#Chances are I won't be doing shit

[skyberia]

i would like to take a moment to describe something that happens in the moralist route that drives me absolutely insane, for the sake of the people who've played through DE but cannot be bothered to be a centrist, just so you can... idk, inherit my brainrot (endgame spoilers ahead):

in the moralist route, the event quest you get for it is one where you get soona (or noid? potentially?) to help you turn the statue at the roundabout into a huge antenna to contact the moralintern airship that's flying above revachol, in order to tell them about the upcoming civil war in martinaise and/or the 2mm pale hole in the church and so on.

while you're trying to establish communications, you run into a lot of radio interference. it's a lot of people speaking in different languages, number stations, and so on, but then all of a sudden, you hear kim's voice.

"it's cold now..." he says. "... someone's been maintaining it, the wiring has been repaired..."

when you turn to look at him, kim's just as confused as you are. he insists he hasn't said anything, he doesn't know where that's coming from. it sure SOUNDS like him, but how can it be him when he's right there next to you?

soona cuts in and explains, this is just some pale interference. entroponetic crosstalk, it happens. "a particularly eerie speciment, but still just a harmless piece of the past returning to surface." and kim's like "right, i just wish i could remember what i was talking about..." that mystery solved, you resume your mission and continue trying to contact the airship.

but then, much, much later, after the tribunal, when you arrive at the island, you both walk into the seafort to find a generator. kim places his hand on it to check for warmth and then announces to you:

"it's cold now, but someone's been maintaining it. the wiring has been repaired."

neither of you acknowledge it out loud. there's no time, you have to question the suspect, you have to close the case, you have to move on. but still, inland empire reminds you, haven't you heard that before?

(and if kim doesn't make it to the island somehow, if he gets shot during the tribunal and you end up taking cuno with you, he's the one who checks the generator instead. "this shit's cold," he says. and inland empire Immediately senses that something's wrong.

"'It's cold now,' he was supposed to say. 'But someone has been maintaining it. The wiring has been repaired'..."

"But he's not here to say it. Something *else* got in the way. Events *intervened*...")

#disco elysium spoilers #de #just take one of the more mundane lines in the game & turn them into a fucking spectacle why won't you. Jesus christ #''yeah the pale contains information from the past'' And also the future. and alternate universes #but how would anyone even figure that out? how do you even verify that? haha. help #this is skipping over a lot of details btw. this is just the general gist of it. you should play the moralist quest if you have the chance #i think this counts as a halloween post. appropriately spooky shit i feel

[astaraels]

why do people think Yevgeny wasn't Mickey's son? in 3x06 there was clearly no condom used (not that Terry probably would have let Svetlana stop to get one), but there's no reason to think she wasn't using condoms with her regular clients. it's not Svetlana's fault that she was a tool used to rape Mickey—the sole blame for everything that happens in that entire situation belongs to Terry Milkovich and him alone—so why does it feel like it's just another way for people to shit on Svetlana for something that wasn't in her control? it's not as though she'd asked to get pregnant in the first place...

#stop giving svetlana shit just because terry was one of her clients—between him and sasha do you really think she had a chance to say no? #her attitude towards mickey is s4 is very easy to understand when you think about the fact that a) she's his age or maybe a year older #b) she is a person who knows she has to take what life gives her and make the best of bad situations #c) her entire future rests (so she thinks) on her and mickey making their marriage work and he was absorbed in ian (which the audience gets #but svet has no context for) and thus her feeling threatened is very understandable because mickey also won't stand up to his father #so yeah of course svet is gonna see terry as the one person who will put things the way they're supposed to be #but! it's after mickey comes out and he and ian fight everyone in the bar that she realizes mickey could be an ally to her #and she extends a hand in friendship because they're both stuck in this situation and yeah of course she wants him to stop being stupid #about yev—as she puts it “baby did not choose this either” which leads me to think she understands mickey's situation a little better now #but yev looks so much like mickey and has those big blue eyes of his (also evidence for baby mickey being blond) #I get that the whole child from rape thing isn't fun for mickey to have to deal with but women have to go through it all the time—like Svet #okay rant over I'm sorry I'm just...it puts a bad taste in my mouth whenever I see it in fic or meta that yev can't *possibly* be mickey's #mickey milkovich #svetlana yevgenivna #yevgeny milkovich #shameless

[elllteo]

Creators I love you but it's time to wake up

Among rumors about our tumblr user data being sold off to Midjourney/Generative AI, recent Extremely transphobic events (that have been ongoing) coming to a head, another extremely concerning internet censorship bill being pushed in upper levels of government, and a general air of frustration over how the site belongs to and is operated by perhaps the second stupidest CEO (second only to twitters own) of our age, I'm very done with the last few vestiges of what the old internet held for artists.

And if you're reading this, you probably are too.

I know we're tired. We are all tired. It is not always viable to pack up shop and move, again and again and again.

From tumblr to twitter to anywhere else we've ever grown up posting, things no longer work. Our audiences are kneecapped by aggressive and hostile algorithms, our reach is abysmal - if we aren't shadow-banned or silenced for one (transphobic) reason or another, we're thrust into an ever growing pit of hostility where the only thing that drives clicks is fighting and contention.

We're tired. We're so fucking tired. We aren't businesses, we aren't content mills, we cannot keep this pace that modern social media has set for us, to wring every ounce of creativity out of us to profit from and leave us rotting.

The key to staying afloat here, and I cannot stress this enough, is to stay connected to your peers.

Pack up and move as units if you must. Exodus from the sites that are killing us. Push your entire friend group of artists to move from one site to the next that promises you a kinder experience.

Art drives movements, it drives change, it is all that encompasses being human. If you take that away from the shitty places, they will be left with nothing but a cesspit of inhumanity and the people who follow you will be more incentivized than ever to move with you.

Yes, this is terrifying. There are no guarantees. There never was, and never are, and never will be.

But stay connected. Stay human.

Support each other and be willing to hold hands and jump when we all - as a group - need to jump from the flames we're all trying to convince ourselves wont kill us before rescue comes.

Rescue isn't coming, rescue will be found hand in hand with each other. I'm offering you my hand, please take it. There's always a new start, there are always helping hands reaching for you. You have to look up from the doom-scroll long enough to see and take them.

#art communities #art community #teo talks #sorry I have a Lot of opinions about posting art online I've been doing this since I was 14 and I'm 28 this year #I have watched the rise and fall of social media titans and you have to understand the ONLY thing that will keep you afloat #is keeping connected to your peers #we have to move as units and we have to stay together and we have to support each other #your following is not stability. your friendships are. #thats why you hear about networking. thats ceo talk for friendships. connections. #you have to have enough connections to build your own support web on the chance that everything goes to shit. yes its hard work. it sucks. #but it is a necessity. twitter isn't getting better. its not going back to how it was. neither is DA or tumblr. its not happening. #If you put all your eggs in one or two precarious baskets and both fall. you will be shit out of luck! thats reality #there is hope to be found but you have to be realistic and understand that you NEED to build up a presence elsewhere. even if its hard. #I want to help you if I can!!!! bluesky is a really solid twitter alternative!!! #ive heard good things about cohost as a tumblr alternative!!!! #sheezy and inkblot are both indie sites currently being developed by and for other creatives. support them! #they won't be perfect until - and UNLESS - you do! #anyways sorry I will step off my soapbox now Im just frustrated with the state of everything

[bonefall]

Feel free to ignore you've probably got a lot going on right now, but considering you know a lot about DOTC and Clear sky, I had a question...

We know that he's a terrible, misogynistic, woman beating and war mongering lunatic who was excused of all his actions because his equally misogynistic brother said " But-But he's nice! Deep down! This isn't the real him! "

But! In a world where the Hunters could write such a character, what do you think Clear Sky would look like as an actual sympathetic villain?

Idk if that makes sense, but what I've thought of doing is taking purely cannon Clear Sky and attempting to change him enough that he's still an antagonist, but not too far where only Reddit defends him.

I don't think he works as a sympathetic villain, on any level, ever. I think you're making a huge mistake to even try, and I have never seen an AU where it was done well nor am I interested in entertaining the thought.

Characters. Are. Tools. They exist to tell a story. The story that people tell me, by obsessing over some alternate universe where he was "ACTUALLY sympathetic and had a REAL redemption arc," is that they're not fucking interested in his dozens of victims. Nor do they actually care about the abusive impact he had on the minds and feelings of his family. They're JUST interested in Clear Sky himself.

Just like the Erins. Everything that happens in DOTC revolves around him. Everything. All his wives die so he can be sad about it. His brother defends all of his actions and BEGS you to sympathize with his pain so he can be 'redeemable.' One Eye comes out of nowhere so that there can be an example of "real" evil to contrast Clear Sky so he's less bad in hindsight.

The first three books of DOTC are bad, but the last three are fucking insufferable because SUDDENLY all that Gray Wing apologia pays off, and they take their main villain and throw him out a window. You CAN'T have "redeemable" Clear Sky and the plot of DOTC without dragging in someone else to drive the conflict, to BE the bigger threat to "unite" against. Slash and One Eye have to be conjured up out of thin air so Clear Sky can WHINE about how people only suck his toes instead of deepthroat them after he killed all their friends.

And yet, in spite of this absolute failure of an attempt, we continue to see this bullshit "redemption" be a mistake because Clear Sky is a fantastic villain, with major antagonist roles in nearly EVERY bit of follow-up material for DOTC that came after.

He's the most consistent monster in all of Warriors.

He's a fragile, egotistical, self-absorbed megalomaniac who ALWAYS sees himself as the victim, REFUSING to self-reflect and blaming everything else for all of his terrible choices. He will USE your love of him against you like it's a chain through your nose, step out of line and he will yank you into place with guilt trips, manipulation, public shaming, and violence.

He's a child abuser. He's a tyrant. He abandons the sick and disabled as soon as they're of no use to him, with grand speeches about "illness" and "weakness." He's a murderer who stands above the shredded corpse of his victim and bellows, "I'M NOT GREEDY! I'M JUST STRONG!"

And you'd write a "good" redemption arc for this, why?

Why are people so chronically unable to accept that there are LOTS of people like him, and you can't save your abuser? Why don't you ask yourselves why you're not interested in exploring Thunder, or Petal, or Gray Wing, and how his toxic influence impacts them? Why does the sympathy fall on Clear Sky? What about the DOZENS of victims who are dead by Book 3, and how THEY could have been saved?

Why ruin a perfectly good villain?

What's behind this trend where a billion people say to me, "Yes Clear Sky is a walking cavalcade of fucked up abuse apologia, and an incredibly realistic depiction of an abuser, but how would you change this while keeping it all the same?"

I wouldn't. You can't. It wouldn't be the same story, or it wouldn't be the same character. Never seen it done well, and I have seen it a lot. So I don't entertain this deeply frustrating "Well What If Clear Sky But Nice" impulse.

#The closest I'll ever get to that is Fallenleaf. And she lost it all #And spent years in the time-out tunnel #BAD KITTIES GO IN THE PEAR WIGGLER TO BE SUFFICIENTLY WIGGLED. #I don't think people in power typically change. If they do it's so rare it's not worth entertaining. Camel through the eye of a needle shit #and I mean ALL powers. this goes for abusive relationships too. I think they need to lose that power before they change. #When you have power. REAL power. You can fill those holes with it. You can force people to not leave. #so im actively hostile to stories that winge and cry about giving powerful people endless sympathy and chances #You've already shown me what you want to do with your power and as long as you keep it you haven't seen your consequences. #Power reveals. #It doesn't corrupt. It reveals. #DOTC hate #clear sky's redemption arc #If you're in an abusive relationship or under a terrible boss or in some other bad environment. You won't fix it. #You are not responsible for fixing it. #You can't fix it. #And they will not change. so GET OUTTA THERE #And that's who he functions best as. To me. #He's the bastard you need to escape. #And that's infinitely more compelling to me than Nice Clear Sky Attempt 32324 #I don't write stories that beg you to sympathize with tyrants and keep your heart open to some maybe-change on the horizon #I write stories where they ruin everything they touch and have to be forcefully yanked out of power before they hurt more people. #And also screw every related take that's like 'ohhh after 5000 years of having his toes sucked he regrets it a bit :(' #no he fucking wouldn't. he had his toes sucked for 5000 years. He's vindicated by how fondly he's remembered. #You can't fucking tell me that he doesnt REVEL in how violent the culture became. That him being offended about the clan's exile- #--was anything but him being offended his namesake was going away. That he wouldn't parade around like every choice he ever made was right. #''I made some vague mistakes which I will never name. BUT Im never wrong and always did it my way even if it was hard'' #If you haven't met a person like that I envy you. #bone babble #Nothing makes me mad quite like this character #Again I yell about his brother a lot because he's widely loved by the fandom

[front-facing-pokemon]

#solrock #now *this* is the fucker that the one raid battle NPC had in swsh that everyone hated. including me. he served only to remove lives #fuckin mashing the rock polish button the whole time or whatever it was. doing Nothing Else. i feel like a lot of people who usually did #raids offline had that fucker's name and face memorized. cuz they'd see that they got him and just give up right then and there #at a certain point i feel like offline raids were just not very viable. the NPCs they'd give you to battle with were just so bad #and some of the higher star raids you really needed the extra firepower you just couldn't get from those NPCs #but also they kinda removed a lot of the incentive for joining other people's raids considering your catch chance was lowered by like 9000% #if you weren't the host of the raid. and if you were the host the percentage chance was so high it was basically guaranteed #i don't think i ever ONCE caught a pokémon successfully when i'd joined someone else's raid. and i don't think i ever once failed to catch a #pokémon when i was the host of the raid. it's just. i dunno! i stopped doing raids at a certain point. some people can get a pokémon game #and play it long long after the main story bc they get invested in raids and shit but i just lose interest at a certain point unfortunately #as much as i enjoy the game while i'm initially playing through it #hff. anyway. i'm queueing this up the morning of june 30th‚ aka the day of my first flight in 10 years. so. this won't post until mid july #and i'll have been back for a while by then but for right now‚ me writing these tags‚ i am very Anxious #saur. haha. y'know how it is. have solrock

[halffizzbin]

The more times I re-watch Lost the madder I get that ANYONE still wants to leave the island once they discover there are showers and processed foods. What more do you even need? Smartphone-induced insomnia?? Office jobs????? Robocalls??? Vacuuming???? INCOME TAX????????

#I am specifically referring to the characters without any family or decent relationships back home lol #but like #I have parents and a sister and nephews and a cat #and I'd still be like. Not in a massive hurry #sure if you're not a main character there's like a 1% chance you get offed by an Other or Smoky or dynamite but is it worth it? Maybe! #and I would be forced to redirect my stimulation-junkie ADHD brain away from stupid shit and just obsess over learning new skills lol #teach me how to butcher a boar or something I'll get SO good at it just WATCH me #it will be all I care about for weeks until I find the next thing like throwing knives or tying knots or hand-to-hand combat #I won't have to grind my teeth over not being able to contribute to my Roth IRA EVER AGAIN #Do you even KNOW how many cool spiders they have in tropical locales? #My skin and my curls look SO good in humidity #JACOB #I WANNA GO #DO YOU HEAR ME JACOB???? #Lost

[meyerlansky]

I have successfully boiled my problem with most of the izzy reads that i hate down to a sentence:

he's not sexually repressed, he's emotionally repressed.

#they are different and ihave paragraphs and paragraphs of thoughts on it #but dressing like a leather daddy and holding your hand over an open flame and literally everything else he does #is not the behavior of a man who doesn't know or realize what gets him going #he's not closeted. he's not homophobic. he thinks having Any Positive Emotion not related to violence makes you vulnerable #[and he's right for his experience and circumstance but i won't touch that now] #his conflict is emotional; ed's ability to captain isn't compromised by his being attracted to a man. it's compromised by Having Feelings. #their ability to survive a world that wants them dead isn't compromised by either of them being queer; it's compromised by being SOFT #by having WEAK SPOTS #pets are a weak spot. lovers are a weak spot. get rid of them to stay safe. not out of spite. #not out of a disdain for those relationships themselves. out of disdain for what Feelings Do To You #idk man maybe i am simply emphatic about this nuance because i get—more than I would like—the impulse to be SAFE #even at the cost of your self and some chances at being happier #he doesn't even care that lucius is gay in the deck scene and i'd go so far as to say he doesn't really care that lucius is slutty #insofar as. like. he doesn't know him and pete are open. from a monogamy-normative perspective it's a betrayal. #your partner being unfaithful when you expect them To Be is ALSO A THING THAT CAN GET YOU KILLED #like idk i just. i think people don't get how much of him is about safety? #and i know the show's created this atmosphere of 'homophobia isn't a real threat' #but they haven't removed the violence and danger crews other than stede face for Other Reasons #so. he's very security-driven. and that's why he speaks to me. #and it's annoying that people just make 'lol izzy's closeted' 'peak homophobic gay' jokes instead of. engaging. with the shit izzy AND ED #went through to make them emotionally closed off the way they are #THE SENTENCE IS A SENTENCE BUT THE EXPLANATION SURE ISNT

[xhanisai]

I am so, SO happy that I'm seeing more people on twitter defending Alya and talking about how SOME people have done Marinette dirty in s5 and how said snakey characters continue to get their feet kissed by the fandom and have their actions blamed on "bad writing uwu"

There is a reason why the only characters I give a shit about are Marinette, Adrien, Alya, Nino, Tom, Sabine and kwamis atm

Many people need to understand that their fave characters aren't affected by "bad writing". They're just shit people in general sometimes lol.

#delete later #i will not put this in the main tags #i havent had the chance to talk to anyone about this but I'm so glad to see that I'm not alone with the same thought process #all i will say is that if I had a secret where if exposed could put myself and all my loved ones in danger #and someone i assumed was a good friend finds out #and instead of talking to me about it #they go blabbing to someone who put me and my loved ones in immediate danger cos of their selfish misguided whims and allowed the enemy to #get the upper hand over us #WE WOULD NO LONGER BE FRIENDS #I WOULD CUT THEM OUT OF MY LIFE #FUCK THAT SHIT #HIGHEST LEVEL OF BETRAYAL #and if i were to finally get with the boy I loved for a loooong time #only for said friend to constantly bitch about how he won't do anything and and being sour about it #and choosing to believe some random bitch who lied about me and using said lies to point fingers at me to justify why I shouldn't be with #the boy #yeah man that's one SHITE friend #YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND #i have actually been STEAMING about this for a little while since s5 ended #obviously if you connect the pieces then congrats well done #this isn't to attack anyone who stans these characters I really despise now #in fact i don't care if you love these characters or not #i am just so tired of seeing this hypocritical dumbass fandom constantly undermine alya and paint her as a bad person #when she's been the BESTEST friend she could have ever been DESPITE her flaws and mistakes #all whilst hyping up ALL THE CHARACTERS WHO HAVE DONE MARINETTE DIRTY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER #god i have been so stupidly mad about this it is hilarious now that I look at it #anyways alya deserves better and no one is a better bestie than her and chat noir for maribug #seethe you fucking fools

[moongothic]

Sketching out ideas for new sticker sheets on the off chance if I might get accepted to any artist alleys this summer, and wondering if I wanted to make any mini sticker sheets of the OG Shichibukai and if anybody would even buy those (like stickers of the most popular Shichibukai probs could sell but I don't think Moria or Kuma have huge fanbases, ya feel me?)

And I just kinda mindlessly sketched out Kuma like one of the tiny head bear plushies because. That is literally what he is and

Since it's likely he will never become a sticker. Please look at him.

#Moon posting #His chances of becoming a sticker depend on if I can draw the other Shichibukai looking equally doofy and small #(I'm thinking of doing like A7 sticker sheets because I dunno I feel like there could be a market for small stickers) #(Everybody loves a big sticker but you can only put so many of those on your item of choise before you run out of space) #(Point is; On a small sticker sheet there won't be much space for each character so they do have to be Quite Simplified) #((I mean I COULD do large sticker sheets too like my CritRole sheets were but then I'd have to draw the characters big)) #((And that shit takes infinitely more time maaaan)) ((The extra benefit of the small sheets is how much faster they are to draw))

[alexoreality]

You might not have to hear this but some one piece ships literally don't make sense that it gives me the ick 🥲 (some ships i just respect and leave alone, i'll color them in blue.) (And the ones that give me severe trust issues is purple)

AceSan - ...okay... The smirk...? What else...? Trauma bonding?? What...? I mean, its cute, i can leave the ship alone and its fans. I think this ship stemmed from the way Ace was drawn looking at Sanji *my boy was greasy* Y'all are horny though.- (sorry. But they'll get along so well with supporting and stuff- TRAUMA. MY GUY. I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT 😭

HanLu - thats a grown ass woman.

LawLu - and thats a grown ass man. (But Luffy's 19- AGE GAP???)

ZoSan - i'm sorry HUH. The two men that insult each other 24/7 were being shipped??? HUH. (But they respect each other- I KNOW THAT??? BUT GODDAMN THE FICS DON'T GET THEIR CHARACTER RIGHT 😭 ZoSan is a well-liked ship, but don't consider them canon and that they'll kiss after Zoro defeats Mihawk)

ZoBin - THAT IS HIS MOTHER FIGURE.

SaboSan - ...They never met 😶... and what if they do? Trauma bonding again?... Y'all I'm sorry but huh- how. Legitimately I'M SPEAKING RATIONALLY, HOW THE FUCK WOULD TWO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE??? THAT WAY???

UGH ITS JUST A 2D CHARACTER!!

Well DAMN YOU WEREN'T TREATING THEM LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS DISSING THEM??

#coming from a aroace so... y'all might think my opinion doesn't matter #my friends don't usually talk about their love lives in front of me cuz of it #but i've shown support and interest in them #i am the coach. not the player #zosan is really popular cuz they look hot with each other #i won't use their tags cuz i'm scared of getting comments #acesan i'll have a respect for since they do seem to have a chance to hit it off #also Sanji would've fucking kicked him if he tried 😐 #I once liked LawLu but i saw the red flags of the ship in general #age gap and all that also Law is stressed 24/7 with Luffy what #HanLu is just Hancock's reaction to a person treating her like a person. #and some people arr delulu enough to believe they'll be canon #SABOSAN. THAT SHIT EXISTS. Its funny that ASL is shipped with sanji and its Luffy having none of it bUT PEOPLE take is SERIOUSLY #i'm suffering what the hell #guys make the ship make sense #what?? the two of them look hot? #you think Franky isn't hot??? #SABO NEVER MET SANJI AND SANJI LITERALLY ONLH HEARS OF SABO FROM THE OTHERS #“its an au” well okay i won't argue there since ITS AN AU.

[dmclemblems]

people before three hopes: rodrigue doesn’t care about his son

my son

my son

thank you for taking such good care of my son

how fortunate he’s my son all the same I’m glad he has you to look after him

#Three Houses #Rodrigue #rodrigue calls him ''my son'' at every possible opportunity and i think that is very nice for him #if he truly wanted to distance himself from his own child then he would use his name and not refer to him #as specifically his child bc it would remind him/others that they're father and son #don't know why yuri knows what he knows but u know what it's yuri so i won't question it he just knows shit #but look rodrigue has always wished the best for felix even if felix didn't want anything to do with him #he never stopped trying to be a father to him or have a relationship with him #even with felix being so snappy and rude rodrigue still acknowledged him every chance he got and cared abt him #he's happy that byleth is his teacher bc he feels that he can't get through to felix and he's happy someone is around felix who can #in he can't do it he just wants to know someone else is out there who can care for him in the ways he can't #imo it's always been very clear and obvious that he loves felix and i don't think he was ever a BAD father #ppl just love smacking on that bad dad label without even paying attention to what's going on #it's not even fckn subtext lmfao it's literally right in your face #it's not his fault if felix doesn't want to talk to him and pushes him away. there's only so much he can do about that #he can at least still care about him and appreciate others being there for him #if you have a child who doesn't want to deal with you then as a parent you can still cherish them and see them as your kid #you can still want the best for them and talk about them to others and see how they're doing #no matter how much grief felix would give him anything at all rodrigue was still a parent to him #he didn't just call off being a parent to him bc of felix's feelings. he just dealt with it and continued doing what he could #you don't just stop being a parent bc your kid acts like that. rodrigue certainly didn't stop even in houses

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[hexiewrites]

i am literally fucking begging people to do the bare fucking minimum and TAG YOUR POSTS that could be potentially upsetting to people

yes, that includes post about what is happening in the middle east

i don't want to hear your weak fucking excuses - NEWS FLASH, there are people on tumblr who live in parts of the world where this is their daily experience, and maybe they are here (like the fucking rest of us) following FANDOM BLOGS to get a literal FUCKING BREAK from the actual and legitimate fucking HORRORS of the world

so tag. your. SHIT. PLEASE.

#rants #this is literally infuriating me #its so fucking unfair and unfunny #im blocking people over this by the way #like if you want to post about this fill your boots #but please do me and so many others the god damn decency to allow us to curate our social media experiences #on the ONE WEBSITE where thats still possible #i am completely off every other social media because the algorithm won't leave me alone #and i am dealing with enough of this in my day to day personal life i promise you #but here i have a CHANCE of having FIVE FUCKING MINUTES THAT IS ALL I WANT of normalcy #but i cant DO THAT if you dont TAG YOUR SHIT #if your post is just screenshots you need to fucking tag it because the filtered word blockers don't work #and you're actively harming people #so thanks for that

[cannibalisticskittles]

my builder is pissed at absolutely everyone inside this cell but they have never had any positive feelings towards yan whereas they Thought Miguel Was Their Friend (he came to their BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!) and pen was at soulmate-level, so. while yan definitely deserves a verbal beatdown, the one he receives is.... going to involve a lot of rage that is really meant for the other two that my builder isn't able to express towards them right now. but he's an asshole, so while it's technically misplaced, it's still deserved.

mentioning mi-an is also a terrible choice bc it just reminds her of how much of an ass he's been to mi-an, who is, by all accounts, a very nice girl. that just turns the rage back to full force. very "and ANOTHER thing!"

#my builder: sure yan. now that you've mentioned mi-an i'll help you escape. i'll even let you be the one to unlock the door. #my builder: first just stick your hand through the bars :) #and then of course when he does they grab his hand and start bending his fingers back #my builder: yan. yan listen. stop yelling and listen. i'm not gonna hurt you much. i just want you to know that i can. #my builder: as long as you stay put in that cell you're safe as houses. snug as a bug. all your needs taken care of. #my builder: but if you ever get free? #my builder: i will find you. i will bring you back here. and i will bury you so deep even the buzzards won't find your bones. #mtas #mtas spoilers #mtas yan #mtas pen #mtas miguel #which she's yelling at him for being a terrible boss and a shit person it's pretty normal #when it starts to delve into 'people would DIE if your plans worked and duvos swept in do you understand that? they would DIE.' it's... #still relevan bc while his part in this is smaller it still would have the same result. but everyone there knows he doesn't care. #miguel and maybe pen are the ones who that speech needs to be directed to #but. she can't look at them without also wanting to cry and she is NOT going to do that damn it she will cry #yan tho? no chance of crying when she sees him. he just sucks. 100%. #so he's the one who gets yelled at. he's the proxy for the points she's making

[yardsards]

adulthood is just visiting ur friends, saying "damn bitch, you live like this?" (affectionate) and aggressively helping them clean up while they politely tell you that you don't have to do that. and then having friends do that to you when they visit your apartment.

#eliot posts #one of my friends often does not make his bed and sleeps on a bare-ass mattress so i INSIST on at least putting a fitted sheet on #(and then normally just fully make the bed too bc might as well) #i tell him to ''stop rawdogging the mattress''/''put some protection on that nasty thang'' #bc i of course must use the most cursed language available #it only takes like 5 minutes to do and is very worth it #and then i have this second friend who takes this to a whole nother level #he does my dishes every time he visits and lemme tell you. the dish situation around here gets DIRE. #he did like 4 sinkfulls when he was here last #and motivated me to clean the rest of the kitchen while he did that #it took like an hour and we ran out of hot water #but WAY faster than if i had tried to handle that shit alone #and we had fun and jammed to 80s music #another person i'm only loose friends with but i helped her clean a ton of trash from her dorm last time i visited #bc she was on the tail end of a depressive episode and i KNOW how that is #this only works w certain kinds of cleaning tho. you can't tidy up/organize other ppl's shit‚ for example #bc you don't know where anything is supposed to go and you'll likely make things more difficult in the end #amd it just requires you to handle all their personal belongings and open their drawers and shit #and there's a 90% chance that'll make them uncomfortable and like you're violating their space #but shit like dishes is generally very much fair game and won't make them uncomfortable #tho sometimes you gotta ask if there's a specific way they like their dishes washed bc some ppl are picky abt that #ANYWAY #is it obvious my love language* is acts of service? #*(tho the 5 love languages thing is a VAST over-simplification and things are not actually clear cut like that)

[six-improbable-things]

Behold, a playlist titled "songs to offend your grandparents with". I plan on subtly queuing it up after the songs I'm choosing for my mom in the car next week, and seeing what my grandparents have to say, askdjaskdj.

#morrigan.text #reasonings: #god is really real because my grandparents are religious and I wanna hear their reaction to ''god is fucking fake'' #you'd be paranoid because it's a weird-ass song with some strange lyrics. #stay frosty because I just wanna see how they react to fall out boy. #enemy because I plan on casually bringing up to my mom that it's about being queer and I wanna hear my grandma's reaction #wish you the worst because it's such a ''fuck you'' song #achilles come down because it's a very non-traditional song and I also want the chance to explain shit about it. #i miss having sex because it's another weird-ass song and i wanna see their reaction to the title. #wilson because the lyrics are weird as shit and also... it's fall out boy #lilith is pretty self-explanatory I think #you may be asking ''do you really hate your grandparents?'' and the answer is ''maybe.'' I also just enjoy fucking with people. #and listening to some good music and hearing someone swear for once won't kill them.