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nnight-dances · 2 years

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HOW TO FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH YEONJUN

pairings: yeonjun x f!reader

tropes: one-sided enemies to lovers >:-)

plotline: yeonjun loves you. you've loved him before but now you're convinced he deserves nothing but your ironic smiles. well, you're wrong. these three acts of your life uncover the truth behind your resentment and the depth of yeonjun's love. plus, an epilogue where we collectively hate on short stories because only poetry can truly capture a writer's horniness!

what to expect: a lot of rambling in parentheses but i promise it's essential to the storyline, (i have many thoughts about how i've used this feature in this story which i can share if anyone's interested.) mbti talk, some tiktok slang.

song recommendations: sweet by cigarettes after sex, moonlight by dhruv, lay all your love on me by abba

—

THE FIRST ACT: 2 THINGS YOU (MIGHT) HATE ABOUT YEONJUN

it’s not a secret that yeonjun does everything with his everything. he’s only invested in his select few interests but just the little things take up all the space in his heart. you could argue for or against his way of living, he’s more than aware it’s not the healthiest to be like this but he’s not ready to change, not while he’s still young. for now, he’s a summation of fixations and obsessions in his world. and it just so happens that one of his obsessions is you.

“what’s this? y/n’s got a new piercing?” he leans back on his heels dramatically, mouth forming an o at the sight of the newly-added butterfly stud on the helix of your ear. “and it’s only tuesday. week not going very well for you.”

you narrow your eyes at him in your typical resting-bitch-face fashion, instantly taking on an aloof demeanor, “i’m extremely uncomfortable with the fact that you’re keeping up with the number of piercings i have. can’t say i’m flattered.”

“ha! at this point, i don’t even have to try to keep count. you get a new one every other day.”

“oh, leave her alone, jun,” calls out taehyun from behind you, “she’s doing it for inspiration for her portfolio that’s due in three days.”

two ring-adorned middle fingers stick up in front of taehyun’s face, your hoarse voice following suit, “you’re a terrible friend, kang taehyun.”

“two days? and you’re not done? sorry, love, but as an ESTP, i physically cannot forgive you. i have to shame you in public.”

yeonjun laughs a little too hard for your liking at that, about to chime in with his own patronizing comment but you cut in, “oh, well, you know who else is an ESTP? donald j. trump!”

yeonjun laughs again at that, enjoying the banter between you and taehyun a lot. he joins in, “i’m an ENFP. that’s the same as katniss everdeen’s, so i’d say that explains why i’m so hot.”

you frown, “you mean you would choose peeta over gale? yeah, i can see why you have such bad taste in everything.”

taehyun howls in laughter at that and yeonjun shakes his head, “oh, ho ho ho,” he shuffles closer to you, “you don’t understand, y/n, how badly you’ve just insulted yourself.”

before you can fully comprehend the meaning of his statement, he’s gone, grabbing (stealing) a can of beer from hueningkai who’s busy forcing beomgyu to arm-wrestle him.

“whatever that means,” you huff out, massaging your temples. taehyun sighs, concealing a knowing smile, “yeah. i’ve no idea what he means.”

you rest your head against the sofa he’s sat on, stretching out your legs, “i actually hate you for betraying me like that.”

“oh god, maybe i’ll stop the day you stop talking like we’re still in the second grade and i’ve lent my eraser to the wrong person.”

“you might as well have!” you complain, not in the least petty because, “choi yeonjun did not need to know i’m behind on my portfolio. god knows what he’s gonna do with that information.”

taehyun snorts, “ah, yes, he’s probably going to plan a full-fledged assassination involving your family and kids simply based on the knowledge that you’re a helpless procrastinator.”

“you know what?” you sit up with a groan, “i think you’re the one i should be worried about sharing my secrets with. you’re the real threat here.”

your ‘friend’ simply chuckles under his breath as he watches you depart his side and hopes yeonjun’s somewhere in the crowd of the party to keep your nerves… unnerved.

yeonjun is present in the crowd, sat on the less than reassuring metal stairs of beomgyu and hueningkai’s shared apartment. his hand fidget with his phone, struggling to stop himself from going on tinder only to be disappointed because he’s just looking for another y/n and that near impossible, unless you break your oath to rely on “real life encounters and experiences” (your very own words) to find love.

he finds you then, in a group of people hanging around the balcony, cigarettes in hand. you stand a little far apart from the others, looking undoubtedly spaced-out as you swing on your heels back and forth. you’re pretty, even though yeonjun can only see one-fourth of your face, what with all the darkness and your hair in the way.

but you hate him. even if your disgusted grimaces and cold glares are all but a joke, you did seem harbor some kind of resentment toward yeonjun. he’d no idea what it was and trust him when he says he’s been putting his neck on the line just to figure out why.

so far the reasons that have him most convinced include,

one: you hate all men in general and he just happens to be a particularly irksome male presence in your life.

this is a pretty likely explanation, he thinks as he approaches you, because even as an outsider to the group you’re in, he can see that you reserve your expletives for certain men.

“…and that’s why i think everything is soup,” yuta finishes saying when yeonjun joins you. for a second there’s silence and even mark who usually can’t control his laughter maintains a poker face. then, you groan, “yuta, if i had a pencil right now, i genuinely would have stabbed you with it.”

now, this makes everyone crack up while you regard them in disbelief with a look that screams you guys know i’m serious right? because you’re dead serious.

so yeah, it’s a good bet to say that men aren’t your favorite kind of people. but still, yeonjun couldn’t shake off the feeling that your dislike for him is more personal. wishful thinking, perhaps? but then, you turn and notice yeonjun standing beside you.

your half-smile tightens into a frown, “when did you get here?”

there it was. that specific tone you use with, that was missing when you’d threatened lucas just moments ago. the grit in your teeth, the intensity of your eye-contact, even the way you say you changes. which brings him to the next and last potential reason that yeonjun has spent days, if not years, pondering.

two: yeonjun had done you wrong without knowing and ever since then, you’ve grown to absolutely despise him.

now, yeonjun knew for a fact that you’re expert at holding grudges, clear from how quick you’ve always been to bring up embarrassing things people around you, specifically taehyun, had done. and to be honest, you’re just good at remembering unusual amount of detail which you use to your advantage.

which is why yeonjun knows you’ll know he’s lying when he says, “i’ve been here for a good ten minutes, y/n. i’m so hurt you haven’t noticed.”

“stop that,” you shoot back instantly, raising a singular but intimidating index finger, “i know what you’re doing.”

yeonjun raises his eyebrow in amusement, “stop what? what am i doing?” he slightly leans in to dramatically tuck in a few stray strands of hair, “please, enlighten me.”

the low, husky voice he uses is not lost on you. despite your flaming cheeks, you scoff, “that! you’re flirting with me!” you reach up and promptly untuck the hair from behind your hair, “these are my slut strands. you’re not allowed to touch them without permission.”

“your—” yeonjun pauses, “slut... strands? right.” he swallows a chuckle, smirking instead, all while internally he’s having a breakdown over how insane you are. like in a good way. in the way that everything you say is fucking crazy but it’s so native to your logic that it drives him crazy and holy cheese, yeonjun is scaring himself right now.

he looks away momentarily to see the rest of the group’s conversation floating elsewhere. he turns back to you, “so you noticed?”

you cock up a brow, “that you’re flirting with me? no shit, yeonjun, you know i may not look street-smart but i have to live with taehyun and his witty ass so trust me, i’m not oblivious.”

“oh, i beg to differ,” he settles closer to you, leaning against the same pillar as you, shoulder flush against yours, “i didn’t think for a second that you were oblivious.”

“that’s why you ran away after telling me i was insulting myself by insulting your taste?”

yeonjun flushes, taken aback by your straightforwardness, coughing to cover up his lack of excuses at that. you breathe out a laugh at his flustered state, “hmm, so goes down the all-mighty choi yeonjun.”

“at least i wasn’t defeated by my inability to complete my creative writing portfolio due in three…” yeonjun looks down at his watch, “actually, now, two days.”

this time, you’re left without a comeback, “that’s a low blow, man.”

he laughs, “come on, isn’t this like your first time being this late?”

“once again, i remain creeped out at you knowing things like that but,” you relax noticeably next to him, “i guess i ran out of ideas this time. not sure what’s wrong.”

“and this had never happened before?”

“i thought you already knew this.” yeonjun rolls his eyes, a complete contradiction to the grin on his face. ”hm, maybe you’ve run out because you’re trying to do it the same way you’ve always done it?”

“i mean, of course i’m doing it the same way,” you mutter, “that’s like the point of having a regular writing practice. it needs to become natural.”

“yeah, but you need spice things up a little sometimes!”

“gross,” you scrunch up your nose, “you sound like you’re prescribing me a threesome right now.”

he shrugs playfully, “if that’s what rocks your boat.” you push him away at that and he laughs out, “okay, okay, but i’m serious. try something new.” you quieten down at that, probably thinking.

“what about…” you look up at him expectantly and he almost fumbles over his words, “um, what about walking around the city?”

—

THE SECOND ACT: LOVE BEGINS BEHIND CLOSED PARENTHESES

full disclosure here: yeonjun’s second reason is right. the first one isn’t completely wrong, but it’s more so the second one that finds you in the gropes of overthinking that night.

you know how at a certain point in the past, you really (really, really, really) like someone but then things don’t work because that person isn’t into you (but more because you’re too caught up in your own self-perception to do anything) so slowly that lots (and lots and lots) of like turns into a lump of resentment? yeah, that pretty much describes your relationship with yeonjun. more or less, you hate him for not liking you (”in the past!! i don’t care about him anymore!” you hastily add from behind kang taehyun who had been narrating this whole paragraph. taehyun poorly covers up an incredulous snort.)

“so now you’re going on a date with him?” taehyun asks a little too loudly, “how does that happen?”

“it doesn’t happen because nothing is happening because i’m not going on a date with him!” you half-scream, hitting the brunette on his head to try and shove some sense into it, “and please, stop being so loud or i’m going to cry.”

“y/n, we live alone. and i think you’re going to cry nevertheless, but okay. if it’s not a date, what is it?”

“it’s just a walk,” you say and when taehyun looks at you blankly, “a walk around the city, in his exact words.” more blankness. more silence. “i was going to go alone but yeonjun said he knows an obscure part of town that would help me become, you know, curious.”

“uh-huh, right, of course…” taehyun purses his lips, intrigued to see how far you’d go with your denial.

“stop looking at me like you’re so much better than me! and no—” you cut him off knowingly, “don’t say that you are better than me. you’re not. what you are is an asshole and i hate you.”

you fall into your sheets with a frustrated wail and taehyun laughs at your state for a few seconds before returning to his role as your therapist slash best friend.

“okay, y/n, i know you don’t like to think about, let alone admit it, but you’re into yeonjun. and since i can’t let what happened a year ago happen again, i’m telling you that i’m almost completely sure that he’s into you, too. so please, don’t be hostile tomorrow on your date— sorry, your ‘walk’ with him. use the opportunity or i’m sleeping over at kai’s.”

—

“i don’t know why i let you talk me into this,” you scoff as you fall into step next to yeonjun. “we’re literally at a stupid park.”

he gasps like the theatre kid he should be, “first of all, this is a huge park and you’ve no idea how much people-watching you can from here. and secondly, i bought you coffee so all you’re being right now is ungrateful.”

you stay silent, eyes scanning a group of middle-aged ladies that passes you. you hear a whiff of their conversation, something about one of them wanting to take a break by the water fountain.

“see? you’re already in the zone and i didn’t even have to shut up.”

you look back at him, awed look morphing into a scowl, “no, i think it’s just really easy for me to forget you’re here.” yeah, it’s safe to say you haven’t taken a word taehyun said to the heart.

but no matter what you say, half an hour later finds you perched on a bench, crouched over your notebook, fingers scratching quick bullet points into the paper. you look up every ten minutes or so, head moving up and then rotating slowly, and then back to writing.

it’s only when yeonjun brings you your second cup of coffee that you notice the stiffness in your shoulders. he smiles at you, brightly. brightly? no, it’s the sun that’s bright, not yeonjun. he’s… moronic.

“wanna take a break?” he asks. you stand up in answer, taking the cup he holds out for you, the words thank you leaving your lips a little too quickly. he doesn’t overreact like you expect him to, his attention on some kids a few ways away from where the two of you are.

“you wanna play frisbee?” you mean to mock, not offer, but yeonjun’s ear perk up and he’s pulling you after him before another word can be said.

“hey, kids!” he greets the children who look like they’re maybe in middle school, “could we join y’all for a bit?”

it’s a a girl in pigtails who answers excitedly, probably encouraged by yeonjun’s looks (hey, yeonjun is objectively good-looking. just because you’re stating facts about his appearance doesn’t mean you’re in love with him. because you’re not in love with him.)

“sorry, this one is a little zoned out most of the time, so just don’t aim at her face,” you hear yeonjun say as you finish convincing yourself of your lack of feelings for him. you resist the itch to flip him off and flash a polite smile to the blonde boy next to you.

he responds with an enthusiastic wave, “hello! i’m ren!” you raise your eyebrows, not expecting him to introduce himself but return with a, “hey ren, i’m y/n. nice to meet—”

you’re cut off by yeonjun’s yell as the yellow frisbee flies your way. your hands come up to shield your face but ultimately it’s yeonjun’s body crashing into yours that saves you. does it, really? you wonder as you groan from under him. the grass is damp and you’re in it and yeonjun’s on top of you. you’re not sure what makes you more annoyed.

“i fucking hate you,” you whisper as yeonjun props himself up. he’s still close enough though so he grins, looking objectively good-looking despite the twig that’s found its way into his hair. “smile, babe, i just saved your life.”

you don’t know how to respond to his outrageous use of the endearment so you’re grateful when ren exclaims, “he just called y/n noona baby!!!! ewww, they’re dating!!”

on second thought, you’re not grateful because apparently, this is enough to wreak havoc among the group of children. weren’t they already at least ten? isn’t that old enough to not be annoying? you don’t find out because next thing, yeonjun’s hand is wrapped around your wist as he helps you up.

you shoot him a glare and the loud boy next to yeonjun screams, “they’re holding hands!!!”

“gosh darn, kids, your parents never touch each other or what?”

“my mother said my father’s breath smells like beer and that’s why she won’t give him kissies like she gives me them!” the girl in pigtails answers, proud for some reason. despite everything, you crack a smile at that, leaning into yeonjun’s side who’s struggling to stifle his laughter.

“i think we’ve had enough of a break, no?” he says to you and you nod, “please, let’s go before i’m forced to write about the bad parenting in my portfolio.”

about five minutes pass in you trying to break free from the group who insist on another round. another round takes two minutes before ren takes a hit to his knee and you both take the chance to leave, with you almost sprinting back to the peace of your bench in the shade.

you fall against the tree next to the bench, yeonjun close behind. “that was…” you take a moment to catch your breath, “not bad?”

yeonjun claps his hands together, “that’s exactly what i’ve been trying to tell you! this park! those kids! me? not bad!”

and well, because you guess you can allow that the whole affair isn’t half bad, it’s already evening when you’re too tired to write anymore. you look away from your almost illegible handwriting to find yeonjun gazing at you. weirdly (longingly).

he clears his throat, “you think you have enough?”

feeling weird (love-struck), you also clear your throat, “um, i should. i hope so, my fingers feel like they’re going to fall off.”

“that’s a good sign you’ve worked hard,” he pats your head. you don’t flinch away somehow. he continues, “it’s also a good sign that we should get some food.” when you narrow your eyes at him, he rushes to add, “you know, to relax your fingers.”

the excuse is ridiculous. the premise of this entire day is ridiculous. hell, yeonjun’s entire being is ridiculous. but you’re spent, your walls aren’t as rigid in the soft light of the sunset, and yeonjun’s eyes have an unreal glow when he’s silent.

and so, ridiculously enough, you answer yeonjun, “we should get sushi.”

—

that night, you return to your place to a tipsy party (?) of taehyun, soobin, and beomgyu with hueningkai glued to his phone-screen in concentration, filming everything. “you’re back!” kai announces when he opens the door, phone still recording, and you flip the camera off, not without a careless smile.

taehyun stands up at the sight of you, “i take it you had a fruitful date?” soobin laughs, so very loudly. “lmao,” (yes, soobin has the ability to say text slang out loud irl, next question please), “get it? fruit-ful? date? dates are fruits? am i drunk already?”

you shake your head at them and simply hug taehyun, feeling unbelievably affectionate today. “oh? what’s this? y/n initiating physical contact? choi yeonjun must be a god.”

you pull away, “this has nothing to do with him,” you say, sounding unconvincing even to your own ears, “i’m just tired. good night. if you make too much noise, i will take kai hostage and—”

“oh, do that anyway!! please, i’ll pay you!!!!” beomgyu shouts enthusiastically and you leave the living room before you have to witness any more of their drunken behavior.

but even in bed, you find yourself unable to sleep, mind occupied with… thoughts (is hanging out with so many men making you slightly dull? maybe. is it making emotionally constipated? absolutely. you make a mental note to schedule a lunch date with yeji later).

to be more specific, the image of yeonjun sat across from you holding out a piece of spicy tuna roll in your direction is too stubborn to leave your head. you think about yeonjun, among other things, that night.

yeonjun is no different, his mind still reeling from the realization that he’s spent an entire day with you. a day. a date? maybe, but whatever it was, you definitely couldn’t hate him too much if you could stand to spend that much time with him. you even shared a meal with him, laughed when he pretended his chopsticks were an airplane transporting food to your mouth. you humored him. you laughed with him. was that real?

—

if you think there’s nothing worse than waking up, walking out of your room— and right into yeonjun, then you’re wrong. because the disorientation you feel comes nowhere close to compare to yeonjun’s condition when he runs into you on his way to the common bathroom. he’s not sure what he else expected but it doesn’t surprise him to see that you sleep in a ginormous graphic tee (with mona lisa’s face on it?) and shorts.

“what are you doing here?”

the sense of deja vu overwhelms yeonjun for a moment before he smiles a little because your tone is not hostile, only confused. could he take this as progress? (or are you just half-asleep?)

“i’m… i’m here for brunch?” he’s a bit out of it by the time you raise your arms to stretch, heaving a half-groan, half-sigh. and listen, yeonjun’s not a pervert but he is considerably in love with you so seeing you with your slightly droopy eyes and slumped shoulders in your perfectly in-character pajamas sets off his imagination. to all kinds of destinations. (you as a domestic cat? you as a tired soul resting in his bed after a long night? god, he’s not doing this right now.)

“i don’t? i don’t remember agreeing to brunch?” you mumble confusedly, almost petulantly.

“you know,” announces soobin, suddenly revealing himself from the shadows (he’s literally been standing beside the two of you for two minutes, waiting for you to notice him. all he gets is the heat of the sexual tension between you and yeonjun. he could cook eggs on that shit.) “yeonjun was our friend before he knew you, y/n. actually, taehyun was our friend before he was your soulmate, so a brunch is a pretty normal occasion for us.”

yeonjun nods and you simply nod your head, probably too sleepy to make any witty comments at that. he shrugs, “but you’re more than welcome to join us if you want. for brunch? i’m guessing you haven’t eaten anything since our— since last night.” why’s yeonjun flustered? he’s only invited to brunch with four other people.

“i’m—” you’re cut off by yeonjun making his way to the bathroom. when he shuts the door behind him with a less than dramatic thud, you look at soobin in confusion. “so many things are happening too early in the morning.”

but brunch becomes a thing. and you join brunch, helping yourself to taehyun’s nearly perfect breakfast spread, your plate filled with bacon, eggs, and waffles.

“i say it’s nearly perfect because all we have in this house is fucking peanut butter!” you cry out, making taehyun give you a glare because he’s heard this many times before, “i don’t know how many times i’ll have to tell you this, but jam! jam is meant to be eaten with bread, it’s the only right way, it’s the way god intended things. do i look like a gym bro to you?”

“lol no,” says soobin, high-fiving you (you’re not sure if he does that because he agrees with your point about the jam, or if he’s also not a gym bro?) “y/n has a point. there’s so much more options with jam, think of all the berries you could be eating! peanut butter is the same old, same old.”

“god, i hate it when these two are in the same room.” you don’t have time to respond to beomgyu’s exasperated comment because yeonjun shifts closer to you on the sofa, coffee kettle in hand.

“want some? i’ll pour it out for you,” he offers, eyebrows raised. you pause for a second, mouth almost hanging open at how motherly he seems, but nod in a daze and watch as he stands up, takes out a black mug (that coincidentally happens to be your self-proclaimed mug) and pours coffee into it. you’re unaware of the little smile on your face when he brings it back to you, placing the hot mug next to your plate.

you’re about to think out loud about his motherliness when beomgyu follows up on his previous comment, even more boisterous, “oh, but these two in the same room are even worse.”

you look up at that to see the other three staring at you. you make a disgusted face, “why are y’all staring at me? please stop, i feel unsafe.”

“in that case, yeonjun must be feeling really fucking unsafe from how closely you’ve been staring at him,” laughs soobin, words slightly muffled from the food in his mouth. he’s lucky he’s your favorite friend (honestly, it’s just because he looks adorable with his cheeks full but eh, his personality wasn’t that bad you suppose).

“i’ve? not? been staring?” you ignore beomgyu’s snickering, picking up the coffee, “you guys need to get lives so that you stop searching so desperately for crumbs of drama here. i’m not here to serve as a source of entertainment for yo—” you promptly, contradict your statement by spilling the top half of your drink right into your lap.

while you sit there with scalding on your bare legs, it’s only yeonjun who seems concerned (overtly so, you’d observe if you’d care to admit it) with the others laughing their hearts out, satisfied at the comedic timing of your accident.

yeonjun, meanwhile, rushes to you with a handful of tissues, lips in a pout, “what the fuck, are you stupid? how do you spill that? have you never had coffee before?” you sit there trying to get the tissues from his hand, but he swats your attempts away, swiping the coffee from your thighs.

he’s much more careful that you would’ve been, making sure none of it soaks through your grey night shorts and a hand on your knee, probably to steady himself (spoiler: his hand on your knee doesn’t steady either of you, especially not him). but he manages himself well, his worrying outweighing all else as he looks up at you, “are you okay?”

you realize you haven’t said a word, eyes raising to taehyun’s who’s now looking away but watching slyly from his peripheral vision. beomgyu and soobin are in similar positions, pretending to be decent people when really, they’re over the moon.

“yeah, i’m okay, i didn’t really feel any of that,” you mumble, patting at your thighs, “but, um, sorry i wasted so much of your coffee.” yeonjun takes one of your hands, “no, don’t worry about it, i can always make more. you can’t make more of these legs.”

“okay! that’ll do it! i can’t take it any more!” beomgyu stands up with a melodramatic groan, “you two are gross, dude! like, not even in an elementary school way, you’re just objectively gross. i hate this.”

“what was that you said about not being our source of entertainment?” jokes soobin, elbow poking yours, pointing at you and then yeonjun who’s still crouching in front of you, one hand on you, “i very much feel like i’m in a k-drama right now, so i’ve no clue what you mean.”

you can sense from the tilt of taehyun’s grin that he’s about to follow suit with an equally, if not more, obnoxious comment, so you stand up, declaring, “i’m going to my room. i have a portfolio to finish in two days!”

you retire to your room after that, deciding concentrating on your work will do you some good now that you’ve… socialized? could you even call it that? you leave it at that, plopping down on your study desk where you would’ve usually conceptualized your rough drafts like you’d done yesterday in your notebook. it doesn’t compare to the park yeonjun took you to, but there is a window to your right from where you can see the slow street in front of your apartment. people-watching through that window has given you some pretty cool ideas for your pieces. you suppose it was like a pocket-sized version of your experience at the park.

you work the afternoon away, surprised to see it getting dark outside when there’s a knock at your door. you twist in your chair and call out, “come in!”

a light-brown head of hair pokes through and squinting in the darkness of your room, you can tell that’s not taehyun. “yeonjun?”

“woah, haven’t you got electricity in here?” he asks, stepping in and you see he’s put on a cream-colored cardigan on the blue shirt from brunch.

“nah, taehyun uses the money i give him for the electricity bill and gambles it all away,” you joke, sighing with feigned sorrow.

“ah, right, i forget taehyun has a gambling addiction. i’m sorry, miss, can’t imagine what it’s like to be married to someone like that.”

you laugh at that, yeonjun joining in. he leans in against the wall across from you, finding the switch to the lights in your room and turns them on. you’re both quiet for a moment.

you, because you’re reveling in the new-ness of your relationship with yeonjun. you feel like you’ve moved on in some way, no longer feeling caught up in the bitterness that had been coloring your interactions with him so far. he’s close to you, this yeonjun right now, who really, truly looks at you. you don’t even remember the yeonjun who broke your heart. (was it him who broke your heart? you begin to wonder, or just your imagination?)

for yeonjun, he doesn’t think he could’ve said anything even if he wanted to. you look so otherworldly in the dim glow of the evening, your eyes meeting his eyes, unapologetically and most importantly, without resentment. you’re beautiful, here silently in front of him, and he thinks he might have a chance with you after all.

“um,” he’s the one to break the silence, “have you eaten since brunch?”

you shake your head, “have you?”

“nope, beomgyu roped me into watching netflix with him when i tried to study,” he admits with a shy giggle, “next thing i knew the sun was setting.”

—

THE THIRD ACT: WINE FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN

conversations with yeonjun always lead the most unexpected places, and this one ends up with you driving with him to the supermarket. one day, you’re taking walks and playing frisbee with yeonjun, the next you’re grocery shopping with him because he’s had a whim to cook dinner for everyone. oh, how fast the night changes.. or however that one direction song goes.

“do you like spaghetti?” he asks, approaching the shelves stacked with different types of pasta.

“think before you ask me if i like pasta again, yeonjun,” you shoot back, inspecting the packets with your hands clasped behind your back. “wow, it’s been so long since i’ve been grocery shopping. taehyun never trusts me to get stuff and that’s how we end up with only peanut butter.”

yeonjun chuckles as he scans the shelves for the kind he likes and you shuffle around a lot, making little noises at all the cute shapes in the different packings. “they have heart-shaped pasta?!” you hold up the pink package excitedly at yeonjun who closes in on you with a fond smile.

“hmm, i think i get why taehyun never lets you come grocery shopping,” he starts, “it says here this a kids’ pasta.”

you regard him with your hands on your hips, unimpressed scowl on face, “you’re saying i have to be a kid to eat heart-shaped pasta? i don’t ever want to talk to you again.”

yeonjun is in a fit of laughter but he reaches out for your wrist as you pretend to walk away anyway with a hurried, “no, no, i think we should get the heart-shaped pasta.”

the rest of your trip is you roaming around being pulled off by the obscure brands and unusual types of foods while yeonjun grabs the ingredients you’ll actually need for dinner. about fifteen minutes later, when he’s done checking off everything on his list, he finds you typing away on your phone.

he catches a glimpse of the notes app on your phone and smiles as he comes to stand in front of you, “what’s up?”

“ohh, are you done?” you look away, “i got some ideas. i’ll use them for future pieces.”

“you’re done with your portfolio?” he asks. and you nod, eyes twinkling as the two of you head to the counter, “yep, i guess your plan with the park wasn’t completely a fail. it was not bad, really not bad.”

yeonjun laughs, piling the items for the worker to bill them. you gasp at the sight of a dark purple container, “you got blueberry jam?”

(fuck, his heart skips a beat. cheesy but valid. you look like you have hearts in your eyes.) “yeah, i saw it and thought you’d like it.”

you crack a delighted smile and even though both of you are paying for the groceries, you feel like you’ve been gifted the world. “i think i love you.” (you’re only joking. …right?)

—

“taehyun!!! beomgyu!!! soobin!!!!” you holler into the house, setting up five wine glasses around the table, “dinner’s ready!”

beomgyu is the first to come out, summoned by the smell of food, gaping at the fancy set-up of the two casseroles on the table, one bigger for the spaghetti and a small dedicated to your heart pasta. “woah, this looks insane,” he comments and calls out for the other two.

yeonjun emerges from the kitchen, the bottle of red wine you’d picked out with your hands. you hadn’t been the most helpful in the conquest of the pasta ingredients but you knew a thing or two about wine. this one was one the cheaper side so you didn’t have the greatest expectations for it, but it’ll have to do.

taehyun and soobin make it to the table five minutes later, shocked at seeing a table full of homemade meal. “is this, like, you and yeonjun announcing that you’re officially a couple?” soobin asks. (he’s not joking. the way the two of you stare down at the dinner you’ve put together proudly truly has him convinced that you’re finally over the pining.)

clearly this is not the case but the sight of both of you turning as red as the spaghetti for dinner is enough to elicit a few chortles from all of them. “honestly… shut up, soobin,” yeonjun scolds and you take a seat at the table wordlessly.

the dinner is an experience. it’s been a while since any of you have had good home-cooked food like this, the past few weeks having been cluttered with take-out meals and the extent of cooking you’ve done involves frozen food.

“this is so good,” you hold up a heart pasta, waving it in the air at everyone, and then at yeonjun, “i told you this would be good. it’s so good.”

“judging from the way you’re acting like a child, i’m guessing you’re done with your portfolio?”

you glare at taehyun but nod anyway, shooting him a thumbs up, “done and dusted, sir. i even managed to proof-read it before submitting it this time.”

yeonjun has been sitting beside you, eyes round with adoration at everything you say. you can’t blame him, you’d changed into a white dress with puff-sleeves before dinner which doesn’t only fit the mood but single-handedly creates it, and it’s a rare thing to see you in a dress so casually.

taehyun smiles, “i’m proud of you. even though you’re doing the bare minimum by completing your work on time.”

you roll your eyes at his twisted way of affection, the words on the tip of your tongue dying out when yeonjun leans into you suddenly, arm reaching out for the bottle of wine beside you. he shoots you a half-smile when he meets your gaze, pouring some out for you. as he returns to his position, he says under his breath, “try not to spill this on yourself, babe.”

you hold in the giddy breath that almost escapes your throat at his words, but you can’t stop the mellow feeling that blooms in your chest, eyes following him as he pours some wine for the others, too. was it the wine that was mellow or yeonjun’s voice? (hint: it was the moment of his love for you that was mellow.)

you make it through dinner, occasionally asserting the supremity of your heart-shaped pasta for kids here and there, but overall, overwhelmed by the man by your side. when everyone’s finished eating and lazing around the sofa, beers in hand (”wine is for sissies,” beomgyu aims at you because he knows you hate it when he says that, “let’s get beer guys.”), you take to the balcony with a glass full of wine to yourself.

the night air is pleasant after the warm atmosphere inside the house and you breathe through your mouth a few times, to calm your nerves. you can feel yeonjun’s eyes on you from the living room but choose to stay still, welcoming the feeling of spacing out in solitude.

“you alright?” his voice greets your ears not two moments later. (is he really close to you right now? or is the balcony just too small for two people?)

you hum affirmatively. then, you look at him, a light laugh leaving your chest. you’re leaning into his side now, you enjoy his warmth. “i’m good.”

“didn’t know wine could make you drunk,” he breathes, heart in his throat.

you shake your head at him, “i’m not drunk.” you hesitate and then, “at best, i’m tipsy.”

“i was talking about myself. i feel drunk. ‘s never happened before.”

you frown, throwing a careless glance over your shoulder, “beer and wine? yeah, that’ll make you drunk.”

“i didn’t have any beer,” he reveals. when you narrow your eyes, he continues, “i’m not lying. i don’t like to mix the two. i’ve read it gives you headaches.”

you stay silent, holding your breath for no special reason. (…)

“besides, once i start something, i like committing to it.” if his words themselves aren’t meaningful enough, the soft look on his face is full of unmistakable love.

“you’re not just talking about wine,” at first, it’s a statement you speak, your gaze fixed. then, memories of your past hurt rush in and you finish with an uncertain, “are you?”

“i’m not,” his voice is hushed and you feel there isn’t a moment lost between when he says his words and when you hear them. you’re so close to him, in all meanings of the word. “do you still hate me?”

you’re a little stunned by the jarring question. “i didn’t hate you. really, it was… something internal. like a dilemma. a phase, almost? i don’t think i could hate you if i wanted to.”

“you think?” you can feel his words inside of yourself now, even though you doubt either of you have moved any closer to each other.

yeonjun’s heart is on fire, destructive but determined. his hand brushes back your hair. “you’re so pretty when you wear your hair down.”

you hide your face in your shoulder, away from him, flustered that his words have such an effect on you. you’ve been complimented before. with much more zest, with more elaboration. but this is different. you feel like yeonjun is holding you.

he chuckles, “are you okay?”

you pull yourself away, swallowing, but not making eye-contact with him yet. “that’s the first time you’ve called me pretty.”

“that’s the first time you’ve heard me calling you pretty,” he corrects you. his fingers are in your hair again, this time to make you look at him. “you should listen to my thoughts sometime.”

you laugh and he’s moving closer, both his hands coming to your face. your hands move from where they��ve been clasping the balcony railing for dear life and find yeonjun’s waist, silently beckoning him nearer.

when your noses touch, yeonjun hums, “i’m crazy for you, y/n.”

you want to chuckle at his silly phrasing but instead, you’re saying it back, “fuck, i’m the crazy one, yeonjun. i’ve—” you stop your words, suddenly hesitant.

but yeonjun is firm, his lips hovering over yours and his question will you kiss me? unanswered because you’re already kissing him when he asks you.

(this kiss is. . . not bad.)

—

EPILOGUE: A SELF-AWARE SLANDER OF SHORT STORIES

“so…” your voice struggles to stay stable as you prop yourself on your elbows, yeonjun’s arms never letting loose of your sides. “when you say you’re crazy, is it that you’re crazy for me or crazy because of me?”

yeonjun stops in the middle of the tantrum he’s throwing with his buried in your neck. he blows out air through his mouth and you giggle, your hands pulling him up by the hair. “answer me!”

he sighs, “i don’t know, babe. both? neither? either.”

“come on, there’s a fundamental difference between the two,” you whine, “am i a symptom of your craziness or the cause of it?” he stays motionless, lips pressing against your cheek. you add, “just so you know, there’s no right answer. i’m honored to be either.”

“god, i can’t believe you’re using your boyfriend as material that’s going to be read by your entire class. a class of pretentious, sleep-deprived kids. they’ll hate me, y/n.”

you groan, kissing yeonjun’s ear lightly, “not true! you’re a very cute boyfriend.”

“so you are using me for your creative writing class?”

you pause and yeonjun flops onto the bad, pouting and feigning a cold shoulder. “the audacity of women these days!”

“hey!” you pull him back into you, “i’ll have you know that my love language is turning people into literature.”

yeonjun’s pout is already fading when taehyun’s voice breaks into your room (you should probably re-inforce the rule about knocking now that there’s a half-naked man in your room more often than not). “that’s true. she’s already written a story about me.”

your boyfriend’s interest is piqued at this, his eyes jumping between taehyun and you. “what? really?? and you haven’t written about me?”

“i’m trying to! you’re not making it easy.”

“did you ask him all these questions when you wrote a whole story about him?” taehyun cackles in glee at yeonjun’s returning pout.

you roll your eyes, “yeonjunie, it was a short story— the most unromantic form of literature. i’m basically saying i would rather write a bunch of boring description than even think about having sex with him.”

“hmm, it seemed like a pretty enthusiastic piece to me,” taehyun supplies unhelpfully. you glare at him. if you weren’t in just your bra, you would’ve gotten up to shut the door in his face.

“babe, i’m having serious doubts—”

you quickly shut down yeonjun’s whining, “i want to write a poem about you, my love. that’s why i’m asking you so much. it takes a little more to be properly romantic! i want to be truthful.”

he hesitates and you kiss his nose to seal the deal. taehyun groans in defeat, “gross. i just came here to get your asses to brunch. hyuka’s brought mint chocolate snacks from home so we need someone to handle him, so please hurry,” he starts to close the door as he leaves, but stops when the two of you make no move to wake up, “and you’d better not start fucking now! nobody needs to hear that this early in the morning, especially not poor hyuka.”

you laugh into yeonjun’s chest as he shouts back comforting words to taehyun. his lips attach to your shoulder. “i love you, y/n. you’re the explanation for my craziness.”

you shift to look back at him, smile widening, “hm, that’s interesting. can i quickly write that down-? okay, okay, sorry, i was kidding, love, come back here!!”

—

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apas-95 · 8 months

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still very funny how the concept that the 'space force' was some creation of the ideological idiocy of donald trump has survived so long, even across administrations. which does make sense when you consider how many people have like, purposefully convinced themselves that its purpose is to try to launch space marines to the moon or something, rather than like. launching anti-satellite missiles in a conflict with china, and defending US military communications networks. it's like if people all misled themselves into thinking the US's global cyberwarfare campaigns were just a bunch of people trying to recreate the matrix because it let them get in a dig at the heckin Cheeto

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qqueenofhades · 9 months

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as a woc (who is south asian, so i share that with harris), it's deeply upsetting to me that......nothing she could do would be right. i see people wondering why she isn't doing more, but then she does something, and then those same people pick that thing apart and tear her to pieces and it really does go to show that nothing we ever do will be "right".

i have yet to see criticism of her specifically that doesn't boil down to racism or misogyny (or a combination of both), and it's frustrating, especially in leftist spaces, because i do want to think critically and have conversations about what she's doing right and what she (and the administration as a whole) could improve upon, but i feel like i can't start or participate in those conversations without dealing with that same racism + misogyny. and this isn't even getting into the gop, this is about people who call themselves progressive/leftist/whatever. so much effort goes into maintaining the idea that they're better than the right, but i don't see nearly as much effort put into.....being better tbh

Unfortunately, among all their other problems, Online Leftists are a) often just as likely to be racist and misogynist as the GOP, and b) to strenuously deny that they are, weaponize that language in bad faith against people or candidates they dislike, and otherwise parrot abstract "social justice" talking points and Progressive Jargon while being absolutely noxious to the real, actual people that are involved. They do, as you say, assume they are Morally Righteous, and then don't actually interrogate that or question it in any way. So.... yeah. Yeah, pretty much. As I've said before and will say again, they are an absolute failure as any kind of practical or effective opposing force to right-wing fascism, and often inadvertently or even deliberately enable it in deeply disappointing ways.

It's funny that in all my posts/answers on the topic, I stated multiple times that if people could provide me an actual reason that made empirical sense as to why they didn't like Kamala, I was happy to have that discussion. Instead I got a lot of weird angry asks from people clearly still trying to justify their Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome (I only answered one of them because I have better things to do with my life), accusing me of being "emotional," "angry," "trauma-dumping" and God knows what else. And like. I'm sorry that pointing out a clearly verifiable fact (misogyny is what doomed HRC, anti-Obama backlash/racism was what enabled Trump) triggered y'all to that degree, but I think that fact is pretty illuminating on its own. And no, actually, I don't have to "get over" HRC's loss or "just accept" that people had "reasons" (conveniently never articulated, but they were real! They totally weren't misogyny! PEOPLE HAD REAL REASONS FOR NOT LIKING HER WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME AND ACCEPT THAT!!!) for disliking her and/or not voting for her when her opponent was Donald F'n Trump. Like, I know they live in the magical realm of the Permanently Online where the real world suffers no consequences from their bullshit and the argument about why 2016 was not their fault changes daily, but that's not the case with us here on Earth. And yeah, we're pretty mad.

Kamala has, in my view, been doing a perfectly fine job as the vice president. She has been able to give a few powerful and relevant speeches about race relations, gun violence, abortion, and other topics. I occasionally see news articles from "anonymous sources" who "don't like her" or want to cause trouble for whatever reason, which I treat with the usual degree of skepticism that I employ when reading anything the mainstream media writes about Democrats (which is then repurposed and reused in the Online Leftists' "Democrats Terrible!" screeds in equally bad faith). Yet again, I repeat my offer for anyone who wants to complain about her for an actual and clearly articulated reason to explain what that reason is and why it's not a double standard, why it's not attributable to racism and misogyny (even and especially the unacknowledged sort), what they expect she should be doing differently, and why this is any kind of big deal for the actual mainstream electorate. But judging from previous experience, this will just trigger another round of anonymous WE HAVE GOOD REASONS FOR NOT LIKING HER!!! whines with cheese, and to that I say, yeah, don't even waste your time.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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reality-detective · 5 months

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SHADOW GAMES_

_It should be clear to you now that Vivek Romaswamy is running a shadow campaign for Donald Trump and military operations.

_ ( kash Patel intensionally placed VIVEK)

_it should be clear now that Elon Musk intentionally collapsed Ron Desantis election campaign. Desantis was forced to run by both white hats and blacks hats ( he's playing both sides) .... The idea behind the blackhats plan is for Desantis to endorse Nikki Haley for President..... But white hats have a plan to EXPOSE a massive corruption scandle against desantis connected to money laundering ( Epstein affiliated associates ) and more. After the EXPOSURE of Desantis his voters WILL endorse TRUMP_

_The DEEP STATE SHADOW CAMPAIGN>

BLACKROCK CIA IS BEHIND THE FUNDING OF NIKKI HALEY . > THE DEEP STATE IS PUTTING THEIR HOPES BEHIND HALEY and want to have Republican president in place.

.. But the [ ds] also want a Hollywood celebrity> The Rock to run ( he is a back up incase the Epstein EXPOSURE leads to cia. Military industrial complex system money laundering operations connected to Nikki Haley could bring her down)

The deep state are also pushing for Michelle Obama to come into the mix..

[ they] want to make sure they have several candidates in place.

____

WIRES>]; The CIA are trying to rally the youth and black communities to endorse a celebrity for president ( this will be The Rock) ....

_ Now you understand why KEVIN HART has been constantly co-starring with Dewayne Johnson the rock in movies together.

>>> The CIA. Caa intensionally planted Kevin Hart into Hollywood and comedy scene.

_ NOW_ White Hats have activated certain celebrities to go after exposing Kevin Hart as PLANT.

From Kat Williams to Power House Dave Chappelle are going after Oprah the cia occult operations several black celebrities and musicians are going to expose the Satanic industry. From Los Angeles to Middle America to New York City, the pedophilia corruption, sex extortion music industry to Satanic rituals is all going to collide with the EPSTEIN SAGA.

I have been telling you all these EVENTS were going to happen.. Now it's happening

.....

SHADOW GAMES _

BEHIND THE SCENES>]; THE USSF HAS THE MCAFEE [ KILLSWITCH], THE JULIAN ASSANGE [ KILLSWITCH] >

THE [ EPSTEIN KILLSWITCH]

_This means they have all the hidden keys that placed inside Internet Killswitch operations that holds all the evidence of the world satanic corruption of the CIA. Pentagon. Ex presidents. Celebrities and full world corruption connected to Israeli/ cia/ mi6 ELITES [ EPSTEIN] OPERATIONS.

PANIC INSIDE THE PENTAGON 🔥 AS THE USSF AQUIRE ALL THE KEYS!!!

(Cheyenne mountain. USSF space x/ RUSSIA INTEL/ ITALIAN INTEL/ WHITE HATS IN CHINA INTELLIGENCE

>>>> ALL HAVE COPIES OF THE BIDEN LAPTOP!!!!

and CIA Epstein corruption data in their own countries already since 2018.

SHADOW GAMES

_Countries across the world are getting ready for THE STORM _EVENTS

and arrest wars and know their own intelligence agencies are going to initiate the cyberwar blackouts.

No matter what happens.. Everything is heading to military intervention in all major countries. ( 11.3)

Mil.WIRES>]; U.S. CANADA. UK. AUSTRALIA NEW ZEALAND GERMANY FRANCE ITALY POLAND>>>ALL IN TALKS BEHIND THE SCENES TO INITIATE MARSHAL LAW PROTOCOLS AND MILITARY PROCEDURES AND COMMUNICATIONS <

Everyone is preparing for the incoming summer EXPOSURE of the planned PANDEMIC of 2021 and the full EXPOSURE of the death vaccines and full corruption linking military intelligence agencies and banks and leaders to the world pedophile extortion sex ring and money laundering ring.

- JULIAN ASSANGE 🤔

#pay attention #educate yourselves #educate yourself #knowledge is power #reeducate yourself #reeducate yourselves #think about it #think for yourselves #think for yourself #do your homework #do some research #do your own research #ask yourself questions #question everything #news #wikileaks #julian assange #you decide

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eelhound · 26 days

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"Nearly half of the US population uses TikTok. It’s the most downloaded app in the country and the world. And last Wednesday, President Joe Biden signed its ban into law.

Members of Congress backing the anti-TikTok bill from both sides of the aisle have tried to emphasize that it’s 'not a ban' — it’s a forced sale. The 'ban' requires Chinese tech company ByteDance, the owner of TikTok, to sell the app to a US-based company within twelve months or the app will be banned in the United States.

ByteDance has responded saying that it will refuse to sell, and that it will instead fight the ban in court. ByteDance believes it can win the court case, based on precedent from federal courts blocking an attempted ban in Montana in November 2023. Former president Donald Trump also tried to ban TikTok twice by executive order when he was in office; those efforts were struck down by the courts too.

Lawmakers are citing data privacy and national security as the primary concerns behind the ban. But others have been more explicit — they are worried about how the app is influencing Americans’ political views, particularly among young voters.

Discussion of the TikTok ban in Congress has been rife with red-baiting and anti-Chinese fearmongering. Senator Mark Warner, a Virginia Democrat, referred to TikTok as a 'Communist Party propaganda tool.' And Senator Pete Ricketts, a Nebraska Republican, said:

Pro-Palestinian and pro-Hamas hashtags are generating fifty times the views on TikTok right now. . . . These videos have more reach than the top ten US news websites combined. This is not a coincidence. The Chinese Communist Party is doing this on purpose.

The senator went on to blame TikTok and the Chinese government for the student protests that started at Columbia University and have since spread to dozens of college campuses across the country on TikTok and the Chinese government.

There is no concrete evidence supporting the idea that political ideas shared on TikTok are more progressive or pro-Palestine than what you find on other platforms or that it skews more progressive than the overall population — with nearly 70 percent of voters now supporting a cease-fire in Gaza. It’s unclear how TikTok’s algorithm handles political content. But one of lawmakers’ greatest concerns is that the platform has offered a new avenue for people to virally spread political messages outside of traditional media.

This is not to say that TikTok doesn’t pose data-privacy concerns. But as Paris Marx writes, TikTok’s opaque data-privacy practices are not specific to TikTok or China. TikTok is a private company. Like all profit-driven social media companies, US- and Chinese-owned alike, there are genuine concerns over data usage — but the TikTok ban won’t fix those.

'The US government’s desire to ban TikTok instead of taking industry-wide action is a good indication that its campaign isn’t really about national security or data protection,' Marx points out, 'but something much deeper: namely the preservation of American economic and geopolitical hegemony.'

In this regard, the federal government sees a lot to gain from banning TikTok. Asserting control over highly profitable Chinese tech companies will help US companies like Meta maintain dominance in the social media space, an important consideration given the United States’ growing Great Power rivalry with China. The ban may also allow the US government tighter control over media narratives, particularly around Israel’s increasingly unpopular war on Gaza and government repression of protests.

I’m a content creator on TikTok, alongside millions of others. TikTok has allowed me to reach millions of people to share ideas about movements for social and economic justice. Recently, I’ve covered the wave of student protests calling for a cease-fire in Gaza and university endowment divestment from weapons manufacturers and other financial ties to Israeli apartheid by interviewing students on the ground in New York City. If TikTok is banned, it means shutting down my voice and the voices of many others who are loudly opposing our government’s support for Israel and spreading awareness of the growing protest movement.

It’s unclear if the ban will be upheld in court. And if the forced sale is upheld, it’s also unclear if twelve months will be enough for a sale to make it through the legal and financial red tape. In any case, it will be at least a year before we see any changes to the app and its availability in the United States.

If the TikTok ban is successful, though, it will serve as a major blow to free speech without actually protecting users’ data. It will mean restricting access to news and political ideas simply because the federal government wants to suppress the ideas that are being shared and popularized on the platform — like opposition to US support for Israel’s genocide in Gaza."

- Caitlyn Clark, "The TikTok Ban Is an Egregious Assault on Free Speech." Jacobin, 29 April 2024.

#caitlyn clark #quote #quotations #tiktok ban #social media #free gaza #freedom of speech #free palestine #students for justice in palestine

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odinsblog · 1 year

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If you have any doubts that the phenomenon of Donald Trump was a long time a’coming, you have only to read a piece that Gore Vidal wrote for Esquire magazine in July 1961, when the conservative movement was just beginning and even Barry Goldwater was hardly a glint in Republicans’ eyes.

Vidal’s target was Paul Ryan’s idol, and the idol of so many modern conservatives: the trash novelist and crackpot philosopher Ayn Rand, whom Vidal quotes thusly:

“It was the morality of altruism that undercut America and is now destroying her.

“Capitalism and altruism are incompatible; they are philosophical opposites; they cannot co-exist in the same man or in the same society. Today, the conflict has reached its ultimate climax; the choice is clear-cut: either a new morality of rational self-interest, with its consequence of freedom… or the primordial morality of altruism with its consequences of slavery, etc.

“To love money is to know and love the fact that money is the creation of the best power within you, and your passkey to trade your effort for the effort of the best among men.

“The creed of sacrifice is a morality for the immoral…”

In most quarters, in 1961, this stuff would have been regarded as nearly sociopathic nonsense, but, as Vidal noted, Rand was already gaining adherents: “She has a great attraction for simple people who are puzzled by organized society, who object to paying taxes, who hate the ‘welfare state,’ who feel guilt at the thought of the suffering of others but who would like to harden their hearts.”

Because he was writing at a time when there was still such a thing as right-wing guilt, Vidal couldn’t possibly have foreseen what would happen: Ayn Rand became the guiding spirit of the governing party of the United States. Her values are the values of that party. Vidal couldn’t have foreseen it because he still saw Christianity as a kind of ineluctable force in America, particularly among small-town conservatives, and because Rand’s “philosophy” couldn’t have been more anti-Christian. But, then, Vidal couldn’t have thought so many Christians would abandon Jesus’ teachings so quickly for Rand’s. Hearts hardened.

The transformation and corruption of America’s moral values didn’t happen in the shadows. It happened in plain sight. The Republican Party has been the party of selfishness and the party of punishment for decades now, trashing the basic precepts not only of the Judeo-Christian tradition, but also of humanity generally.

Vidal again: “That it is right to help someone less fortunate is an idea that has figured in most systems of conduct since the beginning of the race.” It is, one could argue, what makes us human. The opposing idea, Rand’s idea, that the less fortunate should be left to suffer, is what endangers our humanity now. I have previously written in this space how conservatism dismantled the concept of truth so it could fill the void with untruth. I called it an epistemological revolution. But conservatism also has dismantled traditional morality so it could fill that void. I call that a moral revolution.

To identify what’s wrong with conservatism and Republicanism — and now with so much of America as we are about to enter the Trump era — you don’t need high-blown theories or deep sociological analysis or surveys. The answer is as simple as it is sad: There is no kindness in them.

(continue reading)

#politics #republicans #capitalism #ayn rand #libertarians #calvinism #kindness #selfishness #greed #donald trump #conservatism #neoliberalism #the cruelty is the point #reaganism #white america #gore vidal #ayn randroids

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crossroadsghost · 4 months

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fargo s5 details i have noticed on rewatch:

-munch's differences in body language/behavior/violence around men vs around women is so pronounced and tangible when you pay attention. even when he's supposed to be helping abduct dot, he hands the hammer off to donald instead of wielding it himself, and the only time in the rest of those scenes he ever touches her is when she's at the bottom of the stairs and he goes to pick her up. he kills the guard outside roy's house, but doesn't lay a finger on karen or the twins when he goes into their room. i can't actually think of any time he's violent towards women.

-munch's blood type is mentioned to be O negative, which is universal donor. fitting for a sin eater to have blood that can be exchanged to save anyone.

-sam spruell has such long eyelashes

-at the scene where ole munch is waiting at the gas station to kill gator's partner, the final lyrics of "this is halloween" to play are "i am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red/i am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair." given the visual emphasis on ole's teeth and hands, i assume it's meant to be a comparison to him

-one of the street signs dot rearranges is named nylund circle. rose nylund from the golden girls is supposed to be from minnesota. whether it was intentional or not, it made me giggle.

-subtitles say ole munch's original name was bryn.

-the symbol on ole munch's chest during his ritual looks like the Peorð/ᛈ symbol from the elder futhark, a rune that has unknown meaning. the rest of the symbols shown are invented, so this could be a coincidence.

-"ring the door bell pretending to be trick or treaters and grab whoever answers" is literally how they catch santa in the nightmare before christmas movie. i'm still not sure what they were driving at with so many TNBC references in this season.

-there's gotta be a reason danish has one eye and lorraine's husband is named wink, but i don't know what that reason is.

-crack theory time: danish is wayne's real father. wink is so busy drinking and playing with models he would never notice. danish refers to wayne as slugger, and wayne refers to scotty as slugger, which implies something. it would also explain some of danish's emotional investment in the family and willingness to try to save dot with or without permission from lorraine--it's not only lorraine's feelings he cares about. and it's only after lorraine finds out that danish disappeared on the ranch that she decides to go full tilt against roy--she wasn't willing to go that far for dot, but she is for danish? maybe this isn't a crack theory at all actually.

-donald trump in the chat on roy's livestream lmao

-it feels like the dugout is meant to be a metaphor for . . . violence? trauma? manhood, patriarchy? okay i'm not exactly sure, but it's where munch performs the ritual, where witt dies, where gator has to pass through to get home and injures himself as he goes, it's where roy escapes to and says, "my destiny is at the other end of that tunnel." there's some significance to it.

-i don't adhere to the theory that the ending is a dream/delusion/afterlife/whatever, but if it is, i think it starts in the moment when the fbi rolls up on dot as she's about to kill roy, not in the backseat of the fbi vehicle. IF i supported this theory i would say they shot dot and killed her because she was holding the gun, and everything after is unreal. but i don't really support that theory to begin with, so eh.

-lorraine occupies the same metaphorical-and-literal narrative space as munch, of being a device of debts paid and owed, of use and abuse through the concept of debt, but she exists at the other end of the scale. she represents the eternal "ruling class" in both a literal and metaphorical sense, just as munch represents an eternal "oppressed class" in both a literal and metaphorical sense; he is forced to take on the debts of others because he's powerless, lorraine claims the debts of others to be empowered by them. i don't think we're meant to see her as a redeemed girlboss; she's supposed to be an implacable force of nature, and sometimes awful people like roy get swept up in that tide too, but that doesn't mean she's on anyone's side but her own. it's just that now she sees dot as "belonging" to her, and she protects what belongs to her.

-when they're praying at the dinner table and the prayer ends munch does not let go of dot's hand; she has to pull her hand away from his. thisisfine.jpg

-a charting of ole munch's life: we know he was born in wales, but uses a scandinavian name and mentions crossing the sea in longboats. vikings did know how to travel by water from scandinavia to greenland to canada, but they had basically stopped doing this completely by the 1500s; idk if we're meant to believe ole hitched a ride on an ill fated expedition or what, but technically they did know how to get there, they just had given up on attempting to colonize it, so the timeline is a little wonky there. regardless of that, the indigenous groups he mentions are the cree, arapaho and tonkawa, which were primarily in canada, colorado, and oklahoma, respectively. judging by this, he left wales and traveled north to adopt a new identity in scandinavia (sin eaters were treated as pariahs in their communities, so that's presumably why he left), then at some point sailed across to canada, then traveled west across canada, then south through colorado, then on to oklahoma. the tonkawa were forced south into texas in the 1700s, but then were relocated back to oklahoma later; during the civil war they were heavily massacred, so it could be that is what he's referring to when he talks about "the cannons and the muskets," but the timeline on when he actually lived with them is wobbly too. it's all kinda vague and the timeline is a little weird but not unfeasible.

-all throughout the final scenes, ole refuses to eat or drink anything the lyons give him- he doesn't actually drink either the orange soda or the beer wayne gives him, and when he's describing the "sins of the rich," he pushes his untouched plate of chili away without tasting it. like maybe he's convinced this is all a big trick; that the last time people brought him into their home and gave him a plate of food, it condemned him. ergo, the biscuit is more than just a gesture of forgiveness from dot; for him, taking a bite was also a gesture of trust in her. ow oof my heart.

#television #fargo #fargo fx #fargo season 5

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coochiequeens · 27 days

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Another "male feminist" trying to mansplain feminism, on behalf of men in dresses.

By Julie Bindel APRIL 29, 2024

I am very familiar with men on the Left telling me I’m doing feminism wrong. The musician and activist Billy Bragg is just one in a long line of males telling me I don’t share their precious values. In an interview published yesterday, the double-denimed demigod was asked about his role in the debate on gender and single-sex spaces:

“My problem with people like [J.K.] Rowling, like Julie Bindel, is really who they are lined up with. [Rowling and Bindel] are people who I agree with about women’s rights. I agree with them about abortion. But we don’t agree on this.”

I can certainly say that Bragg and I will both support access to free and legal abortion, but I would imagine we hold these views for somewhat different reasons.

If there’s anything that benefits men, the likes of Bragg will declare it to be feminist. As my friend and comrade J.K. Rowling has pointed out, male Leftists tend to applaud prostitution and stripping, so long as women are doing it and men are in the driving seat. Surrogacy, lap dancing and slut marching are “empowering” activities — a word never ascribed to anything done by men. It is faux feminism for the boys.

Just like his bro Owen Jones, Bragg insists that trans women are women and, handily, this stance doesn’t seem to have any drawbacks for these men. They get cookies for being such great allies, and not an ounce of danger or inconvenience as a result.

Suggesting that silly women who object to men in women’s changing rooms, hospital wards and prisons have joined forces with the hard-Right is ludicrous. Left-wing feminists, such as myself and Rowling, have led the charge against gender ideology because we campaign against rape and domestic violence. For Bragg to bleat about how abortion rights and equal marriage are at risk as a result of these imagined alliances is a bit rich considering that he, as a straight man, needs neither.

Bragg doesn’t like the powerful, Right-wing men who agree with me and Rowling on the trans issue. The inconvenient truth is that neither Donald Trump nor Viktor Orbán would be au fait with feminist politics, but are each aware that there are only two sexes. If to Bragg that means I agree with those men, so be it.

Feminists — all women — have been deeply and profoundly betrayed by Left-wing men. They have preened and postured about being such good trans allies while we have been attacked, abused, harassed, libelled and shunned for standing up for women’s rights. They turned a blind eye when lesbians were told by transactivists that we are bigots for excluding men from our dating pool. These men clapped along as we were losing our jobs and reputations, agreeing with the zealots that we just needed to be more kind.

Men on the Left rarely prioritise women’s issues, and we are expected to dance to their tune in order to be deemed acceptable. As the late feminist author Andrea Dworkin wrote: “To Right-wing men, we are private property. To Left-wing men, we are public property.”

This problem spans many decades and continents. In 1964 Stokely Carmichael, a prominent Black Power activist, was asked about the role of women in the civil rights movement. He replied: “The only position for women in the movement is ‘prone’.” It is precisely because men on both the Left and the Right displayed such misogyny that the Women’s Liberation movement was founded in the Seventies. Bragg is a modern-day Carmichael, and men like him will always put men first, whether they claim to be women or not.

#Another man who supports abortion access but doesn't care about other women's issues #Andrea Dworkin was right #To right-wing men we are private property. To Left-wing men we are public property

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mariacallous · 3 months

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The second anniversary of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, on February 24th, and the continuing menace Vladimir Putin, Russia’s president, presents to Europe, were always going to overshadow this year’s Munich Security Conference. But as the annual gathering of bigwigs got under way, a series of additional blows fell. First came the death of Alexei Navalny, Russia’s foremost opposition leader, in a Siberian gulag on February 16th. The next day Ukraine’s army withdrew from the town of Avdiivka, handing Mr Putin his first military victory in almost a year. America’s Congress, meanwhile, showed no sign of passing a bill to dispense more military aid to Ukraine, which is starved of ammunition and therefore likely to suffer more setbacks on the battlefield. The auguries could scarcely have been more awful.

The deadlock in Congress reflects the baleful influence of Donald Trump, whose opposition to aid for Ukraine has cowed Republican lawmakers. It was the spectre of Mr Trump’s potential return to office in November’s presidential election that cast the darkest pall over Munich. A week earlier Mr Trump had explained what he would say to an ally in nato that had not spent as much as the alliance urges on defence and then suffered an invasion: “You’re delinquent? No, I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them [the invaders] to do whatever the hell they want.”

Combined harms

Russia’s ever-deepening belligerence, Ukraine’s deteriorating position and Mr Trump’s possible return to the White House have brought Europe to its most dangerous juncture in decades. The question is not just whether America will abandon Ukraine, but whether it might abandon Europe. For Europe to fill the space left by America’s absence would require much more than increased defence spending. It would have to revitalise its arms industry, design a new nuclear umbrella and come up with a new command structure.

In Munich the mood was fearful, but determined rather than panicked. American and European officials remain hopeful that more American munitions will eventually get to Ukraine, but they are also making contingencies. On February 17th Petr Pavel, the Czech president, said his country had “found” 800,000 shells that could be shipped within weeks. In an interview with The Economist Boris Pistorius, Germany’s defence minister, insisted that European arms production was increasing “as fast as possible” and said he was “very optimistic” that Europe could plug any gaps left by America.

Not everyone is so sanguine. If American aid were to evaporate entirely, Ukraine would probably lose, an American official tells The Economist. Mr Pistorius is correct that European arms production is rising fast; the continent should be able to produce shells at an annual rate of 1m-2m late this year, potentially outstripping America. But that may come too late for Ukraine, which needs some 1.5m per year according to Rheinmetall, a European arms manufacturer. A sense of wartime urgency is still lacking. European shell-makers export 40% of their production to non-EU countries other than Ukraine; when the European Commission proposed that Ukraine should be prioritised by law, member states refused. The continent’s arms firms complain that their order books remain too thin to warrant big investments in production lines.

A Ukrainian defeat would inflict a psychological blow on the West while emboldening Mr Putin. That does not mean he could take advantage right away. “There is no immediate threat to NATO,” says Admiral Rob Bauer, the head of NATO’s international military committee. Allies disagree over how long Russia would need to rebuild its forces to a pre-war standard, he says, and the timing depends in part on Western sanctions, but three to seven years is the range “a lot of people talk about”. The direction of travel is clear. “We can expect that within the next decade, NATO will face a Soviet-style mass army,” warned Estonia’s annual intelligence report, published on February 13th. The threat is not just a Russian invasion, but attacks and provocations which might test the limits of Article 5, NATO’s mutual-defence clause. “It cannot be ruled out that within a three- to five-year period, Russia will test Article 5 and NATO’s solidarity,” Denmark’s defence minister recently warned. But the concern is less the timing than the prospect of confronting Russia alone.

Change of station

Europe has thought about such a moment for years. In 2019 Emmanuel Macron, France’s president, told this newspaper that allies needed to “reassess the reality of what NATO is in the light of the commitment of the United States”. Mr Trump’s first term in office, in which he flirted with withdrawing from NATO and publicly sided with Mr Putin over his own intelligence agencies, served as a catalyst. The idea of European “strategic autonomy”, once pushed only by France, was embraced by other countries. Defence spending, which began rising after Russia’s first invasion of Ukraine in 2014, has increased dramatically. That year just three members of NATO met the alliance’s target of spending 2% of GDP on defence. Last year 11 countries did, ten of them in Europe (see chart 1). This year at least 18 of NATO’s 28 European members will hit the target. Europe’s total defence spending will reach around $380bn—about the same as Russia’s, after adjusting for Europe’s higher prices.

Those numbers flatter Europe, however. Its defence spending yields disproportionately little combat power, and its armed forces are less than the sum of their parts. The continent is years away from being able to defend itself from attack by a reconstituted Russian force. At last year’s summit, NATO leaders approved their first comprehensive national defence plans since the cold war. NATO officials say those plans require Europe to increase its existing (and unmet) targets for military capability by about a third. That, in turn, means Europe would have to spend around 50% more on defence than today, or about 3% of GDP. The only European members of NATO that currently reach that level are Poland and Greece, the latter flattered by bloated military pensions.

Anyway, more money is not enough. Almost all European armies are struggling to meet their recruitment targets, as is America’s. Moreover the rise in spending after 2014 delivered alarmingly little growth in combat capability. A recent paper by the International Institute of Strategic Studies (IISS), a think-tank in London, found that the number of combat battalions had barely increased since 2015 (France and Germany each added just one) or had even fallen, in Britain by five battalions. At a conference last year, an American general lamented that most European countries could field just one full-strength brigade (a formation of a few thousand troops), if that. Germany’s bold decision to deploy a full brigade to Lithuania, for instance, is likely to stretch its army severely.

Even when Europe can produce combat forces, they often lack the things needed to fight effectively for long periods: command-and-control capabilities, such as staff officers trained to run large headquarters; intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance, such as drones and satellites; logistics capabilities, including airlift; and ammunition to last for longer than a week or so. “The things that European militaries can do, they can do really well,” says Michael Kofman, a military expert, “but they typically can’t do a lot of them, they can’t do them for very long and they’re configured for the initial period of a war that the United States would lead.”

Poland is an instructive case. It is the poster boy for European rearmament. It will spend 4% of its GDP on defence this year, and splurges more than half of that money on equipment, far above NATO’s target of 20%. It is buying huge numbers of tanks, helicopters, howitzers and HIMARS rocket artillery—on the face of it, just what Europe needs. But under the previous government, says Konrad Muzyka, a defence analyst, it did so with little coherent planning and utter neglect of how to crew and sustain the equipment, with personnel numbers falling. Poland’s HIMARS launchers can hit targets 300km away, but its intelligence platforms cannot see that far. It relies on America for that.

One option would be for Europeans to pool their resources. For the past 16 years, for instance, a group of 12 European countries have jointly bought and operated a fleet of three long-range cargo aircraft—essentially a timeshare programme for airlift. In January Germany, the Netherlands, Romania and Spain teamed up to order 1,000 of the missiles used in the Patriot air-defence system, diving down the cost through bulk. The same approach could be taken in other areas, such as reconnaissance satellites.

The hitch is that countries with big defence industries—France, Germany, Italy and Spain—often fail to agree on how contracts should be split among their national arms-makers. There is also a trade-off between plugging holes quickly and building up the continent’s own defence industry. France is irked by a recent German-led scheme, the European Sky Shield Initiative, in which 21 European countries jointly buy air-defence systems, in part because it involves buying American and Israeli launchers alongside German ones. When Olaf Scholz, Germany’s chancellor, recently called for Europe to adopt a “war economy”, Benjamin Haddad, a French lawmaker in Emmanuel Macron’s Renaissance party, retorted, “It’s not by buying American equipment that we’re going to get there.” European arms-makers, he argued, will not hire workers and build production lines if they do not get orders.

These twin challenges—building up military capability and revitalising arms production—are formidable. Europe’s defence industry is less fragmented than many assume, says Jan Joel Andersson of the EU Institute for Security Studies in a recent paper: the continent makes fewer types of fighter jets and airborne radar planes than America, for instance. But there are inefficiencies. Countries often have different design priorities. France wants carrier-capable jets and lighter armoured vehicles; Germany prefers longer-range aircraft and heavier tanks. Europe-wide co-operation on tanks has consistently failed, writes Mr Andersson, and an ongoing Franco-German effort is in doubt.

The scale of the required changes raises broader economic, social and political questions. Germany’s military renaissance will be unaffordable without cutting other government spending or junking the country’s “debt brake”, which would require a constitutional amendment. Mr Pistorius says he is convinced that German society backs higher defence expenditure, but acknowledges, “We have to convince people that this might have an impact on other spending.” Thierry Breton, the EU commissioner in charge of defence, has proposed a €100bn ($108bn) defence fund to boost arms production. Kaja Kallas, Estonia’s prime minister, backed by Mr Macron and other leaders, has proposed that the EU fund such defence spending with joint borrowing, as it did the recovery fund it established during the covid-19 pandemic—a controversial idea among the thriftiest member-states.

Perhaps the hardest capability for Europe to replace is the one everyone hopes will never be needed. America is committed to using its nuclear weapons to defend European allies. That includes both its “strategic” nuclear forces, those in submarines, silos and bombers, and the smaller, shorter-range “non-strategic” B61 gravity bombs stored in bases across Europe, which can be dropped by several European air forces. Those weapons have served as the ultimate guarantee against Russian invasion. Yet an American president who declined to risk American troops to defend a European ally would hardly be likely to risk American cities in a nuclear exchange.

During Mr Trump’s first spell in office, that fear revived an old debate over how Europe might compensate for the loss of the American umbrella. Britain and France both possess nuclear weapons. But they have only 500 warheads between them, compared with America’s 5,000 and Russia’s nearly 6,000 (see chart 2 ). For advocates of “minimum” deterrence, that makes little difference: they think a few hundred warheads, more than enough to wipe out Moscow and other cities, will dissuade Mr Putin from any reckless adventure. Analysts of a more macabre bent think such lopsided megatonnage, and the disproportionate damage which Britain and France would suffer, give Mr Putin an advantage.

Nuclear posturing

This is not just a numerical problem. British nuclear weapons are assigned to NATO, whose Nuclear Planning Group (NPG) shapes policy on how nuclear weapons should be used. The deterrent is operationally independent: Britain can launch as it pleases. But it depends on America for the design of future warheads and draws from a common pool of missiles, which is kept on the other side of the Atlantic. If America were to sever all co-operation, British nuclear forces “would probably have a life expectancy measured in months rather than years”, according to an assessment published ten years ago. In contrast, France’s deterrent is entirely home-grown and more aloof from NATO: uniquely among NATO’s members, France does not participate in the NPG, though it has long said that its arsenal, “by its existence”, contributes to the alliance’s security.

Within NATO, nuclear issues were long on the “back burner”, says Admiral Bauer. That has changed in the past two years, with more and wider discussions on nuclear planning and deterrence. But NATO’s plans hinge on American forces; they do not say what should happen if America leaves. The question of how Britain and France might fill that gap is now percolating. On February 13th Christian Lindner, Germany’s finance minister and head of the pro-business Free Democratic Party, called in the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, a German newspaper, for a “rethink” of European nuclear arrangements. “Under what political and financial conditions would Paris and London be prepared to maintain or expand their own strategic capabilities for collective security?” he asked. “And vice versa, what contribution are we willing to make?”

Such musings have a long history. In the 1960s America and Europe pondered a “multilateral” nuclear force under joint control. Today, the idea that Britain or France would “share” the decision to use nuclear weapons is a non-starter, writes Bruno Tertrais, a French expert involved in the debate for decades, in a recent paper. Nor is France likely to join the NPG or assign its air-launched nuclear forces to NATO, he says. One option would be for the two countries to affirm more forcefully that their deterrents would, or at least could, protect allies. In 2020 Mr Macron stated that France’s “vital interests”—the issues over which it would contemplate nuclear use—“now have a European dimension” and offered a “strategic dialogue” with allies on this topic, a position he reiterated last year.

The question is how this would be made credible. In deterrence, the crucial issue is how to make adversaries (and allies) believe that a commitment is real, rather than a cheap diplomatic gesture that would be abandoned when the stakes become apocalyptic. Mr Tertrais proposes a range of options. At the tame end, France could simply promise to consult on nuclear use with its partners, time permitting. More radically, if the American umbrella had gone entirely, France could invite European partners to participate in nuclear operations, such as providing escort aircraft for bombers, joining a task force with the eventual successor to the Charles de Gaulle aircraft-carrier, which can host nukes, or even basing a few missiles in Germany. Such options might ultimately require “a common nuclear planning mechanism”, he says.

Mr Lindner’s talk of a European deterrent was largely dismissed by German officials who spoke to The Economist in Munich. But the nuclear question, involving as it does the deepest questions of sovereignty, identity and national survival, points to the vacuum that would be left if America abandons Europe. “There will be a European nuclear doctrine, a European deterrent, only when there are vital European interests, considered as such by the Europeans, and understood as such by others,” pronounced François Mitterrand, France’s president, in 1994. “We are far away from there.” Today Europe is closer, but not close enough. The same doubt that drove France to develop its own nuclear forces in the 1950s—would an American president sacrifice New York for Paris?—is replicated within Europe: would Mr Macron risk Toulouse for Tallinn?

The seemingly dry question of military command and control brings such issues to the fore. NATO is a political and diplomatic body. It is also a formidable bureaucracy that spends €3.3bn annually and operates a complex network of headquarters: a Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe (SHAPE) in Belgium, three big joint commands in America, the Netherlands and Italy, and a series of smaller ones below. These are the brains that would run any war with Russia. If Mr Trump withdrew from NATO overnight, Europeans would have to decide how to replace them.

An “EU-only” option would not work, says Daniel Fiott of the Elcano Royal Institute, a Spanish think-tank. In part that is because the EU’s own military headquarters is still small, inexperienced and incapable of overseeing high-intensity war. In part it is because this would exclude Britain, Europe’s largest defence spender, as well as other non-EU NATO members such as Canada, Norway and Turkey. An alternative would be for Europeans to inherit the rump NATO structures and keep the alliance alive without America. Whatever institution was chosen, it would have to be filled with skilled officers. Officials at SHAPE acknowledge that much of the serious planning falls on just a few countries. Among Europeans, says Olivier Schmitt, a professor at the Centre for War Studies in Denmark, only “the French, the Brits and maybe the Germans on a good day can send officers able to plan operations at the division and corps level”, precisely those needed in the event of a serious Russian attack.

The question of command is also intrinsically political. Mr Fiott doubts that EU member states could agree on a figure equivalent to the Supreme Allied Commander Europe, the alliance’s top general and, by custom, always an American. That epitomises how American dominance in Europe has suppressed intra-European disputes for decades, as captured in the cold-war quip that NATO’s purpose was to keep “the Americans in, the Russians out and the Germans down”. Sophia Besch of the Carnegie Endowment observes caustically that Europeans still defer to America on the biggest questions of European security: “My impression is that Americans often think more strategically about EU membership for Ukraine than many Europeans.” She sees little hope that Europe will bring bold new ideas to this year’s NATO summit in Washington in July, which will mark the alliance’s 75th anniversary.

It is certainly possible that the shock to European security will be less dramatic than feared. Perhaps America will pass an aid package. Perhaps Europe will scrape together enough shells to keep Ukraine solvent. Perhaps, even if Mr Trump wins, he will keep America in NATO, claiming credit for the fact that a majority of its members—and all of those along the eastern front, and thus most in need of protection—are no longer “delinquent”. Some European officials even muse that Mr Trump, who is fond of nuclear weapons, might take drastic steps such as meeting Poland’s demand to be included in nuclear-sharing arrangements. For the moment, there are still intense debates over how far Europe should hedge against American abandonment. Jens Stoltenberg, the secretary-general of NATO, has repeatedly warned that the idea is futile. “The European Union cannot defend Europe,” he said on February 14th. “Eighty per cent of NATO’s defence expenditures come from non-EU NATO allies.”

Forward-operating haste

Advocates of European self-sufficiency retort that building up a “European pillar” within NATO serves a triple purpose. It strengthens NATO as long as America remains, shows that Europe is committed to share the burden of collective defence and, if necessary, lays the groundwork in case of a future rupture. Higher defence spending, more arms production and more combat-capable forces will be necessary even if America remains in the alliance and under current war plans. Moreover, even the most Europhile of presidents could be forced to divert forces away from Europe if, for instance, America were to be pulled into a big war in Asia.

The difficult questions around command and control, and its implications for political leadership, are probably here to stay. In the worst case of a complete American exit from NATO, a “messy” solution would be needed, says Mr Fiott, perhaps one that would bring Europe’s overlapping institutions into greater alignment. He suggests some radical options, such as giving the EU a seat on the North Atlantic Council, NATO’s main decision-making body, or even a fusion of the posts of NATO secretary-general and president of the European Commission. Such notions still seem otherworldly. But less so with every passing week.

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bighermie · 10 months

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MUST WATCH: Pres. Trump Amplifies Dr. Jan Halper-Hayes' Claims in Truth Social Post - Suggests Space Force Has Evidence of 2020 Election Fraud: "Trump Knew if He Presented Any of the Goods Early On, We'd Have a CIVIL WAR" | The Gateway Pundit | by Jim Hᴏft

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steelbluehome · 3 days

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"Stan signed on years before financing came together . . .“It was a long, arduous process, and to be honest, I just didn’t know if I could do it,”

"It’s such a risky role, and Sebastian is fearless. He just did whatever he had to do to become this person.” - Gabriel Sherman, writer

Vanity Fair

In The Apprentice, Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong Peer Into the Dark Heart of Donald Trump (click for article)

Before Trump was Trump, he was a young striver taken under the wing of Roy Cohn. The Apprentice dramatizes their sinister bond: “I think of it as a love story, really,” Strong tells Vanity Fair.

BY DAVID CANFIELD

MAY 16, 2024

After he was cast as Roy Cohn in The Apprentice, Jeremy Strong dove in head first—as he tends to do. The Emmy winner devoured books about the ruthless fixer, watched and read his many colorful interviews, and even listened to raw tapes from a lauded Esquire profile to perfect Cohn’s vocal patterns. He went method on the set—all the better to ad-lib opposite Sebastian Stan’s Donald Trump as the actors traced the nefarious bond that came to shape a city, and maybe a nation. “We did a lot of improvising, which in this case had to be deeply informed,” Strong says. “We had a lot of latitude and freedom to play and take chances.”

All in all, Strong was following his usual process. Yet The Apprentice felt different—unusually difficult to shake off. “I’d go home by myself to the hotel room, and the real-world ramifications of the things that I was espousing and inculcating in Donald Trump really, really shook me,” Strong tells me. “It was a disturbing, upsetting place to be—that heart of darkness.”

Director Ali Abbasi plunges us right into that space in The Apprentice (premiering Monday at the Cannes Film Festival 2024), his provocative examination of the ways Cohn shaped Trump into the infamous politician he would become. But the last thing Abbasi wanted to make was a polemical, election-year warning. The Iranian-born director, best known for critical successes Border and Holy Spider, instead fashioned a gritty, ’70s-New-York-set indie thriller, bringing an outsider’s perspective to iconic—and in many corners, despised—American figures and contextualizing them through a kinetic cinematic lens.

“We wanted to do a punk rock version of a historical movie, which meant that we needed to keep a certain energy, a certain spirit—[not] get too anal about details and what’s right and what’s wrong,” Abbasi says. “America is a country…but it’s also an empire. I was more preoccupied with the empire part of it. For whoever has lived in the Middle East, the whole image of America is someone who meddles and moves peoples and forces and governments around in that region that seems to have unlimited force.”

In other words, America is a lot like Cohn, whom Strong embodies with a brooding, towering menace. Decades after becoming notorious for prosecuting Julius and Ethel Rosenberg—ultimately resulting in their execution—his reputation precedes him. Cohn knows everyone, wins at any cost, bullies his way past any obstacle, and manipulates both the truth and lies as he sees fit. If that sounds a lot like modern-day Trump, well, he had to learn it somewhere.

1970s Trump is far less assured, striving to break out of his father’s shadow and sweatily desperate to mingle in influential circles. When he and Cohn lock eyes for the first time, the film’s score pitches toward high noir. This is fate: theirs, and perhaps, ours. A few scenes later, Cohn has agreed to represent Trump. In real-world terms, it’s hard to overstate the implications of that decision.

“This movie at its core has a Midnight Cowboy arc to it,” Strong says. “I think of it as a love story, really. It’s a chaste love story between a teacher and a pupil—these two men from the boroughs who aspired to Fifth Avenue.” He later considers Cohn within another metaphor: “He’s like a heart-of-darkness heart donor—and the heart got transplanted to Donald Trump.”

Depending on how he chooses to look at it, screenwriter Gabriel Sherman started working on The Apprentice either 20-ish years ago, or around 2017. Sherman, who is now a Vanity Fair special contributor, launched his career as a reporter at the New York Observer in the early 2000s, covering real estate. Trump emerged as a surprisingly reliable source. “It was just amazing that he was supposedly a billionaire, but if I’d call his office, within 10 minutes he would immediately call back,” Sherman tells me.

He continued to cover the man who’d go on to host his own hit TV series, naturally named The Apprentice, up through his defiantly successful presidential campaign. But as Sherman immersed himself in Trumpworld, one particular theme kept coming up in his reporting.

“I kept hearing people who had known Donald since the ’80s say something like, ‘Well, he’s just using all of the things that Roy taught him,’” Sherman says. “All of the phrases: It’s going to be amazing. Believe me. It came to me in a flash.” He wrote a treatment, then script drafts under the supervision of executive producer Amy Baer, but found Hollywood less than eager to jump on a psychologically intense Trump drama so early in his presidency. (In the meantime, Sherman wrote on Showtime’s The Loudest Voice, adapted from his Roger Ailes–focused book of the same name.) So they waited, and pondered the best way to make the movie once its time finally arrived.

“We wanted a non-American director, because non-American filmmakers tend to have an extraordinary lens through which they view American culture,” says Baer, citing Midnight Cowboy as an example. “The first time Ali and I spoke, he cited Stanley Kubrick’s film Barry Lyndon, which I thought was a brilliant and unexpected comp for this movie—a social climber who absorbs the affectations of the people and cultures around him because he himself stands for nothing.”

While writing, Sherman had ’70s New York classics on his mind—Dog Day Afternoon, Taxi Driver, and Network—while Stan says he honed this particular take on Trump through Abbasi’s references to Midnight Cowboy and Boogie Nights. Stan signed on years before financing came together (in a Canadian, Danish, and Irish coproduction). “It was a long, arduous process, and to be honest, I just didn’t know if I could do it,” the actor says. “I just scoured the internet and everything I could find…all around the time period that the movie was taking place. I watched everything.”

There were a million directions Stan could’ve gone in—and that’s also true for both Strong and Oscar nominee Maria Bakalova, who does savvy work in the film as Trump’s first wife, Ivana Trump. As the SAG-AFTRA strike delayed filming—the production eventually secured an interim agreement with the guild—Bakalova started growing and manicuring huge, long red nails. “I usually don’t really wear a lot of makeup,” she cracks. “This changed my personality!”

Abbasi describes their collaboration as constant and thorough. “We were looking at videos of Donald Trump at different ages, talking about his way of walking, talking, speaking, eating—everything.” Stan’s take on Trump, Sherman says, “feels like the person that I know, and it has nothing to do with the person we see on TV…. It’s such a risky role, and Sebastian is fearless. He just did whatever he had to do to become this person.”

“We realized that if we get too close, we’re in Saturday Night Live territory. But if we get too far away, you don’t really feel it,” Abbasi says. They achieved a middle ground by avoiding any biopic gloss: “This is not a movie where people are supposed to look good.” The makeup and hair are meticulous in their glaring imperfections, reinforcing Abbasi’s focus on physical decay and patchwork: “These people are some of the most powerful people in New York society at the time,” says Abbasi. Yet “Roy’s face looks strange, gray, brownish, his eyes are bloodshot, his forehead is shiny. Donald has strange teeth and looks unhealthy.”

Each portrayal has its own curious empathy. Stan charts Trump’s descent into power-driven madness subtly, emphasizing his relative humanity and emotional range before hitting nightmarishly familiar beats later in the film. As he gains influence and emerges as a dominant cultural force, Trump all but abandons Cohn, who’s not-so-secretly dying from HIV-AIDS.

Unlike, say, Al Pacino’s loud, flamboyant take on Cohn in Angels in America, Strong’s approach is mournful. “I’ll say unequivocally that he’s the most fascinating person I’ve ever studied,” Strong says. “I found myself moved by the arc of the character when he got sick. Someone who has lived in denial of so much, suddenly facing the end, and the searing regret and primal pain of that for someone who’s done so much damage. I don’t think he particularly felt much remorse, but he was a person.”

Ivana, meanwhile, acts as the initial wedge between the two men. Bakalova connected with her story, as a headstrong immigrant thrust into a dizzying, at times brutal world of celebrity and wealth. “I wanted to see what she saw in him, why she got impressed by him,” she says. The film doesn’t paint Ivana as a victim, even as it bluntly depicts the darkest moments of her marriage to Trump. “I keep questioning myself: ‘How did she agree to that?’ But maybe she knew what she was stepping into,” Bakalova says. “It’s another side of her being intelligent—somebody that I can, of course, criticize in moments, and also empathize with.”

“People think of Trump as this kind of fully formed tabloid figure—they think of the person they see at the rallies giving all these unhinged speeches,” Sherman says. “But the Trump of the ’70s was a very different person. While he was aggressive and he was ambitious, he did not know how to project power the way he does today. We need to understand how people like Cohn and Trump are able to wield power and manipulate the truth and create their own reality through deception. That’s a universal story.”

This is but one answer to the question looming around The Apprentice: Why make a Trump movie, and why now? He’s been sucking the oxygen out of Hollywood for going on a decade; even now, his fraught reelection campaign is moving forward while he stands criminal trial. But both Sherman and Abbasi emphasize they wanted to “strip politics” from their movie, to craft a dark character study that speaks to a larger, darker system of power in the US.

It may be difficult for viewers to remove the political context, especially as the movie teases the Trump phenomenon that will emerge out of this period—the absurdist characters now in his orbit who previously circled Cohn, the now groan-inducing catchphrases packaged over decades. At a press conference on Tuesday, Cannes’s jury president Greta Gerwig was asked about her ability to “objectively” assess the film as an American woman, and said, “I try to come to every film that we see with an open mind and an open heart, and willing to be surprised…. I don’t want to make any assumptions about what it is.”

The filmmakers hope general audiences adopt a similar attitude. There are thorny ideas and bold arguments in The Apprentice that will stick with you. The same goes for the characters, who are simultaneously vile and sad and slightly silly. “I’m a very all-or-nothing kind of person when it comes to the work stuff,” Stan says. “It’s hard for me to go with one foot in and one foot out.”

Stan spent much of production wondering what exact tone they’d land on, given the latitude they had with the script. That spontaneity informed the final product. “The shoot was pretty ride-or-die. It was fast. We didn’t have a lot of money,” Strong says. “You can’t imagine a bigger limb to go out on for either of us. I think we both felt that.”

#the apprentice #sebastian stan #jeremy strong #ali abbasi #maria bakalova #donald trump #roy cohn #ivana trump

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