#I love a mike wheeler I know what u are slowburn but I also am impatient and so he speedruns his gay crisis

[elum4x]

Stay With Me

soo it's finished fic friday? I've never posted any of my fics on tumblr before but it's friday and I want attention lol so here is my most popular fic I hope u like it :)

Stay With Me (read on ao3)

Stranger Things, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, 3040 words

Summary:

Will's eyes were wide and he could hear his heartbeat, loud and fast. "I… what time is it?"

Mike looked down at his watch. "Um, looks like 10:30pm. Sorry," he looked back up at Will, apologetically. "You fell asleep and I thought you probably needed the rest when you could get it."

Will scrunched up his face in confusion. "I fell asleep on you and you didn't move me?"

Mike felt his face heat up and prayed that it wasn't visible. "Um, no…"

aka. Will falls asleep on Mike and Mike goes through 15 stages of gay panic - crisis - realization - acceptance in like an hour.

(set approximately 2 months after s4)

Mike had been looking forward to it all day. Will was going to come over after dinner and they were going to make new D&D characters together, just like old times. Max and El had finally agreed to a game of D&D and Dustin wanted everyone to make fresh characters, "to begin a new era," he said. Mike was really happy that Will had agreed to working on theirs together. They were getting closer to back to normal for them, back to being best friends. Mike felt lighter after his breakup with El, and he thought Will seemed to be in a better mood lately as well, even with the Upside Down troubles that still haunted them.

What Mike wasn't anticipating was how tired Will would be. They only made it through choosing races and rolling stats before Will started to nod off. They were sitting together on Mike's bed, sharing a D&D manual, when Will's head dropped onto Mike's shoulder and his pencil slipped from his hand. At first, Mike froze, unsure what to do.

He just fell asleep? How tired has he been? And I asked him to come over at 9pm?

Mike looked down at Will and realized he would be a massive jerk to jostle him awake and insist that they keep working on their characters. He carefully closed the book they were using and set it to the side, along with his character sheet and pencil.

When he reached for Will's paper and pencil, he had to lean over him slightly, and the movement shifted Will's position on his shoulder.

"Hmm?" Will blinked sleepily and turned his face up towards Mike, not removing his head from his shoulder. He looked relaxed and content, a softer expression on his face than Mike had seen in a while. The golden light of the sunset streamed in through the window and illuminated one side of his face, casting shadows on the other.

He's beautiful, Mike thought, and pretended it didn't mean anything.

"Hey," Mike whispered, smiling down at him. "It's okay, you can go back to sleep."

"Okay," Will mumbled, half-asleep, and turned his face back into Mike's shoulder, throwing an arm over his waist and snuggling down to get more comfortable.

Mike felt his face warm and his heartbeat speed up, and he gingerly slid his arm that Will was leaning on a little further out to the side to wrap it around Will's back and hold him still. I just don't want him to be uncomfortable and wake up, Mike reasoned. He needs sleep.

No one in the party had been getting much rest lately. The rift was only getting worse, and Hawkins was barely holding together. Officials were starting to talk about a full evacuation of the town. So, if Will could sleep now, Mike certainly wasn't going to be the one to wake him. It was secondary that Mike found himself surprisingly comfortable and content with the situation.

Mike could feel Will's warm breath on his neck, even and slow. It tickled a bit, but Mike found that he didn't mind. Mike turned his head towards Will and rested his cheek on the top of Will's head. His hair smelled nice, like cinnamon, and something else Mike couldn't name. It was also soft-

Wait, is this weird? Mike abruptly stopped that train of thought. What am I doing? Cuddling my best friend and thinking about how he's beautiful and smells nice? That's not…normal, right?

Mike pulled his head back and tried to think back to a time when any of the other two party members had been in a position as close as this. There was the time that he slept next to Lucas on the couch, but they were both sitting pretty much straight up then, and Dustin, Will, Max, and El had been there too, all squished together in the Wheeler basement after the Battle of StarCourt Mall. Dustin had fallen asleep on Max's shoulder once, at school, and she had immediately pushed him off, disgusted. Even Lucas and Max, who were on and off dating, had never been seen cuddling, though Mike supposed they probably did when the others weren't around to make fun of them. 

But Mike had held Will's hand before, and they shared a bed at sleepovers when they were younger. Maybe it was a best friend thing. They were just closer with each other than the others. Yeah, that's all. Mike and Will had always been a bit closer than most friends. Mike was the most desperate member of the party when Will disappeared and was the one who took care of him when he came back and was having flashbacks, and then he never left his side once he was possessed by the Mind Flayer.

So, inseparable only until you got a girlfriend, a little voice in the back of his head said. You sure that's normal? Your whole relationship with your best friend changing when you get a girlfriend?

Mike wasn't sure how to explain that one besides mentally protest that he and Will were just friends, but he was arguing with himself. So… it didn't really help.

Okay, Mike thought, I'm a logical person. I'm sure I can figure this out. What was he arguing against? The suggestion that he and Will were… more than friends? No one had ever really suggested that, at least not that Mike had heard. So, did Mike see himself and Will as more than friends?

Mike considered this possibility, pushing down any emotional reactions he might have to the idea, trying to evaluate the evidence. I miss him when he's not around, more than I would miss Dustin or Lucas. I feel nervous about touching him too much or too little and making him uncomfortable. I sometimes stare at him when he's not looking because I like how he looks but I don’t want him to know. I would kill and die to keep him safe. And occasionally I have had dreams in which I kiss Will and wake up smiling. Well, shit.

It was kind of obvious when he thought about it like that. He had just been avoiding putting the pieces together for so long, refusing to think about it, especially when he had been dating El, but there was no avoiding it now. Mike Wheeler had a crush on Will Byers.

Actually, Mike Wheeler might be in love with Will Byers. If he was going start admitting things to himself, why only go halfway?

Mike surprised himself with the lack of shock he felt. Once he allowed feelings to creep back in, he felt a familiar pit of guilt, shame, and anxiety in his stomach, with maybe an added layer of sexuality-related fear and panic, but he didn't feel shock, or disbelief, or the slightest bit of resistance to the idea. It was like once he let himself think it, he knew it had always been true.

Belatedly, Mike realized that he was still holding, no, cuddling, Will, who was sleeping peacefully on his chest, oblivious to Mike's crisis. Mike felt his cheeks heat up as he processed that he was cuddling a boy, who he was maybe-probably in love with, and this is a very gay position to be in.

For a moment Mike thought, this is supposed to be disgusting, and immoral, and I shouldn't be doing this.

And then he felt a new wave of shame wash over him. Being gay isn't bad, he told himself fiercely. People like Lonnie and Troy are hateful assholes and they're wrong. People will say anything that they don't like is immoral, like D&D. It's bullshit.

And anyway…am I gay? Mike wondered. He didn't really know the first thing about being gay, besides what bullies said to him and Will all throughout elementary and middle school. And he supposed they probably didn't know the first thing about being gay either.

Then he thought, does it matter? And it didn't, not really. He certainly wasn't about to start going around and telling people he liked Will, so no one else had to know, so who cared what the word for it was.

Then Mike laid his head back on the pillow propped up behind him and really thought about Will. Will Byers, his best friend since they were five. Mike thought about how much fun they always had together even when school was shit, when going home was hard, and when it felt like the world was ending. If they were together and Will was safe, then things would always be okay.

Will has been through so much, Mike thought. He deserves everything I can give him. But, what if it would just make it harder for him? Would he be upset if I said something? I can't let him think I'm trying to insult him, or, or take something from him.

Mike felt overwhelmed. He didn't know what to do. It was all moving too quickly in his head, mind empty of any distraction and nothing to focus on but the boy in his arms and how much he cared about him and what the hell he was supposed to do about it.

Not everything he was feeling was bad - there was a thrill of excitement and the hint of a warm, soft feeling in his chest when he considered that he could tell Will that he cared about him this way. That he loved him.

Mike Wheeler loved Will Byers. It was a fact. He knew now that it was, and it wasn't going to change.

In a way, Mike felt a bit of relief when he decided that. There was nothing he needed to do or could do to change something that was simply a fact of life. Just like anything else. The way he needed to breathe, Mike Wheeler needed Will Byers to be happy and alive. He would do anything to keep him that way.

Then Mike remembered something Will had said, back during the road trip from hell. He told me that El needed me, that she would always need me, because I made her feel better about being different. But the way he said it… Another memory came to him. Him and Will sitting on top of a car in a junkyard, Will saying, "It can be scary to open up to people, tell them how you really feel. Especially the ones you care about the most." Mike felt like he knew exactly what Will meant. It was all coming together for him, like puzzle pieces he had dropped on the floor and only just found, finally able to complete the picture.

I want to tell him, Mike thought, now sure. I want him to know. I don't want to keep a secret from him.

Finally, Mike was able to relax. He knew how he felt and what he wanted, and he really was quite warm and comfortable, lying here on his bed next to Will. Before he could think about how he was going to tell Will, he drifted off to sleep.

--

Will was warm. He was in bed, comfortable, nowhere to be, and it was great. He was the pleasant kind of sleepy, which was rare. He was usually just exhausted. He reached out to pull up his blanket so he could snuggle even further into it, only to realize that there was no blanket over him. That was weird. Why was he so warm then? And there was a weight pressing into his back, what was that? Will slowly blinked his eyes open, though part of him protested, wanting to just forget it and go back to sleep. First he saw a broad expanse of blue fabric, then he figured out that it was a shirt. Then it moved slightly, and Will was suddenly much more awake. He was laying on a person. Not just any person. Mike Wheeler.

Will shot straight up, fumbling to get his hands underneath him to push him away from his sleeping friend. God, what happened? He must have fallen asleep and Mike felt bad for him so he didn't wake him up, even though Will was totally ruining their plans to hang out. He must have been so uncomfortable. In more ways than one. Will felt a little sick.

Jostled by Will's abrupt movement, Mike shook his head and opened his eyes, slowly looking around the room. "Hi," he said when he saw Will sitting up, now some 6 inches away. "Are you okay?"

Will's eyes were wide and he could hear his heartbeat, loud and fast. "I… what time is it?"

Mike looked down at his watch. "Um, looks like 10:30pm. Sorry," he looked back up at Will, apologetically. "You fell asleep and I thought you probably needed the rest when you could get it."

Will scrunched up his face in confusion. "I fell asleep on you and you didn't move me?"

Mike felt his face heat up and prayed that it wasn't visible. "Um, no…" He just stared at Will, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Does he think it's weird that I basically cuddled him while he was asleep? Can he tell that I…

"…why not?" Will asked, hesitantly.

Shit, Mike thought. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that?

Still maintaining eye contact, Mike said: "Um… I was comfortable."

Suddenly realizing that he was still very close to Mike, faces just inches apart, Will blushed and looked away. "Oh." He said, sitting up straighter and pulling his knees up to his chest.

"How did you sleep?" Mike hoped he sounded normal. Internally he was mildly panicked, wondering if he accidentally made Will uncomfortable. I did like it and he seemed pretty comfortable, but did I do something to make him upset?

Will laughed softly. "I probably just made my sleep schedule worse… I slept well though. No nightmares." He turned back to look at Mike and gave him a small smile. "When I can't fall asleep later tonight, I'm blaming you."

Huh. Mike thought. He doesn't seem upset…so why is he acting weird?  Mike sat up with his legs extended in front of him. I wonder…

Mike bumped his shoulder against Will's and said, "You could just stay here tonight. We could keep each other company if we can't fall asleep."

Mike was kind of leaning towards Will and Will did not know what to make of it. Their faces were entirely too close for comfort, but Will couldn't look away. Mike's expression was soft, open. He seemed genuine, like he didn't mind Will falling asleep on him, and maybe he did really want him to stay.

Mike's eyes flickered down to Will's lips. He instantly forced himself to look up and make eye contact again, but he was sure Will noticed. How could he not? Shit.

"Okay!" Will blurted, a bit too loudly. He immediately blushed and turned away from Mike, pushing his face onto his hand under the guise of running his hand through his hair.

Mike's heart fluttered. Shit. I want him to stay forever. He deserves to know. Mike took a deep breath. It's might be now or never.

Will was still looking away, but Mike never stopped staring at him. Mike reached for his hand that was pressed against the bedspread between them. He carefully entwined his fingers with Will's, and felt it when Will went rigid beside him.

"Um, can I tell you something?"

Will didn't turn to look at Mike. He thought his heart may have stopped beating and if he looked at Mike, he might actually die.

Mike took a deep breath. "I don't think I like girls."

Will whipped his head around, eyes enormous with shock. He thought Mike was acting weird, but he did not anticipate him saying that. "You… what? But, Eleven?"

Mike cringed a bit. "Um, yeah, if it wasn't clear, everything I said in that pizza place was kind of bullshit. I mean, I do love El, but not like that. I didn't ever. But I didn't know what it was supposed to feel like. Not until… more recently." He met Will's eyes.

"Oh," Will breathed. "So, what is it supposed to feel like?" He looked at once hopeful and terrified, but he didn't look away, and Mike's heart ached.

"I think," Mike said, "it's supposed to feel like a warmth in your chest whenever you think about them or see them, and it feels like coming home when you're together, like you're exactly where you're supposed to be." He kept hold of Will's hand but gestured with his other hand to illustrate his point. "It feels like… just wanting to see someone happy and safe, no matter what that looks like, but hoping that it's you that can make them happy. Do you know what I mean?"

Will's voice cracked when he responded: "Yeah, I know." His eyes shone with the hint of unshed tears.

"Will…" Mike said, voice shaky, "I just want to make you happy. It’s all I've ever wanted."

"Oh." Will said, and he looked down, and Mike thought, oh god, I thought this was going well, but I'm an idiot-

And then Will scooted closer to Mike on the bed and looked up at him again and said, "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay."

Mike was sure his face had never been more red in his life. "That's okay," he managed, voice strangled. Of course that's okay, it's more than okay, this might be the new best thing that's ever happened to me- oh god, Will is kissing me-!

Mike's thoughts trailed off as he closed his eyes and relaxed into the kiss. It was short and sweet. Will pulled back after only a moment and rested their foreheads together.

"I want to make you happy too," he whispered.

Mike wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. He reached up with his free hand to gently touch the side of Will's face. "Then stay," he whispered. "Forever."

Will sniffled a little and closed his eyes, blinking back tears. He whispered back, "Okay."

#screams #posting writing is embarrassing but I do mildly like this #I love a mike wheeler I know what u are slowburn but I also am impatient and so he speedruns his gay crisis #byler #fanfic #byler fanfic #byler tumblr #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #my fic stuff