#I have so much saving up to do fr

[dragonseeds]

there’s a horrible sickness in me that makes me want to stop and replay da:i whenever i start a different game. how am i supposed to resist the story of my own unwilling apotheosis? especially as lavellan, who doesn’t believe in the maker and who has every right to hate and mistrust the chantry but chooses to use what power they have to try save people, to fix what’s broken, no matter how afraid they are or how careful they have to be. walking side by side with the great trickster god/adversary of your people without knowing, befriending him, changing his mind about this world but ultimately not his choice. he understands what’s happening to you because it happened to him once and he gives you his castle, built over the place where he sundered the world, and paints your story there in frescos that will last long after you’re gone and after the story has been retold and reshaped so many times that the truth of who you are and what you did is lost—just as he did his own story, which was lost and perverted by war and propaganda, and he shows all of this to you knowing you’ll understand because you’ve lived through something similar, grown into something larger than yourself and your true name, and it doesn’t change anything but. he wanted you to see him just for a moment, even if he can’t tell you everything (or almost anything) and you can’t save him—because he owes it to you as a someone who is a friend, almost an equal, and because there’s no one else left who knows: a direct result of what he did to your people and which he now seeks to undo at the cost of this world.

#dragon age #solas #literally i am ILL #i love religious trauma and stifling hypocrisy and walking carefully so carefully through a place i don’t belong but i’ve chosen to be #and questioning everything and losing and discovering myself over and over #and accidentally becoming friends with my work colleagues #and most importantly dating an actual god who is just a nerdy little guy who keeps fucking everything up #he’s such a liar but he wants to badly to tell the truth but he can’t he won’t #yet he only really lies through omission and speaks carefully so as not to give himself away #ok and also he very much wanted the anchor and manipulated that whole situation #but he also shows you who he is and tells you a sliver of the truth #and he didn’t have to do that! but he chose to—he wants you to see him and on some level to save him from his path i think #also i debated sooo long about the phrasing ‘almost an equal’ because i think he does consider everyone as worthy of life & choice as him! #but ultimately he is making the decisions of a god whether or not he acknowledges himself as one #he is deciding for a whole world—so i think there’s some cognitive dissonance there #and i went with almost #i’m fr stalled out in the middle of bg3 like i miss solas i miss my work friends

[rainbowpufflez]

“If I could go back, one thing I would do / Try to unravel, cut down, and unscrew / The first double helix that links me to you”

Wow, get a load of these guys. What’s wrong with them?

Also song inspo if anyone would like it! It’s where the top quote is from!

#drawing Gus sad made me feel like I was kicking an already sad wet cat why do I do this to him #supposed to be a weird dream sequence thing about a year later after the Geosenge Incident #believe it or not this piece is about Gus learning to move on #like my thought is that Gus has been trying to move on but he keeps finding Lys’s stuff or references to him #and after dreaming of Lys burning up (literally) and not being able to save him #he wakes up and finds he’s holding Lys’s coat #which finally leads him to finding all of Lys’s stuff around his apartment and throwing it all in a box to get rid of #and it would end with him finally grabbing the photo of him and Lys #and finally cutting him out of it #anyway I love them so much #I NEED THEM IN PAIN AND TORTURED #Gus gets to be happy and moved on later I promise #Lys either got his ass immortal or is dead beneath the rubble 💙 #idk what happened tho I heard one song and got locked in and had to draw toxic doomed pokemon yaoi #what the fuck is wrong with me? #yeah I have so many thoughts on those stupid guys fr #I WOULD LIKE THEM OUT OF MY BRAIN THO #PLZ LEMME GO I WANT OFF THIS TRAIN #professor sycamore #professor sycamore pokémon #augustine sycamore #lysandre pokemon #team flare lysandre #pokemon xy #Spotify #rainbowpufflez art tag

[suffarustuffaru]

i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)

#just thinking about this wip again………… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i #ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to #write ch1? :o #and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes. #just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and #all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit #nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed #o.o wild to think about….. #like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the #sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that #sort of thing. #not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i #also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc. #i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try #again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o #just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me. #suffaru post #saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH #my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET???? #in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏 #if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH

[dalkyeom]

— Chia! Chia! Chia’s Follow Forever

First of all, thank you so much for following me on my art journey! I wanted to do this when I hit 250 but suddenly there are nearly 300 of you and I need to do this before I hit 350 ;;; hehe don’t worry I’ll be doing another drawing/art related event soon

Believe it or not this is my first follow forever I’ve ever done and I’ve been here since my seedling years pls laugh at my joke /jk but I’m hoping it won’t be my last. I’m really happy with how this blog turned out bc I’ve met a lot of wonderful people on here since its creation (even if it was originally just to escape this hellsite’s basement for the lovely crime of constantly talking about Bang Chan)

Thank you so much again!! If this post is kinda long, I mayhaps went overboard with the blog recs (+ some messages to my friends/moots) but I would really love for them to receive love too so go go check them out!

a special section for my loveliest friends bc you make my stay on this site worthwhile. Also you’re a bunch of sweet people who make the most banger creations!! My social battery isn’t always the highest but I appreciate every interaction we have

@chanluster — Fia queen you’re probably gonna see this when you come back but I’ll never ever forget you as my first Stayblr friend. You’re crazy talented and you’re also so much fun to talk to and I love our conversations to no ends. Wherever you are I hope you’re having the best time and definitely we need to start writing our anti-hero skz fic soon!

@decembermoonskz , @sulfurcosmos — two of the sweetest stayblr writers whose works also blew me away 🥺 will never ever forget how your writings transported me to a world away from this one and live different lives each time. I find it cute how you both are also my assigned moon and star friends (izzy moon and starry ti) and you always leave the sweetest messages in the tags and asks :(( ty always for warming my heart

@chanstopher — my Chris loving era would never be the same without you! Even if it has quieted down to a mellow humm, I always go to you if I need anything skz related (Chan bubble updates and gifs of Chan’s Room especially) also somehow you really embody a compass! You’re always so kind and helpful to those around you, you make everyone feel so welcomed and I’m glad that I’m one of them (also idk if I ever told you but I was the anon asking where you buy pcs from lol) also I’m glad that being able to know you led me to another ult of mine; our beloved 13 shining diamonds bc if it was not for your beautiful Cheol gifs I probably wouldn’t have associated him with you = I won’t be as interested to check them out. Love you lots, Dreamy!! sending you all the twinkling night stars in the sky 🥰

@dokyeomblr and @aceofvernons — my precious elv and xanthe, i’m so glad to have the honor to call you my caratblr friends. You’ve both been nothing but welcoming and kind to me (and reblog the cutest games haha!) also tysm for gracing my dash always with treasures you find off caratblr. Always holding you both in the kyeom kyeom and bonon loving hours circle

@otlwoozi — oliveeer! Naur was so shocked to learn you were also @badhapple ‘s bc I adore your svt art when I see it make rounds on twt. I’m glad to see you around here too and I hope we get to interact lots more as well bc it’s been super fun when I read your tags hahaha and sharing svt - related dreams as well (manifesting you get more aside from the concert ones)

@ravixen @thepixelelf @leejungchans and @97-liners — another set of my favorite writers on this site and aaa— amg I find you all so cool, I’m glad to call you my caratblr friends as well <33 you writings always make me fall for ot13 deeper (amg especially for DOKYEOM AND SHUA MY BRAINROT NOW KNOWS NO BOUNDS! I am kissing your beautiful minds!) it’s always a pleasure drawing for you. If I had extra unlimited energy I would draw more and more bc your fics always serve as an inspiration

@lawleighette and @scoups-ofsuga — my cottage/outskirts friends oms it’s fun how we became a trio just recently but being your friend has been so much fun. Even if our convos are all over the place I’m glad that we’re strengthened by the bonon memes! And also some of the coolest artists ever like ??? sometimes I question why you were following me in the first place? I adore you lots though like you’re both my younger siblings <33 sending all the mwah mwahs and vernon memes later!

@shinstars @fenori and @zzzbookwormzzz — the og team! THE OG TEAM! It’s a wonder how we managed to stay connected for 5+ years like you’ve really seen it all. We still need to meet up at a cafe and draw together and that will be my lifelong wish granted! (you too Fenbro, tho we did went to a museum-cafe date already and it’s the most priceless memory I have this year) I love you three so much!!

@bedtimetelevision @mitchievousness and carloo (pls send help I forgot her tumblr) — my best friends in the entire world :(( I miss you guys everyday I hope we can see each other soon. I love you the most in the world even if our social batteries are the most whack! Lmao I live for our life updates every birthday. I hope we can do more adventures together when I get back there!! Love you love you love you more than 3000

to my anonies, I still think about you every day :(( especially Ash anon and 💝 anon (amg it’s been awhile since I went on my mocimori blog so I’m no longer sure if it was 💖 or 💝) and special mention @that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick tysm for sending me kind messages when I’m feeling down or simply to tell me you appreciate my art! They really make my days brighter <33 pspsps’ing my other nonnies without a siggy as well. I appreciate you guys sm!

My wonderful moots and friends from twitter! I hope to see you around here too:

@burabin @ilyarawan @remimilktea @wrenkkai @brwlvs @meiseos @kitsuunemi @silyue @champourado @goyangiprince @b3lchii @theooo-saurus @noisyspiritart @heartboiled-egg @shiohh

Special mention to these cc’s whose posts also never fail to brighten up my dash with svt-related content:

@shuatonin // @woozi // @97chwe // @injunnies // @caratonce // @scoups

#blog recs #follow forever roll #lmao if this is terribly long I just have a lot to say! #But fr fr thank you so much :(( if I had many hands and maybe lifted from burn out just a smidge!! I’d draw for days #And have much art to post but also I’m happy to drop thoughts now too without being scared it’ll ruin the aesthetic #Also if I miss anyone amg I will do a follow up on the next follow forever post #Me casting all the eggs in one basket! #Esp twt friends bc I have to catch up on all the migration posts oms! I have not been around! #ngl i wanted to mention everyone bc all the interactions are so special to me huhu but i shall save that for another time

[unproduciblesmackdown]

a decade later sure i'll put it into Text Post "tumblr user claims: plausibly may feasibly" form, starting with these classic screenshots i still have saved

this being dialogue from 2015's always watching: a marble hornets story, which is like hey this is a pretty well produced indie venture & you can sure like sit through it even if you then never watch it again b/c it's still kind of overly on the beaten path & "i'm not sure this choice is justified in much of anything" (see: bizarrely omnipresent thread of a love triangle just to be There; typical Mental Patient(tm) Harbinger; several real marked More Is Less instances arguably) that is still a better time than other random horror material i've seen & hated vs. only mostly been underwhelmed by but in an Overall Shrug way alone. yeah imdb's 4.7 out of 10 seems fair enough if you consider like 5 stars truly middle of the road solid if forgettable vs that anything < 7 stars is for [Bad!] or whatever

anyways the main character is named milo & indeed the creator(s) / actors / writers troy joseph & tim were involved in the production at all: tim at least by being the first step in doug jones's casting by reaching out directly (online), but troy & joseph also via Some writing, like in that slender game sequel also: not the Primary creators / writers, but still officially involved in the creative process at all. & i knew of them & they knew of me by this time & in a [source: dude just trust me] style of way, i, a tumblr user, am like "i think milo alwayswatching Could be named after me, milo unproduciblesmackdown. lol." b/c also like yeah i can take it on the chin if it's a coincidence, which is also likely. great name & it's just not being used enough in fictional & nonfictional people's names. you might also be aware that some role in tribetweIve is named milo (maybe the main guy. i never watched it) so you might also speculate it's named after that guy, which seems plausible also, But: afaik there are no other similar plausible shoutouts at all, to that series or to emh which was just as majorly like One Of Those 3 Biggest Online Series. may or may not add a grain of salt to take it with. like my own "of course, there's a grain of salt in 'milo just like me milo, and Uncoincidentally?' b/c how wouldn't there be. a name people have"

the dude just trust me argument: distilling it down to "i went to their first convention & then the same one the next year, & in these experiences i Know they knew of me from that + also online, where people knew my name was milo as well" and "it seems feasible enough it's an easter egg Not Coincidence that i first knew this character's name happened to also be milo b/c someone who experienced a clip sent me an ask about it, so they assumed it was a possible actual connection too lol." and, of course, it might be a fun coincidence after all. but i'm still like "yeah no it Could be a funny little shoutout to me specifically for real" and mean it and, again, i can endure it if i'm completely wrong. b/c who could care, and also b/c it's so funny that the character is a guy who basically just is like "i am going to have a bad attitude. b/c of the insistent tiresome love triangle thing. well now I'm insistently tiresome" and fucking everything up but like, sure. exasperating epic fail protagonists

the only relevance i think it has besides "to me, b/c i can go haha yeah. that might be like: just like me!!" is that it's Also plausible b/c yeah marble hornets Is the kind of series that might go "this could be an easter egg about some queer autistic tumblr user we know about" lmao, its Inherent Queerness both re: the material and in the creators' knowledge like yep that's how our Appreciators skew! like it's low stakes to be like [lol, Me. perhaps] b/c it's obviously of zero importance like it adds no info, i'm just some rando queer fan from back in the day, but it's this potential Fun Fact that's funny to know & it's about "yeah like they knew i was trans back then too & that it was like, amidst the MH Fans, like nobody's cishet man (shaggy rogers voice)" Gay Rights!

#marble hornets #It's Possible And Someone Should Say It #and like fr i'm saying it with a swagful humility b/c yeah ofc it feels like an overreach to be like ME Milo???? but it could be fr #and ofc it's just a funny little detail If So so it's also really not that much of a reach b/c nobody else could care one way or another #the only possible Reactions beyond ''main character named milo? this has zero extra meaning for me'' #is Me; Specifically going [gasp!] (which i did anyways b/c Pointing! & b/c yeah thee whole time it's like It Could Be Just Like Me Fr) #and tribetwelveheads going ''like as in tribetweIve?'' which like still maybe but gotta keep it real with you chief: Less Likely #it's funny if i'm right And it's funny if i'm wrong so like yeah ofc i'll Just Say It. i can endure in good humour if Knowing no it's not #and like i could just ask. but in my prior chitchatting with [Yeah We Know Of Each Other] quadruple A status #(amicable and/or allied acquaintance) like it just hasn't ever been much or really At All abt marble hornets or anything else ''official'' #yeah i Could barge into tim's dms like HEY do you MAYBE KNOW this trivia?? about MEEE??? but like. i'm not gonna lmao #i'm gonna be like: post more new kittycat pics worstie!!!! if anything. #or be like ''you're So right. recommend skinamarink to all past present future marble hornets fans'' hell yeah king #(as someone who Hypothetically enjoys horror; thus in actual practice virtually always hates horror. That Fr! sm good fckg food) #anyways like it can't possibly matter. sure just as plausibly a ''haha no it Is coincidental'' situation like & so i can endure that though #it's most plausible thanks to the [i did manage to make it to their first convention! a lot of fun. & i bought their mask] #like this fact was 99% irrelevant to Anyone Else; e.g. anyone online then or now #but it did boost making me a specific person the main creative / production trio guys Knew Of lol. being a queer autistic fan can do that #i also never use these screenshots lol but i did save them & still like just now stumble across them like oh yeah that guy! that Mystery! #we can keep it up for that mystique & ambiguity. & b/c again i have no cause to barge in at an A.A.A.A. like Answer My Trivia Boy!! #this would Also be funny but for the sake of any actual 4A rapport i will not be attempting it for Detached Jests #(conveniently this prevents me from bravely enduring taking it on the chin anyways! hence casually posting a Fun Fact. we'll never know) #also remembering i don't even have my name being milo on my blog header. But It Is

[todayisafridaynight]

STOP I OVERPLAYED ODE TO JOY WHILE LEARNING PIANO 😭😭😭😭😭

However! I am happy to share and am so glad you see the vision. Sorry In Advance to you and all your followers for the spam but here is a (mostly corrupted) office tour (please note the "Mine Power"-brand gym equipment):

P.S. I recall really liking The Wings of the Kirin, please enjoy!

EVERYONE OVERPLAYED ODE TO JOY GROWING UP IT CAME WITH YOUR PARENTS FORCING YOU TO LEARN THE PIANO LERKJALEKJ

BUT OH MY GOD NO DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT I thank you again for my life this is so important to me you have no idea

#fave #snap chats #'parents' more like my mom. #BUT YEAH I PLAYED ODE TO JOY ALL THE TIME GROWING UP TOO ITS WHY I HAD A STROKE AT THE END OF Y7 VLKALVJLK #getting the sims just to make mines apartment brb. fr tho why the fuck dont i have the sims thats Architecture Simulator #but more importantly i have a sick obsession with having the layout to buildings #i havent posted any of them but i have a bunch of sketches of various rooms/buildings in the RGG series #i dont imagine many people would want to see those so thats why i have them hoarded #obvi i ref them when drawing stuff but theyre also just fun to draw.... #THIS type of stuff is BEYOND valuable to me tho this is my crack. my cocaine even. i live for shit like this #my dad used to be involved with architecture and real estate so i'm gonna blame him for that #BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY im saving all of these theyre so so so important to me i cant thank you enough #im sure others will greatly appreciate these as well #even if it's a bit 'corrupted' i can definitely DEFINITELY salvage these #im going to laugh if he has his own gym equipment brand. is that what his company's done this entire time #was his 'research' just gettin fuckin yolked Cant Believe This #i wonder if mine has a bedroom somewhere though i cant imagine it being in the same room as the piano. unless rich people do that. #theres just so much dead space in that area aside from the piano and it looks like to be a pretty sizeable room.. PURELY just The Piano Roo #like its fuckin luigis mansion over here. not impossible i guess. very strange thing to have. esp if its connected to the GYM #its not even in connected to the main part of the office where you can realistically be like 'lets go into the next room for piano' #you gotta cut through the gym first bro what the fuck is this #but what are those closet-esque bits behind the piano? unless im blind. what purpose would you have to put a closet in a piano room #if its sheet music you keep that under the chair or something #even through the mesh it still looks like those lead to a skinny hallway... idk im rambling #ill study these more in depth later BUT THANK YOU AGAIN #OH BUT i'm about halfway through the movie so far and im def enjoyin it ! #i always like it in crime shows/movies where the answer seems Obvious at first but then as the case goes on its like #Oh God Wait. Hold On Let's Double Check #again i'm halfway through the movie but i always love it when i feel uncertain about the situation ☠️☠️ #it's just fun watching all the pieces come together so yeah im def enjoyin !

[kittlyns]

Just got a check from the IRS that cured my depression

#at least for a month or so 🥹 #apparently my taxes got fucked up so they owed me that + interest so girls.... fast food dollar menu is on me tonight ✨️ #no but fr I can make a substantial dent in my credit card debt and have a bit left over for savings which is HUGE #since the whole phone incident wiped me out #my mom was saying stupid shit like 'it gets bad before it gets better' but for once she was actually right. even if it's just briefly #I actually cannot stress how much this means to me and I think I might actually cry in a minute #I try not to complain much cuz I know there are so many people worse off than me but it really has been bad lately #and I don't really have anyone to talk to it about irl cuz my family can't help so they'll just feel bad and suggest I work more #and my friends are people who (while I love them dearly) HAVE family who are fully capable of helping them financially without trouble so #they're always like 'just ask ur mom' and I always have to explain that there is literally not a single member of my family who has savings #like I said I do love them but that is the one area that frustrates me the most. they joke about growing up poor when in reality they were #actually middle class and then I was born and raised well under the poverty line and don't remember a time we werent on WIC or food stamps #I'm a little bitter about it. esp because they still rely on family to help and that's never been nor is it going to be an option for me. #but whatever. little rant over. tonight I can go to bed knowing I can cover my bills this month and hopefully next month is better #time for me to go have a cathartic cry.

[fallen-juniper-leaves]

the new vash figure is really testing my money preservation skills

#trigun #he's so pretty... #but the price is as much as i paid for my genshin cosplay #and i am just. thinking... #because technically it's so insane to spend that much on a tiny guy you'll put in your room and look at sometimes #but then again #how many times have i worn my cosplay #to one con. so far #and next con I'll go as vash so #ughhh #my parents would think I'm insane #i am #i cannot be normal about this man right now #also someone near me is selling a vash for 60€ #the one with joints #hnggghngngn #i will start earning money in September. i shouldn't just shamelessly use up all i have saved #but then again i do technically have enough #saved up #liking things is expensive fr #but if i sell more shit on ebay.... hmmm #oh god i kbow what I'll do now right now #imma put stuff up on ebay and vinted let's gooo

[prosebushpatch]

Love the feeling of going back to a draft after a legit year and laughing out loud at shenanigans you forgot writing.

#rose and rambles #prosie's writing adventures #so i have a fairy tale series in the works and bonus points to whoever remembers this but #i did write book 2 once i finished book 1 #i just haven't touched it literally since writing the first draft and its been a year almost exactly #i finished it last august/september #and i went back to it to give a reread because ive known there were things i was going to fix so im getting prepared to do that #and the thing about the fairy tale series is i want each book to follow different protagonists and there's an overlapping narrative #that drags everyone together in the last book #and my antagonist from the first book makes an appearance near the end of the second book #because of background machinations #his name is robin and hes such a little jerk fr fr #but it was so funny because i forgot exactly what happens with him #and he ends up getting chased away by an arctic fox and theres a scream and were meant to assume he was frozen #and im like beautiful. love he gets frozen before the day is saved #poetic justice. BUT THEN AFTER THE THREAT IS NULLIFIED THE LITTLE BRAT POPS OUT LIKE 'NEVER FEAR I HAVE THE SOLUTION' COMPLETELY OKAY #I FORGOT THAT AND JUST STARTED LAUGHING #anyway the fear exists that this story is too self indulgent and it does need work still #but it got me to really laugh so you know what? that's enough rn #I love robin so much #hes meant to be the most pathetic antagonist but his ego is off the charts #and he's only fueled by petty revenge against a protag in the first book so he gets roped into a grander scheme by the main antagonist #he's just a delight #not to hang out with but to write and hopefully to read XD

[astrxealis]

i do not like tumblr much anymore again :(( anyways important stuff in the tags! but tldr just hmu if you want my discord or twitter, won't be gone from here completely but yeah <3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #rambled abt this on my sb but i will do so here as well! #anyways interaction is. absolute shit save for a few people whom i love but also #it's sad a lot are so inactive now it seems but yeah it's for numerous reasons ofc but also. in terms of thmblr interaction really #understandable! and rn this low interaction is .... the people i see quite often on dash literally never interact with my posts (it has #been literal months) and even when i was more active it would. also be that way #and it's just really disheartening even though i do things for myself first and foremost and i am not afraid to say i put myself #first before anybody else. it's just. disheartening and i do not enjoy my time on tumblr once again #and i hate twt but at the same time i love it and honestly interaction/algorithm is so much better #and it's thanks to the users as well! like yeah i don't get much interaction yet either but i know why that is #and i can help change that. with tumblr it's the fact that. it's just really like that and it fucking sucks #anyways if i disappear you know what's up bcs this site is. i love most of my mutuals but god it's so disheartening to be on here #so if any of you want my discord or twitter just hmu :] i won't be quitting this place but def will be much less active #it's so disheartening and especially disappointing that even if i take time to be interactive it often does not get uhh i do not get that #as well ... and theres a lot of factors in this all but yeah! love the people i still see interacting #even if it's not that much but some of y'all are active and just kinda. ignore shit fr. #you can do what you want but it feels... not nice considering yes and yes but in the end i'll just move to something better and leave them #behind ^^ </3 #honestly this is only about you if i have not seen a single interaction in months and i often see you on dash #and i can understand why some people are like that esp if theyre neurodivergent but. man. it's just :')) fjbejfbskdn <//3 #tbh i don't really hold anything against anyone but god idk maybe if its just that my timing is bad but things have been like this fo #pretty much a while even when inwas active and its really not that big of a deal but. i dont have the motivation to be here anymore #and that feels weird to me bcs it kind of basically just dropped from a steady high <//3 #its funny bcs i cannot get angry at others SOBS and at the same tim i feel bad for feeling bad but i know its important tyeah #bcs ik that i should not feel bad but at the same time. hm #anyways i think i should learn to hmm ..... im a really grateful person but my sight when it comes to yes things is a bit bad so i will impr #improve on that!! in any case gah i should continue on hw soon #ALSO BTW i really dont hold anything against anyone and this is really just my general thoughts and feelings #so dont think too much of it bcs its not that deep but i do think it is serious #those are synonymous yeah bit im using them differently in a way i hope makes sense

[saviourkingslut]

vent tags

#uuggh #friends invited me to a sleepover for a weekend #but it's literally on the other side of the country #and when i said i don't have much money rn #so i really don't want to pay for the train #one of them was like 'i can bring you' #and i was like. fuck. now im stuck bc he offered. #so i was like. ok. #and then it turns out he wants to pick me up. somewhere on like 2/3 of the journey #WHAT'S THE POINT THEN #this is gonna cost me 45 euros for a meet-up i don't even want to go to. kill me. #my mum got mad when i said id rather buy a game with this money than go out with this friend group rm #but it's the truth #like this means i cant buy the ezio trilogy for switch even tho i wanted to do that this month #mad abt it #appreciate people wanting me there but take the hint fr #i have money to do all this stuff but im saving up bc i want to go to venice in autumn #i live pretty frugal bc of it and then stuff like this happens. and i have to get a new passport too #costs 75 euros photos excluded. and i have to go to the hairdresser's... and probably pay for some xrays of my back/hips #yeah. i hate it here

[irrelevant-host]

just got barely 10 things at target and it was $100 I’m going to lose my mind

#why do I have so much anxiety about spending money but also WHY IS EVRYTHING SO EXPENSIVE TF #I went to get my brother cool things n crafts and get my dad bday gifts without crying afterwards #I try to hard to save my money and for what lol I can’t even spend it on myself or others #also leaving the house is nvr as enjoyable or helpful as I expect it to be I don’t want to do it ever again #I’m okay if it’s w my parents or siblings but by myself or w my brother when I have to be the one in charge is a Bad Time mentally #idk how I’m gonna be able to handle going back to school this summer I’m so scared and it’s embarrassing #and that itself is gonna be so much fuckint money I can’t do this #bout to give up fr what’s the point if I can’t leave the house don’t talk to anyone and can’t succeed lololol

[unproduciblesmackdown]

similar to the greentext stuff - i was visiting with my neighbors and their grandkids were around, and I said to this eight year old, "Hey, you wanna know something cool? I was playing the game when the Endermen came out." and his eyes went wide, like this kid looked like i told him i landed on the moon. His grandma thought it was really funny, and she said she has no idea what i'm talking about, but her grandbabies do, and that's incredible to her.

oh that's fun lmao, when minecraft & that update's existed for more than your whole life, and yknow being that young and like Next Year fr is this huge time scale away, a couple of years is a quarter of your life thus far and like maybe nigh half of the part of your life you actually have longterm memories for....i was checking out this dev's blog's archives about a:tdd's release in 2010 & in one entry they compared the implicitly Roughly concurrent release of Minecraft and i was like hey whoah. forever primarily being a game i've Heard Of more than any more direct exposure so i had no precise sense of [before minecraft release] [after minecraft release] Year 0 there but it's like for sure back in thee day when minecraft was a new thing, huh

#add in that [i also basically Heard Of mass effect but that's a game series w/a 2010 median which i had Any knowledge abt already] #so i have that reference point for a still like [niche video for When You've Played These Games For Sure] there but then like #if you were ten or even 5 yrs younger at the time you May Well Be much more at sea as your starting point there #(but i mean not that much; i didn't know a ton. reread those wikipedia plot summaries myself) #enderman came out? happy pride #shoutout to this one time i crossed paths w/this kid who was at the time probably like late middle school early high school age #who started talking abt pokemon like Clearly A Big Interest and i'm like my only Direct experience is playing pokemon go but i know Some #stuff b/c i was 5 in '99 when it was first making that huge splash lol. can make Some remarks....but also just Listening Attentively To You #Monologue like uh huh go off....i sure remember like the Sense of a couple yr's sagacity like being 9 i think reading a book abt 6th or 7th #graders (i.e. two or three yrs older) like My God They Must Be So Mature.... #and like ofc when skimming passages as an adult it's like omg l'enfants. Both Perspectives Being Accurate respectively lol #my vintage experiences like i've def saved things on the floppy discs of [save icons imagery]. have heard the dialup tones organically.... #but also; say; Home Computers That You Didn't Really Need To Know Much Abt Computers To Use were forever an everyday thing for me #having been born mid '90s....vs like in the '80s being nicher but also like. the programs to amateur code not being As Complex either #like [working on cars] of yore vs more modernly lmao....plus ofc in their designs; opening up a desktop Tower vs what? a tablet?? #ppl my age who had more substantial Online Access earlier than i did maybe having at least picked up some html; which i did not lol #also didn't have too much Gamer Experience ever; what i did largely desktop then laptop pc wasd+mouse style.... #didn't have a smartphone till maybe 5 yrs after they were starting to become more commonplace #vs that again to an 8 yr old of today [commonplacer smartphones] is your whole life basically too. i remember when we flipped those phones. #(i do fr lol. did have one of those first for a good while.) #granpa granpa....mh being fourteen yrs old meaning like the Teen Fans of Today were probably not watching it as it aired lol #whereas i Was that teen fan of those yesteryears. and all my stories for it like fuckin uhhhhhh [crickets chirping] [studio audience laugh] #though You Don't Need The Fans like mh is a long movie ppl can newly discover Whenever that holds up; plus it has bonus lore #mostly what i could even Possibly bring is just the particularly nicher older bonus lore. but like grandpa simpson (the simpsons) for sure #which is to say: humorously irrelevant & perhaps somewhat cantankerous #whilest i'm vaguely aware there may have also been that minecraft resurgence (esp through streaming?) from 2020 on.... #but evidently Like Mh something that continually revives / takes on New Fans / Participants #for sure i might well be playing some tf2 myself if i had the technical capability (i would have the poor personal ability i always did lol #real games of yore but it never gets old also. though i know Of Late there was a bot problem / just neglected maintenance? that get fixed? #These Have Been The Tag Tangents. maxed out thirty tags i know that's right

[todayisafridaynight]

In my head *cough, fantasies* RGG isn't so centered on their need to 'one game only' their villains, and allow the characters they already have to expand and grow beyond those games. (Ryuji-though he came back in Dead Souls, Mine, Aizawa) they do a good job making really compelling, interesting characters and then have to speed run to their demise. It's unfortunate, but I do understand they were operating with 'there might not be another game after this so we don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves' much of the time. Hell I don't even need redemption arcs, just..not having death be the only answer, if that makes sense? Or I just get to attached to the well-done villains. Heh. (chaoszonenate)

noooo it makes me sooo pissed actually just because kiryu (and even ichiban !!) Every Time preaches about people's capabilities to start over and so long as you have a will to go on you can right your wrongs but !!!! these fucks aren't ever given that chance and i'm over it !!!!!!!!!

if no redemption arc for them then at the very least let them go to jail idk- just stop killing them because the game's over

#snap chats #spoilers #because im going to get into spoilers becaUSE EVERY TIME THIS TOPIC'S BROUGHT UP WE KNOW WHAT I GOTTA SAY #AOKI'S DEATH WAS STILL THE DUMBEST AND STUPIDEST SHIT EVER LIKE UGH #aoki's death is LITERALLY like. the primest example of what is wrong with this trope from RGG #like the ending of Y7 could have been so beautiful and good and meaningful had aoki survived #take him to prison and let him start to atone for what he did the RIGHT way #UGH I GET SO MAD CAUSE IT WAS LOOKING SO GOOD TOWARDS THE END AND THEN KUME FUCKIN #CHEKHOV'S FUCKIN KUME I GUESS i hate this game so much #i hate this game because i love it so much BUT the ending the ending is literally the only thing stopping me from adoring Y7 1000% #that and the mirror face moment but like. Fine Whatever i'll look over it if it means joon-gi cancels aoki live on twitter #back to mine tho. cause i mean. We Know Me. i really wish he lived just to see daigo's reaction #like i can't even begin to imagine how daigo would react to learning about everything mine did- what mine was GOING to do too #GOD i really dont know.... i REALLY dont know because daigo's a good man but that's SUCH a big betrayal #i feel like kiryu would've accidentally wing manned for mine though yk what i mean #listen if he's willing to tell daigo mine wouldn't betray him then im sure he'd help daigo understand that like #Ok Mine's Deranged But We Can Fix Him :) like father like son you know GOD theyre idiots but i love them like family #ok im prob gon run out of tags if i keep going i can save all that fr a fanfic idk BYYYYEE

[milo-is-rambling]

I LOVE YOU PAST MILO -current Milo nauseas head in a sparkling clean toilet I cleaned literally a half hour ago and then got too high while celebrating how clean it looked and feel sick now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#but yipppee sparkly clean. gonna put a little sticky toilet gel thing on the inside while I’m in here #maybe throw up if another nausea wave comes before I can stand up 😭 #I had too much cereal and a lot of water at once and like. yuck yuck yuck I feel yucky high on the floor yucky I wish I was normal I need to #back off of weed a little to become a real person but also. I’d rather dig my own grave and bury myself in it alive than work a real job #like. fuckkkkkk I want to cry. fuck retail fuck fuck fuck I’m a failure wahhhhhhh I cant even handle beginner jobs #rattling the bars of my cage screaming crying throwing up why am I alive waahhhhhh okay nvm that’s too far it’s not that bad I’m chilling #the toilet is clean! look at the bright side. my therapist when I talked about like my mom maybe wanting to set a goal for working like a #certain amount of doordash hours and my therapists number she came up with was three hours and I was so happy like. she gets it. I am #exhausted just existing and she was like hmm you should work three hours a week. like. at most. #love her so much. it was probably a mistake but also. keeping it in my brain forever #imagine a three hour work week being backed up by my therapist to my mom like haha my therapist said I only HAVE to do three hours #god three hours still feels like a lot rn #like two weeks ago I dropped a salad in a tight packed restaurant and everyone watched me drop it and then walk back to the kitchen and wait #for them to make a salad so I could leave and fucking deliver the food and it was so embarassing and I haven’t done a single order since #then bc I get so anxious that I just exit the app if I don’t get an order like immediately which I haven’t yet so no orders. #I just get high. too high. and admire my cleaning work. it’s nice. I have to do the bathroom floor still. dog hair. dust. brother beard hair #my hair and bleach specks. I need to clean the bathroom fr. I’m excited I’m redecorating the bathroom in my mind and it’s giving me #motivation to clean it and I want to work more dooordash shifts (when I’m not this high) to save moneys to update my room and the bathroom #a little before the summer. just. replace air matress bc it’s low key a trigger now. so that’s fun. so buy a futon or smthing. and update #the bathroom into a thing that I like in my extra Milo type way. while making room for three ppl to share one bathroom. bc. it’s small #small bathroom for sure. but I’ll get it lookin good. add some cute decorations. maybe a candle or two. an incense thing for when I tak bath #slay. slay. building my dream bathroom in my mind and also. my Amazon wishlist land. and Pinterest land. I love making lists of things.