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writing-and-wondering · 2 years

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You’re a Wonder

Part 4

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Rooster x Kazansky!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of death, Character death, Flashbacks in italics

Request: Nahh

Word Count: 10.9k

Synopsis: Training continues for the Uranium Mission, but Y/n “Wonder” Kazansky still has to face the past before truly becoming apart of the team that is being built for this so called “Miracle Mission”.

A/n: Hello !! Wow, it's been a bit since the last one, sorry about that. But all your support and feedback has just been so awesome and so appreciated, thank you !!! You all are phenomenal <3

Your head slips off of your hand and just about slams into the table before you jerk back upright. Blinking a couple of times, you sniff as you stare at the table in front of you that is littered with the notebooks you were meant to be studying. Rubbing at your face, you groan as your fingers run across the indent your pencil had left from where it was clasped in the hand you were leaning on.

A chuckle from across the table brings your eyes over to Comet, who is trying, and failing, to hide his laugh behind his hand. You glare at him half heartedly before rubbing at your eyes.

“Enjoy your rest, sleeping beauty?” Comet asks once he recovers from his giggle fest.

“I didn’t mean to do that.” You mutter as you stifle a yawn.

Comet rolls his eyes before closing his textbook, “I think we should call it.”

“What? But-” You start but Comet is already shaking his head at you, “Dude, it’s like four in the morning. Plus, you just about gave yourself a concussion from almost slamming head first into the table because you fell asleep on your goddamn pencil.”

You lean back in your seat with a groan as he continues, “It’s bedtime, Wonder.”

“You sound like my dad.” You state, but you move to pack up your array of books and highlighters anyway. Comet shrugs as he does the same, “Someone here should.”

“You idolize him too much.”

Comet sighs, “Isn’t that the dream.”

“Shut up.” You laugh as you throw a crumpled up piece of paper at him. He just smiles and swats it off its path towards his face before adjusting his glasses.

The two of you are just about finished shoving your things into your bags when your stomach growls, at the same time as Comet’s. You look up and share a wide eyed look with your friend before the two of you burst out laughing.

“You think we should make a stop at the mess hall?” You ask as you sling your bag over your shoulder. Comet nods quickly, “Mhm, good idea.”

Neither of you waste anytime rushing down the hall in the direction of some late night snacks. There’s a moment of silence where you both are just grabbing whatever catches your eye.

As you settle down at a table by the window, Comet lets out a sigh, “Bless whoever’s idea it was to leave the hall open all the time.”

You nod, “Our savior, whoever it was.” Comet chuckles before digging into his selection, you doing the same.

After a moment, you look up and notice Comet fiddling with his class ring as he chews on the twizzler hanging from his mouth. He catches you staring and bites off on the candy, “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot recently...”

“That’s dangerous.” You comment, eyebrows raised. He flicks you a glare, to which you toss a fruit snack at him, “What about, Coms?”

Comet leans back in his seat, “About graduation, I guess.”

Nodding, you sip on the straw of your juice box, watching as he frowns and fidgets with his granola bar wrapper, “I just don’t want things to change, you know?”

You stare at him for a second, before sitting up straight and quickly saying, “They won’t.”

He smiles a little at you, “They will and you know it.”

“Well...” You start, pausing to think for a moment, “Not that much. We’ll all still be a team.”

Comet hums in agreement, “Do you think we’ll still be able to fly with Ace and Ghost?”

“Of course! We’re inseparable and everyone knows how well we work together.” You lean forward and place your hand over his to get it to stop tapping the table nervously, “Like I said, we’re a team.”

He shrugs, “Still worries me that we’ll drift apart.”

“Unlikely. This isn’t high school, Coms.” You scoff slightly, “I don’t even think we could, at this point. Not after everything we’ve done together, it’s just not possible.”

Looking up at you, Comet grins a little, “You sound so sure.”

“That’s because I am.” You squeeze his hand reassuringly, “But seriously, It’ll be fine.”

You lean back in your seat and pop another fruit snack into your mouth, “Besides, you’ll always have me.”

You watch as his eyebrows draw together as he blinks at you, “Promise?”

“Promise. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

He laughs, “Yeah, and why would I want to get rid of the pilot who has made my heart fall to my ass more times than I can count because of her flying.”

You gasp at him, “Well by all means if you want a different pilot then I’m sure the admiral would happily make a switch-”

“No, no, I didn’t say that-” He starts but you’re still going, “I mean it would certainly save them a lot of trouble, considering what we put them through-”

“No! No, you’re mine.” Comet is waving his hand sporadically to get you to stop, “We fly together, it’s what we do. You and me.”

You grab his raised hand and squeeze it, “Damn right.”

Comet’s shoulder slump with relief as he squeezes your hand too before dropping it. Clearing his throat, he smiles, “I am excited, though. For what’s to come, that is.”

“Me too!” You agree, bouncing in your seat a little.

“Like shit, it’s crazy to think that graduation is right around the corner. I still feel like we’re a bunch of first year cadets.” Comet is staring at the ceiling, his hand waving around as he speaks.

“God, don’t I know it.” You say, shaking your head in disbelief.

He laughs, “We really walked in here having no clue what was going to happen.”

“Nope, just a bunch of babies.”

“And now we’re graduating! What the hell, where did the time go?” Comet asks, looking at you with wide eyes.

Chuckling, you let out a gasp as you point at his hand, “And you’re getting married!” Comet beams at the fact as he looks down at his ring.

You hold your hand out, “Lemme see the ring.”

“You’ve seen it like fifty times already.” He says to you, twisting the band on his finger. You groan, “I don’t care, it’s gorgeous. Let me see.”

Comet rolls his eyes but still dramatically holds his hand out towards you, to which you gladly take and stare at the ring, “Wow, it’s still so pretty every time.” You gush, “Toby did such a good job.”

“He did, didn’t he? It’s made of sea glass too, like dude, I didn’t even know rings could be made out of that.” Comet says excitedly, his face quite literally glowing from just talking about his fiancé.

You squeeze his hand before giving it back to him, “No kidding.”

Comet admires his ring for a second longer before smiling at you, “Oh my gosh, I can’t wait for you to be my best man at my wedding.”

Your eyes go wide, “Is Toby okay with that?”

“Are you serious? The man adores you.” He says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “If I weren’t marrying him, I’d be worried about which one of us he’d pick.” Then a smug grin grows on his face as he leans back in his seat, motioning to himself, “Good think he likes this di-”

“Dude, he’s not even my type.” You interrupt him, your voice flat.

Comet looks at you knowingly, “Oh yes, I’m quite aware of your type.”

You give him a confused look, “I haven’t dated since before I met you, how would you even know my type?”

“Because I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” Comet says, pointing two fingers at his face.

Leaning forward on your arms, you cock your head to the side, “Really? And what would it be then?”

Comet mirrors you, “Oh, you know... Tan skin, curly brown hair, whiskey eyes...” He fans his fingers across his upper lip, “A mustache...”

You choke on air, “Bradshaw?”

Nodding, Comet wags his finger at you, “Don’t act so surprised, you’re literally in love with the man!”

“I am not-”

“Oh, have pity on my poor heart.” Comet groans as he clasps his hands over his chest dramatically, “I know what love is, and baby you are deep in it.”

Your mouth falls open, “No. Not with Rooster, no way.”

“Denial is bad for your health.”

“It’s not denial! It’s the truth, I have no feelings for him.” You state, slamming your hand on the table.

Comet stares at your hand for a second before leaning forwards, “You sit on a throne of lies.”

“There are no lies!” You shout exasperatedly, crossing your arms. Leaning back, Comet shakes his head, “Boo, you whore.”

You point your finger at him, “Don’t you quote Mean Girls at me, I’m serious. There’s nothing going on- how could there be?”

“Uh, maybe because when you two are together it’s like you’re the only ones in the room?” Comet deadpans.

“Well, yeah! That’s bound to happen, I’ve known him since-” You pause to think, “Since forever!”

“And you’ve been in love with him for how long?” Comet asks, eyes wide.

“Never!”

Rolling his eyes, Comet waves you off, “Mhm, sure. Well, I’ll be sure to put in how much I had to endure before you two finally got together in my speech at your wedding.”

You just stare at him with your mouth hanging open in shock, “There won’t be a wedding.”

“Not yet.” He winks at you.

“Comet, I swear.-”

“Hey!” He stops you, “They didn’t name me the best matchmaker in high school and dedicate a whole page in the year book to show all the couples I got together for nothing!”

“I don’t- wait. You were named best matchmaker?” You ask, curiosity throwing off from your annoyed confusion at Comet’s proclamations.

Comet nods, “Yeah, they gave me a whole cupid’s bow and everything.”

“Oh, cool.”

“It was yeah, came with heart arrows even.” He agrees, mimicking the motion of firing off a bow and arrow.

“Aw, that’s really nice.” You hum, “Maybe they should’ve given you the callsign Cupid.”

Comet’s head bobs up and down excitedly, “That’s what I’ve been saying!”

“But, that doesn’t mean you’re right about me and Bradley.” You say sternly, arms crossed atop the table.

With a sigh, Comet holds his hands up in surrender, “Alright, but I know a love match when I see one.” He points at you, “And I am never wrong.”

“Well there’s a first for everything, my friend.” You say sweetly.

“I’m never wrong.” He repeats quickly.

You just shake your head, “Fine, keep your suspicions, but if you even think about mentioning this again I will throw up on you.”

Comet makes a face of disgust, “Ew, no. No, you know I can’t do vomit.”

“Neither can I, but that’s just how far I’ll go because of how revolting it is.” Your voice is quiet and firm as you speak, complete certainty drenching your words.

Blinking at you with almost a look of pity, Comet shakes his head, “You’re going to feel a whole hurting wave of shock when you realize how wrong you are.”

“Oh, I’m gonna-”

Comet shoots backwards, his hands out in front of him, “No, no! No, I was kidding- don’t do the thing!”

You just fall back in your chair laughing, your hands clutching your stomach. Comet’s mouth falls open, “Oh, you bitch.”

Still laughing, you lean forward and hold your hand out for him, “Okay, okay. Truce?”

He eyes it for a second before shaking it, “Truce.”

You smile before glancing out the window and gasping, the sound making Comet jump a little, “What?” There’s panic in his voice but once he follows your gaze he lets out an, “Ohhhh.”

Looking out the window, you stare at the changing colors of the sky as the sun rises. Snapping back to Comet, you tap your hands excitedly on the table, “Oh, you know what we should do?”

Looking at you with confusion, Comet shakes his head.

“We should go to the roof and watch the sunrise.” You say simply, pointing to the sky.

He gives you a look, “It’s freezing out!”

“Wear a coat!” You’re already standing and grabbing your bag, “C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

Comet looks out the window again before giving in, “Okay, okay- but we gotta bring the others too.”

You beam, “Yes! I’ll get Ace, you get the boys- oh, and bring your camera!”

“Already ahead of you, hurry before we miss it!” Comet yells as he takes off running towards the men’s dorms. You do the same towards the women’s.

Mere minutes later you’re shaking Ace’s shoulder, who grumbles at being woken up.

“Come on, come on!” You whisper-yell at her as you shrug on your coat and grab you hat. She groans, squinting at you, “Dude, it’s like 5am?”

You toss her coat to her, “I know, but you gotta come see the sunrise.”

At her look of “Seriously?” You sigh, “The boys are coming. It’ll be fun!”

Due to your very obvious excitement and how much Ace loves you, she eventually obliges. Now the two of you are hurrying up the stairs to the roof, clad in your coats and fuzzy hats.

You hear clattering behind you and bend over the railing to see the boys not too far below. Cupping your hand over your mouth, you yell down to them, “Hurry up or we’ll miss it!”

You can’t help but laugh as they begin running, tripping over each other in their haste. Ace grabs your arm and pulls you away from the railing and towards the doors.

The second you two bust through them you’re met with the icy chill of the air, the sudden coldness practically smacking you in the face.

“Oh, shit. That’ll wake you up.” Ace says with a chuckle, her breath coming out in a little cloud. You just grin and pull your hat down over your ears.

“We made it!” You turn towards the doors and hurry out of the way as Ghost just about falls onto the roof. Ace catches him and they both stumble off to the side a bit.

You laugh at them trying to regain their balance but then your smile grows even wider when Rooster appears behind Comet. His curls are pressed against his forehead because of his hat and his cheeks are already pink from the cold.

You hate how utterly adorable you find it, yet you can’t bring yourself to look away. Rooster flashes you a smile, and well... maybe now you don’t hate it so much.

You're waving at him and then Comet is in your ear with an, “I saw thaaat.” Before he’s skipping out of your reach towards Ace and Ghost. You right yourself from trying to hit Comet and turn to find Rooster much closer than he was a moment ago.

“Was this your idea?” He asks, a smile on his lips as he shoves his hands into his pockets. You nod, “We were already awake so we thought, why not?”

Rooster grins, “Good thinking. I mean, how many more mornings will we have like this?” He drapes his arm over your shoulders and turns you towards the sunrise.

You just stare at it with wide eyes, not being able to get enough of all of the oranges and pinks that are dancing across the sky. Faint purples blend into the deep blues on the horizon that are still hanging on from the night.

Leaning into Rooster, you find his warmth comforting.

“Question.” His breath tickles your ear.

“What’s up?” You ask, turning to look at him.

A smile tugs at his mouth, “Why were you already awake?”

You laugh a little, “Oooh. We were studying.”

His mouth falls open, “Why? You’re literally the smartest person I know.”

Brushing him off with a wave of your hand, you drop your gaze to your feet, “Psh, no I’m not.”

“You are! Don’t deny your genius, Wonder. It hurts my heart.” Rooster says, his hand slapping dramatically over his chest. You laugh at his expression, your closed eyes causing you to miss the way his smile grows at the sound.

You pat his hand over his heart, “Oh, I don’t wanna do that.”

He only smiles more, “Good. Besides, you’re already pretty much perfect at everything.”

“No, I’m not-” You’re saying put then Rooster stumbles back, doubling over with his hands clasped over his chest, “Ow, my heart!”

“Rooster!” You laugh as you shove at his shoulder, which only gets him to laugh as he points at you, “Admit it! You’re crazy smart.”

You just roll your eyes at him. Rooster puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, not taking that for an answer. Instead, he rushes forward and wraps his arms around your waist.

You yell out in surprise as your back is pressed against his front, your feet skidding across the ground as he spins you. All you can do is laugh as he yells out an, “Admit it!”

Holding onto his arms, you give in, “Okay, okay! I’m smart!”

Rooster lets you go and in one swift movement has you turned towards him, “How smart?”

You smile up at him, a little breathless, “So smart.”

He laughs, “The smartest.” The way he’s looking at you has your heart going absolutely nuts. His curls are in his eyes and his cheeks are so red, along with his nose now, too.

You can’t help but admit how utterly handsome he looks right now. Looking away, you try to steady your rapidly beating heart. To keep your mouth from saying something you don’t want it to, you quickly grab Rooster’s hat and pull it down over his eyes.

He starts, his hands reaching up to push off yours, but you’re running away. You run towards Ace with a yell, who is already opening her arms to you. She catches you in a hug and the impact sends you two spinning a bit.

“What happened?” She laughs as you both regain your footing, her expression nothing but slightly confused.

You’re just out of breath and laughing too hard to answer. Ace looks over at Rooster with his hands on his hips and lets out a knowing, “Ah.”

You blink at her and are about to ask her what she means when Ghost lets out an excited, “Guys, it’s snowing!” He’s leaning over the edge of the building, his head tilted towards the sky.

You and Ace look up and find that there are snowflakes falling. Big, white, fluffy ones.

“Oh, wow.” Ace breathes out as she watches them fall, a couple landing on her face. You give Ace a squeeze before taking her hand and leading her over to the boys, who are all looking at the sky.

Upon walking towards Rooster, you grin a little at him as he looks at you expectantly, “Sorry for blinding you.”

He shrugs, “T’was only temporary, M’lady.”

“Tis a relief to hear, my good sir.” You laugh.

“Ooh, guys can we build a snowman later?” Comet’s voice pulls you away from Rooster, “Once the snow gets deeper?” As he finishes speaking he looks up and tries to catch a snowflake with his tongue.

“And go sledding! I’ve always thought that the hill by the pond would be perfect for sledding.” Ghost puts in, his hands clapping together like an excited child.

Ace gives him a questioning look, “And what would we sled on.”

Ghost pauses mid clap, his hands mere inches apart, “Uuh, the trays from the mess hall?”

The three of you hum in agreement.

“Yeah, that’ll work.” Ace says as she pats her WSO on his back.

You feel a hand wrap around yours and look over to Rooster, who begins pulling you away from the ledge, “Come here.”

“What are we doing?” You ask as he takes hold of your other hand as well.

He smiles, “I remember my mom and dad doing this whenever it snowed because the ground would get all slippery.”

You squeeze his hands tighter as a familiar warm feeling fills your heart. Whenever Rooster would mention something about his parents, he would get this certain glint in his eyes that were hard to look away from.

He squeezes your hands back, “Just do what I do.”

You're confused at first but then Rooster begins to run in a circle. You both lean back, each others hold being the only thing keeping you upright. The snow is in fact making the ground slippery, which you find only causes you to move faster.

You run faster but then feel one of your hands slip, sending both you and Rooster skidding in opposite directions. You fall onto your back laughing, tears in your eyes. Rooster hurries over, still wheezing as he holds his hand out to you, “You okay?” He asks.

Your stomach hurts from laughing as you spin, the world moving around you in a blur. Through the blur you still catch glances of Ace, Ghost, and Comet doing the same thing, though their circle seems to be a bit more hectic.

Or at least tries to ask. He’s laughing so hard it’s a bit difficult to understand if he actually spoke English or not. But you still just nod and take his hand.

Once back on your feet, you try to catch your breath as you lean your side against him, a laugh still rattling through you. You watch as the others meet a very similar fate that you did as they all break apart and fall.

Your knees feel weak as the laughing starts over again, leaving the five of you all just laughing hysterically on the roof at five in the morning. As everyone calms down and catches their breath, Ace suggests going inside for some hot cocoa.

“Yes, please. I can’t feel my toes.” Ghost says as he loops his arm through Ace’s, who rolls her eyes, “That’s your fault for wearing slippers.”

As you walk to the doors with Rooster, Comet comes up next to you and squeezes your arm, “This is the kind of stuff that I don’t want to change.” He says quietly, his face pink but glowing with nothing but joy.

You grab onto his hand and hold it tightly as you smile, “Me too.”

☆

Your fight with Fritz had been dealt with. Against what you had previously thought, you didn’t break his nose, and he was completely fine. A part of you was annoyed at the fact but the better part of you was relieved.

Nothing much came from it in the end, but you two were no longer paired together. There’s still a struggle amongst everyone and completing the training scenarios.

No one had completed them successfully yet, and the mission date was ever impending. It loomed over the team like a dark cloud filled with lightning, ready to strike at any given moment.

Today isn’t any different. Teams still go up in the air, and they still come back down unsuccessful. You offer Phoenix a reassuring smile as she, Bob, and Coyote are called to go up.

The rest of you sit sprawled across the ready room, listening intently to the radio on the bar counter. Maybe this will be the one.

You sit on the couch next to Rooster, completely exhausted. You had been paired with Payback and Fanboy, and while you all worked well together, the session still ended in an ultimate failure.

You glanced over at the pair of them on the couch across from you, noting how tired they both looked. Frowning, you drop your gaze to the string you were messing with on the cuff of your sleeve.

The radio crackles and it isn’t hard to miss when Coyote communicates that the missile didn't hit the target. It was almost expected at this point, as no one yet has had a direct hit.

There’s a collective groan throughout the room with the thought that this team too will return unsuccessful. Their voices come through the radio and Maverick’s “That’s a kill.” allows you to know that Phoenix and Bob are out, meaning the mission is a complete failure.

“Damn it.” Rooster mutters next to you, pinching the bridge of his nose. Maverick announces that it’s time to head back, they’ll try again.

But that’s when you all hear it. You sit up on the couch, your head turning towards the radio as Phoenix’s panicked, “He’s going to burn in!” filters through the speakers.

Coyote was in G-Lock.

Before you even register what's happening, you see Hangman rush towards the radio, turning up the volume nob. His hands grip the counter, his knuckles going white as uneasiness fills the room.

You’re on your feet as Maverick yells, “I’m going after him!”

“Come on, Coyote. Come on...” Hangman mutters as he stares at the radio, his jaw clenched tightly. You feel your stomach drop as you watch the man’s face pale. It wasn’t hard to guess how close him and Coyote were, as the two were always by each others sides.

Maverick’s voice is all that’s heard in the dead silence of the room, each panicked yell for Coyote sending a chill down your spine. You hold your breath as the line goes silent.

“Coyote? Coyote, you okay? You okay?” Maverick asks quickly.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. I’m okay.” Coyote’s voice finally responds, sending a resounding amount of relief throughout the room. You watch Hangman’s head drop, his grip on the counter lessening as he lets out a breath.

“That was close.” Phoenix says, to which you can’t help yourself agreeing with.

“Too close.” Maverick says, “Let’s head in. That’s enough for today.”

You sigh deeply, glancing over to Rooster who shares your look of relief. The second of relief is gone as soon as it came however, as panic once again fills the line.

“Bird strike! Bird strike-” Maverick’s voice is clear and full of surprise. The sound of a jet being hit crackles through the speakers.

“We’re hit- left engine is out!” Bob yells, his tone unlike anything you’ve heard before. Your body goes rigid from where you stand next to Rooster, who is completely frozen as he stares wide eyed at the radio.

“We’re on fire! We’re on fire!” Bob shouts, to which Phoenix responds, “Climbing!”

“Oh my god.” Rooster’s voice is almost inaudible from next to you. So much so that you wouldn’t have heard it if the room wasn’t already stilled with silence.

All you can hear is the panic from Phoenix and Bob as they try to regain control, but from what you’re hearing, they aren’t. They’re on fire, and they’re falling.

“You can’t recover- eject! Eject!” Maverick yells to them, almost sounding as if he’s pleading.

There’s no response from the pilots as the line falls silent. Your head whips towards the window as a distant explosion rattles through the air. All you can see is a growing tower of smoke on the horizon, and nothing more.

Your hand covers your mouth in shock, your heart beating so fast that it feels like it’s in your throat, choking you.

“Did they make it?” Fanboy asks, his hands on the back of his head as he stares out the window, his eyes wide. From next to him, Payback just runs his hand down his face and lets out a quiet, “Shit..”

“What...” Hangman mutters from his spot next to the radio. His normal demeanor is dropped and all you can see is the genuine fear in his eyes. Your chest is so tight it feels as though you can’t breathe.

Looking to Rooster, you find that he’s just staring out the window, his expression blank, “They’ve got to be okay.” He says quietly, almost to himself.

You turn back towards the window and that’s when you see it, the sight making you jump slightly.

“Parachutes!” You shout, louder than you meant to but you can’t find it in yourself to care. They made it out, they didn’t crash.

“They ejected- oh thank god.” Fanboy sighs, running his hands down his face as he falls back onto the couch.

Hangman walks towards the window, his hands clenched tightly, “But are they okay?” He asks no one in particular.

“We won’t know until they're brought back in... but they’re alive.” Payback says, walking over to Hangman and placing his hand on the man’s shoulder.

“They’re alive.” You repeat softly, your voice barely a whisper.

All you can do now is wait.

☆

You’re pacing the halls as you await the word on Phoenix and Bob’s condition. Everyone pretty much dissipated after seeing the parachutes.

Rooster was kind of in a frozen state and had asked to be alone. You reluctantly obeyed his wishes, which is why you are now in the halls of the med wing with Hangman, Payback, and Fanboy.

You look up as the doors open, revealing a very tired looking Maverick. You rush over to him and everyone else turns towards him expectantly. He just simply nods without any of you saying anything, “Phoenix and Bob are okay. They’re just keeping them overnight for observation... It’s alright.”

“Oh, thank god.” Hangman sighs, leaning his head against the wall as he rubs his eyes with his palms. You drop your head as you let out a breath of relief, “That’s good.”

Looking back up at Maverick, you nudge his arm a little, “Are you okay?”

He waves you off, “Don’t worry about me.”

You shrug, “Old habit.”

He smiles a little at you before looking around, “Where’s Rooster?”

Scratching your neck, you nod down the hall, “He’s still back in the lounge.” Your voice lowers, “Hearing everything kind of freaked him out, I think.”

Maverick looks to you, his eyebrows drawn together, so you continue, “I’ve never seen him like that... all distant. It was like he wasn’t all there.”

Nodding, a sense of understanding crosses over Maverick’s face, “It’s not hard to guess what must’ve been going through his head.” You nod too, knowing exactly what he’s alluding to.

“What about you?” He asks softly.

You raise an eyebrow at him, “Hm?”

“Are you okay.. after hearing that?”

Grinning, you shake your head, “Don’t worry about me, Mav.”

He shrugs, “Old habit.”

You push at his arm slightly, to which he just shakes his head before pulling you into a hug. It’s tight and quick, and as he pulls back he says, “I’m going to go talk to him. You all should be good to see Phoenix and Bob if you want.”

“Alright. Thank you.” You tell him. What you’re thanking him for, you don’t have to tell him. He nods at you before heading towards the lounge to talk with Rooster.

You turn back to the others, who are already heading through the doors. Following Hangman, you thank him as he holds the door open behind him for you.

The group of you make it into Phoenix and Bob’s shared room, where you find them both sitting on their beds talking. They both look over as you all walk in.

Phoenix smiles at the sight of everyone, “Is there a party, or something?”

“Yeah, a glad you’re not dead party.” Hangman says as he moves forward and pulls her into a hug. Phoenix hugs him back tightly, her voice muffled a little by his shoulder as she speaks, “Sounds like a pretty good reason to party.”

“Did anyone bring cake?” Bob asks, his eyebrows raises expectantly as a smile tugs at his mouth. You laugh as you rush over and hug him, “Sorry, the mess hall isn’t open 24 hours, unfortunately.”

He hugs you back tightly before you part, “Ah, I’ll accept just the hugs then.” You give his shoulder a squeeze just as Fanboy comes over, “Good, because there will be plenty.” He says as he practically tackles Bob with a hug.

You and Payback laugh at the two. Turning, you see that Phoenix is already opening her arms to you and you don’t waste a second in hugging her.

“Scared the shit out of us, Phe.” You tell her. She chuckles, “Scared the shit out of myself.”

You rub her back before pulling away with a smile, “It’s good to see you.”

She grins, “Good to see you too.”

There’s a knock at the door and you turn to see Coyote leaning against the frame, “Is there a secret meeting I don’t know about?”

“Nah, we knew you’d show up fashionably late.” Hangman says as he hugs his friend. Coyote returns it and pats him on the back before pulling away. Hangman holds onto his arms, “How are you doing?”

“Good.” Coyote responds with a reassuring smile, “A little shaken, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“Atta boy.” Hangman says as he pats his arm before letting go.

You sit down on the edge of Phoenix’s bed, leaving room for Hangman to plop down next to you.

“Each day is something new, huh?” Payback asks as he sits down next to WSO, who hasn’t left Bob’s side.

“No kidding. Rooster was right to question if this mission is even possible.” Fanboy agrees, leaning back on his hands.

Bob nudges his arm, “We still have time... We’ve just hit a rough patch, that’s all.”

“We’ll get it together. I mean, we are the best of the best, right?” Hangman says, looking around to everyone with a grin and raised eyebrows.

You chuckle, “Take a shot every time someone says that to us.”

Laughter fills the room, the tension fading the longer all of you talk. There’s a feeling that despite all that has happened, it’s going to be okay. Simply because of the people here.

There’s a moment of silence before Bob looks up with a thinking expression, adjusting his glasses as he speaks, “You know... I’m pretty sure I peed myself a little up there.”

“Oh my god.” Fanboy just about chokes on a snort from next to him, his hand coming up to cover his mouth at an attempt to hide his laughter.

Bob laughs too, “No, I’m serious, that was so scary.”

“I mean, at this point in our careers, who hasn’t?” Coyote asks as he leans against the wall. Hangman raises his hand proudly, “I haven’t.”

“I’m not even going to try and hide the fact that I probably did too.” Phoenix says, backing up her WSO. That brings all of you to a point of laughter, the atmosphere in the room lightening.

“Bullshit.” You say, smacking his hand down. Payback is shaking his head, “There’s no way, man.”

Hangman holds his hands up, “Look, I don’t have to defend myself to you guys. I know what happens up there in my own jet.”

“Do you? Do you really?” Coyote asks, leaning forward with his hands on his knees as he squints as his friend. Hangman gives him a shocked look, “Man c’mon, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Says who?” Coyote laughs, reaching out to push at Hangman’s shoulder, “Just because I’m your friend does not mean I have to defend your lies.”

Hangman’s mouth drops, “They’re not lies.”

“They’re so obviously lies, dude.” You tell him blankly. Hangman lets out a groan and leans back on his hands, “Ya’ll are rude.”

His statement sends you all off again, laughter filling the room. Phoenix snaps her fingers, “You’ve at least thrown up in the air, that I know for certain.”

Sighing in defeat, Hangman holds up his hand in a one armed shrug, “That... that is true, yes.”

You’re laughing so hard now your stomach is starting to hurt. You lean forward, clutching it as Hangman shakes his head, “What a team we are... Just a bunch of idiots talking about who’s had an accident in the air.”

“We’re just that comfortable with each other, buddy.” Coyote says, resting his arm on Hangman’s shoulder as he places his hand over his heart dramatically. Hangman shrugs him off, “Don’t buddy me, you betrayed me.” But the laughter in his voice throws off any hint of malice he may had intended.

“Bunch of idiots, indeed.” Phoenix mutters in your ear. You nudge her arm with a laugh, the smile on your face wide.

A gentle knock on the door brings you all towards it. Your smile falters a little as you see Warlock standing in the doorway, his features weighed down with a forlorn expression.

He steps in, holding himself in a way that shows he’s struggling to find the words for whatever he came to say. It throws the room into an ominous feeling.

Looking over the room, he clears his throat, “Excuse me...” He starts slowly, his voice hesitant. Warlock’s eyes land on you and your heart skips as he speaks, “Lieutenant Kazansky, may I speak with you?”

You’ve had enough experiences in your life to have an idea of what the look in his eyes mean. It feels as though the air in your body has left as you slowly lift yourself to your feet. You feel a comforting hand squeeze at your shoulder before you walk towards the door.

Warlock takes you out into the hall, gently closing the door behind him. He offers you a sad smile.

“Sir?” You ask hesitantly, your voice filled with the dread you’re feeling on what he has to say. A part of you is praying and hoping with everything that you are that it isn’t what you think.

But the more rational side of you knows that it is. Warlock proves it to you when he softly says your name.

“He’s gone.” Your voice is hardly audible as you say it before he even gets the chance to. Warlock’s eyebrows draw together before be nods slowly, “I am terribly sorry, Lieutenant.”

You feel yourself nodding, hot tears filling your eyes as your throat closes. You look at him, your hands clasped tightly together in front of you, “When?” You whisper.

“We just received a call from your mother... he passed in his sleep.” Warlock tells you, his voice nothing but gentle.

You take in a shaking breath as you look towards the ceiling. All you can do is nod.

“I am truly sorry... he was a great man.” The admiral’s voice sounds so distant as he speaks. You can barely see through your tears that are pooling at your eyes.

Refusing to fall.

You look towards him, “Thank you... for coming to tell me.” You say quietly, your voice shaking.

Warlock nods his head and gently rubs your arm in a comforting manner. You place your hand over his and squeeze it in response, not being able to speak.

You know that Warlock as children, he’s a father. There’s not a doubt in your mind that he’s thinking of his own being in your place. You offer him a sad, watery smile before moving to go.

There’s a sound of running feet halting to a stop behind you as you turn. You look to see both Maverick and Rooster, eyes wide and chests heaving. Maverick’s eyes are filled with unshed tears. You barely even look at Rooster before you’re turning around and brushing past Warlock.

It almost feels as though you’re running the second you round the corner. You’re not sure where you’re going, but you need to be alone. You’re not even sure if you’re breathing as you rush down the hall, refusing to the let the tears fall.

Refusing to even allow yourself to process anything at all.

You come across a door to a random room and wrench it open. Slamming it behind you, you flinch a little as the impact rattles the frames on the wall. Breathing heavily, you look around and see nothing but a table and a couple of chairs.

There’s a radio on the table, but not much else.

With a shout, you grab onto the radio and rip the cord out of the wall before throwing it to the ground. It smashes against the floor, scattering across the hardwood.

You stare at all the broken pieces for a moment, the tears finally falling.

That’s when you break.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you slowly drop to the ground with a silent sob, your head throbbing. The silence grows into an agonizing cry as you hold yourself, your fingers digging into your arms.

It hurts to breathe, knowing what you had been fearing has finally come true.

Tom Kazansky is dead.

Your father is gone, and you never truly said goodbye.

There was so much you wanted to say. Now you’ll never get to.

It feels as though you are completely alone, that your world is crashing down around you. The pain is burning in your chest, not allowing you to catch your breath.

You feel arms wrap around you and fall back into them, holding onto the arms and not even registering who it is quite yet. But they’re here.

They’re here, yet you feel so terribly empty.

They shift and lean against the wall, holding you to them. Your head falls against their shoulder.

“It’s okay... I’m so sorry...” A soft voice whispers in your ear. You close your eyes tightly, the tears falling down your face as you finally make out who it is.

Bradley.

Who else?

You just hold onto him tighter, your breath coming out in pained gasps. He rocks you a little, his hold on you never wavering, “It’s alright... I’ve got you, you’re okay..” His voice is so quiet and gentle, it seems to wrap you up in this cloud of comfort and warmth.

Bradley continues speaking softly to you, just sweet nothings of comforting words. You barely even hear half of them, but just having him there with you is enough to breathe the air back into your lungs.

You father is gone.

But you are not alone.

☆

That night, you dream of your father.

It’s the day of graduation, and you’re getting ready in the room you shared with Ace. She had left earlier to meet up with her family who had come for the ceremony.

You’re mind is unfocused as you button your collar, taking a moment to stare at yourself in the mirror. You don’t quite recognize the person staring back at you.

Unwelcome tears begin to pool at your eyes. You lean against your hands on your desk, your head falling back as you look up to the ceiling, just trying to breathe.

“Pull it together, Wonder.” You whisper to yourself, closing your eyes.

But it’s hard. Impossible, even. The one person who has been by your side since day one, who you thought would always be with you, isn’t here.

He’s buried six feet under, and it’s your fault.

Your hands ball into fists on the desk as you drop your head, your eyes remaining closed.

God you wish he was here.

Comet is supposed to be here.

But he isn’t, and you are.

Now you have to go walk across that damn stage and get your wings. Without him. All you can do is think about how excited he was.

You sniff and shake out your hands as you hear a knock. “Come in.” Your voice shakes more than you’d like. You turn as the door creaks open, revealing Rooster clad in his dress whites.

“Hey.” You say to him quietly.

“Hey.” He responds, offering you a smile.

It’s as if him just being here calms you slightly. Rooster notices your red rimmed eyes and steps closer, “You okay?”

Your eyebrows draw together and you almost laugh, “No.”

“What can I do to help?” He asks gently.

You shake your head but then feel yourself falter. “Just...” You’re cut off by the tightening of your throat and instead hold your arms out to him.

Rooster wastes no time in closing the distance between you two and enveloping you in a hug. He rubs his hand along your back in the way he knows you find comforting. You just bury your face in his shoulder.

“He’d be proud of you, you know.” Rooster tells you quietly. The softness to his voice surprises you almost as much as his words.

You turn your head until it’s just your cheek resting against his shoulder, “He should be here.” Your voice cracks.

Rooster just holds you tighter, “It isn’t your fault.”

“I wish people would stop saying that.”

He pulls back to look at you, “Why?”

You just shake your head.

“Wonder.” Rooster says firmly, though he keeps his voice quiet.

You look up at him. Into his eyes that are swimming with nothing but grief and understanding. He rubs his hands along your arms, “It isn’t your fault, and I’m going to keep saying it until you believe it.”

“You’ll probably be saying it for the rest of your life, then.” You tell him simply, sniffing as you look away.

“I don’t care. I’ll do whatever it takes.” There’s not an ounce of hesitation in his voice. It is filled with complete certainty.

Your eyes drift over the wall that is covered with photos. Most of which Comet took. You smile a little at all of them, “He was so excited to graduate.” Your voice comes out as a whisper.

Rooster tightens his hold on your arms, “I know...”

You look back to him, your chest tightening, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can.” He reassures you.

You’re shaking your head as the tears fall, “No, I can’t. Not without Comet.”

“Wonder.” Rooster tries but you keep going, “He’s been by my side through all of this... I don’t know how to do this without him.”

“But you do.” He says softly.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” Rooster’s hands come up to cup either side of your face, thumbing away the tears, “He was with you, sure, but everything you’ve accomplished is all because of what you’ve done, not anyone else.” He pauses for a moment as his eyebrows draw together, his own eyes shining.

“You can do so much more than you think and though it hurts like hell right now, it will get better. You’ll learn how to move on, I promise.”

All you can do is look at him as he continues, “You’re not alone, Wonder. You never will be.”

You feel yourself crumple and fall into his embrace once more. He wraps his arms around you and holds on tightly, “You’re one of the strongest people I know... and if there’s anything you can do, it’s to come out of this.”

Rooster rubs his hand along your back, “So, you’re going to walk across that stage... get your wings... and wear them proudly.” He pulls you back, “For Comet.”

Him saying that brings some strength back to you. It calms you and allows you to breathe again. You nod and wipe at your tears.

Sniffing, you cup his cheek, “You’re doing it for someone too.”

Rooster gives you a questioning look, to which you smile softly, “For Goose. He’s proud of you, too. I know it.”

You see the tears fill his eyes as he nods, holding out his hand for you, “Ready?”

Taking his hand, you hold it tightly, "Let’s go.”

☆

You’re fidgeting in your seat as the names are called, each one bringing you closer and closer to the stage. Soon enough, yours is called and you hesitate for a moment before taking the steps.

Ice is waiting for you on the stage, a look of nothing but pride and love on his face. Seeing him tightens your chest.

As you walk up to him, you salute, to which he smiles so wide. Stepping forward, he pins your wings on your uniform and as he does he leans in close and says, “I am so proud of you, my wonder.”

He then pulls you into a tight hug.

“The sky is lucky to have you, Lieutenant.” Ice tells you softy.

You smile at him as you pull away. He smiles back and there’s a slight glisten to his eyes that catches the sunlight. Ice leads you off of the stage as everyone claps.

The rest of the names are called by in a blur, and soon enough everyone is gathered around, talking excitedly. You had finished top of your class, Rooster second to you.

Your parents are pushing you two together to take a picture, as well as ones with Ace and Ghost. Upon seeing your friends, you pull them both into the tightest hug.

The missing spot of your fourth held in each of your hearts. As you part, Ace whispers, “I’m so proud of you.”

“You too.” You say back, and then look over to Ghost, “And you. I’m so proud of you.” He smiles under the praise, his eyes watering, “I love you guys.”

You three hug once more before they’re both pulled away by their families. You watch them go, knowing you’ll see them again.

You return to your family and are met with a chorus of how proud they are of you. Glancing over, you notice Maverick standing off to the side. Excusing yourself, you hurry over into his already open arms.

“You made it!” You exclaim as you pull back. He laughs, “Of course I made it. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He looks down to your pin and smiles, “Wow, look at that.”

You grin. As Maverick looks at you, he notes the familiar distant look in your eyes and nods in understanding. He squeezes your arms, “I’m so proud of you, kid.”

“Thanks, Pops.”

“Ah, that nickname ages me.”

“You love it.”

“I do-” He laughs, “I really do.”

“Come on.” You take his hand and lead him over to your parents and the others. Upon seeing Maverick, Ice greets him with a hug.

“How’s my wingman?” Maverick asks as they part. Ice smiles, “About to burst with pride.”

You laugh as your mother pulls you into a side hug and squeezes you. As Maverick and Ice talk, you look over to Rooster, who is glancing at Maverick.

You nudge his arm, “Go talk to him.”

He seems unsure, “I don’t know.”

“Rooster, you just graduated practically top of your class, you’ve got to know how proud he is of you.” You tell him, treading lightly but also speaking with certainty as you are fully aware of how proud Maverick is.

Rooster looks to Maverick again, who looks back. The second their eyes meet, Maverick smiles but Rooster looks away.

“Practically at the top...” He chuckles, staring at you, “You could just say second.”

You scrunch your nose at him, “Eh, didn’t want to make you feel bad for having lost to me.”

He rolls his eyes, “I don’t feel bad.”

“Sure you don’t.”

“Okay... maybe a little.”

You snap your fingers, “There it is.”

“But you deserve to be first,” Rooster says quickly, “You’re insane.”

You do a little bow, “Why, thank you.”

He nudges your shoulder and you nudge back, “Now are you going to go talk to him or will I have to?”

“Please don’t, oh my god, I’m going.” Rooster groans, but there’s a slight shake of laughter to his voice. You chuckle as he rushes past you.

You watch as he stops a little ways away from Maverick. The two speak lowly to each other for a moment before Maverick pulls Rooster into a tight hug. Rooster hesitates for a second but then hugs back.

They still have their problems to work through, you know that, but today is a day where Bradley needs someone. His parents are not longer here, but Maverick is.

You’re pulled away from the two as Ice walks to you and says, “Come with me.”

He leads you away from the crowd before bringing you into a tight hug. As he pulls away, he just stares at you for a moment, “I am so proud of you.”

You smile at him, “I couldn’t have done it without you.” Ice waves you off, “No... this is your day, you deserve all the credit.”

“I’m serious though, I owe it all to you, dad.” You say firmly.

His eyes shine as he reaches over an straightens your pin, “I never got the chance to ask how you were doing.”

You swallow dryly, “I’m... trying. Doing my best.”

He nods, “Colin is proud of you. Beyond proud, I just know he is.”

Tears fall from your eyes as you smile at his words, your heart aching, “I was so proud of him too... I still remember how nervous he was starting out.”

Ice laughs, “He would always talk so fast... sometimes I truly had no idea what he was saying.” You laugh as well, wiping at your eyes.

“But you two grew together and created your own team. That’s something special.” He tells you, to which you nod.

Clearing his throat, Ice puts his hands on your shoulders, “Hang on to your team, Wonder... You were never meant to be alone.”

You give him a questioning look, confused as to where he’s coming from. He smiles sadly at your expression, “I can see it in you. How you’re pulling away from others... but remember, those who are by your side... they are your greatest strength.”

He squeezes your shoulders, “Having that experience, that bond you had with Comet will only help you to grow... Though I know how badly it hurts, it will get better. You’ll see.” You nod along as he speaks, your throat tight as the tears fall.

Ice hugs you once more, “I love you so much... and I know that you have so many great things left to do.”

“I love you too, dad.” You say, your cheek pressed against his chest. You can feel his heart beating under your touch. You pull back, “Thank you for being here.”

He smiles, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders as you walk back to the others, “You know what I realized?” He asks.

“Hm?” You tilt your head towards him.

“I’ve never flown with you.” Ice says with a smile, “I mean, I’ve flown you countless times, but you’ve never flown me.”

You laugh at his statement, “Do you want to change that?”

“I would love nothing more.” He says with the widest smile.

It takes you a while after that day, but eventually Ice is the first person you fly with after Comet.

He’s also the last.

☆

The day of your father’s funeral you find yourself not truly feeling anything. There’s a pain in your chest and tears in your eyes that refuse to fall, but you feel nothing.

Even while you stand beside your mother as the trumpets play, you feel as though you’re not really there. It’s as if you’re existing outside of your body, just watching everything unfold, but not actually taking part in any of it.

Yet, you stand tall, your eyes trained forward as your mother is handed a flag. She holds it close to her chest and you can see how her shoulders shake out of the corner of your eye.

You glance over towards Maverick, who is standing before the coffin, his eyes brimmed with tears. He looks at nothing but the casket before him, his hands shaking slightly as he places his pin on the wood. The slam of his fist pounding it in rattles through your chest.

While the trumpet crescendos before falling silent, you bring your hand up to a salute as jets fly over the ceremony, in honor of the late admiral.

None of this feels right to you.

After the funeral there are words of comfort and condolences said to you and your family. It all passes by in a blur, so much so that you can’t even remember who spoke to you once everyone has said their goodbyes.

How could it?

You don’t leave your mother’s side throughout it all, her hand clasped tightly in yours. At the end of it all, she turns to you with a watery smile, her chin trembling as she tries to hold herself together.

Sarah Kazansky is one of the strongest women you’ve ever met, and to see her on the brink of crumbling is enough to send you over the edge. All you can do is pull her into a tight hug, rubbing your hand along her back just like she always would for you.

As you hold onto your mother, you feel your siblings gather around, enveloping you in one big, much needed hug. You rest your cheek against your younger brother’s hair, his face hidden in Sarah’s shoulder.

With your family surrounding you, there is a part of you that knows all too well that your father will live on through each and every one of them. As you part, your mother cups the sides of your face, once again putting on a brave face as she smiles softly at you.

“I love you so much, my darling.” She says, her voice no stronger than a whisper. You nod, your tears falling as you hold onto her wrists, “I love you too.”

Wringing your hands together tightly, you slowly walk over to the newly placed headstone, the white marble perfectly pristine. As your feet slow, you find yourself reading the name engraved on it over and over again.

Your voice is so quiet you’re not sure she even heard you, but the way her smile grows just the smallest amount tells you that she did. Holding tightly to your mother’s hands, your eyes flick towards the grave site, “I think I’m going to hang back for a bit, if that’s alright.”

Sarah nods, thumbing away a stray tear on your cheek, “Take all the time you need, sweetheart. We’ll be at the house whenever you’re ready.” You send her a grateful smile before watching her and your siblings make their way down the hill.

Tom Kazansky. Loving Father. Devoted Husband. Respected Admiral.

You wipe your eyes and look towards the sky, your throat tight. Through the blur of your tears, you take a moment to watch the colors of the setting sun above you. Soft pinks and purples dance across the sky, bringing a slight smile to tug on your lips at its beauty.

Dropping your gaze back to the headstone, you let out a deep breath as you fidget with the wings pinned onto your chest. Right over your heart, placed there by Iceman himself.

Your mind clouds over and you have to think for a moment before you clear your throat, “I guess this is goodbye, then.” Your voice comes out scratchy, but you can’t find it in you to try and make it sound cleaner.

“I...” You start and then pause, your hands opening and closing at your sides as you try to stay composed, “I keep thinking of everything that I wanted to tell you... but then just hoping that you knew, because I never got the chance to.”

You let out a deep, pained breath before running your hands down your face. Your arms wrap around yourself as you stare at the headstone, “You told me that I’m strong but... but right now I feel like I could be blown over by the wind, Dad.”

You sniff and wipe angrily at your tears with the back of your hand, “You told me you did... that you always knew, but... I still wish I could’ve said it, you know? I wish I could’ve told you myself.” Your voice cuts off as you choke on a sob, your palms digging into your eyes as your shoulders tremble.

A dry chuckle rattles through your throat as you look to the sky once more, the colors more vibrant and louder than before. Still staring at the above, you try to keep going, “You were the stronger one, I think...” You trail off, struggling to find the right thing to say.

You drop your head in frustration. There is so much you have to tell him, but just like before, the words fail you. Hiding your eyes behind your hand, you shake your head, “God, why is it so hard to just talk.”

Your hand falls from your face as your chest tightens, knowing that what you want to say will not be spoken today. Wiping at your eyes once more, you take a deep breath, “I love you, Dad... and I miss you.”

That’s all your able to say before the grief takes away your voice. There is nothing in you left to keep yourself together enough to even utter another word. So instead, you reach down and pick up the bundle of flowers that you had brought with you.

Carefully walking towards the stone, you place them at the base of his name. The bouquet is decorated with all the blue and white flowers you could find, knowing that they were Ice’s favorite.

You kneel down and rest your forehead against the cool stone, feeling the tears slip down your cheeks as you close your eyes, “Bye, Dad.” You whisper to him.

With nothing left to say, you brush your hands off on your pants as you stand. You take one last look at the grave before turning and walking down the hill, making you the final one to leave.

As you walk down to the parking lot, you’re aware that close friends and family went back to your parents house, but you can’t find it in you to want to go there right now. A part of you is saying it’s selfish, but you choose to ignore it.

Stepping off the grass and onto the pavement, you look up and find a familiar face waiting for you. He’s leaning against his bronco, fidgeting with something in his hands.

Bradley lifts his head as your feet scuff against the concrete. At the sight of your crest fallen expression, he opens his arms to you. You gladly fall into them, thankful for the comfort of the person closest to you.

Your hat is hanging limply in your hand as you hang onto him, your head leaning against his shoulder. Bradley presses his cheek to the top of your hair, holding you in such a way that feels as though he’ll never let go.

You hope he doesn’t.

The two of you stay like that for a while, you’re not sure how long. Once you pull back, the tears that fell have dried against your skin. You run your hands down your face, your eyes irritated from all the crying.

Bradley looks at you for a moment, his hand reaching down to hold yours before his gaze drifts up towards what’s above, “The sky looks so beautiful.”

You follow his eyes and nod, “I thought so, too.”

He clears his throat and looks back to you, “My mom used to say that the sky was a way for those who have passed to talk with us.”

You stare at him as he speaks, your chest aching, “That those we knew could be seen in the sunrises, the sunsets, the moon... everything.” His hand waves up towards the colors painting the sky, “If she were here she would say that this is Ice’s sky... and that he is speaking so, so beautifully.”

Your eyes are pulled up towards the sky once more. All the colors blur together while your tears fall, but you don’t dare look away. Bradley’s hand squeezes yours as he brings you closer. You lean into him, still watching the sky.

After a while, you slowly drop your gaze and notice the small box clasped in Bradley’s free hand. You nudge his arm with yours, “What’s that?”

“Oh.” Bradley almost sounds surprised as he looks down at what he’s holding. A small smile tugs at his lips as he holds it towards you, “I got it for you.”

You accept the velvet box, giving him a questioning stare before carefully opening it. Your eyes widen as you stare at the small ring placed inside, so simple and delicate.

You gingerly take it out of the box and hold it close as you stare at it in wonder.

“I know you already have his tags but... I thought this could be a reminder of something else.” Bradley tells you softly. As he speaks, you turn the ring over and notice the engraving on the inside.

Never Alone it says etched into the silver.

You slip it onto your index finger, finding that it fits perfectly.

“I know how you feel about being on a team again... but it doesn’t make you any less to be scared or-” His words are cut off as you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, your face buried into his neck. He’s hugging you back without a second of hesitation.

“Thank you.” You whisper to him. He holds you impossibly tighter, “Anytime, Wonder.”

The two of you remain like that for a while, neither one daring to move.

The ring on your finger serves its purpose as its mere existence proves to you that you are not alone. Especially now.

A/n: In writing this I realized that I started the chapter with a sunrise and ended it with a sunset... wasn’t intention but damn, that’s poetic. I hope you all enjoyed and if you cried, so did I, it’s okay. Thank you again for all of your support, I truly can’t express how much it means to me. Take care of yourselves, until next time <3

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#youre a wonder #milano writes a story #top gun: maverick #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #jake hangman seresin #natasha phoenix trace #robert bob floyd #javy coyote machado #mickey fanboy garcia #reuben payback fitch #top gun fic #top gun

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twyllodrus · 28 days

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dead boy detectives + ride the cyclone AU

like, say, the agency gets a new case in north-eastern saskatchewan, ppl report hearing music & singing once every year, at an abandoned warehouse of a theme park, on a specific day in september. with little digging, they find out there was an accident a while back involving a high school choir

for some reason the cyclone gang never moves on, so the agency arrives & so here are some headcanons for their interactions and agency's reactions to some of the songs:

the uranium suite, everyone's really creeped out/confused, except for niko who's vibing throughout the whole thing; at first the two groups don't realize they can see/speak to each other, but soon the cyclone kids find out that holy shit there are new people here hi hello heyy

everyone's excited about newcomers, ocean especially so, who quickly takes the initiative & so edwin defers to her as the group's leader (to noel's annoyance), and they attempt to work on solving the case together, it's all v civil. but then the talking part's over & the singing part of loop begins, so ocean performs what the world needs which does a total 180 on their encounter thus far & now everyone's high-key judging ocean; edwin gives a lecture on evils of social darwinism

noel's lament, noel right away clocks edwin as a repressed edwardian twink & sets out to put him in a coma with the whole monique routine. strangely the moment lipstick & lingerie come out it doesn't seem to faze edwin as much. but then noel also sees the way edwin sometimes looks at charles & so instead of mischa he pulls charles in for the kiss part, who cheerfully goes along with it, which nearly short-circuits edwin's brain (later on constance and niko get to gush together about two boys kissing). by the end of it everyone's dancing & being dramatic like they're the cast of cabaret on acid, except for edwin who's still digesting what's just happened

every story's got a lesson, everyone's still pissed at ocean, edwin incredulously wonders what was the lesson in being sacrificed to a demon & sent to hell at age 16

at first everyone's kinda cringing during this song is awesome, edwin is convinced this "autotune" is a modern tool used to commune with otherworldly entities, but eventually everyone gets into it; they all get sunglasses on, crystal gets edwin to wear a baseball cap backwards, everyone's having general fun

talia, charles is relived to learn that "the angriest boy in town", who could've been easily chalked up to being the toxic masculinity type dudebro, isn't like that at all (just mischa's whole monologue "i lay my masculinity at the altar of your maidenhood" gods). everyone gets to wear vyshyvankas & flower crowns. it's gorgeous

ricky potts unintentionally answers the age-old question of "is it actually possible to give a ghost an aneurysm?" the answer is yes, and space age bachelor man almost succeeds where the noel's lament failed. the moment horny cat people are in the mix, edwin is bombarded with cat king flashbacks and, later on, crystal "casually" mentions that they have met the actual cat king. ricky is super hype & asks lots of questions, giggling, twirling hair etc and also he totally called it that cats can talk but just choose not to

the ballad of jane doe, crystal hardcore relates to the dead decapitated girl, who doesn't know her own name or her past, or who her parents were and whom no one can identify too ("oh no soul, and no name, and no story, what a shame" like c'mon!)

jawbreaker/sugar cloud, everyone's gets a tad teary-eyed, but charles is openly weeping when constance lists all the random things in her life which she grew to appreciate only after the accident

in the end, they figure out the reason they couldn't move on is bc of virgil the rat who for some reason kept shutting karnak off prematurely, before the voting could begin. after figuring that out the voting proceeds as intended, but instead of one of them returning to the living world, they all get to move on. niko adopts virgil the rat

#dead boy detectives #ride the cyclone #edwin payne #edwin paine #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki #ocean o'connell rosenberg #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #ricky potts #jane doe #constance blackwood #virgil the rat #wonder what would charles' & edwin's catchphrases be if they were somehow part of the saint cassian mb smth like “brills“/”wait a tick”#:^) im just clowning dont mind me :^)

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topguncortez · 2 years

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Alternate Attraction- J. Seresin

pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x shy!wife word count: 7.5k (I apologize greatly for what im about to do) warnings: major character death, sadness, toxic parents, cursing, grieving, depression, nightmares, childbirth. synopsis: what if Jake never came home from the Uranium Plant? can be read as a stand alone in the Opposites Attract Universe. part 1, part 2, part 3

A/N: it was hurt everyone in the server hours today and i’m carrying it on. So enjoy:) and lemme tell ya this… no one is safe… (looking at you bob). Also thanks to @blue-aconite and @callsign-phoenix for beta reading:)

Y/N and Alex ate Jake’s favorite meal on the back patio. She tried to put on the best act that she could, smiling and telling Alex that Jake would be home soon. But as the sun set behind the clouds it was clear to Y/N, Jake was not coming home. Y/N gave Alex a bath and dressed him in his favorite pajamas and tucked him into bed. She held him extra tight, and read two books instead of the usual just one.

“Momma,” Alex asked her, “Dada come home?”

“Tomorrow baby,” Y/N sighed as she rubbed his back. He snuggled into her further, nuzzling his head in her neck. This was probably one of her favorite things about having Alex to herself. He seemed to be more glued to Jake when it came to bedtime, than her. She missed the snuggles she would get with her baby boy.

“He still on ship?” Alex asked, his blue eyes filled with confusion.

“Yep,” She kissed his forehead, “He’s on his way home to us. Him, and Uncle Rooster, and Aunt Phoenix and Un-”

“Uncle Bob!?”

“Yes,” Y/N laughed, “Even Uncle Bob. Remember what we do when Daddy comes home? We have to go to base and wait for him to come in with all the other mommies and babies.”

Alex nodded tiredly, and yawned, “Love you, momma,”

“I love you too, come on, let’s get you tucked in.”

Y/N tucked her son in, and gently ran her hand over his blonde hair. She lingered in the doorway a bit longer, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest, before walking down to her empty bedroom. She hated sleeping alone, ever since she was little. Y/N could remember as a child finding her way to her parents or siblings rooms, sleeping either in their beds or on the floor next to them. It got even worse when she met Jake, the first deployment was rough and she found herself sleep deprived and cranky.

She laid on her side of the bed, on her back. She watched as the blades of the ceiling fan moved around in a circle, slowly overhead. There was too much excitement and nervousness in her body to let her mind rest. A smile crept to her face at the thought of by this time tomorrow night, she would be back in her husband’s arms.

— — —

“Mommy!” Alex yelled loudly from the bathroom.

“What baby?” Y/N called back as she was busy fixing the strap on her sandals.

“I need help,” Alex walked into her room, a pout on his face. Y/N smiled, he looked so much like his father when he did that. She kneeled in front of him and fixed the buttons of his shirt, “You look pretty.”

“Thank you baby.”

She had spent just a bit longer on her appearance, making sure her hair and makeup looked good, digging out the sundress that would drive Jake wild. When she finished fixing Alex’s shirt, she ruffled his hair. They brushed their teeth side by side, Y/N making funny faces at her toddler. Alex made sure that Y/N had packed his poster in the car, and that he had his toy F-18 with him. Y/N’s hands trembled as she held on to Alex’s hand as they crossed the busy parking lot with the other families. She had noticed Cyclone and Warlock’s wives, and Phoenix’s partner, and waved to them.

“He's here?” Alex asked his mom, looking up at her with wide green eyes.

“Soon, c’mere,” Y/N said and lifted her son onto her hip so he could see better, “He’ll walk right down that runway. He’ll be in his summer whites.”

The nerves bubbled up even more as she watched the first couple people trickle off the boat, deck hands and mechanics. She always loved hearing the cheers and excitement as the sailors and aviators walked off the ship. Y/N shifted from side to side as the sailors walked off the boat. She knew that Jake was usually one of the first off, sprinting down the runway to get to his wife and son. But there was a pit settling in her stomach as time went on, and she didn’t see Jake, nor any of his team. Seeing Hondo, Warlock and Cyclone however, did ease her nerves a bit, but the look they gave her was unsettling.

“Mrs. Seresin,” Cyclone said, and gave her a simple headnod. Y/N gave him a tight lipped smile and then looked back at the runway, her heart stopping in her chest.

“Why is Uncle Mav wearing that?” Alex whispered.

“I-I don’t know,” Y/N said, feeling her throat constrict. Maverick’s green eyes were locked on her as he, and Rooster walked side by side. They were the only two dressed in their dress blues, jacket and hat and all. Y/N tried to look away, thinking that maybe, just maybe if she didn’t look, they wouldn’t be walking straight towards her, but that proved to be wrong.

Cyclone, Warlock and Hondo had moved to stand near her, as Bradley and Maverick stopped in front of her. Bradley didn’t say anything as he silently reached out for Alex, and Y/N handed the little boy to him. Rooster’s voice was just a buzz in her ear as he talked to Alex about going to see the inside of the ship. Her whole body trembled as she waited for Maverick to say the words. He didn’t even need to say them, she already knew them by heart having heard them said to other spouses and partners around her. But he had to say it, he had to make it real.

“Say it,” Y/N said, tears falling down her cheeks, her gaze was down at his dress shoes. She couldn’t look him in the eye, “You have to say it, otherwise, I don’t know what you’re doing standing in front of me right now. You are taught on how to deliver the message, on what to say, how to act, how to look. So,” Y/N looked up at Maverick, her eyes wet with tears, “Say it.”

“Mrs. Seresin, the department of defense regrets to inform you that your husband, Lieutenant Jake Seresin, was killed in action on the 24th of May,” Maverick spoke, but it fell on deaf ears. Her body shook even more, Maverick took a step forward to hold her body as her legs gave out. She let out a heartbreaking sob, one that cut deep through the four men standing there. Mav clenched his jaw as she cried. The three officers looked down at their shoes, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“No! No! No!” She pounded against his chest.

Maverick wasn’t sure how long she held her, but they became the last ones there. Maverick kept his arm around her as they walked her closer to the dock. Bradley stood there with Alex in his arms, and the little boy reached out for his mother. Y/N took him and held him close to her chest.

“Why you sad, mommy? Dad’s home!” Alex said.

“Yeah, I know, baby,” Y/N said and pushed a tear from her face. She could see his team; Payback, Fanboy, Coyote, Fritz, and Bob carrying out a flag covered casket. Phoenix walked behind them, her eyes looking far away. You could hear a pin drop with how silent the area was. Y/N felt the warmth of Maverick’s arm disappear as he walked over to them. She knew the drill and ceremony that came with all this, she had lived it for most of her life.

“Present. . . arms!” Maverick yelled, and the sailors and aviators around them lifted their hand in salute, as they brought the casket out. They stopped in front of Y/N, and she turned her head, unable to look at the metal box that her husband’s body laid in.

“Everything will be taken care of Mrs. Seresin,” Cyclone said to her, “The department of the Navy will take care of you and your son.”

“I know,” She whispered, still looking away. Cyclone nodded to the team, and they put the casket into the awaiting hearse.

“Where’s daddy?” Alex asked, “Why isn’t daddy here?”

Y/N couldn’t answer, and looked at Maverick, who just nodded and took her son from her arms. Maverick had held a grieving wife and child before, he was no stranger to how this goes. Bradley walked over and hugged her tightly. Bradley had seen Y/N to be much like his own mother, and broke him in half to know that her fate had been just the same.

— — —

Y/N had invited the team over, not wanting to be in the house by herself. Even though she was there, sitting on the couch with them, she really wasn’t there. Her gaze was cold, and far away, her mind lost in grief. Most of the team had stayed at the house for a bit, trying to keep her mind busy, but they slowly drifted out, leaving behind Bob, Phoenix and Rooster. All three of them stood in the kitchen whispering to each other, as Y/N sat with Alex on the couch flipping through some picture book.

“I don’t want to leave her,” Bob said, “I’m worried about her.”

“She’s not a child,” Rooster said, “We can’t just. . . invade her home and babysit her.”

“She also just lost her husband, and is pregnant again and-”

Phoenix was cut off by Rooster, “She’s pregnant? Oh my god. . . he didn’t know, did he?”

“I don’t think so,” She looked down at her shoes, “Listen, it could’ve been anyone of us. And you know damn well if roles were reversed she would be cleaning our houses and cooking us dinners and doing our laundry. We can take some time off and stay with her.”

“I’m going to put Alex to bed,” Y/N said, standing in the doorway with her little boy in her arms, “He wants to say goodnight though.” A course of goodnights came from the three pilots in her kitchen. Alex gave them all a tired wave before going down to the little boy’s room.

Once she was out of earshot, Bradley turned to his friends, “We stay with her until the funeral, after that, we stay nearby. She’ll kick us away eventually. My mom did the same after my dad died. It made her more sad seeing the uniforms every day and knowing my dad wasn’t coming back.”

Instead of laying Alex in his bed, Y/N laid him in bed next to her. Alex had asked questions all afternoon on where Jake was and if he was coming home and why his Aunt and Uncles were at his house and daddy wasn’t. Y/N did her best to explain that Jake wasn’t coming home. She had told him that something had happened while they were gone, and Daddy went to heaven with Rooster’s dad. Alex seemed to understand at that moment, but an hour later he was asking again.

Y/N had gotten Alex to sleep next to her, which was easy. Between Coyote and Payback, they tired the little boy out so there wasn’t much of a fight for bedtime. Y/N sat up in bed and looked at the manila envelope that was laying on the desk across the room from her. It was basically mocking her, begging her to be open. She stood up carefully from the bed and walked over to the desk. She looked over her shoulder and saw Alex sleeping soundly, and picked it up. Quietly she left the room and walked down the hallway. The aviators that were spread out in her living room looked up at her.

“I- uh. . . Jake has had this since we started dating. It’s everything I need if he ever,” Y/N let out a shaky breath, and looked at the manila envelope with her name scrawled across it. She let out a sob as she picked it up, her vision becoming blurry with tears. She held it to her chest as she sobbed out his name. Never in her years did she think she would have to open it. She never thought that she would be living in a world where Jake wasn’t by her side. He was her everything; her protector, her equal, her other half, the love of her life. She knew she would never find a love like him again. There was no way she could allow herself to kiss another man, let another man touch her, lie down next to another man, let another man raise her kids. Jake was it for her. Jake was all she would ever need.

“It’s okay,” Rooster said, and brought her into his arms, and rubbed her back soothingly, “It’s okay. Let’s go sit down and take a look.” Y/N nodded and Rooster led her to the kitchen table, Bob and Phoenix trailing behind.

They all sat down at the wooden table and watched as she placed the envelope on the table, running her fingers over his handwriting. Her fingers found the opening flap, and pulled it open. She closed her eyes as she grabbed the stack of papers on the inside, and set them on top of the folder. Opening her eyes, she noticed the handwritten note on the top of the stack. Her tears hit the paper as she held it up to read.

‘To the love of my life, this is all you will need. I promised to always take care of you, and I will keep that promise. Even in death. I love you- your Jake.’

“No,” Y/N sobbed again, holding a shaky hand to her mouth, as she flipped through the documents. Jake had prepared everything, it was all written out in her hands. Her heart hurt too much to even read, as she set the stack back on the table. She buried her face in her hands and cried. She knew that she needed to calm herself down, that it wasn’t good to be this worked up for the baby growing inside her.

The baby Jake will never meet.

Y/N placed her hand on her stomach, and cried even more. All Jake ever wanted in life was to be a father, and the moment she had told him that he would be one, his eyes became so bright with love. Jake spent every moment of Y/N’s first pregnancy fighting with his inner demons on if he was going to be a good father or not, and he had told her about his fears of becoming a father and not getting to see his children grow up. The story of Goose Bradshaw was one that was somewhat known in their world, and Jake hated it. He hated the idea so much that at the drop of the word, Jake would leave his whole navy career behind to be a dad.

Rooster took the stack of documents from her and looked them over. He had passed them between the four of them, and looked everything over. Jake was very specific in how he wanted things handled. He wanted the simplest military funeral he could have, only members from his current squadron, his old CO from the Vigils, and a select few friends there. He also wanted someone from the Navy to handle all funeral details, he didn’t want Y/N to have to deal with that on top of her grief, and his mother was a whole hassle. His mother was never a fan of Y/N, so she was not to stay at the house. All money and assets were to go straight to Y/N and Alex, including his share of the Seresin ranch down in Texas. Jake had set it up that the mortgage on the house would be covered, so Y/N didn’t have to worry about that.

— — —

The team did the bulk of the work when it came to Jake’s funeral. The days bled into each other, and before she knew it, Y/N was buttoning up Alex’s white button up and tying a black tie around his neck. The little boy watched his mother’s hands carefully as she tied it and tightened it.

“You think you can do it yourself now?” She asked him and Alex shook his head with a smile, “Neither could your father.”

“Daddy is with Uncle Rooster’s daddy?”

“Yeah,” Y/N sighed and put a hand on Alex’s cheek. The past week it seemed to have settled onto Alex that Jake wasn’t coming home. Bradley had taken Alex to the veterans cemetery and showed him around, and explained what a place like that meant. Alex had come home that afternoon in tears, and Bradley stood in the doorway like a deer in the headlights. Y/N assured the pilot she wasn’t upset with him, that kid’s can’t handle grief in a different way adults do, “Do you know what today is?”

“A goodbye,” Alex mumbled.

“Yeah baby, it's goodbye,” Y/N brushed the tear from his green eyes, “We’re gonna say goodbye to his earth body today, but his heaven body we will see again.”

“And he won’t have ouchies.”

“No, no ouchies.”

“Uncle Rooster says there’s no ouchies in Heaven.”

“Nope, no ouchies,” Y/N heard the creak in the floorboards as Phoenix walked down to her room. Y/N looked up at the pilot, who was dressed in her blues, “Go with Aunt Phoenix, okay baby,” Alex nodded and Y/N kissed his forehead before he went running off with her. Y/N let out a sigh as she stood up and straightened out her black dress. She looked at herself in the mirror and turned sideways, to see the tiny bit of extra tummy that was starting to show.

“We’re okay, we’re okay.” She whispered to herself. She grabbed her purse and stuffed an extra packet of kleenex into it before heading out to the living room. She looked at the aviators in her house; Rooster, Bob, Phoenix and Maverick, giving them a small smile, “Let’s do this.”

Y/N stuck to Jake’s wishes, much to his mother’s despise, and had a simple graveside service. His mother, Jolene, sat front and center, wearing a big black hat that Y/N knew Jake would make a joke about. Y/N rolled her eyes as she heard Jolene talking loudly about her and how she was just sick with grief. Y/N put on Jake’s aviator sunglasses to cover her eyes and linked through Rooster’s and held Alex’s hand as they walked up to the grave. Y/N sat down on the right side of Jolene, and Alex sat on her lap.

“Y/N, good to see you in something other than sweatpants,” Jolene said.

“Jolene, Roger,” Y/N said, greeting both of Jake’s parents. She waved at Jake’s sisters who sat on the other side of their father. Rooster stood behind Y/N and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Y/N was shocked at how many people came, despite the order in Jake’s letters. She knew in the back of her mind that that was going to be ignored. She noticed people from various locations they had lived at: Lemoore, Oceana, Pensacola. Most of them greeted her and told her how sorry they were for her loss. There seemed to be a sea of endless Naval uniforms as they stood and watched as the hearse arrived. Jolene let out an obnoxious gasp as they brought the flag covered casket over to the plot. The family sat back down in the chairs, as the chaplain gave a small message. Y/N kept strong as she watched Phoenix and Bob fold the flag that was draped over Jake’s casket. Jolene gave a dissatisfied sound as Maverick walked over and kneeled in front of Alex, handing the folded flag and her husband’s dog tags to her little boy.

“This is for you,” Maverick said to him, “From the Navy and your dad’s squadron.”

“Thank you Uncle Mav,” Alex said and Maverick gave a nod as he stood back up. Y/N took the flag and dog tags from her son, as Bradley grabbed the little boy's hand and walked him over to the coffin. Bradley lifted him up and whispered something into his ear. Alex placed the golden pair of wings in the center of the dark wood, and with his fist, Rooster pounded them in.

After the service was over, Y/N stood by her car, talking with the team as Jolene walked over, giving her a scowl.

“Nice service Y/N, very plain,” Jolene spoke.

“That’s how he wanted it,” Y/N said, rolling her eyes at Jolene. Thankfully Jake’s dark aviators still covered her bloodshot eyes.

“Did he know he was going to be a father again?”

“. . . No,” Y/N mumbled and looked down at her shoes.

“Maybe if you weren’t so secretive he would still be alive! This is your fault!” Jolene yelled and Roger grabbed her arm, “He-He could be here!”

“She had nothing to do with Jake’s death,” Phoenix said, “You can’t blame her for the career that he chose. He knew the risks that were involved. What was stopping him from going on the deployment to Korea when Alex was just born? Or when he turned three? Nothing.”

“He would still be here,” Jolene said, and then walked away with her husband.

“I can see why Hangman said no to letting her stay at the house,” Bob said, and Y/N let out a loud laugh. The aviators looked at her as she continued to giggle, and caught the eye of grievers walking by. Bradley gave them all a tight lipped smile as he looked over at her.

“I didn’t think Bob was that funny,” Payback said.

“No, it’s just. . . Jake is dead!” Y/N laughed and leaned against Coyote, “He died. He’s actually dead. Not just missing in the ocean waiting for the rescue chopper. His body's laying in that pinewood box over there. I’m twenty-seven and a widow!” Her laughter was contagious as the others around her cracked a smile.

“It’s just like Bagman to leave us hanging like that,” Coyote said, and Y/N laughed even harder.

— — —

She could hardly stand in her house anymore. It didn’t even feel like her house. Y/N and Alex had gone back to Lemoore with Phoenix and Bob. The two aviators were stationed there, while Y/N was searching for an anchor to keep her from floating out to sea. Alex was happy to be back, to see his friends in their neighborhood, but Y/N hated seeing the glances of the military wives. The pity glances she had grown accustomed to seeing. The news of Jake’s death had spread all the way to Lemoore, and Y/N hated it.

It was only three months after Jake’s passing that Bob and Phoenix broke the news that they were being called back to Fightertown. Y/N had grown close to them, the two aviators had basically moved into her house, keeping her and Alex busy. It broke her to watch Alex hug them goodbye in her driveway as they were headed to the airport. It was a sense of deja vu as she watched them drive down the street and disappear around the corner.

Y/N was used to being alone. She grew up shy and moved all around the country because of her father’s job. She married a military man who was gone for long periods of time. But this type of alone feeling was different. This time she had no one to wait for to come through the door. There was no one to call and talk to or write letters. She was truly all alone.

She didn’t know what stage of grief she was in. Nor did she really care, but she knew that she was settling into a deep funk. Most days after dropping Alex off at preschool, she would crawl back in bed and sleep or stare at the picture of Jake and her on their wedding day. The house was a mess, even worse than it usually was. She had made it somewhat presentable, but there were things out of place or just shoved in areas. She would go long periods of time without taking a shower, or changing her clothes or eating. She would wake up in a cold sweat, chest heaving after having nightmares. No one really knew how bad it was until Alex said something during a facetime call with his uncle rooster.

“Mommy woke me up with her crying last night,” Alex said as he sat on the couch and Y/N was getting his bath ready.

“What? What do you mean buddy?” Rooster asked.

“She’s sad. And she wakes me up with her crying. She usually cries after she puts me to bed but last night she woke me up,” Alex said and Rooster nodded his head.

“Yeah your mommy is going to be sad for a while… how about Uncle Rooster coming to visit?”

“Yay! And Aunt Phoenix and Uncle Bob?”

“I’ll bring Uncle Mav too,” Rooster chuckled and heard Y/N call for Alex, “I’ll talk to you later buddy. Don’t tell your mommy, it’s a surprise.”

Alex promised not to tell, which he ended up telling Y/N the next day. Y/N messaged Rooster and asked him about this so-called surprise, and Rooster explained that he’d be there in three days, and would spend the weekend. It sent Y/N into a spin, trying to pick up the house while being almost seven months pregnant, and trying to seem like all was well in her life. When Rooster arrived, Alex ran to the door, calling out his name. Y/N peaked her head around the corner of the kitchen, seeing that it was only Bradley, she frowned.

“Where’s the rest?” She asked, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Just me, sorry to disappoint,” Rooster smiled and kissed Alex’s cheek, “How are you doing?”

“Good,” She smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “Made too much food like always, but, uh, come in. I’ll get you- well I actually don’t have anything other than juice boxes and water.”

“Water’s fine,” Bradley laughed and followed her into the kitchen. He noticed the lack of photos of Jake, it had seemed like she tried to erase him completely.

Y/N didn’t talk much, and listened to Rooster do most of the talking about his life back in North Island as the newly minted Dagger Squad. She tried to push away the heaviness that fell on her listening to the stories of the antics between the aviators, wishing so bad that Jake could be a part of it.

“And Cyclone’s face was- oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Bradley said, stopping his story to see her with tears rolling down her cheeks, “I didn’t realize-”

“Mommy’s crying,” Alex said, and frowned.

“No, no I’m okay,” She shook her head and wiped her tears, “I’m just gonna go lay down. My back hurts.”

Rooster sighed and bowed his head as Y/N got up from the table and waddled down the hallway. Rooster looked at Alex, who looked confused.

“Mommy’s sad?”

“Yeah,” Rooster nodded, “It’s okay, buddy.”

Later that night, Rooster had asked Maverick for help. If there was anyone who felt the pain that Rooster was feeling, it was Maverick, having lived through this exact situation some twenty years ago. Maverick suggested the Rooster invited Y/N and Alex to move down to North Island, and to tell her that the Navy would cover everything. Rooster knew that Y/N and Jake had talked about moving back before his death. She wanted to be close to family, close to the ocean that she loved, close to the place where she met Jake. Rooster wasn’t sure if she could do it, that it might be too painful for her to go through.

But when he heard her screaming in her sleep, he knew that he couldn’t just leave her here like this. Her loud screaming was piercing and made Rooster shoot off the couch, and run towards her room. Her eyes were closed as she clutched the pillow, but tears were running down her cheeks as sobs and gasps left her mouth. Bradley gently shook her awake, calling out her name. Her eyes snapped open, and she looked around her room frantically.

“It’s just me, you’re okay,” Bradley said, holding onto her forearms, “You’re okay.”

“He’s gone,” She sobbed and Bradley pulled her in for a tight hug. Bradley held her as she cried, and waited for the sobs to quiet down before he asked her anything.

“How long have the nightmares been happening?”

“Since he died,” Y/N mumbled, “They’ve gotten worse as the pregnancy has progressed. I used to get some weird nightmares with Alex, but these are the same ones over and over.”

Bradley nodded and ran his hand through her hair, “I think you should come back, be closer to your family.”

“I can’t, Alex has a life here, a routine. He needs stability more than ever.”

“And what about you?” Bradley asked. He saw in her eye the same look that his mother once had. The look of selflessness, the look of a grieving mother and widow. He hated seeing that look on someone he loved again.

“It’s Jake’s house, he paid for it and I-”

“He would want you to be somewhere where you want to be. He wouldn't want you to be here alone, suffering, barely being able to get by, he’d want you somewhere comfortable, with the people he loved, that you love. Mav is working on getting it set up, come back with me.”

“I’m pregnant Bradley,” Y/N said, placing her hands on her bump, “I just can’t move this close to my due date. I-I don’t have things set up and-”

“We’ll take care of that. You just take care of yourself, Alex, and this little one,” Bradley said and placed his hand on her bump, “Penny and Phoenix would have my ass if I came back without you.”

“You all really discussed it?”

“Yep,” Bradley said, “Mav and Penny promised to fly up on Monday to take Alex, so I can help you pack.”

And exactly like Bradley said, Maverick and Penny showed up on her doorstep Monday morning. Alex was happy, and a little confused, to see Maverick and Penny again. Bradley and Y/N did as much packing as they could, going through things to get rid of or take with. They had packed up Alex’s room, the living room, and the kitchen. What was left was Hangman’s office and her bedroom. Y/N stopped as she stood outside of his office, and Bradley put a hand on her shoulder.

“You do it,” Y/N said, handing him the box, “I can’t. I trust you to make the choice in whatever is valuable and not.”

Bradley nodded, knowing this was exactly how his mother was when they packed up his father’s office. Carole had asked Maverick the same thing, and Maverick prayed that he made the right choice. Bradley pushed the door open, and found a nice and tidy office space. There was a large oak wood desk in the middle of it, and an array of pictures and awards covered the walls. Most of the pictures were of Jake, Y/N and Alex. Bradley was shocked to see some other ones of Jake and Phoenix, or even one of Jake and Bradley.

Rooster took his time taking the pictures off the wall, and wrapping them up carefully. He felt his eyes well up with tears as he came across a picture of Y/N, Alex and Jake. Alex looked no older than a couple months and Y/N had tears in her eyes as Jake kissed the little boy’s cheek. Rooster turned the picture over and read the inscription in Jake’s hand writing.

‘Leaving for Korea. Alex, 3 months old’

— — —

Rooster found himself driving the streets of San Diego at 2 in the morning. He got to her house pretty quickly, being one of the only drivers on the road at the time. He took a deep breath as he parked in the driveway, being as close to the door as he could get. He quickly ran up to the door and opened it, walking right into the house to see Phoenix holding her hand and Bob holding Alex.

“Hey,” Y/N smiled through the pain of the contraction, “Thanks for coming.”

“No problem, tell me what to do?”

It had only been two months since Y/N had made the move from Lemoore back to North Island. It wasn’t ideal, but with the help of the Dagger Squad she had made it work. She was still closed off, distancing herself from them. They knew it had to be painful seeing them around, and knowing Jake wasn’t coming back. But they all listened and came around when she or Alex would ask. Alex had figured out how to get into Y/N’s phone and call Rooster, which had scared the pilot the first time he ever did that. But Bob had been the one to make this call. Y/N had called Phoenix when the first contraction hit, which prompted the female pilot to call her WSO and drive over to her house.

“My car has the carseat in it, I just need you to get the bag from my room,” Y/N said and Rooster nodded, “Bob, are you okay with staying with Alex? I can call my parents.”

“We’ll be fine,” Bob said, looking down at the half asleep boy in his arms.

“Alex came quick,” Y/N said as Bradley came back into the living room, her hospital bag over his shoulder, “I assume I’ll be home by tonight.” Bradley helped her off the couch, with Phoenix assisting. Between the two of them, they helped walk Y/N to the car. “I love you, baby,” Y/N said to Alex and kissed his forehead.

Bradley drove as carefully as he could, trying to block out the pained whimpers of his best friend’s wife as she breathed through contractions. The pain of labor was one of the first things she had felt in so long. She had grown numb to everything around her. But the pain ripping through her body reminded her that she was still alive. They got her checked in at the hospital and taken up to a room. Phoenix had helped her get dressed in the gown as Bradley went and called Maverick, letting him know what was going on.

Time seemed to be frozen as she placed her hands on the bed, and Bradley was applying counter pressure to her back. She felt nauseated as she waited for the contraction to pass. She had already passed the time she labored with Alex. This baby was proving that she was truly a Seresin, being stubborn and taking her time. Y/N wanted this to be quick. She wanted the pain to be over with.

“I can’t do this,” She cried out.

“You can,” Bradley said, and wiped the sweat from her brow.

“I can’t do this without him!” She yelled. Bradley helped her sit back on the bed as her midwife came in to check her dilation.

“It’s time to push,” Her midwife said, and Y/N closed her eyes.

“I’m right here,” Bradley said and Y/N shook her head.

“Leave, please,” Y/N looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears, “Go wait with Phoenix. I can’t have you in here, please! Leave!”

“If you need me, I’m right outside that door.” Bradley said, and respected her wishes and left the room.

The midwife looked around at her team, and nodded as they put Y/N’s feet into the stirrups. She sat on the bed, in the room alone with just a doctor and nurse. Y/N shifted into a comfortable position as a nurse on either side of her grabbed her behind her knees.

“Alright, and. . .push for me, push Y/N!”

Bradley gripped the chair as he waited across the hall, hearing the agonizing screams. Phoenix thought he was going to break the side of the chair, or punch a hole into the ground with how aggressive his foot was tapping. He kept his eyes trained on the door, waiting for the doctor to come out and tell them that Y/N did it, that she had a beautiful baby and everything was okay.

But Y/N’s body began to tire as the active labor progressed. She was making little to no progress in pushing. Her body was weak, and ready to give up. She leaned back against the hospital bed as one of her nurses wiped her forehead.

“I can’t do this,” She cried, looking up at the ceiling.

“You have to,” The doctor said, looking up at her, “You have to. You have no choice. Your baby will go into distress and so will you.”

For the first time in a long time, Y/N prayed. She prayed to whoever was listening, God, Jake, whomever. She closed her eyes and prayed that this was over, she prayed that this whole thing was some terrible joke, and she wasn’t alone having a baby. That her husband wasn’t dead and buried in some grave in the middle of a veterans cemetery. She prayed that Jake was right behind her, holding her hands and being her anchor as she pushed, like he had been with Alex. And someone had answered her prayers when the door to her room was pushed open, she opened her eyes to see who it was, too weak to put up a fight. She watched as he pushed over to her, the nurses moving and helping Y/N set up, so he could climb behind her.

“Bradley…” She cried, leaning her head back against him.

“I know,” Bradley, soothed her. The nurse handed him a damp rag to wipe her sweat, “I know he would do it if roles were reversed.”

“I need him,” She whimpered.

“I know,” Bradley clenched his jaw, trying to push back his own tears, “I do too. But you also need to bring this healthy baby into the world. For him.”

She nodded and gripped Rooster’s hands. She took a deep breath and listened as the doctor counted down. On one, she let out a loud scream as she pushed as hard as she could. Rooster clenched his jaw at her harsh grip, and flexed so she had something to bear against. Rooster whispered encouraging things into her ear as she used whatever strength she had buried within herself to bring the baby into the world.

When the melodic cry broke through the room, she leaned back against Bradley, completely spent. Bradley smiled, tears down his cheek as the doctor laid the new born against her chest. She looked down at the baby that was placed on her skin, a little girl with bright blue eyes, the same ones that Y/N had fallen in love with years before.

“We did it, Jake,” Y/N whispered and kissed her daughter’s forehead.

— — —

Bradley walked down the brightly lit hallways with Alex’s small hand in his. Alex clutched a teddy bear in his free hand (he insisted on bringing it to give to his sister). Bradley stopped outside of the correct room number and kneeled down in front of Alex.

“Alright, you look good,” Bradley said and fixed the blue patterned button up he put Alex in, “Hair looks good, shoes are cleaned, brush your teeth?”

“Yes!” Alex nodded.

“Good shit,” Bradley smiled, “Remember what we talked about in the car?” Alex nodded, “Your mommy is going to be very tired, and really sore. You have to be quiet, okay, your sister is probably going to be sleeping a lot at first.”

“Will she like me?”

“Yeah,” Bradley said, “You’re going to be the best big brother ever, I know you will.”

Alex launched himself at Bradley, hugging him tightly. Bradley grunted at the weight of the small boy hitting him, “I love you uncle Rooster.”

“I love you too, kid,” Bradley kissed his forehead, “Now come on.”

Bradley stood up and knocked on the door, hearing a faint invite to come in. The second that Y/N saw her little boy, both her face lit up. Alex grabbed Bradley’s hand feeling a bit nervous. Bradley gave Alex’s small hand a comforting squeez and walked towards the bed.

“Mommy!” Alex said, and Bradley picked him up, placing him on his hip.

“Hey,” Y/N smiled, “I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Alex said and leaned his head on Bradley’s shoulder, “Sissy?”

“Right here,” Y/N said and looked down at the bundle in her arms, “Hey Rooster.”

“Hey,” Rooster said and smiled, “I’m gonna put you next to your mommy, you have to be really careful.” Alex nodded and Y/N shifted over slightly, wincing in pain as Bradley set Alex on the bed next to her. Alex’s big blue eyes were enthralled with his baby sister, and his little hand reached out to touch the swaddle she was wrapped in.

“Can I hold her?” He whispered and Y/N nodded.

“Remember what I said?” Rooster asked him and Alex nodded.

“Like a football,” Alex said, and Y/N giggled as she placed her newborn in her son’s arms.

Bradley sat down in a chair next to Y/N’s hospital bed and let Alex look at his baby sister. Alex’s green eyes were wide with fascination as he looked at her. Even compared to Alex, Ella was small. Bradley snapped all the pictures he possibly could of the three of them cuddled into bed together.

“Wanna hold her?” Y/N asked Bradley, looking over at him.

“Yeah,” He nodded, “I don’t really know how-”

“Like a football,” Y/N smiled and Bradley chuckled, “Hand Ella to Uncle Rooster.” Y/N helped transfer the newborn from her son’s arms into Bradley’s. Bradley’s eyes lit up as Ella opened her’s and looked around. Y/N couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her chest.

“How does it feel to hold your goddaughter?” She asked him.

“My what-”

“Alex already calls you ‘Uncle Rooster’, so we thought why not make it official,” Y/N shrugged, “Only if you-”

“Yes!” Bradley said, cutting her off. Y/N giggled, watching Bradley hold her daughter. For once, Bradley felt like he belonged to a family. He wondered, is that what Maverick felt, all those years ago, watching Goose and Carole with Bradley? For years, Bradley had been searching for a family, finding love in the wrong places, having his heart broken repeatedly, but now he finally had it. Bradley cleared his throat, feeling tears in his eyes as he looked at his family.

“Hey kid, I’m your uncle Rooster,”

She was happy, yet sad at the same time. She could see the look in Bradley’s eye, the look of completion as she gently swayed with Ella in his arms. Y/N couldn’t thank Bradley enough for stepping up the past couple months, but she wished Jake could be here at this moment. Instead of Bradley, it was Jake holding his newborn. Y/N ran her hand through Alex’s soft blonde hair as he curled into her.

“I think I understand why your mom never remarried,” Y/N spoke, and looked up from her son. Bradley looked at her confused, “I don’t know how to love someone else besides Jake, the way I should. It wouldn’t be fair to whoever else came into my life. I had one great love in my life, and I was grateful to get two more out of it,” Y/N kissed the top of Alex’s head. The little boy turned around and smiled at her, “Jake Seresin was it for me. He was my wingman, my Goose, my forever. And I’m okay with that.”

--- --- ---

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sharpened--edges · 7 months

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Poor people, people of color, Indigenous people, queer people, and women receive the least benefit from the nuclear complex and are most exposed to its harm: the most toxic nuclear technology sites are located on Indigenous land and in proximity to poor communities and communities of color; predominantly Black cities are established as nuclear bait to protect the white suburbs, with the result that by 1984, an estimated 88 percent of the African American population would have been wiped out in the first minutes of a full-scale atomic conflict; safety standards regulating exposure to radiation are established based on the male body when women exposed to the same sources are 37.5 percent more likely to develop cancer; homosexuals are purged from the government at twice the rate of communists as the security of the nuclear complex is perceived to be threatened by their vulnerability to blackmail. As the activist Jan in Toni Cade Bambara’s The Salt Eaters (1980) argues to a friend who semijokingly wants to keep the struggle focused on “good ole-fashioned” racism, “They’re connected. Whose community do you think they ship radioactive waste through, or dig up waste burial grounds near? Who do you think they hire for the dangerous dirty work at those plants? What parts of the world do they test-blast in? And all them illegal uranium mines dug up on Navajo turf—the crops dying, the sheep dying, the horses, water, cancer, Ruby, cancer. And the plant on the Harlem River.... Hell, it’s an emergency situation, has been for years. All those thrown-together plants they built in the forties and fifties are falling apart now. War is not the threat. It’s all the ‘peacetime’ construction that’s wiping us out.”

Jessica Hurley, Infrastructures of Apocalypse: American Literature and the Nuclear Complex (University of Minnesota Press, 2020), pp. 14–15.

#jessica hurley #toni cade bambara

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fandomxpreferences · 2 years

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I Don't Remember Who I Used to Be

Pairing: Rooster x Pilot!Reader (female)

TW: angst, heavy alcohol use, fluff, mentions of death and grief, swearing, I think that's it.

Summary: Bradley knows you're struggling as the first anniversary of your near death experience is coming up. When you don't show up at the Hard Deck, and he can't get ahold of you he speeds home. What he finds breaks his heart.

Word Count: 3k

A/N: this is alot of angst and pain lol. There WILL be a part 2 to this. Please leave any feedback you have as always!

You were currently balled up on your bathroom floor with tears streaming down your face and an empty bottle of whiskey. You agreed to go out with the dagger squad tonight, but grief had other plans. You were fairly new to the group and the Uranium mission was the first time you had flown with most of them, Rooster being the exception. You had known him your whole life. He was the only person who knew why you had been reassigned from your last squad. The only person you would want in a time like this.

You stared at his contact debating on calling him before deciding against it and shutting your phone off. You already felt bad enough, you didn't need to feel like a burden too. It had only been a year, but it felt like you'd lost a decade of your life. The anniversary was coming up and nothing else could occupy your mind. You leaned back as scenes of that day ruthlessly flashed behind your eyelids.

It had been a routine mission. Everything should have gone smoothly, there was no reason to believe something like this would happen. Everything that could have gone wrong did. Your team leader was Razor and his wingmen were Thunder and Bambi. You had given Bambi her call sign when the squad went ice skating one year and she kept falling. She had been like a sister to you. You were flying solo and Raven and Cobra were behind you. Raven was getting married in a week and the six of you were talking about the wedding, already well on your way back to the carrier. You had already completed the mission, the hard part should have been over.

You were about to make a dig at Raven for deciding to wear a burgundy tux when his voice suddenly filled your ears. "Eagle 4 to comms, I've got a bogey on my tail. Are we expecting any friendlies?" Before he could get an answer his voice came through your headset again, this time more frantic. "Smoke in the air! Tally two, 6 o'clock! Deploying flares!"

He broke left with Razor while you and

Thunder cut to the right. You let the bandit chase you while Thunder tried to swing around and get a missile lock on him. He was able to shoot the enemy down but before you could take a breath, you heard Bambi yell that there was a third tally that they couldn't shake. You dropped in behind the bandit, but it was too late. Your heart stopped in your chest as you watched their jet go up in flames. You listened to their panicked voices as they yelled that they had been hit and tried to regain control.

You didn't even realize you had been screaming. "Bambi eject! Thunder Please!" Their jet was in an unrecoverable tailspin and they were running out of time. You watched in slow motion as the bandit locked another missile onto them. Everything happened in less time than it takes to blink, yet it felt like you had been frozen for hours as you watched the plane containing two of your teammates explode.

You were quickly pulled back to reality as you heard Razor's voice saying they had successfully shot down another enemy plane. But in what seemed like a sick cosmic joke, two more bandits came out of nowhere as soon as the words left his mouth. Raven was out of flares and Razor was running low. You heard him calling your name.

"Sonic, get this fucker off of me!" Razor was trying to get a lock on the bandit chasing Raven but the fourth bandit was gaining on him and he only had one flare left.

You jerked the yoke to the right, cutting a sharp turn before lining up your sights on the enemy. You were a good pilot. Great even. The top 1%. But it seemed the enemy was just as talented, as they anticipated your next move. They quickly dropped down and stalled out before coming up behind you.

The next few minutes seemed like an eternity as you and your team deployed flares and evaded the enemy. But luck was running out and you had just used your last flare. The three bandits seemed to have unlimited ammo and missiles and you were starting to think you weren't going to make it out of this alive. By this point, you only had two missiles left and there were three tallies.

You looked on in horror as Razor fails to escape a missile and his plane takes the impact. You close your eyes as you hear him scream before he's ambushed with gunfire and his plane crashes into the unforgiving water below.

You're outnumbered and neither of you have any way of protecting yourselves from incoming threats. The only saving grace was that the plane behind you seemed to be out of ammo too.

"Break left, Raven. We have to split them up." You watched as two of the enemy aircraft relentlessly pursued Raven and Cobra. Before you could process what to do, you felt your jet jerk suddenly before plummeting towards the earth. Apparently, the third bandit did have more ammo.

You hear raven yelling at you to bail out as you try to restart your engines. A few seconds pass before you realize you can't save yourself from the free fall and you pull the handle by your feet. The force of the ejection knocks the air out of you and causes your vision to blur.

Your parachute deploys, but you had been too close to the water for it to do much good. You braced yourself as you collide with the sea. Your body explodes in burning pain before you lose consciousness.

When you wake up, you're met with bright lights and a deep ache in your muscles. You blink a few times before you remember what happened. You try to sit up and let out a pained moan. You hear a chair scrape before a large hand envelops yours. Bradley was listed as your emergency contact.

You look at him and he gives you a small, tortured smile. "How are you feeling, killer?" You clear your throat. "Sore." He gives a small chuckle and rolls his eyes. "Well, yea I figured that."

You glance around the room and notice he's the only one here. "Where's Raven and Cobra?" You tense as his face falls. He averts his gaze to look at the floor before meeting your eyes. You didn't like the way he was looking at you. It was concern mixed with sympathy.

"Rooster, where the fuck are my teammates?" You heard the beeping on the monitor next to you speed up as you filled with dread and anxiety, praying he wouldn't say what you were thinking.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. They didn't make it." If you weren't in a bed you would have collapsed. Your breath hitched as your hearing was replaced with a muffled ringing. Your entire team was dead. Five of your best friends in the world.

You had been lucky to walk away with just a broken clavicle and some gnarly bruises. They held you for observation before sending you home. Bradley took some time to stay with you. You were grateful since you didn't have any family where you were and all your friends- well. You suppose you didn't really have any anymore besides him.

The next week goes by in a blur and before you know it you're saluting five empty caskets. The funeral was held with full honors on the day Raven was supposed to get married. You watched as his widow collapsed from grief and had to be drug away from the cemetery wailing.

Rooster gave you a few minutes before slowly and gently pulling you towards his bronco. He drove you home as you stared blankly out the window. The first couple of nights you had cried until you threw up. Now you were just numb. You didn't know if the gravity of the situation would ever truly hit you.

Rooster had spent the next week of his leave by your side, forcing you to eat and shower. In between, he just laid in bed with you and held you. Somewhere in that time frame, things changed. He went back to San Diego and you put in a request to transfer and be closer to him.

You couldn't stand the way everyone on base looked at you and whispered behind your back. Everyone either looked at you with pity or like you were a ghost. You wanted a new start. You couldn't bare to see Raven's fiancé around town and everywhere you looked you were reminded of a memory with your squad.

Over the next few months living in San Diego, your friendship with Rooster would evolve into a relationship as he helped you through the nightmares and made sure you were safe and taken care of.

Now, here you were on the verge of blacking out and all you could think was how you wish you died with them. You wanted to live. Really, you did. You loved Rooster and want a future with him. But every time you took a breath you felt like you were suffocating with guilt.

Guilt that you were here and they weren't. That you would get your white wedding, and see another birthday, and get to experience all the joys of life they were robbed of. You thought about it every second of every day and you didn't know how to be happy anymore.

Rooster had been at the hard deck for a while before he looked at his watch and realized you were supposed to be here almost two hours ago. Normally, he would just assume you had been tired and decided to stay in. But he knew what was coming up and he had noticed the shift in your behavior.

He checked his phone to find you hadn't texted him to fill him in on you staying home and began to worry. He moved to the patio outside as he hit call on your contact and brought the phone up to his ear. His stomach dropped as it went straight to voicemail.

You always had your phone and you were meticulous about keeping it charged. He called three more times before getting in his bronco and speeding home without telling anybody goodbye.

He pulled up to your shared home to find it dark and the patio light off. Now he was sure something was wrong. You always left the light on for him if he was going to be out late.

He jumped out of the truck and ran to the door fumbling with his keys. He looked around at the dark house calling out your name. "Y/N? Baby? Where are you?"

He began to panic when you didn't give him a response. He poked his head in the bedroom silently praying you were asleep and this was all just coincidence. His heart dropped when he realized he had no such luck.

He was about to call your name again when he saw light peeking out from the en suite. He tried to open the door only to find it locked. It was dead silent and he could tell something wasn't right. “Baby, unlock the door. You're scaring me.”

When he didn't get a response he gave you a warning. "Y/N, you have until I count to three to open the door or I'm kicking it down."

Meanwhile inside, you hadn't even registered his presence. Your vision had begun to go black and you were seconds away from giving into the darkness when the door came crashing down. Despite the loud noise and Bradley's frantic appearance, you barely showed any sign of acknowledgment besides a low groan.

Rooster's eyes widened as he saw the state you were in. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this. He looked over the scene in front of him and he felt his heart break. There was an empty bottle beside you and your cheeks were stained wit dry tears. Even with your eyes shut he could see they were red and swollen.

He felt tears prick his eyes as he knelt beside you. He gently grabs your head which has now lolled to the side and caresses your face. "Oh, sweet girl. What did you do?"

He checks your pulse as he splashes cold water on you trying to get you to wake up. He's seen you drunk before but never like this. He was beginning to wonder if he should call an ambulance.

"Y/N." After not getting any sort of answer, he lightly taps your face and says your name a little louder. "Y/N. Baby, I need to know if I need to get help." Any other time he would cringe at the desperation in his voice, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

You slowly peeked one eye open and gave him a sloppy smile when his face came into focus. "Brabley, when did you get here?"

He gave a small smile at your mispronunciation of his name before remembering the severity of the situation. Under different circumstances he would've found it adorable, but the way you were struggling to form words sent another wave of worry through him.

“Ive been here for a few minutes, pretty girl. How much did you drink?” He knew you at least drank the entire bottle of whiskey, but he needed to know if that was all you had consumed.

Before you could give an answer, you shot up. "I'm gonna puke." Bradley wasted no time in helping you get to the toilet and tying your hair back. He rubbed your back and neck as you emptied your stomach until you were dry heaving. It went on like this for a few minutes before you fell back onto the cold tile and laid your head on your arm.

While you were significantly more sober, you were still beyond what would even be considered wasted. At least now you could form somewhat cohesive thoughts and Bradley could understand your words.

He watched in silence as new tears started falling off your face and picked you up off the floor. He leaned against the wall and brought you into his lap. He knew this wasn't something he could fix, but he was going to try his hardest to help how he could.

When you registered Bradley's arms around you, you let out a tormented sob before collapsing fully into him. He held you as you cried and felt a few of his own tears slip out of the corner of his eyes.

"I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again. I promise." You don't say anything but he feels your breathing slowly even out and after a few more minutes it's quiet besides an occasional hiccup.

He sighs as he moves you to look at him. "You can't keep it all inside you know? Bottling it up won't do any good." You nod your head and he notices fresh tears on your waterline. You've sobered up more and you just want to crawl into bed. You have a splitting headache and your throat hurts from screaming and throwing up.

You ponder for a second before opening your mouth to speak. You know you need to talk now while your guard is down. You're still just drunk enough for your filter to be off and you'd never open up fully stone-cold sober.

Bradley watched as the wheels turned in your head and waited patiently for what you were going to say. "When they died, I feel as though I died with them. I watched it all happen and time stood still. I don't understand why I was the one who survived."

If possible, Rooster's heart broke even further as he watched the girl he loved bare her soul to him. "I almost quit flying. Every time I sit in the cockpit, it's all I can think about until my feet are on the ground again. I'm not the same pilot I was."

Bradley went to comfort you before deciding not to interrupt you. He just kissed your forehead as an encouragement to continue. "When Hangman made those comments about me not having what it takes and being afraid to take risks, he was right. I don't remember who I used to be."

You looked up at him and at that moment he noticed how small and broken you looked. A shell of the vibrant and fearless woman and pilot he's always known. "You're safe, Y/N. I won't let you go. Why don't we go to bed and we can talk about this with clear heads over breakfast?"

You nod your head and he pulls you to your feet. He helps you brush your teeth before leading you into your bedroom. You sit on the bed and watch as he flits around the room. After a couple minutes, he brings you your favorite shirt of his and a pair of sweatpants.

He helps you change out of your old clothes before tucking you into your side of the bed and kissing your head. "I'll be right back."

He comes back a few seconds later with a wet rag and gently wipes off all your makeup. You relish in how the cold feels against your burning skin as you feel yourself nodding off. You vaguely register the sound of Bradley doing his night routine before feeling the bed dip.

You scoot back as you feel his arms wrap around you and pull you into his chest. It doesn't take long before his warmth and steady heartbeat lull you into a peaceful slumber.

Rooster lays awake most of the night trying figure out what to do. He was aware you struggled, but it had never occurred to him just how much agony you were in. He knew you needed to discuss this tomorrow, but he wasn't even sure you'd remember all this.

He felt you snuggle in closer to him and breathed in your scent. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring. So for now, he decided to relish in the feeling of you in his arms, safe and warm.

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw #Bradley Bradshaw topgun #rooster top gun #rooster x reader #rooster imagine #top gun imagine #top gun maverick #top gun angst #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw angst

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