#I miss you caffeine I do

[keeps-ache]

i don't wanna take over the world, it sounds like a lot. but you know, laying siege to a golf course sounds really nice sometimes

#just me hi #i'm giggling thinking about it hfbvhs #you can use the sandbanks for cover and if you plan far enough ahead you can start farming around those little ponds #and you can steal golf balls :D and use them as currency ?? or just collect them :3 #and you could use the tennis ball guns to shoot the balls at people of course!! and you're supplied with sticks when you get there !! free #weaponry !! :D #and if you can hold out for long enough you could start planting rose and blackberry bushes in places they wouldn't look #why? bc roses Always Come Back #and blackberries will take a minute but who can get mad at a blackberry bush !! nature's surprise :D #oh and of course you could have a noble steed too (golf cart) !! :DD #and you could make the building a castle #and make a little gnome town in the fields once the battle is over #OH you could build a miniature golf in and around the town too :D for the funsies #/places are very cool i like places #could some be used better? oh yea for sure #i have dreams for abandoned malls hfvbs - some of my favorite places ever #that's one big odd thing i want. to have a mall to live in hfhs :3 #is it a lot of space ? ye. but it's also SOO much space.. the possibilities !! #//anyway i Need to go for a walk in a city sometime soon lol #i miss the riverwalk aaa #GASP campus martius during the winter. my dearest #i didn't realize the threshold for being a city was so low lmao ?? like man these are just big towns what is this hfvbsh #//but aside from the city pining MAN #i got to drive earlier today ('got to' they put me in the seat and it wasn't very fun hfvbshf) and oooohhh #you know that feeling on a roadtrip when it's all worth it for just a little while.maybe when you broke over the top of a hill or looked up #from whatever you were doing to find a storm ahead and the rear lights of the cars seemed to blink in agreement with how gorgeous it all is #just that hfbsh :3 #i like places a lot. sobs [<- crying candy hearts] #//okey i'm goin to go do my somethings now hfvhs :3 :D #music and caffeine are SO good ehehhehghhg [slinkies away so fast]

[lordartsy]

Octokuber, day 6 - Kaiju

(pulls up a chair) This is a Final Wars propaganda post.

It is 125 minutes of pure nonsense. It is a cinematic boss rush. It is wrestling if all the matches were marinated in nuclear waste and fed to aliens. They bought the rights to Zilla just to wreck him to kingdom come. Actually, Godzilla bodies all the kaiju in this movie so hard that they're never seen again. The chicken guy I loved enough to draw and put here? He's there for like five minutes and he gets blown up. The soundtrack is unironically great. Take everything left from me. All. To. Blame.

#tokusatsu #octokuber 2023 #godzilla #gojira #godzilla final wars #gigan #i think i went crazy drawing this #getting the forms down was easy enough but the texturing? dude #like i just got home from a long day ive had a little too much caffeine and im supposed to draw fanart for this crazy shit movie #i forgot how perspective in coloring works i cant do this anymore #gigan please come back i miss you #i coulda drawn kamata-kun for this day and give myself an excuse to rewatch shin godzilla #but no. shin is a great movie. final wars is perfect #i remember hearing someone say its the g gundam of godzilla and yeah it tracks

[bones-n-bookles]

People are being so nice to me the past few days and I am so happy <3

#my coworker gave me free caffeine and my bestie who isnt very verbally affectionate told me she loves me #and the guy who has Torch's brother and grandmom said Torch is lucky to have me as his owner #and i got some very sweet birthday messages #and people are complimenting my art #hello serotonin i missed you #especially bc like. directly before thursday i was doing AWFUL #and thursday was the 10 month mark of losing Kit so i was lowkey terrified to wake up and exist on thursday #anyways i love you friends i love you coworkers i love you internet people #idle rambling

[im2tired4usernames]

Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die

#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid #she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds #ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back #she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german #boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk #is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how #SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on #his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT #she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches #with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE #there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but #THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS #she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry #in the disguise of helping clean house #while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought #my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away' #my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died #hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life #WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON #SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD #SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE #OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO #OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE #THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING #UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO #be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW #I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE #FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN #SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME

[heartsbreaking]

had the bright idea to look up my own oc in the tags and have been bombarded by my old posts

so asking for a friend obv what's the statute of limitations on finding new mains for important dynamics in your muses life (siblings, lovers) after previous muns left the site??

#i miss alice and liam okay #less serious because i do still have one main for her brother who i would lay my life down for blake if you see this ily so much #but also alice and isaac dynamics miss those too #*[ OOC ] . . . a treatise on the effects of caffeine

[akkivee]

you know what i think is kinda neat lol??? the way kuukou has a preference for green tea, jyushi only drinks black tea and hitoya is a coffee connoisseur lmao

#vee queued to fill the void #this is brought to you by my intense desire to drink earl grey tea and chai I MISS!!!!! EARL GREY AND CHAI #i stopped drinking black teas due to a health issue and tho i’m cool to drink them again i’ve been hesitant to do so #*crying* but i miss my black teas so much 😭😭😭😭😭 the flavours the caffeine high i’m sorry it’s my drug #and you know who would UNDERSTAND me??????????? jyushi would get me he always does!!!!!!!!! #and then i recalled kuukou’s taste for green tea and hitoya’s for coffee and thus this post happened lmao #lol y’all know how samatoki➡️ichiro from the tdd soul swap drank some coffee and then he couldn’t go to sleep because of the caffeine high? #(samatoki juto hitoya coffee date event WHEN arb pls feed my crops) #kuukou would probably be a menace times 💯 if he had hitoya’s coffee lol can you imagine caffeinated kuukou lmao #like how wild hirono kuukou gets is probably caffeinated kuukou LOL #i had jitters the first time i drank coffee lol and tho i never experienced a caffeine crash #i can see kuukou being a generally annoying fck and sprawling himself over jyushi and hitoya just to be a nuisance #but winds up passing out IMMEDIATELY lmao #i’m sure he wouldn’t wake up with a caffeine withdrawal headache lol #but i bet he wouldn’t appreciate feeling like he’s on 1000 for hours like that lol #c: kuukou👑 #c: jyushi #c: hitoya

[toytulini]

god that "morning people are an oppressive class" post annoys me in some way i cant. quite. ugh

#toy txt post #it doesnt feel quite right to me........... #maybe im just a Morning Person. lol. lmao even #idk how much that is true vs in high school i felt very much like a morning person bc #i was taking my adderall with coffee and then it would all wear off right at the end of the day and id crash soooo hard and have like. #anxiety attacks every night and just be generally overstimulated and irritable as hell #which is mostly managed now by me trying to be smarter about caffeine consumption (amount + when) and on a lower dose of adderall #but it does feel like a lot of that shit mentioned would be adequately covered by like. being able to take time off work to go to the #doctor etc. idk #im half joking these days when i ID as a morning person but legally none of you are allowed to get up my ass about it🔪 #bc of the nocturnal bullshit i pulled on second shift for like 3yrs after everything around me decided to start closing early after the #pandemic hit even tho theyve re lifted every other miniscule precaution they ever enforced #probably bc no one wants to work night shift at the grocery store for like 12$ an hour. fucking offer better pay idiots #god even when i was a package handler working the super inconvenient hours of 3am-like. 9. 10am(inconvenient my ass that was ideal hours.) #the main reasons ppl left for other jobs: hours suck and they got offered better pay. they cant adjust the hours. so they shouldve #increased the pay to retain. and maybe have more structured start and end times that were less up in the air #like all the drivers leave at 9am so if theres anything left on the truck thatll be for tomorrow. since that fuckin happened anyway. idk. #honestly wouldve been more important to me to have consistent start times cos thats one of the things that pissed me off about that job was #like youd go in and before you left youd have to ask what the start time would be tomorrow cos they kept jumping all over the place by like #15min increments and like its once thing to do it on occasion to try to deal with like Bad Weather but it was like fucking Daily #and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard. but sometimes they wouldnt. and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard #and leave it up there forget to erase it and it would still be there but they told you as you walked out actually its not 4:30 tmrrw its 3 #idk. i know the main real reason i miss it is cause it was part time and the day ended at like 9am usually

[capricioussun]

Ok so it turns out that maybe it's not just that I was sick and kinda fuzzy but I think the burn out finally won gang

#I basically get up to walk and then lie down again. I had to watch the fnaf movie in two parts bc I had to go lie down (I was sitting #comfortably at my desk) #like. I think I really overdid it last month bc of all the dr appointments and it finally caught up to me #I'm hoping it eases up in a few days. at least enough I can chip away at drawings bc I miss it ;; #I'm just too tired to do it. I am soo tired man #I might also try to do a caffeine detox. see if that helps a little (sometimes it does) #sunny with clouds #or maybe it is the sickness and now the antibiotic is also making me exhausted?? I hope so #idk #if you're reading this uh don't forget to hydrate n take care of yourself and rest when you need to 💙

[whoregaylorenzo]

.

#I've spent more time sick than healthy this summer so far...bc one I insisted on not missing out on any of my vacations to get better and #second it seems every time it is too fucking hot to get any rest at all #my body is running almost exclusively on caffeine and tears at this point lol #let's not talk about my mental state lmao #sth sth if ur supposed to know me so well how do you not see that I'm falling apart... #do u even know what drives me...what occupies my thoughts....do I even know.....am I supposed to know what I'm doing...how do ppl do this #don't mind me I'm just floating around aimlessly inside my brain and don't know how to get out #m reading queen fanfic is there anything better to feel melancholic and untethered? I think not

[yardsards]

every couple of months i rediscover exactly how much i love tea and go through a period of almost a week wherein i drink multiple mugs a day of it, only to forget again after that

#eliot posts #i love Warm Beveridge #and i have a big stash of tasty flavoured teas and herbal teas/tisanes #but also sometimes just a big rich mug of black tea is the best #i tend to like my black tea quite bittersweet #like super duper strong and a bit oversteeped (and no milk. milk makes it bland and sad) #but with a good amount of sugar #like 3 or 4 cubes of it #in a big ole 16 ounce mug not a lil teacup mind you. i think that much in a teacup would kill me dead. but still quite sweet. #i liked it even sweeter than that as a child (but just as strong and bitter) #prolly should've suspected i had adhd when sometimes mugs of fully caffeinated black tea helped me sleep #i had like. chronic sore throats/tonsilitis for a few years as a child #and my mother's go-to home remedy for sore throats was tea with honey and some toast #which i found to be absolutely delicious #(i liked to sometimes dip my toast in my tea tho and looking back ew i do not think i would like doing that now) #sonetimes i'd complain abt my throat even when it wasn't bothering me much bc i wanted The Tasty Snack at night #tho when i was like halfway through elementary school she showed me how to make it myself so i would quit asking her #and on one hand it was nice that i could have it without having to ask #and making it gave me an excuse to go downstairs after my bed time instead of being trapped in my room w my insomnia #but also i remember missing the feeling of being taken care of (which. being taken care of was a rare commodity in that house)

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Drank a monster for the first time in a week after overdoing it last week and im flapping my hands so hard I may clip through spacetime

Or possibly break my wrists

We'll see what comes first

#i needed energy to Do Things todau #it was effective #i got almost everything on my list done #i just need to put my laundry away #unfortunately i Need To Stim now #im also hungry #but i need to take a shower first cuz SWEATY #my hand is making a lovely snapping noise #im thinking no tea for tonight #adding more caffeine onto this probably isnt a good idea #i miss the days when caffeine made me sleepy #im going to be sore tomorrow i moved heavy things up the stairs #i would like to get stronger faster but unfortunately you cant rush these things #i would like instant muscles please #i can only do push ups off the counter without pain for now #and i start to wear out after 10 #WANNA BE STROMG #actually autistic

[hairenya]

My dad, watching me clean my room after a brief nap at 10 at night after a long day, unknowingly about to say the funniest thing I’ve ever heard: are you sure your prescription is for adderall and not amphetamines?

#SIR. BUDDY. I have some disturbing news for you?? #he started talking about how much speed he used to do back in the day #and I’m just like trying to add up and compare the milligrams. #but of course he can’t remember what the “dosage he did was #we buy generic and he literally picks them up for me so idk how he missed that they were the same thing? #it literally says amphetamine salts and dextroamphatemine on the labels respectively #I had told him how rough a day it was that I had to take a full dose of my afternoon meds instead of my usual half dose #and 2 otc caffeine tablets #I s2g idk how I ended up with such a high iq #jlktalks. #drug tw I guess

[sagittariangirl27]

#this really just happened #I have been obsessed with my purpose #so I decided if I show up as her everyday #something has to happen #I will see how that goes lol #I quit vaping and energy drinks #kind of caffeine in general but I am not insane #my body is in the phase where junk food tastes gross #and I basically live on fruit #but never a whole bag of oranges again #speaking of which I took a magnesium bath #and purged a burger from the arcade I took my kids to #my body was like what the fuck do you think you are doing right now #but I've been having intense spiritual experiences #that I haven't talked about yet #hydration and sleep are still things I'm working on #but when I'm up all night meditating and removing trauma from my body #I don't think I could ever get enough sleep or water right now #I can't explain the process my body has gone through #and if I could most people wouldn't believe me #I'm really lucky they do music a lot #but I'm also crying all the damn time happy sad all of the things #like you did not just say that to me right now lol #I'm leaving soon to go on an adventure #I'm not sure exactly where yet #but all I know is that I am in the antsy stage of waiting #to see him and jump on him because I miss him #I don't mean that how it sounded but that too #I think he will be proud of me

[boyywithluv]

.

#i miss making things #i miss not hating everything i try to make #i miss having energy to make at all #none of my tatics for handling my adhd are working anymore #caffeine and edibles don't make it so i can do things anymore #idk what to do #i would cry but i cannot remember the last time i actually got any tears to come out #it feels like my brain is completely numb #i just want to not be broken anymore im so tired of this #im annoying the fuck out of everyone who knows me bc they cant help and all i do is fucking complain #i hate feeling like this #i hate botheirng everyone bc i cant get my shit together #i hate how i keep putting everything off as muxh as possible bc i just CANT do anything #i tried to draw and i feel so frustrated i want to hurt myself so you know. #its going great lol #its literally been a year since i last wrote anything #it makes me sick. i feel sad. #why did any of this have to happen. #why does it always happen when i feel like im finally kinda happy #i hate this #i Hate that i can't be normal i hate that i can't like anything normal #i hate knowing im a disappointment. #i really want to dissappear. or just sleep for a few years. or forever. i don't care at this point i just want to not feel like THIS anymore

[keeps-ache]

MUSIC. [explodes]

#just me hi #there are so many emotions that can make one Explode but ouhhhhghghghghghghg !!!! #good explosion !!! everyone within 300 square miles will be coated in glitter!!! watch me !! #running in circles like a mouse on caffeine ouhuhh #i can be calm !! and normal about noises !! but i won't be !! because A !! #!!! #// OTHER things anyway lol! :> #i think i wanna do artfight this year.. ? #i didn't last year because i am horribly terribly awfully shy and slightly anxious #i Still Am but i'm gonna try artfght this year lol :D emphasis on Try! there Will be an Attempt ! #//i also ended up falling asleep instead of spinning the wheel hvbfshfj Lol #but i Did start writing another thing so :D #i've started like 4-6 new written stories and am not committing to ANY of them lolll #mostly cuz i'm trying to just get back into writing and if i Commit then i start to dislike it #which is ridiculous !! if you liked it enough to say 'i'll stick to it' why are you spinning around and going the other way?? silly-silly!! #not sure how to get myself to stick to anything though #still a hit-or-miss there! i'm mostly missing but i guess that's the fun part huh? experimentation !! :D #//anyway relevant to artfght i was trying to make a ref earlier and ouhh boy did That Not Happen #//OH lemme tell you about the !! i've been picking up reading again which is So Much Fun !!! :DDD #i've missed reading but like in the way you don't know What you're missing #and like !! my beloved has returned home lol :D #i forget why i stopped but ouhh #so far i've reread the soc duology‚ farewell my lovely‚ reread the man who was thursday‚ working on the big sleep now :> #i really like detective stories fhvshs #i dunno why either lol #i think it's cuz one of the first books i got to pick out was sherlock holmes? it really seared itself into my brain hvhfdh #i've gotta burn through some more tho!! just wish i had the physical books‚ it kinda adds something to reading ykno? hfvh #but pdfs are fine :) i guess i'll have stuff to collect in the future lol :D #//oops my tags might get cut [wailing]

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I did love streaming when I did (though god is masking exhausting) but I’ve been so busy that I haven’t streamed in Months. The thing that would bring me back though is in fact Potion Permit. I started my save on stream and it feels wrong to not stream that save so I just haven’t played. And I really really loved that game (still waiting for Helene dating option) so like who knows I may very well pick up streaming for the tail end of the semester

#it would probably be on Tuesdays. like. late late Tuesdays #like starting after midnight late #my girlfriend has a very healthy sleep schedule and I definitely don’t but I am currently on her sleep schedule #very strange to rarely see 1am #I’ve been seeing a lot of 9 and 10 ams #so like. i don’t particularly wanna break that. but I don’t think it’d kill me to be up late one night a week #fun fact! she follows my tumblr now #which. is not something I ever thought I’d ever allow in my lifetime #turns out I love her and want her around more than I want to project a perfect version of me to her #which is also something that I never thought I’d be able to do. who knew I would be this happy ever! #she no longer looks like a bot lol #there are 3 irl friends I have here. hello all #two of them I see pretty much exclusively online unless I make a 4hr trip either plane or car #i think o actually do really miss streaming #that or I’m sitting at my desk caffeinated which is what I always did for streams lol #i did love streaming a lot. but I always felt tired when I did. i have since figured out I was masking to a very high degree #i have rbf. and I don’t necessarily show facial expressions. so trying to make myself look entertaining is a little tiring #but I did have fun #also I have no wifi at all rn in this entire building. so. brave of me to assume that’ll get fixed #but if you want to see me stream again lmk if u wanna see anything in particular #I don’t know that I actually will but it’s a faint hope Yknow? #soup talks