimes his nails (which is actually one of his more harmful stims, since he picks them down so far and ends up with really painful fingertips; Lawrence keeps an eye on that one and like. lets him know when he’s doing it bc sometimes Adam genuinely doesn’t notice), stuff like that. and like he talks to Adam abt his stims + abt what kind of stim toys r out there, so he kind of gets this idea to get Adam a chew necklace. Adam hasn’t rly had one b4 but he knows of them, so Lawrence gets the idea to just. surprise him w one!

he gets one fr moderate chewers bc he figures that’s what Adam is, and he’s honestly. veeery particular abt the one he chooses. like he puts more thought into it than he probably needs to kjdfkdlksj he’s like that when he gets Adam planned gifts, he can’t help it,, but! I like to think he gets this one fr him (which, again, is one I have in teal!) in claret, which is a deep red; he likes this one bc Adam could chew on it w his back teeth if he wanted + he could just hold it in his mouth if he wanted while he works on things. Lawrence’s not... nervous abt it, he feels pretty confident that Adam will at least like it, but he’s never like... gotten smth like that, so he’s a little bit anxious to see if it’s okay.

so when it actually arrives he’s careful that He is th one who gets the mail so he can keep it a secret, and then after dinner he’s like “so I did a bit of research n I know you like chewing on things so! I got u smth!” and he’s still a little shy abt it but Adam is already looking at him like... 🥺 you what?? so Lawrence hands him the lil box n is like “I wasn’t sure what specifically to get but I hope this will be okay,” and like. when Adam takes it out he’s just like. Oh. Like An Actual Necklace. and the first thing he does is put it around his neck and just pops it in his mouth to test it and the Look on his face is sooooo happy. he’s just like “I love this??? I can just Hold It!!” and Lawrence is happy too bc that was smth he thought about!!!

neither of them cry or anything like that but they’re definitely both just like “I love you so so much” @ each other. n after that Adam usually always has it w him; he holds it in his mouth when he’s developing photos, chews on it instead of his nails + when he’s feeling nervous, sometimes chews it w the back of his teeth while they’re in public. Lawrence is just so happy he likes it and Adam rlly appreciates the thought + loves tht Lawrence put so much thought into it,,,

I also kinda honestly like the idea that they Both get spinner rings? bc Adam gets one and Lawrence is curious abt it so he’s like “yeah try it see if u like it!” n Lar realizes that they’re actually pretty cool n wldn’t mind having one. he gets a rly simple black one while Adam gets a rly pretty metallic blue one, and it actually helps a little bit to calm Lawrence’s paranoia sometimes when they’re out n about,, I hc that after Jigsaw he still has issues w that a little so. it helps n it’s nice!!

to elaborate on smth I mentioned briefly b4, Lawrence is suuuper helpful w pressure stims!!! he gives the most amazing bear hugs and he gets rlly good at interpreting when Adam needs one (when he’s nonverbal, he just sort of. nudges Lar w his shoulder. Lawrence figures out what this means pretty early). he doesn’t mind giving longer ones too, if that’s what Adam needs. he likes being able to do that for him, knowing that it makes him feel better/at least happier when he’s not upset n just wants that pressure. and of course Lar is pretty fond of being close like that; it’s something he didn’t rlly allow himself before, so as long as Adam is okay w it, he loves being able to indulge that want.

to branch off of this, something they regularly do is Lawrence will stretch out on the couch or the bed and Adam will lay on him. he’ll have his arms wrapped tight around Adam’s middle, so there’s still some of that pressure, bc it helps to make Adam feel calmer + also just bc he likes it. they do this a lot during storms or just quiet nights in where they’re not rlly focusing on what’s on TV. I know I mention this one a lot in my fics but I’m So So fond of it,, Adam just lets out this huge sigh and Lar can feel the tension in his body start to seep out and it’s sooo nice. again, another form of closeness Lawrence adores + loves knowing it helps Adam too!!

mmmm little thing, Lawrence might not suuuper understand Adam’s echolalia, but he doesn’t make fun of it/tell him to stop, and that’s like. smth that Adam is so completely unused to. he’s not at all used to ppl just accepting it, having been belittled/punished/made fun of fr it by both his parents + his peers/teachers n other adults, so like he’ll be repeating stuff from movies/shows/memes (bogos binted...) or outlining the steps of a certain task he’s completing and Lar will just. nod. he’ll check sometimes, just 2 ask if Adam is talking to him, but he’ll just smile n nod when Adam admits that he’s not n so Adam stops feeling like... nervous abt expressing that around Lar and it’s nice. it’s good. I feel like Adam’s very at peace w being autistic, but he’s always been a little anxious abt that particular facet just bc of how much backlash he’d faced for it b4, so like to have Lawrence just treat it as nothing out of the ordinary/accept it as it is... it means a looot to Adam. so so much.

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Adam coming out to Lawrence:

okay so I feel like this is def smth Adam was pretty nervous abt,, it’s smth that former partners hadn’t reacted particularly well to, and Lawrence is very very important to him + the most stable relationship he’s probably ever had (after they work thru things in the beginning of course), so he’s kind of worried abt how it’ll go. not that he thinks Lar is like, a shitty person like that - honestly, Adam rlly only expects to get some awkwardly-worded questions - but he’s been wrong b4, and while he rlly rlly hopes he won’t be this time, he can’t help feeling that anxiety.

and he tries to plan it out, he rlly does, but I think what happens is this: he’s doing his t shot in the bathroom (I don’t think he Intentionally hides his vial or anything, but it is behind stuff in the cabinet), the door’s not closed or anything bc he’s not using it/taking a shower, n Lawrence is walking around looking fr him n sees that the bathroom door is slightly ajar + hears Adam sigh as he completes the injection (he finds breathing thru it helps). so he walks in while Adam’s doing it, needle still in, and Adam just. freezes. and is like oh dear god hi. I am not doing drugs.

and there’s a brief pause before Lar just blinks and is like “is that testosterone?” bc I def feel he’s at least encountered one or two trans patients, so he knows a Little bit, and Adam just. doesn’t talk fr a minute. opens n closes his mouth, blinks, and nods, bc what does he say? Lawrence follows that up w “you’re trans?” and Adam nods again, still so very nervous, and Lawrence just smiles n is like “you know that’s fine, right? it’s okay - wait, were you nervous??” and Adam just NODS AGAIN bc he’s experiencing So Many Fucking Emotions right now, and Lar just proceeds to help him care fr the injection site after, bc he might not have ever done this task w t in particular, but he does know basics obviously.

it’s not until after Lawrence gently rolls a bandaid on that Adam talks, and his voice is so so small, and he’s just like, “I swear I was gonna tell you, I was just scared, not ‘cause I think you’re a bad person but like I’ve had ppl react badly and I wanted to plan it, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to like keep it from you,” and he’s just babbling but then Lar just sort of leans down and hugs him and says, “I can’t say that I’m particularly knowledgeable about this sort of thing, but I love you, and you being trans doesn’t change that, okay? it’s fine. we’re fine.” and I don’t think Adam cries, but he gets very close bc of the relief and the love he feels. he definitely shakes a little bit, holds on a little too tight, but Lawrence doesn’t mind. he knows Adam needs this. so it’s okay.

Adam Definitely feels lighter after telling Lawrence, and he also stops hiding his t vial in the back of the cabinet. and he feels kind of goofy about how much better he feels, how he feels like there’s this huge weight off of his shoulders, but he decides it doesn’t matter bc Lawrence accepts him and only asks a couple awkward questions and he knows those questions don’t come from a place of malice, but from a genuine interest + wanting to gain understanding. + Lar does his own research too, a little bit, and it’s smth they talk abt sometimes. just... the fact tht Lawrence Wants to educate himself means a lot, bc he cld just... not? like his parents. but he wants to learn. wants to understand better. n that means everything to Adam.

(little side note I think is funny though: sometimes when Adam loses his packer he’s just like “Lar have u seen my dick??” and it’s. they both crack up over it oh my god. fucking dorks)

#saw #lawrence #adam #asks #long post #tysm!!!!!!! #I love getting asks frm u!! #I personally like th idea that lar is also autistic but this wasn't written w that in mind #ALSO I HOPE. adam coming out to lar wasn't. suuuper cliche or anything lmao #I take a lot frm my own trans experience but my experience is not universal so!!! #+ side note: I have a chainshipping playlist n I cldn't fit it in here but one of the songs on it is two coffins by against me! #do w that what u will #💙 #again thank u th other night was shit n seeing this helped