#I know she lies sometimes

[isjasz]

[Day 182]

Grian mentions Hollow Knight on phasmo stream and gave it a 10/10 the crowd goes wild HOLLOW KNIGHT AU LETSGOOOOOOOOOOO

Inspired from this!

#dddaily4sherin #grian #pearlescentmoon #goodtimeswithscar #isdoodles #i love pearl hornet sm SHES SO #I still dont know the full lore tho btw im watching the gameplay as we speak o7 #(wanted to try beating it myself but immediately caved after tdy LOL) #HOLLOW KNIGHT YEAHHHHHHH #BUGS!!!!!!!!!!! #also yeah sorry i lied abt day 181 BSADHhhd IT WILL BE FINISHED SOMETIME PROMISE!! :) #hermit knight au #EDIT BARGES IN THE DOOR WE ARE CALLING THIS AU HERMIT KNIGHT #SHOUT OUT TO THAT ONE PERSON IN THE TAGS ON THIS POST!!!!

[panxramic]

Tallulah and Promises

Something I’ve always liked keeping an eye on and is so bittersweet about Tallulah’s character is her relationship with promises. I’m not quite sure when it became so intense, maybe it’s been there since the beginning, but Tallulah for a long time has had a unique relationship with making and keeping a promise.

I want to say that first and foremost, how she handles promises can be incredibly childish. Both because they can be nonsensical and “immature” AND because well, she’s a child. What kind of promise do you expect from a child?

A promise is everything to her, it’s a contract. Its words set in stone and written in the stars. A promise CANNOT be broken. Doesn’t matter who it is, a promise is a promise and you keep it. And it’s not all bad. Things like this can be reasonable right? She’ll get upset of course when someone makes a promise or when she can’t keep hers. She uses promises as a way to hold out hope. She uses them to keep herself and those around her accountable, so she has the assurance that they’ll do what they promised and she’ll do what she promised. That no matter what happens in the world, no matter what life throws at her, she can count on those promises.

So when someone breaks it, when she can’t live up to her promises, it shatters her world view.

And then the problems start to stack up, especially when we get into the realm of false promises, it starts becoming a mess. A mess of false hope. Because remember, to her, promises can be translated to hope (another big part of her character).

Gonna breeze pass through this one but she did make a promise when she first joined the island. A promise to someone, who never kept up his end of it, and she held on to it for MONTHS. For months that child held out her promise and repeatedly brought it up again and again that no matter what she was gonna be alive for when he came back and when he needed her. With not a sign of him returning that promise to her. And this promise was also hope. Hope she wasn’t gonna be left alone again, abandoned.

And that’s when we get into false promises. Because although Tallulah does value them a lot, she also asks for people to promise her things that sometimes cannot be done. There have been countless of times she has tried asking q!Phil to promise her something, but q!Phil has rarely ever promised her anything (with a handful of exceptions). He’s careful, he’s always very careful about what he promises to her because he doesn’t want to make a promise he can’t keep. And whenever he doesn’t promise her something, I feel like a part of Tallulah’s hope gets cracked. Because without a promise, how positive is she that q!Phil will keep his word? How hopeful can she really be that everything will be okay?

She hangs onto promises like a lifeline. They’re the one tether that can keep her hope afloat. And she remembers them, remembers her promises like a burn on her skin.

She’s done the same thing to q!Bad. Has asked if he could promise things, like promise that he wasn’t dying, but q!Bad never could. And when people can’t promise something, she has little hope that everything will be okay.

And some promises she asks for can be so… nonsensical. Promises we know, and I KNOW she knows, cannot be made. But she asks for them anyway. Because she’s a child. A child who just wants everything to be okay and wants her Papa Phil to promise that nothing bad will ever happen to him, to promise that he will never leave them, because she’s a terrified kid of being abandoned again and not having that reassurance, that solid ground, that things will be okay.

But q!Phil can’t promise that. And it aches.

One time she broke that barrier, she couldn’t take it anymore. She asked q!Bad to promise her something and he refused to. And afterwards she just told him to promise it to her even if it’s a lie. She full on broke that glass wall and was transparent.

Pinky promise to me you would not die

At least lie to me

And he did.

Because promises make her feel better. She holds onto them until she can’t, even if it is filled with lies. Because sometimes a child asks for a promise and they don’t expect the truth, they just expect comfort. Because it’s the only thing they can handle.

It’s so sad to watch her hold onto promises that she KNOWS deep in her heart can’t be kept. But still she wishes and she hopes and she believes in these lies as if they’re the only thing holding her up above ground.

Sometimes the promises she asks for can be unreasonable. She puts up a wall to protect herself because reality is scary, it’s terrifying. Tallulah values the truth like no other. She hates lies and she hates when people like q!Phil and Chayanne hide things from her. But when it comes to her dad potentially abandoning her, when it comes to him dying and leaving her, she’d rather believe everything will be okay than face the harsh reality of what’s going on.

And this topic has a lot of nuances I won’t get specifically into. It’s a blend of promises and lies and hope and truth. The lies the promises hold aren’t the same as someone straight up lying to her face and hiding things from her. It’s different instances of a lie.

Anyways, again, a lot of different things I can get into and definitions to go through BUT I will to say that it’s not wrong of her to want to believe everything will be okay. I’m an optimist at heart. ‘Hope’ to me is important and I think it isn’t wrong to have it even when things are looking down. But, something specifically for Tallulah is that alongside that hope, she also is terrified of reality (rightfully so) and tries to erase it by making a promise. And essentially, that’s not how the world works.

It’s such a childish way of thinking. You cannot erase the bad things from happening with a promise. And that’s what Tallulah sometimes does. If she makes q!Phil promise that he won’t leave her, then surely he won’t. That’s how promises work right?

Tallulah holds herself to these promises too. She does everything in her power to keep her word. When she doesn’t, when she breaks a promise she makes, she beats herself up for it.

That first promise she made? She broke it during purgatory and it broke her. It was one of the many accumulated reasons why she hated Purgatory island and everything associated with it. And when she broke that promise a piece of her hope broke with it.

Whenever Tallulah makes a promise to q!Phil she engraves it in her mind. She does everything in her power to keep it. And when she’s accused of breaking a promise, she panics and becomes defensive. She looks back into her mind to see if she ever DID make that promise and if she didn’t she starts defending herself. The conversation begins to shift from the actual issue to “no I never made that promise I didn’t promise you anything I didn’t break anything.” Because it’s SUPER important to her. The idea of breaking a promise is like a rock to glass. So she remembers the promises she makes.

Promises for Tallulah are a childish way for her to rewrite reality. But they’re also a way for her to have hope. There’s a balance when it comes to having hope and being able to see reality for what it is. And it’s something Tallulah struggles with. And I don’t blame her for it.

A child who cannot cope with reality will make pinky promises of clear skies and sunny days. A child who cannot handle the possibility of being abandoned again will make someone promise her to never leave even if she knows things are out of his control. Because in the mind of a child, a promise cannot be broken.

A promise is sealed. It’s a binding rope that should never give. So if Tallulah can make q!Phil promise her things, then that means he will never leave her, that means he will never hurt her. If Tallulah can make q!Bad promise her he won’t die then she can live in the lie that he will be okay. If she can promise to always be by her brothers side then surely they will never be separated again.

Because promise can’t be broken.

Right?

(Deep down inside, she knows).

#I can talk about this topic for ages #also not too happy with what #I wrote about lies and the truth #but in order to delve into that #I need 2 other tumblr posts #just know that at the end of the day #tallulah #still values the truth and hates lies #things are complicated though #people and likewise kids #are complicated #qsmp tallulah #qsmp #marv rants #ALSO LIKE #REMEMBER SHES A CHILD #ITS ALL FROM A CHILDISH POV #sometimes she can tell she’s being #unreasonable but she doesn’t care #and I think other times she full on #tried to really believe the promise #will help

[xbraveheartx]

Did anyone else get that feeling that the texture/color of Romeo's hair looked like a bleach job gone wrong?(Unlike P's curly brown locks, which I agree are resistant to fire unlike Romeo getting caught in PK's explossion but my point remains). A healthy number of Lampwick depiction has him with red/auburn hair (wether this is an actual book thing or not I have no idea), so I have this headcanon that while the lamp post jokes never got to him, ginger jokes definitely did

I think I've seen a mention floating around about that! I do like that headcanon, especially with how you explain it with the jokes aimed at him!

But I'm gonna go with the thought that-- no, I don't think he bleached his hair. I think he really is that blond... His eyebrows look very strawberry blond in this image here, prior to getting cooked over-easy and you can also see his roots are pretty natural looking? With all the detail the devs put into this game, I would assume they would have added some different colored roots to show that sort of thing, but I could also be wrong!

Also, kinda would be hard to keep up with keeping your roots nice and bleached when the world is dying all around you, y'know? Also, take it from someone who has a lot of red in their hair, and has friends who are redheads: Bleaching wouldn't make it nice and pale like this. It would make it... super saiyan yellow. Cartoonishly yellow. Even if you bleach it repeatedly, it wouldn't be this nice and light!

As for texture, considering he was only created to be used and discarded? I don't think Geppetto cared to put any love and attention to his hair. Just enough to emulate how he used to look, but that's strictly my thoughts and theory, at that point.

REGARDLESS, I adore the idea that he was naturally a redhead and spent so long painstakingly bleaching it! The amount of stories and situations that could come from it, the ideas that are born from it-- I'm all here for it. Give me those fics. That art. Feed my soul with this concept ♡ I love the idea of Carlo finding out his best friend's hair is naturally red and Romeo confiding in him over it, because it's something he's super self conscious over.

Maybe in some stories, he learns to like his natural hair color? ♡ Ugh, the potential. But yeah, these are just my thoughts!!

#Lies of P #Lies of P Spoilers #Thank you for sending this in!! It's interesting to think about honestly! But yeah I-- #I've bleached my hair WAY too many times NOT to know how bleaching red-heavy hair would turn out LOL #and my redhead friend wanted to dye her hair pink. She bleached her hair twice and it was like. #YELLOW SUN blond LOL this is why they invented purple shampoo/conditioner! And toning! #To combat the SUPER SAIYAN YELLOW and allow people like us to dye our hair without YELLOW ruining it #BUT HONESTLY FUCK CANON GIVE ME RED HEAD ROMEO IT SOUNDS ADORABLE??? #I know he's usually depicted as a redhead in recent media (or a light brunet sometimes) but give me red head LoP Romeo~

[lisbonsteresa]

i'm going to SCREAM

#tm #you don't get how UNHINGED this makes me it's SO #like he's been out all day trying to track down this missing kid (as part of her case too; to give her another avenue against volker) #and they have their little catch up and at first he's concerned (she's been at this all day and now into the night too #and he GETS it - in a way maybe other people wouldn't - but he doesn't want her to burn herself out; he wants her to be careful #maybe he's about to tell her a version of 'get some sleep') #but then she talks about amanda and it makes me NUTS because she does NOT ask for his help #she doesn't ask him to stay; to read the files with her; to 'burn the midnight oil' with her #she's just...stating her case; explaining why this means so much to her; and he listens; he takes it in; and he makes the choice to help #to sit in this with her and to help her work through it #and i just -- neither of them will ask the other for help (yes i know she did at the end of the last episode the context is different ok) #but they're both so quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) desperate to help each other it makes me sick #it's so interesting to see how they deal with this as the show goes on....idk how to explain it but like #when jane needs help he closes himself off; he keeps secrets and he schemes and he lies ('let me help you' 'you're sweet') #because he's trying to keep the people he cares about - the people he never planned on caring about as much as he does - safe #even as he shares more with lisbon (and sometimes the rest of the team) he still doesn't share everything #because that puts them at risk #and that's what lisbon used to do to - in the earlier seasons she put up walls when she felt vulnerable; and she still does in some cases #but with this case especially she's much more accepting of help - she relies on her team (not that she doesn't usually) #and she's practically an open book to jane - in this scene most of all - she lets herself be more vulnerable #(and open to suggestions/ideas she might otherwise scoff at or reject) #idk idk it's very interesting but this scene makes me so wacky there's something so soft and tender and understanding about it #the way there's no spoken acknowledgement - no 'i'll help' or 'thank you' - just the silent understanding that they're in this together #because they're partners #(also the way he picks at the rest of her food - the 'done with this?' the only thing they say - and the framing through the window #is still somehow very domestic it's like my perfect scene) #spinning my wheels hard i'm not thinking clearly i just love everything about it

[bluffmotel]

while only a minority share this view, i do find it somewhat tone deaf when people claim jay's ending is the best outcome for an abuse survivor -- either directly or indirectly implying everyone in the holt house was an abuser that jay, their sole little victim, had to get away from. for starters, none of his endings are happy ones. not even the fugitive path where he's holed up amongst nature, has a dog, and is bathed in solitude. maybe if you close your ears to what jay's saying during that scene you could see this as good for him, but his dialogue is stifled with an achingly loneliness, a sadness. this idea that he craved being alone in the wilderness is not one jay paints himself, it's only something that's said by tyler ; someone who clearly doesn't understand the younger on any level, much less grasps his desires. yes, jay wanted out, he likes nature, though no human can stew in their own space for years without this affecting them mentally. and that's not even taking into account that his entire life is over! he can't travel, he can't visit other countries or get lost in other areas of wood lands or plains, jay is infinitely stuck where he is. it's not a prison cell but it's a cage nonetheless, as the old saying goes : a golden cage is still a cage, after all. he tells zoe these beautiful sights have grown dull on him, laments about missing his family, vanessa, and is so chained by his want for connection he reaches out to a desert dream victim of all people. like, what about this muted cynicism, this barren home, seems happy? maybe he wanted this, some whimsical dream of this, before. now though? it's not what jay thought it'd be, and he lacks any power to change it. this is not some amazing ending for abuse survivors, it's still sad in a melancholy way, simply because jay is visibly unhappy with said circumstances.

but moving on to this, ah, ‘poor little victim in a lion's den’ narrative ... what? i think a lot of people fail to grasp how complex the holt household is in terms of toxicity and abuse. something that's very common nowadays due to how much people project rather than see what's in front of them. and don't get me wrong! projection is fine, you do you, we all consume and parse through media differently -- but this narrative is, by canon evidence, rather fictional. to be completely blunt, jay is not the only victim stuck in the holt house ?? the abusers have always been bear ( physical abuse, verbal degradation ) and sharon ( passive in the face of her kids' abuse, emotional manipulation ) ... and we are literally told point blank by the story itself and another character that these two favored jay immensely compared to their other children. now i'm obviously not saying that he has not faced trauma, he has! favoritism in a house like this does not shield you from the toxicity, sometimes that favor makes things worse, but he was protected to an extent, in ways tyler and dale were not. those two very clearly faced the brunt of bear's physical abuse ; for each other, for jay, and just overall caught their dad's ire more because they stood up to him. tyler takes a beating, a sight that's not at all new by his grim acceptance of this and the fact he states he's been doing this since young :

so, this is normal for tyler. getting beaten by his dad ( which isn't even mentioning the horror story bear can tell to ash, about how he literally threatened to cut tyler's ear or finger off ) and having his mom overall turn a blind eye to it, even going as far as to dismiss this fighting as childish behavior rather than what it is. and dale? we don't see much of him and bear in general, yet the second he steps up to defend tyler, with something as measly as a shove back, bear wastes zero time in hitting him so hard he's practically out of commission for the rest of the fight. he didn't even think about it, merely swung at dale as hard as possible on instinct alone before tyler hastily stepped up to defend him. what happens when jay tries stopping the fight, though?

both parties grab for him so they can toss him out of the way so he doesn't possibly get hurt. you can speculate bear was only doing this in order to finish his punishment on tyler, he'd deal with jay later whatever, although why not punch him like dale? why, out of all the moves on his belt, does he do the more merciful option? bear, who is nothing if not made of violence and has been molded to respect it? his fist that's raised in the air isn't for jay, since the next frame is jay shoved out of the way and him hitting tyler again ... hell, in dialogue where bear and jay are sitting on their porch, the youngest can even say bear beats on tyler and dale specifically. why not say “you beat on us”? like, the game is heavily implying that while jay is traumatized, there are some methods of abuse he simply did not face. one of them being the physical abuse prominent at home. and no, i'm not counting whatever pranks dale's pulled on jay ( like shooting him six times with a bb gun lmao ) because honestly? that's just older brother behavior, and we know that despite the morbid pranks, he still looked out for jay in the ways that counted. like protecting him from pa and to an extent tyler, something which, again, jay says himself!

back on topic a bit, the notion people seem to have of jay and his family seems overly simplified to me. people just looked at dale being his usual asshole self and went ‘abuser’, people looked at tyler's rather drastic and not usually like himself reactions to a high stress situation and went ‘abuser’, and that's a bit ridiculous to me. can't say i'm shocked! since so many people nowadays just see someone mean to their favorite character and decide woobifying said fave while demonizing their opposing force is exactly what canon intended. as dusk falls couldn't be a game more clear about it's main theme of family and the fact there's no purely good or bad people in this world, two statements that correspond directly to the holt family. are they bad for each other? probably! but that's a different discussion compared to, say, every single soul in that house violently abused poor jay and they should reap the consequences of that. dale and tyler, like their beloved younger brother, are also victims of abusive parents and a toxic home life. in turn, they both show signs of this abuse in ways that aren't entirely sympathetic or easy to swallow, especially when they've been dealing with it longer than jay and have never had their parents' favor the way he did. i see people get angry at tyler for the famous cabin scene, but nobody turns a critical eye to sharon ; who for all intents and purposes is watching this unfold without a care. she never physically stops tyler and her attempts to kill the fight are weak compared to her previously steely commands. and, honestly, the fact that tyler was that stressed about sharon getting on that bike so she can be protected, when she's the most capable out of the three of them, is way more strange than tyler's outburst -- when he's in a high stress situation, his baby brother's dead, and his life as he knows it is over. a life he didn't even have to begin with, since it was stolen due to his abusive upbringing.

whether this excuses what he did or not is entirely up to the player! i personally don't think it does, though i also understand where this is coming from and the game makes it clear this is not usual tyler behavior. throughout other people's views it's hammered into us that tyler has a cool head relatively, is the most sensible and smart out of his brothers. so, no, i do not think he was choking jay out all the time for his misplaced resentment -- i think his obvious disliking came from his stilted interactions with jay, and his lack of bond with him at all. we see in book one two times he reaches out to jay, demanding that he eats ( a minor, small thing to fret and worry about ) as well as panicking when he sees jay away from the rest of them during a shoot out. dale constantly looks out for jay as well, going as far as to take the heat from romero if they get caught and something as small as taking blame for jay's mistake in the barn scene. are his brothers more prone to violence and apathy? sure! yet they clearly love jay regardless. abusive households are not easy and see through. in fact in many cases the different levels of abuse the kids suffer does breed life altering resentment later on, envy that can damage these bonds permanently. honestly the holt family intrigues me deeply because of how well written they were as a unit, the effects of abuse and toxicity subtle and not overt in a ‘psa message’ kinda way. and these horrible relationships and ideals shared do not negate from the even more horrible fact that there is love in this messed up family, even bear clearly loves his sons, but that doesn't make it better. it almost makes it worse, seeing all the good intentions and care. knowing it doesn't excuse what they've done to each other nor does it make them better. they're a picture perfect family of an ugly wound! which is fascinating! i only wish more people saw that wonderfully shown depth rather than this bland and lukewarm take on the holts overall.

jay is a victim, he is traumatized, he deserved to one day spread his wings and put some distance between himself and his family ... but he was not the only one who deserved that ending, and he was not the only victim there. he was merely the only one with easy to parse trauma responses.

#as dusk falls #interior night #jay holt #dale holt #tyler holt #the holt family #meta post #ngl i'll make fancier tags eventually because i do not wanna clog the adf tag but this'll do #this was not supposed to be my first post yet i feel very strongly about this topic and the holts so um #here we go i guess! #cannot stress enough the literal dev of interior night has said the holts do want what's best for each other #they just have different ideas of what that best is! so it comes out wrong and warped and sometimes mean spirited #but they aren't just 2-bit abusers with signs on their heads saying : i hate jay and abuse him on the regular im a monster kill me #like do you know how much it wrecked me going through variations of the jay in prison scenes and seeing him say like #that tyler might even be happy out there as a fugitive. and that jay wants that for him? for tyler to be happy? #even jay himself comes into his wisdom which has always been there and acknowledges his love for his family #and the fact tyler and dale were miserable going on the way they were. just like he was! #the game centers around the holts and the walkers because they are two families that love each other and fumble the landing of it #jim lies to vince over something unforgivable. yet lying is all he knows. yet he did it out of a selfish love for his son #michelle cheats on vince which is awful and tries to paint it as something not important but she loves vince #is even willing to let him indulge in petty revenge ( which is missing the point ) so that they can stay together! #terrible things they're doing but it never takes away from the fact they love vince and zoe #a sentiment echoed by the holts! #idk like i know this take might get me killed but seeing morally gray games get the black and white treatment kills me #you are missing the true brilliance of adf's writing! you are missing some amazing characters! #also jay is not some unflawed creature. he literally can get so jealous over some girl that he isn't dating to the point of MAIMING a guy #he could've killed todd. he probably almost did! vanessa even says he might be more like his family than he thinks #and even if you don't choose this option it is still inside him. this paranoid jealousy and brutal violence #he can shoot vince or watch him die. he can let his dad die. he can bury someone alive. he can kill a cop and some poor ranger #dale and tyler and jay might be different characters and were shaped differently but they're still the same at their core

[swagging-back-to]

lying to a kid about if theyre adopted should be classified as abuse and no j am not joking

#abused adoptee #adoption #adoptee voices #to clarify i was never lied to. i knew as early as i can remember #but i work with a kid who was raised thinking her mother was her older sister. #shes seemingly chill about it but you can tell #and even so thats just so fucked up #you hear of people finding out through dna tests #of the adopters waiting till (specific) birthday to tell them -- usually after 18. #im sure even people who arent adopted can sympathize with how awful that would be #to find out your entire life is a lie overnight #especially for medical concerns. all the medical history yourlve come to accept as fact (grandma has diabetes aunt judy has dementia etc) #is suddenly wrong. now you dont know what you are or arent predisposed to. you dont know what tests you shouldve taken #your ancestry and ethnicity could be wrong #i knew i was adopted but they never told me i was hispanic. they kept it from me. #i thought i was pure british like them because im not super tan and have blonde hair #sometimes it's done under the guise of 'keeping peace'or 'saving them from the burden of knowing' #but really--it's all about control #most people dont like to talk about it but a good portion of adoptive situations involve control freaks. #this is from my own personal experience #almost every adopter i know is a control freak. #half of the adopters i know personally adopted just for the manual labor and a scape goat. #this is what my adopters did #to completely take away someones truth and deny them their own history--even after youve taken their legal rights. #oftentimes youve taken their entire names #like that is so vile #it really is #adoptees deserve the right to know theyre adopted. to know their biological familys medica history (if possible) #to be able to contact their biological family if they choose so #to be able to denounce the adopters as their parents or family

[softquietsteadylove]

Would you write Ajak watching her children sleep before they split up? Especially Thena and Gilgamesh?

Tenochtitlan: a great city sprawling out from grand temples already built and established. They had found a wonderful city full of wonderful people here. People who were accepting of the Eternals and their strangeness and gifts and powers.

They were freshly settled, had spoken with locals. Phastos had worked with them to build a temple for them to stay in properly. Ajak had told him explicitly to use restraint. He would use his powers at night and tell each of the shifts of human workers that the other shift had gotten so much done!

Ajak wasn't sure about lying to them like that but it seemed to encourage them, the two different teams congratulating and praising one another when they were present together.

Ajak walked through the halls. Her children were sleeping. There would not be much more time until they were her children no longer. Her children, free of the burden of their mission.

Ikaris and Sersi were anxious around one another. Ikaris grew more agitated the fewer Deviants there were, but Sersi couldn't understand why. Instead, she was left to wonder why her husband of all this time was pulling away from her as he was.

Ajak peeked into their room. Ikaris was on watch, leaving Sersi to sleep alone. She was on his side of the bed, a book unfolded in what was usually her spot. Her poor, sweet Sersi. But Ikaris said he was protecting her from the knowledge of the Emergence, and Ajak accepted that choice.

Sprite and Kingo were actually out with the locals. The people here enjoyed the spirit of night life, food and drink and gatherings of people. The two more social Eternals - despite Sprite's temper - thrived off the sense of community found with the locals. Locals who didn't consider them gods, nor batted an eye at their powers nor Sprite's eternal youth.

Ajak walked past Phastos' lab. She knew he was in there working, as he always was. He still had not found a soul to match his. And perhaps there was no perfect match for the Fabricator Eternal, but she hoped there was. She hoped there was some peace for him in the rest of his life on this planet.

Druig and Makkari were growing closer and closer. They had always been close, of course, but there was also a part of them that was tethered at somewhat of a distance. Makkari simply was too free to be nailed down in any permanent sense. To ground her little hummingbird heart would be to kill her. Meanwhile Druig unconsciously craved to settlement. He was tired of moving, of the world's bombastic rhythm constantly banging at the door to his otherwise peaceful mind.

Druig was sleeping on his back, his arms wrapped around himself. His head was leaned against Makkari's, though. The Speedster Eternal didn't often need sleep. Or she would sleep and regain her energy in the blink of an eye, the same speed at which she lived the rest of her life. But as time went on, she started indulging in sleep more often.

Makkari's head was tucked against Druig's jaw, but her arms were folded between them. They slept together, and yet apart in some ways.

Ajak hoped the best for them. Come the time to separate, she was not sure where they would go, or if it would be together.

Unlike the last two.

Gilgamesh and Thena showed no signs of the restlessness that was plaguing the rest of the team. They also spoke of what they would do once this last continent was rid of Deviants. They also discussed how much more of this planet there was to see, places they would like to revisit in these new dynasties and eras and centuries.

But the Strongest and Warrior Eternal showed no readiness to separate. If anything, they were more bound together than ever. Ajak could barely look at them without finding her attentions being subconsciously countered.

Thena would catch her looking and lean against Gilgamesh, unsure of what made her uneasy but establishing herself protectively between him and their Prime nonetheless. Somewhat less aggressively but still evident, Gilgamesh would eventually fall out of conversation involving Ajak and look at Thena, assuring that no matter what was decided, that he would be with her.

The two were clear about it, in not so many words: if they were to go anywhere, they would go together.

Ajak had to be more careful about this room than most. The Warrior Eternal was, in many ways, her deadliest--even more so than Ikaris. And with growing tensions and Thena's nearing breaking point, Ajak had no desire to push the blonde further than needed.

It wasn't every night, and it wasn't as set in stone as Ikaris and Sersi, but it was quite easily assumed that Gil would be in Thena's room, or vice versa. It wasn't nearly as spoken of--they weren't married like Ikaris and Sersi. Druig often slept - and ate - anywhere he damn well pleased, and Makkari would join him if she so desired. They were less bound by the room itself.

Thena and Gil, though, were reluctant to be without each other. Even if one was on watch without the other, as rare as it was, and they were forced to rest in their own quarters, it was only until the next sunrise. Then, they would be at each other's side once again.

Gil was the most sound sleeper of all of them. He was stretched out leisurely, one arm thrown up above his head by the pillow. The other, though, sat around the delicate waist of his bloodthirsty partner.

Thena slept quietly, as she did everything else. She barely moved when she breathed. It was frightening. And yet she was curled up in Gilgamesh's embrace, her head more on his shoulder than the pillow he was leaving her so much room upon anyway.

Ajak had no doubts; when the time came for her to set her children free, these two would not go their separate ways.

"Ajak."

Shit. Ajak made a face but came more into the room at the beckoning of her daughter, "I'm sorry."

Thena didn't so much as move, or even open her eyes to look at Ajak. But her hand on Gil's chest released the fistful of his shirt to leave her palm unoccupied. "You hover."

Thena had always been deeply perceptive, and Ajak knew very well why the Warrior Eternal's trust in her had never been in top form. "I...am worried about you all."

"Splitting up," she assumed more than asked, still speaking gently as her companion breathed deeply beside her.

"Yes," Ajak conceded, whispering as she tried to remember the sight of her children at peace. "I just want you to be safe, and to find happiness in your lives."

"You look at Gilgamesh more than the others."

No, she was looking at Thena more than the others. But of course Gilgamesh was always next to her, and her thoughts were also occupied by the Strongest Eternal.

Thena finally opened her eyes, moving only them over to Ajak, like a predator waiting for a sign to pounce. "If there is something concerning him I must know-"

"There isn't," Ajak said quickly, not that it made Thena settle. But she didn't have a cosmic blade pressed to her throat...yet. "I-"

"Ajak." Thena sat up partially, still leaning on Gil, whose arm tightened around her reflexively. She rubbed his chest to send him back into the deeper reaches of sleep. "If you know something, and it concerns Gilgamesh-"

Oh, it would concern him greatly.

Thena looked at her Prime, wide eyes shimmering green. "You must tell me."

If only she could.

"Please," Thena whispered, her voice trembling at the thought of something happening to the man next to her.

"Oh, my beautiful Thena," Ajak shook her head, walking closer just until she could bring her hands closer. She could see Thena's unease, but she let the glow of her hands alleviate some of the pressure in Thena's head. "Do not concern yourself with such things."

Thena's eyes drooped, lulled into sleep by her body's nervous system being manipulated. She eyed Ajak even in her fatigue, "if something happens-"

"You will have each other," Ajak promised, and that at least was not a lie. She pressed Thena's hand to Gilgamesh's heart again, "now rest."

The Warrior Eternal succumbed to Ajak's enchantment, her head falling to Gilgamesh's shoulder again. He tightened his hold on her, not roused from sleep but sensing something not right.

Ajak sighed as he cradled the woman he loved close. Soon it would be solely his duty and ability to charm the dangerous Eternal next to him into sleep. Her care and protection would be entirely up to him, and vice versa.

For now, all Ajak could do was check on her children each night and hope for peaceful days, one at a time.

#Thenamesh AU #a little calm before the storm #because I do kind of think that this happens #in most iterations #I for sure think Ajak knows Thena gets it most of the time #and of course Gilgamesh always goes with her #maybe one or two time she forbids him from it and it ends in disaster #she tells Arishem it is not an option #Thena doesn't trust Ajak and I will die on that hill #she trusts her...enough #she loves her mother #you can love someone and have mixed feelings about them #Thena doesn't know why but she knows that Ajak lies sometimes #just about some things #she just can't put her finger on them #and she usually doesn't care that much #unless it concerns her sweet Gilgamesh

[rui-drawsbox]

Oc's stuff

#the height chart is fron december but is always nice to have around #no one has a name yet ksbdns #picking names for ocs is my skill issue #rui draw smth #the story is a parody for the villainess/iseakai manwhas trend #and i love that trend but istg is ctrlc ctrlv #the protag is the daugther of the duke but he actually know that shes not her real daughter cuz she got a panic atk when reincanaited so #she spilled all the tea and now they're to send her back to her world #wich is never gonna happen cuz her brain is LITERALLY messed up for the mental regression and the duke lied and is never gonna send her bac #charming. isnt he #the male lead is the green/brown guy and hes a mage that is also the protag childhood friend. they get along but sometimes they're also lik #ml: shut up. fl: shut me up. ml: *throws a book at her*. and the end up in a fistfight/hj #the blondie is the female lead but shes lesbian and no one knows #has big fat crushes in every girl taller than her. so me tbh #and the redhead is the prince. the fifth actually. hes pathetic and a library rat #the plot is that there is no plot and everyone gets along in their episodic adventures #that's it with my tag rambling. didn't wanted to make a full post about that hahahaha. #rui's OC's #(new tag ig) #the blondie tagged wrong. shes the 'novel female lead' not the real female lead sjfbsmnd

[lanshappycorner]

im gonna meet my new roommate this weekend........i hope that they r normal

(ramble in the tags)

#for context last yr (or this yr . but last school yr) i had the most insane roommate #she was like an insane clean freak and she was also really loud and kept moving my stuff and I SUSPECT she even stole smth but idk #she also lied to me a lot and attempted to gaslight me to turn me on our other housemates . she made me cry multiple times </3 #i lived in an apt of 5 ppl and everyone all hated her but i shared a room with her. and the thing is that they all liked Me but not Her #so whenever there were arguments id end up having to be the middle ground like even when i went home for summer vacation #i was called over on the phone to solve household disputes bc yknow she only listened to me and i was the only person capable of not- #-like blowing up on her bc she'd say some pretty unreasonable things sometimes and my other housemates r all pretty hotheaded #(my roomie included) but i . i do not get angry like ever so im able to calmly deal with things #when i tell you i do not get angry ever im so srs i know i say shit on here but my housemates have never seen me angry even once in 2 yrs #but anyways sometimes my housemates take me out for drinks and theyre like are u sure ur okay lan how do u live with her 💀💀 #anyways yeah last yr was a shitshow i hope my roommate this yr is normal like just the bare minimum is fine #ive only ever had insane roommates like my first roommate was a party animal and shed come home drunk at like 4 am #there was even a pregnancy scare once but anyways at least i got along with her rly well #i miss her actually :((( #my second roommate tho. she scares me

[termagax]

having a comic idea in my brain but i dont wanna get up and sketch it but i cant write it in the way i want to because i am cursed to think in pictures but i cant. draw it rn.

#OH WELL. i just wanna know what their story mode journal entries would be like and i have some ideas #fish resents the entire concept of being forced to keep some kind of log and mostly uses it to complain about shit. l dear dumb diary #type shit like dear my stupid fucking diary that my stupid fucking boss is making me do. but they do actually do it because they cant bring #themselves to be mean to winston they just do it mad the whole time #they try to bother the boys into showing hir theirs and i think junkrats using his like a sketchbook to do little doodles instead of #actually writing anything and people just let him. maybe he lies and tells mercy he cant read so command just lets him get away w it #in my mind theres a tangential conversation where he has a lot of doodles of sojourn doing cool stuff and fish points out that he knows a #lot about overwatch and hes like yeah? i watched the old broadcasts as a kid. and theyre like ??????? how did you get a fucking tv in the #wasteland. and hes like OH well my mum was real handy where do you think i get my brilliance from. in my mind his mom was a tinkerer and a #fairly compassionate and decent woman who kind of taught him some of the basics before she died sometime when he was a kid/tween #anyways then they notice roadhog is spending a weirdly long time writing his and he wont show it to them so they just fucking wrassle it #away from him. i cant decide the funniest thing to be on there between genuinely journaling with a lot of emotion or hes writing some #shitty original novel or something. like brigs poetry where its just really bad but very earnest.

[cityandking]

amaryllis, lavender, poppy, rose for dai, minah and another you'd like to talk about!!

tyyyyyy // botanical headcanons

amaryllis: what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in? how do they express that pride?

DAI — he takes pride in his strength and his growth. he spent a lot of time working through how he sees the world and what his place is in it, which was hard and confusing and lonely work, but he also feels that it was good and important and that he's a better (and truer, and more solid) version of himself for having done it. I don't know if he externalizes that in any specific way, but he's definitely mentioned it in the dad letters MINAH — at the end of the day she really is a good thief! she worked hard to learn and hone those skills and they've served her well! she mostly expresses this by a) stealing shit and b) being quietly but extremely smug about it KELANI — the peace and equilibrium she's cultivated. it was such a struggle to achieve but she's so much better for it. every now and then this comes out as a "when I was your age" anecdote, but mostly (because pride is unbecoming) she accepts the satisfaction and lets it go.

lavender: how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust? once their trust is broken, how might one go about mending it?

DAI — he'd really like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but he's pretty wary these days. he gets protective, y'know? I do think it's still pretty easy to earn his trust, but now it's something that has to be earned, versus something he'll give out. as for breaking his trust, it depends on who's breaking it and what the breakage is—if it's someone he's close with, he's more than willing to give them a second (or third, or fourth—there area few people he'd let really push his boundaries) chance to prove themselves. if it's a stranger, good luck. MINAH — it's pretty easy to gain a surface level quid-pro-quo sort of trust. she'll return it easily too; she'll have your back in a fight and keep watch at night and spot a castmate and lie for you on a job. same with mending it—cover her watch, do something to show your apology, and she'll let it go. she's not much for petty grudges. but anything personal is hard. hard to gain, harder to mend. she's been burned before and has no interest in putting herself in such a vulnerable position as trusting someone else with any part of herself KELANI — easy! for one the Force is with her so she's magnificently good at vibe checks. for another, she's incredibly easygoing. she's been in positions where someone who shouldn't have trusted her did, and she kinda uses that as proof that people can be better when given your trust in return. (it's harder after order 66. the whole galaxy gets small and cold and selfish. but before that, even during the war, she held onto trust like it was faith.)

poppy: what comforts your muse?

DAI — zaref :) and the party, but also time alone to unwind. the sky. his dad's cooking. meditating in sunlight. his faith. MINAH — good theater. good art in general. money. a night at a nice inn with a lock on the door. the expanse of the open road. the troupe. cian's sleepytime tea KELANI — meditating. going places where the world is quiet and the Force is warm. her friends. her master. the jedi temple

rose: how much does your muse value other people? do they wish to have many friends, lovers, and/or associates? are they an easy person to love?

DAI — values people immensely, but likes to limit himself to a small group of close companions. too many is overwhelming; he values people for their individuality and the importance of a life but he doesn't want to get up close and personal with all of 'em. I think he's probably an easy person to love, but I'm biased. MINAH — she honestly values people a fair amount (and not just as marks). the care and concern she expresses for others is real—she worries about rhydian, she's sorry for making cian uncomfortable, she doesn't know what to do with riya's grief but she feels bad about it. but she tries to keep her distance—she doesn't want to get too involved with anyone or anything cause she doesn't want anyone or anything to get too involved with her. I think she's an easy person to like and a very hard person to love. KELANI — kel is entirely comprised of compassion. she's a jedi; it's kinda in the job description. she values other more than herself. also, she's never really thought about how many friends/associates she wants because she's part of the order; she has thousands of friends and companions across the galaxy. she never realized how much she took that for granted until they were gone. she's an easy person to love.

#I rolled for the third one and got kel :) been a minute huh #I was thinking about minah earlier and her deception mod and to be honest. tbqh. #I don't think minah knows how much she lies and deflects. obviously she does it consciously a lot but sometimes she does it automatically #and I think there's a degree to which it's so reflexive that she's lying about stuff to herself and not even noticing #which I love for her :) #anyway ty my dear!! these were fun! #memery #minah #daichi #kelani

[heroesriseandfall]

Cass is not a human lie detector…

#want to stab every story where cass is only there to be like ‘I looked at him he’s telling the truth’ and nothing else #she is still figuring out how to read her own emotions much less everyone elses #she’s extremely skilled don’t get me wrong I’m not saying she could never figure out any tells #but y’all David Cain lied to & manipulated her since she was born why would she not have at least a slightly messed up perception of reality #she is not an omniscient being & either way it’s weird to just use her as a lie detector #she is super insightful but sometimes she literally does not know what’s going on or what things mean & she can be totally wrong abt things #that actually makes her more fun and interesting #also there is no tell that perfectly translates only to telling the truth or lying #and she can do WAY cooler stuff then detect lies. she can dodge bullets :) #and she is sooo perfectly suited for jumping in front of too fast bullets to save her loved ones ooops #<- she thinks that is a good thing they do not agree ❤️ #welll don’t mind me I am sick & thinking abt cass 2night. i love herrr #cassandra cain #heroesriseandfall

[poppyseed799]

I feel like life series fanon jimmy is kind of mischaracterized and there’s an easy way to make sure you’re doing it right: he has a lot of unearned confidence

#the tags is where I’m going to ACTUALLY say stuff LOL!!! #but like I love life series Jimmy mkay. he’s got that curse of dying first and all. which is what I mean by fanon cuz curses aren’t real #but a lot of fans make it like Jimmy accepts the curse? or even acknowledges that it’s real. which bugs me a bit cuz No He Does Not #(side note tho. I’m not mad about it. I know ppl wanna explore the concept of someone cursed to die first and that’s what they’re doing) #but like Jimmy would just be so in denial about it okay. even if you managed to convince him he would be like ‘..BUT SURELY THIS TIME’ #and this relates to ranchers too. I love ranchers ok. mostly cuz my sister does tbh LMAOO she loves them. but ranchers fan content isn’t #what I’m looking for cuz it’s so often stuff like.. Jimmy being like ‘I’m sorry I’m cursed’ and Tango being like ‘it’s ok love u anyway’ #but it’s really more like ‘CURSED?? NO! WE WILL WIN!’ which I think is MORE fun for the aftermath of their death. meeting in the afterlife. #I NEED to see ranchers content where they keep denying that the curse is real then Jimmy dies and they’re ghosts or whatever and Jimmy’s #like ‘oh no. we didn’t break the curse. tango probably hates me now. he only liked me cuz we thought the curse wasn’t real.’ and tango to be #like upset at first as anyone would be when they die. but then he like notices the way Jimmy is acting and he’s like ‘no.. ranchers 4 life’ #???? what am I saying. hire me for writing fanfic I totally know what I’m doing. #anyways what I’m saying is Jimmy is the canary but he’s the canary that’s like ‘SURELY I can sing for the miners the whole way THIS time’ #he is NOT the canary who says ‘WELL time to eventually stop singing in this cave’ #HOWEVER I do think that although he has loads of unearned confidence and is in a constant state of denial. he does also have that crumble #sometimes. so it’s not totally ooc imo for him to act like that. but it would be rare moments and also mostly post death #ANOTHER SIDE NOTE I WANNA SAY. I HATE the way I’m saying this as if it’s fact. it’s my personal analysis and just because I think it’s right #doesn’t mean I want to present it as undeniable fact. I could be misinterpreting. if you want to interpret life!Jimmy’s character different #then go on ahead. I don’t hate fanon Jimmy I just wish I saw more like how I see him. that is all. #ok I lied I also wanna add that I’m bad at explaining things ESPECIALLY personalities so it’s possible that I didn’t convey what I wanted to #say properly too. sorry. OKAY NOW THAT IS ALL.

[menalez]

she's doing it again

https://www.tumblr.com/lionfloss/714587856710008832/havekat-is-a-terf?source=share

this assumption that IM the one going around sending ppl, mainly TRAs, messages about havekat is beyond insane and so unfounded. she has repeatedly fingerpointed at me & it’s borderline insulting how much she projects her own stupidity onto me. why would i be so stupid as to link *my own blog* to a bunch of TRAs & call myself a “fellow terf” or whatever that anon referred to me as? that’s also putting me at potential risk of harassment & if i wanted to be anonymous, i would’ve simply not linked my own blog??? like? it’s not adding up. at this point her incessant need to pin this on me after she repeatedly blatantly lied about me is making me suspicious of her. why does she want to push the idea that i’m behind this? is it to discredit what i’ve said and to paint me as malicious? im not gonna pretend to feel sorry for her or care that this is happening to her bc she had no issue being racist, lesbophobic, a compulsive liar, etc and then emotionally manipulating ppl to get away with it, but i’m also not invested in any of this enough to send anons to countless ppl about her.

if she wants to pretend that i made up her being rad-bad-etc i can happily unblock her and screen record me scrolling thru our dms bc i don’t take kindly to someone lying about me the way she lies about herself constantly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but other than that, i truly do not care half as much as she thinks i do, i dont check her blog & i don’t send ppl anons nevermind combing thru her notes on havekat to tell every blog that reblogged from her that they reblogged from a terf. unlike her, i don’t have the time nor energy for that.

#i’ve dmed like 1 mutual to tell her that rad-bad is racist. 1 person sometimes dms me the insane lies rad-bad continues to spew #that’s the extent of it. #havekat #she might be stupid enough to constantly talk to herself on her side blogs but i’m not stupid enough to send anons linking to my blog while #calling myself a terf. my blog has been subjected to more TRAs recently and anon hate from them bc of this too i reckon. #the anon behind it should come forward or sth bc i’m tired of her trying to act like it’s me. but for all we know she’s that anon herself.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

is it just the cogs of my brain whirring wildly or was bedelia kinda sorta in love with hannibal too?

#raj shitposting #i mean there must be a more concrete reason than just purely the fact that she got to live with hannibal that will hates her so much right? #idk sometimes it seems like she deliberately does what hannibal tells her to and deliberately lies to save him some amount of trouble. #her accompanying him rather than just killing him on the spot in antipasto is tantamount to her being acquiescent. #or as she put it for will... cooperative. her choosing to spare him in that moment was not wisdom it was foolishness. #and we've only seen two people being that foolish besides her. alana and will. jack was ignorant for a long time but he came to his senses. #and to be honest alana only got the threat of death because she dared to take away hannibal's dignity. ONLY because she was rude to him. #she really didn't have to “obfuscate” for him. she could have simply told jack that hannibal was fucked up when he asked her the first time #i think i realised that bedelia probably had some latent feelings about hannibal when will asked her why she lied for hannibal so much. #it was because of will that i realised that she perhaps along the way lost a “professional” perspective towards her relationship with him. #they were obviously friends before that but when she corrected hannibal once by telling him that they were not friends but colleagues... #my brain had already started working up on that she was trying not to fall for him and maybe that was the only way she thought she wouldn't #but she did anyway. and maybe that's the reason why will hates her. i mean he would know if she were in love with hannibal right? #it sometimes does feel like she wants to save him. she was kinda salty that will let hannibal surrender like that in their sessions. #i mean she was probably jealous of will which was why she was such an asshole to him. i don't find any other reason for her to act that way #i mean she is a psychiatrist you wouldn't expect her to lose her shit like that at someone. but she does. that too at will. like- #-it's too much of a coincidence to let it go. she could have ratted hannibal out any time but she doesn't. even though she had leverage. #i'm thinking too much about this man... sighs anyway #bedelia du maurier #miss will graham #hannibal #hannigram

[puppybearuniverse]

thinking about the tragedy that is never truly getting to be close with my family. i feel guilty about it sometimes. but then i remember how hard I've tried, my entire life, to connect. and i remember the things they did to me in return. and i remember that it's okay not to have a relationship with them.

#especially my sister. we were so close when she was younger. #then she fell down the alt right pipeline #then she got better! and we got along really well! #and now she lies and schemes and manipulates like it's her job. almost everyone i know fell victim to her wake in some way #and it sucks you know? because i feel like i knew her heart. but one day she just changed. #trying to kill me for having a friend over while she was at work was my last straw. #i spent years and months begging her to spend any amount of time with me. and when she entered her manipulate era i tried to distance #but i still felt so much love for her. i still felt the need to have some connection. #and then came november. after a month of me being gone - one of the first things she did was try to kill me. #because i had a friend over. while she was at work. #now i feel a dislike for her like i would anyone who acted so horribly. #i feel disgusted when she talks to our mother all sweet like she doesnt lie to her every day. #growing up she was the favourite and anyone can tell. #as an adult she uses that as best she can. #she's been watching total drama lately. i can hear it from her room. it used to be my favourite show when we were young. #i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if she cares. #it's so strange to feel the way i feel about all of this. #i want her to mourn our relationship the same way i do. i want her to remember that i tried and she had every chance to reciprocate. #i don't know. it's all so complicated. and sometimes it still hurts. #wiggle