Got Bored and Decided to Transcript My Roomate Reviewing Homestuck Characters
Tw// Strong Language
My Roommate
Me
John:
Ugly
*giggle*
Rose:
Stuck Up
*still laughing* No like what you THINK about them
....Stuck Up
okay
Dave:
He looks like he shat himself and trying to play it off. He bullies other kids for clout
Jade:
And, look like she really needs dick in her life. Nerd Ass
Karkat:
Are these just the transp- uh, are these different people?
*burst into laughter*
*laughing as well* what?, what
These are different type of like species
Alright. For him...ugly
Just ugly?
Terezi:
He (yes she assumed terezi was a guy) looks like he tried to be a rockstar but can’t pull it off because his teeth is just giving him too much Emo vibes. So he just “I have to be a hardcore Emo bruh, uhh, but I don’t have hands so I can’t go uhhh” you know what I mean?
You noticed their signs?
Yeah I noticed their signs, Libra
Libra, ass
Gamzee:
He’s trying too hard. Look at you, you trying to be kiss? You ain’t gonna make it honey, with your long horn ass- you’re horny aren’t you?
*squeeking in laughter at this point*
Kanaya:
Clout
Clout?
Seeker
Vriska:
Oh, I like this one. You look like you got into a little Tussle Tussle. I DON’T appreciate how your horns are asymmetric but it’s okay you can be cool or whatever, Ms. Scorp- oh I don’t like Scorpios fuck you never mind. Where the Leo?
Aradia:
I do like her horns tho. What’s that Aries?
Yeah
Aries are bitches too. My mom’s an Aries but it’s chill. I do like your tattered skirt, looks like you’re ready?
*wheezing* ready for what?
*In the tone of a drag queen* You know what she’s ready for. Got some demon dick in you guurrrrl.
Got the little sizzle with the snake tongue
Nepeta:
Here’s the Leo
Why you gotta be a furry tho?
What’s with the tail? I’m not mad at it, you’re kinda cute. You look like you need some sleep tho with them bags under your eyes but you cute tho, you cute.
Equius:
*immediatly after the last cute* the fuck are you?
Oh, you know, okay so it’s missing teeth right? It look like a panda snout, to me. It looked like a panda snout for a second. Also who you fighting? Who you fightin with your missing teeth. You mad son because you [???] your horn breaking off. But you know what you got the new crocs so that’s good.
The new crocs. He’s very into body building and stuff AND horses. But...
*one of us swallows a laugh*
No tea, no shade
*wheezing in tears* my gosh
Tavros:
I feel sorry for you
You know who put him in a wheelchair?
Who?
Scorpio
I BET A BITCH DID.
*scrolls back up* her
I told you she got into a tussle
*my nose starting running from laughing and now I’m snorting* she threw him off a cLIFf
That’s how scorpios be tho. That’s how scorpios be.
I finnaly breathe and stopped laughing continusesly.
Eridan:
Is that a-? Okay, that’s his hair. Mmmm horny mmmm. I mean you, Aquarius, fishy flashy. I see your little fin gill gills. I see em. You ain’t cute and that colour/collar(?) combination is a little dull and basic so.
Feferi:
You Coachella
Coachella~
Looking ass. You got glasses on? Are those glasses? You need to chill
No, those are swim goggles.
Coachella. In the fucking ocean looking ass. NEXT
Soullux:
Gemini is my moon. I fuck with the glasses, everything in 4-D. 3-D. 4-D technically. But the shoes tho. I mean you really supporting that yin yang double sided face.
He’s like half and half color blind. That’s why the glasses are like that.
Is that why you can’t- Well you can put on the same type of shoes nigga you don’t have to be [stammers]- Is that a SOCK? It look like a sock, for real for real because it ain’t got no base like the other shoe do. So, I mean that’s chill but even if you’re color blind you can put another shoe on. You ain’t got no excuse so.
Jake:
Ugly
Roxy:
Preppy. She looks like she suck dick under a fucking staircase.
She’s an alcoholic
Mm........WOW! So UNEXPECTED
Dirk:
First of all, hat shirt stupid.
Second of all, why you look like you go into your parents basement and play the drums real loud at like 2 am in the morning, just to “be...” you know what I mean. I don’t know what the word for it but
That’s basically his character
Told you
He’s also really into puppets with like dick nose
Dic-wha? You Gay?
Yeah, he is.
I can tell. That fucking hat shirt really sets it off
Jane:
I ain’t got nothing to say. The reason i got nothing to say to this bitch is because that’s the point of her character. In my eyes it looks like you DONT say nothing to that bitch.
That’s Betty Crocker...like the person who made the uh [forgets all Betty Crocker accomplishments] utensils. Cooking utensils? That’s Betty Crocker. Basically. She BASICALLY turns into Betty Crocker.
So as I said. Nobody paid attention to you so you HAD to do Something to get their attention. Obviously making some utensils was the thing for you.
*dying in laughter again* oh my god
Spoon and fork bitch. I get it, everybody has to eat you know.
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Hey I’m back to ruin everyone’s day (aka. more Hunger Games)
I’m sick and I don’t know what to do with my life
As usual, it has OCs of @polar-star-dorks and @yourmoontothenightsky
As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.
Takashi runs away from the Cornucopia.
Hikaru scares Daiki away from the cornucopia.
Tamaki and Sachi fight for a bag. Sachi gives up and retreats. [But you‘re like technically sibs]
Keiko rips a mace out of Ichiro's hands. [A good thing to happen]
Kei grabs a shovel.
Sayaka breaks Soren's nose for a basket of bread. [Ah the bread fights they are back]
Noboru runs away from the Cornucopia.
Hiroshi gathers as much food as he can.
Hideyoshi throws a knife into Himari's chest. [omg! Hideyoshi!]
Kazuo M. accidently steps on a landmine. [...//sighs]
Masashi runs away from the Cornucopia.
Hiraku runs away from the Cornucopia.
Michiko runs away from the Cornucopia.
Yoko scares Yasu away from the cornucopia.
Nana catches Tori off guard and kills her. [OMG NANA! What have the IsshiNene daughters done to y’all??!]
Akio clutches a first aid kit and runs away. [Yay]
Chieko runs away from the Cornucopia.
Koji runs away from the Cornucopia.
Kimiko grabs a sword.
Riku runs away from the Cornucopia.
Manami runs away from the Cornucopia.
Kiyoko grabs a backpack and retreats.
Moe grabs a jar of fishing bait while Shigeo gets fishing gear. [Wohh, they work together]
Takara breaks Rutna's nose for a basket of bread. [Y‘all really need to chill]
Lola runs away from the Cornucopia.
Daisuke takes a sickle from inside the cornucopia.
Kazuo K. runs into the cornucopia and hides.
Kaori runs away from the Cornucopia.
Killian runs away from the Cornucopia.
Ran takes a spear from inside the cornucopia.
Suzume finds a bag full of explosives. [Damn. Why do I feel she‘s going to blow up some Eizans?]
Tsubaki runs away from the Cornucopia.
Ayano runs away from the Cornucopia.
Hiro grabs a shovel.
Toshio grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.
Mona runs away from the Cornucopia.
Mika runs away from the Cornucopia.
Hibiki finds a bag full of explosives. [Keep it away from the Eizans]
Takayuki runs away from the Cornucopia.
-
Takayuki picks flowers. [Okay what?]
Daisuke searches for firewood.
Kaori chases Mona. [Why?]
Takara sprains her ankle while running away from Ichiro. [Omg, Ichiro stop!]
Kazuo K. poisons Hiro's drink. He drinks it and dies. [AAAH! NOT HIRO]
Koji receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
Chieko fishes.
Hikaru, Tamaki, Rutna, Hibiki, and Riku hunt for other tributes. [What a Team Up]
Hideyoshi goes hunting.
Ayano, Yasu, Michiko, and Soren track down and kill Killian. [Omg what has the poor dude done to y‘all?]
Akio picks flowers. [Smiling through the pain]
Sachi constructs a shack.
Ran steals from Kei while he isn't looking. [Ran I expected better off you. So disappoint.]
Hiraku hunts for other tributes.
Masashi camouflauges himself in the bushes.
Manami camouflauges herself in the bushes.
Lola tends to Kimiko's wounds. [Yay! Cousins]
Keiko receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Hiroshi dies of dysentery. [Ahh no! Both Hiros are gone :U]
Sayaka hunts for other tributes.
Moe and Shigeo work together for the day. [These two are still together, yay!]
Nana searches for firewood.
Yoko strangles Mika with a rope. [Omg! It‘s technically your cousin!!!]
Tsubaki overhears Toshio and Daiki talking in the distance.
Suzume is pricked by thorns while picking berries.
Noboru searches for firewood.
Takashi defeats Kiyoko in a fight, but spares her life. [Good Boy Takashi]
-
Hideyoshi convinces Akio to snuggle with him. [Okay what?]
Soren ambushes Moe and kills her. [NOO MOE MY BBY! She was having such a good time DD: Soren!]
Kimiko climbs a tree to rest.
Sachi cooks her food before putting her fire out.
Rutna sees a fire, but stays hidden.
Yoko passes out from exhaustion.
Keiko defeats Tsubaki in a fight, but spares her life.
Takayuki tries to sing himself to sleep. [Takayuki are you okay? First the flowers now this? Oh my god! He misses Kazuo!]
Ran, Hiraku, and Mona discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
Sayaka dies of dysentery. [Aw no Sayaka D:]
Riku sees a fire, but stays hidden.
Daiki tries to treat his infection.
Kazuo K. climbs a tree to rest.
Koji starts a fire.
Nana defeats Takashi in a fight, but spares his life. [Takashi‘s Karma protected him]
Noboru is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. [seriously Noboru?]
Michiko dies trying to escape the arena. [Oh no Michiko! Why would you do that??]
Takara climbs a tree to rest.
Chieko cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide. [AAAAAH!]
Ayano, Kei, and Lola cheerfully sing songs together. [Kei having a good time for once]
Hibiki tends to his wounds. [A MEDIC!]
Kaori, Manami, Toshio, Suzume, and Daisuke sleep in shifts.
Kiyoko sees a fire, but stays hidden.
Shigeo tends to Masashi's wounds. [Well, actually makes sense]
Yasu receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
Ichiro questions his sanity. [Same]
Hikaru defeats Tamaki in a fight, but spares his life. [Hikaru is the MVP]
-
Ayano practices her archery.
Nana diverts Hikaru's attention and runs away. [But he‘s a good boy D:]
Tsubaki sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.
Lola tries to sleep through the entire day. [She took advice from Mona]
Suzume scares Rutna off.
Ran and Kiyoko split up to search for resources. [The 3rd Year Elite Ten Ladies Bonding Time]
Mona runs away from Daiki.
Riku receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Kimiko and Koji work together for the day. [Aw, that‘s somehow cute]
Tamaki pushes Masashi off a cliff during a knife fight. [Well bye Masashi]
Kei sets an explosive off, killing Keiko. [OMG KEI! I thought you were better than your brothers!! But seems like we can‘t even trust you with these damn explosives! Poor Keiko!! D:]
Takara explores the arena.
Noboru chases Yoko. [Noboru u okay?]
Ichiro unknowingly eats toxic berries. [...moron]
Daisuke and Sachi work together for the day.
Kazuo K. receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.
Hibiki, Manami, Hiraku, Soren, and Takayuki hunt for other tributes.
Takashi overhears Shigeo and Hideyoshi talking in the distance.
Toshio severely injures Yasu and leaves him to die. [TOSHIO WHY??!]
Kaori tends to Akio's wounds. [Aww, I can totally see that actually!]
-
Sachi receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
Kimiko cooks her food before putting her fire out.
Noboru tends to his wounds.
Manami cooks her food before putting her fire out. [So many true chefs uwu]
Hiraku, Hibiki, Kiyoko, and Riku sleep in shifts.
Soren, Tamaki, Kaori, and Toshio tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood.
Tsubaki, Hideyoshi, Takashi, Daisuke, and Daiki sleep in shifts.
Kazuo K. starts a fire.
Shigeo begs for Mona to kill him. She refuses, keeping Shigeo alive. [Let‘s hope we don‘t regret this]
Takayuki begs for Lola to kill him. She refuses, keeping Takayuki alive. [The Nakiri Twins are generous together...but wow Takayuki is like not okay]
Rutna, Koji, Ran, and Takara tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood. [I‘m glad to know three strong ladies are around Koji, the poor bby]
Hikaru fends Kei, Akio, and Ayano away from his fire.
Nana goes to sleep.
Suzume and Yoko talk about the tributes still alive. [Aww Suzume and Yoko bonding sounds like a cute thought actually!]
-
Manami sets an explosive off, killing Suzume, Noboru, and Kei. [MANAMI NO...though I guess Karma got to Kei....but STILL Manami you killed your technical sibling and a friend of yours!]
Toshio discovers a river.
Ayano receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
Hikaru collects fruit from a tree. [STAY AWAY]
Nana injures herself.
Ran scares Takayuki off. [Omg, Ran stop being so mean]
Hibiki tends to Akio's wounds. [//cries// yes. This is accurate and pure.]
Riku stalks Daiki.
Hideyoshi begs for Kiyoko to kill him. She refuses, keeping Hideyoshi alive.
Shigeo scares Tamaki off. [Well, you did kill his brother Tamaki]
Lola and Tsubaki work together for the day.
Kimiko defeats Sachi in a fight, but spares her life. [Good, Kimiko]
Koji receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.
Rutna sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.
Kazuo K. hunts for other tributes.
Hiraku tries to spear fish with a trident.
Mona begs for Takashi to kill her. He refuses, keeping Mona alive. [Takashi still being the best and continuing to collect good Karma]
Soren is pricked by thorns while picking berries.
Daisuke tries to spear fish with a trident.
Yoko explores the arena.
Takara discovers a river.
Kaori dies from hunger. [omg...you‘re a chef tho]
-
Kazuo K. tries to treat his infection.
Daiki questions his sanity. [Big Mood]
Hiraku, Kiyoko, Hikaru, Mona, and Tsubaki sleep in shifts.
Yoko and Nana huddle for warmth. [Aww, I guess :D]
Akio and Tamaki tell stories about themselves to each other. [Also cute]
Ran, Soren, Sachi, and Hideyoshi sleep in shifts.
Toshio and Riku tell stories about themselves to each other.
Lola passes out from exhaustion.
Shigeo, Koji, Ayano, and Hibiki sleep in shifts. [Omg get that evil man away from Koji]
Manami, Takayuki, and Takashi get into a fight. Takayuki triumphantly kills them both. [TAKAYUKI WTF?! The entire time you‘re Emo-ing around and then you just go and kill your technical siblings! I‘M SO DISAPPOINTED]
Rutna stays awake all night.
Daisuke thinks about home. [Wow...Daisuke is actually finally being pure for once]
Takara quietly hums.
Kimiko questions her sanity. [Feel ya]
-
Hideyoshi runs away from Daisuke.
Rutna scares Toshio off.
Hikaru hunts for other tributes.
Tamaki sprains his ankle while running away from Lola.
Takara is pricked by thorns while picking berries.
Soren searches for firewood.
Tsubaki makes a slingshot.
Kimiko repeatedly stabs Ran to death with sais. [KIMI!]
Mona, Shigeo, Hiraku, Takayuki, and Daiki hunt for other tributes. [Omg...stop taking this dude into your team for heaven‘s sake]
Koji chases Yoko. [uh okay]
Hibiki chases Akio. [OKAY??]
Kiyoko bashes Nana's head against a rock several times. [KIYOKO, wHY?]
Sachi chases Ayano. [Okay what‘s with all these radom chases]
Riku tries to spear fish with a trident.
Kazuo K. hunts for other tributes.
-
Kazuo K. and Ayano tell stories about themselves to each other. [Aww these two who lost all their siblings already ):]
Toshio, Takara, and Lola sleep in shifts.
Tamaki sets up camp for the night.
Kimiko and Hiraku talk about the tributes still alive. [Oh some Yukihira Siblings Bonding Time]
Akio fends Tsubaki, Yoko, and Riku away from his fire.
Hikaru lets Soren into his shelter. [Hikaru remains the MVP]
Koji receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.
Rutna looks at the night sky.
Mona receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
Kiyoko destroys Daiki's supplies while he is asleep. [Omg, Kiyoko can you not?]
Sachi and Shigeo hold hands. [what?]
Daisuke and Hibiki huddle for warmth. [Daisuke is truly pure now...]
Takayuki tends to Hideyoshi's wounds.
-
Kimiko hunts for other tributes.
Koji steals from Daiki while he isn't looking. [Wooaah, I know you like to argue but really? Also I thought you were pure Koji!]
Tsubaki scares Kazuo K. off.
Shigeo collects fruit from a tree. [Of fucking course he does! OMG YOU IDIOT!]
Daisuke scares Lola off. [Pls don‘t tell me Demon Child takes over again??]
Kiyoko steals from Hibiki while he isn't looking. [Kiyoko is truly a criminal now huh?]
Riku camouflauges himself in the bushes.
Takayuki makes a slingshot.
Hiraku, Hikaru, Tamaki, Akio, and Takara hunt for other tributes. [What a team]
Sachi thinks about home.
Ayano, Mona, Hideyoshi, and Toshio hunt for other tributes.
Soren goes hunting.
Rutna dies from an infection. [Aw no Rutna]
Yoko makes a wooden spear.
-
Tamaki receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.
Akio questions his sanity.
Riku, Kazuo K. , and Toshio cheerfully sing songs together.
Daiki questions his sanity.
Sachi is awoken by nightmares.
Takara and Shigeo hold hands. [Okay can y‘all stop holding hands with this dude?]
Koji receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
Mona and Lola tell stories about themselves to each other. [Shouldn‘t you two know each other quite well though?? But yay sibling bonding time!]
Ayano stays awake all night.
Hibiki looks at the night sky.
Kiyoko receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. [omg.]
Tsubaki, Soren, and Yoko discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.
Hiraku begs for Kimiko to kill him. She reluctantly obliges, killing Hiraku. [OMG! You are siblings!! Stop killing each other pls!!]
Hikaru and Hideyoshi talk about the tributes still alive.
Daisuke goes to sleep.
Takayuki starts a fire.
-
Sachi, Soren, Shigeo, and Tamaki raid Koji's camp while he is hunting. [Omg! HOW DARE Y‘ALL? Poor Koji!!]
Kazuo K. spears Hikaru in the abdomen. [NO NOT THE MVP!]
Hideyoshi and Takara work together to drown Toshio. [OMG WHAT?!]
Daisuke overhears Tsubaki and Akio talking in the distance.
Kimiko attacks Ayano, but she manages to escape. [Kimiko please]
Takayuki tracks down and kills Riku. [DUDE]
Lola picks flowers. [I love how I just had four murders on one day and then there‘s Lola picking flowers]
Daiki and Yoko hunt for other tributes. [Daiki probably asking questions what Takara thinks about him]
Mona stalks Hibiki. [Why?]
Kiyoko hunts for other tributes. [Kiyoko I am starting to think Ichiro possessed you]
-
Acidic rain pours down on the arena. [ARGH]
Takayuki is unable to find shelter and dies. [Aw]
Takara survives.
Lola survives.
Daiki shoves Akio into a pond of acidic rain, but is pulled in by Akio, killing them both. [OMG DAIKI]
Hideyoshi injures Soren and leaves him in the rain to die. [OMG HIDEYOSHI]
Shigeo refuses Kazuo K. shelter, killing him. [I‘m not surprised <.< Poor Kazuo tho DD:]
Kiyoko survives.
Yoko injures Koji and leaves him in the rain to die. [YOKO NO NOT THE PURE ONE]
Ayano survives.
Daisuke survives.
Tsubaki trips face first into a puddle of acidic rain. [I hate Arena Events]
Hibiki trips face first into a puddle of acidic rain. [I hate them sm]
Tamaki survives.
Mona is unable to find shelter and dies. [No Mona D:]
Kimiko injures Sachi and leaves her in the rain to die. [DUDE KIMIKO PLS!]
-
Hideyoshi kills Kimiko with her own weapon. [Omg.....The Demon Child Syndrom went onto Hideyoshi I think D:]
Shigeo forces Takara to kill Yoko or Daisuke. She decides to kill Daisuke. [Of course Takara would protect her cousin but SHIGEO YOU MONSTER]
Ayano, Kiyoko, and Lola start fighting, but Kiyoko runs away as Ayano kills Lola. [...What is even happening]
Tamaki falls into a pit and dies. [This is just a day full of death, I‘m crying]
-
Shigeo, Hideyoshi, and Yoko hunt for other tributes. [Stop trusting Shigeo...]
Ayano makes a slingshot.
Takara is pricked by thorns while picking berries.
Kiyoko dies of dysentery. [Seriously? What a way to go Kiyoko.]
-
Shigeo convinces Hideyoshi to snuggle with him. [Okay what? Just now you forced someone to kill his childhood friend]
Takara tries to sing herself to sleep.
Yoko tries to sing herself to sleep.
Ayano tries to sing herself to sleep. [It‘s a musical now!]
-
Yoko attacks Takara, but she manages to escape. [YOKO NO! She‘s your cousin who protected you!!]
Shigeo and Hideyoshi work together for the day. [Okay what‘s going on between you two?]
Ayano receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.
-
Takara cooks her food before putting her fire out. [A chef]
Yoko shoots a poisonous blow dart into Ayano's neck, slowly killing her. [Yoko! NO WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! Poor child D:]
Shigeo decapitates Hideyoshi with a sword. [OMG, you really are the ultimate backstabber! But hey! I kept warning y‘all but you wouldn‘t listen! Now here‘s what you got! DON‘T TRUST THE EIZANS]
-
Shigeo explores the arena.
Yoko kills Takara with her own weapon. [o m g....Not only Mika but now also Takara. Yoko....why?? This is so awful]
-
Shigeo strangles Yoko after engaging in a fist fight. [AS IF! NO! YOU CAN‘T BE SERIOUS!]
-
The winner is Shigeo from District 8! [omg.....Mona could‘ve stopped this. But she didn‘t and now y‘all really let Shigeo be the first one to have a double win...I‘m SCREAMING WHAT WAS THIS??]
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