#I can tell you that it’s meant to represent how the stages of grief aren’t always cohesive

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

Overmorrow x The Bird series compilation 💚

#my art #overmorrow #overmorrow x the bird #charis oc #kh oc #the chokehold this song has had on me for literal months…well deserved tbh #I love how there’s like. /almost/ no cohesion between all of these #I can tell you that it’s meant to represent how the stages of grief aren’t always cohesive #but the truth is I just didn’t plan on this becoming a series 😅 #literally just worked with vibes. started drawing intuitively with each verse and stuff just happened #charis possessed me and made me draw her more. that’s what this really is #my ocs #my posts

[herstarburststories]

He didn’t make it to 42

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: it’s Dean’s birthday, you go to visit him with some news and things that need to be said.

A/N: Happy bday, De.

Warnings: so much angst, mentions of sex, hopeful/happy ending (?)

Dean’s dead. It’s Dean’s birthday and he’s dead. You can’t argue much.

Sam denied the demon blood inside him, and that didn’t stop its evil nature from growing and gasping for his fresh air to the point he was almost shocked alive. Dean denied his dad’s destructive methods’ results for the longest time, and that didn’t stop the cicatrixes in every emotion he had ever shown. You denied the absence of Dean and that didn’t stop the bricks cracking in your soul. There’s only so far you can go with your eyes closed.

So here you are. Standing in front of an empty grave. You are bigger than the dull tombstone, yet you can’t help but not to feel tall, at all. How can you even start to talk? Talking to Dean used to be easy even when it got hard and now you’re feeling like a lost kid in a supermarket. Your snide thinking spells out his name with venom, saying it isn’t easy for you to open your barmy mouth and spill out contrarian shit because this isn’t Dean, just another meaningless symbolism that Sam promises that will help. The real Dean died almost a year ago, he was burned in a hunter’s funeral, the flames dancing over his body as the smell of burnt meat invaded your nostrils. Whenever you try to remember his fragrance, that manly aroma which you loved to scent each morning, all your brain can come up with is the odor of his skin and guts burning. The smell lingers like bad perfume, it doesn’t matter how many times you wash yourself with his soap-- that only broke your heart worse.

But today is Dean’s birthday. He deserves a visit, even if it’s not him. Then you go and attempt to deal with the desolation, push it away just a little, and pick up something from the enormous pile of things you wish to tell Dean. You glance at the cold tombstone: Dean Winchester. 1979 - 2020. Beloved son, big brother, and husband. Hunter. A hero. Simple definitions that can never make it up for who he was and what he meant. You purse your lips and cough a little, a gentle wind touches your cheek so tenderly. If you were still a believer, you’d think this is some sort of sign, Dean’s presence or some other pious hoax. All you do now is to remain in quietude, a deep breath. Ultimately, your voice comes:

‘’You didn’t make it to forty two, huh?’’ You scoff humorless, reminiscing to the multiple days that Dean said he wouldn’t go past 35. He did live each year like it was the last--- you aren’t sure if it's such a good thing. If you carry on like your days are outnumbered, you are silently entertaining yourself until death's knock on your door. ‘’I always hated when you were right. Let’s be honest, you had the words of a pessimist and the wants of an optimist. Still, if you were to be right about something, it would be about a bad situation. A nest with too many vampires, how crappy the motel’s bedroom would be, or how that third glass of wine would make me tipsy. So yeah, I always hated when you were right. And look at you now! You aren’t right, you aren’t wrong. You are dead! And I’m the crazy girl screaming at an empty tombstone.’’

You let out a laugh empty of joy. That’s how a hunter’s life is: you die and people stop talking about you because it’s too sad or too long gone to hold any pity, meanwhile the ones who recall about you go loud with all the spirits in their heads. You put your hand in the pockets of the heavy leather jacket that once belonged to a green eyed man who would be turning 42 today, some strange force causing you to speak again.

‘’Wow.’’ You shake your head to the blue way you paint the scene until you notice that you never greeted him. ‘’Hey.’’ The simple word adds a comical insult to injury. ‘’Guess the dead don’t care about manners, huh?’’ You arch your eyebrows with a grin that demonstrates anything but happiness. ‘’Miracle died. Sam digged a hole next to the bunker and buried him there. He isn’t the same since you died, you know? Not the deceased dog-- Well, he wasn’t the same either. Always whining and scratching your door like a fucking cat, and sniffing your old boots. He made me company in your bed and I whined as much as he did when you didn’t come back home that day. He stood by the door most days, waiting for you to appear. I can’t judge him, I did the same.’’ You shrug, not caring about how risible that confession may look. It's true. You became as irrational as a loyal dog at some point in this sorrow. ‘’And Sam, your baby brother… I think he died with you right there, Dean. He didn’t try to bring you back as he promised, but I shouted and screamed so much. I said I would burn the bunker and throw Baby over a cliff if he didn’t-- if he didn’t let me try. I lived up to the mad woman title.’’

You are crestfallen, pacing on top of where the eldest Winchester - Sam’s brand new nomination -  supposedly was buried. You know your boots barely touch an infected land, there's no deceased man under your steps. The dead thing is in you.

‘’I spent days dragging your body everywhere and nowhere, anywhere I could catch a crumb of relief in hope to bring you back. But I couldn’t. Jack could, but that ungrateful idiot doesn’t wanna follow his grandpa steps and get too attached to mere humans, the creation or whatever. As if we are just some skin and bone to him, as if you are just another human.’’

You sit down on the tombstone, some tender solace in being close to a thing that's supposed to represent him, like sleeping hugged to a pillow or waking up to a photograph of his. Your nails sink against the gelid concrete at the thought of screaming into the sky for the new God that seemed as deaf as the last one. His calm answer to your burning pain. How he dared to tell you he knew what he was doing— as if he was the original lord and not a three years old. You can't make him do it, so you hold on the fury of some overthrown nation.

‘’Anyway, I couldn’t bring you back. Your body, well, you know how human anatomy works. Your body started to smell like death. We tried to stop with human and magic ways, and it wouldn’t work because you were dead. You should’ve seen the doctor’s face when we got you in that fancy hospital tha night. I think we traumatized the doctor with so much violence and trauma. She didn’t even give us a false hope or anything, you know? She just asked about organ donation of what was left. She just wanted to take every little thing out of you, as if you were just another accident on a Tuesday night.’’ Your shake your head as the memories and your points start to mix, it's hard to discern things and keep a straight line when you have an open wound in your insides. ‘’Well, they couldn’t bring you back to life, and neither could Rowena or whatever I looked for. Don’t be mad because I tried, Winchester. You know I’m too stubborn for my own good. I had to try.’’ you refuse to apologize, yet adds the playful words in his eulogy. ‘’But then your body started to stink and God, how could I continue to be so violent to your corpse? That was when I decided to listen to you for the first time and to Sam, so I let you go. I hate you for asking that.’’ What an ambiguous, contradictory truth to bare. You are glimpses of a person for months because of Dean Winchester, still have the energy to argue his selfless logic, just to love him even more. He's got your devotion, but man you can hate him sometimes. ‘’I hate you for going on that stupid hunt. I hate you for being dead, you giant idiot that I love so much.’’ You can't bring your mouth to say loved. "I was always telling you to let the past go and now I’m in love with a dead thing. What a comic way to end our history. I told you that Miracle died, right? I don’t know if dogs go to heaven, but I hope he’s in there with you. I wonder what your heaven is like. I bet it has Whiskey.''

Your dry chuckle makes your notice the tears in your eyes, glistening your orbs as they go like a waterfall to be absorbed by the thirsty land after leaving your cheeks.

"Sam and I-- We tried to make some sense out of this cruelty, but we can’t. You are dead and I can’t seem to put it past me. I still sleep in your bed, and I can still taste your body burning on the roof of my mouth in the quiet nights. I cried this morning because someone asked for a burger, can you believe that? It was so stupid since I used to shake my head and argue with you about cholesterol. Suddenly I was crying at lunch in a restaurant because some stupid kid asked for a burger with extra bacon. They sang Happy birthday to this dumbass child, and I interrupted with my awful crying, and wished that you were celebrating your birthday and not that kid. I guess you could say I wish death upon an innocent child with a problematic eating routine.’’ That was a whole new level of low, as if you are the one wrapped with the sentiment of laying six feet under.

‘’Everyone tells you about how grief is singular and particular with similar emotions that bring people who went through this together. They even have that crap stages thing and all that. You know what they don’t tell you?’’ Your mouth shuts for a moment, like you are waiting some response. You nod as if whatever you were expecting is handed to you. ‘’Grief can be fucking ridiculous. Who cries because of a burger full of oil and cardiac diseases? Who cries because they found a grocery store recipe under her dead boyfriend’s bed? Who falls on the ground screaming in the middle of the mall because they saw a flannel? Who? Those things are so stupid.’’ You smile like there's no tomorrow and the laugh leaving your lips is a treacherous tone. Perhaps you just aren't build up to express joy anymore. ‘’You see it in the movies and in the books and you think, you know, you think to yourself that grieving is being sad on special dates and randomly remembering the loved ones because of some screaming memory, like a flannel or their perfume. Thing is, it’s not just that. All your body seems so small, so tight for all the ache and agony inside it. Your senses go wild, you are not just one person in one place. You’re just the pain everywhere, like being pulled apart and you beg to jump in the fucking grave with them. At least you would be together, at least you would feel like one person and not suffering edges of a broken earthy thing. And--And you start remembering things you didn’t even know you had mesmerized. I look at the ceiling and remember you saying you’d paint it someday. I look at the kitchen and remember me screaming at you for giving Miracle the rest of the food. I smell Sam’s clothes and started crying because hey, they don’t smell like alcohol. You don’t iron them while drinking anymore, so of course they don’t smell like cheap beer.’’ You are chuckling through the tears and it only makes it more monstrous. ‘’Everything is you now that you are gone. Every man has something similar to you, every garden is green as your eyes, and each step sounds like you are coming home. They didn’t prepare me, not for this.’’ You said breathless. A soft single follows. The knife cuts both ways; the empty breeze and the words hurt. Where's the middle term? Where's the limbo? Where's the only safe place for you to rest your weary head?

Out of nowhere, you blurt out, ‘’I can’t masturbate,’’ I know it’s something stupid and even selfish to say, but I think you’d like to know. I can’t masturbate. That’s a part of the whole losing someone process that people are too ashamed to discuss, or maybe they don’t have the urge to be touched anymore because after someone you love dies, after someone-- the hands who touched are dead and cold, you become a haunted object. That’s how I feel most days, like I’m a haunted house because you touched me and now you’re dead and some days I believe I am too.’’ You look around the places. It's beautiful. It's lonely. It has trees and flowers and green. Not as green as Dean's eyes, but it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't even have eyes at this point. ‘’Well, I can’t masturbate. I can’t touch myself. And I can’t ask someone else either. I tried and ended up punching the guy, Dean. I swear. I panicked when he was between my legs and just punched his nose. You’d have liked it, you were always the jealous kind. I won’t admit that, but I thought it was kinda hot. Especially when you got possessive in sex.’’ A dirty grin appeared on your lips, the echoes of luxury lasting in your eyes for a brief moment. ‘’I don’t think I can be cared for anymore, honestly. Sam tried to hug me when Miracle died and I… It was like I wasn't there. I got frozen in time, and I live in my sleep. In my nightmares you are alive. I  dream about the day you died every week and I used to wake up screaming, but now those nightmares are the only proof you were alive now that you’re as dead as the police report says this time. It was the most painful, calamitous moment for you and I swear it was a nightmare for me, but then I realized that at least I had you there, egoistical or not, I made my nightmare into a dream.’’ You aren't sure which opinion Dean would have on that. Would he understand? Would he shake his head? You wish you can ask him just this one more thing, just beg him to write it down for you on how to be without him here.

You raise on your feet, glaring at the name craved in the concrete. The tears go by still, although they're as usual as the blood in glir veins at this point. ‘’Death is so silly. What it takes, anyway?" Each word conquers more inches of pure wrath. ''People die because they stumbled on their own feet and hit their head somewhere, or they drove their car too close and too fast to the cliff, or because they were giving birth, or because they dated the wrong person, or because they were hunting a fucking vampire and got impaled. What are the chances? How stupid, and idiotic is death? Always creeping and waiting to bite and chew a piece of you-- Taking every scrap of you from me like that’s its right.’’ You are screaming, starting to kick and punch the tombstone with any piece of straight you have. Your limbs hurt and the blood is visible, but you keep going. ‘’YOUR STUPID DOG DIED, DEAN! AND YOU DIED! AND I DIED! SAMMY DIED! YEAH, IS SAID SAMMY! GO AHEAD, TELL ME ONLY YOU CAN CALL HIM THAT.’’ Another punch, your knuckles are ripped. Another kick, your boot as a hole. ‘’DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.’’ Kick. ‘’SAMMY, SAMMY, SAMMY!’’ A punch to each name. Anything to get a reaction, to get comfort. Anything. ‘’YOU CAN’T BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.’’ Gasping for something you don't need anymore, sweet oxygen, your eyes are on the tombstone again. And the definitions. And the trees. Your body is sore and aching. It is the kind and coercion no person wants which you needed; the freedom of feeling outside the exact pain that was inside. ‘’You can’t because you are dead. I’ve been playing some sick games in my mind, you know? Sam stopped hunting and had his closure. He was always better at letting go than you and I, but he’s still hurting. I never saw him hurting so much. I think he knows you won’t come back this time, how could you make us promise something like that?  Well, my twisted game is a bunch of misleading what ifs. What if you hadn’t gone after John? What if you hadn’t gone on that last hunt? What if you had stayed with Lisa? At first I didn’t like her much. Jealous, I admit that. But she grew on me. She gave you something I couldn’t back then and I’ll always be thankful for that. And even though it would rip me apart, I’d rather you to die at sixth after living your suburban dream with her. Have another kid besides Ben, maybe a girl this time, and just have that apple pie life. You and Sam would live close and your kids would always play. They’d be as close as brothers. Maybe I’d get a guy and bring my own kids and we could’ve a barbecue and everyone would be happy. But we don’t get soft epilogues here. It ends how it starts, right? Bloody and desperate. I thought maybe, maybe Lisa could understand what’s going through my head now. I drove to her new address and parked close to her house. I must have spent hours there, thinking if I should come in or not, If she somehow remembered after Castiel died or if I could make her brain work again if I told her the truth. But then I just drove back home and fell asleep wrapped in that stupid lumberjack flannel of yours. The one I always mocked, yeah? She may understand me, but I know you wouldn’t want that. You want her, you want me and Sam to be happy. I don’t know if I can do that, Dean. It’s like myt brittle soul shrewd and my body is just waiting to collapse.’’ You signed, overwhelmed by the battle without an anthem. The victory with no triumph. Is it still a win when you don't have someone to come home too? ‘’Your dog died, it’s the first birthday you didn’t live to see, and I bought all the things you told Mrs Butters you wanted for your birthday because it’s your birthday. I just don’t know how to celebrate it with you dead. People stop counting after they die, right? They just say he’d have been 42 or he died at 41. They give melancholy smiles when they wake up and check the day on their phones and a woe atmosphere swallows them for the rest of the day. Then they get better the next day. I think everyday is your birthday.’’ You attempt to wipe away your tears, which only causes your pulsating hand to stain your face red. ‘’Dean, for the first time, what died stayed dead! Congrats.’’ Once again, a hysterical laugh. ‘’I wish but no. What died didn’t stay dead, you are alive, so alive in my head. I swear you are there some days. I wake and watch the door, so sure you’ll come back. Sam says I’m living in delusion and I have to wake up and keep going since that's what you would want. That's enough to make him keep going, but it only makes me angry. Everyone we know and some strangers looks at me like I'm a house on fire and no longer a warm home, like I'm a car accident. They think I don't notice but I do.’’ You look at your boots, the whole is rolling out blood like your hands. You feel closer to Dean. How sick.

‘’Help, I’m still right where you left me." You plea, his love lingering like a bruise. ''I think gravity is overwhelming and it keeps me here. Sometimes it’s like I’m one of those dusted books Sam used to read. Or those Bukowski ones that you hid, so we wouldn’t see how smart you’re. You tried so hard to hide your intelligence because you didn’t think you were entitled to it. You saw yourself as the protector and never the valuable one for protection. You, the man who made an EMF out of an old radio, who rebuilt the Impala from the ground multiple times, and who knew patterns better than any detective. The man who showed me I could rely on someone other than myself. The dude with a lopsided grin, tough hands and a heart of gold. I miss you so much. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing all those classic rock songs and Taylor Swift pop hits, while I drove here. I would think you were home, smelling like guts because you wanted to eat before taking a shower after a hunt. I would think that you are in the Deancave, waiting for me to curl up on your lap to watch Scooby Doo or Doctor Sexy MD until we aren’t watching anymore. If I didn’t know better I would think no death could take you from me. There would be no tear us apart in our vows.’’ The only thing that keeps your organism working is that Dean died knowing how much you loved him. You never let this talk for later or never. No tomorrow is promised. That's a nice comfort, maybe that's what will help you to let go in the future. ‘’But yesterday your stupid, skink dog died and I lost the last living thing that I had from you. You know what’s more angerting? I cried and Sam cried and I noticed we were the living things you left behind and all we have is each other. All your closets of backlogged dreams were left for us-- so yeah. Sam is done hunting and he’s met a lovely girl, and they are moving in like in your domestic dreams. I’m taking care of the family business like your other contradictory dream and making sure Sam is safe enough to be normal. Because I have to, we have too. Stupidly enough, I still wait for the day you’ll burst out the door and tell us to hit the road again. I still watch every episode of your dumb tv shows to make sure I’ll know everything that happened when you ask. I still drive around in your car and close my eyes when the street is calm, only picturing you driving as Baby’s engineers go wild but those are my hands on the steering wheel. If I didn't know better, I’d think you are still around. But I know better. I still feel you all around. I love you.’’

Your monologuing ends as astutely as it stated. You get up, press a kiss to your ruined for the next weeks hands and place it on the rock with writings. You turn around and walk back to the car that you parked near, only in case of Dean wanting to see Baby. How knows? You and your clandestine faith. You lick your lip and get in the car.

You swear you the AC/DC cassette wasn't there before, but when you turn on the car and the radio it starts playing. It's the first true smile that comes to your mouth, it's bloodstained and you look like a shameless woman. With that you can deal.

It hurts a bearable hurt for now. You didn't think it was possible. Maybe someday.

The end.

(she takes a little longer to arive in heaven than sammy. his baby brother says that women are most likely to live around six years more than men. it doesn't ease him up, though. dean waited sam for too long, his platonic soulmate. and now he has to wait his romantic one too? the eldest Winchester considers it the best earthly present when the he sense you around, that smell of orange and apples. it's you, he knows before even turning around. he can't wait to love you again. your name rolls off your tongue so naturally, as if you had seen each other just yesterday: ‘’hey, y/n.’’)

But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?

REBLOG AND COMMENT. Feedback is magic and helps me!

Starburst's footnote: It just didn't feel right to make an author's note on the top. I wanted it all only to be an arrow to the story. So, this is my side note: it's six am and I'm up writing this after inspiration kissed me with a bruise in the middle of the night. Or more like grabbed my throat. Anyway, I had to write and finish this one to post today, even pushing sleep aside. Hey, we are writers, that's what we do! I've been watching the show since I was eleven and I cried like a baby with the finale. This series was just so important and crucial to molde aspects of relationships for me. The song marjorie by Taylor Swift was used here, and so was the line "you got my devotion/ but man, I can hate you sometimes" by Harry Styles. I told you guys I would use it somewhere! A special thanks to @msmarvelouswinchester​ who helped me with her encouraging and opinon. You are the best! And with all of this I wanna say: Happy bday, Dean Winchester!

REBLOG AND COMMENT! Feedback is magic! Especially about this fic, I’d like to know your opinion. Tags in the reblog! Send an ask or dm to get in the taglist.

#dean winchester #dean's birthday #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester's birthday #dean winchester x you #supernatural #spn #dean winchester imagine #supernatural imagines #spn reader insert #dean winchester headcanon #dean winchester imagines

[heresince93]

Gillian Anderson Sunday Times Interview Transcript

There is a moment in the second series of Netflix’s Sex Education when Gillian Anderson’s character, Jean, sighs a deep resigned sigh as she is lying in bed one morning and spots the messy pile of small change her latest lover, Jakob, has left on her bedside table.

It’s my favourite moment of this uplifting show about the tangled love lives of British secondary school teens that manages to appeal to both parents and adolescents alike. Anderson plays the outrageously inappropriate sex therapist Jean Milburn, a stylish, confident single mother.

The sight of those coins will resonate with any woman of Anderson’s age and stage of life (she is 51), whatever kind of relationship they are in.These pennies, a symbol of how untidy life gets and the constant imposing presence of someone else even when they aren’t in the room, represent for Jean the gradual realisation that the excitement of a new love soon becomes tempered by the boring bits.

For those of us who have been married a while, the coins are perhaps the equivalent of the dull domesticity of picking up the shirt always dropped on the floor or the wet towels you always end up refolding after your teens have left them near but not on the bathroom radiator. Anderson and I chat about this a lot when we meet to talk about the second series of Sex Education, given that we are both working mothers in our early fifties.

The actress, who is most recognised for her role as Scully in The X-Files, is twice divorced and has three children, Piper, 25, Oscar, 13, Felix, 11, all of whom live with her in London. Her partner of three years is the playwright, screenwriter and creator of The Crown, Peter Morgan, himself a father of five.

In person Anderson is chatty and witty, aloof and friendly at the same time, a peculiarly feline trait that I often encounter in driven, confident women who have reached midlife. Tell me about Jakob and the coins, I say, what is it like starting a new relationship in your forties, compared with your twenties?

“It’s very different,” she says. “I think you are more fully formed, especially if you have taken time out of previous relationships to find yourself.

“Early on after the break-up of my last relationship and before my current one, somebody encouraged me to write a list of needs and wants in a future partner. Needs are non-negotiable. If you go on a date with someone and realise they won’t meet, say, three of those needs, then they are not the person for you. It may last as a relationship, but it won’t make you happy. Wants are easier, not more frivolous per se, but easier to deliver. Doing this made it clear to me going forward who would be good for me in a relationship.

“And there is a new creativity nowadays to what a relationship should look like, too. For instance, my partner and I don’t live together. If we did, that would be the end of us. It works so well as it is, it feels so special when we do come together. And when I am with my kids, I can be completely there for them. It’s exciting. We choose when to be together. There is nothing locking us in, nothing that brings up that fear of ‘Oh gosh, I can’t leave because what will happen to the house, how will we separate?’. I start to miss the person I want to be with, which is a lovely feeling. And it is so huge for me to be able to see a pair of trousers left lying on the floor at my partner’s house and to step over them and not feel it is my job to do something about it!”

I’ve never interviewed a celebrity who, even though she is wearing heels (little pointy white boots) is still shorter than me (I’m barely 5ft 2in), but Anderson is tiny. This is only important to note, I think, because her roles since Dana Scully have been so big and so powerful: Blanche in A Street Car Named Desire and Margo Channing in All About Eve on stage; Lady Mountbatten in the film Viceroy’s House; Stella Gibson in The Fall; and now Jean Milburn.

I wonder if she is perhaps filed under “tricky, unpredictable, charismatic, spiky, intelligent and fearless woman” in the casting director’s directory of suitable roles. After all, her next part is going to be Margaret Thatcher (in The Crown). And when she arrives for our chat in the closed Chinese restaurant of a central London hotel, she apologises for the sticky mess in her hair caused by wearing the Iron Lady’s wig the previous day. Her nails are manicured pale pink like Thatcher’s too.

“She had a condition that meant two fingers of each hand would curl around — Reagan had it too — so it affected her gestures and she would wear lots of rings and bracelets to distract. But she kept her nails long, which is how I have to keep them now,” Anderson says. She is fascinated by Thatcher, concluding, after studying her childhood, that “nobody ever existed like her. She was unique.”

Anderson might be unique herself, and despite giving many interviews (three last year), I see that she has been smart and managed to remain a bit of an enigma. When I listen back to the tape, she is very good at general talk, but not so hot on specifics.

She spent her early years in north London with her American parents before going back to Michigan for high school. She was a teenage punk plagued by panic attacks that have continued to trouble her over the years, particularly during her intense work schedule on The X-Files. She went into therapy at 14, then became world famous at 25, and had her first child at 26 (the same age her parents had her, before going on to have her two siblings 12 years later). She split up with her first husband three years after that.

In 2011 she endured the death of her brother, Aaron, aged 30, from a brain tumour, which she rarely discusses. She is an impressive activist, campaigning for a variety of issues including women’s rights in Afghanistan, Burma, South Africa, Uganda and South America. There are 10 charities she has worked with listed on her website, and in 2017 she co-wrote We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere, a well-received book of advice for women. She has also designed two small fashion collections for Winser London, which include some gorgeous silky blouses. I found I had three in my wardrobe without knowing they were hers.

She is a Bafta nominee and Golden Globe winner, and Neil Gaiman, who cast her in the TV series of his book American Gods, said: “She is in this strange place where everything exists in the shadow of Scully, yet she is bigger and better than that.”

When I listen to her 2003 Desert Island Discs, though, she tells a darker story. In between Radiohead and Jeff Buckley, she talks of troubled mental health that she has worked ferociously hard to improve. She has been in therapy for more than 30 years.

Anderson tells me she has been teetotal since her early twenties and despite some mild probing on my part is reluctant to elaborate on exactly why. I understand. She has soon-to-be teenage children who don’t need to know about any of the “dangerous things” she has done, as she described them to Sue Lawley.

I’m fascinated by Anderson and can see why she was the perfect person to cast as the quirky, funny therapist Jean in Sex Education, which really hits its stride in the second series. While still a comedy at heart, the subject matter tackled by its fantastic young cast is revelatory. Sex Education is one of the first productions to hire an intimacy director to make the young actors feel comfortable and process what they were doing, often naked in front of multiple cameras, to be happy and authentic about what they did and feel they had input.

Anal sex, drugs, masturbation, STDs and nudity feature graphically in this show, which I would advise all parents and teens to watch, though not at the same time — only Jean would do that. When I interview Anderson I have yet to see the finale, but Jean’s journey is that of many women in the middle of their lives after divorce with teenage children.

“There’s a grief, isn’t there?” Anderson says as we discuss the menopause. “I haven’t quite got to the place where I don’t have my eggs, but your body is going to mourn that, isn’t it? I remember the very last time I breastfed and it was heartbreaking. I wept and wept through it.

“And I know people who describe particularly difficult periods at home without realising they are describing their mothers going through the menopause.

“We’re all at the point where we’re kicking off just as our teenage children are kicking off. I was looking at some home videos of Piper when she was three and wondering where all my patience came from in my twenties. I have forgotten that version of me.”

She says she doesn’t feel quite ready for her two boys to become teenagers, but sometimes Jean slips into their conversations at home.

“I find myself saying something embarrassing at the dinner table and I don’t know if it is me or if Jean has given me the licence to say that. Maybe I have always been that way, though. Some of what she shares is too much information. I wouldn’t share it, even with my eldest in her twenties. But my son came home after having a sex education class and I completely clammed up. I couldn’t bring myself to continue the conversation. I just let it die. I really don’t know why.”

Over the years Anderson has tried to schedule her roles to fit in with her children, but like many of us who have devoted much of our time to careers, she still lives with nagging doubts about doing the right thing.

How did you deal with a small child while filming back-to-back episodes of The X-Files for 16 hours a day, I ask, especially when you decided to go it alone as a mum. “I missed her, really so much. Those moments when you see a small child in the street when you are apart from yours and the conversation just drops, it’s hard. She was on a plane a lot when she was six and we moved production to the West Coast. I justified that, I mean it was selfish on my part. I just could not imagine being away from her for long periods of time.

“I became obsessed with schedules, and I still am because of that time. I would plan and colour-code everything, make a series of propositions about schedules so I could see her, and the show would either reject or accept them.

“With the boys the longest I have been away from them was during the two X-Files movies, but again I would be travelling constantly to see them.”

I ask her if she regrets working so hard. “Not yet,” she says. “I have a feeling that will come. I definitely feel like on a level I do regret Piper flying back [to her dad, when she was six] as an unaccompanied minor.” We sit in silence for a bit, mulling over the thought.

“But there’s another version of my life where I could have worked less, had a smaller life and been more present as a parent. I could have chosen that, that could happen. But sometimes it feels like why would you, if you keep getting work as an actor, doing things you dreamt of doing and being offered incredible roles at this age, while paying the bills, and you still get to see them a huge percentage of the time and they witness a mother enjoying her work?”

She has talked to her daughter about it, but says Piper is not yet at the place where the lightbulb goes on and she realises Mum was still up at 6am the days she faced 16 hours of work to be with her, or those days we all have when we are still on the edge of the sports pitch, despite the demands of a job.

But Anderson is an all-or-nothing personality. She tells me she is either on a healthy eating plan, meditating and working out or hiding like a hermit at home eating chocolate. She has been plagued by frozen shoulders all her life, leading to months of pain-filled insomnia and cortisone injections.

“My default position is sedentary,” she tells me when I ask about her meditating and yoga right now. “I like being in bed in my PJs. When I’m working, like right now, I seem to exist mostly on chocolate. Then I go through a stage when I feel dreadful and I review it all and start a food plan, torture myself counting shots of milk and all that.

“In the cycle of all or nothing, I am in the nothing phase right now. It has gone on for quite some time, but I think I am better to be around. I was having lunch with my daughter and we were just, you know, eating, not asking for stuff without oils or sugar, and she said, ‘It’s so much better when you are not in that place.’ ”

I’ve enjoyed my hour with Anderson; she is likeable and thoughtful. I sort of hope we’ll meet again one day. It’s unlikely she’ll read the interview; she has said before that she rarely does. So what do I think as I walk away from her? I’m impressed by her curious nature and, obviously, her sense of style, a blueprint for us all at this stage of life, but mostly I’m inspired by her strong sense of self. It has obviously taken quite a bit of work for her to get there, but from what I can see, it has been worth it.

@GillianA

Sex Education series 2 is available on Netflix from Friday

Hair: James Rowe at Bryant Artists. Make-up: Mary Greenwell at Premier Hair and Make-up. Nails: Saffron Goddard at Saint Luke using Sisley Hand Care

#gillian anderson #sunday times #interview

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!

Emily Kate

Toronto-based recording artist, Emily Kate perfectly bridges the gap between country and pop with her unique sound and lyrical storytelling. Pulling from real life experiences, her music conveys relatable thoughtful messages weaved with fresh, soulful melodies. Her meaning filled lyrics coupled with her warm sound is often described as Kelsea Ballerini meets a motivational speaker. She has just released her new EP All In. “These songs have taught me how to love myself, feel inspired, chase my dreams, have fun and grow as a person,” says Emily. “They've been my reminder and helped me through heartbreaks, insecurities, and now they get to be yours. All In features a track which I wrote the morning after a fun night out. This upbeat song is about going out with friends and meeting someone who takes your breath away. Its lyrics are a twist on the common saying, you had me at hello, and instead, this song is about someone having you ‘The Whole Time.’” Listen below.

Emily Kate · The Whole Time

Jordana Talsky

Jordana Talsky is a singer-songwriter and vocal looper who fuses multi-genre influences into her own sound. She accompanies herself by voice with a Roland Boss RC505 loop station. Her ethos is to incorporate digital means into live performance in an organic way, and with the loop machine, she creates a choir on the spot with no pre-recorded parts. Her new single ‘Oh Yeah,’ represents a moment of awakening, like when you remember something you had forgotten about a dream that all of a sudden comes back in a flash, a moment to stand outside of yourself and contemplate, embrace, and inquire of your life. “It takes work, all the time, to choose not to look away and to be honest with ourselves,” says Jordana. “These moments, delicate and challenging, are insights into our authentic selves, that may offer a fresh vantage point from which we can choose to heal and evolve. Inspirational, fun and harmony-rich indie-pop, ‘Oh Yeah’ is about listening to your inner voice and taking faith in the spark you uncovered deep within you.” Listen below.

Jordana Talsky · Oh Yeah

Nimkish

To fully immerse in the multitudes of rising queer Indigenous star, Nimkish, is to honour the past, look ahead to the future, and bask in the resplendent present all at once. The Vancouver-based artist is fearless in her lyricism, confronting anti-Indigenous racism and colonial violence alongside other hard subjects like anxiety, grief and heartache. To the great tradition of singer-songwriters healing through their music, Nimkish brings a bright-eyed aim to flourish in all she has experienced. Nimkish’s lyrics give affirmation to past pain while living in the moment. To some it may sound like escapism, to others it may sound like moxie-driven R&B-pop pulsing through the club. What’s certain is her fortitude — she’s on a mission, combining the coolness and creativity of the TikTok generation with the lucidity and confidence of a grown woman. Nimkish’s anthemic new single, ‘YSB,’ features ASCXNSION and is about the need for healing, freedom, and to be heard. "’YSB’ is about the need for healing, freedom, and to be heard,” explains Nimkish. “Are you listening? Do you hear me? Am I screaming out into nothing? This song is about feeling like you can't get ahead, and specific issues that we as Indigenous women work through on a daily basis. Our generation has been left to deal with trauma and we are continually fighting for equity. It can feel exhausting to constantly try to be truly heard. I wanted to go deeper on this project and write about real shit. What we have created is anthemic, resilient, and confrontational, despite the vulnerability that it took to write about our lived experiences. This release is about showcasing Indigenous excellence and the need to amplify our voices. Our time is now – the future is Indigenous.” Listen below.

NIMKISH · YSB (feat. ASCXNSION)

Tana

Tana is an artist, writer and a topliner with charge and a unique flair for lyrics and melody. Her rich and diverse views on gay culture, have strongly influenced her musical and personal journey. Tana’s music is unapologetic, revolutionary, and liberating. At heart, Tana is a true artist, and is inspired by many things around her - people, sexuality, her heritage (being half Italian and Nigerian), the city she grew up in, and the LGBT community. She places diversity at heart and aims to make music that relates to the masses, whilst pushing her creativity at all times. Her array of influences create new ideas and sounds that break traditional boundaries. Think Halsey & The Weekend. She has just released her new single ‘Bad Habits (Keep On Coming)’. Tana says of the track: “I wrote ‘Bad Habits (Keep On Coming)’ over lockdown, and it’s about wanting to grow from a toxic relationship. I found myself holding onto flaws and limitations that really effected my personal growth, and writing about it helped me recognise these issues and learn from this experience.” Listen below.

Love Crumbs

Love Crumbs is a folk-rock and Americana group based in Massachusetts. Known for blending poignant lyrics with evocative vocal storytelling, their nostalgic, timeless, heart-on-sleeve sound harkens to a bygone era. They have just released their new single ‘Ellipses’. “The track is about trying to connect with someone and not being able to despite the best of intentions,” says Mike. “It's about the things that aren't said or are left unsaid. It's about a meaningful relationship that ended kind of suddenly. The person was typing to me (as evidenced by the "...") but I never got to hear their response. Closure isn't something that someone gives us, in the end. It's something that we have to come to on our own. The sonic influences for me on this track, probably in particular the chord changes in the verses are Neil Young, the pre-chorus Tom Waits.  I wanted to stack Ali's vocals because it has an unreal sound (not occurring naturally, similar to Royals by Lorde) that can work in the right context.” Listen below.

Love Crumbs · Ellipses

Anniee

Anniee is an electronic artist and theatre composer based in Montclair, NJ just outside NYC. As a vocalist she has performed in a variety of styles and genres. Recently she has turned her attention to producing synthwave and retrowave tracks with modern and minimalist vibes. She has just released her new track 'Lonely Wolves'. "'Lonely Wolves' is moody and driving, with retro vibes and a modern sensibility—an intense journey exploring breakdown in relationship," says Anniee. Listen below.

Anniee · Lonely Wolves

Leah Rose

Emerging pop songwriter and producer Leah Rose has released her debut single ‘Goodnight’. The melancholic hue of ‘Goodnight’ arises from the sentimentality of a writer reflecting on a landscape they no longer exist in. The song was written and recorded in lockdown and is a prime example of how an artists’ time in isolation can result in the inevitable dissection of their past. Sonically, ‘Goodnight’ was inspired by artists such as Lorde, The Weeknd and Charli XCX. Leah Rose is a Cork-born artist who has spent the last 5 years based in Dublin. She spent much of that time honing her craft, finding inspiration in lyricists such as Alex Turner and Lana Del Rey. Strong imagery and colour play a huge role in Leah’s songwriting. Growing up with artists for parents meant that Leah was exposed to a range of visual art forms at a young age. She strives to create art not only through music but through her artwork, photography and overall visual aesthetic. “I see my songwriting style as atmospheric and somewhat abstract,” she says. “I love being able to use music as a tool to materialise the things I see in my mind. So when I write a song I try to place the listener right in the centre of my memories and daydreams”. Listen to ‘Goodnight’ below.

Leah Rose · Goodnight

Felyce

Felyce's alt-pop root influences shine through on her shuffling and atmospheric alternative Pop/R&B new single ‘Skin’. The Paris-based singer-songwriter Felyce shares the struggle she faced accepting the color of her skin while growing in France. Getting away from slow tempos, ‘Skin’ offers an energetic but still dark ambiance. Felyce wrote and performed ‘Skin’ and she worked with professional arranger Nicolas Lassus to make the song what it is now. She said in statement: "I wrote 'Skin' thinking about that beautiful story I heard once. A young black girl wondered why her skin was so dark and her mother told her the reason was because the sun loved her too much. That story really stuck with me". Born and raised in Paris, she spent most of her time between stage performances and school until high school when she put most of her focus on studying while writing her first full songs on the side. Felyce graduated from university in 2016 before starting a short career in HR but she realized that music was the only career for her and began learning production the next year while working on her debut EP Fear which dropped in 2018. She's been steadily releasing singles and crafting her sound since; embracing her formative influences, including British pop music acts like Sam Smith, Robbie Williams, Birdy, and American pop acts such as Lana Del Rey or Banks. Listen to ‘Skin’ below.

Kenzie Webley

Kenzie Webley has been writing songs since she was 13 years old but only started recording last year just before lockdown. Her new single 'Loveable' is out now to coincide with her finishing her A levels. Her debut album is almost finished and she already has the songs written for her second album! 'Loveable' tells the story of a couple arguing in public after a night out. It's from the perspective of someone who recognises their own culpability in the events. Listen below.

URARTA

URARTA’s new EP consists of four tracks centred around the issues of standing up for yourself and others, respecting the planet’s boundaries and looking out for your own. Musically, the band has its heart in punk, but simultaneously flirts with genres such as post punk, alt-rock, noise, Goth and indie. The lyrics are in English and in the dialect of Skåne –the southern part of Sweden where the band also has its geographical base. URARTA consists of Monica Richter (vocals), Ketty Hagmann (bass) and Tove Lorentz (drums). Listen to the song ‘D.I.Y’ below.

Vol 2: Vi Fick Fel Adress by Ursäkta Röran

#submission saturday #emily kate #jordana talsky #nimkish #tana #loe crumbs #anniee #leah rose #felyce #kenzie webley #urarta

[bigskydreaming]

A big part of the reason I harp on NTT #55 and that time Bruce hit Dick after Jason’s death is to me, its just such a perfect example of the downsides of letting something like that go unaddressed. For fans of the whole family, because the ripple effects of letting it go unaddressed either in canon or largely in fandom as a whole....like, those affect every member of the family, even if you’re not particular a fan of Dick or Bruce specifically.

First off, I want to be perfectly clear.....I do believe that a large part of the problem in the writing itself is that the writers and various editors at DC didn’t view it as a father abusing his son. To them, I think it was simply an extreme example of Bruce’s grief getting the better of him....it was meant to be big, dramatic, dark, it was meant to hurt Dick and cause an even bigger division between them, but it wasn’t meant to be abuse, in their eyes, I don’t think. At the end of the day, as far as they were all concerned IMO, it was simply a punch, and Dick’s certainly taken worse in his years as a vigilante.

None of that changes the fact that what was depicted on the page was unequivocally abuse. And I particularly want to break down the mental components of the scene, because I do feel like even when this is mentioned in fandom or fics, the weight of it is rarely felt, because its so often implicitly compared with the lifetime of abuse Jason had before coming to live with Bruce, or the times Dick’s been hurt far worse, or any of a dozen different things. Bottom line is, even when its nominally held out as being abusive, it tends to be in a perfunctory kind of way like “okay, yes, you’re not supposed to hit your kids, that’s abuse, but ultimately it was still just a punch.”

If you’ve been fortunate to never have been abused by a parent, please understand and internalize this:

A punch is never just a punch. 

Or any form of physical abuse for that matter...the delivery isn’t the point. Its what it represents.

Even if its just one hit, and the abuse victim has been hit far more or far worse in fights or sparring or whatever.....the damage doesn’t come from the physical blow alone.

The far greater damage is to every single thing that person had until that point built up in their mind to be true about their parent and their relationship with that parent. 

Society teaches us that parents aren’t supposed to hurt their kids. More than that, its a parent’s job to protect their kids from harm, we’re told from a very young age....with none of this coming from just one single source, but everywhere around us. We’re immersed in this perception, via entertainment, via our teachers, via everything we’re taught about how to protect ourselves. 

What’s the first thing you learn as a kid, that you’re told you should do if someone or something makes you uncomfortable or afraid? ‘Tell your parents’....even if we never hear that advice from our parents themselves, to come to them, its the first thing teachers advise, etc....with there rarely being a caveat about what to do if your parent is the one making you uncomfortable and afraid. Society’s default message to kids doesn’t really factor that in....because those are the outliers, as far as society’s perception goes.

Even as we get older and we start to consume media where older kids and parents have tense relationships, fight a lot....the vast majority of them still end with some form of reconciliation, whether deserved or not, because the implicit understanding is even when families fight, when parents yell, at the end of the day its all okay, because the parents love them and only want whats best for them....because of course they do. That’s how it works. The exceptions, again, are outliers.

The problem is, those of us with abusive parents are just as immersed in these outside narratives as any child with non-abusive parents....even if we don’t get this same reassurance from our parents themselves. Not only does this make it particularly hard for abused children to recognize or acknowledge when they’ve been abused (my parent can’t have meant to hurt me, because they’re my parent, they love me, so its not like they abused me)....

But in addition to that, up until that first moment of actual abuse, up until that first true piece of evidence that our relationship with our parent is not the same as the message we’re immersed in about what it should and should not be....

Before that, in the absence of that, we hear the same narratives and messages everyone else does, about how parents are supposed to protect us, nurture us, be our last line of defense against those who would see to harm us. That they love us, that we should never have to be afraid of them, etc. We absorb these implicit beliefs, the same as any other child. We internalize them. We accept them. We believe them to be true. We believe this to be fact.

‘No matter how much we fight with a parent, they would never truly hurt us. Not on purpose. That’s the last thing they’d ever want, because at the end of the day no matter our disagreements, they love us and want what’s best for us, not for us to be afraid of them.’

A punch is never just a punch, when its from a parent.

Its also the end of that belief. That trust. That unspoken faith we had in the message we’d been taught over and over throughout our lives....

Because its hard to argue that a parent would never really want to hurt you, when you’ve been on the receiving end of a willful and deliberate attempt to hurt you.

Bruce may have been lashing out in his grief, but he didn’t try and take it back. He didn’t show remorse or look horrified by what he’d done. Instead he doubled down, loomed over Dick, glared at him, yelled things about Jason’s death being Dick’s fault, that Dick was jealous that Bruce had adopted Jason but not him, specifically calling up things that he knew were sore points for Dick, things he knew would hurt him....making it unequivocally clear that in this moment, yes, Bruce’s intent was to hurt Dick. For him to be cowed, intimidated, even afraid of him. And then Bruce told him to leave, and to leave his key behind.

And in Dick’s case, all of this is compounded by the fact that Bruce isn’t his biological father, had yet to even be named his adoptive father. Meaning, the unspoken and spoken messages and lessons we’re taught about a parent’s role, and what children can or should trust or expect of a parent...these were only ever things Dick believed (and I don’t think anyone would truly argue that Dick didn’t believe these things about Bruce, that he loved him, wanted to protect him, etc)....

The point being....these things were never taken for granted in this case, because Bruce wasn’t technically or even nominally Dick’s father by that point. They were only ever believed by Dick...because Bruce worked to convince Dick they were all true. Dick was a traumatized orphan when he first came to live with Bruce. No matter how quickly you yourself see or headcanon him as having ‘bounced back’ from that, so to speak....that was only possible in the first place by virtue of Bruce making him feel safe enough to do so. Feel loved enough to well, act like a kid who has love and support in his life. The Manor was only ever Dick’s home because Bruce made it his home. Made him believe it was home. That it was a safe place for him, a place to feel comfortable and secure in, a refuge from the trauma that had made it necessary for him to even need another home.

One punch shattered all of that.

Because there’s no way for it not to. Dick spent years by Bruce’s side as Batman. He knows better than anyone what Bruce looks like when he wants to intimidate, when he wants someone to be afraid of him. He just never expected to be on the receiving end of that, because up until that point, even at their worst or most contentious, Dick still carried that unspoken faith that Bruce loved him even if he was bad at showing it, and as such, he’d never hurt him, not deliberately, not on purpose.....because the very idea of that, we’re taught, is incompatible with love. They can’t coexist. Someone can’t love us, and be capable of even a moment of that.

Life, unfortunately, is rarely that simple.

Make no mistake, someone can love someone and still abuse them. Our tendency in society is also to try and label people as certain things, as though they embody the description we give to them, even when that description originally is just meant to be of an action. So we call people abusive in general, even if at the start, its a specific action that’s abusive. Because abuse is ultimately an action. An abusive action that only turns into an abusive behavior when its repeated. An abusive behavior that only belongs to an abusive person, when that behavior becomes characteristic of that person.

And so whatever it was that Dick had specifically internalized about his and Bruce’s relationship by that point, whether it was that Bruce would never hurt him because Bruce was still his father for all intents and purposes, and loved him, and had made this his home, wanted it to be Dick’s home, for him to feel like it was his too...

One punch didn’t just split his lip and knock him to the floor while Bruce towered over him and yelled blame at him. It also made a lie of everything Bruce had previously worked to impart to Dick about his place here, his home, his relationship with Dick and what Dick could expect of him: to always be safe here, with him, to be wanted.

The reason I said at the start I believed that letting all of this go unaddressed was detrimental to the whole franchise and fandom, even if you’re not a fan of Dick or Bruce’s specifically - that goes back to what I said about how abuse initially is just a description of an action, before it becomes a behavior, and through enough instances of behavior, becomes characteristic enough of someone that they themselves are just described as abusive.

Because at this stage in the comics, this point in time.....Bruce’s abuse of his children is still limited to one singular scene, enacted in a time of extreme grief and emotional turmoil.

Make no mistake, I’m not for a second saying that excuses what Bruce did....because no matter his headspace, that doesn’t change the effect his actions still had on Dick’s headspace. An “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I was grieving” alone can’t singlehandedly repair the kind of damage that was done to a child’s belief in his father’s inability to truly do him harm, or even want to.

But its a place to start from, and the problem is.....by never actually starting from that place, by never working from THERE, specifically, to stem the behavior that ultimately is seen repeating at various points in the comics....a precedent is made. That he can do this and just have it papered over with a mere refusal to ever really acknowledge or address it, and life will superficially go on the same, as though something fundamental hasn’t changed, shifted....with nothing nearly as impactful put in motion in counterpoint to it, to push back against everything this scene did and implied about their relationship to either of them.

I admit to being somewhat triggerhappy on this subject, lol, but see, the bottom line is ultimately, fandom’s general refusal to give this particular scene real acknowledgment or weight has nothing to do with being a Dick stan, its purely about how abuse narratives are interacted with in any medium, as a whole.

Like, hopefully it makes a little more sense now why it might be downright maddening to see a fandom so frequently write fics tackling Bruce’s behavior.....while largely skipping around and outright avoiding or ignoring:

the initial instance of abuse that without which, and if not for there never having been any consequences resulting from it, Bruce’s actions in this direction would never have kept repeating enough to become a behavior.

Its about for every action there’s an equal an opposite reaction. By one instance of abuse not being deemed worthy of an opposing reaction to address it, attempt to correct it, push back against it and try and return things to where they’d been before an unapologized-for abusive scene skewed things heavily in another direction....

The groundwork is laid for more of the same to happen again, either with the same character, or literally any other.

Because the thing that goes hand in hand with this, without ever really getting acknowledged either, as it would require referencing that time Bruce abused Dick which tends to be counter to this line of thinking entirely: 

Instead of trying to ignore that this scene happened because it clashes with the idea that Dick is the favored son who can do no wrong in Bruce’s eyes.....IMO stans of Jason and the others might be better served by looking at this moment in the characters’ lives as “if we vehemently believe that Bruce favors Dick more than the others, and he can still do this to him, what does that say he’s capable of with the others?”

Hopefully I’m making a case for how after a long enough time has past where scenes like this one just exist and yet there’s not a sizable enough pushback or attempt to acknowledge, address or ‘fix’ it....it was literally inevitable that there would reach a point where shitty writers intent on just making a spectacle rather than because they care about the implications of what they’re writing....

Would eventually come up with something like RHATO #25.

How could they not? When the takeaway was that all this prior abusive stuff Bruce did never even got the kind of outcry, dramatic reception that writers like Lobdell live for.....what were writers like him ever going to do but double down? Up the stakes? Do worse?

Bottom line is you can’t keep a pattern from recurring so long as you refuse to acknowledge various of the points that make up the pattern. Especially the initial point, without which there very well might be no pattern.

And going back to that scene from NTT #55....

No, I don’t believe a simple apology was ever going to make it right. But as I said, its a start, and you have to start somewhere. If anyone ever truly wants to address Bruce’s worse tendencies with his children, IMO, you start here....where its still largely limited to a specific moment in time, and can be addressed as such. Forced out into the open and condemned before it can grow due to a lack of consequences. With Bruce expected to make amends. He can’t and shouldn’t expect Dick just to forgive him, but not even asking for forgiveness literally only lays out the inevitable conclusion that he doesn’t need to, in order to have things back the way they were. 

Whereas owning up to what he did and its effects on Dick, recognizing that Dick only had this initial security of feeling he’d never harm him because he’d once upon a time worked to give him that feeling of security in the first place......that could be a reminder to Bruce that he did it once, and if he wants to badly enough and works at it hard enough, he can do it again.

But again, that requires focus on what this did to Dick, and what he needs in order to make things better from that point on...as well as effort.

An action caused this. Nothing but action in the other direction can actually have any kind of effect equivalent to the one the abusive action had.

I firmly believe that focusing on this as the starting point of any ‘fix-it’ fics meant to address or even curb Bruce’s abusive behavior in canon, is to the benefit of fans of every Batkid.

Cut it off at the source. Before it ever even gets to the point of RHATO #25, or NW #30.

Because there reaches a point where it becomes too little, too late. Where acknowledging it only once it gets to instances of that magnitude is akin to trying to put a bandaid on a gaping hole going straight through the body.

There are some instances of abuse that are so extreme, so damaging, that....they shouldn’t be forgiven, IMO. Where when if you’re focusing on what’s best for the victim, rather than trying to make things better for the whole family overall, including the abuser, under the belief that the family truly needs and would be worse off without them...

Like, sometimes the best thing for an abuse victim is to just walk away, if that’s at all possible. Cut ties and start fresh elsewhere. Some things are too big to ever truly come back from, to make things so everyone truly feels comfortable and safe and secure in another’s presence.

So I mean, its never not going to be baffling, and a little frustrating, to see fix-it fics for Bruce’s abusive behavior or actions that only act like something like RHATO #25 is a call for an intervention.

Because the thing that never ever gets mentioned in those fics, even when they bring it up and toss it out there like a throwaway line, like its still not that big a deal...

Is if your premise acknowledges that this initial scene after Jason’s death still happened in your fic....that it was the starting point for a pattern of abusive behavior that unchecked grew until it reached the point of RHATO #25....

Then your own fic is acknowledging but not addressing the fact that Dick has been living as an unacknowledged abuse survivor this whole time, without anyone in the fic’s continuity ever having addressed or even attempted anything to repair that initial damage to his faith in Bruce’s desire to protect and shelter and never harm him.

And that has nothing to do with feelings about individual characters, but again....how we interact with abuse narratives as a whole.

Just, please. If you are not a survivor yourself, if you take nothing else away from this, just please remember, reflect upon, and internalize this:

There is a difference between abuse and assault for a reason.

And that reason boils down to the fact that unlike in instances of assault, with abuse?

A punch is never just a punch.

#abuse cw

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Father Quotes

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• A father carries pictures where his money used to be. – Steve Martin • A father is a fellow who has replaced the currency in his wallet with snapshots of his kids. – Michael Forest • A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. – Frank A. Clark • A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be, A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. – Frank Howard Clark • A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. – Enid Bagnold • A father may turn his back on his child, … . but a mother’s love endures through all. – Washington Irving • A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother’s love endures through all. – Washington Irving • A father’s duty is to make his home a place of happiness and joy. – Ezra Taft Benson • A father’s disappointment can be a very powerful tool. – Michael Bergin • A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. – Billy Graham • A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma. – Marlene Dietrich • A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez • A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. – Bill Cosby • A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father. – Frank Abagnale • A son can bear with equanimity the loss of his father, but the loss of his inheritance may drive him to despair. – Niccolo Machiavelli • A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother. – Solomon • Aeneas carried his aged father on his back from the ruins of Troy and so do we all, whether we like it or not, perhaps even if we have never known them. – Angela Carter • All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye. – Margaret Atwood • All the learnin’ my father ever paid for was a bit o’ birch at one end and the alphabet at th ‘ other. – George Eliot • An angry father is most cruel towards himself. – Publilius Syrus • And he that is taught to live upon little, owes more to his father’s wisdom, than he that has a great deal left him, does to his father’s care. – William Penn • And my dad, you’re a great actor but you’re a better father. – Angelina Jolie • Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. – Anne Geddes • Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right. – Wade Boggs • As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. – Lord Chesterfield • As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy. – Al Yankovic

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• Be able to confide your innermost secrets to your mother and your innermost fears to your father. – Marilyn vos Savant • Be brave as your fathers before you. Have faith and go forward. – Thomas A. Edison • Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. – Margaret Ann Courtney • Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person. – Naveen Jain • Being a father helps me be more responsible… you see more things than you’ve ever seen. – Kid Rock • Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me. – Jimmy Fallon • Being a father to my family and a husband is to me much more important than what I did in the business. – Tom Bosley • Being a father, being a friend, those are the things that make me feel successful. – William Hurt • Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father. – Lydia M. Child • Brothers and sisters, as good as our previous experience may be, if we stop asking questions, stop thinking, stop pondering, we can thwart the revelations of the Spirit. Remember, it was the questions young Joseph asked that opened the door for the restoration of all things. We can block the growth and knowledge our Heavenly Father intends for us. How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew? – Dieter F. Uchtdorf • By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. – Charles Wadsworth • Child-rearing is my main interest now. I’m a hands-on father. – Sean Penn • Do you know that other than my father, I’ve never had a man take care of me? – Dionne Warwick • Every child has to disobey the father. Unless a child disobeys the father he never becomes mature. It is nothing, original, it is very simple and natural. It is very psychological. There comes an age when every child has to say NO to the parents. If he does not say no to the parents he will not have a spine; he will be spineless. If he cannot say no to the parents, he will be a slave his whole life. He will never attain to individuality. – Rajneesh • Every parent is at some time the father of the unreturned prodigal, with nothing to do but keep his house open to hope. – John Ciardi • Everything I do and say tells a story of who I am serving. If I am acting out of anger and spite, I am serving the father of darkness and spreading his darkness. If I am honoring to the Lord with my actions, I am serving to further the name of Jesus and spreading His light. – Lysa TerKeurst • Father or stepfather – those are just titles to me. They don’t mean anything. – Oliver Hudson • Father! – to God himself we cannot give a holier name. – William Wordsworth • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. – Bill Cosby • Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do. – Frank Pittman • Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough…so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody’s. – Paul Harvey • Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on! – Louis C. K. • Fathers represent another way of looking at life – the possibility of an alternative dialogue. – Louise J. Kaplan • Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development. – David Gottesman • Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle. – Adam Sandler • For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers. – Homer • For thousands of years, father and son have stretched wistful hands across the canyon of time. – Alan Valentine • Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. – Clarence Budington Kelland • He’s [Harry S. Truman] just your dad, and you love him. It’s only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home – it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love. My father was a great man. – Margaret Truman Daniel • I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well. – Alexander the Great • I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much. – Hedy Lamarr • I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. – Umberto Eco • I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. – Sigmund Freud • I don’t think children’s inner feelings have changed. They still want a mother and father in the very same house; they want places to play. – Beverly Cleary • I get whatever placidity I have from my father. But my mother taught me how to take it on the chin. – Norma Shearer • I grew up not liking my father very much. I never saw him cry. But he must have. Everybody cries. – Charley Pride • I have never been a material girl. My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love you back. – Imelda Marcos • I inherited that calm from my father, who was a farmer. You sow, you wait for good or bad weather, you harvest, but working is something you always need to do. – Miguel Indurain • I just owe almost everything to my father and it’s passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election. – Margaret Thatcher • I just wish I could understand my father. – Michael Jackson • I know that I will never find my father in any other man who comes into my life, because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him. – Halle Berry • I love the comic opportunities that come up in the context of a father-son relationship. – Harrison Ford • I made a decision when my father passed away that I was going to be who God made me to be and not try to preach like my father. – Joel Osteen • I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father. – William Shakespeare • I never had a speech from my father ‘this is what you must do or shouldn’t do’ but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn’t perfect. – Adam Sandler • I owe my father everything. – Robert Carlyle • I pray to be a good servant to God, a father, a husband, a son, a friend, a brother, an uncle, a good neighbor, a good leader to those who look up to me, a good follower to those who are serving God and doing the right thing. – Mark Wahlberg • I pressed my father’s hand and told him I would protect his grave with my life. My father smiled and passed away to the spirit land. – Chief Joseph • I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern. – Anais Nin • I talk and talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. – Mario Cuomo • I tried to stick to my game plan, which was always being aware of what my A story was – the love story between a father and his son, and that son and his daughter. – Ted Demme • I want to congratulate all the men out there who are working diligently to be good fathers whether they are stepfathers, or biological fathers or just spiritual fathers. – T. D. Jakes • I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own. – H. G. Wells • I was punished for blowing the whistle on my father’s lifestyle. – Tatum O’Neal • I was raised Catholic, but my father’s people were Methodist, so we went to both churches. – Aaron Neville • I would never have done what I’d done if I’d considered my father as somebody I wanted to please. – Robert Mapplethorpe • I would say my greatest achievement in life right now – my greatest achievement period is – and I’m still trying to achieve it – is to be a wonderful father to my kids. – Bo Jackson • I would want my legacy to be that I was a great son, father and friend. – Dante Hall • If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher. – Abdul Kalam • If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. – Bill Cosby • If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. – James A. Baldwin • If you’re feeling alone, and your weariness has grown, look up above, and thank God for His love. There’s nothing you can do, to change His love for you; hold on friend, it’s not the end. Something beautiful will come, the clouds will part for the sun, the skies will break for the Son, and the Father will say ‘Well done.’ But until then, until then, you’re not alone. He can make bread from stone. Hold on to Him, and He’ll hold on to you. Take one day at a time, pray for faith and be kind, and when forgetful becomes your mind, remember what He said, ‘You are mine.’ – Nick Vujicic • I’m a father. It isn’t just my life any more. I don’t want my kid finding bottles in the house or seeing his father completely smashed. – Billie Joe Armstrong • I’m a father; that’s what matters most. Nothing matters more. – Gordon Brown • I’m more comfortable with whatever’s wrong with me than my father was whenever he felt he failed or didn’t measure up to the standard he set. – John Malkovich • In that most burdensome moment of all human history, with blood appearing at every pore and an anguished cry upon His lips, Christ sought Him whom He had always sought—His Father. “Abba,” He cried, “Papa,” or from the lips of a younger child, “Daddy.” This is such a personal moment it almost seems a sacrilege to cite it. A Son in unrelieved pain, a Father His only true source of strength, both of them staying the course, making it through the night—together. – Jeffrey R. Holland • It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. – Anne Sexton • It is a wise father that knows his own child. – William Shakespeare • It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents. – Samuel Butler • It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. – Pope John XXIII • It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. – Gertrude Stein • It is impossible to please all the world and one’s father. – Jean de La Fontaine • It is much easier to become a father than to be one. – Kent Nerburn • It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons. – Friedrich Schiller • It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all. – Alice Walker • It was my father who taught me to value myself. – Dawn French • It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life. – Dawn French • It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived. – Harper Lee • It’s a father’s duty to give his sons a fine chance. – George Eliot • Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. – Robert Orben • Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. – Solomon • Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other. – Joseph Joubert • Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother. – Friedrich Nietzsche • Mom and Dad were married 64 years. And if you wondered what their secret was, you could have asked the local florist – because every day Dad gave Mom a rose, which he put on her bedside table. That’s how she found out what happened on the day my father died – she went looking for him because that morning, there was no rose. – Mitt Romney • Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. – Gloria Steinem • My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways. – Sarah Orne Jewett • My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. – Lee Iacocca • My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. – Rodney Dangerfield • My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! – Spike Milligan • My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing. – Aldous Huxley • My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. – Clarence Budington Kelland • My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. – Jim Valvano • My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. – Spike Milligan • My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. – Peter De Vries • My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it. – Victor Borge • My father loved people, children and pets. – Tony Visconti • My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. – Marlo Thomas • My father said, Politics asks the question: Is it expedient? Vanity asks: Is it popular? But conscience asks: Is it right? – Dexter Scott King • My father taught me how to substitute realities. – Mira Sorvino • My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. – Abraham Lincoln • My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass’; ‘We’re not raising grass,’ Dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’ – Harmon Killebrew • My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, ‘You never know what you can accomplish until you try.’ – Michael Jordan • My father used to sing to me in my mother’s womb. I think I can name about any tune in two beats. – Yancy Butler • My father wants me to be like my brother, but I can’t be. – Robert Mapplethorpe • My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that’s how I view the world. – Sandra Bernhard • My father was a statesman, I’m a political woman. My father was a saint. I’m not. – Indira Gandhi • My father was always telling himself no one was perfect, not even my mother. – Broderick Crawford • My father was an Episcopalian minister, and I’ve always been comforted by the power of prayer. – Anna Lee • My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. – Anthony Hopkins • My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad. – Beau Bridges • My father was never anti-anything in our house. – Errol Flynn • My father was not a failure. After all, he was the father of a president of the United States. – Harry S. Truman • My father was often angry when I was most like him. – Lillian Hellman • My father was the guy on the block who said hi to everyone. – Damon Wayans • My father wouldn’t get us a TV, he wouldn’t allow a TV in the house. – Janis Joplin • My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem. – Gwyneth Paltrow • My father, when he went, made my childhood a gift of a half a century. – Antonio Porchia • My father… had sharper eyes than the rest of our people. – Chief Joseph • My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him. – Eminem • My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this. – Jeff Foxworthy • My grandfather always said that living is like licking honey off a thorn. – Louis Adamic • My grandfather, along with Carnegie, was a pioneer in philanthropy, which my father then practiced on a very large scale. – David Rockefeller • My mother gave me my drive but my father gave me my dreams. – Liza Minnelli • My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. – Quentin Crisp • No love is greater than that of a father for His son. – Dan Brown • No matter how old we become, we can still call them ‘Holy Mother’ and ‘Father’ and put a child-like trust in them. – Desmond Morris • Noble fathers have noble children. – Euripides • Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. – Bill Cosby • Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it. – Barack Obama • One father is enough to govern one hundred sons, but not a hundred sons one father. – George Herbert • One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. – George Herbert • One of my earliest memories is of my father carrying me in one arm with a picket sign in the other. – Camryn Manheim • One of the greatest gifts my father gave me – unintentionally – was witnessing the courage with which he bore adversity. We had a bit of a rollercoaster life with some really challenging financial periods. He was always unshaken, completely tranquil, the same ebullient, laughing, jovial man. – Ben Okri • Our father in heaven governs the affairs of men by placing specific individuals upon the earth to lead at specific times and inspiring and directing them. – Harold B. Lee • Our problem with President Obama isn’t that he’s a bad person. By all accounts, he too is a good husband, and a good father – and thanks to lots of practice, a pretty good golfer. – Marco Rubio • Scratch any father, you find / Someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, / Believing change is a threat. – Phyllis McGinley • She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx • Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later… that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe – Tom Wolfe • So my father was a person who never lied to me. If I had a question, he answered it. I knew a lot of things at a young age because I was intrigued. – Nick Cannon • Son, brother, father, lover, friend. There is room in the heart for all the affections, as there is room in heaven for all the stars. – Victor Hugo • Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers. – Aldous Huxley • That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? – Joseph Addison • That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all. – August Strindberg • That was when the world wasn’t so big and I could see everywhere. It was when my father was a hero and not a human. – Markus Zusak • The child is father of the man. – William Wordsworth • The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. – Thomas Jefferson • The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat. – Robert Frost • The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, ‘Daddy, I need to ask you something,’ he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. – Garrison Keillor • The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. – Confucius • The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road. – Angelo Patri • The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. – Bertrand Russell • The greatest gift I ever had Came from God; I call him Dad! – John Walter Bratton • The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child fatherless and then Godless. – Anais Nin • The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the heavenly Father. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. – Theodore Hesburgh • The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you’re unqualified to do, and then you become qualified while doing it. – John Green • The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. – Timothy J. Russert • The path I am trying so hard to follow is in fact the one that God my Father and His Son Jesus Christ want me to pursue. It has brought me deep happiness. – Clayton Christensen • The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. – Bertrand Russell • The surprising thing about fatherhood was finding my inner mush. Now I want to share it with the world. – Christopher Meloni • The tears of Christ are the pity of God. The gentleness of Jesus is the long-suffering of God. The tenderness of Jesus is the love of God. He that hath seen me hath seen the Father. – Alexander MacLaren • The thing to remember about fathers is, they’re men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock – full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat – like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I took such months to get. – Phyllis McGinley • The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war. – E. B. White • The words that a father speaks to his children in the privacy of home are not heard by the world, but, as in whispering galleries, they are clearly heard at the end, and by posterity. – Jean Paul • There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson. – Victor Hugo • There is nothing that moves a loving father’s soul quite like his child’s cry. – Joni Eareckson Tada • There will always be a few people who have the courage to love what is untamed inside us. One of those men is my father. – Alison Lohman • There’s really no point in having children if you’re not going to be home enough to father them. – Anthony Edwards • There’s so much negative imagery of black fatherhood. I’ve got tons of friends that are doing the right thing by their kids, and doing the right thing as a father – and how come that’s not as newsworthy? – Will Smith • There’s sometimes a weird benefit to having an alcoholic, violent father. He really motivated me in that I never wanted to be anything like him. – Dean Koontz • Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life. – Samuel Butler • Tis a happy thing To be the father unto many sons. – William Shakespeare • To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter. – Euripides • To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years. – Ernest Hemingway • To gather with God’s people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer. – Martin Luther • To her, the name of father was another name for love. – Fanny Fern • To ignore, repress, or dismiss our feelings is to fail to listen to the stirrings of the Spirit within our emotional life. Jesus listened. In John’s Gospel we are told that Jesus was moved with the deepest emotions (11:33)… The gospel portrait of the beloved Child of Abba is that of a man exquisitely attuned to His emotions and uninhibited in expressing them. The Son of Man did not scorn of reject feelings as fickle and unreliable. They were sensitive antennae to which He listened carefully and through which He perceived the will of His Father for congruent speech and action. – Brennan Manning • To people who remember JFK’s assassination, JFK Jr. will probably always be that boy saluting his father’s coffin. – Michael Beschloss • Until you have a son of your own… you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. • We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so. – Alexander Pope • What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father. – Mary Mapes Dodge • What a father says to his children is not heard by the world, but it will be heard by posterity. – Jean Paul • What do I owe my father? Everything! – Henry Van Dyke • What does God the Father look like? Although I’ve never seen Him, I believe – as with the Holy Spirit – He looks like Jesus looked on earth. – Benny Hinn • What was silent in the father speaks in the son, and often I found in the son the unveiled secret of the father. – Friedrich Nietzsche • When a child is born, a father is born. A mother is born, too of course, but at least for her it’s a gradual process. Body and soul, she has nine months to get used to what’s happening. She becomes what’s happening. But for even the best-prepared father, it happens all at once. On the other side of a plate-glass window, a nurse is holding up something roughly the size of a loaf of bread for him to see for the first time. – Frederick Buechner • When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. – William Shakespeare • When a father, absent during the day, returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament, not his teaching. – Robert Bly • When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. – Mark Twain • When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you. – Jerry Lewis • When I was a kid, my father told me every day, ‘You’re the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.’ – Jan Hutchins • When one has not had a good father, one must create one. – Friedrich Nietzsche • When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps. – Dick Gregory • Whenever I fail as a father or husband… a toy and a diamond always works. – Shahrukh Khan • Whoever does not have a good father should procure one. – Friedrich Nietzsche • You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father s. He’s more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat. – Robert Frost • You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father’s. – Robert Frost • You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they’ll turn out to be heroes, even if it’s just in your own eyes. – Wally Schirra • You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together. – Erika Cosby • You think about child abuse and you think of a father viciously attacking a daughter or a son, but in my family it was my mother. My mother, I would say, was a… very brutal disciplinarian. – Lynn Johnston • You will find that if you really try to be a father, your child will meet you halfway. – Robert Breault • Your responsibility as a father and a husband transcends any other interest in life. – Boyd K. Packer

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Father Quotes

Official Website: Father Quotes

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• A father carries pictures where his money used to be. – Steve Martin • A father is a fellow who has replaced the currency in his wallet with snapshots of his kids. – Michael Forest • A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. – Frank A. Clark • A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be, A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. – Frank Howard Clark • A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. – Enid Bagnold • A father may turn his back on his child, … . but a mother’s love endures through all. – Washington Irving • A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother’s love endures through all. – Washington Irving • A father’s duty is to make his home a place of happiness and joy. – Ezra Taft Benson • A father’s disappointment can be a very powerful tool. – Michael Bergin • A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. – Billy Graham • A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma. – Marlene Dietrich • A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez • A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. – Bill Cosby • A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father. – Frank Abagnale • A son can bear with equanimity the loss of his father, but the loss of his inheritance may drive him to despair. – Niccolo Machiavelli • A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother. – Solomon • Aeneas carried his aged father on his back from the ruins of Troy and so do we all, whether we like it or not, perhaps even if we have never known them. – Angela Carter • All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye. – Margaret Atwood • All the learnin’ my father ever paid for was a bit o’ birch at one end and the alphabet at th ‘ other. – George Eliot • An angry father is most cruel towards himself. – Publilius Syrus • And he that is taught to live upon little, owes more to his father’s wisdom, than he that has a great deal left him, does to his father’s care. – William Penn • And my dad, you’re a great actor but you’re a better father. – Angelina Jolie • Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. – Anne Geddes • Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right. – Wade Boggs • As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. – Lord Chesterfield • As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy. – Al Yankovic

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• Be able to confide your innermost secrets to your mother and your innermost fears to your father. – Marilyn vos Savant • Be brave as your fathers before you. Have faith and go forward. – Thomas A. Edison • Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. – Margaret Ann Courtney • Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person. – Naveen Jain • Being a father helps me be more responsible… you see more things than you’ve ever seen. – Kid Rock • Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me. – Jimmy Fallon • Being a father to my family and a husband is to me much more important than what I did in the business. – Tom Bosley • Being a father, being a friend, those are the things that make me feel successful. – William Hurt • Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father. – Lydia M. Child • Brothers and sisters, as good as our previous experience may be, if we stop asking questions, stop thinking, stop pondering, we can thwart the revelations of the Spirit. Remember, it was the questions young Joseph asked that opened the door for the restoration of all things. We can block the growth and knowledge our Heavenly Father intends for us. How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew? – Dieter F. Uchtdorf • By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. – Charles Wadsworth • Child-rearing is my main interest now. I’m a hands-on father. – Sean Penn • Do you know that other than my father, I’ve never had a man take care of me? – Dionne Warwick • Every child has to disobey the father. Unless a child disobeys the father he never becomes mature. It is nothing, original, it is very simple and natural. It is very psychological. There comes an age when every child has to say NO to the parents. If he does not say no to the parents he will not have a spine; he will be spineless. If he cannot say no to the parents, he will be a slave his whole life. He will never attain to individuality. – Rajneesh • Every parent is at some time the father of the unreturned prodigal, with nothing to do but keep his house open to hope. – John Ciardi • Everything I do and say tells a story of who I am serving. If I am acting out of anger and spite, I am serving the father of darkness and spreading his darkness. If I am honoring to the Lord with my actions, I am serving to further the name of Jesus and spreading His light. – Lysa TerKeurst • Father or stepfather – those are just titles to me. They don’t mean anything. – Oliver Hudson • Father! – to God himself we cannot give a holier name. – William Wordsworth • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. – Bill Cosby • Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do. – Frank Pittman • Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough…so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody’s. – Paul Harvey • Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on! – Louis C. K. • Fathers represent another way of looking at life – the possibility of an alternative dialogue. – Louise J. Kaplan • Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development. – David Gottesman • Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle. – Adam Sandler • For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers. – Homer • For thousands of years, father and son have stretched wistful hands across the canyon of time. – Alan Valentine • Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. – Clarence Budington Kelland • He’s [Harry S. Truman] just your dad, and you love him. It’s only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home – it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love. My father was a great man. – Margaret Truman Daniel • I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well. – Alexander the Great • I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much. – Hedy Lamarr • I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. – Umberto Eco • I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. – Sigmund Freud • I don’t think children’s inner feelings have changed. They still want a mother and father in the very same house; they want places to play. – Beverly Cleary • I get whatever placidity I have from my father. But my mother taught me how to take it on the chin. – Norma Shearer • I grew up not liking my father very much. I never saw him cry. But he must have. Everybody cries. – Charley Pride • I have never been a material girl. My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love you back. – Imelda Marcos • I inherited that calm from my father, who was a farmer. You sow, you wait for good or bad weather, you harvest, but working is something you always need to do. – Miguel Indurain • I just owe almost everything to my father and it’s passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election. – Margaret Thatcher • I just wish I could understand my father. – Michael Jackson • I know that I will never find my father in any other man who comes into my life, because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him. – Halle Berry • I love the comic opportunities that come up in the context of a father-son relationship. – Harrison Ford • I made a decision when my father passed away that I was going to be who God made me to be and not try to preach like my father. – Joel Osteen • I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father. – William Shakespeare • I never had a speech from my father ‘this is what you must do or shouldn’t do’ but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn’t perfect. – Adam Sandler • I owe my father everything. – Robert Carlyle • I pray to be a good servant to God, a father, a husband, a son, a friend, a brother, an uncle, a good neighbor, a good leader to those who look up to me, a good follower to those who are serving God and doing the right thing. – Mark Wahlberg • I pressed my father’s hand and told him I would protect his grave with my life. My father smiled and passed away to the spirit land. – Chief Joseph • I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern. – Anais Nin • I talk and talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. – Mario Cuomo • I tried to stick to my game plan, which was always being aware of what my A story was – the love story between a father and his son, and that son and his daughter. – Ted Demme • I want to congratulate all the men out there who are working diligently to be good fathers whether they are stepfathers, or biological fathers or just spiritual fathers. – T. D. Jakes • I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own. – H. G. Wells • I was punished for blowing the whistle on my father’s lifestyle. – Tatum O’Neal • I was raised Catholic, but my father’s people were Methodist, so we went to both churches. – Aaron Neville • I would never have done what I’d done if I’d considered my father as somebody I wanted to please. – Robert Mapplethorpe • I would say my greatest achievement in life right now – my greatest achievement period is – and I’m still trying to achieve it – is to be a wonderful father to my kids. – Bo Jackson • I would want my legacy to be that I was a great son, father and friend. – Dante Hall • If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher. – Abdul Kalam • If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. – Bill Cosby • If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. – James A. Baldwin • If you’re feeling alone, and your weariness has grown, look up above, and thank God for His love. There’s nothing you can do, to change His love for you; hold on friend, it’s not the end. Something beautiful will come, the clouds will part for the sun, the skies will break for the Son, and the Father will say ‘Well done.’ But until then, until then, you’re not alone. He can make bread from stone. Hold on to Him, and He’ll hold on to you. Take one day at a time, pray for faith and be kind, and when forgetful becomes your mind, remember what He said, ‘You are mine.’ – Nick Vujicic • I’m a father. It isn’t just my life any more. I don’t want my kid finding bottles in the house or seeing his father completely smashed. – Billie Joe Armstrong • I’m a father; that’s what matters most. Nothing matters more. – Gordon Brown • I’m more comfortable with whatever’s wrong with me than my father was whenever he felt he failed or didn’t measure up to the standard he set. – John Malkovich • In that most burdensome moment of all human history, with blood appearing at every pore and an anguished cry upon His lips, Christ sought Him whom He had always sought—His Father. “Abba,” He cried, “Papa,” or from the lips of a younger child, “Daddy.” This is such a personal moment it almost seems a sacrilege to cite it. A Son in unrelieved pain, a Father His only true source of strength, both of them staying the course, making it through the night—together. – Jeffrey R. Holland • It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. – Anne Sexton • It is a wise father that knows his own child. – William Shakespeare • It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents. – Samuel Butler • It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. – Pope John XXIII • It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. – Gertrude Stein • It is impossible to please all the world and one’s father. – Jean de La Fontaine • It is much easier to become a father than to be one. – Kent Nerburn • It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons. – Friedrich Schiller • It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all. – Alice Walker • It was my father who taught me to value myself. – Dawn French • It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life. – Dawn French • It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived. – Harper Lee • It’s a father’s duty to give his sons a fine chance. – George Eliot • Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. – Robert Orben • Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. – Solomon • Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other. – Joseph Joubert • Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother. – Friedrich Nietzsche • Mom and Dad were married 64 years. And if you wondered what their secret was, you could have asked the local florist – because every day Dad gave Mom a rose, which he put on her bedside table. That’s how she found out what happened on the day my father died – she went looking for him because that morning, there was no rose. – Mitt Romney • Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. – Gloria Steinem • My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways. – Sarah Orne Jewett • My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. – Lee Iacocca • My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. – Rodney Dangerfield • My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! – Spike Milligan • My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing. – Aldous Huxley • My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. – Clarence Budington Kelland • My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. – Jim Valvano • My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. – Spike Milligan • My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. – Peter De Vries • My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it. – Victor Borge • My father loved people, children and pets. – Tony Visconti • My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. – Marlo Thomas • My father said, Politics asks the question: Is it expedient? Vanity asks: Is it popular? But conscience asks: Is it right? – Dexter Scott King • My father taught me how to substitute realities. – Mira Sorvino • My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. – Abraham Lincoln • My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass’; ‘We’re not raising grass,’ Dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’ – Harmon Killebrew • My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, ‘You never know what you can accomplish until you try.’ – Michael Jordan • My father used to sing to me in my mother’s womb. I think I can name about any tune in two beats. – Yancy Butler • My father wants me to be like my brother, but I can’t be. – Robert Mapplethorpe • My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that’s how I view the world. – Sandra Bernhard • My father was a statesman, I’m a political woman. My father was a saint. I’m not. – Indira Gandhi • My father was always telling himself no one was perfect, not even my mother. – Broderick Crawford • My father was an Episcopalian minister, and I’ve always been comforted by the power of prayer. – Anna Lee • My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. – Anthony Hopkins • My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad. – Beau Bridges • My father was never anti-anything in our house. – Errol Flynn • My father was not a failure. After all, he was the father of a president of the United States. – Harry S. Truman • My father was often angry when I was most like him. – Lillian Hellman • My father was the guy on the block who said hi to everyone. – Damon Wayans • My father wouldn’t get us a TV, he wouldn’t allow a TV in the house. – Janis Joplin • My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem. – Gwyneth Paltrow • My father, when he went, made my childhood a gift of a half a century. – Antonio Porchia • My father… had sharper eyes than the rest of our people. – Chief Joseph • My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him. – Eminem • My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this. – Jeff Foxworthy • My grandfather always said that living is like licking honey off a thorn. – Louis Adamic • My grandfather, along with Carnegie, was a pioneer in philanthropy, which my father then practiced on a very large scale. – David Rockefeller • My mother gave me my drive but my father gave me my dreams. – Liza Minnelli • My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. – Quentin Crisp • No love is greater than that of a father for His son. – Dan Brown • No matter how old we become, we can still call them ‘Holy Mother’ and ‘Father’ and put a child-like trust in them. – Desmond Morris • Noble fathers have noble children. – Euripides • Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. – Bill Cosby • Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it. – Barack Obama • One father is enough to govern one hundred sons, but not a hundred sons one father. – George Herbert • One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. – George Herbert • One of my earliest memories is of my father carrying me in one arm with a picket sign in the other. – Camryn Manheim • One of the greatest gifts my father gave me – unintentionally – was witnessing the courage with which he bore adversity. We had a bit of a rollercoaster life with some really challenging financial periods. He was always unshaken, completely tranquil, the same ebullient, laughing, jovial man. – Ben Okri • Our father in heaven governs the affairs of men by placing specific individuals upon the earth to lead at specific times and inspiring and directing them. – Harold B. Lee • Our problem with President Obama isn’t that he’s a bad person. By all accounts, he too is a good husband, and a good father – and thanks to lots of practice, a pretty good golfer. – Marco Rubio • Scratch any father, you find / Someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, / Believing change is a threat. – Phyllis McGinley • She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx • Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later… that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe – Tom Wolfe • So my father was a person who never lied to me. If I had a question, he answered it. I knew a lot of things at a young age because I was intrigued. – Nick Cannon • Son, brother, father, lover, friend. There is room in the heart for all the affections, as there is room in heaven for all the stars. – Victor Hugo • Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers. – Aldous Huxley • That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? – Joseph Addison • That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all. – August Strindberg • That was when the world wasn’t so big and I could see everywhere. It was when my father was a hero and not a human. – Markus Zusak • The child is father of the man. – William Wordsworth • The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. – Thomas Jefferson • The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat. – Robert Frost • The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, ‘Daddy, I need to ask you something,’ he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. – Garrison Keillor • The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. – Confucius • The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road. – Angelo Patri • The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. – Bertrand Russell • The greatest gift I ever had Came from God; I call him Dad! – John Walter Bratton • The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human, as man who created a child and then, by his absence, left the child fatherless and then Godless. – Anais Nin • The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the heavenly Father. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. – Theodore Hesburgh • The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you’re unqualified to do, and then you become qualified while doing it. – John Green • The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. – Timothy J. Russert • The path I am trying so hard to follow is in fact the one that God my Father and His Son Jesus Christ want me to pursue. It has brought me deep happiness. – Clayton Christensen • The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. – Bertrand Russell • The surprising thing about fatherhood was finding my inner mush. Now I want to share it with the world. – Christopher Meloni • The tears of Christ are the pity of God. The gentleness of Jesus is the long-suffering of God. The tenderness of Jesus is the love of God. He that hath seen me hath seen the Father. – Alexander MacLaren • The thing to remember about fathers is, they’re men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock – full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat – like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I took such months to get. – Phyllis McGinley • The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war. – E. B. White • The words that a father speaks to his children in the privacy of home are not heard by the world, but, as in whispering galleries, they are clearly heard at the end, and by posterity. – Jean Paul • There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson. – Victor Hugo • There is nothing that moves a loving father’s soul quite like his child’s cry. – Joni Eareckson Tada • There will always be a few people who have the courage to love what is untamed inside us. One of those men is my father. – Alison Lohman • There’s really no point in having children if you’re not going to be home enough to father them. – Anthony Edwards • There’s so much negative imagery of black fatherhood. I’ve got tons of friends that are doing the right thing by their kids, and doing the right thing as a father – and how come that’s not as newsworthy? – Will Smith • There’s sometimes a weird benefit to having an alcoholic, violent father. He really motivated me in that I never wanted to be anything like him. – Dean Koontz • Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life. – Samuel Butler • Tis a happy thing To be the father unto many sons. – William Shakespeare • To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter. – Euripides • To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years. – Ernest Hemingway • To gather with God’s people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer. – Martin Luther • To her, the name of father was another name for love. – Fanny Fern • To ignore, repress, or dismiss our feelings is to fail to listen to the stirrings of the Spirit within our emotional life. Jesus listened. In John’s Gospel we are told that Jesus was moved with the deepest emotions (11:33)… The gospel portrait of the beloved Child of Abba is that of a man exquisitely attuned to His emotions and uninhibited in expressing them. The Son of Man did not scorn of reject feelings as fickle and unreliable. They were sensitive antennae to which He listened carefully and through which He perceived the will of His Father for congruent speech and action. – Brennan Manning • To people who remember JFK’s assassination, JFK Jr. will probably always be that boy saluting his father’s coffin. – Michael Beschloss • Until you have a son of your own… you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. • We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so. – Alexander Pope • What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father. – Mary Mapes Dodge • What a father says to his children is not heard by the world, but it will be heard by posterity. – Jean Paul • What do I owe my father? Everything! – Henry Van Dyke • What does God the Father look like? Although I’ve never seen Him, I believe – as with the Holy Spirit – He looks like Jesus looked on earth. – Benny Hinn • What was silent in the father speaks in the son, and often I found in the son the unveiled secret of the father. – Friedrich Nietzsche • When a child is born, a father is born. A mother is born, too of course, but at least for her it’s a gradual process. Body and soul, she has nine months to get used to what’s happening. She becomes what’s happening. But for even the best-prepared father, it happens all at once. On the other side of a plate-glass window, a nurse is holding up something roughly the size of a loaf of bread for him to see for the first time. – Frederick Buechner • When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. – William Shakespeare • When a father, absent during the day, returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament, not his teaching. – Robert Bly • When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. – Mark Twain • When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you. – Jerry Lewis • When I was a kid, my father told me every day, ‘You’re the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.’ – Jan Hutchins • When one has not had a good father, one must create one. – Friedrich Nietzsche • When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps. – Dick Gregory • Whenever I fail as a father or husband… a toy and a diamond always works. – Shahrukh Khan • Whoever does not have a good father should procure one. – Friedrich Nietzsche • You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father s. He’s more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat. – Robert Frost • You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father’s. – Robert Frost • You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they’ll turn out to be heroes, even if it’s just in your own eyes. – Wally Schirra • You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together. – Erika Cosby • You think about child abuse and you think of a father viciously attacking a daughter or a son, but in my family it was my mother. My mother, I would say, was a… very brutal disciplinarian. – Lynn Johnston • You will find that if you really try to be a father, your child will meet you halfway. – Robert Breault • Your responsibility as a father and a husband transcends any other interest in life. – Boyd K. Packer

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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