#But I'll spend it doing the things I love I still get depressed and sad from time to time and think everyone hates me but it's like RSD and

[me-loving-woso]

The Aftermath

Hello Tumblr and Hello readers.

This is Part 3 of Monthly visits. I really hope you enjoy it. I’m already working on Part 4, so hopefully you won’t have to wait that much. Does this part end in a cliffhanger? Yes. Am I sorry about it? No.

Let me know if I should continue this series. Hope you enjoy this!

The past few days have been incredibly challenging for you. Ava's room was finally finished, so you had to help her move to the room and Lucia finally decided to join La Masia, so you went with her to sign the contract.

Things with Alexia have been really in a weird place. You still remember vividly your conversation with her that day after she called for a break.

"So you want a break from me or the kids?" You ask, nearly crying, changing your position on the bed to sitting, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know, okay! These past few weeks have been overwhelming; I thought I could handle it. Then, Mom began talking about holidays and Christmas, and I guess I didn't think about it before? I don't know, it feels like my life has been changing so much, and I can't keep up anymore." She says clearly, in a very anxious state. "And above all of this, there is the World Cup, and I have all this pressure put on me, and I just want to disappear." She gets out sobbing, making your heartbreak. 

"Hey, hey, look at me." You gently take her face, turning it to you, wiping away her tears. "Since when has this been going on?"

"Since I got called up for the World Cup."

"So two months ago." You say more to yourself. "Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"You had already been dealing with your problems; I didn't want to add to anything."

"You are not a problem to me, okay? If you are happy, I am happy. If you are sad, I am sad. Whatever you need, I'll always be with you. I love you. And I know I don't say it much, but I probably should have. I love you." You began leaving small kisses on her face, trying to kiss away the tears, "What do you need?"

"I need not feel so broken and out of control of my feelings." She says, keeping her gaze down.

"It's alright to feel broken every once in a while, and it's alright to feel out of control. If you need time, I can give it to you. I'd rather lose you for a while than for the rest of my life. I'd wait a thousand lifetimes for you because you are worth waiting for. So when you are ready. I'll be right here." Your eyes start to water, too, as you understand what this entails. You shift on your bed, hugging her. 

"I love you so much, Alexia. I don't know what I would do without you. You really changed my life for the better. You are the love of my life. The only person I imagine spending my life with. And I swear to God, or whatever is up there, that one day I'm going to marry you, and I'll finally feel like I deserve your love."

"You know, you never said that."

"What?"

"That you wanted to marry me." She smiles shyly, keeping her head on your shoulder, hiding in the crook of your neck.

"Of course I do. I can't wait to be your wife and call you that." You pause, taking a deep breath, making her move her head to look at you. "But before that, you must focus on yourself and be good and happy. I want a happy wife, okay? Not the depressed ones you see in the movies that drink an absurd amount of wine and pass out. I want you to be happy. And if, eventually, I am not part of that happiness, I still want to see you happy." She nods, giving you a light kiss on your hand. "I want you to have fun at the World Cup and kick ass, okay? If you ever need me, I'm a phone call away."

That night was the last time you saw her. You told yourself you wouldn't call or look at her Instagram; it would be too painful. So you decided to distract yourself, of course, still having as first priority the kids. 

-

The first thing you did was go to the pitch. You decided to take Lucia and Ava with you, the older girl was about to start the season in Barcelona B, and you couldn't be happier for her. 

You were practicing free kicks and penalties. You and Lucia were in a clear competition while Ava was just there having fun with the ball. After a while, Ava got bored, so she decided to stay on the sidelines in the shadow playing some games on your phone, which left you and Lucia on the pitch.

"Where is Alexia, by the way? I haven't seen her all morning." She asks out of the blue, catching you off guard.

"She left for the World Cup." You reply coldly, quickly passing the ball from one foot to the other, then shooting hard to the goal post, scoring a top bin.

"Aren't they leaving in like two days?" She replies, clearly not getting the point.

"Aren't you asking a lot of questions?" You glare at her, then realize that your tone slightly hurt Lucia. "I'm really sorry, Lucia. I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"No problem, I'm used to it anyways." She rolls her eyes, closing off, then walks away.

You were feeling guilty; you really didn't want to hurt her feeling, so you told her the truth, "She left."

"What?" She turns around, looking at you. 

You take a deep breath, "She left me."

"Wait, what? You broke up?" She says, shocked at the revelation, fully turning her body to you, taking a step towards you.

"I don't know. I'm sorry I snapped at you; you took me off guard with the question, and I still haven't fully processed it."

"It's okay. I just overreacted." She pauses. "I'm really sorry about Alexia. Do you need a hug?" She asks awkwardly.

You chuckle. "No. It's better not. If you will, I'll start crying. And I am an ugly crier, especially when it comes to Alexia. And I don't think none of us want to experience that."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I will be." You release a shaky exhale. "Now, let's go back home. Ava here is getting too bored." You wrap your arm around Lucia's shoulder and take her to her sister.

-

As you get back home, you decide to go and take a shower, and there you silently cry until no tears are left. You then change into something comfy and go outside to your garden, trying to get some fresh air, and for the first time during the day, you check your phone. There were multiple missed calls from Alba and one from one of your best friends, Mapi. You knew that you had to call back both women, so you opted to go first with Alba. You knew it would be a sad call and hoped that calling Mapi after would cheer you up.

Spoiler Alert: It didn’t.

You take a deep breath and call Alba; she almost immediately picks up.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Alba asks almost immediately, quite sadly. You really didn't want her to pity you.

"You already know the answer, Alba." You smile sadly, "How is she?" You couldn't not ask about her; even though you tried to keep some distance, you still wanted to know how she was doing.

"She is miserable and guilty but knows she must focus on herself now."

"Did you tell her she doesn't have to feel guilty?"

“Y/n.” She replies sternly. "She might be my sister, but that doesn't mean I must agree with everything she does."

"Alba, we know how your sister deals with the pressure and anxiety. Alexia has always been very sensitive. She doesn't deal well with that kind of thing; when she was younger, she had her father and football that kept her going on and deal with the pressure. Now she only has football. You can't take that away from her."

"But she can take you out of her life?"

"That is an unfair question." You clench your jaw, trying to keep at bay your own feelings.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry."

"Just know that I only want what is best for your sister, and if she really wants to, she will return; I really hope she will."

"She will." She says a little too sternly. "Or else she won't hear the end of it from me and Mom."

"Just please, stay with her, support her, and care for her. She needs it now more than ever for this World Cup."

You soon end the call after that, and after taking a minute to ground yourself, you call your best friend. She, too, picks up very quickly.

“Y/N!” She screams in your ear excitedly, .

"How was Norway? Did you already come back? Are you already in Barcelona?" You reply as excited as you can, given the circumstances.

"Norway isn't that bad; I missed Barcelona though; Ingrid made it worth it. How are you? How's Alexia?" You could feel her smile through the phone. 

"Mapi, you have been away for a month; I have some news to share, big news, actually."

"Oh my God, did you get engaged?" She replies excitedly; without making your reply, she continues, "Oh my God, I'm so happy for you guys! And yes, of course, I will be your maid of honor, and yes, of course, I already planned your bachelorette par-"

"Maria calmate, I didn't get engaged." You reply sadly while feeling utterly sick to your stomach from the sadness of the situation.

"Then what is the big news to share?"

"I think I need to tell you in person about it."

"Oh, you can't leave me hanging like that!"

"Come over, and I'll tell you." You say, nearly reaching your point of total exasperation, you knew she wouldn't budge, but you also knew it was best to tell her in person that you have children now.

"A small hint?"

Losing your patience from your long day, you went straight to the point, "I adopted two children, and Alexia and I are on a break." You say, feeling a knot closing your throat.

"Ha ha, a good joke; tell me the truth."

"Mapi, I'm not joking." You say while your voice is wavering. She never heard you cry.

"I'm coming over." With that, she closes the call leaving you with a small tear running down your cheek.

You go inside and find the two girls watching something on TV.

"So girls, change of plans; a friend of mine is coming over, so you will meet them."

"Is it someone from the team?" Lucia asks.

You nod, "Guess."

"I know you are friends with Mapi; is it her?" Ava says excitedly.

"Yes, it is her, but that doesn't change anything. Bedtime is always at the same time." 

"But-"She tries to find an excuse, but you interrupt her, "No buts, you will definitely see more of her, so don't worry." She lightly pouts, reminding you of Alexia and how she uses the same facial expression. 

When you hear the doorbell ring, you open the door, finding your best friend in front of you for the first time in a month. You share a hug, then she asks, "So what happened? What is all this about?" Trying to make sense of what you said in the phone call. "Or was this a way to make me come over?" She gives you a mischievous smirk.

"Even though I missed you, it's not. I'll let you meet the kids, and we can talk later, okay?"

"So it wasn't a joke?" You shake your head, annoyed, "Then this 'talk' will take a while.”

She enters your home and makes her meet the girls. In the beginning, Ava was very shy, hiding a little behind you. But, as soon as Mapi began asking for her attention, she gladly gave it to her. Whereas Lucia was trying to keep it cool. 

Your teammate, in the meantime, was giving the older girl a weird look as if she was trying to remember something. 

"Do I know you from somewhere?" She asks, mostly rhetorically. Your friend had a memory of steel. "Wait, you were the girl that won the meet and greet."

Lucia shyly nods.

"I remember you because you were the first kid I met after joining Barcelona. You were so excited to meet your favorite players. But then, when you found out that Alexia and Y/n weren't there, you were so sad." She chuckled. "You must be happy living with your favorite player now." She says while looking at her smirking and then glancing at you.

"Oh yeah, they never shut up about Alexia. It's so annoying." You chuckle, crossing your arms, looking at both girls as if you unveiled one of their secrets.

"Oh no, if I'm not wrong, Alexia wasn't your favorite player," You could see Lucia changing expression in one instance, trying to communicate with Mapi to stop talking, she was shaking her head, widening her eyes. She was embarrassed, and you could see it from miles away. "Your favorite player was Y/n Y/ln." She chuckles. 

You turn around facing her, utterly shocked, wearing a proud smirk.

"She couldn't stop talking about how much she loved to see you play and how she couldn't wait for you to win the Champions League. It was quite cute, actually."

 "Now. Now. Lucia. Now that I have this information, you know you'll never hear the end of it, right?" You chuckle a little, making the girl slightly blush from the embarrassment but quickly recovering.

"You really had to say it?" Lucia asks Mapi, shaking her head. 

"Of course she did! Do you want an autograph?" You joke.

"Oh my God! Stop it!" She says, smiling, clearly not enjoying your teasing.

"Lucia, pay some respect to your favorite player!" Mapi retorts, then she bursts out laughing.

"Yeah, Lucia! Pay some respect. In this household, we don't condone this disrespect, especially when talking about your idols." You finish the teasing while she rolls her eyes, "Moving on, who's up for some food?" You ask, turning to the three girls around you. 

You decided to order pizza again; you really had to begin doing some serious grocery shopping. 

You were so happy that your best friend met the two girls that you loved so much, and you were even more delighted when you saw that they got along great; it was nearly perfect. Only a person missed for it to be perfect. 

That night you played games together, and when it was time to go to bed, Ava apprehensively went to bed after some convincing.

"I think I'm going to bed, too," Lucia said soon after her sister left for her room.

"You know you don't have to; if you want, you can stay with us." You offer.

"Nah, don't worry. I'm tired, and I have some episodes that I have to catch up with." She says, heading to her room. "Goodnight!" She says, while you and Mapi reply in the same way. 

-

After a month of not seeing each other, you were left alone with your best friend.

"So, the girls are great!" She says, clearly trying to begin all the explanations you had to give her.

"Before I begin explaining everything, I need a drink." You go to your kitchen, open the first bottle of wine, and then go outside with your friend.

You sit at the table, basically downing your glass of wine. You took a deep breath then you began explaining everything to her. First, how you met the kids and what made you adopt them, then you talked about what happened with Alexia, reserving some of the most private details.

"She told me she needed a break because she was getting too overwhelmed, and of course, I let her."

"She's an idiot. She'll come to her senses, believe me. You and her work so well together; it's almost annoying. I don't think I could ever see you guys break up." You knew that she would be sad about Alexia leaving you, as she was the person that indirectly put you two together in the first place. 

"Me too. But I guess nothing good ever works out perfectly." You reply sadly, looking at your glass of wine just poured. "I even bought a ring; I would propose after the World Cup. I had everything planned. Our honeymoon, the wedding date, everything. I'm so delusional." You realize, sadly.

"Hey, hey, Y/n, you are not delusional." She reassures you, taking your hand. You look up at her with glassy eyes, looking at her skeptically. "She wants the same things as you do. It might not seem like it right now, but you'll have your happy ending in the future."

"You know what I hate about all of this? The fact I still don't know what made her decide to want to leave me. Is it me? The kids? She said she couldn't deal with the constant pressure anymore, but what made her change her mind about me? Fuck! Am I not enough? In those three years that we've been together, we've gone through so much, from dealing with my own shit to her ACL; I thought that what we had was good, great even. I thought that taking the next step would be the best thing, you know, she would give me hints too that she was waiting for the proposal. So I thought she was sure about us, but I guess I was wrong? I don't know. I really don't know." You sniff, trying to keep in tears, then you quickly backtrack. "I'm really sorry; I shouldn't be dumping you like that; I know I am talking about one of your best friends too."

"No, Y/n, you can talk to me about it. You are one of my best friends too, okay? And I'm here for you. For whatever you need. And now that you have kids. Thanks for telling me right away, by the way," She remarks ironically, earning a chuckle from you, "I'll be the best aunt they ever had."

"I know you will." You give her a faint smile.

--

--

From your talk with Mapi, you realized one thing, which is that the kids should be your first priority, and everything else would come second. 

You tried to deal with Alexia leaving after three years of relationship, in many ways. Normal people would think that you went to therapy, as this whole situation was making your abandonment issues from your parents surf up, but instead, you coped differently: watching Grey's Anatomy, the first seasons obviously. 

That show was oddly comforting for you, for many people, such as Alexia, were adamant about watching it at first. You tried to convince her to watch it for three years, but she never budged. So now that she is gone, you thought it was the best time to watch it again. You usually watch it after Ava’s bedtime. You would put it on your TV for a couple of episodes. Initially, you didn't go in order; you just watched the most painful episodes. In all of this, Lucia would be like Alexia; she would roll her eyes when you watched the show and then go and mind her own business. You often offered her to come and watch it with you, but she wouldn't; you jokingly called her a girl full of prejudice, while she replied that she wasn't as lame and soft as you. But you could definitely see her stealing some glances at the show. 

What you didn't know was that Lucia and Mapi were keeping in touch. A phone call happened, and Lucia told your best friend that you began watching the show; needless to say, Mapi was concerned because she knew that you only watched the show when you were on the verge of a mental breakdown. She told Lucia that she would be coming over soon, as she left town for a couple of days. But you still didn't know that.

That left you one night while you were watching a really intense episode. Lucia came out of the kitchen, passing through the living room, trying to get to her room, but she suddenly stopped looking at the screen. "Wait. Where is the brunette? The best friend of Meredith, I think. Wasn't she supposed to be in the show from day one?"

"She left," you replied, not taking your eyes away from the screen.

"Wait. What?" She says surprised, taking a seat next to you. You gave her a pillow.

"Yep."

"Is it okay if you put an episode from the beginning?" She asks shyly. You beam at her and switch on to the first episode.

And that is how Lucia began watching Grey's Anatomy. And what shocked you the most was that she was an emotional kid, and she got really invested really quickly, but what was funny was that she tried to hide it, but she never managed to do it properly, silently sobbing when characters died.

A week after, you were so invested that you watched it in all of your free time. You knew that it wasn't healthy. Especially for you, but it looked like she was enjoying herself, so who were you to stop her from watching something she loved. 

That day you were watching the bomb episode; Ava left with Nico to get some stuff for his shop, leaving you and Lucia with time to kill, so you put on the show, and both decided you were up for a show marathon. As you got up to get some water for the both of you, you heard a knock at the door.

"Hey Mapi, what are you doing here?" You ask happily, being surprised you were seeing your friend without her telling you beforehand.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, why?" You ask her, clearly hiding the fact that you were watching Grey's Anatomy.

"You are watching Grey's Anatomy again, right?"

"No, I am not!" You say defensively.

"Stop bullshitting me, Y/n. Do you remember after we lost the Champions League last year against Lyon? You began watching that freaking show because you thought it could bring you some comfort, but instead, it made it worst!" 

"That's not true!" You bark, even though you know it is the truth. "And you can't barge in like this, into my home unannounced, making wrongful claims." 

"Lucia told me to come."

"And since when you and Lucia talk?"

"Since the night we met, so where is she?"

"Oh, you'll love what you are about to see." You chuckle, taking her to the living room.

When she saw Lucia watching the show, her face was adorned with the most disgusted and offended look.

"Lucia?" She says, making her turn around quickly, giving her a guilty expression.

"Okay, this is not what it looks like. It's-It's Y/n's fault."

"Oh don't blame me! I didn't force you." You say, showing the palms of your hands.

"Okay, you two. We are going out. The both of you. We are going on the pitch; get ready. Where is Ava?"

"With Nico." You reply. 

"Tell him we'll be out for at least two hours."

As you get in the car with Mapi, she keeps her eyes on the road without giving you another glance. Leaving Lucia and you with an awkward silence.

As she gets to the parking lot of the training grounds, she makes you exit the car and turns to Lucia. "Have you already been here?"

"Yeah, Y/n takes me at least once a week." 

Mapi looks at you surprised while you comment proudly, "Mark my words, she's going to be the future of Barça." Lucia blushes lightly, staring at the ground.

"I'm not that good." She says, nearly whispering.

"Don't you dare underestimate yourself! At your age, I was not even near as good as you. And you didn't even start training! Imagine then." She curls her lips in a small smile, heading to the entrance of the pitch.

"Did Y/n tell you about how we got the keys to this place?"

"Oh yeah!" Lucia chuckles, "She told me that you got drunk and wanted the keys, and Alexia had to save you."

"So, are we also changing this story?" Mapi asks you accusatively, making you sigh.

"Okay, maybe I embellished it a little." You grin guiltily.

"So what happened?" 

"She was the drunk one!" Pointing the finger at you while you rest your forehead on your hand, shaking your head, not looking at Mapi. "And then, with some excuse that I don't even remember she lured us into helping her get the keys. Needless to say, she couldn't keep quiet, so her plan went to shit. She couldn't think properly because she was very drunk. She called Alexia, who was partying with the other girls because we had just won our first Champions, crying."

"I wasn't crying."

"You were sobbing because you couldn't figure out where the keys were, even though you claimed you knew where they were. And then Alexia came to the pitch, worried sick, and helped us find them. Which is something I would have never expected her to do."

"Well, she definitely told me another story." Lucia chuckles.

"Well, okay, I may have skipped some of the most lame parts of the story because it was the second time I saw you, and I wanted to not sound too lame." You reply, a little embarrassed.

She places her hand on your shoulders and smiles at you. "But you are lame."

"How dare you talk like that to your football idol?!" You say, faking being offended.

"I can, and I will!" She begins running to the pitch while you follow behind her trying to catch her. Spoiler alert: you couldn't. That girl was fast. Too fast.

After a little while, you both stop, taking a break. You put on your shoes and begin passing the ball to each other in a triangle. Then you leave Mapi and Lucia to play alone while you sit on the grass, smiling at their interactions.

-

You were more than halfway through July, meaning the World Cup was about to start. Even though you decided not to participate, you still told yourself you would watch all the Spain games. You had friends and teammates in that squad and wanted to support them. You and Mapi had the same idea, so you hosted a little get-together with other Spanish teammates who didn't attend the World Cup. Of course, you chose to tell all of your teammates about the kids and the adoption but refrained from talking about the Alexia thing. Initially, they were shocked that you had two children now, but then they were very happy for you. 

So you found yourself on the day of Costa Rica against Spain, with many people in your home, all commenting random shit on TV. You were wearing your old Spain shirt with the number 10 behind it, while Lucia and Ava wanted to wear Alexia's. You let Ava wear one of the old shirts Alexia gave you at the beginning of your relationship with her. While with Lucia, you basically forced her to wear a Spain shirt with your name on it, claiming that "You have to wear the shirt of your favorite player, and you are lucky enough that you live with her." You loved teasing Lucia about the fact that you were her favorite player, and loved even more her annoyed reactions.

The two girls looked too cute, making your heart swell. So you posted a story on your Instagram showing the two backs of the shirts and the tv behind, with no caption. You still had to wait for everybody to come when you received a text from Alexia. 

'Love the fits ;).'

You reply almost instantly, with your fingers trembling, as it was the first time you spoke to her since she left that night. 'They look so cute in it!'

‘I still don't know how you convinced Lucia to wear one of your jerseys, though…’

‘Long story’ You simply reply. This conversation confused you, as she wanted to keep talking to you. At the same time, she was the one that wanted a break, but you kept on replying to her, as you really missed talking to her. 

'You'll tell me when I get back?'

You are about to reply when you hear a knock on the door, so you leave your phone on the table in your living room and go to the door. Mapi, Sandra Paños, Patri, and Claudia quickly enter your home, clearly looking for something.

"Nice picture you put up on your insta." Mapi remarks, "People are going to ask why you have two kids on your story and why you were watching a Spain game when you were part of the 15 people that refused to participate in the selecciòn."

"Make them talk about the kids; I'll discuss everything with Lucia in the future. And for the story, I'll just say it was in support of Alexia and nothing more, which is true." You explain to your best friend. 

"So, where are the kids?" Sandra, the goalkeeper, asks you.

"They are in the living room."

After your teammates meet the two girls, you all order pizza and wait for the game to start. 

You picked up your phone and saw that Alexia sent two other texts to you.

'Wish me luck (luck-clover emoji).'

'I miss you.'

You released a shaky exhale and decided not to reply; it was hurting you too much to respond to any of it. It was unfair of her to send you that last text, and it wasn't fair to you to reply.

During the game, when Alexia did something remarkable, as always, your friends, who were clueless about your break with her, would always make little comments about her and you, which you would shrug off, but Mapi and Lucia immediately understood that they were making you a little sad.

Spain managed to win that game by a very narrow margin. 1-0. You knew that they could've won by much more. You could see that by how they played, something was missing. Alexia's performance was clearly below her average, which made you low-key very worried. You see them return to the changing room, and then you switch off the tv. All the people in the room began talking and joking with one another, mainly focusing on the two kids that you had in your home; okay, a kid and a teenager, but for you, Lucia will always be a kid.

After a while, you receive another text from Alexia, making you feel bad that you weren't replying to them. Which she wrote

'You all were right about Jorge. I should have stayed home.'

You reply to this text, saying, 'I'm sorry, Alexia. He's an asshole.'

What actually had shaken you up from the text wasn't the fact that Jorge probably verbally abused many of your friends and teammates from your national team, which still made you angry as shit, but actually was that she said that she should have stayed home. Was she saying that she regretted going to the World Cup? Or was she regretting leaving you? 

Mapi realized you were having inner turmoil and dragged you to your kitchen, asking what was happening. You showed her your phone, and she looked at you surprised.

"Since when has she been texting you?"

"Since today." You put away your phone, "I just don't get what she is doing. What she wants from me. And I know for sure that she is going through worse than me. But this is fucking torture, and the worse thing is that she doesn't even realize it."

Mapi didn't have the time to reply that a very tired Ava came to the kitchen searching for you.

"Mo-, Y/n, I'm tired."

"Do you want to get to bed?" You ask her smiling as you know the subsequent request that she will make. Over the weeks that she stayed at your home, you started giving her piggyback rides to the bed, making her fall into her bed, earning a laugh from her. Then you would tuck her bed sheets, giving her a good night.

She slowly nods, raising her arms and making grabby hands. You chuckle at her and turn around, waiting for her to jump on your back.

You put her to bed, give her goodnight with a kiss on the forehead, and return to the chaos in the living room.

You found your teammates and Lucia outside in your garden, sat down on the couches, actively talking about random stuff that you didn't even want to know about. You went out and sat down next to Lucia and took part in the conversations that were happening.

"Now Lucia, I have a really important question for you." Sandra begins, making the young girls sit up straight, a little worried. "How's living with Y/n?" Making all the people at the table chuckle apart from you. "I ask you this because when this woman here moved in with Alexia, we were really worried for Nala. And also because she has never once made a plant live for at least more than a week."

"Okay, this statement is very wrong. A, I am a great dog mom, Nala loves me, and B, I only ever owned one plant, and I hate taking care of them." You say, clearly, nobody was listening to you but were waiting for Lucia's answer.

"Honestly, she has been very good to us." She replies shyly. "She took us in when nobody asked her to, and honestly, she has been more of a mom to me this past month than my mother has ever been in sixteen years."

You look at her, eyes watering, really shocked about her statement. You give her a small smile, "Stop it, you will make me cry." You chuckle while removing with your fingers the tears forming in your eyes.

"Who would've thought that Y/n was such a softie!" Claudia teases you while you give her a deadly stare.

"Shut up, Claudia." The other girls at the table chuckle softly, then you turn to Lucia, "I'm really happy you feel that way." You hug her, and you give her a small kiss on the temple.

"If you will excuse me, I'm going to bed now; remember that tomorrow we have training." She reminds you, you slowly nod at her, and then she turns to your teammates, "It was so nice meeting you all; I hope I'll see you again sometime. Good night." All your teammates say goodnight to her, and as soon as she leaves for her bedroom, they turn to you.

"That revelation must have hit you like a ton of bricks." Mapi jokes.

"Oh, you don't even know. I wasn't expecting her to say that; she's not the kind of girl who likes to 'speak her feelings.' But it was a nice surprise."

"They are good kids, really kind and smart. You must be so proud of them." Patri speaks up.

"I am. Ava is so smart and sneaky, you don't even know. Whereas Lucia she's a really good kid, she will be playing for Barcelona B this season. I'm so proud of her; she'll surely be our team's future." 

You say proudly as if you were speaking about your own kids, which slowly you realized that as time progressed, those two kids became so much part of your life that now you couldn't see yourself without them. For you, they were your kids, but you knew that it wasn't right to both of them for you to call them that, they already had a mom, and you didn't want to make them feel like you were replacing her.

"And with Alexia? How are they getting along with her?"

"Oh great! The younger one has her wrapped around her little finger. You all know how Alexia is with kids. Ava found out how she can make her say yes to everything she wants, so that's that. Whereas with Lucia, they bonded over football and dogs."

"You all look like a happy family."

"Yeah, I guess." You chuckle sadly, trying to keep up the façade that you and Alexia were still together.

After approximately half an hour, all your guests left, leaving you alone in the house, wallowing in your pit of misery. You were so happy that Lucia told you what she had told you, and there was only one person that you wanted to tell, Alexia. But you couldn't, and that realization left you helpless.

You go to your bed, which had been half undone since Alexia left, and you lay on it, still smelling her perfume from her pillow. You really missed her. So damn much. 

You turned on your phone one last time before going to sleep. As Mapi predicted, you received many comments about the two kids and why you were watching the Spain game, but what worried you was your agent, who texted you.

'Call me as soon as possible. I don't care if it's midnight."

You decide to call him immediately, hoping he wouldn't pick up. He picked up, telling you how the story you put on Instagram makes many people ask questions, making you roll your eyes.

-

The next day you wake up after approximately two hours of  tossing and turning in your bed, and go downstairs to your kitchen; you give Nala something to eat and make her go outside. You prepare coffee for yourself and wait for the girls to wake up. 

You were scrolling through your phone when Lucia and Ava came to the kitchen for breakfast. Fortunately, after more than a month, since they moved in, you managed to get something to eat for them for breakfast, so you didn't have to go to your brother's place every day.

Lucia sat at the chair next to you while Ava tried to sit on the kitchen countertop, as she saw you many times sit there, but she couldn't because she was too short, but she wouldn't surrender. So you chuckled, then picked her up and put her where she wanted to sit.

"What are you doing?" Lucia asks, trying to peek at your phone.

"Did you open my Instagram yesterday?" You ask her.

"You might be one of my idols, but I don't stalk you on Instagram; I already live with you." She threw her hands up.

"Look at my story." You push her phone to her hands, and she picks it up and goes on Instagram.

"Wait, this is us!" She says, smiling shyly. Ava snatches her phone from her sister to see the picture, making the owner of the phone grunt from irritation, the older girl tries to physically take back the phone, making them have a small fight.

"Okay, girls, it's nearly nine a.m.; it's too early for this type of physicality. Ava, give back the phone to your sister." The little girl huffs and reluctantly gives the phone back.

"So, what is the problem with this picture?"

"People are asking who are the kids in the picture, so I thought I would post about it to get my agent off my back. Is it okay for you? I chose a picture in which you can't see your faces, so you won't have any problems." You reassure the older girl, showing the picture on the phone. 

It was one of the first pictures you took together. The first one, Alexia, took it, and it was the first time you hung out together, all four of you. Ava was very tired and fell asleep on you; Alexia took a picture and sent it to you the day after. You couldn't see the sound girl's face in it, but it was evident she was a child. 

The second one instead was a picture of you and Lucia playing football, you didn't remember who took it, but it appeared on your phone. You fell in love with the photo right away. You were possessing the ball, and Lucia was trying to take it away from you, but you were pushing her away laughing. When you saw both pictures, they became your top three favorite pictures of all time. 

The third picture being with you and Alexia you took when you won your first Champion's League together. You had just started dating and thought you couldn't be happier at that moment, but boy, you were wrong.

"I love them." Lucia simply says, nodding. 

"I don't like my picture!" Ava says, crossing her arms on her chest and pouting.

You chuckle at her antics, "What do you have against it? It's cute!"

"It's not cute! I'm sleeping." 

"Okay, why don't you decide the picture." You offer, giving you her phone, on the album where you kept all the pictures with the girls.

She casually lands on a picture you took of her and Alexia petting Nala, which you thought was beautiful and sad. Making you rethink your life choices again in the past month.

"I want to put this." She says, giving you back the phone.  

"I'll think about it." You give her a smile, then go back to preparing breakfast for them, thinking you'll finish the post that night.

That day, you had a lot of things to do. One is enrolling Ava in an elementary school and then bringing Lucia to the pitch to help her train for the season. You decided to multitask. You took Lucia to the pitch, then left for the school with Ava, and then you'd leave her with Nico and then go back to the pitch to Lucia so that you could train for preseason in Mexico.

Needless to say was that when you got home, you were exhausted. After the tough training that you and Lucia just endured, you both decided to shower then the both of you found yourself lying frozen on the couch with the AC on, waiting for Nico and Ava to come back home to dinner.

—

Fast forward to three weeks, and you still had to do the post; you opted out of it because you thought the pictures were great, but you knew something was missing: Alexia. How could you post about your family when a huge part of it was missing? So you decided not to post anything, hoping she'll return to you. 

You were all now watching the Spain game against the US. The same at your house for the Panama game was again at your home. Spain barely got out of the group stage, with all the players clearly missing the spark they usually had. Matches with the US have always been challenging games; they were 4-time world champions for a reason, but more than that, the majority of the players in the USWNT played in the US, so you weren't even used to playing with them in a club. 

Needless to say, Spain lost that game badly. Jorge was fuming. You could see it from the screen. He would scream at his team at any time, especially with Alexia, making you extremely worried. Alexia didn't deserve it; nobody did. He was acting irrationally for the world to see how bad of a manager he actually was. 

The US team was over the moon when the final whistle blew, whereas Spain was shattered. They were all on the ground with their hands covering their faces. Then Alex Morgan walked towards your ex-girlfriend, picked her up from the ground, and gave her a small pat on the back for encouragement. It really hurt seeing the love of your life this hurt and distraught. 

You see her go to get water near the bleachers, then the camera frame Aitana Bonmatì, which she was too standing up, but then you see her begin running. The camera changes the frame again, and you see where Aitana is running to. Alexia was drinking from a Gatorade bottle, and Jorge approached her. He snatched it harshly away from her and began talking angrily at her. You couldn't hear what they were saying to each other.

Still, you knew Alexia wasn't having any of it, chuckling sarcastically and shaking her head. He reacted by grabbing her by the arm. In the meantime, many of your Spanish teammates that have seen the scene unveiling, ran up to their captain, trying to make him take his hands off her. Ona even forcefully removed his hand from Alexia's arm, giving him a death stare. As she saw her teammates swarm her and their trainer, Alexia put a hand on Ona and Aitana, trying to stop them from doing something stupid. At the same time, Jorge kept screaming at all of them. 

You and your Barça teammates were watching the scene on TV and looking at each other worried. You were frozen and scared, hoping that things wouldn't go sideways than they already were. FIFA was about to intervene when Jorge just finished screaming when Alexia shook her head and left the pitch, practically stomping. The game's broadcasting went to the ads, and you all looked at each other.

"What the fuck just happened?" Map was the first to speak, all turning to her while you still stared at the screen. Many voices were talking one on top of the other, but you closed them out, trying to think about your next step. You knew that if their interaction had lasted more than it did, you would've probably already been at the airport.

What brought you away from your spiral of thoughts was Ava calling out your name. This made you snap out of your trance and realize that also Ava and Lucia probably saw the same thing as you and many other kids around the world. 

You went before her and then kneeled so she wouldn't have to raise her head too much.

"Y/n, why was the coach screaming at Alexia?" She asks worriedly with her head down.

You didn't know what to say to her; you couldn't possibly say that Jorge was an asshole who couldn't interact appropriately even on a worldwide broadcast.

"You know, when a person is sad and angry, they sometimes take it out on others even though they don't deserve it. That's what happened, even though you should never have your feelings out of control." She nods understandingly while you gently take her sides, "Now, why don't we go outside and get ice cream together?" She nods excitingly. "I have to make a phone call now. Can you stay with Mapi until I am back?" You look at your best friend; she gives you a slight nod, then turns her attention to the younger girl. 

You go to your room, and the first thing you do is call Alexia. It goes to voice mail. And even though you hate leaving voicemails, you do.

"Hi Alexia, it's me, Y/n. I think you probably know that already. I saw the game today. I'm trying to say that please call back as soon as possible, or even just text me to let me know you are okay. And I know we're on a break, so I must give you space. But just please let me know if you are okay. I love you." You say, probably holding your phone too tightly, trying your best to find the right words.

Then you text Alba, which you haven't heard from her since the day she called you.

'Hey, Alba. I know that you are in New Zealand right now. I just wanted to ask you if you had heard anything about Alexia. Is she okay?'

Then you send a text again to Alexia. 'I saw the game today. Can you call me when you get this text, please? Or if you don't want to call, just tell me you are okay.'

Then you took a big breath to ground yourself. You told yourself to put your concern for Alexia in little boxes in the back of your brain. You had to be strong for Ava and Lucia. 

You went downstairs to the girls and found your house empty, only Mapi and your kids.

You give the woman a puzzled look. "They left about two minutes ago. And the kids are outside playing with Nala. Did you manage to get a hold of Alexia?"

You shake your head. "I send her a text, and Alba too. I really hope that she's okay. That interaction looked like a lot. And for the whole team to intervene seemed like he was saying some hurtful stuff."

"I sent a text to Aitana to ask her what was going on. She told me that some hurtful personal stuff was said to Alexia. They haven't seen her since then."

"I mean, should I be worried? I know that we aren't on talking terms right now, but she is still someone I still care very much about."

"It's okay to worry about her. I know for sure that she won't be MIA for much long."

"Thank you for taking care of the kids, I'm sorry I left in such a hurry, but I had to make the phone call, ya know."

"If it were Ingrid, and I was in your place, I would've probably done worse." Her confession made you chuckle. 

"So, ice cream? You don't have to come if you don't want to." 

"Of course, I'm coming! I still have to beat Nico for top place as aunt/uncle!"

"You are an idiot." You say, laughing. 

You go outside and call the two girls; Ava goes straight past you to Mapi, whereas Lucia, Shows you the thumbs up and asks you, "You okay?". You nod, giving her a weak shoulder pat, making her enter the house.

Every ten minutes, you would check your phone in the hopes of notification of Alexia, but it was useless. Good thing that Mapi was there, keeping the kids busy. 

You were taking a walk when Alba called you. 

"I'm sorry I have to take this." Your mouth to the defender that it was Alba and move away from the three girls.

"Hi Alba, how are you?"

"I'm good; we are about to go back to Spain. Tomorrow we have the flight."

"Say hi to Eli from me, okay?"

"Oh no, she told me to pass you the phone when we are done talking. What are you doing?" Even though you have known Alexia's mom, she has always been scary to you, especially when Alexia was on the line.. 

"I took the kids for some ice cream with Mapi. Right now, they wandered off, probably looking at some squirrel." You chuckle, smiling at the thought. "Have you heard from Alexia?"

"Nope, she didn't even call mamá. But strangely, she is not that worried. I think she knows where she went."

"At least one of us knows." You say hopefully.

"Mamá wants to talk to you," Alba says, passing the phone to her mom. 

"Y/n, how are you?"

"I'm good, Eli. How's New Zealand?"

"New Zealand is nice, but Barcelona is better."

"No doubts about that." You chuckle, agreeing.

"How are the kids? Are they behaving well?"

"They are wonderful; you should come to dinner as soon as you get back." You say politely.

"Now, I know you love my daughter very much, right?" She asks you authoritatively, making you subconsciously make your back straighter.

"Yes, I do very much."

"When she'll come back to you because she will. Make her work for it." Your face turns into a weird and confused expression. "You two are perfect for each other and complement each other perfectly. That is why I gave you my blessing to propose to her a year ago. But when my child comes to her senses and apologizes to you, if you want her back, which I really hope you do, make her earn it."

"I will." You say, chuckling. "I'll make her sweat a little."

"Good. Now I'll let you get back at it with the kids. Give them a hug from me. And take care of yourself, with ya?"

"I will. Have a safe flight."

-

The rest of the day and the next day passed on rather quickly. You were still worried, but somehow, after the call with Alexia's mom, you were worried less. You knew she was a nearly 30-year-old independent woman; she could care for herself. 

It was approximately 11 pm. You had just put Ava to bed, and Lucia was already to bed, ‘Claiming’ that she was tired. You thought she was hiding something from you, but you weren't worried about that. When she is ready, she will tell you. At least, you hoped. 

Alone in your house, you wondered if this was like rich housewives felt when they waited for their husbands to come home, except that you didn't have a man, nor a woman, for that matter. 

So, willing to get the whole desperate housewife experience, you decided to do the most typical thing they could do. Which was pouring yourself a glass of wine or two and hoping for the best. 

You tried to find the cheapest bottle in your kitchen and opened it immediately; as you were about to put the wine in the glass, you heard an insistent knock on the door. You checked your time and wondered who in their right mind would knock at someone's door at past 11 pm.

You go to the door and open it.

"Alexia?"

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso one shot

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 3

CW: angst, reader is a loner, reader works her ass off every day at the lab, fluff, neteyam being cute towards reader (even tho it still has weird vibes lol), mad jealous neteyam, TRIGGER WARNING for depression symptoms (such as being moody n having less appetite than the usual), stalking, obsessive and toxic behavior, also TRIGGER WARNING for reader mentioning the word “suicidal” in an internal monologue (she IS NOT actually suicidal, she just feels really sad and mentions the word. if u read it, you'll know what I mean)

Not proofread. I'll do it as soon as I can ♡ I hope it's a good chapter 🥲 & thank u to everyone who's reading this fanfic, who left a comment in the last chapter and, of course, to everyone who asked to be in the taglist I LOVE Y'ALL 😘💕💕💕

Chapter 2

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Mother looking at me

Tell me, what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

(...)

Will I ever be free?

Have I crossed the line?

All the things she said, running through my head

All the things she said (t.A.T.u)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You woke up feeling like crap that morning.

Your last shift had been so demanding. You had to cook just so much food that you started to wonder if there was anything left in the pantry. You had gone into that room just so many times yesterday to get ingredients and kitchen utensils, your legs felt heavy and sore now, as you stretched them in your small bed.

There were just too many people to eat in that damn laboratory.

Meanwhile you, the cook, barely had any time left to eat. There was always just so much work to do. So many dishes to wash, so many vegetables and meat to cut, bread to prepare from scratch... Your head hurt just thinking about it.

You felt so stressed out that you preferred to unwind a little instead of eating, sometimes. You would find a quiet place, sit somewhere, put your headphones on and press play on one of your many curated playlists or in one of your favorite songs. Listening to music seemed to work like a medicine to your wounds and, going to the cafeteria and having to socialize, to have people all around you felt too much, so, you just tried to avoid it. You even started to lose a little weight because of it. Nothing too much, though. You were only slightly thinner than you used to be. But in the back of your head, there was always a voice saying "Please, take better care of yourself...". Despite knowing that voice was right, you were too tired and apathetic to care.

Ever since you started to Dreamwalk, it was like your whole world had changed. That old life you led did not seem to be enough anymore. It never was, in the first place. It could never compare to the heightened senses you had when you were in your Avatar, helping you smell and hear everything better.

The first time you spent a whole afternoon running alone through the Pandoran forest next to Hell's Gate, you felt alive like you had not felt in years.

But nothing gold can ever stay. Way sooner than you expected, you had to be awakened from that magical dream. Everytime you came out of the technological machine you had to lay inside of to be able to drive your Avatar, you thought "Damn! Why wasn't I born a na'vi? They're so freaking lucky to have such an incredibly beautiful Planet to call their own. If only Earth was still as beautiful as it used to be..."

When you were not in one of your free days, you would always work until you felt exhausted and fed up with everything. It was not a walk in the park to be a cook. Even though you loved cooking since you were a teenager, when you used to always mix different ingredients and spices and create new recipes, this profession forced you to spend most of your time standing up and to have little time to sit and rest your poor fatigued legs. In some days, all you wanted was to sleep for 12 hours straight. And God knows you were capable of actually doing that.

Not a long time ago, you slept so much that, when you eventually woke up, it was 2 pm and you almost got fired from the lab when you finally showed up at the kitchen you were supposed to be in since 6 am.

You promised yourself you would never do that again. You just could not afford to lose that job. And you wanted to cry just thinking about not being able to Dreamwalk anymore. Exploring Pandora was the peak of your life, currently. It was when you felt high as a kite. As funny as it sounded, it was true. You felt euphoria run through your body everytime you got to have blue skin and be over 8 feet tall.

You liked to cook and was good at it, but, you were a smart, intelligent girl who knew much more than people thought you did. Unfortunately, you could not manage to get a higher position at the lab. Your forte was not sciencey stuff. It was subjects like Human History, Languages, Philosophy... At best, you got to use your language learning skills to learn basic na'vi fast and was able to get an Avatar from the lab. At least that was a good thing that your tiring job provided you. God knows that privilege was one of the few things keeping you alive. You goddamn hated you life, your job, everything... All your days seemed to be the same. Same chores, same annoying people... Most scientists did not try to hide that they did not see you as an equal. Even though they were always really polite to you, they would not let you in in their little groups, in their upbeat conversations through the laboratory corridors. You could count in one hand how many of them used to talk to you with genuine interest in hearing what you had to say.

You sat every day next to the less valued lab employees: janitors, cleaning ladies, other cooks just like you and so on. Your race had never been good at realizing the worth that these hardworking people had, anyway. Why would they do it now? You thought it to be so sad...

Those employees were nice regular people. Even thought some of them were idiots and treated you badly, there are people who behave like that anywhere. You were thankful that most of them were polite to you and treated you well enough. You also had a close friendship with one of the female employees, a cute, humble and really kind girl called Crystal. But she was your only actual friend. You did not remember the last time you had made an actual effort to make a friend, to be nice to someone in hopes you could get to know them better and they could become a part of your life. You had to admit you had been really grumpy lately.

You could easily blame such moodiness on your lack of will to keep living that life you currently had. It’s not that you were suicidal, it's just that you wished you could live a better life.

There was also Derek, the tall, cute boy you would make out with every now and then. You did not have a proper name for your relationship with him. He was always lovely towards you and you two would have really interesting conversations together and sneak around to kiss each other and do other types of heated stuff (though you never had sex with him) anytime you both felt like it. But it did not happen that often, anyway. You did not put much thought into it, to be honest. Derek was just a friend you would fool around with. You could not be farther from being in love with him or anything of sorts.

After another tiresome day, you walked fast towards your room. All you could think about was how nice and cozy your bed would feel when you would lay your body on it. Only five minutes after you finally laid down, you fell asleep. Slumber had been bugging you all day. Lately, it had always been like that.

They say you have to be careful what you wish for. That your words and thoughts have power over what happens to you. And you learned it the hard way.

In one of your infamous busy but boring afternoons, something unexpected happened to you.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a na'vi young man appeared outside of your glass window and tapped slightly on it. You almost choked on your own saliva when you saw that huge, blue creature staring at you with wide yellow eyes. A scream got stuck right in the middle of your throat, since you got so startled you could not get your vocal chords to obey the command your brain was sending them. What the hell was that na'vi doing in front of the laboratory? They did not use to come to Hell's Gate. And why was he looking at you through the kitchen window?

The na'vi boy just would not stop staring at you. His gaze was so intense it made you feel unbelievably uncomfortable. Suddenly, he pointed to the left. The big, ample door that led to the open area in front of the room you worked in was right at the same direction his four fingered hand was pointing to. You realized he was signaling to you that he wanted to see you outside of the lab.

You started to say, in your own mind: "What kind of weird situation is this?"

"Please?" You heard the alien plead in fluent English (he only had a typical na'vi accent), his voice coming through the narrow gap that existed between the glass and the window frame. His eyes reminded you of the eyes of a small kitten asking for food.

You got surprised by the fact that he was able to speak English. You wondered why he had learned it and who taught him the language.

You tried to reach for the door to try and inform someone that there was a na'vi around and ask if anybody knew who he was when you heard the alien say:

"Don't go, please! I just want to talk to you! I'm not gonna hurt you."

Your back was turned to him. When you turned around, he was smiling.

"It's incredible how you're even prettier up close."

"I'm sorry?!" You answered

"Oh, forgive me. My name is Neteyam. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. It's really nice to meet you." He was still smiling.

That name was familiar, Neteyam te Suli... Oh, of course! Neteyam was the son of the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan, Jake Sully. He was very famous between the na'vi and the humans.

Neteyam Suli was one of the most feared na'vi warriors out there. A great archer and very skilled with the knives the Omatikayas made themselves, he fought fearlessly against the recoms, including Colonel Miles Quaritch, an old enemy of his father. Quaritch used to lead the RDA soldiers when he was human, before being "revived" and given an Avatar body. He died in battle against the na'vi. But that did not mean that there was finally peace between humans and the na'vi race.

But why in hell was Neteyam Suli trying to talk to you? It is not like the na'vi liked the humans. On the contrary, they despised your race.

"Uhmm... okay. Nice to meet you..." You tried to be polite and peaceful towards the na'vi boy, like you were advised to be by your teachers, back when you were studying and training to get your Avatar "But I'm sorry, what did you say? That I'm prettier up close?" Your brows were furrowing, your face full of confusion. Despite all, you were calmer now that you knew you could communicate with him in English. Your na'vi was not the best out there.

"Yes." Neteyam's big amber eyes shone when he looked at your face. You were beyond dazed. "I've seen you before. Many times actually. But only from far away. It doesn't compare to seeing you right next to me." His voice had a weird warm feeling in it, like he was already acquainted to you. But how could it be? You did not even know who he was before he revealed his identity to you.

"When did you see me...?" Your mouth was slightly opened, so bewildered you felt

"Don't you wanna come outside so we can talk better?" He said, seeming excited.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm good, thanks." Neteyam looked sad after you declined his offer.

"Why not? I told you, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." He smiled faintly. You could tell he was hurt by your blunt answer.

It pained you to act like that towards him. You admired the na'vi so much. Damn, you even would choose to be born a na'vi if you somehow could go back in time, before you were inside your mother's womb and you could talk to Eywa herself. But how were you gonna trust him? There were some na'vi out there, his mother, for example, that hated humans with such a boiling passion. What if he took after his mother? You would be in trouble if he tried to kill you. Even though the na'vi were a peaceful by nature race, everyone has a limit, so, you had to be careful when interacting with them. You learned about all the genocide your kind had committed against his kind while simultaneously destroying his Planet slowly, in a cruel, despicable way. You honestly understood the contempt the na'vi felt when it came to humans.

You looked at Neteyam with honesty in your eyes and said:

"Please don't take this the wrong way but I can't really trust you. I know you told me you're not gonna hurt me, but, I'm still human. How can I know you trust me, to begin with?"

"I trust you because you're different. You're nothing like the others from your kind. You're more like my people. And I love that about you." Neteyam said, smiling at you.

"Can you please just tell me how do you know me? Because I've never seen you before. I've only heard about you because you're the Olo'eyktan's eldest son and Olo'eyktan to be. But you talk to me like you somehow... know me. I'm really confused, Neteyam." He felt his heart race when he heard you pronounce his name. Your voice sounded so sweet to his sensitive na'vi ears, making him move them somewhat to the sides. It was the same voice he heard in the forest, when he watched you talk to yourself saying how beautiful you thought some yellow, bioluminescent flower that you saw in the grass was.

"You're a Dreamwalker. I've seen you around. I love how much you seem to appreciate and respect my Planet instead of destroying it like the others from your kind do. That's why I think you're more na'vi than human." He chuckled happily and you got confused by his last sentence.

You had to admit he looked cute when his fangs escaped from under his upper lip whenever he smiled or chuckled. But you felt so weird thinking that.

"I'm more na'vi than human?" You were intrigued "What do you mean?" You laughed a bit and he continued on staring at you in an intense manner.

Neteyam heard footsteps approaching, so, he started to move just so he could hide. He did not want any other human but you seeing him. He knew he could not trust them as he could trust you.

"Wait! Where are you -" before you could finish your words, he was already gone.

The brown wooden door behind you opened and Derek appeared carrying a pile of plates in his arms.

"Hey, cutie." He walked towards the sink, leaving the dirty dishes there to be washed by himself when he would be back in the kitchen.

"Hi, Derek." You smiled faintly. You were still recovering from that odd interaction you had with Neteyam Sully.

Derek came close to your ear and whispered:

"Feel like meeting me tonight? I miss you." You sighed

"I don't know... I'm not really in the mood, sorry." You answered, uninterested

He got a little surprised by your answer and moved his eyebrows up, making wrinkles appear in his forehead but quickly remembered he had much work to do outside, so, he walked towards the door and got out of the room without saying another word to you.

Neteyam was still out there, next to the window, leaning against the wall. He was listening to the conversation the whole time. He had to use all the self control he learned to have with the years to not hiss when he heard that human call you "cutie" and ask if you wanted to meet him tonight. Who was he, anyway? And why was he saying he missed you? Neteyam had never seen you show any sign that he was your mate before. He had to find out what was going on. Neteyam would not let anyone get between the both of you. It would not be a weak human male that would be the obstacle that would make him give up on his future mate. He was used to challenges and was not afraid of another one. That would probably even be fun. Neteyam could imagine that tiny mate of yours shivering in fear when he showed him his big, sharp fangs.

Neteyam decided he was gonna find out who the hell that mate of yours was. He was sure he was not better than him. That human male would never be as strong as he was. That human would never be able to hunt fresh food for you, walking through the forests of Pandora and confronting big, dangerous animals, like Neteyam would. He knew he outbraved that human. He could never be a good mate to you like Neteyam could be. You deserved better than him.

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[the-fiction-witch]

Away P2

Media - House Of The Dragon Character - Daemon Targaryen Couple - Daemon X Reader Reader - Y/n Targaryen (Niece, Viserys Second daughter with Aemma) Rating - Sweet Word Count - 1735

Warning - Suicide Mentions

Part One

Using the secret tunnels to return Y/n to her chambers as if she never left, she tossed away the common clothes and put on her black silk nightie collapsing on her bed,

Daemon watched her change your clothes He could tell she was holding back tears. He felt bad for his sweetling. He knew she must be lonely at times, and he wasn't with her all the time. He decided not to leave just yet. Daemon approached and sat next to her on the bed. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as he looked at her face. His face was soft and he looked genuinely concerned for her loneliness.

"you'll be leaving again soon, and I'll be alone again…"

Daemon saw her frown growing more upset and he decided to pull her closer to him. He held her for a moment, letting her get some comfort. His hand on her shoulder rubbed gently and he put his other hand on her back and held her close to him. "I know, I know. But I will always come back to you my sweetling. The first thing I do when I return to King's Landing, is rush straight to you. And the last thing I do before I leave is visit you again."

she nodded "But then you're gone. I see you off and then I'm alone, my sister doesn't visit, father never asks to see me, and I'm locked in here so much the handle has dust."

Daemon noticed how sad it was for her. ‘She had no one to really talk to or even just enjoy the time you spent with’ he thought. "Can you tell me something though, sweetling?"

"yes?"

"What do you always do when I'm gone? Are you always alone like this? No one to talk to?"

"always. I just read it. Sew. Sleep"

Daemon frowned as you said that. He felt guilty for being away so long. "You should have more people to spend your time with. What about the handmaidens? You don't get along with any of them?"

"they only come when I call for them, then they do what I ask and go. Most don't talk to me even when I try"

Daemon frowned as he heard her answer. He didn't even want to think about how lonely and depressing this experience was for her. "You haven't got a single friend, have you?"

"... No."

The news made him a bit disappointed. A lonely little princess with no friends and a sad life. Her only comfort in this world was her uncle. Daemon was feeling a little guilty for not being here and keeping a closer eye on her. "You can never truly be sad, though. Not when your dear old uncle is here for you. You can always tell me your problems and your sadness and I will be here to comfort you." He smiled at her softly but he could see she was still upset.

"but you're not here... You go off on an adventure to the Stepstones or off with the city watch or off at Dragonstone. I do love when you're here it's... The only time I ever smiled anymore"

That last sentence pained Daemon a lot more, hearing that the only times she smiled were the rare occasions he was around. He felt like he was abandoning a child for leaving her alone for so long. His expression showed his feelings for a split second before he hid it away and continued to comfort her. His voice was kind and compassionate. He spoke with a smile to conceal his guilt. "It's alright... I feel like the only time I feel happy is when I'm holding you. You are my source of happiness, my sweetling."

she nodded and she sat up a moment wiping her tears before she hugged him her arms around his shoulders, she sat in his lap, her head in his chest as she fought the urge to cry

Daemon put his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. He rubbed her hair and he looked down on her little face which was buried in his chest. Her head was buried in the crook of his neck and his hands were rubbing her back. Daemon felt his happiness come back as he embraced you like this.

After a bit, Daemon decided to speak "You know, you are so much smaller than me when you sit in my lap, my sweeting," He said trying to comfort and distract her,

she nodded "When are you leaving?"

Daemon's face slightly fell at the mention of him leaving. But he decided to not let that stop him from comforting her. Even if he was going to leave soon he would make every second count. "Soon, my sweetling. I'm not sure, it will be soon but I will come back. I always do. Even though I know it might leave you feeling sad, I will always return. I promise."

"you'll be gone days? Months? Longer?"

Daemon seemed troubled as he thought about how long he would be leaving for. It was possible it would be longer than the usual. And after what she said, he felt bad about it now as he thought about how lonely she would feel when abandoned for a long amount of time. He didn't know what to say now, and he could see that his answer was also painful to her. "I don't know... Most likely a few days or weeks... Maybe longer than that but I promise you with all my heart that I will return."

she nodded "... I can't promise I'll be here"

Daemon felt a stab in his heart when she said that. He stopped rubbing her back and he stared down at her. He looked at her face as she was trying to hold back her tears and he felt bad that she felt this sad. "Sweetling, you can never do that! I can't lose you, I just can't. Are you telling me the truth? You really plan to leave?"

"... I have thought of it. More than once" she said,

Daemon was shaken to the core by her words. The pain of losing her suddenly hit him and he felt the urge to cry. He held her close to him and spoke softly but urgently. "Sweetling, listen. Please take my words to heart. Never think that again. I would be devastated to lose you. I will do whatever it takes to protect you. Whatever it takes to keep you alive and healthy. I don't want you to ever think of doing that again, okay?"

she nodded clearly still sad,

Daemon was still worried even with her nod. ‘I couldn't let her do this ever. She means too much to me’ the thought. Daemon held her close to him, he didn't care whether she was crying or not, he would keep her close to him to comfort her. "I hope I haven't disappointed you too much with how I have been acting," Daemon said softly, letting her cry against his chest. All his worries and fears were flooding his body and he couldn't hide them. He didn't want to lose her, and he felt like a failure right now.

she shook her head, "Often it feels you're all I have anymore..."

Daemon heard your answer and he was surprised to hear that to be honest. He smiled slightly and he squeezed her tighter as he held her against him. "Then it's my duty to protect you, my sweetling. I will do anything in this life to protect you. From now on I will come to see you as often as I can. Will that make you happier?"

she nodded,

Daemon smiled softly but still looked concerned He still could feel the sadness in her but he decided to try and comfort her by holding her against him and playing with her hair. The more time he spent with her, the more he felt his happiness coming back. He didn't want this moment to end. "Will you promise me something?"

"yes, Daemon?"

"Will you promise me that every time I leave, whenever you have thoughts like those, you will tell me as soon as I return? I need to know if you ever intend to do that again, sweetling. Or If you really do feel alone while I am away."

"I Will I promise"

"Thank you, my sweetling. That is very important to me. And from now on I will try my best to come see you as often as I can. I promise you that. Just please, let me know how you feel and I will always be trying to make you as happy as I can while I am away, and if you really do start to think like that send a raven and I will rush back on craxaes just to see you. okay?"

she nodded and laid herself down on her pillow,

Daemon kept his hand gripped with her and he continued to smile at her he helped to tuck her into her bed and pressed a kiss on her forehead. He could feel the sadness that still lingered in her and he didn't want to go just yet. She was still in need of comfort and love. So he continued to sit there with her and play with her hair.

"May I ask you one more question, my sweetling?"

she nodded

"Are you happy right now, my sweetling?”

"very happy and very content but also sad because I know it will end eventually"

Daemon sighed a little bit when she told him how she felt, it was true and her feelings were valid."I will always come back. No matter what happens, I will come back. I promise you, I will never leave you and I will never be gone for more time than I have to," 

she nodded and slowly closed her eyes, after a while she began to drift off to sleep her grip on him became loose, he smiled and watched her sleep for a while But for some reason he felt a strong urge to stay now. He wanted to stay with her, no matter how long he would be away from her he wanted to spend these last few hours with her, "Daemon?" she spoke up,

"Yes, my sweetling? What is it?"

for a moment she doesn't speak she just looks at him taking in every element of him as if she's trying to ensure her memory of him before she rests a soft hand on his cheek stroking his face before she finally connects her lips with his…

#hotd daemon #daemon x reader #prince daemon targaryen #daemon #daemon targaryen #daemon targeryen #daemon targeryan #daemon targeryen x reader #daemontargaeryen #house targaryen #daemontargaryen #houseofthedragon #house of the dragon #house of the dragon daemon #hotd smut #hotd fanfiction #hotd fandom #hotd fanfic #hotd

[daceydeath]

Skz when they help you with your sadness

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Established Relationships

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Mental health issues (feeling of self doubt, worthlessness, depression).

Just how are sweet boys would help you if you were struggling with sadness and/or a bad mental health day.

Chan:

After all the years he had spent with the kids and inside his own head he could tell instantly you were masking whatever was the matter. To anybody else you appeared you normal cheerful self smiling, making small talk and feigning interest in things despite what was going on in your head. He knew that he needed to get you back to the dorm so you felt safe enough to let the mask fall so as soon as the pair of you could leave he made sure you did.

You were fidgeting in the car the whole ride back to the dorm so sure that he was annoyed at you for bringing the mood down that you missed all the worried looks he threw your way.

"Baby, you know I love you more than anything yeah?" he sighed taking your hand in his and holding it tightly your fingers interlocked "So whatever it is that is making you feel like this we can tackle together"

"Chris, I..." you started still trying to cover your sadness but the mask you wore was slipping.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to just know I'm here. I'll always be here" he smiled sweetly kissing your knuckles as he drove. Walking to the elevator from the garage to the dorm he held your hand tightly his thumb dragging over the skin of your knuckles relaxing you. As the doors shut behind you, you turned to him looking at his handsome face wearing a look of worry for you made you feel guilty for ruining his night.

"I'm sorry, sometimes I can't stop it. I just feel so much it causes me to feel pain sometimes and I think if I hide it you won't have to have your day ruined by me" you sighed looking at the floor feeling pitiful.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way baby, but you would never ruin anything the time I spend with you is the most important time to me". He soothed pulling you against him and stroking you back to calm you.

"How about when we get back to the dorm we look at how we can get you some help to deal with how your feel, yeah?" he murmured "I need to take care of my precious baby".

Lee Know:

He could tell that you were struggling without even hearing your voice he could read between the short answers that you texted back to him when he asked you about your parents and other trivial things so he did what he always did when you needed someone to help you through. He cooked you the foods that made you think of happy times.

He had let himself into your apartment with an arm full of groceries to make you something delicious to take your mind off whatever was troubling you. You had busted him and before you could get a word out to scold him he was standing in front of you pulling you into his warm arms and kissing you on the forehead.

"Everything will be ok, I'm going to take care of you" he whispered softly and you instantly relented letting him just hold you while you crumbled.

"You can't just spoil me with food every time I'm having a hard time" you sniffed against the fabric of his t-shirt, he always smelt of spice and warmth, he smelt like what home should be.

"I can and I will, for as long as you want me around" he smiled holding you tighter hoping he could stop you spiraling before it started.

Changbin:

As a partner Changbin was as close to perfect as you could have ever asked for he was loyal, generous and caring always trying to put you first when he was able to. You were grateful that you had him in your life but as your relationship grew you began to feel less worthy of his time since you couldn't do for him what he could do for you. You weren't able to shower him with gifts, take him on surprise trips or write love songs about him all you could do was give him your love which made you feel like it wasn't equal anymore.

It had been eating you for months and you could tell that sometimes the worthlessness would peek through and he would try extra hard to cheer you up whether it was staying in the dorm with you cuddling you or taking you somewhere fancy to treat you, often it just made you feel worse.

"Baby, I don't know what's been causing you pain but I want to talk it out, I want to fix it" he mumbled against your ear as he held you close to him as you laid together in his bed.

"I don't know how to talk about it without maybe making you sad" you whispered feeling guilty for ruining another day for him.

"Just let it all out and we can worry about my feelings later" he continued his voice calm and soothing to you.

"I'm just worthless, I don't deserve you, all the gifts you give me, your time. You deserve someone who can equal you not be so much less than you" you breathed big fat tears leaking from the corners of your eyes.

"No, no, no baby please don't cry" he murmured stroking your arms "who told you that you were worthless? it isn't true" he continued squeezing you the sharp edge creeping into his voice made you realize he was getting protective again.

"No one told me it's just what I think" you admitted softly.

"Well your brain is wrong because you are worth the whole world to me" he breathed against your skin pressing a kiss to your temple "and I will spend forever proving that to you if I need to".

Hyunjin:

With a world tour coming up and an album release you found yourself feeling left behind, Hyunjin was working constantly with rehearsals, song writing, photoshoots, and interviews you felt like the last priority on his to do list. You knew that wasn't fair, you had known going into this relationship that being with an idol was incredibly tough their work was demanding and so were their fans so you did your best to hide how lonely you felt from him.

It was well past midnight we he slipped into the dorm room and cuddled up beside you, mumbling an apology thinking you were asleep. You stayed silent wondering how much longer it would take for him to forget you completely, hating yourself for doubting him but knowing you were not interesting or pretty enough for him to every really remain interested in long term. When morning came you dressed and fled before any of the guys in the dorm were awake as though you were never there at all. You received a text several hours later when he woke up to you gone.

I miss you my love please come home so I can fix this xx

You left the café you had been sitting in and walked back to the dorms where he was waiting for you with open arms.

"I'm sorry I have made you so lonely lately my love" he whispered into your hair as he held you tightly against you "That's why I got you a present to help you stop feeling alone when I'm away".

Your brows furrowed together as Chan stepped into the room cradling something in his arms followed by Han. Hyunjin simply spun you to face Chan so he could still hold you from behind as Chan gave you a tiny little black ball of fluff.

"You bought me a puppy?" you gasped holding the little boy up to your face and he licked your nose.

"Kkami helps me heal I thought he could keep you company and love you while I'm away".

Han:

Han understood more then you realized, you knew he suffered with anxiety that sometimes was too much for him but he had learnt so many techniques to help himself that it was most of the time something you didn't even think about. So it was no surprise that he noticed as soon as he saw you in the the corner of the dance studio picking at your fingernails and fidgeting as you waited for him to finish. You were trying so well to mask it but there was almost no point around Han he could see straight through you he always could.

When Lee Know called for a short break so he could go over something with Hyunjin and Felix Han made a bee live for you his eyes showing concern even if he physically didn't show that he was worried about you.

"Honey what's wrong? Are you having a bad day?" He whispered as he dramatically flopped down next to you to take attention away from you.

"I'm just feeling really stressed and overwhelmed" you mumbled as you realized you were still picking at your fingers and stopping.

"We should be really quick after this last bit did you want to stay here or do you want to go to the studio? I can give you my key, Chan wont care before you say anything." he continued to pretend nothing was wrong to keep you from feeling worse.

"Studio please" you nodded making him smile at you in return knowing the quiet would probably help you. He grabbed his bag and pulled out some candy slipping you the key secretly.

"You go whenever you want I'll cover for you if you want me to" he smiled offering you a gummy which you took before leaning forward to kiss him quickly not wanting the others to complain.

"Thank you baby" you whispered walking quickly from the studio knowing that Han would explain to the others what was wrong. Half an hour later when he appeared with Chan at the studio door you were feeling a little better but still not yourself.

"Take her home Hannie, we can work on the song later just let me know" Chan smiled affectionately at you as Han interlocked his fingers with yours and lead you out into the hallway.

Felix:

It had been two months since you had gotten to see each other and both of you were suffering for it, sure you had called each other every day and face timed when you both were alone but it wasn't the same. You had hidden the funk you had fallen into from him, it was easy if he only saw you for short periods of time but you knew how disappointed he was going to be when he actually saw you and saw how you were feeling.

"Bubby! I'm home" he grinned brightly running into the room you shared when he wasn't staying in the dorms.

"Hi Lixie" you tried your best to match his excitement, he deserved that after all, he was the love of your life he deserved everything in the world. You watched his expression falter as he looked at you properly, taking in the dullness in your eyes.

"I'm sorry bubby, I should have known how hard this would be on you" he sighed despite the smile still on his face, he wrapped you in his arms nuzzling his nose into the spot below your ear "Let's just spend of the rest of the day cuddling, that will fix everything".

"I though you said sweets fixed everything baby?" you giggled softly as his breath tickled your skin.

"Cuddles are superior to sweets only if it's you bubby" He smiled against your skin as you felt some of the weight of your sadness lift.

Seungmin:

Seungmin knew that he could come off as cold or hard by someone looking in but he knew you never thought that of him so when you called him while he was still at his schedule he put on his best sarcastic voice to make people not eavesdrop.

"Seung how much longer is your schedule today?" You asked shakily pouting into the phone.

"As long as is needed I would think" he replied in the fake annoyed tone he always used around people who didn't know about you.

"When you are finished can you come over? I really don't want to be alone" you sniffed feeling the pain from your chest overwhelming you.

"Love, how long have you been feeling like this?" he whispered suddenly sounding a little scared.

"All day but I didn't want to disturb you" you snuffled holding yourself together by a thread.

"I'll ask hyung now and I will be there soon ok? I love you" he soothed his voice soft and sweet like honey.

"I love you too Seung" you hiccupped.

Not even thirty minutes later there was a beeping coming from your front door keypad, you wandered over confused as to which of your friends would drop over this late but you were engulfed in the strong warm arms of your Seung.

"How are you here so soon?" you asked confused tear stains still tracking down your cheeks.

"I told hyung what was happening he sent me here to take care of you. My photos were already done anyway I'm not missing anything" he whispered into your hair holding you tightly against his chest knowing that his touch was usually enough to help calm you.

I.N:

He knew that you were sad, well maybe you weren't sad, but he knew something was wrong all the same. You were more irritable than normal with the simplest things, from feeling nausea in the morning, to the slight headache you had gotten when the other members were too loud, to a slamming door when you got up to go to the bathroom, something was up. Knowing that once you reached your limit you would just retreat into yourself he needed to figure out how to get you out of the house.

"Do you want to take a walk with me? the guys are just too loud today" he smiled as you returned to the room looking a little sullen.

"Alright" you replied listlessly trying but failing to smile at him.

"We're going out, be back later" he called over his shoulder after getting everything you both needed and ushering you out of the door.

You didn't pay much attention to where he was leading you still stuck in the irritation in your head and the silence between you. It must have been a good ten minutes before you even looked up and noticed he was leading you to the small café that sat on the outskirts of your favorite park. He noticed you looking around and smiled gently.

"Hyung told me eating something sweet can help make you feel better" he grinned leading you into the building for sweets.

a/n: I didn't want to go to deep or dark into this I have plans for that kind of story later, thank you for reading and as always any likes, reblogs or comments are appreciated and loved xx

Tag list: (open) @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @tara-skyhold, @bakedlilgoonie,

#bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids reactions #skz reactions #mental health issues #hopeful boys #stray kids being sweet

[atom-writings]

Can I request the allies helping their S/O when their depression keeps them in bed for a few days, which isn't normal for them.

hetalia allies when their s/o is going through a depressive episode

1.8k words ~ gender neutral scenarios

tw: theyre not always the best but they figure it out (:

a/n: hope this was ok. if u want just like, comfort, thats cool and i can do that too seperately (: but anon i totally get i got crippling depression too. were alll in this togeeethherrr

America

Depressive episodes were nothing out of the usual for you. What was out of the usual though, was just how horribly this one was hitting you. But it seems like the person who it hurt the most, was Alfred.

Once you began spending the majority of your time in bed, he began to bother you incessantly. It'd be more annoying for you if it wasn't clear just how much Alfred was panicking.

Every day he returned from home to find you in your miserable state, he would question your sudden episode over and over again until one of you fell asleep. He offered to take you somewhere, to buy you everything, anything to get you back to normal. No matter how much you insisted that none of that would help, he continued.

That was until one day, upon his return from work, he didn't immediately come up to interrogate your lack of motivation. From your shared bed, you could vaguely hear him fumbling around downstairs. After a while, his footsteps finally echoed up the stairs.

Your door creaked open slowly, revealing Alfred awkwardly carrying bags of snacks as well as a TV. He rushed forward to throw everything on the bed before starting to hook up the TV in front of the bed.

“Alfred?”

“Yeah?“

”What are you doin'?“

”Making this room fun to be in,” He answered bluntly, but his tone was kind.

After a minute, he finished setting up the TV and crawled into bed with you. Before you could say anything, he pulled you flush against his side.

“Staying in here is no good for you, but at least there's ways to make it... less bad.” He told you softly.

You took a moment to respond, ”Can... can you stay in here with me?“

”I'll stay in here until you're ready to leave, K?“

England

As soon as your illness began to rear its ugly head, Arthur took notice. It's not like it hadn't happened before, after all. The unusual eating habits, the exhaustion, how less excited you would become over things you love, it's all typical. So he would help the way he usually did.

If you're too tired for work or school, he gets you out of it. If you're hungry, he makes whatever you want anytime. If you're slacking on chores, he makes up for it two-fold.

The entire time you spend gloomily sitting on your phone or watching TV, Arthur is running from place to place in a panic. It's clear why, he's just desperately trying to ”solve“ your sadness. After all, over his many periods of depression, he always works himself to the bone to get through them. He struggles to understand how you can just... sit there.

But of course, that's not how human depression tends to work. Seeing him so motivated did nothing but make you more insecure about your own sudden ”laziness.” Living in an incredibly clean house only helps for so long until it starts feeling weird.

The only place safe from his worried frenzy was the bedroom, where you lay nearly all day. It was quiet there, at least. Not frustrating like everything else. That was until Arthur interrupted your silence by joining you in bed with a huff.

“Love, you've been in here all day.”

You didn't respond, simply nodding and rolling to face away from him.

“What's wrong?”

Still, no response.

He grabbed your shoulder lightly, trying to pull you to face him.

“What is it?”

“You know what's wrong.”

He sighed, before laying down as well. His arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to him, his soft breath hitting the back of your neck as his heart beat against your back.

“I guess a better question would be... do you want to talk about it?”

You pause, ”Not really...“

”Well, I'll be here with you until you do.“

”No running around?“

He chuckles, ”No, I'll stay here. After all, you're strong... I imagine this won't last forever, right Love?“

France

Francis is a sensitive person, but most importantly he's an emotionally intelligent one. He notices as soon as your depression begins to get bad again, and he always tries to do little things to help. But... he knows that you're the one who's had to live in your head for years. The only reason he would go out of his way to help is if you asked him to.

Which you usually don't. It never seems to stay unbearable long enough for you to justify asking him, even though he's made clear he's always willing to do anything for you.

But this time is different, it feels as if your thoughts can't stop, no matter what you do. Even as you rest in bed, you only get more and more tired, more angry and miserable. Francis noticed this... but he wouldn't want to do anything you didn't want him to.

At least, that's how he thinks usually. But now, seeing his beloved sobbing for the 15th day in a row, he decided he had to do something.

Early in the morning, before the sun had fully risen, you were awoken by Francis's smiling face.

”Time to get up!“

”No-“

You were swiftly cut off by him grabbing your arms and pulling you upwards.

”I've set out clothes for you. We're going somewhere.“

You shook your head, ”W-Where? I'm tired-“

”It's gonna be fun! I'll buy you coffee on the way, don't worry.“

So up you were, regardless of your protests.

An hour-long car drive later, and you understood why he was so enthusiastic about going here. Before you stood the most stunning valley you had ever seen, surrounded by perfectly green trees and water so blue you could've sworn it was fake. But the breeze flowing through your hair said otherwise.

“While we walk to the beach, you can tell me all about what's wrong, okay?” He locked his hand around yours.

Sure, it didn't solve everything. But... it was better than the bedroom.

China

Yao doesn't really... understand what depression is. When you tell him it's a “mental illness” all he understands is “illness.” So the moment things start getting worse for you, he's recommending all the things he learned to make sick people better.

If it gets to the point of being bedridden, he acts like you're gonna die. Which is obviously not very... comforting. So after many times of you telling him to leave you alone, he's gotten used to popping in every couple of hours with tea, but that's it.

After all, you're usually back to your normal self pretty quickly. But this time, he can tell something's off; and he's not about to let you wither away.

So, one morning, you're awoken to a delicious breakfast already in your lap and Yao sitting in front of you, looking like a kid on Christmas.

“Wh- Yao? Why did you...”

“You haven't been eating enough, and I don't want you getting tired soon.”

You looked at him suspiciously, “Why?”

“We have plans.“

”Good plans or bad plans?“

”Good plans! What do you think of me?“

Once you finished eating breakfast, he dragged you out of bed. No matter how much you protested, his grip on your hand was strong. He brought you to the other side of the house, into his already set-up studio.

”What are we doing in here?“ You ask nervously.

”Getting you out of bed,“ He responds quickly, gesturing to the yoga mat set up next to his.

All you could was sigh and stand next to him, waiting for instruction.

”Do we really have to do this?“

He nods, spreading his legs to the side and reaching down with one hand. Looking up at you expectantly, he smiled.

”It keeps you spry,“ He switched sides, ”It keeps you healthy.“

”I'm really not in the mood,“

”Trust me.“

With a huff, you slowly worked your creaking body into the same pose he pulled.

”I can't stand to see you suffer in that room.“

”It's not fun on my end either.“

”I love you. I wish you would tell me how to help.”

You groan as the next pose he demonstrated stretched you a little bit more than what was comfortable.

“You can't 'help.' Just gotta wait it out.“

He took a moment to respond, “Well, I suggest you wait it out in ways that get your mind off everything. Like this.”

“It's helping the tiniest bit, I guess...”

He chuckled, “We will keep working at it until you feel better. No matter how long it takes.”

Russia

When your depression gets bad, it seems to be obvious to everyone... except Ivan. Despite you bringing it up to him, he either doesn't know what to do... or he doesn't care. The possibility of the latter doing nothing to make you feel any better.

Even as you spend all day laying in bed, crying constantly, he doesn't seem to notice. He just acts like you aren't... suffering. That stings, a lot more than anything else creating this depressive episode.

But after a week of this unending gloominess, you get a strange text from Ivan.

“Come downstairs.”

Weird and annoying... but more importantly ominous. It takes you only a second to throw on a hoodie and rush downstairs. You can't hear his usual humming, and the house seems completely still as you search for him. But when you look out the back window, you see him.

As you enter the backyard, you fully see what he was doing.

In the middle of the yard, he set up a picnic. Surrounding him is a mountain of bright flowers, and tens of little plates bearing your favourite sweets lay on the light blanket.

“Come sit, darling.”

You would be foolish of you to not oblige. Once you sat down next to him, he reached out to stroke your cheek lovingly.

”What is torturing you so horribly?“

You took a deep breath, “Where to start?”

“Wherever you want,” he clucks his tongue sympathetically, resting his hand on your thigh.

“Y-You know... I thought you didn't care. You've been so... normal...”

Ivan looks awkward, averting his gaze, “I didn't want to make it worse. You're so strong, I knew you could get through it on your own. I'm sorry.”

“I can.... but I don't want to...”

He leans forward, kissing your forehead.

”I promise, now, you will never deal with anything alone.“

”You're sure it won't be too much?“

”Never. Never too much.“

hey there. its gonna get better. its gonna be different. but its gonna get better. there are hundreds of people youre gonna meet, and hundreds of places youre gonna go, and its gonna be amazing. one day youll wake up and realize everything is alright. because youre gonna be ok.

#heta tag #hetalia imagines #hetalia x reader #ivan tag <3 #aph russia x reader #hws russia x reader #arthur tag #aph england x reader #hws england x reader #alfred tag #aph america x reader #hws america x reader #yao tag #aph china x reader #hws china x reader #francis tag #aph france x reader #hws france x reader #not proofread at all

[impyssadobsessions]

Your Halfa!Dash AU is really interesting. Can we please see his ghost form? Or like, get a description of it. Also, does Sam and Tucker ever find out the truth? Would love to see their reaction and what they decide to do(can totally see them helping out). Lastly, what does the town call ghost-form Dash? Do they call him Invisbill? Phantom? Or does he go by something else entirely?

Actually I have more Posts on Halfa!Dash AU~ One with the ghost form. I'll post all the links to everything that has Halfa Dash that I've done. Sam and Tucker find out later, though at first they're hurt that Danny spending more time with Dash. Then they think Dash is blackmailing Danny, especially when they hear from Jazz about them "dating". Jazz didn't know they didn't know and they kind of pieced it together what little she slipped. They definitely do help out.. though threaten Dash that they'll be the one he has to worry about ripping him apart if anything happens to Danny. Despite Danny having explained the situation. I haven't thought of a name much. BullRush maybe? But it might be more of an attack he names. It won't be phantom. Though can see Danny suggest it or mutters what he would have named himself LOL Because I can see Dash having different sets of powers and a different core than Danny. Very reliant on his strength and speed. Not so much on his aim. Good thing Danny learns how to shoot the ghost blaster. Though he has some trial and error too. He just can't help but help. (He will be spicy about it though) And since Dash NEEDS Danny he has to work on his temper. Danny does push his limits with it sometimes because he knows he has the upper hand. He does get karma for it because it does go too far at one point. Oooo what if that karma is Spectre and Dash is so depressed.. Jazz even points out Danny is being too spiteful. So Danny has to comfort Dash so he can save his sister and the school. Dash like y'know what.. I'd probably done worse. "You have." "....I thought this was about making me feel better, Fenton." "It is, but I'm not going to lie. You're better than you use to be. Funny enough, I think its pretty common for death defying experiences to change someone's life.. or after life... or something like that. Jazz is better at explaining it-" "JAZZ!!!" (remembers she's in danger)

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dash baxter #halfa dash #Halfa! Dash #asks #impyelam #Halfa!Dash AU #role swap au

[hauntedwitch04]

Bday memories

Modern!Azriel x reader

Words: about 1.7k words

Warnings: sad sad sad, selfharm mentioned, death thoughts, fluffy couple, a little bit of innuendos of smut

Author's note: Hi! So this is the first for my series of oneshot for my birthday. I changed my plan and I'll plan the Steve Harrington one in honor of a lovely human that is born that day.

P.s this oneshot contains really personal thought and happenings. I don't know if you all are confortable with what I have written, but I kinda needed to get this out of my system. Please if you feel what I felt get someone to help you. I'm always here to listen if someone what someone to talk with :) You are not alone, remember it loves

Requests are open I Ask

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Bday plan

For your birthday, you never wanted anything more than to spend it with the people you love most, without going anywhere or doing anything special, yet you never really succeeded because eventually everyone you cared about would leave, leaving you alone.

You wake up in your boyfriend's bed, next to Azriel who, however, is still asleep, so you stop and look at him as you reflect.

Today is your birthday.

Usually your birthday is one of your favorite days of the year, not so much for the presents, but for the excuse precisely to be able to spend time with those you love, for no real actual reason, but rather to celebrate having gone another full circle around the sun.

Yet this birthday you feel it is different.

Last year, not on the very day of your birthday, but a few days later you had met up with what at the time was your best friend, or at least you thought she was, to celebrate your birthday, your 18th birthday, but the celebration had not gone as you expected.

Before leaving, after giving you the gift and a notebook with all the memories of your adventures together imprinted on it, she had given you a letter to read later, saying not to read it right away so as "not to spoil the mood." Immediately you had become suspicious, but had not given much weight to her words, wanting to enjoy that day with her.

In the evening, looking back at the sad and not very personal gift she had given you and wondering if really eight years of friendship was worth just that one gift on such an important day, remembering the personal and special gift you had prepared for her eighteenth birthday, you read that fatal letter.

At first you thought it would be tear-jerking, loving and sweet, as is usually the case among friendships that work, but this time you were surprised.

In this one she accused you of having changed into someone she did not recognize, into someone she did not have the pleasure of having near her because she no longer respected her tastes, and you felt as if pierced in the beginning by those words, and then turned that pain into anger, which, however, with the passage of time became sadness again.

At that moment, like a sword ready to cut the thread that kept you bound to reality, you felt like a horrible person, unable to love and unable to have friends.

Ever since you were a little girl you have been abandoned by every person you find, after a while, as if they get tired of you, and decide that you are the problem, when your only concern is that the other person is well and happy, but this time it seemed different, at least until a while before, where you had begun to sense that your friend was changing, into something different, something strange, and that between the two of you things were no longer going very well, but you didn't think it would ever come to that.

You had certainly changed a bit, but you thought you had done so for the better, as you saw yourself as more confident and happier, while she did nothing but talk about herself and think only of herself, overshadowing you and leaving you no room to grow.

His words hurt you so much that for months you were at your lowest, depressed so much that every night you cried on your pillow before falling asleep asking Mother not to leave you alone.

If it hadn't been for your friends, you don't even know if you would have moved on, or if you would have stopped doing the biggest shit of all that you had ever done.

After weeks of being in pain, and feeling cornered by life, alone in the grip of its fury, you had tried to make your pain go away by causing yourself some more pain, this time physical pain, cutting your wrists, not so much as to bleed profusely but enough to leave deep scratches that ached for days on end.

Fortunately, your other friends seeing your state did not leave you alone and made sure you got back on track to face what would be the worst school year of your life: your senior year of high school.

They have led you to believe that after all maybe you are not such a horrible person and that if they have done all this for you, there must be some good in you, however somehow this whole experience has led you to reevaluate that day that since childhood you love so much, and almost to fear it.

Then when you started college a few months ago, you met the first guy who really made your heart flutter like it was the first time: Azriel, an older guy who is in one of your classes, though, and after sitting next to each other for a couple of classes, he had asked you out, and you without a second thought said yes.

Now you find yourself here in his bed, ready to celebrate your big day, after being together only a month and a bit. Every day you wonder how lucky you were to meet him, and how much fate loves you for making him fall in love with you.

He is the guy everyone dreams about: handsome, smart, sensitive, funny and last but not least an absolute god in bed, yet he chose you and this is not possible to understand somehow.

You didn't even realize he woke up, too lost in your thoughts, until you felt his lips on your hands, clutching his shirt while your face rested on the pillow.

"Good morning baby." He says in a hoarse voice, and you almost have to hold back not to groan at hearing it.

"Good morning." You answer, trying to recover.

"What were you thinking about, before I interrupted you?" He asks curiously, as he wraps his mighty arms around you. Outside his bedroom door you hear the first movements of the morning, with Cassian, one of his roommates, leaving to go for his jog along the river.

"Well I was thinking a little bit about last year and all the things that happened to me during the year." You confess, without shame, having already opened your heart fully on that subject to Azriel a while ago, explaining to him the reason for certain faded scars on your arm.

He immediately becomes serious as he pulls your face up with one hand, making sure that you are now looking into each other's eyes.

"Love, the past is in the past and can no longer hurt you because you abandoned it at the bottom of the sea, it can never surface again." He says softly, while with his thumb he caresses your cheek, and with his mouth he leaves a trail of kisses all along your jaw. "And even if those memories surface now and then you instead of taking them as bad and evil omens, you remember that they became the launching pad for being the amazing person you are today." He continues, before leaving a sweet kiss on your lips.

You cry a little bit, unable to contain your emotions, and so you let all the emotions you were reliving before come out of you with those tears. Once you have calmed down he looks at you, trying to figure out how you were and you smile at him, so he kisses you again and hugs you tighter than before if possible. You feel the warm palms of his hands on your back, while his chin rests on your head, as if trying to absorb you into his own body.

"Happy complenno my little one." He whispers at the end, after a few minutes of pure silence. You smile and thank him with your voice still hoarse from crying.

"I know I promised to give you only one present, but we both know I can never fail to spoil you." He finally confesses, chuckling.

"Azriel! You promised me! Now I feel guilty!" You say, looking up and laughing in turn.

"How can you feel guilty if someone decides to give you a birthday present!" He asks shocked. "Besides, I couldn't decide, they were all perfect, so I got them all."

"Couldn't you keep them for Christmas, too?" You say with an obvious manner.

"Even by Christmas I already have at least five. "He confesses again in a low voice.

"You're kidding I hope!"

"I've already told you that I have to spoil you, you're my little girl and if it were up to me I would cover you with gifts every day."

"Which is not very different from what you do." You respond by sticking your tongue out at him. He responds by kissing you passionately, and pushing your body under his.

"Maybe I should give you your first present already." He says in a low, gravelly voice to your ear, before leaving a series of wet, warm kisses down your neck. "Which I believe will be repeated again tonight."

"Oh really?" You say trying to reason again, even as you begin to feel pleasure slowly cloud your senses.

"A guy has to make sure his girlfriend is well satisfied, especially on her birthday." He says chuckling, before returning to leave purple marks on your snow-white neck.

Too engrossed in your sinful activity you do not realize that Cassian has returned from his jog, until he throws open the door to the room.

"Happy birthday little one, how is it to be 19 years old-oh fuck is it possible you two are worse than rabbits?" Cassian comments, covering his eyes and walking out, not before adding. "When will you learn to close the door?"

"When will you learn to knock instead?" Azriel comments in return, covering your body with his so his friend can't see you. "Or better yet, when will you learn to mind your own business?"

"When you learn to keep your hands to yourself Azzy." Cassian replies, now in the distance.

"Well then I'd say we'd better learn how to close the door first." You comment this time.

TAGLIST

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#hauntedwitch04's writing #acotar x reader #imagine acotar #azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel x reader smut #azriel x y/n

[roo-bastmoon]

Incredibly lucky to even be here

I just realized, exactly one year ago today (May 11th) I was diagnosed with endometrial stromal sarcoma and given less than a 34% chance of survival. I'm incredibly, miraculously lucky to be well and cancer-free today. I owe that to my amazing doctors, and also in a small way to BTS.

The moment I got told I had cancer, I immediately decided to only entertain thoughts of complete health and victory. It was a pure and immediate defense mechanism and I stuck to it. So no sad songs or movies or TV shows. No online drama. No negative nellies or naysayers. No stressful projects at work. No arguments, no entanglements, no regrets.

For months, I would focus only on laughter and quality time with loved ones and things that brought me joy, even as I had to deal with practical stuff like creating a will and a pet trust and filling out life insurance forms and undergoing test and surgeries.

BTS (and Jimin, as my "recruiter") gave me moments of grace and beauty and art and warmth and giggles--and kind ARMYs gave me a sense of belonging and community, especially during a dark and terrifying time, when in the quiet of the early morning hours, the sense that my own body was my worst enemy would eat at all my mental defenses. I could switch on my phone, go to the timeline, and ARMY and BTS would be there.

If I seem to be very Pollyanna-ish or boringly polite these days, it's because I decided one year ago to focus on what I want instead of giving energy to what I don't. I know bad things are very real and they need to be confronted--of course! But I also know that depression, anger, and fear can erode the myelin sheath wrapped around our nerve endings and weaken the walls in the chambers of our hearts; that toxic emotions can bleach our hair of color and rob our nails and skin of suppleness; that negativity can lengthen our immuno-response times to bruises and cuts.

So if other folks get a thrill, a hit of adrenaline, from drama and trash talking in our fandom, more power to them, I guess. It must serve them in some way I don't understand. Me? I find meanness and pettiness draining and damaging. So I'll never do that. I'll never rudely call someone out in public or go on their blog to rant or snipe openly about members or fellow ARMY. I will just keep myself to myself and do my best to be authentic and kind and hard working.

Doesn't always work. I'm human. I will absolutely make mistakes (case in point--the campaign idea yesterday that could have really harmed Jimin. I didn't think about all the consequences and I'm so grateful to the people who patiently set me straight.) Please know that if you ever feel strongly I'm going in the wrong direction, you can always speak to me--I'll ask a million questions, I'll hear you out, and I'll try to be flexible in my mindset. You don't have to hide behind throw-away accounts or talk to others about me. I will do my best to always be kind and act in good faith with everyone. (But I'll likely still make some mistakes, because my intentions are good but I myself am not perfect.)

By and large, I feel I'm just really astronomically lucky to be here. I know the kind of cancer I had is very sneaky and could come back at any time. So how I spend my time left in this life matters to me. I want to be a source of good in the world, help other people, experience bliss and celebrate good things. I don't want to be selfish or destructive. If I start to go that way, I know good friends will gently call me back.

Like BTS, I want to connect with people and help build something worthy. So if you're on board with that, let's be friends. And if you're not, let's part amicably.

I just... figured I should probably say that... out loud. So that's that on that.

Love you guys,

Roo

[noroi1000]

Can I do a request for the Nyan series. I had this idea where Both Gojo and Geto would notice that y/n is feeling down maybe a little depressed because a close friend of hers found out about her relationship with Gojo and Geto. And that person spread rumors about her to other people and would judge her and make her feel bad. Geto and Gojo decided to take her out on a date in the town on her free day, like going to the mall or it can be whatever type of date you want to write. While that date she accidentally bumps into that friend and starts judging her. Geto and Gojo weren’t there at the moment but they somehow secretly heard their conversation and decided to get some revenge on the friend and this part you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but can it end with nswf scene I think that’s how you write it but I think you get what I’m saying. Also the friend is not Yuki the coworker, can it be someone else please, sorry for bothering you with this request.

Nyan X

a/n: I finally shared this...

Warnings: A Little abusing, Smut

When you entered the house, the first thing you felt was the soft fur against your legs.

When you looked down, you saw a large white, fluffy cat purring against your legs.

It was cute, but you didn't feel like saying hello either.

You honestly wanted to be alone right now. You didn't feel very comfortable just thinking about talking to someone...

You just want to relax after a hard time at work.

After all, it's not often that a close friend starts spreading rumors about you...

And that's something else...

If Yuki hadn't been asking you what it was about, you wouldn't have known about it. And besides, he was one of the people who sided with you. Because he believes what she said isn't true.

Closing the door, you moved your leg away from the soft fur. Even though Satoru was still hugging you.

He liked being a cat so much... You were surprised that he likes life as your fluffy pet. After all, as a cat, he was so cute.

You looked at Suguru who was sitting on a chair, phone in hand.

He smiled in your direction.

"I'm glad you're back. I was going to cook-"

You cut him off by raising your hand slightly.

"Thanks Suguru, but I don't feel like doing anything." You said, messily putting all your things on the cupboard.

Satoru wrapped himself around your leg.

You looked at his happy face. He let out a cheerful meow.

"I'm sorry, Satoru... I want to rest for a while..." you said as you bent down and moved the cat away from your legs with your hand.

You walked towards the bedroom.

"Satoru, I want to be alone..." you said as you saw a white fluff follow you.

He stopped as you slowly closed the door.

When you didn't come out for the next few minutes or call them, Gojo turned into a human, leaving the ears and tail of a cat.

Geto watched as his friend's tail gently wagged the tip of tail from side to side as Gojo crouched on the floor towards the bedroom door.

"Something's not right here..." The white-haired man said.

"It's normal that something is wrong here. She never acts like this." Geto answered him.

"But she always greeted us nice when she came home. And when she was tired, we went to bed with her!" he said with a sad voice.

"You're acting like a spoiled cat..." the dark-haired one muttered.

"Because I'm a spoiled cat..." he replied. "I like the love she gives us. It's the same with you. When she doesn't give it to us, I feel bad... Don't you think we should check what's going on?"

"... well... She looks very depressed. Something must have happened to her at work..."

"If it's because of that asshole who used to stay in our house, I'll kill him..."

"No. It's not him... Notice that he cared about how she felt. So it's not his fault. Something else must have happened..."

"Can we comfort her somehow?"

"I'll make something to eat, maybe we'll spend time at home... You know, together. To cheer her up somehow."

Gojo suddenly stood up, his tail wagging in all directions.

"Make it all up, and I'll try to make her laugh and cheer her up for a start!" he said cheerfully.

"How are you going to do that?"

"First of all, you walk around the house like me, with cat ears and tail. Secondly, I bought a watermelon, and in the cardboard box of paper supplies, in addition to paper clips, I found rubber bands."

"Are you going to—"

"Oh yeah..." he smiled.

_____

Lying on the bed and scrolling through videos of cats you wanted to get rid of the depressing feeling that lingered in your chest.

However, even the sight of cute kittens didn't help you...

Unfortunately...

Have you thought about getting some sleep?

Even though you came home much earlier than usual today, you were tired.

You told your boss at 2pm that you weren't feeling well and asked if you could go home.

That's why you came back.

You didn't feel good, but mentally.

You weren't sick or in pain.

However, your psyche made you want to be alone.

People have said things about you that aren't true...

You can't afford the rent and you're fucking two guys for money?

Are you so desperate for anyone to love you that you do everything for them, even if they don't look like you?

And even if they are there first, then they magically disappear and are nowhere to be found. And yet it is difficult to overlook two handsome, very tall men. You're still chasing them.

She laughed that they run away when they disappear, but you still manage to find them...

That you went crazy and bought yourself two cats that have people's names and look identical to those guys?

What some people started saying about you was hurtful.

It all depressed you.

None of this is true, but if you deny it, people won't believe you anyway... On the contrary. When you start to deny it, they will think even more that it's true, since you are screaming so panic that it's a lie.

There's nothing you can do about it...

You just want to lie in bed...

Your plans were interrupted by something that ripped the quilt off of you.

Before you could say anything, or even see what it was, you were picked up.

You wrapped your arms around his strong neck, not even thinking which one of your boys it was.

"Leave me alone..." you mumbled holding on to him.

"You must see something. Satoru has gone crazy."

You heard Suguru's voice. So he took you out of bed...

He kicked the door open as he gently held your legs and back.

And when you saw Satoru sitting on the floor, his tail wagging cutely, your eyes widened.

You quickly got out of the dark haired man's hands and walked over to the white haired one.

"Satoru, what are you-?!" you groaned looking at the watermelon.

"Hey baby~." He turned to you with a smile.

The watermelon around it had a lot of rubber bands on the rind. The large fruit was almost contorted, and it was sure to explode...

You put your hand on his shoulder, stopping him from putting more rubber bands on the fruit.

You crouched next to him, but in the same time he managed to put several rubber bands on the watermelon.

You heard the fruit crackle.

You stood up quickly, and suddenly the watermelon exploded.

Sweet juice splashed on you as Gojo let out a short scream as a piece of watermelon hit him.

You laughed at his expression because it was funny.

But you felt wet juice running down your neck and hands.

Suguru was smiling, Satoru was laughing.

"And what (y/n)? Are we supposed to clean you up somehow?" asked the white-haired man.

"Huh?"

Suddenly, he got up and jumped at you, turning into a cat in flight.

You grabbed him and felt a small tongue lick the fruit juice off your arm.

"Stop it! It tickles!" you giggled as he continued to taste the juice on your skin.

Suddenly you felt a hot tongue on your neck from the other side.

You saw that it was Suguru who was "cleaning" you of the juice.

"Does the way we touch you make you feel better?" he asked, leaning forward, showing you his face.

You saw black, sticking ears on his head.

You knew what he meant when you felt his hands grip your hips.

Especially when you saw Satoru's knowing look towards Suguru.

"Let us clean you up."

Your breath trembled as you felt Satoru's length dig into your pussy. Your legs were wrapped around his hips and his fluffy white tail was wrapped around your calf.

You cuddled up to him while he was standing in the shower so as not to get watermelon juice on the bed.

That's why you were supposed to fuck in the shower.

Your skin was sticky, but they didn't mind.

That's why as quickly as it was, Satoru's dick disappeared inside you.

And behind you was Suguru who was moving his lube-covered fingers on your ass as well as inside.

The unpleasant feeling was unbearable as Suguru prepared you like this.

However, one thing has puzzled you...

"Why do you always have to fuck me in the ass too?" You asked quietly.

It's not like you didn't like double penetration with them. Especially since they got you used to it. But you wondered why you still had to do this.

"Because when one of us is fucking your sweet pussy, you can't focus on sucking the other's cock." Satoru said with a smile as he kissed your lips. "And that way we can both fuck you as much as we want, and you can distract yourself for as long as you want."

"Right..." You groaned as you cuddled closer to him.

You hissed as Suguru squeezed more lube onto his fingers and poured the cold, slippery liquid into you, pushing his fingers in.

"I think that's enough." He said rubbing the last of the slipperiness left on his fingers down his length. "How are you feeling?"

He placed his hand on your ass, placing his heavy cock against your ass.

"I'm fine. And I'm ready..." You groaned as you pushed your ass back slightly to give him better access.

And the easier it pushes inside, the faster the discomfort will disappear and the pleasure will appear.

Pointing the tip to your hole, he slowly pushed it inside, effortlessly. And he began to slowly push himself to the end.

Feeling the pressure of your warm walls, so much pressure, also pressing against his friend's penis separated from him by a thin wall of your body inside.

As his hips touched your buttocks all the way, you felt his black tail glide over your thigh.

You bit your lip as Satoru moved you on him, making you move on Geto as well.

Just as you had to hold on to keep from falling, they both moved, hitting your body with their hips. Expanding your insides.

Your ass felt weird, but it felt good. So is your inside, which was abused by Satoru. It was something that cannot be described.

And when they were both inside, they both stuffed each other's cocks.

The tightness that was in you made Satoru keep touching his G-spot. And also Suguru clinging so much to every inch.

You know what it's like when they're backwards in you. Satoru behind you and Suguru in front. Even though their dicks are a bit different, you don't know which one you like the most...

Satoru's cock is a little longer but thinner. There are a few veins on a nice length when the tip is pink.

Suguru is shorter, but still long... and wide. The wiry and wide tip has a deep pink color.

And such differences do not mean that the feelings are the same.

Suguru stretches you out more and satoru hits you deeper.

Even though taking one at first is a challenge for you. Taking both at once is an even more difficult task for you.

Their width and length exceed the average.

Even though they've already told you a few times that their dicks are a little above proportion to their body size.

But they are out of proportion to your body...

They stretch you like you've never been stretched.

And it doesn't seem like the tightness of your walls bothers them.

"Suguru... Are you going to cum...?" Satoru said breathlessly. Smiling.

"Shut up... Her ass is tight..." he snarled, slamming his hips a little faster.

"Just like pussy... You can feel it, can't you? When our little girl is about to cum..."

Closing your eyes, you put your mouth on Satoru's shoulder, suppressing your moans into grunts.

"Don't come inside her. We're still supposed to go on a date..." he grunted breathlessly as his hips involuntarily pushed into yours, forcing his entire length inside you.

You felt him move closer and place his chest against your back. Pushing his hips into your ass. Staying in one place.

He shuddered with a moan, both of your holes tightening.

As your pussy sucked Satoru's length, your ass was pulsating. Sending the dark-haired over the border.

With a wet sound, he stretched out and, stroking its base, placed the tip on your buttocks, covering your back with dripping cum.

Satoru wasn't behind, and he steered his hips so that his length would fall out of you.

With one hand, he guided his cock between his stomach and yours, and gently moved your body. Cum covering you all over your belly.

You felt a light tap on your ass that stopped you from shivering from exhaustion.

As Satoru dropped your legs slowly onto the shower floor, she looked down at your stomach. Shiny in white.

"Ew... Satoru..." You groaned as you watched the amount run down your body.

"What? It's the same on your back..." he laughed.

You looked at Suguru and then at his semi-soft, floppy penis that was glistening.

He shrugged with a smile.

And suddenly turned on the hot water.

"We will wash you. We're going right now."

"Where, Suguru?"

"On a date."

You thought going shopping with them after something like that was a bad idea.

Especially since you thought you wouldn't be able to walk normally.

However, you were relaxed. Despite the very slight pain in your ass and between your legs, everything was fine.

They took you shopping in clothes shops, then to shops with various food and also accessories for the home and for people.

The sex shop Satoru wanted to go to didn't work out.

You have new sexy lingerie and something else Satoru won't tell you about.

But you guess that thing is the cat maid outfit he was looking at...

You ate something, went to the cinema which is in the shopping mall, and to the arcade.

Finally, when passing by the ice cream stand where you stopped, your mood soured again. Because you saw your friend from work pass by... That one...

You were sitting on a bench near the booth while they both bought snacks.

Satoru went for ice cream and Suguru went for Yakitori.

You hoped she wouldn't notice you, but you were wrong.

On your head was a cute clip that Suguru got for you. Because to Him, you looked cute in it.

When they weren't there, you listened to her abuse you. What hurt you more than anything else was the question of what you had to do to get them to give you that. After all, it wasn't possible for them to give you gifts and love you. After all, when you stand next to them, you stand out so much. And that you're not pretty enough to have two handsome men next to you. People often judged you. But never like this. You did something wrong, you made a mistake. But now she's judging you by not being enough for them. That now they're gone and won't come back because they ran away from you. That all they can see in you is an opportunity to have sex.

They do love you...

But she said it in such a way that you felt bad.

And your smile that they put on your face faded...

So much you thought you could believe it. You didn't answer at all. You wanted to ignore her. But you took the hairpin off your hair anyway. Putting a nice thing in your pocket.

You didn't know they were there, and they heard it.

And when they sat next to you on the bench moments later, you ignored the fact that one of them was holding delicious-smelling food on sticks for three people, and the other three ice cream cones in your favorite flavors.

You just put the side of your face on the side of Suguru's chest, and tried not to cry. As tears slowly filled your eyes.

You didn't answer when they asked if you were okay.

You just hid your face in his clothes, trying to convince you even more that what she was saying wasn't true.

Even though you know it, it still hurts.

That someone judges you like that. That she challenges you and destroys your reputation...

You guessed they had heard all that when Satoru gently laid his head on your shoulder, tenderly kissing the side of your head. Especially when he said anything:

"Will you feel better if we do something about it?"

When you felt Suguru's fingers wipe away the tears that accumulated in your eyes, you relaxed slightly.

After all, they are always with you.

You nodded at them.

They wordlessly got up, hugging you again.

Satoru handed you three scoops of ice cream and Suguru placed the Yakitori on some tissues next to you.

They went in one direction.

Fifteen minutes later they returned.

They hugged you and Satoru gave you a plush, very soft panda.

They took a hairpin out of your pocket and put it in your hair.

They showed you so much affection. They spoke sweet words to you.

And in the end they assured you that she won't say anything to you anymore because her reputation is already completely destroyed.

At the gym she went to, they switched slates. Where there were showers and men's changing rooms, they pinned it as a women's changing room.

She went in there in just a towel after her bath, and they closed the door. That's all they did.

It wasn't their fault that one of the guys there recorded it and posted it on social media.

Besides, no one knows what was going on in that dressing room while she was there...

#jjk x reader #Jujutsu kaisen #gojou satoru x you #getou suguru #gojo x reader #geto x y/n #geto x reader #gojo x you #gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo catoru

[dotspoetrycorner]

hey! could you write something where the reader goes to Cynthia’s house after the party at frosty palace in 1x08 and comforts her/ confesses🫶

Cynthia x reader 1x8 request: 

So that’s it I guess; the Pink Ladies are over. After the impromptu fall ball replacement at the Frosty Palace Buddy and Richie got into a fight, ending up with them in jail. Olivia was understandably upset, blaming Jane for the fight. Everyone broke off, first Olivia, then Cynthia, then Jane, then me, leaving Nancy behind to clean up the mess, literally. But the Pink Ladies have been the best thing to happen to me in a long time, it couldn’t just be over.

The normal response would be to do sad, but I just felt numb, like I couldn’t really process what just happened. I walked out of the frosty palace and just stared walking. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I didn’t want to go home. The original plan was for all of us to spend the night at Jane’s after the dance and I couldn’t explain to my parents why I was home, they’d ask too many questions. I just walked. 

Normally, walking clears my head but right now its just making me think of everything more. The rain had started to calm down but it was still at a depressing drizzle. I started to recognize my surroundings. Cynthia’s neighborhood. I needed to be with her. Even if it was just us sitting on opposite sides of the couch starring at a wall. I needed to be with her. I took my heels oof and started running as fast as I could toward Cynthia’s house. In the next few minutes I was knocking on her door.

After a couple seconds, she answered. She was still in her dress from the dance, but also wearing one of her dad’s jackets, her hair a mess. She looked like she had been crying. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cynthia cry. We looked at each other for a moment, not sure what to do. Suddenly, Cynthia engulfed me in a hug. My body stiffened and I got a weird feeling in my stomach. Just as quickly as it started, she let go. We stared at each other for a split second before Cynthia broke eye contact and quickly sat on her couch. I hesitantly followed her, sitting down right beside her. 

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to say. Should we talk about what happened? Or is that the last thing we should talk about? Do we need to process everything? Or do we just need a distraction? Finally I spoke.

“You know, with that jacket that outfit is a lot more you.” She just looked at me; I said the wrong thing. After a while she replied, “what’s wrong with me?” “What? There is nothing wrong with you.” I tried to reassure her. “There is! I couldn’t be apart of the t-birds, I don’t fit in with other girls, I’ve fallen in love with someone I really shouldn’t have, and we can’t even keep the pink ladies together!” Wait, what was that third one? She likes someone. I should have figured since she’s the one who asked shy guy to the fall ball.

Shit. This is about her not me. I'll deal with my feelings later. “No one ever feels like they fit in. Olivia will come around and forgive Jane. And in the mean time, I’m still here.” She looked at me, she’d started to cry again. Her eyes get so blue when she cries. Friends. We’re friends. She likes shy guy. I snapped out of in and continued, “and that other thing, shy guy adores you.” She sat up straight and looked confused “what? Shy- I don’t like shy guy.” Oh. “I just figured because you asked him to the dance and you’re friends and that always makes things more complicated.” Cynthia seemed to get really uncomfortable and quickly mumbled “yep sure does” before standing up and walking to the kitchen. 

I sat there for a few minutes, waiting for her to come back, but she didn’t. I got up to go check on her, she was just standing at the counter, looking down. “hey are you okay?” She jumped then froze for a second before saying, “I’m fine. It’s just getting late. And it’s been a long night.” I didn’t want to push her to talk about something she didn’t want to, but I have to let her know I’m here for her. “Are you sure? Because you seemed at least sort of ok before-“ “I don’t wanna talk about it, ok?!” She snapped at me. She had never even so much as raised her voice at me before. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” she apologized, “it’s just complicated.” I stood next to her and mirrored her stance by the counter, my hand briefly brushing hers as I put it on the countertop. I went over there to say another variation of “you’re not alone” or “it’ll be ok” but once I started speaking its like I didn’t have control over my words anymore, I just had to tell her everything. 

“I get it.” I started, “its like if you made a friend and they became your favorite person in the entire world, and they were your safe space, and even on your worst days they only have to make one joke to turn it all around, and they’re so different from you but somehow that’s why you’re perfect friends, and one day you realized you don’t want them to be just your friend, but its scary and you can’t tell them because-“ Cynthia stopped me, walking away saying “oh please, like anyone would ever reject you. Someone will talk to you for two minutes and fall in love with you. That’s not complicated, you just tell him and you’re fine.” 

Alright. Here it goes: “Cynthia. It’s you.” She turned around to look at me, expressionless. That was the most terrifying part, I had no idea what she was thinking. She then walked up to me and kissed me. It was better than anything I could have possibly thought of. After a couple seconds we parted and just looked at each other, smiling. In true Cynthia fashion she said “I was talking about you. Earlier when I said-“ “yeah, I got that” I said laughing. She couldn’t just say “I like you too”? Gosh. I really, really like her. 

The rest of the night we just sat on the couch, watching tv, just being together. Oddly enough, our dynamic didn’t change at all, just now she had her arm around me and we could kiss each other. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or in the coming weeks, but I was perfectly happy being right here, right now.

#cynthia zdunowski #grease #rise of the pink ladies #cynthia zdunowski x reader

[hailey-murdock]

Lose you

Chapter 2

Paring: Matt Murdock x Fem!reader

Warnings:(for this entire series) Angst, death, illness, nightmare, established relationship, drinking, depression, use of pet names, fluff, implied smut, mentions of college Matt and reader(let me know if I missed something out)

Summary: Matt "the man without fear" may not after all be that. He fears he'll lose the person he most loves

Other characters: Foggy Nelson, Frank Castle

WC: 2.K

Tags: @little-miss-dilf-lover

A/N: Hello sweeties, I've decided to make a Matt Murdock series. There will be 4 chapters for this series. Grab tissues cause this shit is sad. (Reblogs, comment and likes are appreciated).

Matt wanted to keep holding you. He squeezed you as tightly as he could. He didn't want to let you go. He didn't ever want to lose you. You meant so much to him, and you were the most important person in the world to Matt. He never loved anyone more than he loved you. Matt sat with you on his lap and he continued squeezing your hand tighter.

"Matty, you remember how when we were in college we talked about having a home together?" 

"Yes. I remember that. We talked about our first apartment together". Matt couldn't help but smile at the thought of one day moving in together, getting married and maybe even starting a family. "Is that what you wanted to talk about? We're gonna do all that one day. We're going to get a great home together. I promise".

You tried to forget everything and smile for Matt. "Yeah it was special....we even talked about spending the rest of our lifes together once we got married".

"I want all of that. I want to spend my life with you. I want to share every experience with you. I wanna have a whole life together with you sweetheart. Matt didn't even want to let your hand go from his grip. He wanted to keep holding you forever in his arms.

Matt pressed his soft pink lips against yours and held your jaw with one hand while the other was interlock with yours. "Are you feeling better? I'm here. You're safe. I'm always here".

Matt felt you nod slowly. "Yeah baby, I feel better now, thank you".

He smiled and gave you another gentle kiss. "You're the love of my life. And nothing in this world will change that. I love you. I love you so much. I'm here for you. I'm here always. And we'll never be alone again".

Matt hugged you even closer. He could sense and feel your beautiful face and your warm smile. He was lucky to have you. No matter what situation you guys were in, Matt would always feel lucky to have you by his side. Nothing could tear your love apart.

Four months passed by quickly and you're  still doing treatments. And in those four months Matt had been by your side the entire time. He brought you to all of your treatments every day. Matt was tired but he wanted to make sure that you didn't feel alone. Foggy would even help him out in the office, he knew that you needed Matt's support in moments like these and who was he to deny that. 

The last month Matt had felt very depressed. He was losing hope and he was struggling to stay strong for both himself and you. Your  cancer wasn't going away. Was this it? Was it your time already? No, that's impossible. That would never happen, right?

Matt tried to shake it all away as he sat next to you in the hospital bed. As much as he tried to stay hopeful for you, he couldn't help feeling terrified and scared every time he saw you. The doctor came into the room saying he had news for us.

"I'm deeply sorry but the cancer has spread out quickly and there's nothing we can do. We don't know how we didn't notice this before but in some cases this happens. I can tell you this, you have about 3-4 months left. I recommend you to spend time with family and friends and say your goodbyes. Once again, I'm truly sorry, I'll give you two a moment to process this".

Right after the doctor had told you that the cancer had spread out, your body went numb. Everything faded out, the only thing you could hear was your thoughts racing all over the place. How? Wasn't the treatment going well? It felt like your soul had left your body.

Matt started crying as the doctor left the room. His whole heart broke into pieces. He felt as if the whole world was crashing on him. This can't be happening. This isn't real. You weren't going to die. 

"No". Matt kept repeating. "No, no, no". This wasn't fair. Why you? Why not someone else? Anyone else? You deserved the entire world. You were the greatest person he ever met. You were beautiful, caring, strong, and you never hurt anyone. Why? Matt couldn't get through his head why a person so innocent was going through this.

After a few minutes the doctor returned to the room and  told us that you should do everything you've ever wanted to do in that time and he sent us home. You didn't trust your voice to say something to Matt. You didn't say anything to him after you had received the news. As You and Matt walked home, your silence was louder than anything. He held your hand and he just kept crying.

This wasn't fair. None of this was fair. It was your life. You deserved to live it. You didn't deserve to die so young. Life was so unfair, and so cruel. Was this a punishment from God to Matt for all the mistakes he's made in his life? If Matt wasn't going to hell, then is this his hell? To live without the woman he loved? Why did God have to be so cruel with him? After all Matt was his soldier, right? What did he do wrong? 

The both of you walked towards your apartment, which you both had bought right after you had found out you had cancer. Matt opened the door and helped you into your home. You guys went inside and he sat you down on the couch. 

"What do you want to do?"

You didn't respond and you just sat there numb. Matt just sat with you. He held you tight and kept crying. He didn't want to leave you alone. And he just didn't even want to think about what was happening. Matt was just so terrified and broken. He just tried to focus on feeling your heartbeat,  to focus on the positives. Matt didn't want to think about what the doctor had told you.

"You're strong, sweetheart. You're strong".

"I think I need to be alone for the rest of the day". You say to Matt as you get up to leave the apartment

Matt started to shake. He didn't want to lose you. But he could see that you wanted to be alone. You deserved to be alone. Matt wanted to give you the space and support you needed. "Alright."

He didn't want to leave you alone. But he could feel how much you needed to have some time to yourself.  "Please...you can let me know if you need anything and I'm always here. Okay? 

You nodded as you left the apartment to take a walk and you did for about an hour but after a while without realizing it, you were at a church.

You were never a religious person but once you stepped inside it was different. Of course you would go to mass with Matt on Sundays but mostly for him, not because you actually wanted to go and worship God. You went in front at the altar and prayed and prayed to god if there actually was one to save you from your misery and that if he didn't to, then just to take care of Matt once you were gone. 

After you were done with your prayers you talked with Father Lantom and after a few hours you went back to the apartment.

Matt was just sitting at the kitchen table, feeling depressed. He felt as if everything was crashing down. All he kept worrying about was losing you. You meant so much to him. Every day and every night, Matt  lived with the worry that he'd lose you. He would cry his eyes out and would just have panic attacks when it felt like it was getting worse.

After a couple of hours, he heard someone knocking the door and rushed over to open it and he was shocked to see you. "You're...you're back soon. Are you okay?"

"Yeah". You smiled softly at Matt since after going to church made you feel calm. "I'm okay, I just needed a bit of time to myself".

Matt put his hands on her shoulders and he smiled back at her, feeling glad that she was alright and calm. "I'm glad you're okay. I was scared there for a moment. I'm just happy that you're back". He pulled you into an embrace and he felt calm as he felt the warmth of your body radiate onto him. 

Matt felt his heart warm as he took a moment to hear your heartbeat, feel you in his hands. To just be able to have you back with him.

"I love you so much. We'll get through this together. I'll be with you through it all. And I'll always be here. Always. You're strong, sweetheart. You're the strongest person I know".

A tear fell down your face at Matt's words. You didn't need super hearing to know if Matt's heart skipped after what he said to you, you knew he would never lie to you. "Okay now enough of this sad stuff, let's do something fun!". You didn't want to think any more of the inevitable, you needed to forget everything.

Matt smiled and he squeezed your hand.

"Yeah, you're right. My baby deserves to have some fun. Anything you want to do. I'm always here. I love you". He gave you a warm smile. Matt wanted to make you feel good in any way he could. He wanted to lift up your spirits. He wanted to just do whatever would make you happy.

"You know what's something I've realized that we haven't done in quite a while Matty?" You say in a teasing voice and Matt could feel the smirk on your face.

"What's that sweetheart?" Matt looked at you with curious eyes. He didn't know for sure what you wanted. But he couldn't just sit h

there. So he raised his eyebrows, Matt shook his head and he gave you an excited look.

"What is it, love? Tell me". 

Matt lowered his head down with a look of hope and love on his face. Hewanted to make you tell him whatever you wanted to ask. And he was ready to agree to anything that you wanted. Matt put his arms around your waist and he kissed your cheek.

"We haven't made love to each other Matt. We both love each other deeply but tonight I want to show you how much I love you". It was a need to show Matt how much you appreciated everything he had done the last few months for you. You loved Matt and you would always love him.

"You're right sweetheart, I haven't shown you properly recently my love towards you. But don't worry, I plan to make my best girl feel good tonight. I want to give you all of me. You were made for me. I just wanna love you forever. P-please let me show you". Matt usually never begged in the bedroom but this time was different. The circumstances had changed and it had been a while since the two of you had sex. And he planned on making this night one of the best nights of your life. 

Matt knew in the back of his head that before what was to come, he was gonna marry you. Matt was going to keep his promise that he made to you back in college, marry you. Until death did you apart.

Matt's hands roamed to your waist, gripping softly but yet firm your hips, as his lips met yours. He felt the softness of your sweet hands go to his neck and jaw as the kiss you shared was filled with love, happiness, passion and desire. The next thing you know is that the both of you somehow made it to your shared bedroom with your clothes on the floor and small whimpers and whines filled the bedroom. All that mattered was you, Matt and your love.

Previous: Chapter 1 | Next

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #matthew michael murdock #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fluff

[alyswritings]

Comfort

Request: hello lovely hope your doing well! just wondering, if no trouble could i at request a steve harrington x sister!reader one where shes had been feeling upset and all she wants is her brother to cuddle up to if its not trouble?

Steve Harrington x sister!reader

Summary: Y/N just wants her big brother.

Warnings: none really

a/n: thank you for the request! hope you all enjoy!!

(gif not mine)

Y/N is sitting on the couch, watching the random show on TV that she couldn't care less about. She's currently home alone, Steve still at work and her parents out at a work party.

The teenage girl plays with the end of her hair, twirling it around her finger, sighing heavily hating the lonely feeling she currently has and has had for the past two weeks.

Y/N hears the front door open and soon Steve walks into the living room.

"Hey. Where are mom and dad?" He asks.

"Work party." Y/N informs.

"Right." Steve nods, now remembering their plans for the night. "What have you been doing?"

"Sitting on the couch." Y/N says, a bored smile on her face.

"Don't you have homework?" Steve asks.

"Did you do homework every night when you were my age?" Y/N counters.

"Okay, fine. Fair enough." Steve says. "I'm gonna go shower."

"You wanna watch a movie after?" Y/N asks, trying to contain some of the hope in her voice.

"Uh... I would, Y/N/N, but I'm, like, super tired." Steve says.

"Oh. Right." Y/N nods, shoulders slacking in disappointment.

"You okay?" Steve asks, noticing the defeated look.

"Mm-hmm. Fine." Y/N nods, forcing a smile. "Go take your shower. I'll see you in the morning." She says, turning back to the TV.

"Right. See you in the morning." Steve says. He hesitates, wanting to ask her more questions, but he goes upstairs.

After his shower, Steve lays in his bed, attempting to sleep since he's tired from the long day at work. But he can't get Y/N's defeated look after he turned down the idea of a movie. She had hopeful eyes when she asked him, but they quickly lost the little bit of sparkle after he told her no.

Steve sighs and gets up, going downstairs. He walks into the living room, finding Y/N in the exact same position he left her.

"What's up with you?" Steve asks, getting the younger girl's attention.

"What? Nothing." Y/N answers.

"Oh, come on. You're all grumpy looking and shit." Steve notes.

"I am not." Y/N protests, despite knowing she is.

"Mm-hmm. Sure. Okay. Seriously, what's up?" Steve asks.

"I'm fine." Y/N promises.

"Y/N." Steve gives her a warning look.

"Are you... are you sure you don't wanna watch a movie? It's not like you have to stay awake for the whole thing." Y/N says.

Steve finally notices the sad look in her eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure." Steve quietly says. He sits down next to her, pulling the extra blanket over his lap, Y/N already having one.

Y/N doesn't give him time to react before she's cuddling into his side, arm wrapped around his middle, nestled comfortably under his arm. Steve wraps his arm around her, putting his hand on her head and messing with her hair. He puts his other hand on her arm and rubs it.

"What's up?" Steve questions, resting his chin on top of her head.

"I don't know. I just... I don't feel all that great lately." Y/N says.

"Like... like sick not that great or...?" Steve trails off in question.

"No. No, like, um... mental not great." Y/N says.

"Well, did something cause it or did it just come out of nowhere?" Steve asks.

"Kind of out of nowhere, I guess. The past couple weeks. I don't know. It's just... my friends aren't that great and mom and dad are... well, they're mom and dad. You're always at work or with Robin. It's just lonely." Y/N says.

"Well, what about the party?" Steve asks.

"It's kind of depressing since El and Will moved." Y/N says. "I don't know. It's just not the same."

"Sorry." Steve mumbles.

"Not like it's your fault." Y/N says.

"I know. But it sucks." Steve says.

"Yeah." Y/N quietly agrees.

"Well, I'll start spending more time with you. And you and Robin get along, I'm sure she wouldn't mind. You guys both love teaming up with each other to roast me constantly." Steve says making Y/N quietly giggle.

"You're just such an easy target." Y/N jokes.

"I will put you in a chokehold." Steve threatens.

"I'll mess your hair up." Y/N shoots back.

"You touch my hair you're dead." Steve declares.

"You know, you used to let me braid it." Y/N says.

"Yeah, when you were like nine." Steve scoffs. "You're not as cute anymore so you get away with less."

"Rude." Y/N mutters.

"Life's tough, get a helmet." Steve remarks. Y/N gives him a bitch face, Steve innocently grinning. "Well, hey, least I got you to somewhat cheer up."

"Oh, was that your entire plan?" Y/N asks. "Offer to spend time with me then threaten me?"

"Yep." Steve nods.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, just watching the movie.

"Can I braid your hair?" Y/N asks, looking up at him. Steve slightly grimaces. "Oh, come on. It's not like you're seeing anybody tonight. You can fix it in the morning."

"Not happening." Steve denies.

"It would cheer me up." Y/N says. She gives him puppy dog eyes, knowing it usually gets him to crack. Steve looks at her, immediately looking away when he notices her puppy eyes.

"Fine." Steve relents after a few moments. Y/N grins and claps. She pulls out of his hold and sits on her knees, taking a small section of his hair to put in a small braid.

"But we're taking all of these out before we go to sleep." Steve orders.

"Yeah, of course." Y/N mumbles, not paying full attention to his words.

Y/N puts a bunch of small braids in Steve's hair, the young man paying attention to the movie on the TV, trying to ignore the urge to go fix his hair.

Soon enough, Y/N finishes, proudly grinning at her work.

"There. Like a pretty little princess." She says.

"Never call me a princess again." Steve demands.

"You're the one obsessed with your hair. Princesses are obsessed with their hair. Sometimes, anyway." Y/N says.

"Whatever. Just don't." Steve says.

"Fine. Be boring." Y/N mumbles.

"Do you feel better?" Steve asks.

"Kind of. But I do wanna stay with you for the rest of the night at least." Y/N says.

"Okay." Steve nods. He pulls her back into his side, letting her cuddle up with him, the two watching the movie.

Before the movie ends, Y/N is fast asleep, a hand lightly clutching onto Steve's shirt and he's putting tiny braids in her hair.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @peyton-14

#steve harrington #steve harrington x sister reader #steve harrington x sister!reader #stranger things

[softie-rain]

Same anon that loves how you write Sejanus, headcanon only for him? 🥺 No reader just Sejanus now 💞

Love you anyway 💞

note: so it's funny because that was my first thought but then I was like, wait what if they mean it as dating sejanus? But don't worry I love talking about Sej so I'm super glad you "corrected" me. Anyway as I already stated anon ily thanks for making me write about my bby 🫶🏻 Also I really hope you don't mind I headcanon Sej as gay, so some of these are about that! Once again, tell me if you mind and I'll edit it and add something else :)

I wrote a little something about this one but I feel like on his first day of school in the Capitol he brought cookies that his ma' made, but no one took them and made fun of him for it ):

He has a stuffed pet (cat) that he brought from District 2 which he still sleeps with, his father thinks he threw it away long ago (his ma' knows about it though)

I personally headcanon him as gay even in the canon tbosas universe, I think he kind of always knew he had a thing for boys even back in 2 but his true first crush was Coriolanus (no one knows about this except for him)

The first year after they moved away from District 2 he always cried himself to sleep, his ma' heard him but didn't know what to do to help him ):

In the same period he also tried to run away but like, he's eight, so he didn't go far. As in he didn't even make it to the front door

He's almost constantly arguing with his father

now onto the happy ones because god what's this depression

his favourite colour is blue

He loves to read, like seriously. He's always at the Academy's library reading any book he can find, especially about Panem's history

As kids him and Coriolanus actually used to spend lots of time together, at Sejanus' house of course, but less when they joined the Academy. Only him and Coryo know about it of course

My man is not a virgin!!! He never had a boyfriend but he hooked up with Festus at his 16th Birthday Party

Festus was OBVUOUSLY drunk, and OBVIOUSLY neither of them acknowledged what happened

He kissed Coriolanus too. They were alone at Sej's house, his parents were out and the alcohol cabinet was unsupervised... (they were 17 at the time, one of the few times Coryo was at his house to work on a school project).

Sejanus' memories are blurry, was it a dare? Did they mean to do it? Either way Coriolanus was so wasted he doesn't remember a thing about the night. Sejanus on the other hand does, but knows better than to tell Coryo.

In District 12 he had some girls trying to flirt with him at the his cute adorable ass either doesn't realize they're flirting or is just super awkward about it, like

"Youre very handsome you know?"

"Oh! Thank you :)"

Yes the smile is included.

He loves the Coveys songs?? Like obsessed. He loves going to the Hob to listen to the songs (he's a bit sad Coryo is there for Lucy Gray but the music helps!!)

I feel like in District 2 with Marcus they used to do "races"? Idk like imagine coming back from school, "Who gets home last is a loser!" Those kind of things, to distract themselves from the horrors of the war

Studying is so easy for him? He has a photographic memory, so he just needs to read a paragraph, do a small schematic map on his notebook and bam he studied.

He daydreams A LOT. Especially at night before going to bed, he dreams of still being in 2 and often wonders how his life would be if they never moved

He always wanted to get a cat (even when in 2) but his father is allergic (the bitch)

Has a kid, when his ma' used to bake, he'd always steal some paste with his finger (It was not good. Often had tummy aches. He did not care and kept doing it.)

I could go on forever but that's it for today!!

Listen he sings in the shower. I do not make the rules I'm sorry.

Bonus, TS songs that are him coded!! I Can Do It With A Broken Heart; Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me; So Long, London; I Hate It Here; This Is Me Trying; Mirrorball;

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #sejanus plinth #sejanus plinth headcanon #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #tbosbas #tbosas fanfiction

[v3nusxsky]

Could you maybe do like a part 2 to the angel baby one, where its a few years later, its mother day, and r is feeling really guilty so larissa reassures r they did the right thing 💞

Hello my darling, here’s the part two for you. I’m sorry it’s two days late for Mother’s Day but I hope it’s okay for you <3

Still a mother| h&c

*Authors note~ I know this was a new request but seems as mothers day for me was yesterday I just wanted to get this one out for you all*

Trigger warnings~ miscarriage, depression, self loathing

Prompt~ see the ask^^^^

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

*******************previously********************

"What if I just called them dove?" You murmured. Shot sweet and not tied to a gender. Dove could also be related back to death which seemed to tie in perfectly. Your little dove too precious for this world.

"Dove is beautiful little one. Your little dove" Larissa was quick to confirm it was a beautiful name. "Y/n your exhausted I see the flowers, let's get you back to your dorm and all tucked up in bed hmm? We will start the process in the morning if it's what you want, I'll be here every step of the way. I may not be biologically your mum but every student at Nevermore our my little ones. I'd do anything to help and protect any of you..." she trailed off noticing your breathing had shallowed out and little pink flowers now took up residence where the blue were. Your skin a mixture of pink and purple as you dozed in her embrace.

*************************************************

Florakinesis was your blessing and curse. Being with the plants soothed you in ways no other could but also the dead giveaway for your emotions was the flowers that would bloom in your hair. So that is how you knew that Larissa would instantly see what you were internally battling. Black roses and deep blue flowers crowned your head. Self loathing or hatred and sadness. Yep that summed your feelings up perfectly. After all it made sense. The day that it is was a day you should be celebrating yet you got rid of your reason. Your one who made you a mother... well until you did the unspeakable act and ended their little life too soon. Now you would sit here every year, every day and wonder just who they could've been, if you had just been stronger.

With no way to hide your own emotions you settled for hiding away. Nevermore had the yearly tradition to hold a Mother's Day weekend, one where the mothers of the students had the opportunity to come to Jericho and see their child with the opportunity to spend some time together at Nevermore and in the town. You'd done so well to be present on the Friday and the Saturday but today? The actual day for mothers you just couldn't face it. That made your self hatred worse, you couldn't even handle the fact you gave up your chance to be a mother but you couldn't handle the idea of being a mother either. Truly you beloved dove must have left you for a reason.

You knew what flowers had bloomed in your hair, you didn't need to see it so you just hid yourself away under the covers watching your comfort show. The show usually would distract you from the reality of this world, transporting you into the greatest minds of the FBI as they hunted down un subs. Your favourite agent was Emily prentiss, and her backstory really resonated with you. She'd been through so much shit yet continued to get up and live every day. And that was a strength you admired.

Before you knew it your feelings of guilt and self loathing had you in tears, crying for the life you could've had if you'd been strong enough to keep your dove. Instead you were stuck loving and missing someone that only two others knew about. One, the dead beat dad who used you for bragging rights and the other being the very stunning Larissa Weems.

She had been there as promised, holding your hand and hushing your cry's. Just like any mother would their upset child. Her comfort and support was honestly all that got you through it. You reminded Larissa of that every now and then and she simply dismissed the praise as though it was unnecessary. To her, it wasn't she did what anyone would do, but to you it was very necessary. That fact was why you weren't surprised to see the Headmistress letting herself in your dorm and sighing at the sight. Of course you'd be struggling today. In fact she was cursing herself for not noticing sooner. How long had you been crying alone?

"Little one? Is it about Dove?" She murmured coming to sit on the edge of the bed, never touching you, but close enough to offer the choice. You let out a sob at the name and nodded. Tears falling uncontrollably as you sobbed for your baby, to precious for the earth. "It's my fault, I would've been a bad mother. I killed them Isa. I'm a horrid person. Imagine what they'd be right now. A little giggly three year old, running around causing mischief and they'd absolutely love you. I know that. They'd cling to you and you'd spoil them rotten. But I took that all away from them. From you. I'm so sorry Isa. I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry dove. God I hate myself" you mumbled, the mini rant being broken up through your sobs.

See one fact that had changed, Larissa had supported you through the process and as time trickled on you two became an item, that's how you ended up on the Nevermore staff. You knew she loved you and that she wouldn't blame you for not keeping the precious dove but you couldn't help but grieve the child that you had lost.

"Don't love, don't torture yourself like this. You did what you needed to do at the time. I know for a fact Dove doesn't blame you, you will be a great mother some day, when your ready for it. And Dove knows that. Darling, you are still a mother love, you still carried Dove for a little while, you deserve to be celebrated just as much as every other mother out there." She reassured you before offering her arms outwards indicating you could hug if you wanted. You threw yourself into her arms and sobbed, her hands come up to rub gentle slow circles on your back as you cried in her arms.

She held you for as long as it took for you to calm down. Only when you were calm did she try to redirect your attention from your troubled thoughts to your show. With a small chuckle she mumbled "oh my darling, Emily prentiss again? What episode?" To which you mumbled into her shoulder "season 4 episode 3." With attention directed else were she pulled a simple fake red rose from behind her back and called your name grabbing your attention.

"My darling Y/n, happy Mother's Day not only from your little dove in the skies above but from all the students of Nevermore that look to you for comfort, support and love. We all think the world of you and you should know how truly amazing you are. Dove may not be here but you'll always be there momma, and hopefully in a few years to come, maybe we will get to see you in action." Her speech never faulted, truth soaking every word. Had she just indirectly told you she wished to have children with you? With shakey hands you took the rose and whispered, "why not a real one Isa? She could tell by your actions alone you were confused so she readily explained her thought process, "its not a real one bc those have the capability to wilt. This one however will not. Just like your love for dove and ability to be a brilliant mother." Larissa truly believed in you. And that right there was enough for you. You truly love and miss the child you should've had every single day, but it was better for them at the time. And deep down you knew they knew that.

Word count~ 1370

#fanfic #larissa weems #wednesday netflix #gwendoline christie #larissa x reader #larissa weems x reader #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa x you #principal larissa weems #mothers day #anon request #💞anon

[hopeymchope]

Trying to endure the unpleasant characters of "Bakemonogatari"

After receiving numerous recommendations that I should check it out over the years, I've finally started watching "Bakemonogatarai."

It's... weird, for sure. Interesting at times, definitely. But the two focal characters thus far make the series so incredibly hard to watch.

This is Koyomi Araragi, who is evidently our primary protagonist. The most important thing you should know about him is that he will endure the worst verbal abuse imaginable while only BARELY ever bothering to push back even a smidge, to the point that he infuriates me. This bitch has ZERO self-respect. It might even be in the negatives.

Now, maybe something will change with him! After all, I'm only five episodes into the series! He has plenty of time to grow a spine and stand up for himself. But right now? He spends most of the series hanging around — and getting cruelly abused by — a girl named Hitagi Senjougahara.

Senjougahara seems to be our secondary lead. Araragai spends the first two episodes going out of his way to help her with some difficult problems, which makes her declare herself to be his "dear friend" immediately thereafter. However, in ALL FIVE episodes to date, Senjougahara just brutally abuses him. And it just makes him depressed. He doesn't fight back, he doesn't get upset or angry... he just gets really sad and hangs his head silently, ultimately agreeing with her horrible put-downs.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The dialogue in this show is seriously like this—

Senjougahara: You're a very dear friend to me, Araragi. I owe you a lot. It's sad that you're a disgusting little bitch baby, but I'll still repay my debt for your kindness regardless of how odious of a person you are.

Araragi: ...thank you.

Senjougahara: Seriously, I can't imagine having to touch anything you've ever touched. The thought is so abhorrent. And the thought of ever touching YOU? Christ. I could vomit.

Araragi: Yeah.

Senjougahara: You look like a pedophile with that greasy hair over your eyes, you know that? In fact, I bet you ARE one. You fuck little kids, don't you??

Araragi: Come on... I'm not like that.

Senjougahara: Shut your nasty, hideous excuse for a mouth. Don't try to deny it. I can tell you fuck little kids.

Araragi: ...okay....

Senjōgahara: You sickening child molester. Rapists are the lowest of the low, but you? You're lower than they are. You're more vile than a gremlin's shit-stained taint, Araragi.

Araragi: ...sorry. It's true.

Senjougahara: If I wasn't such a wonderful and forgiving friend to you, you wouldn't have anyone else breathing the same air you've spoiled with your repulsive, loathsome presence. You'd be all alone. Which is all you'll ever deserve, of course.

Araragi: .......of course.........

-----------------------------------------------------------

I get that Sejougahara is just a massive, miserable asshole. That's at least very consistently portrayed. The bigger problem to me is that Araragi will go out of his way to help literally anyone in need but will do NOTHING to stand up for himself with this asshole.

The worst part is that I think these two are supposed to be possible love interests??? I THINK she's supposed to be a thugdere or something. I hope that I'm either wrong about that or something RADICALLY changes, because right now I only want to see Araragi remove her from his life forever.

Which is pretty unlikely.

Man, even in the second story arc, Araragi could've just taken the incessant abuse he received from the newest character he met as adequate reason to leave her the hell alone, and WOW, that actually would've solved everything instantly!

#bakemonogatari #koyomi araragi #hitagi senjougahara #anime #anime memes #bakemonogatari memes

[manestjerne]

Let me save you pt. VI

Juice Ortiz x female

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings: blood, bad language, violence, mentions of sex(?), angst

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for such a long break, I had this in my drafts for some time, but couldn't get myself to post it, but I'm back now and I'll try to be more consistent 🫶🏻

Walking to the kitchen alone in the morning was a really bad decision. The place was a complete mess and so many things I never wanted to see flashed before my eyes. Passing a few people I really wanted to stop and make sure they’re still alive, but gladly I just walked pass by the disgusting scene, making sure I won’t put my foot in anything on the floor, either people or weird, unrecognized substances. Too early to eat anything as always I just poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down by the kitchen table, praying no one walks in. I haven’t talked with anybody besides Juice about yesterdays situation and I wasn’t sure if they approved what I did. Gemma is probably proud. Looking at the shelves filled with instant food packages I realized I used to do much worse things. Yeah, but you were home. Your place. It’s not my place anymore, but it was back then. I don’t think I have my place now, but it’s definitely not here. Showing up at night looking like I was hit by a truck and then showing some attitude to a girl who’s from here was probably not the best option. Was it? I locked my eyes on a canned chicken soup and my stomach turned upside down. That’s disgusting. 

- Hey - I flinched when Bobby pulled me out of my thoughts 

- You’re up early.

It’s not early, but looking at how many people were still passed out it was surprising to see someone alive.

- Decided to give my liver a rest yesterday - he replied calmly pouring himself a cup of fresh coffee and sitting next to me - What about you? 

- My liver deserved a rest years ago, I’m too old for that kind of parties - I said jokingly to keep the conversation as far from the shattered glasses as I could 

- I don’t know how he did that, but Chibs told us you’re not letting things like that slide easily. 

Shit, my brilliant plan didn’t work.

- Look, I don’t want to sound like a toddler, but she started. I’m not here to cause any drama.

- Actually - he looked down trying to hide his smile - I’m sure some people there were glad somebody finally did that. 

- What do you mean? - he tried to lock his eyes with mine but I kept looking at the chicken soup in the corner 

- See, Ima is the CaraCara girl.  Not many are fond of her, but she’s making good money with Layla, and there’s actually no reason to get rid of her, a pornstar being annoying and slutty is not that much of a deal when you think about it. I work at the studio as an accountant so I spend quite a lot of time with the girls, maybe I don’t know them that well, but you know…

- Deep inside she’s just a lost, lovely girl? - I asked with a little sarcasm when I saw him struggling to finish the sentence, but he bursted out laughing 

- No, she’s really just an annoying slut, I don’t know where I was going there.

I finally left the soup and looked at him laughing, felt a smile forming on my face.

- Just don’t blame yourself, you sat here looking like you had a moral hangover.

- I don’t actually blame myself, but feels like I needed someone else to say that, thanks Bobby.

He replied with a warm smile. 

- I should go and finish the party for good now, see you later.

I sat there for a minute after he left. It’s kinda sad people approach me when I’m just sitting alone, my resting face must be extremely depressed. I slowly got up from the chair and dragged my feet back to the bedroom. When I walked into the room Juice just got out of the bathroom. I looked at the single cup of coffee in my hand. Lovely. 

- And that’s… for you - I smiled and handed him the cup which he accepted with his hand still wet from the shower

- Oh wow, so lovely, you went there just to get me a coffee and didn’t even think about yourself? - he took a sip and handed me the cup back with a smile 

- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. 

He would bring me a coffee. 

- Who were you talking to? - he asked calmly but I felt shivers anyway

- No one. 

Why would I lie? What’s the point? He turned back to me and laughed politely to ensure me he’s not mad, but curious. 

- You were sitting there for so long alone? Come on, I just want to know if you’re getting along with anybody - he still smiled softly putting on  his shirt 

- Oh, excuse me? - I laughed forgetting about how uncomfortable I just was - I was talking with Bobby, but just so you know, I get along with a lot of people here. Like Lyla, she’s great. And Chibs. And Tig. Oh, and Opie, yeah, Opie’s cool. And… And Chucky! 

- Okay, alright - he wrapped his arms around me to stop me from thinking of more names - I’m glad you’re feeling good here. 

- Yeah, about feeling good, it’s great here, but can we go home? 

- Sure - he said not letting me go

- I believe you have to let me go so I can grab my stuff and get in the car. 

- Oh Christ, sorry I was even touching you princess. Want me to carry you so your shoes don’t get too dirty? - he responded handing me my bag 

How is he smiling all the time? That’s probably the thing I love about him the most, but that’s also something to think about. On our way to the car we stopped at the bar. Bobby sitting on the stool with his face hidden in his hands was looking pretty pathetic. But not so pathetic as all the people still lying in different, sometimes weird places. 

- How was your finishing the party? - I asked putting my hand on his shoulder, he patted it lightly 

- Just as you can see. You know what? - he looked at our bags - I’m going home too, Clay should handle this, I’m not responsible for other charters, am I? 

- You should go - Juice said firmly, exactly as he needed, Bobby immediately got up and walked us to the car 

- I believe todays vote will be postponed for tomorrow - he said before Juice sat behind the wheel - use your day off well.

Looking at me he smiled once again and next seconds Juice was starting the engine. 

- Gross - I said jokingly 

- What do you mean? 

- That thing about your “day off”. Use it well. On me? Come on. 

- That’s not what he meant - he sounded serious, but a smile was still fully visible on his face 

- Then what did he mean? 

- He definitely meant my bike, I should work on it - he now laughed out loud - by the way, you saw it? 

I moved my head and looked out through the window. 

- Saw what? 

- My bike. 

- Yeah, I see it pretty much everyday, it’s hard to not see it when you live with a biker. It’s nice, even lovely I’d say. 

- I don’t mean that one. 

I kept looking through the window acting like I don’t know about the other one hidden in the garage. He shouldn’t be mad, I definitely didn’t break anything, but maybe he doesn’t know I’ve touched it, why should I tell him myself? 

- You have more than one bike? That’s so cool - I smiled to myself and felt him staring at the back of my head 

- Y/n, you know I won’t be mad. 

- Mad? About what? - I realized he can see my face in the reflection on the glass so I immediately stopped smiling and looked at him. 

- Just wanted to tell that you did well - he smiled at my reaction - must’ve taken you a few hours, huh? 

- I’m sorry, but it’s pretty boring to be alone and not at home, I was looking for anything to do. And when did you even have time to see that I’ve touched it? I left all the tools exactly where they were before, you have like a dairy or what? - I laughed and realized we were pulling into the driveway 

- Sometimes when I can’t sleep and think too much I go there trying to relax, so you don’t know I did that probably because you were sleeping. 

- You know - I stopped because he rushed to open the door for me right after he parked - you know you can talk to me? I’m probably better at that stuff than your secret bike. 

- I’m not schizophrenic or anything, I do all the talking in my head so it won’t be weird. 

I just gave him a meaningful look and followed him inside. 

- I’m worried about tomorrow - I said after settling on the couch 

- What’s tomorrow? Your first day at work? - my blank stare must’ve said everything because he continued without my answer - Why? You did all that nursing stuff before, didn’t you? 

- No, I’ve actually never done that, that’s why they hired me. What’s wrong with you today? - I took a sip of  my tea waiting for his response wondering if I’m not too harsh, but he laughed as softly as always 

- I think I’m just tired. 

- Tired of bitches hitting up on you all night? 

- Alright, from what I can remember there was only one bitch hitting up on me yesterday. 

- And I really hope you mean Ima - I laughed 

I was pretty shocked I got over it so fast and didn’t overthink what happened last night. 

- Well, you definitely don’t need to beg me for attention so I definitely didn’t mean you. 

Is this about the “I love you” thing? I really don’t want to talk about this now. 

- Good to hear that - I smiled and run to another topic immediately - so do we have a free evening today or you want to go check in at the club? 

- Remember what Bobby said? - he asked playfully 

- Oh come on, I’m serious now.

- Yeah, me too. How about a movie night? 

- How about a walk? 

Looking at his face I could see my question put him off guard. 

- What? - I laughed at the silence 

- Where do you want to go? - his tone became more firm and calm

- I don’t know, aren’t there any parks here? - I laughed and grabbed his thigh gently - Juice, if you don’t want to we don’t have to do that, I just asked. But I’d still like to know what’s so terrible about walks. 

I tried to stop smiling but the fact that he looked terrified by the idea of taking a walk was pretty hilarious. 

- No, I’m sorry, of course we can go for a walk, it’s just that I prefer spending my free time at home - he smoothed out the pillow not even looking at me

- Are you really afraid something might happen? - I asked moving other pillows out of his reach when he tried to grab another one 

- l just, you know - I don’t, keep talking - well, many people know me here - he finally got the courage to look at me and his sad puppy eyes literally made me want to cry 

- I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with people knowing who you are? - I truly didn’t understand what he meant and asking was the best option since I wasn’t scared of being embarrassed anymore 

- I’m sorry, I just want you to be safe and I know that there are only two places I can be sure about you not getting hurt, here and at the clubhouse. I know it sounds out of line, but some people want to hurt us and they know their best ways to do that. 

-So the best way to hurt you would be hurting me, huh? - I tried to comfort him and did the literal opposite, but still got a little smile from him 

-I know how it sounds, really. Especially when I told you I’m just a member of a club, but- 

-Yeah, I know it’s not just a club, I’m not that stupid - this time comforting him went a little better and he finally took his hand off the perfectly flattened pillow to grab my hand 

-You’re really important to me, and however unrealistic this sounds, I need to protect you at all costs right now. It’s not always going to be like that, but we got ourselves into some trouble lately. 

-Is it about the drugs? The club trying to leave is just not going as Jax planned? 

Maybe I shouldn’t say that, but on the other hand it might help him to open and talk to me. I already knew more than he thought, why wouldn’t he just talk to me about it now? The silence between us was pretty loud and his concerned face made me want to laugh, but I tried to keep a straight face to show him I’m serious. 

-What do you mean „the drugs”? 

-Oh come on, you really want to play that game? - his question annoyed me a little, even tho I did the same thing all the time 

-How do you even know about that? - he wasn’t angry, more stressed and worried, his hands landing on the pillow again 

-Okay, are you going to answer my question or we don’t have anything to talk about? 

-Yes, it’s about drugs. Leaving the business isn’t as easy as we thought, and Clay is not cooperating with Jax. Except this whole shit with drugs we have a lot going on inside our charter. It looks like nothing is going to be  better unless these two work their shit out, and I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon - he opened even a little more than I expected, but I was so glad he finally did that - that’s why I’m worried about you and about what might happen.

-Thank you for being honest with me, I really appreciate that - I gently took the pillow from him and replaced it with my hands - I know you can’t talk a lot about the club stuff, but you can still talk about your feelings, that’s not pathetic, I cried in front of you so many times, come on.

I tried to lighten him up and believed it worked, since he gave me a bright smile. 

-Okay, I’ll try, but for now is it enough? - he chuckled 

-Well, I accept that, but I’ll demand more honesty in the future if you want to spend it with me. 

I looked down, his hands, always steady, now shaking a little, not matching his cheerful smile. His eyes dark, I could even say full of joy. Hiding his emotions started getting harder, or maybe I was better at reading it. 

-You have no idea how much I want that - he smiled so adorably I almost fell for it, but another look at his hands worried me again 

Using how close we were to each other I sat on his laps and let him hide his face in my neck. His hands immediately started wandering around my back and when they found the spot he pulled me closer. I tried to sink in the moment, when he suddenly threw me off his knees, my back landing on the soft couch I was trapped by his body. It was so gentle, yet so fast that I froze under him. 

-The fuck was that? - I asked completely confused 

-I just wanted to see your reaction, but that little scream was so cute - wide smile wasn’t leaving his face, he looked amused by my consternation - are you ticklish? 

-Juan, don’t try that, get off me - I said firmly trying not to laugh

-I promise I’ll start talking about my feelings, I just need some time - he said not moving 

-Okay, okay, I trust you but let me go - I was now laughing with him 

He slowly got up letting me do the same thing. I got closer to his face, putting my hands around his neck and just looked him in the eyes. Juice immediately shortened the distance by kissing me, licking my lip I opened my mouth to let him in when the doorbell interrupted us. He slowly pulled back and rested his forehead on mine and I just started laughing. Like a damn movie. 

-Stay here - he got up and dragged his feet towards the door unlocking it slowly 

-Hey Juicy - I heard Chibs so I made my way to the door, not wanting him to take my boyfriend away from me again 

My who? 

-Hi Chibs, perfect timing, what’s up? 

-The vote’s tomorrow at 6 - he smiled softly to greet me 

-And that’s why you came all the way here? - I asked amused by Juice’s reaction 

-Well, maybe if he’d pick up his damn phone I wouldn’t have to do that - he stepped through the door and closed it - that vote might take a little longer, I talked to the guys from north and they are not giving up so easily, just so you know - he gave Juice a serious look - am I interrupting you? 

-No, we were just going to my old place to get some stuff, since you have so much free time you can come with us to help - I smiled at him and then saw Juice’s face - we talked about it yesterday… 

-Oh yeah, we did, I’m sorry - he brightened up immediately 

-Actually I don’t have anything better to do, you want me to call Tig? 

-That would be nice - I said before Juice even opened his mouth - Juice, you have any empty boxes in your garage? 

-Yeah, there are some. 

-So I’ll call Tiggy and you kids go find some boxes so we can go - Chibs smiled at us once again and went through the door 

-Juice - I said with a straight face - did you mute your phone to „use your time well” with me? - I tried not to smile 

-Of course not - he laughed and started walking towards the garage - I must’ve did that by accident.

-You’re a bad liar, really. 

-I think that’s good - he pinned me to the wall and kissed me softly - will we finish that later? 

-Oh god, stop - I laughed and walked under his hand to free myself - let’s get the boxes, how many do you have? 

-And how many do you want? You have much stuff there? - he started going through the empty boxes and throwing the bigger ones in my direction 

-Well, should I get all of it? Will you get me a place when I can store them? - I asked while folding the boxes and putting them aside 

-Can’t you just unpack here? Why would you keep your things in the boxes? 

I kept my eyes on the flatted pile I just made. 

-You want me to stay here for good? I know you for like a month, I can’t just move in. 

-So you’re just living here temporarily, huh? - he also wasn’t looking at me but I saw him smiling 

-Well, if that’s what you mean then I can tell you I was looking for some houses for sale here. 

He threw a last one at me and came closer. 

-I mean that I want you to feel like at home here. You don’t have to move out, I have plenty of free space, there’s even a free bedroom upstairs if you don’t want to share the bed anymore. 

-Don’t you think it’s a little bit early to live together? We’re not even a couple or anything - I tried not to look at him but he made it impossible

-Aren’t we? - he took the boxes I just folded and went outside - I want you to stay here - he yelled while putting them in the trunk 

-Tig will wait at the clubhouse for us, I believe you want to switch the car for a bigger one if we’re taking all of your shit here - Chibs said when I met them at the driveway 

-Yeah, sure - I sat on the passenger sit and waited for Juice to join me 

We drove to Lodi in silence, but I saw him looking at me from time to time, smile not leaving his face. I was really happy about what he said, but didn’t want to show him that i really care about that. Acting casual wasn’t my best skill, but I both didn’t want to scare him or just ruin what we already had, so I chose to ignore my feelings for now. When we pulled up Juice parked the truck right in front of the door and guys left their bikes a little closer to the street. When we entered the building my hands were empty, nobody let me carry anything so I just led them upstairs and unlocked the door. 

-So there’s no elevator here, huh? - Tig asked when i was fighting with my shaky hands to put the key in 

-Yeah, you’ll have to carry all the boxes alone, or you can let me help you - I said opening the door and letting them in 

-You’re not carrying anything, just focus on the packing - Chibs said letting me go in front of him - stop whining Tiggy. 

But I wasn’t listening to him, what I saw made me freeze where I was standing. Should’ve cleaned that up before leaving. Blood drops on the floor, marking the paths where I was walking before I cleaned myself up. Bloody tissues on the table and now also on the floor, bathroom sink still covered in blood, perfectly visible since I left the door open. 

-That’s quite a lot of blood for such a small person - Tig said and put the boxes down - but we’ve seen worse, don’t worry, where should we start? 

We’ve seen worse? That’s it? Wow. 

-You can get all the stuff from here and the kitchen, I’ll go get the bathroom and bedroom - I said and quietly left with a few boxes in my hands 

I never liked packing, but today it was different. I never wanted to see that apartment again, it was so nice and I loved it with all my heart, but now it was hard to feel safe here. Glad that nobody interrupted me I just focused on packing when I heard someone knocking on the door. I went to check what’s going on, but seeing the three of them froze, just staring at the door made me laugh. 

-Are we expecting any guests? - Chibs asked when I entered the room 

-Why don’t you just check who that is? - I said a little bit more annoyed than I meant to

I walked toward the door and saw all of them reaching their belts, pretty sure what they had there. 

-That’s fucking pathetic - I said looking at their reaction and slowly opened the door 

-I thought you’re not going to open, like you’re mad that I just left you, oh wait, you can’t be mad, because you’re the one who left me - Nat laughed and walked pass me not waiting for an invitation to come inside - oh hello gentleman - she put her bag on the table

-Guys, that’s Nat, Nat this is Tig and Chibs, I think you remember Juice - I smiled looking at their reaction 

-Of course I remember, hi everyone - she started going through her bag looking for something 

-Tig, don’t even try - I said when I saw him walking her way - you’re all being rude right now - I laughed when they just kept looking at her not saying anything and got a quiet “hi Nat” from all three as a response 

-But she’s not going to kill us, right? - Chibs joked looking around at the bloody mess - she’s not the one I guess? 

-Sadly I left all my white weapons at home, so you have advantage over me - she moved her head up and looked at his belt - oh I found it, you’re going for a smoke? - she put her lighter in the pocket and looked at me 

-Sure - I responded quickly and followed her to the balcony - how did you even know I’m here? You’re stalking me or what? - I laughed as soon as the door closed behind us 

-I was just walking by and saw two bikes in front of the building, who else could it be? - she sat on the bench and kept looking at me with her weird, cute smile 

-Why are you looking at me like that? - I laughed - it’s been a week, not like I’ve abandoned you or anything 

-Are you okay? I’m sorry, but your explanations over texts weren’t really convincing - she patted the spot besides her 

-I had some mess to clean up lately - I said sitting down 

-Yeah, pretty cute mess - she looked through the window at guys packing my stuff - you live with them? 

-They don’t live together - I laughed loudly at her question - I’m staying at Juice’s for now, I’m not sure what to do next. 

-He rescued you and let you move in after knowing you for a month? What a hero - I knew it was not fully sarcastic, even tho she tried to sound like it - he loves you or what? 

-He actually told me he does - I responded not looking at her 

-Are you shitting me right now? You love him too? Girl what happened to your independent, 'I don’t need any man', lifestyle. I thought you’re just going to fuck him - she shook her head in fake disbelief trying not to laugh 

-I actually don’t know, I didn’t say anything. 

-Okay, you really have to be kidding me - she laughed now 

-Oh shut up, do you want to help me pack since you’re here? 

About an hour later a stack of heavy boxes filled with all my stuff was standing near the door. Tig and Chibs went to the bus to pack the first ones and I sat on the couch to clear things out with Nat. 

-You’re not mad at me, are you? - I asked watching as Juice went to the kitchen and leaned back on the counter 

-Why would I be? - she laughed - because you left me in this shitty town with my shitty job? Come on y/n, I always cheered you up, I’m really glad you got the job you wanted so bad. 

-The job is one thing,  it I still moved away not even telling you straight away, I feel kinda bad about it - and what I said was honest, I knew it was my life and I was the only person who should decide about it, but the demons from my past or whatever we’re still chasing me and I felt like I needed permission for everything 

-Sweetheart - she looked at me with her lovely eyes, and leaned in to make sure I can hear every word she says - are you fucking kidding me? It’s your life and you have to be god damn happy, don’t worry about other people so much, we’ve already been there and I thought you understood it’s a bad idea.

We both laughed and I picked my bag from the floor when the guys came back upstairs. 

-Okay, let’s go - I grabbed a box and headed to the door 

-I don’t think so - Chibs took it from me and placed it back down on the floor - ten minutes and everything should be handled, you should spare your wrists.

Nat joined me and watched all the of them carrying the boxes downstairs.

-What’s your schedule next weekend? - I asked when they disappeared behind the last wall

-Not sure yet, why? Want me to come visit your big town? - she laughed and threw her bag over her shoulder 

-Yeah, you should come by, I’ll probably be alone for a while - she smiled at me and slowly walked through the door

-We’ll keep in touch - she blowed me a kiss - bye, love ya.

-When are you planning to start unpacking? - Juice was leaning on the kitchen counter and looking at the boxes besides the door

I walked up to the fridge and got myself a beer.

-Are they bothering you so much? - I stood next to him looking in the same direction 

-I mean, not really, just wondering - he took a sip from his bottle 

-Oh, you’re such a pedant - I smiled at him - I wanted to at least start today, but I don’t think I have enough energy for that, I’m sorry. This work thing is kind of stressing me out, like it’s my first day ever. I just want it to be over, then I’ll take care of other stuff, is that okay?

-Of course it’s okay - he looked at me as softly as always, I wondered what would I have to do to make him mad - I’ll help you whenever you’re ready.

I didn’t have a chance to answer, because his phone drown my quiet „thanks” out. After his short answers I could immediately recognize it was a call from the club. What else could it be? I was expecting that.

-I need you to come with me - he said firmly while putting his cell back in the pocket 

-I can stay alone Juice, we’ve talked about it. I’ll be fine. 

-No - he looked serious and worried at the same time - They need you at the clubhouse.

I wasn’t expecting that.

-Why? What happened? - I asked when he nervously started looking for the car keys

-Couldn’t tell me on the phone - he answered calmly, still not looking at me - so probably there’s someone to patch up.

-Okay - I said without hesitation and he finally looked at me

-You don’t have to get involved in the club shit, that’s my shit and I can get you out of it if you want. Just this one time if there really isn’t anyone else to help, we’ll figure this out, okay?

-Juice - now I was smiling softly - I’m fine with that, really. Our shit now.

We hurried through the door and it was surprisingly quiet inside, but everyone got up from their seats when we walked through the door. 

-Kozik got hit, Tara’s out of town and we need someone to take care of him. Her bag is already there, just come with me - Jax grabbed my arm and pulled me slightly so | would follow him

I entered the chapel and heard multiple footsteps following me, but I couldn’t focus on that. A blonde man was laying on the massive wooden table. His bare chest was covered in blood, a hole in his upper arm made it pretty clear that he was shot. I froze, not at the fact that a man with probably a bullet in his body was casually laying on the table, a prospect next to him trying to stop the bleeding, but because I was the one to help him. I haven’t done anything like that in some time, had no idea where to start I started panicking quietly. 

-Tell us how to help - Chips nudged me softly but firmly 

-Did it went through? - I asked filled with fake hope 

-Did it what? - the prospect holding a soaked cloth looked at me like I was a ghost 

-How many holes are there? - I smiled sarcastically - Is the bullet still inside or did it went through? Let me see. 

Chibs helped raising Kozik’s arm up and of course the bullet was still inside 

-I’m not a damn neuro or ortho to deal with such stuff smoothly - I said looking through Tara’s bag and trying to focus.

-You don’t have to get him perfectly fine, we can cut that arm off if you’ll say that’s the best option.

-Shut up Tig, that’s not funny anymore - said Jax

I looked up and saw him sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, sipping on his beer like nothing was happening.

I came back to the table and took a closer look at the wound. 

-It’s not deep, you have to hold him still and I’ll take the bullet out - I wasn’t sure how to do that, I had to deal with worse things in the past, but every memory of it just vanished at instant - I’ll count to three.

The faster the better. I saw a bloody mess before digging my fingers into the hole. It was gross even through the gloves, I thought I can feel my legs shaking. Trying not to make more damage I wanted to focus but the screams made it impossible and I couldn’t find the right angle to take a grip on the bullet. 

-Shut him the fuck up - I said calmly concentrating on where my fingers were going and suddenly I looked at my hand, hovered in blood, holding a shiny piece of metal

Glad that the worst part was already over I started to put stitches on, kinda surprised the bleeding almost stopped. 

-I don’t think any arteries were damaged, he should be fine soon - I said to Jax who was sitting on a stool next to mine 

-I really appreciate you came to help us, thank you - he said sadly, eyes locked on the countertop in front of him

-You’ve helped me enough, that’s the least I can do. If you ever need me again, don’t hesitate, I’ll gladly do it again - I said knowing it was bullshit, but he smiled slightly - I really have to go now, but I can check in tomorrow after work if you want me to. 

-That would be great, thank you - he said and I left to find Juice - Are you coming with me? - I said when our eyes met 

-Of course, let’s go -  his eyes not as bright as always, smile almost fully fainted and I instantly knew he was just disappointed with me

Tara would’ve done it better, of course, but she’s not here. I’m not even a doctor, and he’s alive so overall I didn’t do such a bad job. I rested my head on the cold window as I sat down in the passengers seat. The sky was beautifully clear, you could count all the stars, a perfect night for a walk, but surely I should forget about that. I closed my eyes and waited for the car to stop so I could just go to bed and burry myself under the covers. When we pulled up I took my purse from the back seat and grabbed the door handle, but Juice was faster as always. He opened the door for me and gave me his gentle hand along with a polite smile. I rushed ahead of him and quickly changed into my pajamas before crawling into bed, but it wasn’t long before he joined me, putting his hand on m hip and kissing my shoulder. We laid in silence for what felt like hours and I couldnt get myself to sleep, move or even talk. I was completely frozen wandering what he was thinking about.

-I’m sorry - was all I mumbled after getting enough courage to open my mouth

-You’re not asleep? - he stopped rubbing my arm and sounded pretty shocked 

-I really am, I know I should’ve done better, but I was just scared. I don’t know why, it’s not the circumstances, I just felt like I never did that before and it is fucking scary looking at the fact that im supposed to do such stuff everyday starting tomorrow. I think I’ve lost my damn spark, or whatever it was, I should just stayed behind the bar and do what I was good at. I don’t want that job anymore, I don’t want to do that and I’m scarred I’ll fuck someone's life soon, that’s clearly not for me. 

He didn’t interrupt my monologue, just grabbed my shoulder and rolled me over so that I was facing him. Is he really fucking smiling right now?

-I know it sounds pathetic and I don’t just feel sorry for myself, I think I-

He interrupted me this time with a soft chuckle followed by a clearly sad face.

-I should apologize to you, I promised to keep my life away from you, but I didn’t really have a choice there. But you did great y/n, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

-My hands were shaking - I said seriously 

-Have you ever taken a bullet out of a stranger’s arm? In a motorcycle clubhouse? Surrounded by a dozen of other bikers? - he smiled, but I knew it wasn’t honest

-No, but that’s not the point Juice - I heard my voice trembling, not aware of being at the edge of crying

-Oh don’t do that to me, I hate when you cry, especially when it's because of me, I promised not to do that anymore, remember? - his smile seemed more confident now and I almost fell for it 

-It’s not because of you, I don’t want to do that anymore.

-Then don’t - he said calmly looking me in the eyes

-What do you mean, „don’t”?

-Well, just don’t work, be a house wife and let me support you - he got a quiet laugh from me

-I’m sorry I’m such a whiner sometimes.

-I’m sorry I got you into that - he looked at the clock - you should go to sleep now, it’s late.

I didn’t want to know what time it is and I was glad he stayed quiet, knowing how little sleep I’ll get before my first day wasn’t a good idea. I snuggled into his chest feeling relaxed and safe, as I should’ve from the beginning. Next time just talk to him, burying your emotions won’t help.

-Thank you, goodnight.

-Goodnight, I love you. 

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