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#GENUINELY I'M DOING GOOD RN. DEFINITELY. /gen
noxtivagus · 2 years
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4:44 am late night thoughts under cut bcs i want to talk so much but tags reached way above cap c:
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#🤍#🌙.thoughts#GENUINELY I'M DOING GOOD RN. DEFINITELY. /gen#i just have a lot of thoughts. i find myself rambling a lot every time i start writing in tags oh dear#these r very intimate thoughts of mine at this very late hour#i don't mind though. here online. maybe to whoever may read it they could see some part of themselves in it#i've always loved the ways n possibilities of how we may influence each other in this world#one reason why i write. & why i share. is to make my own opportunity of that possibility w others#sometimes actually w my attunement for these deeper intricacies in life i wonder if i'm even. idk normally fun to be around#but i've had ppl say i'm funny. i've made people laugh n smile. maybe that's proof enough for me that my existence#was loved in those moments. even now maybe for just. being who i am. maybe it really is true.#i find it hard to believe i don't think such beauty is meant for me.#but i think. ultimately. i do deserve the same things that. i think others deserve. i deserve it too.#yeah often i feel like i don't belong in this world but this is enough to keep me going. me. & you.#everything in my worlds. in this universe. & everyone in my life. yeah. life goes by far too fast for hesitation and regrets.#i think it's so beautiful how in a way. you n i. we're so similar yet so different. i wnt to learn sm more abt everyone/everything around m#i think i wna make a sideblog for stuff like this. i realize at heart i'm genuinely a person fond of sharing their thoughts n emotions#i've rambled to myself a lot before in threads in discord servers w friends. in my own discord server. & in tumblr tags#i'm not used to people interacting to it. or being necessarily listened to. or knowing that i am read and seen but i don't really need that#i live like this for me. first and foremost. this is one part of my own inner world#oh god usually i definitely don't talk this much though but it's really really late at night ( early morning )#i'll try not to delete this when i wake up bcs even if i get shy or embarrassed then that'll change nothing deep down#n it's not like it'll directly impact my life yeah? i should have nothing to fear#that ffxiv friend i spent time with earlier today said they'll challenge their shyness#motivated me more to do the same. it's hard n it gets uncomfortable at times n i will experience drawbacks but#i will work hard to challenge myself & become a better person. to forge ahead as i always have.#this is part of who i've always been & part of who i'm growing to be.#why should i hide? in hindsight i will definitely learn to manage it better bcs i should keep my life more private to be safe but#rn tonight i don't think i'll worry. not now. THAT SAID THOUGH i will actually sleep vvv soon fr now c:#oh my god last thought though but i'm rlly rlly curious of others too.... but that's enough thinking for tonight. i will sleep Soon ><
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sk3tch404 · 2 years
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.. Yeah
I didn't even know naib is south Asian🥲
Oh I know them.
Yeah Naib is from Napal, and I do agree that he should be darker. Though, trust me, there are a lot of pale asians, including south east asians. I don't think there should be been a 'white washing problem' with your post.
Bro how can you white wash a character when they're already that skintone? 💀 it's not like you went out of your way to make him even paler because you think paler skin is better or smth.
It's pretty common knowledge that Naib is a pale character despite being from Nepal (I hate Netease for this every single day of my life) but I don't think that person should have came at you like that? Especially because skin color does not equal race/ethnicity (not saying that people can claim to be a race/ethnicity when they're really not)
Yes there are varying degrees of skin color people give Naib, and there is no denying that the character design team fucked up. Though I can't speak for Southern Asian people, I can tell you that some of my fellow brother and sisters are fucking GHOSTS (Not european looking because um yeah...) My sister of course has melanin, but she is more pale than most.
I was real PALE in quarantine. I was born very toned because I have most of my father's body genes. I did still have tan and yellow undertones, but I changed a considerable amount.
Especially when I moved and winter rolled around, I started to look even more different. Then the warmer south temperatures came around and I was tanned again. (Though not too much because I did a lot of physical labor inside) After I quit that, I started to do online school and went back to being paler.
This is my hand rn (I tried to keep it in the shadows so the white light wouldn't interfere much)
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Don't say anything abt my nails, I HAVE MAD ANXIETY.
I was way tanner than this. Let me tell you, when I was younger, I always said I was the tannest kid out of all of my family members after leaving the beach. Nowadays I'm more of a in between looking type of gal.
You're very obviously not a native English speaker (/gen /nm) and I'm sure where you live, colorism is incredibly rampant. I understand that you may be uneducated and dissimive of these sort of things because you grew up around these kind of ideals.
I can totally help you understand and educate you on colorism and the issues of IDV. There's always room to grow and be better, especially with these types of things.
I may not know you personally, but I know you're not the type of person to purposefully act with bad intent. I trust that you are a good person and genuinely want to learn about the difficulties of representation in media to better yourself.
You also have no issue with drawing my skin tone, soooooo I don't see why you would try to 'white wash him' when you're alright the one I had at the time.
I personally prefer when people do give Naib more realistic representation, but I don't really mind it when people draw him pale? Idk I guess I'm just used to seeing him pale. From now on, it would definitely be nice and more realistic if you started drawing Naib with tanner skin due to his lore and cultural background. (Not saying that there ZERO PALE NAPALI PEOPLE)
Eh I don't really rock with that person anymore anyways. No shade, just saying we ain't buddy buddy.
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d34thbr34th · 1 month
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Hii just a genuine question - I saw a post of yours that was from a while ago about predatory ships (esp those w Nico) and i just wanted to ask, is there any problem with Jasico? I HEAVILY agree with ships like percico and nipollo (have been talking abt how gross Percico is for ages only for ppl to think i'm just some angry percabeth shipper or something :/)
However I didn't think anything was wrong with Jasico though? Is it the age gap bc as far as I know i thought there was no weird age gap between them, could you explain more if possible? /gen
hello
to be honest i dont care about my old posts and i dont really engage in fandom discourse anymore, but my main issue with percico and nipollo was the age gap. personally i jus dont like jasico lol
i think i made a post explaining why once but i cant find it rn, but in summary i basically dont like that people interpret jasicos dynamic as romantic, because in my eyes it was a big moment for nico to finally have a friend who a) saw him b) cared about him. yes you can argue that thats a good setup for a relationship but personally i never interpreted their interactions as anything but platonic, also in my perspective of both percico and jasico there is a bit of an off balance when it comes to power, because both of these people nico looked up to (at some point) and in my eyes thats not a great setup to a relationship as opposed to how hes the more powerful one in balance in his relationship with will, i feel like thats a big thing i like about solangelo, that will solace is just normal, hes stable, hes not this dude with big cool powers or anything like that but he loves nico and he sees nico unlike everyone else
i used to be really angry at jasico shippers and spew alot of anti jasico shit but tbh i dont care right now. i just dont like the ship (some of the shippers are really weird too so that turned me off alot) and i personally think solangelos better for alot of reasons (mostly dynamic wise) even if people despise will's 'lack of personality'
even with percico, some people argue that the age gap isnt "that bad" but even if they were the same age i wouldnt ship it because i dont think they work together + i think it was essential for nicos plot to have this unrequited crush on percy and them getting together would defeat the whole purpose. they have a complex relationship and its interesting, with biancas death and nicos crush on him and nico repressing his gay thoughts because of religious guilt, but i think all these also make for a not so great relationship so i dont see it at all lol (also also there are alot of moments where percys mean to him and i just dont like it at all)
[another thing to point out is i grew up really relating to nico in every sense of his character and when he got into a happy relationship and got friends it was really important to me, so thats why i used to go on and on about solangelo and percico and jasico in my old posts. i still do prefer solangelo but ive definitely mellowed down and so my dislike for other ships isnt because im some angry solangelo fan or anything like that lmao]
so yeah, thats all!
i talked abt my reasonings for disliking jasico and percico here! {tbh it isnt that detailed, mayb i have to make another post about why percicos so bad beyond the age gap}
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clumsyclifford · 4 years
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thank you 🙈 it's just psychology in general rn & i'm planning to do a masters in forensic psych and then one in clinical so that i could perhaps eventually become a therapist which i don't really want to do but the option would be nice 😅 & tbh i don't really understand the whole major thingy? to me it sounds like that's what you're gonna get a degree in (right?) but like what do you study if you don't have one yet (i hope these questions aren't too stupid i just genuinely have no clue) (1/2)
(2/2) i am literally listening to it while typing this they just asked me to not put my life in the hands of a rock'n'roll band god what a song brb gotta scream along 😅 also i really hope you ate something by now if not please do that now? i don't want you to be in pain and i get very, very worried when somebody's not eating so please eat a little 🙈 & what a cute anon message somebody thinks i'm cool i'm crying and your reaction was so lovely as well you both made my day love you 💕 -fiancee
very very cool!! jfkgajdf mood being a therapist is cool in concept but in reality i would probably be very bad at it but i definitely understand wanting to keep your options open
oh yes yes forgot that you are not in america yes so you major in the thing you’re getting a degree in. so for example at the moment my major is drama and so when i graduate if i don’t change my major which i will but anyway i’ll have a bachelor of arts degree in drama. and you have to declare your major at the end of sophomore year (at most schools anyway) if you want to finish college in four years BUT you can be “undecided” before then and you just take gen eds (general education credits, also called core curriculum classes sometimes) and lots of different classes because like. it’s a liberal arts degree (unless you’re at a conservatory in which case i don’t know what happens conservatories scare me conceptually) so not only do you study things in your major you also have to take basic knowledge classes about a bunch of other stuff. really annoying if you ask me cos it means i have to be taking a math class in college but the principle is good i think
omg mood also YES i ate a bagel it was quite yummy and then i had a cheese stick THE HOUSE FINALLY HAS CHEESE STICKS AGAIN HOW EXCITING FOR ME!!! 
yes that’s because you ARE cool it’s what u deserve
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