#I just don't know why I haven't changed a single bit since Gallus left me

[dysonbradleyreblogs]

I think I just lost 2 good friends

#not a reblog #personal #vent #we were all part of this group thingy and we were doing a project and #I was kinda ultimately useless because of my inexperience and I felt uncomfortable because we were supporting someone who harassed me #and like I sent a message saying I quit basically but #what if it was too whiny? #what if I was super manipulative without even realizing it? #it's just like Gallus all over again #I had these really cool friends and ended up pushing them away because some responsibility scared me #have I really not changed at all? #they haven't messaged me since and I don't think they ever will again #I just kinda wish they'd yell at me or something so I'd know that they don't want to talk to me anymore #but now they're just. gone #I know this is my own doing #I know I screwed up #I just don't know why I haven't changed a single bit since Gallus left me #you'd think someone significant leaving you because you were a manipulative asshole would #idk #like #stop you from being a manipulative asshole? #they're such cool people too I feel so awful that they had to put up with me #especially after they helped me through tough times like how could I treat them like that? #and for what? some butthurt feelings and a grudge? #I can't keep a friendship to save my life