#I can be sad about multiple things in one art piece - it gives it Flavor

[chiropteracupola]

and I awoke and found me here /

on the cold hill’s side.

#em draws stuff #the flight of the heron #ewen cameron #keith windham #approximately five hundred people have painted things about 'la belle dame sans merci' and this is based on henry meynell rheam's #lots of challenges in this one but I think it turned out fairly well! #some things I'm not satisfied about but a couple of months ago I would never have tried something this ambitious #let alone produced a result that I was at all fond of! #at the time I wrote out the rest of this I'd been staring at it for near three days and was just picking at details of leaves and such #but now that it's had some time to steep again it is making me Feel again... #as to the background I'll admit that try as I might marin always seems to creep into any kind of shore-painting I do #so if the feeling's a little off there it's likely owed to that #I am sad about THEM and I am sad about being FAR FROM THE SEA #I can be sad about multiple things in one art piece - it gives it Flavor

[needsmoresarcasm]

A Review of Crazy Rich Asians Before Seeing Crazy Rich Asians

And several years ago, she had been e-mailed a humorous list entitled ‘Twenty Ways You Can Tell You Have Asian Parents.’ Number one on the list: Your parents never, ever call you ‘just to say hello.’ She didn’t get many of the jokes on the list, since her own experience growing up had been entirely different.

That’s the passage that sold me on Crazy Rich Asians. I know, it’s no “Life lilted to the sounds of her soliloquy, skipping across lily pads, seeking to fill her soul with elusive validity” or whatever nonsense collection of pretty sounding words sells people on books these days. That’s all to say, for me, the thrill of Crazy Rich Asians does not rest in sparkling prose but in its revolutionary ordinariness.

You see, in that passage, Rachel, a first generation Chinese American, is reflecting on the differences between herself and other Asian Americans, as a result of considering her differences with Nick, her Chinese Singaporean boyfriend.  A character in a story saying “I’m not like all the other [girls/boys/teens/football players/handsome men named Chris in a comic-book based superhero movie]” is hardly new ground. But an Asian American character specifically contemplating her differences from other Asian and Asian American characters? I feel pretty comfortable betting that you can’t even name another instance of it. Because that would require at least two Asian American or Asian characters, and then a recognition that those characters did not encompass the entire experience of all Asian Americans.

I’m confident making that bet because there are so few mainstream stories that include enough Asians to make that opportunity possible. Only 11 percent of network TV shows in 2015 even had more than one Asian actor in its main cast. There have only ever been three network sitcoms featuring an Asian American family. Ever. There have been that many network sitcoms featuring a group of predominantly white friends with the word “Friends” in the title in the last decade. And that’s not even including “Friends”! (Best Friends Forever, Friends with Better Lives, and Friends with Benefits, in case anyone was wondering. Yes, I watched every episode of them all, in case anyone was wondering again.)  And TV is the medium where Asian actors are doing the best. Want to know how many major studio films featured an Asian actor in the leading role in 2015? Zero. None. In 2015, only 3.9 percent of characters were Asian, the same as in 2007, despite the fact that Asians are the fastest growing demographic group in the US.

That’s hardly shocking, I hope, because we’ve all been outraged about whitewashing for like a solid two years now. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know that I need to rehash it. But, for the sake of propriety, let’s just see how many movie characters were whitewashed in say… the last ten years: Allison Ng in Aloha (Emma Stone), Mindy Park in The Martian (Mackenzie Davis), The Ancient One in Doctor Strange (Tilda Swinton), Light Yagami (nee Turner???) in Death Note (Nat Wolff), Motoko Kusanagi in Ghost in the Shell (Scarlett Johansson), Khan in Star Trek: Into Darkness (Benedict Cumberbatch), Hae-Joo Chang in Cloud Atlas (Jim Sturgess), Boardman Mephi in Cloud Atlas (Hugo Weaving), the Archivist in Cloud Atlas (James D’Arcy), Aang in Avatar: The Last Airbender (Noah Ringer), Lena in Annihilation (Natalie Portman), Goku in Dragonball Evolution (Justin Chatwin), Keiji Kiriya in Edge of Tomorrow (Tom Cruise), Kyo Kusanagi in The King of Fighters (Sean Faris), everyone in 21, and everyone in Speed Racer. In the last ten years. And that’s not even counting the characters who were not necessarily whitewashed, but were still inexplicably white: The Last Samurai, The Great Wall, the random white person POV in the Bruce Lee biopic Birth of the Dragon, those seven seconds on the Internet when the Mulan script had a white dude. I guess what I’m saying is, thanks Ed Skrein for opting out of Hellboy.

And so, Crazy Rich Asians is revolutionary. Sure, its satirization of class is nothing that Pride and Prejudice hasn’t done. And it’s got a Game of Thrones convoluted web of familial relations. And a Tolkein-esque love of a tangential backstory for a tertiary character (no one ever needs to know anything about Bernard Tai). But it’s not a bunch of white people in Regency era England or Westeros or Middle Earth. It’s a bunch of Asian people in the 21st century. And so when Rachel says she doesn’t identify with a Buzzfeed list, I not only get the reference, I feel it. It’s a mundane aside that feels written for me--not written for an Asian audience generally, but written for me specifically. It’s the kind of representation you only get when identity assumes the role of a character’s foundation, not a character’s personality: when you can no longer win a game of Taboo by giving the hint “the Asian one.”

It’s the type of representation that allows me to feel no pause about decrying how Eddie should just be written out of Fresh Off the Boat (send him off to college, already) because that show still has the rest of the Huang family. The Fresh Off the Boat gag about not knowing the dishwasher was more than a drying rack? That’s the hardest I’ve laughed at a TV show in ages, as a person who hadn’t run a dishwasher until he was 24, despite having grown up with one in the house. The extended bit about having to prepare for Asian glow? Still funny, but I’ll die of alcohol poisoning before there are any signs that I’m visibly drunk. When every joke is from the perspective of an Asian American family, I don’t feel lost when a few aren’t for me.

I love Fresh Off the Boat because it’s a great family sitcom. It’s funny and heartwarming and totally accessible. And as a network sitcom entering its fifth season, that’s all it needs to be. Because if you’re looking for a different flavor of representation on TV? Try Master of None or Kim’s Convenience.  Or The Good Place, in case you identify with a sweet, dumb molotov cocktail or a fancy British giraffe. Or Superstore, for either sass or sadness personified. There might not be a buffet of TV sitcom representation, but at least the prix fixe menu has some decent options.

And books are much the same. Crazy Rich Asians (and then China Rich Girlfriend… and then Rich People Problems) is fun, pop spectacle. It’s propulsive, with drama escalating through multiple storylines until they can’t help but burst into each other. It’s a great beach read. It’s a story you could live tweet. But you’d be disappointed if you were looking to read a rumination on identity and place in America or scrolls of lofty prose. The great thing about books, though, is that there are so many of them. So if you want those things? You could probably find it somewhere.

I don’t know that I realized how truly powerful it was to feel like something was crafted just for you until devouring Chemistry by Weike Wang. Chemistry is about an Asian American PhD student who leaves her PhD program in part because she feels like she lacks the motivation to dedicate her life to answering single research questions. She’s frustrated by lab work, by the unpredictability of scientific research. When she leaves her program, she tutors kids in science - and she so clearly loves science, as she peppers scientific trivia throughout the narrative. Her voice is deadpan and her thinking analytical. Switch some pronouns around, and I’m pretty sure I just wrote an autobiography circa 2012.  

It’s hard to describe just how much feeling that catered to entirely changes the power of a piece of art. Honestly, it’s not something I’ve had much occasion to think of. Of course, Chemistry is great for so many more reasons. The writing is breathtaking in its economy. As an author, it feels like Wang can take the same five words and rearrange them into the world’s best joke and the world’s saddest tragedy. Every observation feels elemental - like chemistry, a fundamental truth of this world that Wang has just discovered. And as any good scientist, Wang has published those truths for the benefit of the public.

Celeste Ng has a similar knack for observation that’s on full display in Little Fires Everywhere. Now, Little Fires Everywhere is not primarily about Asian American characters. The only prominent Asian character does alight the most dramatic narrative in the book - a custody battle smoked in class and race wars. Still, I can’t say I particularly identify with the character, a Chinese immigrant so impoverished she leaves her child on a doorstep. But that’s not to say I don’t identify with the book. Because Little Fires Everywhere is a book about white identity, written from the outside looking in. Set in a midwest town in the 90s, race smolders in the background. Instead of merely being the default setting, the characters’ whiteness is a clear choice. It’s on full display. Much as it’s impossible to not notice the Asianness of a Mr. Miyagi, it’s impossible not to see the Richardsons’ every move as coded with whiteness.

And that perspective - the one that notices when things are particularly white - is something I can identify with. Little Fires is much more subtle about noticing whiteness than I am though. Where I muttered “this is some white nonsense” when a bar trivia category was “songs with the world ‘sail,’” Ng has the McCulloughs promise to feed a child Chinese food to connect her with her culture. Or has Lexie, whose boyfriend is black, declare that it’s so great that no one sees race in their town. Or has Mrs. Richardson feel entitled to barrel headfirst into affairs she has no business being part of. It’s in the claustrophobia that builds from the deliberate confines of the setting: a utopic, white-picket fenced community decidedly apart from the less desirable fringes of the town. A subtly observed us vs. them, where the central characters are almost certainly the “them.” In its hyper-awareness of whiteness, Little Fires gives its reader a sense of what every person of color lives through.

For me, Little Fires Everywhere and Chemistry and Crazy Rich Asians and Fresh Off the Boat are excellent forms of representation, even as they’re all incredibly different. And I am so grateful that all of these things exist. They’re great as independent works of art. And they’re even better for me, because I get to have the joy of being on the inside of the inside jokes.

But still. Not a single character in any of the works I’ve referenced is Japanese American. Not a single character in any of those works is a fourth generation Asian American. But I don’t blame those works for that. Those works are at least giving me something I recognize - an outsider's perspective on whiteness, a former PhD candidate, an exasperation with Buzzfeed lists, a family that doesn’t use their dishwasher. I would just like more. And when it comes to movies, I would just like any. Crazy Rich Asians is at least something. And all I’m asking for is something. And then, well, and then I’d like more something.

Because I am so glad that a story exists where an Asian person sees-and then rejects-a list of items that attempts to encompass every Asian American. Oh and as a last note? My parents really don’t ever call me “just to say hello.”

#crazy rich asians #little fires everywhere #fresh off the boat #chemistry

[fraink5-writes]

Human Qualification- Chapter 11

November 4

Chapter 11 in the 11th month? This is the last of those coincidences, I regret to say. 

Additionally, if you haven’t seen the new, beautiful art for chapter 9, please do! Thank you, @4nimenut!

As always, I’d like to thank @missmizpah @gracieuxetoile and @deathly-oreos for beta-reading!

Summary: To slowly lose all your functions until you are nothing but a trapped mind in a deteriorated shell, that’s what it means to be ‘No Longer Human.’ 

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

“You’re up early...” Dazai groaned into his pillow when Chuuya waltzed into the room, a light tune on his lips.

“Yeah, I have important plans today.” The redhead shot Dazai a look. “Don’t you also have plans you need to be getting ready for?”

“I do, but…” Dazai rolled over, reluctant to actually sit up. “This is more comfortable.”

Chuuya had murder in his eyes, but he sighed. “I’m taking the bathroom. You better be off your ass when I get out.”

“Roger.” Dazai lay in his bed for a few moments, listening to the stream of Chuuya’s singing from the bathroom before standing up—or trying to. Instead, he thudded onto the floor before he could even comprehend what had happened.

“Dazai?” Chuuya’s head popped out of the door, eyes widening as he saw Dazai grimacing on the ground. He hurried over. “What the fuck happened?”

“Nothing.” Dazai smiled over his concern. “I just misstepped.”

But his body was working against his lies. As Dazai attempted to lift himself up, the ground became unstable below his feet, and he began to sway. To Dazai’s embarrassment, Chuuya caught him, both hands on his waist. Dazai couldn’t let Chuuya see his face, the mixture of blush and shame. “...Chuuya.”

“Right. Sorry.” But Chuuya didn’t remove his hands. “Look, if you don’t feel up to it, we don’t have to do anything today.”

Dazai slowly pried his partner’s fingers from his sides. “You should finish getting ready.” He sat down immediately, contemplating what just happened. It felt natural—Chuuya’s hands on his waist—but he wouldn’t accept it if it meant he couldn’t stand. He refused to accept that fact, and he refused to let it interfere with his plans.

Slowly, Dazai lumbered around the room, leaning against the wall for some support. He rummaged through his clothes. What would be worthy of such an occasion? It occured to Dazai, hopelessly too late, that he had never really invested in nice clothing. Chuuya would probably be disappointed in anything in his wardrobe. Giving up, he pulled out his black suit and was filled with a sad nostalgia—a feeling which was unfamiliar to Dazai but he had begrudgingly resigned to its increasing presence. It had been too long since he last wore the outfit—it had been his favorite when Dazai actually left the house. He smiled weakly, unable to give it up so soon. A few months ago, he would have never imagined that he would redon the suit to go on a date with Chuuya.

After a bit, Chuuya exited the bathroom, dressed in a white button-down with a pair of black pants. Of course his choker and gloves were there, but overall, it was very simple for the redhead. “That’s what you’re wearing?” Dazai blurted.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, asshole? You’re wearing that same-old suit again.”

“I didn’t mean it as an insult. I was just surprised.”

“Well…” Chuuya fidgeted with his collar. “I figured since I wasn’t working, I could dress a little more casually.” He smirked. “I didn’t want to outdo you too much.”

Ignoring Chuuya’s remark, Dazai fumbled with the tie around his neck. It was useless; the material would slip from his fingers before he could make a knot.

“Let me help you.” Chuuya sat down on the bed next to Dazai. “Also, you forgot your buttons, idiot.” Dazai had given up on those earlier.

Chuuya’s hands worked on Dazai’s buttons one by one, sliding up his chest. Dazai was still confused how he wound up with a date with Chuuya. He thought he knew Chuuya, that he could read him through and through. And yet, when Chuuya kissed him the other day, Dazai was caught off guard. For some reason, Dazai could never imagine Chuuya feeling anything about him besides annoyance. Or maybe he knew, repressing the thought with his own feelings. Even now, as the two of them sat inches apart, Dazai couldn’t settle his thoughts. It would be cruel to really fall in love with Chuuya only to die too soon. Dazai had enough decency not to play with his partner like that. Perhaps it would be cruel to himself too. Dazai didn’t want another thing to lose.

He stopped his thoughts before they went further. Dazai wouldn’t lose anything. There was nothing in his life, Dazai reminded himself. He had always wanted to die.

Either way, Dazai would go on this date. He wasn’t one to go back on his word. He never promised Chuuya his heart anyway, only a date.

“Hmm.. while we wait, smile.” Dazai lifted his phone to show Chuuya, sitting across from him, his camera.

Although he initially looked confused, Chuuya proudly struck several poses. “This is unexpected.”

“I figured you’d like it—the sentimentality and egoism.”

“No way. I’m just posing, so next time you get dressed, you have something to reference.”

“For what not to wear?”

“No, shithead, this is just regular clothes—unlike that bandage mess. If you didn’t wear clo—”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Chuuya?” Dazai grinned.

Chuuya’s face erupted with his temper, but before he could respond, it was extinguished by the arrival of the waitress. “Voilà, your dinner. Bon appétit.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird, sharing a meal?” Dazai asked as the waitress placed the pot onto the flame between him and Chuuya.

“Not at all. It’s a meal meant to be shared, not just between two people, but multiple people.”

“Well, it seems like an experience,” Dazai said with a shrug, peering into the pot of melted cheese.

“Just skewer the bread and dip it in the cheese. Like this.” Chuuya made his demonstration, put the bread in his mouth and smiled with delight. “Don’t be a coward. Try it.”

“I’m not a coward.” For a minute, Dazai hesitated before picking up the long fork in his hand. It fell. Dazai didn’t consider himself to be a master of western eating utensils, but certainly he could do better than that. It wasn’t working. His fondue fork slipped again and again from his grasp. Finally, he resigned and grabbed the fork’s handle like screwdriver and uncomfortably stabbed a piece of bread. With his unnatural grip, he plunged the bread into the pot, letting it drown in the cheesy lava. But when he pulled it up, it was gone.

“Haha!” Chuuya snickered. “You lost it!”

Dazai was not amused by Chuuya’s laughter.

“Sorry. It happens to everyone; you’ll get the hang of it.” But Dazai figured he’d never get the hang of it. He didn’t even bother retrieving his lost bread from the fondue sea; instead, he took a stab at another piece of bread. This one fell onto the table, then his lap, and finally the floor—that was where it was going to stay.

After a number of failed attempts, Chuuya finally noticed Dazai’s behavior. “Hey, Dazai. Are you going to actually eat?”

Dazai didn’t have a response. He didn’t want to admit that he was struggling. Even if it was his first time eating fondue, this amount of failure was unnatural. He put the fork down, trying to pass it off as anything but the truth.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m just not hungry.”

“But you haven’t eaten fucking anything.” Chuuya’s gaze with filled with dissatisfaction and inspection.

“Say ‘ahh.’”

“What?” Dazai nearly choked.

“‘Ahh.’”

“No way! That’s embarrassing!” Dazai’s face was consumed with red.

“It’s fine. No one is looking.”

“Yeah, but it’s a thing that lovey-dovey coup—” Suddenly, his speech was interrupted with warm bread and cheese.

“We’re on a date, remember?” Chuuya’s smile looked smug. “How is it?”

“It’s…” Dazai swished the taste in his mouth. “Delicious.”

“Right? Now hurry up, or it will go cold.” Without waiting for a response, Chuuya prepared another piece of bread.

“Huh—” Perhaps Dazai would have been more successful at stopping Chuuya if didn’t open his mouth at all. But Chuuya wouldn’t allow that, continually provoking Dazai and shoving bread into his mouth until the cheese was cold.

“See? That was good, wasn’t it?” Chuuya grinned victoriously.

Dazai gulped down the bread stuffed in his mouth. “For you, I suppose.” Dazai wouldn’t let Chuuya be so pleased with his accomplishment, even if he enjoyed the experience, savoring the unusual intimacy of the moment. Yet now that it had ended, a bitter aftertaste seeped in, flavored with shame and weakness. Dazai was akin to a baby—unable to take care of himself, dependent on someone else to feed him. Since when had he become like this? He stared down at his body, at the thinly masked bones which made up his ribcage. He looked away with a shudder.

“Shall we go?” Chuuya stood and extended Dazai a hand, which Dazai was reluctant to take.

The world seemed to shift under Dazai’s feet when he stood up. In a manner which was much less discreet than he wanted, he propelled off the seats of strangers to work his way through the restaurant towards the exit. This flimsy facade ended quickly when he stumbled onto a surprised diner.

“Sorry,” Dazai mumbled, his face turned red. As he hobbled away, an arm slipped around his back, and a hand settled comfortably at his side. Chuuya grinned at him, pressing closer into his side. “What, what are you doing?” Dazai asked.

“We’re on a date, remember?” Chuuya said in a sweet voice before dropping to a whisper. “Put your arm around me, bastard.”

Dazai complied, resting his arm around the redhead’s shoulders. In response, Chuuya blushed with frustration. How amusing. When he was like this, Chuuya was quite teasable, and Dazai couldn’t help but play with the uneven ends of his russet hair. Chuuya made a visible effort not to react.

Normally, Dazai would be encouraged to further provoke Chuuya, but he was preoccupied with other thoughts. The warmth of Chuuya’s body pressed next to his—it was comforting but unwarranted. It was not an embrace out of love but rather out of pity. Feeling gross, Dazai squirmed from Chuuya’s hold.

“Not feeling as touchy as before?” Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s arm before he could entirely escape.

“No.” Dazai didn’t want to delve into the matter, so he let Chuuya keep a firm grip on his arm. He was eager to change the subject of conversation—but he didn’t have the first idea of what to talk about on their date. He knew way too much about Chuuya for an ordinary first date—and with his other dates, he had never went beyond that point. “So, umm… how’s...” He could do better than ask about the weather. “...how’s work?”

“It’s fine.” Chuuya shrugged. “You know, the usual.” Dazai found it bizarre that Chuuya didn’t want to talk about his job which he loved so much, but he wasn’t going to complain. The topic of work made Dazai rather depressed recently. Chuuya’s lips parted, and Dazai couldn’t guess what would come out of them. He couldn’t possibly ask about Dazai’s recent activities—both of them were aware he had done nothing. Finally: “how’s the weather?”

Dazai stifled his laugh. “Can’t feel the weather down there, chibi?”

With a pinch, Chuuya cut off the circulation in Dazai’s arm. “I just figured you forgot what weather feels like since you haven’t lift the apartment in a month,” he snapped.

Dazai couldn’t argue with that pointed observation. “It’s fine,” he sighed. “I prefer the weather after a storm though. That’s when the rivers are deepest.” Dazai chose to ignore Chuuya’s deadpan stare. “What’s your favorite weather, Chuuya?” Dazai already knew the answer: days when nothing beat down overbearingly on Chuuya—no rain, no snow, no sun either—much like the day they were having.

“I like cloudy weather, like today.”

In such a way, Dazai and Chuuya carried on their meaningless chatting, asking basic questions they already knew the answers of. It was the closest they could get to a normal date—which Dazai decided was utterly unexciting.

“Chuuya, can we sit down somewhere?” Dazai relented to his unsteady legs and sat dejectedly on the nearest bench. When Chuuya joined him, Dazai made no notice, caught up in his thoughts. He wondered what direction the date would take next and whether he even wanted it to. Dazai was physically and mentally exhausted. Throughout the outing, Dazai had been repeatedly reminded of his incompetence. Maybe the whole thing was a mistake. When such thoughts entered his mind, Dazai didn’t dare look at his partner.

“You must be tired. We can go back, if that’s what you want,” Chuuya said, but Dazai wasn’t listening to the words.

“Chuuya.” Dazai finally looked up, staring directly into Chuuya’s intense, cobalt eyes. His lips had curled into a slight frown. Dazai hastily suppressed the thoughts which bubbled up and colored his cheeks. “Why did you go on this date with me? Do you love me? Or do you pity me?”

Chuuya blushed with embarrassment then anger. “You asshole!” He swung his fist with full momentum but landed it gently on Dazai’s chest. “You fucking know I can’t answer that question!”

“Why not?”

“No matter what I say, you’re not going to like the answer! And I—” Chuuya was cut off by his own shaky breaths.

“I understand.” Dazai sighed. Chuuya was right: he would never be satisfied with either answer. Perhaps he was expecting Chuuya to resolve his own confusion. “I’m sorry. Let’s just go back.”

Dazai stood up slowly from the bench, but he was yanked back down. “Wait.” Despite his assertion, Chuuya wouldn’t make eye-contact. “What I did today—it wasn’t out of pity. I still need time to sort things out, but I know that much. So don’t look at today as a mistake.”

Dazai was awed; he often underestimated his partner’s ability to see right to his core. “Thank you, Chuuya.” Dazai lifted Chuuya’s chin to face him and gently pressed his lips against Chuuya’s.

“Y-you’re making it difficult for me to think things out, i-idiot.”

“There isn’t enough time to think things out,” Dazai spoke in whisper. “And—” he smirked—”we’re on a date, remember?”

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#Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Human Qualification #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya

[thewritehag]

Primary Research: The Chocolate Maker and the Chocolate Witch

[my patreon]

Taste is a restaurant and chocolate cafe. It used to be an art studio, the building owned by the same people, and one that I can only sort of remember passing by. When Taste first went up, my sister and I wanted to stop in, but it appeared to be a "call first" sort of place and, until a sign was put out in the years following, it still looked that way. But, we knew about it and that prompted my initial email requesting an interview to help me better understand chocolate production for, Witching.

Liliana-Eneko Sloane is the matriarch of the Sloane family, property, and the Witch Matriarch for one of six of the main Witch families. She is also Berenice Sloane's (Witching's main protagonist) mom. She is a water witch who controls the water in a deep well beneath the Sloane property and channels her witching into her gardening, but mainly in her cacao plants, inconceivably growing in the high mountains of southeastern Idaho (in the fictional town of Leicester). So that I can understand the mechanics of what she does better, I wanted to develop my own knowledge in chocolate production.

~

I've been living in Provo my entire life, yet I forgot how the parking situation is on Center Street, how the traffic is. So, trapped in a spot directly in front of the new LDS temple and former LDS tabernacle, I checked my fail safe recording app after my interview with the Chocolate Maker. It had not saved. Caught between a wall of cars, pavement, and the smell of Belgium cut fries, I reran over what he and I talked about. Then, after getting back into traffic after a kind individual waved me on in  and a smelly trip back to my office, I sat down at my computer and attempted to recall what happened.

Taste is located on University Avenue, further from where I parked than I had estimated, but the walk was quick. Warmer outside than in my always chilly office, the sun was bright and the sky almost completely clear. I passed business people on their lunch and not a few people going to whatever convention was being held at the center of town. It is a one-story, red brick building, wide windows and a minimalist logo belied by the homey touches of the interior.

I was greeted by Taylor, who was the one to setup our meeting months after I extended my request. I thought I was reaching out to a chocolatier and one who guarded their secrets the way chefs and artists are thought to do often.

Rather than being greeted by hauteur or stiffness, Taylor was amiable and welcoming. Thick glasses framed her eyes and her tawny hair was brought up into a tight ponytail. She sat me down with a carafe of water and two glasses, a purple flower decorated the center of all the tables, then went to get her father Morgan. The Chocolate Maker

While waiting, I observed and was observed in turn by the other restaurant patrons: a family that made me think of German tourists, waited upon by a man I was unable to meet who was giving them a sample of Taste's chocolate tastings, the specialty. I smiled when my camera, on its blue and black flexible tripod, was stared at while I set it up, then Morgan arrived.

Taller than Taylor by a few inches and me by a few inches more, his hair was salt and pepper, though his brown apron complimented it and his beard in such a way I can only remember them as matching. We shook hands and I hit record on my camera. It failed. The battery gone, though it had not been in use and was with a full charge before. I will never unplug it again until right before another such outing. Instead, my phone ready and the best fail safe a writer can have--pen and paper--ready, we began.

"What got you interested in becoming a chocolatier?" I asked first.

He told me he wasn't a chocolatier, but a chocolate maker. This was even better. Liliana Eneko-Sloane isn't a chocolatier either, but a water witch who grows and processes her own chocolate to sell in the Thorned Page (chocolate cafe and speculative bookshop). Morgan took this idea in with grace. I didn't tell him the story's set in Idaho.

In a room connected to the restaurant by bricks and large windows, are a series of metal boxes, where the beans are processed and made into chocolate. Morgan told me how it was the machinery that romanced him into chocolate making, not just the love of the product. He used to do printing on paper and is an artist in other ways, and chocolate making is also an art.  After moving the art studio and buying the machinery, Taste began.  

The love of chocolate came about the way it does with almost everyone: it was the smell. Most of chocolate's flavor is in the smell. Through over cooking, baking, roasting, so goes away the taste. Morgan told me how in the UK, he disembarked a bus with his mother and the sweet, earthy smell drew them into the streets and to a shop in England. This launched into how the Pump Street Bakery  bakes phenomenal bread and uses those ovens to roast their cocoa beans, and how those two products became built into each other (I have an untrained palate, but the bar I got tastes nice). This begins what makes a chocolate maker different than a chocolatier.

The chocolatier takes the finished product and goes from there to potentially make beautiful pieces that shine decadence, the kind you are loathed to take apart and consume. The chocolate maker's whole process is the art. From the growing, the selection, fermentation, chew, roast, grind, conching, taste and consumption is the purpose and thus, the art. There's a chocolate bar from Lithuania made with Hungarian paprika  (cheaper at Taste's online store than Amazon dot com, oddly) that looks more like tile work than treat and I was struck how it is almost profoundly sad to eat it, but can it be chocolate if it's not consumed? Is it art if it doesn't melt between your teeth?

A raw cocoa bean from Madagascar taste like strawberry liqueur in the chew stage, before it could be processed. Like wine, chocolate flavors vary depending on region, the type of cocoa plant, and how many times they were turned during fermentation. The types of chocolate that Taste serves at their bar--a literal bar with stools--are the ones I was excited to hear the most about. There are several ways to make hot chocolate, even "chocolate tea," as well as iced chocolate, and a sipping chocolate that is dark chocolate so thick, it's just melted. Later, I found the cream the sipping chocolate is made from is very high quality, but I am still allergic to it.

The machines in Taste are not usual to chocolate production. They are neither small or industrial sized, but are medium; just right for the location and ones that make sense for Liliana, too. It's just meant for their city, as is Taste (for now, as I can't presume to know their expansion plans), and for moderate production. For experimentation with flavors and additions, Morgan said a food processor is good for the "quick and dirty."

Quick and dirty experiments are judging what different additions do with the cocoa beans as the flavors develop together. For example, salt brings out sweetness and caramel explores depths. Herbs and fruit enhance similar notes, milk or cream adjusts the bitterness, also countered with sugar. Unlike salt, herbs, peppercorns, fruit, or other spices that are often added at the very end of processing, sugar is added at the grind stage. It means just what it sounds like.

Here's where the hard facts of chocolate making and cacao came into our conversation. I won't go too much into it, as it's all information that I can look up (have done and will again) as secondary research.

After grinding the chocolate, it gets conched. Conching is the surface scraper that also agitates to distribute the cocoa butter evenly through the dry chocolate, both in the cacao nibs. It helps with flavor development through friction. Morgan called it polishing the molecules.

Cacao nibs are the pretentious stuff you can buy to pretend to be healthy, but is also chocolate in its purest, most basic form. Taste uses them to make chocolate, but also their chocolate tea: hot water strained through cacao nibs with a regular tea strainer or a french press (ah, Utah). $10 per tin or I would've gotten it.

At the end of our interview, we talked somewhat of the benefits of growing the beans yourself, then processing them, as opposed to importing/exporting. In the long run, it's more cost-effective and likely more ethical. The details began to get lost as Morgan was careful to state that chocolate making is, after the basics of processing, an art; each maker has their own way of doing things. It's those kinds of vagueries that make me, a writer, feel good about the BS in which I so revel.

~

Attached here are the pictures I took that day and my interview script, and never-ever-fail notes that I took and later transcribed, and included what mattered to Witching.  

Interview tips:

Research beforehand

Have a list of prepared questions that you are comfortable using and deviating from

Multiple recording devices, including pens/pencils and paper.

[dinahinthehat]

PART I

BASIC INFORMATION.

What is your character’s full name ?

Dinah Moon

How is it pronounced ?

ˈdaɪnə mun

Is there a meaning behind it ?

The name Dinah means judge or judgemental. It’s a biblical name that appears only once: as a daughter of Jacob who is raped and then avenged by her two brothers.

She doesn’t particularly feel identified with the name’s meaning and backstory, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t interesting to read about. She’s asked her parents many times before why they’d chosen said name, to which her mother often answers with a wonderful tale ( different every time ) about a lady she met with said name on one of her many travels. His father has confessed the name was actually just picked out from a magazine, but she chooses to ignore this piece of information.

Does your character have any nicknames ?

Little kitten

When and where were they born ?

Born on March 4th, 1998, in Carthay.

What’s their zodiac sign and what traits do they most relate to ?

Sun Pisces: empathetic, intuitive, imaginative,

Rising Cancer: sensitive, nostalgic, creative

Moon Gemini: cheerful, open-minded, need to communicate

What’s their nationality ?

She holds two passports, one for the United States of America and one for the Republic of Korea (South Korea).

What’s their occupation ?

Student

What gender do they identify themselves as ?

Female

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

What’s their eye color ?

Brown

Do they wear glasses or contacts ?

Neither. Only wears glasses when she feels her sight is tired.

Hair color ?

Dark Brown

Have they ever dyed their hair or wanted to ?

Yes, she has dyed her hair multiple times, though she’s rarely ever kept the color for more than a couple of months. Most of the times, she’s gone for pastel tips and a caramel brown.

Height ?

5′ 4″

Body build ?

Slim

Do they have any birthmarks ?

A small light brown mark on her stomach’s right side. It’s no wider than a quarter and shaped like a paint brush stroke.

Do they have any piercings or tattoos ?

She has both of her ears pierced ( one in her right lobe and two on her left lobe– one just above the other ) and a small tattoo on her right ankle: A handful of daisies in colorful ink.

If not, do they want to get some ?

She's not entirely sure if she’d want any more. Probably only an extra piercing on her right ear to match her left one.

Do they have a healthy life style ?

Hell no. she doesn’t smoke or drink often and she’s never done drugs, but, Dinah hardly ever has a healthy meal on purpose and considers exercise as her mortal enemy. Yoga and tea are probably the healthiest parts of her life.

How easy do they get sick ?

Yes. She constantly has the flu and gets throat infections at least once every three months. That’s about it though, her stomach can handle just about any abuse by now.

Any marks on their body ( injuries, … ) ?

Surprisingly, no. Most of her scars fade.

What’s their personal style/how do they like to dress ?

She loves dresses and sandals. The color pink is very present in her closet and she’s hardly ever spotted outside without a piece that glitter– whether it’s a shimmering shirt, glittery shoes or shining jewelry. If she’s spotted wearing full-length jeans, you should stop and ask if something’s wrong.

What is their favorite and least favorite feature about themselves ?

Favorite: Her hair because she loves to play with it.

Least Favorite: Her height. She doesn’t mind it sometimes but it just makes things hard. She hates not being able to reach things.

PERSONALITY.

Positive traits ?

Creative, optimistic, adventurous

Negative traits ?

Selfish, sensitive, scared

What do they consider to be the best and the worst part of their personality ?

Best: Her open mind.

Worst: Her dependency on others.

Are they more extroverted or introverted ?

Extroverted whenever they know you, introverted the rest of the time.

Any talents ?

Collage crafting, flower growing.

What are their fears ?

Ending up alone, horror movies, large bodies of water and creepy things in the dark.

Do they have any phobias ?

Large bodies of water.

What is their soft spot ?

Flowers, art and Alice Lee.

List 3 pet-peeves they can’t stand ?

People talking with their mouths full, when my nail polish chips & whenever anyone judges me for not making my bed.

EDUCATION.

How far did they go in school ? Are they still studying ?

She's a College Junior. Currently majoring in business– not that it was her choice. She just doesn’t really identify herself with a single major, but her parents insist she must get herself a degree in something.

Do/Did they like school ?

She did, the social aspect of it. Classes where interesting and meeting new people was great, but that doesn’t mean she was specially fond of homework and exams.

What type of student are/were they ?

She was the kind of student that pays attention whenever she’s interested and daydreams whenever she’s not. Very brilliant in some subjects such as history and literature, but hardly ever the straight-A student since she struggled to actually sit down and do her homework or study.

What is/was their favorite subject ?

Art

And their least favorite ?

P.E.

What were they/would they have been voted as “most likely to…” in the yearbook ?

Most likely to sleep through an earthquake.

FAMILY.

Who are your character’s parents ?

Hanna & Joe Moon

How would your character describe them ?

She would describe her mother as one of the strongest, yet kindest women she’s ever met. Her father is a big softy, though he’s more of a logical thinker ( which might just be the reason why he has such a hard time understanding his daughter ). They’re both very caring, yet independent. A couple of overachievers that have decided not to owe anything to anyone.

Do they have any siblings ?

No.

Are they close with their family ?

She is very close with her parents, she trusts them with everything.

ROMANCE & SEXUALITY.

What’s their romantic and sexual orientation ?

Pansexual.

Are they seeing anyone right now ?

Nope.

Have they ever been in an relationship ?

She has, but nothing ever that meaningful.

Have they ever been in love ?

With nutella, yes.

How easy do they fall for someone ?

Not that easy. She develops crushes every now and then but she hardly ever sees them as nothing more than a pleasant view. While she’s a romantic at heart, the fact that romance might be found in real life and not only in her dreamland escapes her some times.

In their view, why didn’t any past relationships work out ?

Because she wasn’t what they were looking for.

What do they look for in someone ?

An open heart, caring ways and a sure companion for her many adventures.

Do they believe in love at first sight ? or fate ?

Fate maybe, but not love at first sight. She thinks it takes a little more than a glance to know the other person’s a compatible.

What’s their views on romance ? Do they go after it or avoid it ?

She doesn’t go after it, but she doesn’t avoid it either. She believes it must be the most beautiful of adventures.

Did they have their first time already ? How was it in their point of view ?

She has, but it wasn’t exactly the best experience ever. She felt used rather than loved and that feeling didn’t sit well with her.

What is their view on sex ?

She thinks it’s a nice and fun adventure. Not that big of a deal, really. BUT, that doesn’t mean she goes about her life giving free sex to anyone. Sex itself is nice but... it’s like this: If somebody goes to the movies with you just because they want to see a movie and you’re the only one available, then the experience is kind of sad because they don’t actually want to go with he movies with you. Going to the movies with someone is only nice when they want to go to the movies because they want to spend some time with you. Otherwise, you’re better off watching the movie on your own.

What are their turn ons and turn offs ?

Turn ons: DIMPLES, pretty eyes.

Turn offs: The smell of cigarettes or fish.

Were they ever cheated on or have they cheated on someone ?

She’s been cheated once by some high school boyfriend. She’s never cheated on anyone, though.

Do they want to get married in the future ?

She thinks so, yes.

Have kids ?

She’s not sure about that one just yet.

QUIRKS.

Are they right or left handed ?

Left-handed

What’s a word that’s always on their lips ?

Gosh & pretty!

Is there a saying they keep on repeating ?

Not really.

Do they curse ?

Never. If she does, then she’s super scared or angry.

What’s their worst habit ?

Secretly resenting her close friends whenever they spend time with other people.

Do they drink or smoke ? How frequently ?

Almost never.

Are they an early bird or a night owl ?

Night owl, definitely.

How tidy is their room ?

Not at all. However, it’s not dirty. Things are just all over the place.

How long to they usually take getting ready in the morning ?

About two hours.

FAVORITES.

What’s their favorite color ?

Pink

Favorite movie ?

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Music Genre ?

Pop and alternative rock??

Food ?

Sweet

Book ?

Emma by Jane Austen

Favorite non-alcoholic drink ?

Green Tea with Jasmine.

Ice Cream Flavor ?

Strawberry

Indoors or outdoors ?

Both, really.

PART II

The cutie

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCutie

Dinah fits quite well in the trope. She’s cute, she’s sweet and she can be a little childish. Although her voice is not child-like and she’s not exactly naïve in many subjects, she remains a sweet natured girl with a cute personality.

Innocent flower girl

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InnocentFlowerGirl

Although the trope states this girl is supposed to make a living out of growing and selling flowers, Dinah fits in every other aspect. She’s nice and kind, with a good heart. But most importantly, she loves to do all kinds of things with flowers: from growing them in her tiny garden, to making flower crowns and flower pressed art with them.

Spoiled sweet

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpoiledSweet

She grew up never needing anything. Although she’s not crazy rich, her family is wealthy. Meaning, Dinah grew up a little spoiled and pampered. This did not affect her good nature, though. She remains to be generous, kind and only a little selfish when it comes to the attention of the ones she loves the most.

Spirited young lady

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpiritedYoungLady

A very proper lady. Grew up knowing all about etiquette and proper speech and good education. And though she applies most of it into her everyday life (by having correct posture, never swearing and always being polite), she’s got that spark the spirited young lady has. The one that makes her go off into adventure and makes her eyes be curious ones.

Flower in her hair

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlowerInHerHair

It’s pretty simple. She’s the kind of girl that wears flowers in her hair. She often seeks the company of others that too love making flower crowns and braiding pretty daisies on their braids, so they can do each other’s hair.

Desperately looking for a purpose in life

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DesperatelyLookingForAPurposeInLife

Although she’s a happy child, Dinah can get a little sad sometimes– Not that she’d let anyone see. It’s just... growing up. She sees all of the people around her growing up and getting a sense of purpose and she’s just left feeling kind of stuck and alone. She’s yet to find her own thing.

#「 𝓒haracter 」 #carthaytask #carthaytask001

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Review Special: Blippo.com Order

Initially my plans for today was to do my review on the December Doki Doki crate. But wouldn’t you know it, not only did I get the newest Gacha Gacha box, but my order from Blippo.com showed up too!

Exactly 2 weeks after shipping, the box arrived. So I figured I would do this review, Doki Doki (because I had it done and ready), then Gacha Gacha.

So in this review, I will be going over my thoughts and opinions regarding the process, the order, quality, the items, etc.

I was filled with complete anxiety and had a feeling this wouldn’t go well...

So for anyone unfamiliar to Blippo.com, it is the associated shop of Kawaii Box. They sell a variety of kawaii items ranging from stationery to snacks, Japanese magazines, toys, apparel, squishy, etc. They also have “spin-off shops“, the Squishy Kiosk and Happy Cute, a shop that’s almost exactly like Blippo but offers a free purse instead of a random item.

Blippo also offers “mystery packs“ of snacks/squishy/accessories/items for a set price, if you would rather be surprised. I did heavily consider purchasing the squishy one but ultimately decided against it since there is a chance I could get a bunch I already own from Kawaii Box (unless they read this blog and would make sure I didn’t get repeats. But what’s the chance of that?).

So opening the box this is what greeted me: a paper depicting the person who packed this specific order (who I do not blame for the condition of it, thank you very much Sam), and an ad for their snack box and Kawaii Box, both with codes I could use on the.

Oh, also, a pile of packing peanuts. It’s too bad they don’t make cute heart-shaped ones, or maybe some pink ones. That would be an adorable touch.

Okay, so let’s just get on with the items cause this is going to be something else...

Free Items

Now, each order comes with 1 free item if you spend 25 dollars or more. I got 2 because I had a free item code from Kawaii Box.

So today I got a glittery rainbow slinky toy; which I already got, actually I think I got it last summer. I’m disappointed but given the box, at least it’s in one piece right? This would have been the thing I expected to break out of everything else.

We also got this cute little notebook. It’s very thin so it’d only really be useful for little things, or if you wanted to keep it in your purse. The inside has lined pages but is otherwise plain, I also discovered this...

I noticed on my box, it said it could be searched if necessary so I’m not sure who to blame for this.

Before they used to give us a list of items we could choose for our free gift and they weren’t the best things- but I’m pretty sure they were better than this. I know “its free what do you expect“. Honestly I don’t know.

Butter and Soy Sauce Chip Star

I think this item was the worst of them all. The seal was broken open, the tube is bent, the bottom is slightly less-worse. However, because the bag holding the chips was entirely sealed I decided not to just pitch them. Each pack of these are 263 calories.

The chips are okay, I don’t really taste the soy sauce. I mainly taste butter but they aren’t too bad.

Crown and Ribbon Headband

I’ve always had a fondness for things like crowns and tiara, so I fell in love with this when I saw it. It reminded me a lot of something you’d see in Aikatsu, or Pripara, or maybe a Magical Girl series. 

I only own a few headbands and rarely ever wear them, mainly because they give me headaches. It’s been disappointing, and I knew there was a risk in getting this but how could I pass it up?

These are available in pastel shades of Pink, Red, yellow, purple, and light blue. Each one consists of a big lace bow with a smaller bow, a sequin crown, and a small sphere on each tip of the crown. The spheres alter for each one, but are made of the colors of the five different headbands.

I really, really like this! It doesn’t give me a headache or anything, and after all the other damage of the box I was worried this would have suffered. I was surprised by the amazing shape it’s in. Although, one of the little spheres has a very faint stain on it, it’s not too noticeable.

I’m tempted to purchase one of each color so that I can wear them with multiple outfits.

Ice Cream Octopus Blind Bag

I’ve been eyeing this for a long time and I was so happy to finally get one of my own. These are adorable octopus made to resemble scoops of ice cream, and they’re scented and magnetic. The idea is that you can not only carry them on a chain, but you can plug them into your phone to carry around, put on anything that can hold magnets, and they can connect to the other octopus and cones! 

It also turns out the package art was done by TheHollyCopter. I used to watch her on Youtube.

Ironically, I got the one that I thought I would get. I don’t mind because I love smores~ It is scented, it’s kind of like... honey and maybe a little marshmallow or chocolate? It’s kind of weird but  don’t hate it. It’s an extremely soft squishy, but it is a fast riser, maybe an 8 out of 10 in terms of speed. It’s nice if you like soft squishy but don’t care about the rising speed. 

It’s also recommended for anyone 14 and up, but honestly I think these would be fine for anybody at least 8-10 years old.

Unfortunately, these also cost about 13 dollars- which is why I only got one. What bugs me is that I assumed you would get a cone too, but you don’t. So I’m not sure if they only come with some of the octopus, or if you might get a cone instead of an octopus.

For that price, I’m worried about buying another one, even though I really do like it. I’d like to get more but I think I’m going to wait for the time being.

Egg Highlighters

(sorry for the blurry pic)

This is another item I’ve been looking at for a long time, so I was excited to get these :3 It’s a set of 6 small highlighters, each with its own color, expression, and scent. They come in an adorable little pouch to carry them around easier.

The scents are probably very obvious, but I made this chart:

Pink - Strawberry - Strong scent

Peach - Orange - Faint scent

Yellow - Lemon - Very Faint scent

Green - Apple - Light/Medium scent; stronger in the marker than paper

Blue - Blueberry - Very Strong scent

Purple - Grape - Strong scent

As markers for writing or coloring or scribbling, they work great. I had no problem with the ink, but as a highlighter they’re a bit too solid for that, at least blue and purple seem to be. But for circling and underlining it’s fine.

These had a handful of other problems though, like one is “too juicy” around the nub/tip, almost all of them have flaked or smudged faces. But these work really well for me. I read the reviews on Blippo though, and a lot of people had similar problems, so I would warn you to really take thought into this item before you buy it.

Choco Mint Taiyaki & Pretty Cure Gummies

Next up are the 2 other snack items I got. After everything else I wasn’t sure what to expect with them- but I was relieved to find they put them in a zip lock bag. I’ll give them a point for at least doing that.

We’ve been over this before, I’m obsessed with Pretty Cure so I HAD to get these. You get a set of 4 packs, one of each Cure, and the flavors are lemon, peach, and grape, but they each have 2 or all 3 flavors per-pack. Each gummy is rounded with a heart on top, very cute and soft.

If you read my prior review you might recall me mentioning that you would be seeing another taiyaki very soon- and this is it :D I was very enticed to order this when I saw it, because I LOVE mint-chocolate, so a mint flavored chocolate has to be good right?

This thing is AMAZING! The mint flavor is very strong, and there’s a long-lasting cooling sensation in my mouth, even though I only took two bites of it. It feels as good as it tastes~! Would recommend!

Dress-up Puffy Stickers

These are other items I really wanted to get for a long time, but back then they had a bunch- they really downsized now but they still have a bunch of really cute ones. Mostly all of them have 2 different sets includes, but due to how it’s folded I couldn’t show both of them. But don’t worry, because I was considering making a separate post for these if you want to see it up-close and personal. 

I came up with a wonderfully kawaii idea; I’m going to get a pretty notebook or a binder to collect these in. I’ll dress them up and decorate the pages, it’ll be so much fun~

But of course with the box being banged up, this was too. The top portion of it is really bent, and so are a few of the items and one “doll”. But while I might not be able to get rid of the annoying lines in the items, I can at least press this a little to try to rid of the annoying bend.

I really hope when I get more of these that this isn’t a problem again...

~Closing Commentary~

Okay, so to begin with... I’ll say it now, I was highly disappointed by the shape of the box, as well as the fact it’s just an average box. I’ve ordered from the Japan Crate shop before (2 cheap items) and they provided us with a clean, branded box. I’ve also paid more money (but less than this order) for an order from Candysan and got an average box, but at least nothing was damaged and it had a cute thank you letter they send everyone.

They made me feel special for ordering with them basically, and this made me feel distraught. I don’t blame Blippo for the shape of the box, but I can blame them for not putting more effort into their own branding. Although if you buy their “specialty packs“ I mentioned earlier then you’ll get a cute exclusive Blippo bag.

Next, I paid... I think $34.00 dollars for a beaten up box with beaten up or marked up items. I did get everything, and a couple of things were fine, plus I got two free items (one of which is just sad).

I feel like I was punished for free shipping...

All and all, I wouldn’t discourage anyone from ordering from Blippo.com, but if you can afford it I would recommend not doing free shipping, and also, if an item has reviews make sure you look at them before you make a decision.

I had planned on ordering from Blippo next month and changing things up a little to see if it goes any better, but I might just check the other shops related to the other subscriptions I get and see if anything interests me. I’m not sure yet.

Until next time remember to stay cute and keep opening up (hopefully non-beaten up) boxes of cuteness!

#cutie reviews #blippo kawaii shop #kawaiibox

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 90 Thoughts

Have you ever had this perfect story idea in mind, then realized that in order to get to it, you have to write basically an entirely separate book to set it up?

Have you ever decided that you really don’t feel like doing that?

Usually, that is when the words stop and the project goes into a desk drawer. Mostly a figurative one these days.

But--bear with me here--what if...

You just skipped all the boring parts.

There’s something delightful about watching Attack on Titan develop. Art and pacing have come so far since the first chapter, but you still get these glorious flashes where the reveal of our main character’s arch-nemeses is done with such a complete lack of fanfare that you’d be forgiven for thinking you were reading a fake scanlation even if you had the volume open in your hand.

Isayama knows how to craft a story. His telling, on the other hand, regularly spends its time stumbling up to the podium in its pajamas and happily shooting its laser pointer every whichway all over the pretty projections on the screen until you’ve started wondering more about the laser pointer’s battery life than whatever the lecturer was supposed to be saying.

The main reason you don’t want to wrap up a plot point that has been present since day one of your seven years of writing in two pages is because--

Well, presumably that stuff mattered? To the story?

Isayama’s decision to kill off most of the Paradis titans in two pages involves looking at those confused statements, and declaring, “No, not really.”

Authors do not typically do this.

Heck, most stories don’t even get to the point where they can look back at their starting premise (that has survived seven years) and inform the audience that the physical realities of that particular conflict aren’t relevant enough to be worth covering the conclusion extensively.

The story goes that humanity hides away in a cage from the inhuman monsters lurking outside--until they decide to rise and fight.

Those monsters turn out to be human.

We’re technically sticking to the same story we always have been.

We’re just now doing it without titans.

It’s like Isayama looked at his Eldian plot, and thought to himself, gee, this makes that titan problem kind of redundant, doesn’t it?

And the grand solution was to just write the common titans out of the story.

Because that is what you do with plot inconveniences. Naturally.

This is not how satisfying storytelling works.

It is hilarious, and the time frame on dealing with the worldly issues portion of this has adopted a scale that can probably handle it better, and there are a number of things that a time skip can make interesting--but holy fuck how long is that laser pointer’s battery life.

I’m going to harp on about this a little longer than I need to (shocking, I know), because as someone who tries really, really hard to get pacing right, this whole process is incredibly fascinating.

Having introduced the rest of the world to this tiny stage, this one plot detail, it of titanic proportions, it that has guided so much of the story, is so irrelevant to where the story is going that it can be excised in two pages.

That is extraordinary to me.

I don’t think I have ever seen such a prime example of an author recognizing that a prominent plot line has outlived its usefulness. It’s like he went full-on original flavor Vader.

Obviously, ideally, the Eldians vs. The World plot would tie into the common titan problem of Paradis, and the story would be allowed to proceed on both fronts. Doing it smoothly would be a challenge, but that’s writing for you.

Just as obviously, that’s not happening.

In a perverse way, the first 80-some chapters of this series behave like one of those windup toys. We didn’t know why Eren could transform into a Titan. We didn’t know why the titans attacked. We didn’t know anything about society outside the walls. We didn’t know what was in the basement. We didn’t know how the walls came to be. We didn’t know who the real enemy was. Our heroes were isolated in their struggles to rectify all of that.

We have now had our full orientation. We do not need the play-monsters anymore. We have the answers. All that’s left is to put the toy down and see how far it can go.

This is not what I would call good storytelling, but it’s so neat. I don’t think we would get to see this story with someone who was better at timing. Most people whose work is being published wouldn’t look at the series’ most well-known plot feature and put it up as collateral for the story they’re more interested in.

That kind of abandon is not something you usually get to see with a story of quality. You don’t just... gloss over parts of the story that matter. That’s common sense.

Offering the counterargument that those silly details were never meant to matter, when those silly details were formerly thought to be the plot?

That’s daring to suggest that there are parts of the story that are more worth spending time on. If the roaming titans of Paradis are deemed inconsequential, then what’ve you got for us?

It should be something good.

It should not, for instance, be forty minutes of the main character stuck in his own head until he breaks out and a bunch of people clap for him.

While I will continue laughing at the execution, one of the main reasons I’m okay with the time skip is because I’m still down for this story. This is still about humans fighting monsters for their right to breathe free air.

The difference now is that the training wheels are off.

And very promptly thrown into the sea.

It isn’t about mindless monsters eating people. It’s about human beings whose hatred and cowardice lead to them demonizing and abusing an entire race. This isn’t faceless cruelty anymore.

The fight is the same it always has been, but it’s now an informed fight.

So all that’s really great.

...Except then I get to thinking that people in the walls could actually maybe live outside the walls because the titans mostly vanished in two pages and my head starts spinning because who does that.

Never let it be said that this is a graceful story. Just a good one.

Speaking of gracelessness, this chapter was, in fact, longer than two pages.

And Floch exists.

Jean 2.0, featuring none of the insecurity that can pretend to be tact.

Floch’s role in this chapter is painful on multiple levels. He’s the sole survivor of a suicidal charge, and he did everything right. He saves his commanding officer. Humanity’s Commander. He takes them to the people who can save his life. He performs admirably even though he calls himself a coward and cannon fodder.

He’s another broken person, but the first one we’ve seen broken in part through our protagonists’ actions.

He tells the truth as he sees it, but he has no care for the damage he inflicts with it. He might find it important that Hitch get an unvarnished view of what Marlowe’s last charge is like, but he doesn’t offer emotional support. He might hate the decision Levi, Eren, and Mikasa contribute to, and think it deserves to be known, but Armin is the one he hurts, and Armin’s the only blameless party involved.

He lectures the rest of the 104th for what goes down, but Connie, Sasha, and Jean aren’t there for most of the exchange. They show up and have no clue what’s going on. Hell, Sasha’s unconscious during the rooftop discussion, and Connie’s carrying her. Jean’s the only one free, and by the time we know he’s there, Hange’s breaking up the fight.

Floch sits back and watches Mikasa pin Levi to the rooftop with a sword to his throat before he says a word.

He can be mad at Levi and Mikasa and Levi all he wants, but lashing out at Armin and the rest of the gang isn’t a matter of principle. He’s just hurt.

We don’t know enough about Floch to know how much of what he’s saying starts from a good place, but by the end of his sequence, it’s pretty obvious that his honesty, however powerful it is to hear, has its own bite of childishness.

It’s still sad, though. When Armin says Floch is right, Floch doesn’t look happy or victorious. Being right doesn’t change the mess they’re in or make the pain any less.

But geez. He manages to make half the people he talks to look like they’re questioning their will to live. Kid could use a kick to the shin and a hug.

The story has his back on making sure the words land, though. This chapter is a nostalgia trip and a half.

“In other words, you couldn’t throw away what was important to you, right?” --to Armin

“But even a piece of fodder... should at least have the right to assess the situation!” --and to Jean.

Yeah.

“Don’t get mad when you hear this... but Jean... you’re not a strong person... so you can really understand how weak people feel. [...] I mean... most humans are weak, including me.. but if I got an order from someone who saw things like I do... no matter how tough it was, I’d do my damnedest to carry it out.” --Marco, 18

Marco never comes up in happy conversations.

My personal favorite goes to Mikasa, though. For maximum pain.

“You gave up in the end.”

Hello, I am excite.

I’m not capping the whole thing because I adore these two panels on their own, but for the sake of full context, that hand of hers was holding Eren’s shoulder the moment before Floch’s words.

Hange convinces her to stop fighting for Armin on the roof.

Logic and history say she’s going to lose him and Eren.

Mikasa has spent such a long time refusing to give up. The first time the need to truly resonates, she stands and fights anyway.

She always fights. If you don’t fight, you don’t win. That’s what her first moments with Eren teach her.

Then there’s Floch, telling her that she’s more of an adult for giving up. Giving up on her family, accepting the loss.

She’s going to lose them. There’s nothing to fight here, and one of them is only alive now in spite of her, not because she was any help. There’s a hopelessness to Eren and Armin’s situation that won’t be denied, so what, is that the answer again?

Giving up on them?

Watching both of them die?

Mikasa could really use some proper pages dealing with all of the above, but for now I’m really psyched that the little moments are happening. She literally lets go of Eren in paralyzed horror.

Can has more? Please?

Besides making pitiful puppy eyes into the abyss, though, this chapter actually does have me really jazzed for whatever’s awaiting Mikasa.

The conflict that Floch keeps hammering away at is one that’s been lurking in the background for ages. Since the very first volume, to be precise. We’ve since seen in explored at length through Levi, Erwin, and the serum bowl, but like with many things in this manga, we start with Mikasa.

“Humanity is on the brink of extinction and you’re trying to dictate your own rules?!” --Eren, 4

Mikasa’s devotion to her family has been a primary character feature since her introduction. Her development has rarely been highlighted, but constantly in the background and her moments of foreground, she wrestles with the conflict of being a loyal companion and an exquisite soldier. She’s conscious of her decisions and mistakes without letting them tear her to shreds, which is a claim very few characters can make.

When she leads the charge in Trost and neglects to be there for her comrades, she knows it. When she ignores Levi’s commands against the Female Titan, she sees the damage and carries the responsibility forward. She remembers failing to kill Reiner and Bertolt and guilts over it.

Responsibility is seldom actively neglected in this series. Otherwise I wouldn’t have such easy things to quote as an example of a character making a bad choice; if someone does something questionable, you can expect a dialogue bomb to reference it at some point.

But Mikasa learns. Her mistakes aren’t creating an ever-deeper fault of trauma for every new horrible thing to trigger. She’s taken some extraordinarily hard hits, and it’s left her fragile in places, but when she experiences a mistake, she tries her best to correct it for the future.

The easiest comparison to that is Erwin.

Quotes are fastest, so I’ll go ahead and do that with something I wrote a week ago: My view on his increase in personal goals is that his guilt for being less than what he should be turns into him overplaying his baser qualities. Instead of being a good man and leader who has a weakness to overcome, he tries to frame himself as a bad leader, freeing him up to indulge in the absolute worst of his selfishness.

I believe the phrase is go big or go home. Erwin sees his mistake of putting himself over humanity, and he overcompensates in the wrong direction.

When Mikasa’s mistakes happen, she continually progresses in a direction that offers solutions to her errors.

That might be why she ends up stuck on the sidelines more often than not. Someone who quietly observes and grows at a steady click, without having their world knocked down every other week, can be hard to portray dynamically outside of key moments.

Here’s what makes all of that the fun of the hour: Mikasa’s personal, at times obsessive, loyalty, rooted in trauma, is now clearly facing its losses against her own sense of honor and duty. As much as she loves Eren and Armin, protecting them at all costs has slowly turned to only most costs. There’s enough distance between her and her trauma that there’s room for her independent respect for the world is calling her out when she does something she shouldn’t.

Eren doesn’t have that.

Eren, the first loud voice we heard screaming about the worth of humanity, has found the persons he would give everything for, and he can’t step back. He can be ashamed of his conduct on the roof, but if the same situation were to happen again, the same desperation for his friend would still be there.

Eren’s been beaten down so many times that I think his ability to let go (already one of his weaker points, since he always fights to win) has up and left him.

He can’t lose his family.

He can’t regret that Armin’s the one alive, and he refuses to put Historia in danger.

Back when Jean first joins the Survey Corps, he voices his criticisms plainly, and makes sure everyone around him knows the stakes.

“Look, Mikasa... not everybody is like you... We’re not all volunteering to die for Eren. All of us, Eren included, should know... what our lives are going to be used for.” --Jean, 22

It isn’t about just one person. It’s about the bigger picture. It’s about fighting for the sake of humanity. It’s about humanity.

It’s supposed to be.

But Ymir will give up her life and freedom to save the girl she loves, and then two random schmucks she can’t make herself leave. The pinnacle of Historia’s arc has her placing one life she cares about over plenty of others. Erwin will forget humanity for his dreams until his closest companion corrects him--only to fall into a similar trap because he can’t face sacrificing Erwin.

Grisha gives everything to his cause, but because he doesn’t love his son, he fails.

Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie are never in sync, and they die alone.

So what’s going to end up winning?

No one life is worth more than the rest of humanity, but if you don’t fight, you can’t win. If you sacrifice your interpersonal bonds for a grander purpose, you’ll never make it, because you’ll be fighting on your own.

Right now, the healthiest balance goes to Mikasa and Hange. They love fiercely, and will protect what they value with all of their strength, but their responsibility to the rest of humanity means too much to risk being selfish. Some sacrifices have to be made. Sometimes you have to let go.

But not until the very last second.

Hange understands all of that, and is grown up enough that it all flows.

Mikasa is still wrestling with how deeply that goes against how she’s fought for her family for years.

Eren, meanwhile...

I think it’s fair to say Eren is a fucking mess?

Eren, as he starts out, is idealistic, passionate, and naive enough to believe that you can change the world by running down that road at full speed.

As Eren is right now, I think he holds the memory of that being the way things should be, but he’s so bogged down in everything that’s happened, he’s lost the original spark that keeps that flash of optimism functioning.

When he talks about the ocean, he can bring Armin back, but he can’t bring himself back. His aunt’s mangled corpse is more real to him than the dreams he had as a child.

Mikasa and Armin make it to the beach, and despite all of the pain they’ve gone through getting there, they can smile. They can squeal over the tide over their feet. They’re happy.

But for Eren, the ocean that has always been one of the solid carrots of his struggle has turned into a reminder that they’re still not free. They’re still stuck. They’re still surrounded by monsters. It never ends. Making happy dreams come true is a temporary flight of fancy that can’t save them.

Death, though. That can fix it, right? Just... kill them all.

I don’t think the bleakness of RAB’s perspective has ever been presented so quietly.

Eren has fallen to a place that dreams can’t reach, and his only answer to that sense of desolation is to turn it on their enemies.

When the choice between Armin and Erwin is presented, Eren’s strongest argument for Armin is that he can still dream. He isn’t consumed by revenge. He sees something outside of death and chaos when Eren can’t.

After another year of life, that difference has only expanded, and now Eren really can’t find anything to hope for.

And that’s essentially why there are those few paragraphs of theme up there. Becoming a slave to a cause and abandoning softer things is dangerous. There needs to be that balance that people like Hange have, otherwise you’re just going to fall apart.

Learning to let something go is valuable, but if it’s done because it hurts too much to hold it close, it isn’t growth. It’s destruction. That’s why Mikasa’s struggles, while agonizing, don’t separate her from joy the way Eren’s have.

Mikasa’s learning that there are some things you can’t fight. Eren’s found despair in thinking victory can’t exist.

And look, I’m an optimist with this series. I know that, and I know it’s probably annoying or laughable on occasion.

But that setup is so perfectly arranged to oppose the themes presented in their first meeting that I can’t help but hope they’re going to go through all of this, losing faith in beliefs that have sustained them for years, and then find them again.

They aren’t young children anymore. Idealism is hard, and their lives have only made it harder, but that’s what makes it matter so much. Their values don’t deserve to lose, and if they don’t champion them, no one will. And I’d kill to see them find their way to believing in that again after being through hell.

With that thoroughly rambled about, we turn to things I don’t have complete thoughts on, but will bring up regardless.

Starting with the fact that Marlowe’s name variances would drive me to drink if I drank.

Eren pretty fragrantly calls back to what Levi tells him in the forest when they’re first facing the Female Titan.

“I don’t know the answer. I never have. Whether you trust in your own strength... or trust in the choices made by reliable comrades. No one knows what the outcome will be. So, as much as you can... choose whatever you’ll regret the least.” --Levi, 25

“I don’t know... what the right choice is. How can anyone know the future?”

When Levi says it, it’s a call to action. Who knows what the right choice is, but you’ve got to make one. When Eren says it, it’s an attempt at comfort. A choice has been made, so let’s work with it and not fuss too much over how, yeah?

Besides, Armin is so unbelievably amazing that regrets are even more of a waste than usual. For sure.

And the last thing I can work myself up to care about is that Historia rocks, and I’m gladdened that she instructs her people to not be such lying jackasses without hesitation. Hail to the Queen and etc.

But when Eren has his more complete flashback to the incident between his family and the Reiss family (harking a return to feeling slightly bad for Grisha--whatever his mistakes, Eren, Carla, and Mikasa are his world, and that’s a worthy perspective), what I really want to know is if Historia sees it too. They’ve experienced mutual memory magic before, but that was in the cave of mysteries.

Mikasa and Armin seem to notice that something has happened, but Historia’s the one to get the large panel of her eye (I need a tag for her eyes still), and I’m dying to know if that’s because she’s the one looking at Eren’s expression head-on, or because she sees what he sees.

Because if she’s receiving flashes of his flashbacks when they’re connected, Eren’s attempts to protect her by keeping one of her potential uses a secret is possibly already long dead when they hit the beach.

Also it would make my favorite character maybe relevant for another arc.

I deserve nice things, this should happen.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 90 #Mikasa Ackerman #Eren Yeager #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr #chapter post

[sxdomy]

All numbers

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me

[destiel-iscanonshutup-blog]

Coffee Maker Review 2018

Some weeks again, a reader contacted me inquisitive about understanding if i’ve but attempted the staresso manual coffee maker, as he modified into deliberating buying it and have become inquisitive about my mind. i’d no longer tried it, so i responded to allow him realize i’d purchase it and allow him realize – alongside facet a evaluate on the weblog.

that may be a pump motion manual coffee maker, it’s not the nice one in each of its kind, there’s handpresso, handpresso wild hybrid,  wacoco minipresso & the newer nanopresso – which even works with nespresso & nespresso like minded pods – and there are quite a few extra guide pump operated espresso makers too. i don’t claim to recognize which came first, the hen or the egg, or handpresso or wacoco and so on., but certainly those varieties of guide portable espresso makers were round multiple years now. i bear in mind seeing minipresso more than one years once more and questioning, hmm, i bet that doesn’t paintings very well – i assume i used to be incorrect, definitely, however except, i’ve been wrong earlier than in order that’s no massive deal ;-).

staresso seem to be quite a piece exceptional than the opposite designs i’ve visible, they appear a great deal less “flasky” than a number of the others available in the marketplace that include a plastic flask cup kind affair. there’s a cortado glass type espresso machine cup which fits into the lowest detail, and it’s additionally provided not just as a portable coffee maker, but additionally as a cappuccino maker, with the declare that it additionally froths the milk, which i found very thrilling!

so, i purchased it – lamentably, it took almost three weeks to come back – which reminded me of why i commonly buy the entirety on amazon ;-), however it came in the long run – so without similarly ado…

staresso coffee maker evaluation. unboxing and first impressions. unboxing staresso manual espresso maker

my first thoughts on searching at the container itself, after which beginning it to retrieve the staresso, are truly correct. i’m impressed through the use of the first-rate of the field, the way it's been packed, the lack of excessive packing substances – adequate the plastic bag in all likelihood isn’t wished, they could take away that or use compostable paper or some thing, but i’ve visible a ways worse.

the unit itself comes entire, there’s very little meeting to do – and it appears and feels honestly immoderate great.

i simply like the glass, i’d likely purchase it just for this – how sad am i?? 😉 it’s a actually tremendous thick walled cortado glass type thing, and if they supplied the ones separately i’d purchase a number of them, adore it.

it’s all really self-explanatory in terms of a way to apply it, i had a glance on the manual – but i didn’t experience compelled to look at it, it’s honestly easy.

it comes with a bit cleansing brush detail, and a spare rubber gasket, all specific – the first-rate factor i used to be a bit disappointed with on first inspection changed into the interior track/tamper, which is flimsy, turned into nearly oval customary whilst getting it from the field, and doesn’t look as much as an lousy lot as a tamper.

but other than that, truely inspired, all seems appropriate, and keen to give it a go.

staresso manual coffee maker all the bits and portions how the staresso seems even as you are taking it all aside.

first try – luke warm coffee all people? first coffee from staresso guide pump coffee maker.

i’ve used guide coffee makers before, consisting of aptitude and rok, so i ought to have stated that i’d want to pre-warmness the whole lot, in any other case i’d become with coffee which isn’t warm sufficient, and additionally this will have an effect on the extraction, so cool espresso isn’t the quality.

however i forgot, and that i simply went in advance and pumped out an espresso with everything cold – and the end result turned into precisely that, luke heat espresso. crema appeared right sufficient, flavor wasn’t lousy both in reality, but it became in reality no longer particularly heat at all, now not the best.

so, i then pre-warmed the entirety, such as my new preferred glass ;-), the brew chamber, the pump, the whole thing – only for 30 seconds or so in water simply off the boil – did it over again, and this time – wow, plenty higher!

the grind became a chunk at the coarse aspect, have become a chunk under extracted, so i needed to tweak and dial in, but as soon as i did that, i was in truth impressed by way of the espresso i used with the intention to produce by means of the usage of hand with the staresso.

a few element else i puzzled about, was whether you can slap a nespresso pod in there, whether or no longer the strain will be enough to pierce the foil, it wasn’t (even though i didn’t strive lavazza, they art work a chunk otherwise so i have to have tried that) – however just out of hobby, i tried establishing multiple nespresso espresso pods and the use of the floor coffee from these within the staresso portafilter, and erm – positive – this labored perfectly, honestly inspired. so if you do get this form of,  and if you don’t have a grinder in any other case you’re in an excessive amount of of a rush to grind, you’d be adequate chucking a few nespresso pods or nespresso compatible pods for your bag – then just open the foil, tip the pod over and vicinity it in the staresso filter out, tap it – and cast off it. i discovered that  nespresso coffee pods just slightly over-crammed the clear out, so i brushed the extra off, and then tamped it with the plastic scoop tamper (that's crap, i’ll get onto that during a minute), and pumped as normal.

if you’re using two nespresso pods or compatibles in line with brew on this – then it’s not the cheapest, even though if you’re shopping for a number of the cheaper compatibles for about 25p every, 50p isn’t lousy.

frothing milk? properly – type of… cappuccino via staresso manual espresso maker. i made this with the staresso, which consist of the coffee and the frothed milk. seems adequate, but it’s luke heat, too cold for me to even trouble consuming, to be honest.

one of the claims of the advertising bumf of the staresso is that it’ll froth milk too, so it’s a portable manual cappuccino or latte maker.

properly, sure – it truly works, form of. you are taking the pump detail off, positioned this into the milk and pump to create the air, to create the froth, and it does sort of artwork.

however…

it’s sluggish, its a faff – and also you come to be with luke heat latte. i wouldn’t call it cappuccino, i couldn’t get it frothed enough for that, i’d name it latte, perhaps even cortado for the cause that the glass looks as if a cortado, relying at the espresso to milk ratio – but it’s allow down via the truth that by the point you’ve messed about frothing it, it’s quite luke heat.

in case you had a tenting range and you could froth it while it’s however being warmed, then that may match – no matter the fact that i’d actually say be very careful faffing approximately trying to froth milk at the same time as you’re heating it, as that looks like an coincidence geared up to arise!

in my opinion, if i desired to froth milk on the skip i’d genuinely shove a battery operated whisk kind milk frother in my bag, just like the nicely vintage ikea milk frothers, for multiple quid, or a snazzy model which includes the sedhoom or the ozeri deluxe – those are less complicated, there’s a good deal less faffing, they’re faster – and they’re able to thicker foam if you’re looking to make that sort of foam for a cappuccino.

the quality to sum up what’s splendid about the staresso, i assume it’s a properly constructed manual coffee maker, it feels and appears pinnacle exceptional. the nice of the coffee i think is in truth appropriate, so long as you pre-warm the whole lot. it’s pretty mild, it’s brief and easy to clean, and i certainly similar to the glass that includes it – i some distance determine upon ingesting from a tumbler than ingesting from a plastic lid-cup.

the horrible the tamper scoop is horrible. aside from the reality it’s made from flimsy plastic, it’s too small… simply it’s no longer that tough to make sure that the tamper scoop is the right size for the clear out? it’s no longer without a doubt ever so slightly too small each, it’s way too small, i had to glide it around and tamp a few times in an attempt to tamp the general ground of the p.c.. if i used to be keeping this (i’m not – i’m giving it away, greater on that quick) i would be looking for a few issue else to use.

as i cited in advance, frothing milk with the pump is a pleasing idea, however it doesn’t actually paintings, it’s too much of a faff, takes to long, and the milk cools down too much in at the same time as you’re at it, which means you come to be with lukewarm latte.

hints for the usage of the staresso portable coffee maker pre-warming. simply pour hot water into the chamber, close to it up, wait 20-30 seconds, after which pump the new water thru into the cup. go away the cup to heat up for 10-20 seconds or so, then pour it all out. yeah this gives a minute or as a way to the method, however your coffee might be higher extracted and hotter, as a give up end result.

pumping. don’t push the pump all the way down, in reality prevent barely in advance than it's far going all of the way in, the reason i say that is that during case you pump it all of the manner into the groove each time, i used to be locating that every now and then i through chance became the pump slightly and it goes into the locked close to role, and you lose momentum whilst you’re searching for to release it.

nespresso pods. as i stated in advance, i used to be actually stimulated with how nicely the staresso did with the floor coffee from nespresso pods. i just opened the foil, tipped the coffee in, after which tamped. i did use two pods despite the fact that, i don’t suppose one is probably sufficient.

in which to buy the staresso? it’s about £45 quid right here on amazon, to be had on amazon high.

i typically buy the whole thing from amazon, i have amazon prime, so i look for the blue tick to affirm that high is available for that product, so i am getting unfastened subsequent day (generally) transport. it amazes me every now and then, i’ll order a few element on a saturday and get it on sunday, having said that i’d be greater than glad to attend an afternoon or  longer if that made for a nicer & greater comfortable going for walks surroundings and plenty much less stress & stress for his or her frame of workers!

however this time, i broke from lifestyle, it grow to be on offer at sportspursuit.com for quite a piece less luxurious, however it took nearly 3 weeks to reach, and i were given no conversation from them in any respect approximately the order. it became just a case of pay for it, wait, it’ll come subsequently. a totally amazing enjoy from ordering from amazon, and without a doubt jogs my memory why i normally purchase from amazon. not that i’m pronouncing all on-line shops except amazon are gradual, of direction.

lifestyles is sort of a container of goodies, so follow me on twitter, instagram & fb and that’s all i have to mention approximately that.

[gatorfruit-moved]

hey! do all the cute questions you want to do 💙

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk, I don’t like drinking the cereal milk afterwards

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Hell yeah it makes me feel alive

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Hall passes

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Black or with raw honey for tea, sometimes a bit of sugar or creamer with coffee but I refuse to put milk in my tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Eh, I kinda like it tbh. I got the stupid crooked smile, it just looks bad in pics

6: do you keep plants?

I try but Ohio is the worst. I want to keep some succulents and cacti.

7: do you name your plants?

Occasionally, I had three succulents and one had a name, I think it was Via or something else with a v

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Mostly drawing but sometimes writing. If I’m feelin “free” I play really distorted guitar or bass and if I’m sad I can play a mean flute

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

I love singing in general man

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Equal between side and back even if I am restless, I cannot do stomach

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Nobody speaks Italian dipshit

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Uranus, no not because of anus jokes, it’s my dominant planet and it’s also just neat. I like saturn too.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Playing donkey with a few people at GSA

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Lots of animals, 100% we would have two sphinxes and a snake, art and instruments everywhere

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

I don’t need to google it lmao, I took astronomy last semester. It’s a pretty basic one but Uranus is on its side

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli boiiiiiiiiiii

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I wanna try real dark blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

I mean Nick likes to quote me, “I drown my sorrows in latin pop”

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I keep a really inconsistent journal. It’s mostly writing but like three sketches are in it.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

Brown, needs more love

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My marching band sling bag which is fucked up and has been almost everywhere with me since the summer of 2016, its been covered in mud, burnt, almost shredded with a pocket knife, almost fell into the middle of a lake

22: are you a morning person?

Not at all

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

Play video games in the morning and wander around with Mack when he’s up for it

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Mack

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

I’ve broken into kiddie pools in the middle of the night multiple times

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

My grey street style converse

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Cinnamon bby

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

He’ll say something rude then immediately say “Sorry I love you”

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

God yeah, I don’t really remember the situation but I remember the feeling

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I don’t like socks but I refuse to wear tennis or dress shoes without them cuz of my nail phobia. The colors don’t matter unless I’m going to something formal. I cannot sleep with socks unless I’m freezing my ass off

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Mack and I couldn’t sleep during my birthday party and we decided to go check the pool times and got locked out of the room and the other two were asleep so we sat in the hall for about an hour

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Macarons, I love poffertjes but they aren’t really a pastry

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I still have Purple Kitty from when I was little, the fabric on him is tough af like why is he made of that

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I like a nice pen and stationary set with a wax seal too but I don’t use them often enough to own anything

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

I’m really neutral rn but I’m listening to blackbear

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

It’s not a matter of liking it but my room is really messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Misophonia a bitch man. I’m also really aggressive about it being zo-ology not zoo-ology, venomous not poisonous, saying snakes are slimy, shit like that

39: what color do you wear the most?

Pfft black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have Opa’s dog tags and the ring I got on Kelley’s Island

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

When the Moon Was Ours

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I don’t, I’ve only really been to Starbucks

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

It wasn’t stargazing but I did comment on the stars the other night with Audra, Nick, and Mack while they talked about how fucking cursed Falls is. The last real stargazing I did was with Kennedy this summer.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

The other day, it only lasted a little bit before Carson ruined it. Dove sounds are calming.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

No, I overanalyze everything

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m really bad at puns oops. I don’t think it counts as a pun but one of my favorite jokes is people who don’t understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways that I cannot put into words.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Fucking green beans

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I mean I’ve always been afraid of chickens and had a nail phobia

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I like it but I haven’t for awhile. I honestly can’t remember it.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

Disney funkos but it isn’t that odd, I like the bat stuffed animals with the loops on the back

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Brown Eyed Girl and Crazy Little Thing Called Love for a girl that people I know irl will immediately recognize

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

Finally some good fucking food is a good one, absolute unit, Mine, sKINNY LEGEND

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I haven’t seen Heathers or Pulp Fiction but the others are Quality

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Mack

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I’ve chewed up a leaf to prove it wasn’t plastic, drank a cup of sweet and sour sauce, shoved a cucumber down my throat, a lot of weird shit

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

I like listening to people get excited over things

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

It makes me sad because of grief I’m not listening to it

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Nick is wine mom for all his tea. Mack is vodka aunt because we’re dumbasses together, we’re gonna be each others’ kids’ cool uncle.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Honestly I have no fucking clue, Caeneus is neat

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I’m not a huge fan of poetry but I can appreciate it, Poe is a main mans

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

I like to give people bad sketches. I got a leaf once.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

I don’t usually have juice but if I do it’s orange

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

Oof I’m a huge mess

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Blue I think but I can’t get to a window rn

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Micah or Uzii and Abbas

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

I like natural ones, I made a daisy and wild clover one that was almost perfect, it needed some kinda bigger flower

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I like them a lot

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Freezing and comes out of nowhere, once I wore shorts and a tank top one day and my winter coat the next

69: what are your favorite board games?

I don’t really play board games but I like donkey, a card game

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No, I usually watch my friends when they use one and laugh at them when they freak out

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

I like english breakfast and green, especially the kind they have at hibachi but it’s only available for restaurants

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

God yeah but I don’t do it.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Biting my nails, retelling stories, there’s a lot more

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

A pseudo-skater, loved more than they think, supportive like nobody else, knows just how to make me feel better, possum kid, rat parent, this ungendered thing is difficult, angry, accidentally yells shit they shouldn’t

75: tell us about your pets!

I’ve got Petey, an anxious boston that’s going grey too early, Pete aka Little Bear, a frenchie that licks too much and looks like your stereotypical black french bulldog, Petunia aka Bug, a nutcase boston with a white face and black ears with a little bit of white on the ends, and Pig, a frenchie that likes biting noses with one floppy ear and bug eyes that doesn’t look like a dog. There’s also Dabb our uromastyx. I call him a scaly puppy because he is.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Finishing a final

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

It’s not really the kind of cute this means but I was upset, leaned on Mack, said I felt like shit, and he made me let him hug me normally without saying a word. I got a lot of good hugs during the cast dinner bc when I cry I don’t stop and everyone who looks at me cries. Damian prob was the cutest cuz he’s usually more reserved emotionally and was really wild but then he was quiet and sad.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Pink, teal, and purple. I hate it.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Oof I forget what his eyes look like oops. I knew someone with eyes the color of deep tunnels in that dark wet clay earth with flecks of gold and stripes like tree bark

82: are/were you good in school?

Ehhhh, I’m not good at turning things in

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

I like a lot of blackbear’s stuff

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I have a lot of plans like the cadmium symbol, a cosmo, a calavera, a snake diagram, a hyena, a testosterone molecule

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I read some stuff on webtoon like Darbi, Lackadaisy, and Lil Char and the Gang

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

I didn’t know that was a like a thing, I thought that was just how some albums are

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Coco damnit, also Stand By Me

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

I really love pop art

89: are you close to your parents?

I guess? They’ve just got personalities I don’t really like

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Pittsburgh babey!!!!! I love the hills and the style of houses and the energy of those people that bleed black and gold and the yinzers I can understand perfectly and the mountains that are so easy to get to and the art scene and the zoo and primantis and aaaaaaaaaah I love Pittsburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Pittsburgh and L.A. like always. Going to Disneyworld for a band trip spring break.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Only a tiny bit

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Pompadour mohawk

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Oof most recent I think was my art teacher Miss Harry

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Prom

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I procrastinate so bad dude

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, aquarius sun, gryffindor

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

A couple months ago I did the gorge for the first time. I haven’t gone on a good hike for awhile and it upsetting. I love hiking so much.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Blackbird, Here Comes the Sun, For Forever, This Is Home, there’s a fair amount

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? Why?

Go back five years and tell myself to not talk to A and to just accept myself earlier, it’ll life better, to join wrestling, to ask her out, to just do shit, stop hesitating. To talk to Mack, he’ll be one of the greatest people you’ll ever meet. Give Cadmium all the love you can. Tell Opa you love him and spend more time with him.

#long post #questions