#I accidentally saved this as a draft instead of posting 🫣

[louisinart]

Okay let's talk about Jim's gender.

Jims gender in s1 is something else about their character that didn't quite make sense to me until I was rewatching more recently, having already seen season two.

I remember feeling a bit disoriented back in 2022 because on one hand I had queer friends glowing at the upfront representation of being nonbinary and then, on the other hand, my parents genuinely did not understand Jim was queer at all. Of course, some of that can be chalked up to my parents as people, but it did itch at some deep feeling for me. While I understand that ofmd is technically historical fiction (silly jenkinisms aside), and therefore can't have a character break into an educational monologue about what it means to be nonbinary (a modern day word to describe a modern day understanding of gender), jims transness felt almost discreet to me. There was a fuzziness to it that didn't sit comfortably in me, even if I didn't hold it against the writers or the character.

Then came season 2 and with it a much more actualized Jim. And, for that matter, a Jim whose gender feels (at least to me) quite different. There's less fuzziness, and more play. Some of this is that they've been styled to be more aligned with modern modes of queerness, for sure, but I think it has meaning beyond that. Where their clothes were once loose and beige, Jim has incorporated color and different fits. They have that delightful party outfit that just sings of gender euphoria to me.

So, after all that, I went back to watch episode 4 of season 1 and I hear this:

"So this whole time you were a woman?"

"Yeah, I guess... I dunno"

And honestly? It all falls into place. Of course Jim's gender seemed fuzzy to me in season one, they were in ACTIVE GENDER CRISIS.

Like, if we look at jims gender timeline here's where we're at: Jim is living, unquestioned, as a woman. As they have for their whole life. Then, one day, they do a bit of murder and to help them go on the run they wear a disguise and start living as a man. That works pretty well, actually! Great! Everyone is treating them well, and they're pretty damn respected too. Until it comes out that they're not a man, actually. And then everyone is talking to them like a woman and it feels bad now in a way it didn't before -- or at least they think it didn't? Maybe it was always bad and they just didn't realize? But also they definitely aren't a man, they know that for sure. So fuck it, they're just Jim. Everyone can deal with that, and it feels right enough, and it's fine.

And that's how they end season 1, more or less, because they're too fucking busy getting shit done to worry about their gender right now thank you very much.

#This feels kind of unfinished but also I don't have anything else to say #Ofmd #Ofmd s2 #Jim Jimenez #Once I'm on my laptop I'll hyperlink my other Jim post so they can be a family #I accidentally saved this as a draft instead of posting 🫣

[halfmoth-halfman]

tumblr did not eat my ask thank you for replying to it! 🫣 tumblr has been eating my asks to other creators so i had to ask sorry mother!!!

i could ramble for ages about the representations of PTSD in other media. and i could ramble about your representation of it as well (IN A GOOD WAY!!!) for hours. if there was a sport to ramble about it??? i’d win gold

i’m not a psych student at university but i do a lot of research into mental health and trauma, partly because it’s that part of education i’m hoping to go into but because i think it’s so important that we get a better understanding, representation and perspective on it and also partly because i’ve been through the works with my own mental health and want to make it better for others.

Because of this I read a lot about representations of different things and all my praise for YOUR own rep of Canary’s trauma and ptsd comes from two places;; sentimental, as in, i see myself in canary. in her mannerisms post makarov torture, in her attitude, in her thoughts, in pretty much all of her ptsd i see so much of her in me when i was at the height of my own ptsd symptoms. where everything came to the surface because i couldn’t cope. but the other part of it comes from a factual point of view??? i read so much about different ways people present ptsd and not many people get it accurately as you have. maybe that’s because you’ve dealt with your own symptoms and seen ptsd like you said!! but it is truly really really breathtaking to see it so accurately.

and you are right about finding comfort in canary as she’s going through this!! because i do too 🥹 it’s healing. very healing.

my partner, he saw the aftermath of my peak of ptsd and he acted sort of how the 141 acted (without the guilt aksnsksm) and it helped ten times over. to see it presented in such a resonated way it’s so lovely mother mothie and i hope you know how emotional and amazing it is to see 🩷💐

NOW THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WAS A RAMBLE

I TOLD YOU I COULD WIN GOLD

have a good weekend mother!!! cannot wait to read the finale!! i WILL be crying!! 💐

– 🪼

tumblr may not have eaten your ask, but i def accidentally saved the reply to my drafts instead of posting it my bad 😭

i'd be happy to award you a gold medal in rambling about PTSD rep, it's honestly something i'm very interested in. and i think that's actually a really cool field of study to choose and to research and i think that's a very admirable goal of wanting a better understanding of mental health and trauma!!

tbh her trauma was always something that worried because i know trauma responses can be so different from person to person and she's supposed to be a reader character. a lot of it was based off of my own feelings/experiences so i was surprised (but glad) to see people were able to relate to her and that she didn't feel too flip-floppy if that makes sense??

the one thing i knew going in was that i wanted canary to absolutely have a happy ending no matter what. she was going to go through some shit, but she was going to heal from it and she was going to live her best life!! and it was very healing for me to be able to write that, to have a character that gets the help they need and works on healing with people who support them and i'm happy people were able to find that same sense with her!!

i feel like a lot of stories in media can end up brushing over the healing part of trauma, and in like movies esp (which i get can be because of time constraints) it can end up feeling like one kiss between the main couple or just one conversation is enough to get over so much trauma, and i wanted to make sure we at least saw canary go through her process and that her healing felt more real for me. like everything isn't instantly fixed and sometimes it's a struggle, but she gets there, y'know?

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR RAMBLE SO MUCH, YOU'RE WELCOME TO IT ANYTIME!!!!!!!!

#anon #🪼 #moth answers #answered #tw: trauma #tw: mental health #cod ask #private