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cryptid-kratt-kid · 2 years

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS KRATT!!!!!!!

As quick celebration, I wanted to make a long post about what all my AUs are doing on this very special day!

New Wild AU

The New Wild Crew has covered their cave with all things Cryptid related and otherwise chris-like!

They got him a life size Mothman plushie, and a statue of Baphomet!

Feral Kratts AU

Feral Chris isn't that keen on parties, so the whole crew is helping him hunt down a particular group of poachers that's been getting on his nerves as of late. Martin has also decided that he will refrain from being a whore on this special day.

They got him a brand new high-tech super-mega-ultra-death AK47 (Courtesy of Feral Aviva)!

Cryptid Kratts AU

The Cryptid bros only recently found out what birthdays were, and since they don't remember the exact date that they were born, (I mean, the calander hadn't exactly been invented yet...) Chris has decided that this is the day that he will celebrate his birthday. He's found himself a nice hot spring to spend the day relaxing in.

Toodles brought him a pile of stolen treasure (Sure it was technically meant as a courting gift but I guess it counts as a Bday gift too.)

Ocean Blue AU

Martin is on his best behavior to make sure his bro's birthday is attack free! Chris keeps telling him not to worry so much, but Martin's determined.

Martin got Chris a deep sea fossil for his collection. It was in such mint condition, that Archeologists would beg Chris to hand it over if they ever saw it.

Cat Kratts AU

The bros owners are throwing the bros a little birthday bash! They were born on the same day so, Chris' Bday is Martin's Bday also. Azazel tried to get them in party hats, but they absoloutly were not having it, so instead they just invited the bros' friends over and celebrated with treats and catnip!

Their owners bought them a fancy now cat hide, but they're both ignoring it in favor of the box that it came in.

Dimension Hoppers AU

The Dimension Hoppers crew is throwing Chris a surprise party in the Tortuga! Chris thinks they forgot his birthday, but he's in for one heck of a surprise!

Martin got him a Rad Slime plushie from their visit to The Far, Far Range, since they're his favorite slime rancher slime!

Bluepin AU

While Martin was preserving his latest specimen and removing all evidence from his victim's house, he found a collector's edition National Geographic Animal Encyclopedia. Knowing that Chris' Bday party was the next day, he decided that it was the perfect gift!

Chris had a fantastic birthday party and was none the wiser to the disturbing origin of his gift.

Blue Devil AU

Since this Au's Chris is well... dead, his birthday is a painful time for his brother. Today, Martin takes the time to remember all the wonderful things about the brother that was stolen from him. It fills him with rage and determination to make the villains pay for their actions.

To avenge his poor brother that didn't get to celebrate his special day.

FNAK AU

TCC and it's employees don't celebrate the animatronics' birthdays, but the FNAK crew remembers the days they became operational and treat these days as special.

Seymour and Cyrus are whipping up a ton of his favorite dishes, along with a human meat cake!

Wildrock FNAK Spinoff AU

The Bday situation is mostly the same between FNAK crews, but with some minor differences. Wildrock Chris is celebrating by being an absolute menace to anything that moves. Why? Because he can and it's fun.

Sadie painted his claws for him, and Martin got him a new guitar.

All My Brothers AU

All of the Chris clones celebrate their Bdays today! regardless of the date that they were actually cloned. They also use today to honor and pay respects to the original. The Wild Kratts crew is throwing Bean a party! (And martin is crossing his fingers that none of the other clones interrupt)

Though Bean didn't get to activate any creature powers, he did get his very own creaturepod!

Off-Colored AU

Toodles has somehow gone even more feral out of sheer excitement. Salutations is letting him loose in a fancy rich neighborhood so he can devour greedy capitalists to his heart's content. (Sal was just looking for a way get Tod's energy out so he wouldn't destroy literally everything, but the birthday boy doesn't need to know that, does he?)

After Toodles had tuckered himself out, Sal gave him a fancy lighter he bought on Etsy. Toodles was overjoyed that his big bro was finally endorsing his arson habits.

DSID AU

This Au's Chris is spending his Bday alone. After all the emotional hell that his peers, his brother, and the ghosts were putting him through, all he asked for on his birthday was peace and quiet. He's catching up on some books he's been intending to read, he's actually quite enjoying himself.

The Ghost and Martin Kratt AU

Despite Chris being a ghost, Martin and the crew still take the time to celebrate his birthday! Just because he doesn't age anymore doesn't mean he shouldn't get to celebrate his special day! The crew left him offerings of candy and cake! Though they refrained from lighting any candles to avoid triggering his pyrophobia.

Martin got him a Lion plushie, to replace Chris' old one that got incinerated in the fire.

TCC AU

Though the original Chris technically exploded into all of the mini chrises, Martin still honors his memory by declaring his birthday, international mini Chris day!

The shelter is having an adoption event! And all of the shelter chrises are being showered with love and treats.

Two Shades AU

Both Chris and Toodles wanna celebrate their birthday, but so far all they've managed to do is get into fights over their body. Chris is struggling to keep it together throughout all of the festivities that the crew has planned!

Martin assumed that Chris likes mirrors, so he got him an emerald green one with his name engraved on it. Martin has severely misjudged Chris' relationship with reflective surfaces...

Furby AU

Chris is celebrating his birthday by wreaking terror down upon mortals and demanding blood sacrifices. Aviva is lowkey scared of these adorable little childrens' toys.

Aviva got Chris a little backpack that he can be carried in. (Mostly because she was scared that if she didn't get him a gift, she'd end up dead in a ditch somewhere).

Our Wild World AU

Chris isn't one for drinking, so instead of spending his bday at the local tavern like most adventurers, he prefers to spend the day just slowing down and appreciating the local wildlife.

And (I think) That's all of them! I wish a very happy birthday to our favorite green brother! Happy Birthday Chris!!!!!

Martin got him an emerald gilded crossbow, and a book on the land's dragons.

#wild kratts #wild kratts au #There's way too many AUs to tag here lol and Im tired #If I missed any please let me know! I tried to remember them all but #3am ADHD brain is 3am ADHD brain LMAO #Chris Kratt #kratt brothers

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thesigilsofbaphomet · 2 years

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Bringing in a household spirit

I'm starting to work at bringing in a household spirit, and figured I could sorta record/talk about the process here for anyone who's curious or wants to help me out.

Background Stuff

Probably good to start by talking about my "practice," such as it is. In case people who don't already follow my blog happen to see this, I'll start by saying I'm a quasi-theistic satanist. Although I don't particularly agree with the leadership, it's probably best to look at The Satanic Temple as a rough idea of my particular variety of Satanism (except I'm far more leftist than they purport to be). I'm not precisely a theistic satanist, because, well, I don't actually believe in the supernatural. I'm more agnostic, and open to the existence of the supernatural, and hold that the question of belief is somewhat irrelevant. Either it exists or it doesn't. I have a "story" that works for me, and I leave belief out of the whole thing.

My "story" is sort of a personal hypothesis, that there would be a separate spiritual realm, and spirits are largely just another kind of people. I don't believe there is a specific spirit who is, say, Lucifer, rather I figure that human belief, practice, etc creates a sort of energy in the spiritual realm, connected to concepts. It could be visualized as a form of spiritual plant life. The spirits want and can use this energy, and they do so by connecting themselves to the individual concept, taking on the concepts they identify with similar to putting on a mask to embody a figure.

Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel like anything metaphysical is unverifiable at current, so, hey, we'll find out when we die, or something.

I have a preference for working with the practices and imagery of ancestors, both as a way to connect with them, and because it means I can avoid accusations of appropriation if I can point out that I am descended from the culture in drawing on. Unfortunately, my primary heritage is Polish and Italian. Both Slavic and Italic people were christianized so early and so thoroughly that it is incredibly hard to find much info about their pre-christian practices (well, with the exception of Rome, but I don't really vibe with Ancient Rome, so).

The Vessel

To start with, I'm going to create a sort of body for the household spirit to inhabit. I'm planning on sculpting it from clay, and have sketched up a rough design, drawing on elements of the Kikimora, Monaciello, and Giwoitis. Technically, the go to household spirit for Slavic belief is the domovoi, but I don't really vibe with masculinity or spirits that are "just a little guy," hence why I'm drawing primarily on the Kikimora. I plan on incorporating a sort of drawer to put a votive candle in and making the eyes and horns on the statue from translucent clay, with a channel in the sculpture for light to make the eyes and horns glow. The top of the pot that holds the candle can also hold offerings.

The head is mostly drawing on the Kikimora, being a raven head, while the limbs draw on the lizard-like Giwoitis. The pose is a bit inspired by Levy's Baphomet, and I'll probably emphasize that in the sculpting.

I'm currently mulling over mixing a bit of my blood with the clay to create a connection between myself and the vessel, and I'm thinking about writing out houserules on a piece of paper and enclosing that in the sculpture.

The Shrine

Once the sculpture is made and baked, I have one of those box wall shelves from IKEA that I'd bought with the plan of using it for an altar but that... Never really happened lol. So it'll get put on the wall with the vessel inside and it'll become a little shrine for my household spirit.

#witchery #witchblr #household spirits #kikimora #magic

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vvitchofthewilds · 3 years

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My Dad bought me a Baphomet statue and I am obsessed. I can't get over how pretty it is.

I honestly can't wait to get my altar room cleared of crap so I can practice my craft easier and also have the room to do yoga 🖤

#divination witch #grimoire #baphomet #Witchcraft #witchblr #Tarot

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trashboatprince · 4 years

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I’m working on a main story for my Reverse Omens au, but for right now, I really wanted to do something with Aziraphale the Demon opening up his shop.

So, here’s a little something while I work on the main story for Sour Blessings. I had to do a bit of research for this, so you’re welcome.

Summery: The opening for A.Z. Fell’s Antiquities and More is on Friday, however, the demon Aziraphale may have to put that opening on hold, indefinitely, due to an unexpected promotion.

Not if the angel Crowley has anything to say about it!

Warning: Reverse Omens, the other demons and angels are not swapped, these two fools are in love but they won’t admit it so it’s getting the ship tag.

Aziraphale (formally Azrafel) is a half-deaf, white cat demon, Crowley (formally Samael) is a rainbow boa angel and the one who tempted Eve (There is a reason for this!).

Rewrite of the infamous Bookshop deleted scene.

On with the fic!

Can’t Have That Now, Can We?

Aziraphale, formally known as the demon Azrafel until he stole back his original name, was more excited than he had been in years.

Finally, after so many hiccups, missions, and simply being absentminded about his goal, he was opening up his shop! Well, not officially, he planned on being open to the public on Friday, but he was allowing for guests today!

So far, the only person invited is his dear angel, Crowley, who he knows will be here promptly at a quarter past eleven, the redhead was also so good with time.

Proudly, Aziraphale looked up at the sign that had just been installed this morning. A. Z. Fell’s Antiquities and More, it read with a shine of silver paint on a dark blue background. It was beautifully fitting for the man-shaped being, fitting his color aesthetics. He practically purred in delight as he stepped through the doors, happily hearing a jingle of a bell above his head.

The demon hummed to himself a song from an opera he had attended a few days ago, carefully lining up some of his collection he had noticed he bumped out of place. His shop was going to house his massive collection of antiques, a term he had adored using for the collection since it was first coined during the 1400’s in references to ancient artifacts.

He finally had a place for all his stuff, things he had hidden all over the world, bought, traded, stolen, made himself, gifts from his favorite snake, all in one place now! Sure, it took him centuries to finally settle down, but 1831 was a good enough time, right?

Well, there had been an attempt a few centuries ago, back in the 1500’s, but it had been a bookshop next to a printing shop that had printed a book he really had wanted, but a mission to China had prevented that. And had also resulted in him not paying rent on the shop and having gotten in trouble with Hell for something stupid, he couldn’t pay the rent and lost the first shop.

Anyway, he happily likes to forget that happened and has instead tried again! Same location too, second time’s the charm!

Aziraphale wasn’t finished setting up though, he still had more stuff in storage that he needed to bring in, but his angel had said he’d help up with bringing that in. He wouldn’t help with the organizing though; Crowley knew from experience that Aziraphale had a way of organizing his clutter in a way that worked for the cat. Especially when it came to certain collections, like his massive library and his collection of rare snuff boxes.

As he carefully aligned a bronze statue of a rather specifically detailed and accurate horse he got as a joke gift from Crowley, he heard the jingle of the bell above his front door. He cupped his hand over his left ear, trying to hear who it was, couldn’t be Crowley, it was too early still.

Then he smelled the scent of festering mold and swamp scum, along with other unpleasant things, and he felt his skin prickle.

With a held back sigh, Aziraphale put a fake smile on his face, turning to face his fellow demons, hoping his beard hid the fact that his mouth twitched. “Hastur, Ligur, to what do I owe the pleasure of two Dukes of Hell in my shop?”

The two demons stood by the open doors, dressed in rather shoddy clothing, meant more for the lower class than the higher, as Aziraphale himself was dressed to blend in with. However, it was good to note that this time they actually wore clothing that would help them blend in, rather than how they dressed the last time they ‘visited’ Aziraphale. He would never forget those sins against nature.

Neither of them smiled, they just stared, before Hastur stepped forward. “We’ve orders from Below for you.” He ground out, making Aziraphale raise an eyebrow.

“Orders? Strange, normally Hell just burns a message in one of my books or screams at me from an envelope nowadays, don’t usually send messengers to tell me what my next job is.

“It’s not really… orders.” Ligur spoke up, waving a hand, completely bored of this already. “’s more like you’re getting somethin’.”

Aziraphale blinked, cupping a hand over his ear again. “Come again?”

Hastur made a face. “Think of it as… bad news, but not really bad news, more like good news, but we can’t say that shit, so it’s bad news, but not that bad-”

“I… I got it.” The cat sighed, holding up a hand. “Is it about the second revolution in France?” He had sent in a wordy letter to Hell about how he had helped kickstarted that event, even though he hadn’t actually done so. He and Crowley had taken a trip to the south of France and got dreadfully wasted and somehow ended up on the Isle of Capri.

“More like a bunch of things you’ve done, Azrafel.” The chameleon demon spoke and ignored the face Aziraphale pulled, hearing his old name. It has been centuries, and no one cared that he stole back his angel name, they just ignored him, thinking he was edgy or something. “Apparently, you’ve done your job to such extremes that Hell is oddly impressed.”

This can’t be good.

“And because of this, you’re going down to Hell, promotin’ you back to Downstairs. Heard you might get a cushy job runnin’ the torture department, lucky bastard.”

Aziraphale blinked, trying to register what this meant. “But… I’m opening this antique shop on Friday. If Master Hatchard can make a go of it, then I think I can really…”

“Hm,” Hastur pondered for a moment, “actually, I think that’s an idea, whoever replaces you up here can use this place as a base of operations.”

This got a look of disgust from the cat demon. “Use my shop?” The nerve! No one was allowed to use his shop; this was for him! And maybe Crowley, because he knows that wily angel will also laze about wherever Aziraphale is staying.

Neither demon seemed to give two shits about what Aziraphale thought of this. “You’re bein’ promoted,” the frog demon shrugged, “you get to go back home.”

“Can’t imagine why anyone who wanna spend more than five minutes on this waste of space.” Ligur commented, look at a bell jar on a shelf, containing a taxidermized scene of insects dancing at a ball. The chameleon on his head licked its lips.

“Azrafel’s been on this shithole for almost six thousand years,” his companion replied, “that’s some impressive patience, I can’t stand doin’ tasks up here that take longer than a day. Just plant bad ideas in a human’s head and let ‘em do all the work. Still, gotta give kudos where kudos is due…”

He dug into the pocket of his grubby coat, pulling out a box, covered in stains that Aziraphale really didn’t want to know the origins of. “Apparently, this is for all your bad work.” He said in a tone that clearly didn’t hide his jealousy and bitterness.

Hastur opened the box and Aziraphale stared at a rather lovely, shiny medal. He had seen this kind before, proudly worn by members of the Dark Council.

When they said he was being promoted… oh, oh bugger, this was a Promotion.

“I don’t want it.” Aziraphale spoke without much thought. He glanced up and nearly screamed, because right behind Hastur and Ligur, was a redheaded angel, giving a cheery wave.

The grandfather clock off to the left happily showed that it was exactly a quarter past eleven in the morning. It was the worst possible time for Crowley to show up.

With a skip in his snake-skinned step, Crowley turned a corner down a street in Soho, a box of the finest chocolates under his arm. He had dolled himself up for today, putting on his finest dark gray suit, his pink shirt clear and ironed, and a new hat sat happily on his head, decorated with a gold-plated apple blossom.

It was over-the-top, but the snake-eyed angel was known for being flashy and showboat-y with his appearance.

He spotted the shop at the corner and picked up the pace, mentally counting down the seconds. He loved being exactly on time, but he also loved putting Aziraphale on edge when he was a few minutes late.

Crowley got right up the steps at exactly 11:15, noticing that not only were the doors opened, but two figures were standing in the doorway, with Aziraphale stared past them. And right at Crowley, with a look the screamed ‘oh bugger’.

The demon licked his lips, stammering as he tried to speak to the two strangers, who Crowley hadn’t quite realized were demons. “B-But only I can properly thwart the good deeds of the angel Cr-Samael!”

Crowley stopped smiling, tilting his head, eyebrow raising over his dark shades. He held up the package, smiling, and mouthed ‘chocolates’ at his best friend.

“I don’t doubt that,” the blond-haired demon spoke, “whoever replaces you will be as bad an enemy to Samael as you are. Baphomet, maybe.”

The angel looked horrified and disgusted. He looked towards Aziraphale and mouthed ‘Baphomet?! Baphomet’s a wanker!’ The gray-haired demon shifted on his feet, trying to ignore Crowley to not draw attention to him.

“Samael’s been here just as long as I have, and he’s wily! And cunning, and brilliant, and oh…” Aziraphale was a bit flushed in the face and Crowley perked up, smiling brightly.

“It almost sounds like you like him.” Hastur spoke in a tone that was clearly not pleased with this.

“I loathe him!” Aziraphale shouted, though his face still burned red. “And, despite myself, I respect a worthy opponent! Which he isn’t because he’s an angel, and I cannot respect a demon. Or like one!” He tacked on quickly.

Hastur actually smirked, crossing his arms. “That’s the attitude that Hell likes to hear. I can see why they’re bringin’ you back.” He stepped forward, pinning the medal to Aziraphale’s dress jacket, the shorter man holding his breath at the bad smell coming off of Hastur. A quick glance over the other’s shoulder let Aziraphale know that Crowley was out of sight, hopefully he knew to stay away until these two were gone.

“So…” Aziraphale started, “we’re going straight back, now? Before the grand opening?”

“Ehh… soon.” Hastur waved a hand. “Got a job to do, then we’ll be back for you.”

The job was a simple corruption on, convince a human in charge of a respectable pub to take in bribes, sell illegal content under the counter, and convert his pub into a drug den in later years, that should do the trick.

And to help with that, they decide to plant things in the backroom of the pub for the owner to find, miracled with a temptation to put the pieces together. Ligur stood outside the backroom’s door while Hastur moved to remove the contents of his pockets in the room.

He pauses, however, hearing voices outside of an open window.

“Are you certain that we are unobserved,” it was the voice of the angel Samael, “of glorious being of God’s divine will?”

There was a strange, echoing voice that followed right after, layered as if multiple voices spoke at once. “No one is listening, oh angel Samael, the Lefthand of God.”

Blinking, Hastur steps onto a crate under the window and, using his true eyes, peeks out the window, only the top of the head of his frog looking into the alley behind the pub. He could see Crowley, standing before a cloaked figure in white, the latter having their back turned to the window. He slipped down a bit to not be seen, but still remained close to hear.

“Curses.” The angel hissed. “If only I could understand why my blessed plans are always so brilliantly thwarted! It’s as if the forces of Hell have a champion here on Earth who contaminates my blessings! Who overlaps their own dark influences on my own good ones! Who thwarts me… thwartingly…”

Unbeknownst to the demon on the other side of the wall, the cloaked figure that Crowley was speaking to was actually just a tailor’s dummy from the tailor shop just next door. Crowley was practically tickle-me-pink with delight of how much fun it was doing this. He absolutely loved when he got to flex his acting skills.

He continued the act, putting on the heavenly voice once more. “Why, Mister Crowley, you must not be downcast. I hear news that will bring joy to you and all the powers of Heaven! They do say as how the demon Azrafel, your nemesis, is being sent back to Hell!”

Crowley knew he was acting slightly to broadly, but it was the style of the time, so it was necessary.

“Can this be true?” He continued in his normal voice. “I was going to throw myself into a pit of Hell Fire in my despair at once more being beaten by the demon Azrafel! But such excellent news! Only Azrafel knows my ways well enough to…”

“Thwart them?”

“Exactly. Now, let us retire to church, and pray to the success of good on this Earth, thanks to Hell’s foolishness!”

Hastur heard the other walking off before he moved out of the room, well, he might have to have a conversation with Aziraphale it seems.

“So, I’m… not going anywhere?” Aziraphale asked, mismatched eyes staring at the two other demons, the pupils growing with possible hope.

“Change of plans.” Hastur grumbled. “We need you here, in this shop, battling good.”

Ligur slapped the Aziraphale on the back a few times, nearly knocking him over. “Carry on battlin’ that pain in the ass angel. I’m sure Hell’ll understand that you’re needed here more than down there.”

“Keep the metal.” Hastur poked at it against Aziraphale’s chest, making him wince at the pressure of the jab.

“But I don’t understand…” The cat demon blinked, suddenly realizing he was all alone in the shop now, the scent of sulfur starting to mellow out. With a snap of his fingers, the shop suddenly smelled of flowers, thanks to the lovely potted plant that just showed up next to him.

With a heavy sigh, he shook his head, moving around a shelf to try and return to his previous task of worryingly set up his collection.

“Well, that was fun.”

Aziraphale yelped, jumping a foot in the air as his hair and beard puffed up from the shock. He turned, finding a certain angel, basking happily in a chair that had been swiped from the King of Spain in the late 1300’s. “Crowley… w-what are you doing here?” He asked, approaching the redhead, who just smiled, holding up the box of chocolates from behind.

Aziraphale chirped in joy, taking the box. “Oh, yes, thank you, darling!”

“’s nothin’, kitty cat. I think you deserve them now than you did before those two idiots showed up.”

“How… much of that did you see?”

Crowley shrugged before getting out of the chair, stretching. “Well, I arrived to see that you were stuck dealin’ with two idiots, and that you needed help. So, I may or may not have helped you out of a bit of trouble, again. Nice medal, the Dark Council kind? Wow, that’s a hell of a promotion, kitty cat.”

Aziraphale frowned and removed the metal from his jacket, tossing it towards Crowley, who caught it with ease. “I’ve done so well at my job that I was promoted to join them! I mean, it’s not the worst promotion I could get, in fact, any demon would give up their whole… well… everything to be part of that group! But I must admit, it would be too much, I’d be allowed to do whatever, but I wouldn’t be able to work and stay on Earth.”

“Sounds like a shit job to take, Aziraphale.” Crowley commented, looking over the metal before dropping it into a clay pot. “But hey, you get to stay here!”

“For some reason…” Cat eyes turned, staring directly at snake ones, hidden behind dark lenses. “What did you do?”

Crowley grinned brightly. “Oh, just pulled off some theatrics.” He wiggled his fingers and Aziraphale groaned. “I told you I was good at this! I should join a theater, get my name out there! I’ll even do those boring, sad Shakespearean plays you like so much!”

“Uhg.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes before looking at Crowley, smiling. “Still, thank you for helping me today, darling. Now, how about the two of us enjoy this delectable box of goodies you got me, I have a lovely red that we can drink alongside them in the back, found it while bringing things in the other day.”

“Sounds delightful, kitty cat.”

END

Well, this was a lot of fun to write!

In case you wanna know what they look like, Aziraphale looks like Martin from Prodigal Son (except well dressed in a light gray and dark blue Regency outfit), and Crowley looks like David’s portrayal of Richard II (in a dark gray and pink Regency outfit).

Hastur and Ligur look like characters from Oliver Twist haha.

In case anyone was wondering why Aziraphale owns an antique shop, it was because as much as I love the bookshop still being part of a Reverse Omens au, I also really loved the idea of going off the little fact that book Aziraphale also collects old snuff boxes and it went from there that he just collects all sorts of things.

Oh, and Hastur left Aziraphale on Earth cause if he's really the only one who can 'stop' the Heavenly might of Samael, the angel with the title of Destroyer, well... yeah, might as well leave him to deal with that mess.

Thanks for reading! As always, drabbles are open!

#good omens #reverse omens #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #hastur #ligur #john's drabbles

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jakattax · 4 years

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Okay but that baphomet statue is beautiful 😍

Hey thanks! I bought it in my edgy years when I was very Goetia and Verum heavy. My housemates thought I was a satanist and were quite freaked out by it.

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nei-ning · 5 years

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I bought myself lovely Baphomet statue! I’ve been wanting it for few years now and now I got it! :D It’s 25cm high and very detailed! This photo won’t do much justice to it, but it’s the best what I got.

Then I got super PRETTY gift from mom! Market worker had been super happy and excited when mom had given her permission to wrap the book :D That book is a history book about the area where I was born (about murderers, witches, weird happenings etc.). I have eyed that book many times when visiting near by market which is the only place what sells these books. I’m so happy mom got it for me! <3

#Baphomet #statue #book #history book #Nilsiä #neis photos #birthday gifts #13.9.2019 #my birthday

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esotericimagesforredpilledpeople · 6 years

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Mon 13 Jul 92 3:30p By: Oz Tech To: All Re: To summon Ye Daemon Crowley };^) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @INTL 1:120/418 31:1000/1 A copy of this rite was passed to me a couple of years ago by a friend. Apologies to the original author, who is not known to me. [Kiddies, do not try this at home.] -- O.D. PUBLICATION, CLASS A How To Summon Ye Daemon Aleister Crowley To Visible Appearance (A Rite For Father's Day) From an ancient Graeco-Egyptian manuscript in the Egyptian National Museum -Ye Banishing- Banish by showing a picture of Aleister Crowley to the eight directions, saying "Get Off My Cloud" at each spacemark, and each time give the Middle Finger Salute to the direction. Or ye may wear a Crowley Mask during the banishing. This will scare away any non-Thelemic entities and entice Crowley to the Circle. -Ye Place Of Working- In the middle of the circle should be a Crucifix, lots of beer (Crowley hated beer) and a copy of an A.E. Waite book (Crowley liked Waite about as much as beer). This wll keep Crowley from invading the circle in his true form. -Ye Preliminary Insultation- The celebrants sit in the circle and consume beer, marijuana and other intoxicants, all the while profaning the demon Crowley, reviling him at every turn. Every couple of minutes a different celebrant should break into the conversation and say, "I wish Crowley was here to hear you say that." Getting stoned inside the circle where he can't reach you and insulting his Name will draw Crowley to the circle, itching to manifest and rip you into confetti. -Ye First Insultation- The appointed Priest reads each sentence aloud, and the Celebrants repeat it after him. "I invocate and conjure thee, o ye blasphemous toad Aleister Crowley! Long have ye taunted us from beyond the grave, meddling with the brains of acid messiahs and politicians, smirking at us from behind your silly Egyptian hat! I command you to appear before us now, if you're the great magician they say you are! Being armed with the power of beer and cigarettes I command it!!!" (pause for a minute) "O worm-eaten necromancer, hear me. A sadistic game you have played with your disciples long enough. You lure the curious down halls of Aleister Crowley statues and Crowley altars at every turn, only to lead the travellers to a mirror at the end of the path, and they realize their god was themselves all the time. BUT BY THAT TIME THEY'VE BOUGHT ALL YOUR BOOKS. Thou art a slick advertiser selling bottled air." "I invoke you by your names: To Mega Therion! Perdurabo! Baphomet! The Beast 666! Fo-Hi! Count Alexander Svareff! Chiao Khan! Alys! etc. Come thou forthwith, without delay, from any and all parts of the world thou mayest be, and make rational answers unto all things that we shall demand of thee. for thou art conjured up by the name of the living and true god Xerox!" -Ye Second Insultation- If the obstinate Beast refuses to show himself, repeat ye second insultation: "By the power of the slave god Jehovah, I command you to appear!" "By twenty generations of Plymouth Brethren, I constrain you to appear!" "By Leah Hirsig's bedpan, I lure you to appear!" "With seven vestal virgins, I entice you to appear!" "With seven lines of fine Peruvian cocaine, I tempt you to appear!" "With seven young, gay, Arabian boys I seduce you to appear!" "By a gram of China white heroin, I dare you to appear!" "Just to see if I have all that shit, I DEFY YOU TO APPEAR!" -Ye Grand Insultation- Another joint is passed around while the Celebrants wait for a sign of Crowley's appearance. His manifestation can take many forms, and each adept should comment on anything he/she should hear or see that might be Crowley, from insects to rocks to vegetation. While the joint is smoked, each of these possible signs is discussed and either discarded or seized and put in the middle of the circle. These objects touched by Crowley are HOO-HAHs and should be kept by the celebrants as Power Object s. If Crowley still does not appear in physical form, a final and most powerful CRITICIZATION and INSULTATION is uttered by the Priest: "Come on, man, this is embarassing. We do the ritual and you promise it will work and you don't show up. That's just like you, you lime-sucking baldpate of an English windbag! We come out here, dress in fine apparel and take strange drugs and all that shit, and all we get out of it is sitting here in fine apparel stoned on strange drugs." "Come on, you lecherous old fart! You can tantalize us with a little visible appearance, can't you? Just show us a leg and part of a helmet like Buer showed you, huh? That is, if you got the balls. COME ON, CROWLEY, SHOW US THAT BEAST OF A WANGER YOU BRAG ABOUT..." As soon as this is said, Crowley will manifest on the outside of the Circle, if not in bodily form then as a breeze or something more tenuous, but everything that moves outside the circle has been touched by him. Each celebrant who hasn't found a Crowley Hoo-Hah yet should go out of the Circle and find one. They are piled in the middle of the Circle. These Crowley Hoo-Hahs can be used for any and all types of Thelemic Magick. They're almost as good as Crowley Knucklebones and Crowley Toes. -Ye Banishing- A reverse banishing should be performed. Face the inside of the circle, point Crowley's picture or mask to the center of the circle, and at each of the eight points, say "Under my thumb" while you grind your thumb into your outstretched palm. -Ye Warning- The O.D. takes no responsibility for the consequences of performing this rite. Crowley's manifestation is sometimes violent: once a whole group of adepts was found buggered to death. Be forewarned. Collegium ad Inner Sanctum Rushville, Indiana This year Kung Fus Shun, Grand OHOOD --- Tabby 2.2 * Origin: ALamut - Thee Mountain 415.431.7541 (1:125/51) SEEN-BY: 103/175 120/418 125/51 159/700 202/311 266/72 278/666 279/999 1000/1 SEEN-BY: 2000/1 9400/0

#crowley #oto #web #joke

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overfedvenison · 6 years

Text

More SMT

Upon meeting Chihiro and hearing about the reason of the strong, I said I understood. But in a sense of... Sort of an "I know where you're coming from" way. As I said before, her ideal society seems to be a sort of... Ayn Rand-like anarchy where a few people, who are strong, independant, and 'chosen,' thrive and survive. Unnecessary things are thus discarded.

Incidentally, she elects to gain power on her own, as a human for a while... I don't recall it ever being revealed how she does this, because running around as a lone human fighting demons for power is pretty... Well, actually, I guess that's just grinding. But still!

Then I explored the Mantra building and talked to Gozu-Tennoh, the Mantra's former leader, who dies as Nihilo drains all his energy. He falls apart, yelling about how he won't let Nihilo create a world of stillness, and says that someday someone will desire strength and he will return.

Leaving the chamber, we meet Thor again. Thor was a higher-up in the mantra who we fought in a trial previously... He notes that the mantra lost because they had no higher goals. They had no vision for the future, and just enforced a reign of terror. Put another way, they didn't want to create anything or move forward with their chaotic ideals, they just wanted to tear down the established order.

The game seems to conclude that mindless Chaos, as a concept, is not viable.. But, chaotic virtues like Strength and Individuality may be. Thor leaves on a quest to realize a world where the strong thrive, and is sure to meet Chiro at some point.

With any strong leadership gone, the Mantra's allies all desert to the winds and leave the city mostly abandoned.

...Also, fusions - Fused two randos, Bihorn and Chatterskull, into a level 35 Suratahiko. He inherited bright might, dekaja, and Anti-Nerve (to counter his weakness.) - I trained up Preta, one of the weakest demons who joined me randomly, to level 8. Like Will o Wisp, he has a great moveset despite being pathetic... Including getting Deathouch, Venom Claw, and Fog Breath. Now the he's registered, I dismissed him because I couldn't fuse him into anything good immediately... But he's ready to summon later - With excess gems, I bought multiple Elementals and fused them to Miitamas, then fused the Miitamas into my Baphomet. His luck went from 12 to 20, and Magic from 20 to 32 (...Out of 40)

After that, I elected to fight the Hell Biker who was patrolling a highway I needed to pass... He was rough. His combination of abilities was hard to counter, because he fought fiercely with good type coverage.

I put on my Force-nullifying magatama to avoid his all-party Force attack, and fielded Arahabaki to avoid his physical attacks... But this makes me vulnerable to his fire attacks starting at phase 2. He regularly dispells buffs and debuffs, as well.

...I ended up using Arahabaki and my new demon, Suratahiko. They both have Bright Might, so by fighting him on a full moon my team could always crit and get extra actions. Then I could use my Kikuri-Hime and Demi-Fiend to Heal, and debuff with War Cry and Taunt.

After I won, I taught Arahabaki Mabufula (medium ice on all enemies) in place of Sukunda. One-stage status effects are starting to fall off of their utility, see. Then, with an extra Candelabrum in hand, I descended deeper into the Labyrinth of Alama.

While the first kapla was quite welcoming, this one throws you to the dogs. You have to jump down a pit with no sign of return and wander the mazelike halls for escape... The route out is obvious once you find it, but the initial feel is quite questionable. The walls and floors also have a rotten feel, unlike the pristine marble of the first Kapla. Thankfully, I have my trusty Picasa, who can keep me invisible and allow me to avoid most enemies. Still... This place feel oppressive and terrifying

The demons and souls here are curious. Many souls are part of a Cult of Gaia, who seek to live in harmony with demons, and absorbed all forms of doctrine to discover truth from chaos. Among this demon cult was Hikawa. The cult were betrayed by him, who sought to remake the world in his own ideal state. Further, the Order of Messiah, and God, "grew jealous" of the groups' goals and thus shun and oppress the demon cult.

The souls that support the Order of Messiah, and a heavenly voice above I met before, urge you to leave and pursue your fate in the vortex world as God intended. They were told by God to try and stop Hikawa, the man who ended the world at the game's start, but Hikawa managed to kill them all by summoning demons, an ability he demonstrated at the start of the game when he summoned a Baphomet on us as we had to be saved by our teacher. It's all quite interesting

...Also there is a giant cursed hallway full of level 70+ creatures (I'm level 36) you can go through. My Repel spell didn't work here because the enemies were too strong. My strategy here was thus to use Lillim and High Pixie, who have decent agility, and spam Trafuri when I got into a battle. At the end of the corridor you can find a djinn that gives you 250000 macca for going that far... At this point in the game, I had 30000. So this was an upgrade.

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