#I need to outlive them so no one is ever tempted to pray over my fucking casket.

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #maybe I'm too angry at things. #do you think I'm too angry at things? #I think I have a lot to be angry about. #I had a lot to be angry about when I was five years old and I've just been collecting since then #I think children should be allowed to be angry. and I never was. I wasn't even angry. I didn't have anger issues #or. well.. I suppose not being angry at all ever is in fact an issue. so therefore it's an anger issue. #just making up for lost time I guess. healing starts with crying and screaming and being sad and being mad #wanting to kill your parents is perhaps a healthy part of growing up I think. yeah. let's keep telling ourselves that. seems reasonable #honestly though I'm glad I never actually died because I don't wanna imagine the shit my parents would have said at my christian funeral #I need to outlive them so no one is ever tempted to pray over my fucking casket. #I wish ghosts were real cause imagine a pastor preaching at my funeral and then his head just fuckin explodes from my ghost powers #dog could you imagine? shear chaos. pure vindictive spite. Anyway I'm just Hannah Baker-ing this now huh. #shouldn't use death as an emotional weapon. sui is a heavy personal choice not a malicious little jab at people you don't like. #if you leave an argument you shouldn't stick your head back in the room to get the partying shot. leave and never think about them again #except that you can escape in real life. it's not next life or bust. there's other options. remember that. it's not just one way of escape #oh I just realized why I feel this way. my dad's coming over with furniture shit. that's why I'm mad as hell rn. hhhh this too will pass. #unpleasantly. but it'll pass nonetheless.

[witchofthescions]

A man's memories can't outlive him.

Myste stood in front of the mass of formless aether. Their destination was so close, so damn close...

"He could have made it—he should have made it!" Myste said. "How cruel the gods to tempt us with this promise of redemption!"

Ernastral approached him, watching as he hung his head again.

"We... We did not fail," Myste said, his body shaking with barely-contained frustration. "They failed us... they failed us! They... we... I..."

She laid a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump and turn to her. The simmering rage behind his eyes subsided, replaced with ever-familiar sorrow.

"Forgive me... forgive me. My failure is my own. I had my chance, and I squandered it." He gestured to the ball of aether. "Reclaim that which was yours."

With the simple slash of Souleater, the aether flowed back into her crystal. Whispers of memories, of regrets unspoken and lives left unfulfilled, came with it.

"It is not finished," Myste said. "Not yet. You will come and pray with me."

They bowed their heads at the makeshift monument, saying prayers for those who had come before.

"...What good are prayers to the dead. They have not ears to listen. Nor eyes to see or hearts to console. Naught remains of them save fleeting recollections soon lost to time and to the abyss..."

"Prayers are for the living," Ernastral said. "So we don't forget."

Myste shook his head. "But soon enough those names and faces are consigned to oblivion. The passage of time takes our memories, until death claims us and erases whatever was left. Is there no truth but this, that all men must die?"

Ernastral bowed her head again.

"Is this our world to suffer, or to shape?"

One day, all of the farmers that came to Erna, Gohnoh'a, and Yugiri's aid would be gone. Their deeds meriting only a footnote in a history text, the details of their lives only worth a mention in the context of why they rose up against the Empire. Despite it all, they chose to rise up. They chose to give themselves another chance.

"Life is what you make of it," Ernastral said. "To suffer or shape the world is a choice that comes down to people to make on their own."

She got to her feet and dusted off her knees.

"And I've chosen to shape it."

Myste studied her for a moment longer, before turning away. "But we cannot save everyone, can we? Sometimes, it is all we can do to save ourselves."

Ernastral glanced away. Her mind drifted to the broken shield propped up against a lone grave overlooking the city of Ishgard. The distraught look on Lenar's face as he felt the life of someone he loved slipping through his fingers like so much water.

She was the one who tried to warn Lenar away from bringing back the dead just for a talk. In the end, she didn't stop him.

Perhaps that's where the idea for this whole charade came from. The dead are forever beyond our reach... or are they?

"Thancred will not always be there to save us if we get in over our heads, much as we wish it to be true. There will not always be a band of farmers ready to raise up arms in our defense. Zenos might tire of our lackluster strength and decide we aren't worth the 'hunt' anymore." Myste sighed, glancing down at his hands. "Does any of it even matter? What, if aught, have we wrought by our own hands?"

She struggled to come up with something.

"One last time," Myste said. "I gave you my word, and I mean to keep it."

Myste muses on the possibility of a world where time and death hold no power over us. A world you could share. You need only ask.

But we know better. After all, we were the ones who warned Lenar against it.

She will implore you to see reason, to seek solace in the fiction. And when you refuse, she will have no recourse but one. As I did not.

Be ready.

#the unending journey (drabbles) #born in blood (stormblood) #Darkest Defender (Dark Knight)

[imagine-loki]

TITLE: The Powers That Be CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Thirty-Three

AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki discovering a hidden mutant when he realises they are at risk of being found by S.H.I.E.L.D. who experiments on mutants, he is the one to help them.

RATING: Teen and Up

"What?" Loki could not hide his shock.

"Is this good or bad?" Alexia looked at him fearfully.

"That is highly debatable. What is your opinion on living another four thousand or so more years?"

"WHAT!"

"That apple." He pointed to the inconspicuous fruit in her hand, or what would be inconspicuous were it not for the fact it was gold. "Is from Idunn's garden, and grants the eater a lifespan as expansive as ours. How do you think we live so long?"

"I never thought to ask," she answered. "So, if I eat this, I will outlive everyone I know by thousands of years?"

"Well, the Midgardian people you knew, yes. But Thor and I have somewhat similar life spans to what you will have, so as long as we are not killed by other methods, you should not outlive us." Loki explained, noting the sadness on her face.

Alexia looked at the golden fruit, half wanting to throw it into the vast expanse of water that separated the land she now called home from the Bifrost. "I'm not sure."

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure I want to live that long."

"You may actually get to wield fire if you live that long." Loki shrugged.

"I'm not really too concerned about that, to be honest. I will have to witness Earth change, see everyone I ever knew die and know I will outlive them all for so long."

Loki folded his arms, "You know, most mortals wish for a life as long as ours, but of course, the irony of ironies, you do not want it and yet you are the one offered such a gift."

"Calling it a gift is debatable, to some that could be seen as a terrible sentence." she sighed. "I need to think this over more, could you mind this for me?" she extended the hand that held the apple to him.

"You want me to mind that for you?" He eyed her in disbelief. "You are aware those are harder to come by than that metal the Soldier has in his shield."

Alexia looked at the apple again. "Then definitely take it, I don't want to care for it until I decide what I am doing." She as good as thrust it into his hands. "Take it."

"You do realise Odin will lose what of his mind he has if he knew you even entertained the idea of me caretaking one of these apples. I could use it as a bargaining chip with some terrible being."

Alexia looked him in the eye. "Are you going to?"

Loki looked at her and sighed. "No."

"I trust you Loki." That caused him to frown. "I know you think I am mad because I am not just wolfing it down, but I'm not sure I can take four thousand years of the shit I have had to deal with recently with dirty old men wanting me to pop out kids like sneezes for a substantial portion of that length of time."

"They all have less than a thousand years left in them." Loki shrugged dismissively.

"That is terrifying, you have no idea what a thousand years is to someone from my world, I mean, we don't tend to make one hundred."

"It is an awfully pathetic lifespan it must be noted."

"Just give me some time to think about it, I will find you later."

"There is a time limit on this thinking?"

"Yes, apparently I have today to think about it, or else the apple has to be given back." she shrugged.

"Fair enough, just remember, if you take it, you will get out of the Mjötuðr, if that will alter your decision."

"How is that?"

"The apple sends you into a sleep for a week, somewhat like Odinsleep, you can hear everything in your surrounds, but your body must remain still so to be viable with the changes that give one a longer life, everything within you will be forced to slow down, your organs will have to alter and adapt, so you need to be in a state of stasis for that to occur."

"So I just stay unconscious for a week?"

"Yes. Do not fret, you will be heavily guarded, I can assure you."

Alexia bit her lip and nodded slightly. "Well, I better go think this through," she stated, walking off, deep in thought. Loki tossing the apple in his hand as he turned and went towards his rooms, wondering how long she would take to decide.

*

Alexia looked at the letters in her hands, she had written them because she knew there was a chance that Thor would be gone back to Earth before she woke again. This time, she did write one to Phil, telling him what she was doing, and explaining her reasons. In truth, she had no idea why she felt she had to explain it to him, but did so anyway. It was simple, she could end droughts, prevent floods, eradicate hurricanes and tornadoes; there was no telling if, much less when one with such a power would ever exist again, so if there was a way to try and prolong her ability to help others, she wanted to take it.

"Your reasons are honourable, to say the least." Diarmaid commended when he had come across her in the gardens and she had told him her thoughts. "Not many would be so selfless."

"I'm scared, though."

"You are seldom led by fear these days, what causes it now?" He asked, curious as to her answer.

"I will have to mourn their deaths, every last one of them, I will have to know that they are aging while I will look exactly the same for the rest of their lives." She explained, biting her lip as her nose flared, trying hard to keep in her tears.

The elf sighed. "But you are younger than them all regardless, you would have most likely outlived them all anyway."

"Every last human on Earth that is alive today will be dead before I age any bit."

"Yes." The elf conceded. "That is true, and I can comprehend that that is a daunting thing for you, but you cannot lose sight of how many people, in all the realms, whose lives you will better in four thousand years rather than a mere fifty."

Taking a deep breath, Alexia nodded her head. "You're right, this isn't about me," she repeated again. "I need to speak with Loki before I do this, though."

"I can get him for you if you wish." Diarmaid offered; she nodded, looking ahead slightly scared. "I will do so immediately, go to your rooms, it will be best for you to be in them as the apple takes effect." Nodding again, Alexia did as she was requested.

*

Diarmaid walked through the halls with long elegant strides, making his way quickly to where he assumed Loki could be. He found him sitting on a balcony, deep in thought, just as he was about to approach the prince, however, he noticed Odin come up to him.

"What are you doing with that apple?" The old king demanded.

"Alexia gave it to me for safe keeping." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"That girl puts too much fate in you, that is her greatest downfall."

"And you never put enough, that could very well be yours."

"Convince her to take it."

"Why, why should I get her to do anything for you?"

"You know this is nothing to do with me, she needs to take it, she is too powerful to whither way to nothing at the rate Midgardians do," he growled. "She can help all the realms, given time."

"She could aid or annihilate them all right now should she choose." Loki scoffed, "She is powerful beyond all measure."

"Yet she chooses to not even truly try."

"You are a fool old man, even with two eyes in that thick skull of yours you would fail to see that she will take the apple, she just needs to understand her own reasons and her thoughts beforehand, I expect she is merely taking time to ready herself for the process and also take time to thank whatever Gods she may believe in that she will have to miss the Mjötuðr because of it, I am envious of her it must be said."

"You are not as humorous as you think yourself to be Loki," Odin growled.

"That is debatable, it is well known you have no sense of humour, so your opinion matters little on the subject." Loki shrugged. It was then that he noticed Diarmaid standing nearby and rose to his feet, causing Odin to turn and look at the elf also.

"She has called to speak with you, my prince." he bowed. "She is ready."

Loki nodded and looked to Odin, a smug look of 'I told you so' written on his features. Odin was tempted to snap something back at him, but with Alexia willing to take the apple, he was more concerned with other matters. "I will arrange Einherjar that will defend her in her rest immediately, do not let her eat it until it is known to you that they are present outside her rooms." He ordered.

"Place two inside also, you know that if any find out about this, they could use it to come retrieve her. She will be too easily harmed or moved once she bites it." Loki stated, going to pass Diarmaid. "What is her humour?"

"Nervous and anxious; the mortality of those she will be leaving behind is concerning her, but she is thinking of the greater good, I believe her to be confident in her decision." The elf answered, with a nod of comprehension, Loki left, leaving the older beings to simply watch him leave.

"That alliance concerns me greatly." Odin voiced.

"That alliance will either be the greatest pairing to ever grace the realms, or it will be the ending of us all, we can only pray for the former." the elf responded. "It is dependent on whether Prince Loki can control his resentment and continue to assist her."

"What is it that she is requesting his presence alone for?" Odin half demanded.

"I cannot fathom, it could be anything from asking the prince to remain with her as she eats the apple to forbidding his presence as she sleeps, only time will tell." The elf answered. "All I know is that once this is done, she will be one of the greatest Goddesses the realms will ever witness. All that remains is to see if Prince Loki corrupts her, or if she will continue to corrupt the darkness within him."

Odin looked at the elf curiously, not entirely sure what it was that Diarmaid was saying.

*

"You called?" Loki grinned widely as he entered her room, having just knocked on the door once before opening it.

"Loki." The sensation of someone truly being delighted to see him felt peculiar to the dark prince. "I need you here."

"I have the apple." He reached out to give her the fruit. "You are not to eat until your Einherjar arrive, wear comfortable attire and make sure you are comfortable." He instructed.

"Are you going to abandon me?" she asked meekly.

Loki frowned at her blatant concern and odd demeanour. "Those taking apples tend to wish to be alone doing so."

"Please don't go," she begged. "I don't want to be alone, not when I will be so weak."

Loki's brows furrowed more, but seeing the genuine fear in her eyes, he nodded and sat nearby. "Now do as I instructed and get comfortable, the Einherjar will be here in a few moments, the sooner you start the process, the sooner in is over." Alexia left the room for a few moments. While she was gone, there was a knock on the door, which Loki answered, her maids having been dismissed considering what was to take place. On the other side stood Diarmaid and four guards, two standing sentry while two more made to enter with him.

"Is she ready?" The elf asked

"She is preparing."

"More Einherjar will be sent when she is asleep, the Allfather thinks sending too many now would worry her."

"I think he actually got something right for a change. Dare I ask why you are here?"

"The Allfather thought it best that I preside over this, ensuring she eats it all. Though I assume that she requested your presence." Loki nodded. "I will remain here while she goes into her bed quarters then, just in case."

"Good."

Loki was going to expand on his answer when Alexia stood in the doors that divided her rooms looking sheepish. "Okay, I'm ready." she sighed. Noticing Diarmaid and the guards, she seemed a little antsy.

"No time like the present." Loki started towards her, taking the apple, which he had wrapped in a handkerchief out as he did so. The Einherjar following him.

"Are they going to be in the room too?" She asked, pointing to the guards.

"Yes, they will remain for the entire time you are asleep, well they will alter with their shifts, but you will be heavily protected throughout the process," Loki explained, trying to sooth her.

"Okay." She nodded. "Right, so what do I do?"

"Either sit on the window seat and eat it or go to the bed, you will feel very sleepy as soon as you finish it, allow the sleep to take you, do not fight it, is that clear?" Alexia began to panic, thinking back to when she had been captured by S.H.I.E.L.D. and their scientists had drugged her to sleep, thinking of how helpless she had been, her breathing increased immediately. "Lexi, it will be alright, I promise, no one will touch you to harm you as you sleep, they will only touch you to make you more comfortable, maids to fluff your pillows and such."

Alexia giggled. "It's weird to hear you say the word fluff."

Loki's brow arched. "Very mature." she only giggled again. "Now, enough procrastinating, and begin."

Alexia went to the window seat she always found so comfortable and looked at the apple in her hand before looking out the window. "Make sure that if I don't wake for the feast and if Thor is leaving before I do, that he brings those letters with him, okay?" She indicated to the sealed envelopes on her desk.

Loki walked over and took them in hand. "I promise." He smiled putting them into the leather coat.

Sighing, she looked at the apple again and bit into it, grimacing at the taste. "It's bitter."

"You will adapt to the taste."

"Hopefully not, I don’t plan on doing this too often" She smiled back, taking another bite. "Will I look different when I wake?"

"What do you think that thing does, you are still you, simply with a slower aging process." Loki scoffed, seemingly satisfied, she continued to eat. He watched her bite into the apple and swallow each bite. "You are eating it very slowly."

"You're just used to eating around Thor, not everyone throws their food down their throats whole."

Loki chuckled, "That is a fair argument."

"This reminds me of the story of Snow White."

"I am not familiar with it."

"Well, she..." Alexia yawned, suddenly feeling exhausted, looking down, she realised there was only one last bite left. Forgetting she was about to tell Loki the premise of the fairy tale, she brought the apple to her lips again and looked at him, the God giving her an encouraging nod as she bit in one last time. The last bite took her the longest to finish but she did it and nestled into the cushions she had placed on the seat, her eyes becoming heavy.

Knowing she would fall asleep in moments, Loki walked over to her. Sure enough, her eyes were beginning to flutter closed. "Don't fight it, just rest." He reiterated.

"Loki," her voice was a mere whisper. "Don't leave me."

"I will not."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He swore, and with that, she fell into unconsciousness. Scooping her into his arms, he brought her to the bed, and placed her on it, then pulled a blanket over her. He turned to the guards, who were silently watching the kindness the usually cantankerous and morose God was bestowing on a Midgardian, a race he seemed to hold in contempt. "Get the rest of the Einherjar positioned, and one of you tell Odin that it is done." Nodding, the closer Einherjar to the door did as commanded.

A moment later, Diarmaid entered the room. "There is nothing to do now but wait."

"She requested I remain."

"And will you?" Diarmaid asked, somewhat startled.

"Yes." Loki made to the window seat she had eaten the apple in. “I promised I would.”

#Loki #other #submission #submitted fic #the powers that be #chapter 33 #wolfpawn #mutant #hidden #discovering #risk #experiment #help

[maycee-o-blog]

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#get rid of mice