#I appreciate that they're going through an epistle and not lecturing us on How To Be Good Wives and Mothers

[isfjmel-phleg]

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*it cut off my last tags which were: I don't know what I can do about this but in the meantime it's a struggle

#random personal stuff #back on my soapbox feel free to ignore #okay so I have been struggling a bit in the Sunday school class that I am being taken to #which is not surprising because I have been struggling socially in this church for the past year #it's a women's class taught by the pastor's wife but not all the women in the church are in it #most of them are middle-aged/elderly #what we're learning is perfectly fine #I appreciate that they're going through an epistle and not lecturing us on How To Be Good Wives and Mothers #but the other women will chime in with their thoughts in between discussions of doctrine #and it will be things like empty little slogans #(such as 'Choose joy!' or 'GodisgoodallthetimeandallthetimeGodisgood') #(not that there isn't any truth in those but they're used tritely) #or What The Lord Did For Me (or: My Life Is Perfectly Peachy) #or things that suggest their faith is all about never being upset by anything ever because you Have Peace #and I kind of wonder if this is a generational thing #because sometimes I'll call my mom with something that's troubling me #and she'll tell me things to the effect of 'just don't feel that way' #or 'ask the Lord to take it away' #which is kindly meant but ultimately ineffective in my experience #but anyway I'm sure these women mean what they say yet at the same time it just...feels insincere to me #as if as Christians we're just supposed to paste smiles on our faces and never have negative feelings #I'm not saying we should all come to class and dispense our personal dramas #but it feels like we're showing up and performing Niceness #and not allowing room for anything that isn't Easy Answers Positivity #and I sit there feeling like there's a huge invisible brick wall around me #and I'm sure that's a me problem #but...I don't know what I'm trying to articulate here sorry #I guess I don't know how to interact with these people because nothing seems real #and we can progress no further than the smallest of small talk because heaven forbid we let our real honest selves slosh over in public #and it's draining!