#I love her but fuck this wedding bullshit I have to pay 300$ for hair and makeup

[we-re-always-alright]

I have a wedding I’m in tomorrow and the day starts at 5:15 (ending at midnight at a minimum) but I got an exception to arrive between 7:30 and 8:00 because I live 30-40 minutes away

#the ceremony is going to be 1.5-2 hours #I don’t think there’s lunch #just bagels while we’re getting ready #my goal is to survive #and I have a car coming to pick me up at midnight so I don’t get sucked into: #’oh but we’re having crave cases delivered at 1:30!!!!’ #(it also doesn’t hurt that I’m a vegetarian lol) #I’ve already committed like 2k and over 40 hours to this wedding #I cannot do more on MY holiday weekend and first break in MONTHS #I love her but fuck this wedding bullshit I have to pay 300$ for hair and makeup #thoughts? thoughts

[hethrewmyheartinthecut]

Esme x Reader

@peakystitches​ said:

can you please ship me with someone omg?? i'll give you freedom to choose WHOEVER ok, i trust you <3 ok so; I'm a stubborn, humoristic 19-year-old with a passion for art and music. i LOVE nature aka i live on the countryside/seaside of norway so i have no choice, aand i am v talkative and i love discussing things like history, literature and politics

(Note: this is weirdly lopsided and disproportionate and I’m just so sorry tbh it’s 90% intro and 10% romance and I am a MESS forgive me)

You knew Esme since you both were tiny, though not particularly well. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that you knew of her. Your family was among the 300 that lived in close-knit community of the Black Patch under the rule of Esau Smith, and Esme’s family was constantly traveling, but sometimes they’d settle temporarily in the Black Patch if they were down on their luck, or during the winter, when times were particularly hard. And besides that, there were always fairs, and weddings, and the massive unbroken chain of Romani gossip connecting vardos all over the country. So even if her curly hair and lovely face were mostly a blur in your memory, by fifteen you knew more or less everything about her, including that she’d beaten Ronnie Smits in a horserace, and that she was rumored to always have a knife in her pocket, and that she’d sworn she would never marry. That last fact was interesting, but not enough to make you seek her out.

After all, you were pretty busy in your early teenage years. You felt between the urge to ramble about, exploring the deeper corners of the park and paddling through the canals beyond. You got your dress torn up by black briars, your hair cut short to prevent it tangling in low-hanging branches, your mother worried almost all the time. But it was a good life.

At around thirteen, though, you happened across a copy of A Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, by pure chance, having traded it for a hair ribbon you know would be wasted on you. Which pretty much changed your entire existence. You became obsessed with the book, the way it let you into worlds you’d never been to before, the feeling of freedom that came with that. Before that book, you felt like there was nothing outside the Black Patch you much cared to know about--cities were ugly and dirty and full of gadjes that couldn’t cook to save their lives--but fuck, cities had books.

After that, it was only a matter of time and much pleading before Esau finally let you ride along with him to oversee the handling of Letty Smits’s court case. You behaved so well--suspiciously well, actually--that he let you come with him on other errands after that, legal arguments mostly, but sometimes dealing with other business, too. You were always so quiet and so grateful that he either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the two things that comprised your city education: books and rage.

Books, because you devoured every shelf in the library like it was your second job, faking a name and address easy to get your card, becoming friends with all the librarians. Rage, because the court cases were usually bullshit, and built on the kind of witnesses you wouldn’t trust to watch a good dog, much less trust with the five years in the life of a person getting locked up. Rage also because no matter how good Esau was as a horse dealer, he never got the respect he deserved from the toffs that bought the animals he’d taken such care with. And when Esau died in 1901, with you at the age of sixteen, those two things combined in one of the most potent events of your life: the summer election of his successor.

The camp swelled to almost twice its normal size with visitors, mostly there to mourn Esau’s passing, pay their respects, and attend the funeral, but also there to observe the rise to power of whoever would replace him. Esme’s family, the Lees, were among them.

Almost immediately, you clashed over who should get to vote on Esau’s successor. At first, it was just a cluster of you younger ones sitting around a fire, shooting the shit about who got married, who was going to get married, etc. But then the matter of the election came up, and it was mostly you arguing with Aishe that only permanent dwellers should get the vote, Esme sitting back and saying nothing. At the last minute, her aunt called her away, and she sauntered off, though not before giving a parting shot, exquisitely articulate, that made your ears burn. It settled the debate for the night.

The next morning, you got up ready to fight her. Not with fists, of course, but she was wrong. Why should someone who only came by the Patch once every two years get as much of a say in its future as someone who lived and died by its very existence? And why should she care? She’d said only last year that France was better, that we’d all be better off uprooting and crossing the Channel to a better life, that--

“Do you want Henty to win or not?” Esme demanded.

“What?” You had built up a rhythm. You had a speech all planned out. This was not in the speech.

“The first Queen of the Black Patch. You can’t deny she’d be good at it. Or are you one of those girls that think women aren’t suited?”

“How the fuck is that relevant?”

“Look around.” Esme gestured. “Those on the Black Patch have a loyalty to her, yes, but they’re also traditionalists.”

“Some of them.”

“Enough of them. And they may well vote for Tobar Mason. He’s kind enough, but he’s too fucking complacent. If there’s a snake in the grass, he’ll not notice until it’s too late. Is that what you want?”

“Visitors are hardly much different,” you manage to say.

“But three dozen of them are direct relations of Henty, and will vote on that alone.”

“The Irish ones.”

“Exactly.”

You both look over the camp, turning the numbers over in your head. Fuck, you didn’t want to say this, but.

“You’re right.”

“I am.” With a smirk, Esme flicked her braid over her shoulder and began to saunter away.

“Wait!” you called after her.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

“Is what it?”

You wanted a round two and that was all.

Later that night, you asked around, and found that Esme was still sticking to the oath that she’d never get married. That was a relief, for reasons you didn’t wish to examine too closely. It made sense that she’d need to warn men off, of course. Who wouldn’t want to marry her? Behind the sharp eyes and even sharper tongue, there was a mind, and of course beyond that, her dark hair seemed to have a life of its own and her body bloomed curves that made you, what was it, envious?

You found ways to be around her as time went on, even though you couldn’t find ways to talk to her properly. You were appalled to find that when you and she did talk, it was in snippets of politics, arguing back and forth like siblings, a tone you couldn’t seem to maneuver your way out of. She had a more agile tongue, but you had a broader base of knowledge. She’d seen more of the world, but you had studied more of it. She had the most luscious dark hair that refused to stay contained and you ran your hand through your own smooth mane if she ever looked at you for too long. And talked faster.

As the votes were announced and Henty made queen, she looked at you, cutting through the crowd, victorious but not smug, smiling like you were in on a joke, and. And you wished the funeral wasn’t already over, wished you had paid more attention to your gossipy aunt, wished you could figure out a way to hold onto her. Perhaps that was why you were the only one that seemed to notice when she slipped away from all the post-election revelry, climbing the shoulder of a high hill even as the drinks still flowed and the music went on. It wasn’t like her at all.

You followed her, of course. It was what you did, what you’d become used to. When you crested the hill, and found her sitting just slightly over the other side, you both had a decent enough view of the campground to the west and stark view of the moonlight getting cut to pieces by a thousand trees, turning the leaf-strewn forest floor into something like lace. The murmur of the river’s dark waters as it cut away to the south, where it would soon rejoin the canals, made the spot seem dangerous, delicious.

“Funny you should find this spot,” you said, and almost winced at yourself. Again, again, the slightly aggressive. For no reason at all. “This is one of my favorite spots, I mean. Just close enough, but nobody will ever think to look up and try to see me.”

“Us.”

“Yes.” You sat down next to her, imitating her hunched pose, hugging your knees. Neither of you were fragile twigs, but the night winds were nothing gentle, either. She moved a little closer to you. You checked yourself halfway to a pointed comment about her lack of a coat and stumbled on something slightly, slightly less prickly.

“What are you doing?”

Her dark eyes continued in their slow sweep across the landscape below. She didn’t speak, and for a moment, you thought she wouldn’t reply. “Remembering it.”

“Why?”

She turned and gave you a sharp look of suspicion. You allowed a gentle curiosity to show on your face, and she subsided. The way the leaves rustled...it was some kind of a softer night. Maybe you were lucky, maybe she was just tired. Her reply was an honest one.

“It’s the only place I’ve ever seen twice from the inside.”

“From the inside?”

“Owning it, having it, belonging to it. Like a home, even if it’s not legally ours.”

“It’s a home.”

She said nothing.

You added, “Yours, if you want it.”

Esme makes a soft sound in reply, and then the night wind sharpens. She shivers. “There was this house in Lichfield...I thought we could stay this time. Dad said he had it all sorted this time. It had a green front door, a stove in the kitchen, and space for horses...Now he says there's another place.”

“A river’s not the same as a stove,” you acknowledged, “but you can come back to it.”

“Yeah.” She seemed satisfied with being understood.

But you weren't satisfied. You picked at the long grass, braided it together with restless fingers, finally lay on your back with a bit of a flop and looked up at the stars. After a moment’s curious look, she followed suit, a stray curl of hair brushing against your shoulder.

“When is the next time I'm going to see you?” you said. Things felt right with her, for the first time, like your cracked the puzzle, and now she was going away. It seemed particularly cruel to have it on the last night, of all times.

“You know it's not up to me.”

“Still. You should come back soon.”

She turned her head to you, pale cheek pillowed on her dark hair. “Okay. Are you going to miss me, or are you going to miss arguing with me?”

“Do I have to choose?”

A smile broke out over her face that made the corners of her eyes crinkle up in real affection. “No.”

You took a long, slow breath. “I'm going to miss you.”

“Okay.” She reached out and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, but didn't draw her hand back, fingertips lingering on your jaw.

“Okay.”

When you kissed her, she smelled like wildflowers and the earth. Her glorious hair was so soft under your hands, and presently her dress was soft underneath you too.

#Esme x Reader #Esme Shelby #ask games #prompts #peakystitches #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #mine

[doedipus]

LP D&D: Your Reward is the Satisfaction of a Job Well Done

Between sessions, Ludovik and Rich’s longstanding rivalry came to a head, and Ludovik decided to leave. Thankfully, the group was able to work things out like adults, and the separation happened pretty cleanly. To this day, I don’t really get what was going on between them, but I guess everything worked itself out in the end, so whatever. I’m just glad the saga didn’t turn into the kind of clusterfuck people on /tg/ like to talk about.

At the beginning of the session, Rap was playing around with a voice changer for whatever reason. Apparently, one of the presets sounded enough like me that nobody could tell the difference. Am I truly a unique person, with my own wants and needs, or am I some sort of construct off an assembly line, an excitation in the Kim field no different than any other? Is there some hidden land of Kims deep in the woods, where we could find solace from the often terrifying and confusing non-Kim world, free to swear like sailors, nurse our wounds, and watch Neil Breen movies long into the night? 

...Uh, that took a weird turn. Content under the break.

Merrow thanks the party for saving his life

Hier is arrested

Graham lays hands on Esmeralda

Nudge nudge, wink wink

Coy attempts to locate the body of the gnoll shaman, but is unable to

Coy retrieves a handful of the coins the sisters use to communicate

Escrima and Graham try and retrieve some lost equipment

The ship and estate are on fire, so the gang decides to bounce

They make it back home without incident

Lucas wants barkeep to get him the strongest drink on the multiverse

Coy goes to say hi to Akim

Akim thinks the explosions are the hypest

Coy wishes him a happy birthday

Akim thinks her hugs are better now

The players think about that too much

Graham hangs out with Frederick, his squire

He breaks the news of Osric’s death

Graham declares himself “duke”

Fred reminds him that “those of the fairer sex” aren’t in the line of succession

Graham suggests they consider his uncle, then

The alcohol is strong, and everyone is completely smashed

Except Coy, since she was away for the first round

“Did I ever tell you about the time I rescued Esmeralda from a dragon?”

Coy orders a round of coffee for the party so they can sober up

And then orders a round for herself

She’s a little buzzed, but not like the others

“Coy, I love you, I don’t care what your hair looks like, I don’t care if you cut your hair, you’re a beautiful butterfly... creature...”

Greg has a personal crisis

He starts his routine in the pond

GregnLucas ERP in the pond

Coy pulls them out so they don’t drown

Connie has an epic battle with the stairs, and loses

The next morning afternoon, the party wakes up, and is hungover

Except Graham, because paladin or something

Thankfully, Rocky keeps potions of restoration in the attic

Coy stays in “bed” for some short rests

There’s some mail

One letter is from Rolen

He says that the hallucinations he’d been having have gotten to be too much, and he is heading to mithril hall to search for his ex //Honestly, the most disappointing thing about the whole OOC situation was that we never got to figure out what that stomach spider bullshit was going to go

One is for Coy

That will she altered turns up. Apparently she’s owed some inheritance. The attorneys want her to drop in //During the vampire subplot, Coy found some victims dead in their apartment. She also found their will, and wrote herself in

One is from the sheriff’s office, for Lucas

They are grateful for our help

They’ve found out what happened to his brother

Lucas runs off to check it out

Graham gets a letter from Merrow

It’s about Hier’s trial

Hey Coy, what’s that in your pocket? //Coy stole a pendant off a noble later revealed to be Merrow a couple sessions back for no particular reason

Is that Merrow’s?

Coy says she’ll commit seppuku before telling

It might be a good idea to get it back to him somehow

Connie gets a letter too

It’s from her parents, Ida & Ingo Cooper

It’s been circulating for a while

Ingo has died. Ida wants her to come to the funeral. It’s in Neverwinter

Apparently, they’re waiting for her to get there

Lucas goes to Castle Waterdeep

On the broom

He’s broken a law, is he stupid?

But I saved the ci-

WATERDEEP IS A CITY OF LAWS, NOT OF MEN

Lucas tries to rules-lawyer his way out of a 500 gp fine

WATERDEEP IS A CITY OF LAWS, NOT OF MEN

Saving cops isn’t worth edgyLucas’ time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WRrAeQqVs8

The gang catches up to him

Graham asks for a copy of the paperwork

Coy tries to steal the money back

Despite a poor sleight of hand roll, she gets 800 gp

Graham and Lucas have a brief heart-to-heart

They’re the only original party members left

Coy totally didn’t steal that money back

She becomes inspired again

She gets pissed at Lucas for fucking up pronouns

Before they get to the sheriff’s office, they pass by the attorney’s office

Coy decides to pop in

She says something offensive to the gnomes that work there about their tiny baby arms

Coy signs some paperwork, and obtains a winery estate, and a house.

Winery is in Baldur’s Gate

House is in Waterdeep

They arrive at the castle

Vigo is happy to see the gang

He has a report on Lucas’ brother.

He was wounded in the raid of Mossstone

He was later redeployed to the front lines again

Apparently the sisters’ army has sacked Athkatla

Lucas wants a flying license

It’s 1000 gp

Gotta take tests and stuff

Lucas no longer wants a flying license

The gang remembers that they only have like 5kgp, and decide to confront Rockseeker about it

Rocky congratulates us of our victory

But he reminds us that they remain a threat

He predicts that they will throw everything they have against the city soon

Connie tells Rocky about the coins //Soldiers in the Sisters’ army carry coins that their superiors communicate through

Apparently, they’re stones of sending

Rocky says they’re short range only. Lame!

He says he can reset them to work for the party, so that’s cool

He tells us that we’re to participate in the trial of Lord Hier, and shouldn’t leave town yet

Lucas wants cash

Rocky is reluctant to pay up

He points us towards Merrow

Lucas breaks the news of Gandalf’s death to the party

Lucas says that he killed him

Necromancy, torture, I had to do it, pushed into lava

Angered with their lack of compensation, the gang decides to go see Merrow

Of course we have an appointment! Who do you take us for?!

Someone who doesn’t have an appointment, duh

Graham just tells the guards who we are

The guards are “a little bit pissed off, having to like, do things”

Merrow’s assistant says he’s busy, and we should wait a while

The anteroom is pretty nice, though, so it’s okay

Coffee and pastries are served

He wants a DEAL

Connie gets promoted to LORD OF WATERDEEP HOLY SHIT

Representing Athkatla, of course

You know, since she’s been a lord from there for like two weeks

Merrow offers us 500 gp

He wants Graham to serve as a judge during Hier’s trial

Merrow assures Lucas that the matter of Beydale will be addressed soon

Kim reminds the party about the black shield of blackness //A suspicious magic item from before my time.

It’s a +3 shield! Holy cow!

PVP!

Coy is brandishing her sword, and accidentally makes a swing at Lucas

It goes straight through Lucas’ leg

He pulls it out, spraying leg viscera all over the ground

Lucas cures wounds

He’s not giving the sword back

Shopping ensues

As per usual, the party gets in a fight with a shopkeeper for not having good enough wares //We should’ve waited until Connie could go the the dark assembly the Waterdeep city council meeting to pass a “more expensive stuff” bill

Max wants to learn minor illusion, and JP says it’s gonna be tough

Connie goes to get her clothes fixed.

It’s gonna be a week

The gang visits Coy’s new house

It’s a little bit of a wreck

The bed’s still gross

Coy wants to set Akim up there with a tutor/nanny

He’s looking for Julie Andrews

Or Dick Van Dyke

Probably that guy

She spends a few days looking for a suitable caretaker

Coy leaves him in Waterdeep with Rich, the tutor

Akim is ecstatic about the house

He gets his own room!

He can store all his toys

Like his ragdoll, and, uh,

That’s kind of it, actually

It’s name is “Alfie”

Coy thinks about getting him some new toys

“Will you be my mom, Coy”

Coy gives him a noncommittal answer

Rich the tutor gets 7 gp per month

Coy decides to take the displacer cub with her to train

Akim is devastated

Constanza sends a letter back to her folks detailing her situation

She also summons Paz, the slithering metal gear reference //It’s a tsuchinoko

During the ritual, she has a vision of her parents finding her as a baby, and also some commotion

Lucas and Graham resume shopping

Lucas orders a suit of medium armor with Graham’s help

They head to a jeweler next, to look for a decent wedding/engagement/whatever ring for LucasnGreg

Coy gets some daggers/throwing knives

Graham goes looking for a bag of holding

A shady street vendor approaches him

It’s 1kgp

It’s covered in blood

Graham doesn’t want to know where he got it from

He buys it, and the guy runs off

Coy goes to sell the shield

The shopkeeper isn’t buying that the shield is magical

Coy offers to demonstrate it

The shopkeeper is convinced, and pays 300 gp

Lucas wants some Lupe venom

Escrima is gatekeeping her “precious fluids”

They get half a vial of venom

Graham attunes to the shield

Lucas tests out sending to talk to everyone he knows

He gets no reply from his parents

He recalls that Baldur’s Gate uses anti-magic materials in prisons. Oh no!

His brother and his buddy are okay, though

Lucas teaches Coy minor illusion, in exchange for more draconic later

Coy gives Akim a hand crossbow. It’s giant and dangerous

The warehouse roof is finished //We wanted to have the roof of Lupe’s hangar open on the off chance we could use her for something

As are the other orders we placed

Summons for Hier’s trial arrives

Items are recovered from Rolen’s room

Connie is to be at peaktop aerie at midnight for confirmation as a lady of waterdeep

Connie asks the whole party to accompany her

Merrow arrives in a carriage to take the party to the aerie

Merrow reminds the party that only the lords are supposed to speak

But they can appoint an assistant that can whisper to the lord

She appoints Graham

Apparently, Rocky is a lord. This surprises nobody

A lord asks where Catarina is

A nat 20 convinces them that she’s not full of crap //In-universe, “Catarina” is a kingdom in a children’s book Connie used to like. “Constanza de Catarina” is not actually her given name. She just made it up because it sounded cool and foreign.

They seem to like that the party saved Amswater

All except one lord vote to confirm

What a bitch!

Connie suggests they move to retake Beydale

Some lords agree

Rockseeker throws some shade over the sisters of dawn incident

If the army secures Esmeralton, they’ll move for Beydale

Other topics of discussion include

Increase the number of garbage collectors

A motion to increase taxes on magic shops gets shot down

50k soldiers are to be drafted to the war in the south

Merrow talks about Hier’s trial

Meetings are monthly, but not mandatory

The party gets some winter clothes

During the week, Escrima handled Lupe. She seems trained!

Greg is grateful for Connie’s assistance at the council meeting

He’s also disappointed that Lucas is gonna have to leave again

Lucas suggests that he try and pick up bard-ing

The gang gets a message from Narcovi saying that they couldn’t find crazy eyes’ body

Jake had moving stuff to do, so the session was called there.

#Let's Play #dungeons and dragons #d&d #d&d 5e