#But I’ve SEEN this thing before and not from pkmn
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Snout supreme
#368#gorebyss#pokemon from memory#Ok I’m wracking my brain this looks like something from another piece of media#I can’t put my finger on it#And I’m not even sure I want to#But I’ve SEEN this thing before and not from pkmn#Worm on a string perhaps?#Idk but concerning nonetheless
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On Love
So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners:
Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible
Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything
Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.
El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh
Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college
A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited
Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me
Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love
to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:
Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.
H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour
Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart
Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet
O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D
to beautiful quotes:
Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN
Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)
Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things
Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne
Mary: "Love is watching someone die."
Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"
Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"
V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?
Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!
Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka
Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention
to practices of love:
Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro
A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.
L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.
Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)
Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift
Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.
Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random
Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror
to crushes and potential loves:
Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.
Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine
Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants
Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else
Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes
Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still
Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me
to the trials of love:
Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk
Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it
Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.
Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love
L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start
Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him
Sean: Good luck it dont exist
Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3
13: I don’t know anymore
M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol
to beloved characters:
Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension
Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love
to advice and prose:
Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...
Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.
Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love
H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love
Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures
Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others
to the small, the simple, and the sweet:
Ireal: Poems
O: Flowers
Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.
Ad: we love LOVE
A: <3
Isak: small things
H: intense
Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away
S: her
E: <3
Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^
Catboy: wholesome
J: i love love so much it hurts
Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3
Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great
Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring
M: i love love
to food!
Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!
Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?
and animals too <3
Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!
96: raccoons ????
DJ Big Penis: cats
:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,
I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.
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I should introduce myself one day
Damn, I like to lurk and give my opinions but I really should make an introduction before being considered like some creeps you have no info on them but they are here in your followers and they never say a word to you but like your posts
Sooo my pseudo is a mix of Amano and Tsukyo just because I don’t want to have sus people bugging me with their immaturity if they know me as Amano in some games, but you can call me just “Ama” with this so “Ama-Tsukyo”
I’m half belgian half sicilian but I live in Belgium with the french community, I don’t want people think I’m 20 yo forever because I was lazy to change it so my birthdate is the 3rd July 2001
I don’t like to talk for nothing, that’s why I end up being a lurker, I’m kinda a mix sarcasm and jokes. Some call me funny, interesting and wise when others find me bad or weird, depends on the situation and person.
Well, I’ve finished with the “basic” intro so here’s when it becomes weird :
I’m sort of a mess with my likings and hobbies, I like to watch, play and read everything I find interesting with a true story in it but I don’t like books, too popular things, chinese & korean dub and bad graphisms so I have a strong distaste against Dragon Ball, I don’t like One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, Jujutsu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, etc... in animes, adding the ones with girls abundance cliché/harem, also Minecraft, Roblox, League of Legends, Fortnite and Genshin Impact games wise.
Since I’m already in the blacklist of some with this first line, here’s my favorites : Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Pokémon, Miraculous Ladybug and Undertale/deltarune. I like comedy, action, adventure, detective, mystery, romance and fantasy genres the most.
And since I like to lose more people with my tastes, I can talk about the characters I like :
Ganauche III, Tsunayoshi Sawada, Enma Kozato and Skull from KHR;
Ash Ketchum, Gary Oak, James, Ash’s Oshawott, Allan, Kiawe, Guzma and Raihan from Pokémon;
Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Félix Graham de Vanily, Luka Couffaine, Alix Kubdel and Kagami Tsurugi from Miraculous;
Melon from Beastars;
Luz, Edric and Hunter from TOH;
Ram and Reinhard from Re:zero;
Ray, Jumin and Seven from Mystic Messenger;
Kotaro Tatsumi from Zombieland Saga;
Arataka Reigen from Mob Psycho;
Saitama, Genos and Zombieman from OPM;
Shinso Hitoshi, Shindo Yo, Dabi, Stain, Kai Chisaki and Rody Soul from MHA.
There’s more but it’ll be too much if I continue so I’ll quickly say the characters I dislike strongly :
Adrien Agreste (MLB) gets on my nerves after Puppeteer 2 where he already hurts Marinette too much to my taste, I’m not known for my patience.
Eri (MHA) is too pitiful and loveable, like people coo at her and she has to be seen adorable.
Goh (Pokémon) is a cheater, he catches too easily the poké’, doesn’t have any real good relationship with his pkmn and he has a shitty goal like when you’d think Mew will come at you just because you catch all the poké’ in the world.
Furomitsu Seiko (Mystery to Iunakare) is a weak woman and a stalker who crush on the MC for nothing and he doesn’t seem interested at all
If there’s people who didn’t block me or put in their blacklist at the end of this introduction, nice to meet you all and I hope we get along well
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Time for another New Pokémon Snap deep dive!
To get started, let’s talk about the new Pokémon confirmed in this trailer. There’s a few more than last time, but more significantly, many of them are pretty hard to spot! Like the first trailer, a good few of them are only visible in small photos.
This trailer reveals 29 new Pokémon (yes, you can count fine, hang on), and 1 additional form:
Bulbasaur
Venusaur
Metapod
Raichu (Alolan)
Kangaskhan
Eevee
Vaporeon
Chinchou
Sudowoodo
Espeon
Tyranitar
Celebi
Lotad
Trapinch
Flygon
Cradilly
Luvdisc
Lumineon
Tangrowth
Stoutland
Unfezant
Audino
Frillish
Alomamola
Vivillon (Ocean)
Pancham
Lycanroc (Midnight)
Minior
Sobble
The official site also updated recently. New materials there reveal 2 new Pokémon, and 1 additional form:
Sawsbuck (Summer)
Florges
Trevenant
Just look at all those teeny little photos! As before, I have to thank some friends for helping to ID a couple Pokémon. We’re up to 96 confirmed species.
This trailer also gave us a much better look at some of the difficult-to-spot Pokémon from the previous trailers, such as Inkay and Sandygast. We can also be more certain that the coral is just coral.
And thanks to the site, we’ve also gotten a better look at at least one area only seen in small pieces in the trailers. This oasis, never seen clearly elsewhere, is not quite as mysterious anymore.
That said, a brand new mystery cropped up in this trailer to take the place of those that have been solved. You may have noticed something familiar that happened with the first trailer. And that is...this bug, unidentified, hanging off the backside of the tree near Hoothoot! Definitely a 97th Pokémon, as it doesn’t match any of the others seen yet, but there’s not nearly enough here for a positive identification. The current suspicions are that this is most likely Venomoth, however.
A couple smaller mysteries are also present. A growl can be heard during the trailer’s final scene, with no visual cues for which Pokémon it came from. It sounds likely to be Liepard, already confirmed for the game, but we can’t be sure quite yet. Was a bit of a surprise either way.
And a new NPC can also be spotted in the lab in this trailer, one who is yet to be introduced.
Now then, how about other reveals? We already knew Pokémon food from the original was returning, but the new trailer reveals a proper name for it in this title: Fluffruit. This trailer also reveals the return of the Poké Flute in some form. And a new item, called an Illumina Orb, can reportedly make any Pokémon glow. We still don’t know much about the effects of glowing.
On the subject of the Illumina Phenomenon though, and keeping on track with the mysteries, the website seems to hint at some strange flowers being related to it, and these can be seen all over the third trailer (in addition to showing up a few times in the earlier ones). These flowers have large, prominent crystals in the center and come in multiple colours. It seems like these flowers are what the lab’s crest is modeled after.
Onto other things that came up in the trailer, let’s talk about scores. I didn’t touch on it much last time as it was only seen on the website and not in the trailer, but we got another look at the scoring system for the game, which does some things differently than in the original. For the unfamiliar, the original Pokémon Snap featured the following scoring metrics: Special, Size, Pose, Technique, and Other PKMN.
In New Pokémon Snap, it appears that Technique has been broken up into Direction and Placement and is no longer a multiplier. Same PKMN has been generalized to Other Pokémon and does not need to be the same species. And while the Size bonus appears to be more lenient than the original at first glance, not seen in the trailer is that the Size score is not capped at 1,000. There is also a new scoring metric for Background.
While it’s not seen yet whether the Special pose bonuses will return, it’s possible they’ve been replaced by something new: a system that ranks how rare the behavior captured is. Each Pokémon’s page in the Photodex allows you to assign a photo for each level of rarity, which should lend an extra layer to the replayability that Pokémon Snap is already known for.
Also shown off in the trailer are features for editing the photos you take. You’ll be able to fine tune photos, add filters, and apply stickers. The system is far more robust than you’d expect to be possible for any real photo, but is in line with what we’ve seen in many other games with screenshot modes. ;)
Also teased was a built-in online gallery, available for players with NSO service. The site also reveals that there will be online leaderboards.
And that’s it! There’s a little more information to be found on the site, though I’ve already written about the bulk of it for now. And in just two short months, New Pokémon Snap will be released. Regardless of whether we get more information in that time, we definitely don’t have long left to wait.
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You know, I realize I’ve been away from this blog for so long that I should probably give a life update?? If you’re curious about what my life has been like for the past 3 years, read on haha
I’ll just bullet point them...
Last I was really here on a personal level I lost my 15 year old cousin. I don’t really wanna get into the details of it since I’ve discussed it in the past. But it was a horrible accident that resulted in a HUGE and very tiring law suit that my family fortunately won. It’s an event that really changed the course of my life and my outlook on pretty much everything. It’s something I think about daily.
I graduated from college!! It took me 7 years to do it and nearly flunking out, but I did it and I’ve never been prouder of myself! >w< I have a degree in English and I couldn’t be happier! My graduation day was the proudest moment of my life!!
I work as an editor for an online magazine and it’s actually the worst thing ever lol I don’t wanna get too public about it, but I’ve been working there for 2 years now and my boss is literally the scum of the earth. I’ve been through probably 10 different rotations of coworkers and none of the people who were there when I started work there anymore lol The longest I’ve had a coworker for is 7 months. But hey, it’s a job, right?
I don’t speak to my mother anymore. Again, won’t get into too much detail, but we had a violent incident involving her take place a year and a half ago. The cops needed to be called and my sister and I were basically told we’re allowed to have a restraining order if we want (we chose not to because legal matters are... complicated). She’s SEVERELY mentally ill and being around her was doing more harm than good. We’ve tried to sort it out in therapy many times over, but she won’t give. A very recent incident involving her blowing up on Facebook has left us cut off from her entirely, pretty much.
I have my own apartment and I live with my two best friends! :D One of whom is my childhood best friend @kasuria and the other is my other best friend who I actually met here on Tumblr years ago @noodlerama! I’m so happy living with them. Getting to see them every day of my life is like a dream come true T AT Some people move in with their romantic S/Os, well I’ve got my best friend S/Os and I couldn’t ask for anything more!
My puppy Molly unfortunately passed away suddenly last June due to health complications :( She was 12 years old, which is a good age, but man I miss her so much. My mother didn’t even have the decency to tell my sisters and I that she was sick. We got the text 15 minutes before she died that she wasn’t doing well, so we didn’t get the chance to say goodbye and my mom buried her before we could come over so that we couldn’t see her. It’s something I’m still grappling with. Losing her was very hard on me and I miss her CONSTANTLY. I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to “move on” fully until I have a dog of my own. I just miss her so much.
But, on a happier note, Kelly, Dimitri, and I got a kitten last year! ; ^; She’s a black and white short hair named Mochi! She’s a little ball of energy who I adore to death. I’ve never had a cat before and never considered myself to be a cat person, but I just love her so much. She’s perfect in every way. She’s super friendly and affectionate. I just really love animals. I’m actually on a breeder’s list to get an Akita (Japanese) eventually, but I want to be a little more steady financially before I fully invest. Maybe next year?
I’ve picked up drawing again! I used to draw all the time, but lost confidence in high school and stopped. But then I decided... why not try again? And I’m really happy I did! It’s been so much fun and I’m learning all the time! I finally get to draw my OCs for real ; ^; I’m also still writing avidly! Especially lately! I’m pretty close to finishing the next PDTL chapter... I just have to... do it lol
Fandom-wise, you can probably tell I’m VERY into Little Witch Academia at the moment. I watched the show when it aired, but my love for it was reignited recently for no real reason lol I just adore Akko Kagari with all my heart... BUT Pokemon will always be my forever girl. I love Pokeani so much and have been watching the new series every week! I love Goh and Ash ;A; They’re such good boys! And I’m still super into Love Live! I actually got to see Aqours perform in LA a few years ago, and also got to see Guilty Kiss with all of my friends in NYC this past fall! It was so much fuuunnnn.
My OCs are still my life. Kelly and I have been working super hard on updating profiles and stuff. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of these kiddos. If you haven’t seen our pokeani OCs, please check out our blog @pkmn-downtheline!
Like everyone else I am... in quarantine right now and... dealing lol It’s not great, but I’m sort of an introvert by nature anyways, so it could be worse, I guess? I miss going out, seeing my friends, conventions, and everything, though... It sucks and I want this to be over. But I understand we gotta do this till COVID passes. But uugghhh I’m tired lol
That’s basically it! My life has had a LOT of crazy ups and downs over the past few years, but I’m still pushing through and moving forward. I just wanna take things one day at a time. But I’m here more once again and it’s been nice! Tumblr really is a good platform, even if it is a little broken lol
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Mun Things and Fandom Notes
about the mun. fill this out & tag a few people you’d like to get to know better !
tagged by the lovely @vetlanwrites tysm
tagging some people I haven’t tagged before: @amalgammuses, @animus-inspire, @kychchc, @rotinthedark, @warofthebeasts & YOU!
name: my name is [ loud music interrupts ]
nickname: you can call me Kat or KF!
preferred pronouns: she/her
age range: 30+
favorite animal: cats
pets: cat and a dog
tattoos/piercings: I had my ears pierced several times and they won’t stay pierced so I gave up on anything -shrug-
star sign: virgo! I’m an August bby
how long have you been in this fandom?: doing just the ones I currently have muses for, and not the ones I’ve only talked about -
Dragonball(Z) - I’ve been writing in DBZ since... oh geez, the late 90′s? I think the first fic I ever posted was DBZ and it was around that time. I didn’t start rping it until like, early 00′s though.
Final Fantasy - I actually dabbled in 9 a little bit around the time it came out in ‘00 (my friend had it!) but I wouldn’t say I really did much until I really got into 7, and that was around... geez, ‘05? I rped it a little with a friend around then but I didn’t really start writing it much until nearly ‘10. #latetotheparty Yet I do consider it my “home” fandom - I always come back to it.
Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons - early ‘00s! My first HM/SoS game was Friends of Mineral Town on my trusty GBA and I love it so much to this day. SO excited for the remake!
Legend of Zelda - I really, really loved Ocarina of Time from the get-go when I got it on the N64 in ‘98 (I got it again for the GameCube and the 3DS and would totally buy it for the Switch, just sayin.) Majora’s Mask creeped me out a bit and was stressful but I liked it, too. And then of course later titles like Twilight Princess were just... -chef’s kiss- but I didn’t really dig into the fandom until ‘10-’11 when I started rping Link with a friend and briefly tried joining a forum rp group (shoutout to ZRPG!) with an OC
Marvel Cinematic Universe - I want to say around ‘12, when Avengers came out? Like, I’d seen Iron Man but I didn’t really dig into it until then.
Pokémon - late 90′s / early 00′s because I first started my Pkmn journey playing Gold and Crystal. While I didn’t write fanfic or rp it, I definitely had headcanons and a lot of feels.
Sailor Moon - early 90′s! I first watched the anime as it came out, though I’ve since forgotten most of that and only have the manga/crystal in my head to run interpretations off of. It was so pretty tho.
Stardew Valley - a newer fandom for me, I really only started getting “into” it about a year ago, but man... I love it, I really do
Star Wars - despite early access to the OT as a kidlet, I didn’t actually get “into” Star Wars until the Prequels in ‘99 (fite me) when I fell in love with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and promptly, voraciously, dove into fixit and timetravel fanfic. By the time KOTOR came out in ‘03 I was hooked.
Threads of Fate - I think I got into this one on the ground floor, so to speak. My friend had just gotten it and I borrowed it from her and my brother’s PS1 in ‘00 and that was it, I was in love.
why did you choose this specific character/s?: under a cut bc I have like... nearly 30 muses now
I’m doing alphabetical order (by fandom / first name) bc it’s just easier to go down my list:
tl;dr I picked them all because I love them. Read on to find out why. Click their names to read their bios!
Dragonball Z
Vegeta - oh man, actually one of the first characters I ever rp’d or wrote in fic, and that’s saying something. I picked him because I love him. He’s an absolute ass, but he grows so much throughout Z. (I have yet to see Super, hoping to one day remedy that but we’ll see!) I guess I picked him up for nostalgia’s sake? I really love the character and think there’s a lot of growth yet to see buried under that pride and ego. If you can unearth it.
Final Fantasy
Angeal Hewley (FF7) - actually my first muse on Tumblr, back in... oh, 2013? The blog has been deleted, but he was the first muse I ever played seriously out of FF7. There’s parts of Angeal that really resonate with me, enough that - when I was a less experienced writer - I got tangled up in him a bit too much, made him a bit too personal, and I realized I had to take a step back from writing him. But I love Angeal, and after some time had passed, having written him in various fics, I’ve felt confident adding him... even if I haven’t done anything with him here yet.
Cait Sith (FF7) - I know a lot of people see Cait Sith as all sorts of negative things, but frankly I adore the little guy. And I guess I took him on partially because I couldn’t take Reeve on and not take Cait on, but partially because I see so much in him that could be interesting to explore and would really, really love to. (Any Reeve’s or AVALANCHE - or Turks! - come at me!)
Chaos (FF7) - I picked Chaos up on a whim, as far as Tumblr goes. I really enjoy rping him/Vincent off Tumblr and writing him in fics, and I suppose I just wanted to present a different side of him than I usually see. I’ve even had a thread that has a great deal of promise so I think it was worth it.
Genesis Rhapsodos (FF7) - my third FF7 blog, I think? It’s still up, though obviously not in use, just because I’d put so much work into it. I really adore Genesis, and love writing him. I love his sass and flare, but I love that he’s deeper than all the fire and flamboyance, if you’re willing to look past that. I’m lucky that I’ve had some lovely partners to explore him with, though I’d still kill for an Angeal to throw him at. XD Or a Sephiroth, for that matter.
Lazard Deusericus (FF7) - Lazard, my second FF7 blog and an unexpected love. I picked him up because I had recently started writing him in earnest with an off-Tumblr rp partner ( @thegeeksqueaks ) and was really enjoying him, and hadn’t seen him on Tumblr yet so thought I might get more partners that way. (It turned out there were a couple but they were inactive.) His first blog was accidentally deleted - over five years worth of character development and relationships - so after briefly working him up again solo I brought him over here. He’s not getting the same level of attention but it’s worth it not to be juggling blogs.
Reeve Tuesti (FF7) - pre-Remake, most of the Reeve rpers had gone inactive (shoutout to the fabulous @engineering-robotics and @animus-inspire for coming back!) and just... I love the character too much not to see him in the RPC. Of course, I love to write him period myself so I’d love more threads there but regardless he’s so much fun.
Tristan Pierce (FF7 OC) - Triiiiiiiiiis. Tristan was actually born as an NPC off of Lazard’s blog, who took a life on his own because he was just... so full of life. He actually had his own blog, too! I’ve barely done anything with him here, but I still keep him just because he gives me feels and he’s just neat. (He does still appear in the background of Lazard’s threads though.)
Harvest Moon / Story of Seasons
Iris (SoS) - I actually picked up Iris as a muse first for a fantastic HM/SoS/SDV/etc rp group I’m in a couple years ago, and liked playing her so much I thought I’d bring her here. Elegant lady novelist? Yes please.
Neil (ANB) - unlike Iris and Trent, I haven’t written Neil anywhere else, but he’s my love from A New Beginning and just... he seems like he’d be fun to write? I’d love to flesh him out.
Doctor/Trent (FoMT/MFoMT; DS/CUTE) - Trent, like Iris, is one I write for the rp group and I legit picked him up because of the opportunity for h/c I am not sorry. But seriously though, he’s grown on me so much and I love my awkward doctor.
Legend of Zelda
Midna (Twilight Princess) - TP is one of my absolute favorite Zelda games, and Midna a favorite character. There’s just so much to her you don’t get to see that I was really hoping to get to dig into, still hope one day to. We’ll see. Worth keeping on roster.
Revali (Breath of the Wild) - my newest addition! I keep saying in complete seriousness “Genesis with more feathers” but seriously, I may have a type? I love him so much and wanted to see more of him, and by god if I have to do it myself so be it. (I have been playing a ton of BOTW lately which probably has a lot to do with it. XD)
Sheik (Ocarina of Time) - I love them so much. OoT didn’t have a ton of character building, but the sheer implications of the character speaks volumes that I want to explore. I’m lucky enough to be getting the chance to, too.
Marvel Cinematic Universe
Tony Stark - did I mention I have a type? I feel he makes a good argument for it. I originally picked Tony up because I just fell head over heels for the character in the first couple Iron Man movies + Avengers. I... am less in love with him in the later movies, not gonna lie, and am so far behind on lore that I’m considering dropping him. But yeah, originally picked him up just because he had so much potential. Thx Disney, great job there.
Pokémon (gameverse)
Lily Hart (HG/SS OC) - another OC of mine, this time for a fandom that... I only really know through the games, as opposed to manga/anime. I picked her up because I really liked the idea of doing events or little ask things with her, and still may try to initiate some more of those. We’ll see?
Sailor Moon (manga/Crystal)
Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury - I actually picked Ami up because of a plot with @magicalxgirlsxrp where we were splitting up the Inners and the Shitennou for some mega threads. XD But yeah, I do like her. Even if she’s a challenge to write sometimes because she’s very much not like me, and very much smarter.
Kunzite - Kunzite I have always loved, always, and I’ve had him on here because I really wanted to explore him more. I love him even more after the teasing in Crystal of what might have been, be still my shippy heart.
Mamoru Chiba/Endymion/Tuxedo Mask - super fond of Mamoru, too; I didn’t care for him so much in the 90′s anime, but in the manga and Crystal I really became more fond. I do a few things differently, I think, but don’t we all? I picked him up for that very reason, in fact.
Minako Aino/Sailor Venus - Minako is really interesting to me because there’s so much more to her than her airheaded, bubbly persona that fits her like a glove... but is just as superficial. I mean, she’s sunny and happy but she’s also the OG Senshi, the leader of the Inners, a powerful, commanding fighter - she’s complex, and I really wanted to explore that + getting to have fun with her bubbliness.
Nephrite - another picked up from @magicalxgirlsxrp‘s enabling. But I do find him really interesting so it works out well. Haven’t done a lot with him, but we have plans. Plans I’m looking forward to.
Stardew Valley
M. Rasmodius - I knew I really wanted to do something with SDV, once I got to playing it, but I wasn’t sure who. I thought about Sebastian and Elliot, but already had interacted with a couple who were just fantastic. So instead, I did a good fallback of mine - because I never, ever get tired of playing mages. Ever. XD
Star Wars
HK-47 (KOTOR) - the attitude. I wanted to write HK entirely because of the scorching levels of sass from this droid.
Liana Raine (SWTOR f!JC) - the Jedi Consular storyline is one of my favorites out of all of SWTOR (tied with the Inquisitor, but I’m revamping her) and I really just wanted to keep playing with it even once I’d done the dedicated storyline.
Revan (KOTOR LS!F) - give me female Revan you cowards. -ahem- I have feels about Revan, okay? I love her so, so much - she even had her own blog, I love her that much. I would absolutely love to do something more with her but I will hold on to her if for no other reason than to make sure at least one black, female Revan exists in the world. (I want all the timetravel and crossover threads, hit me up.)
Tharan Cedrax (SWTOR) - another for attitude, really, and also definitely my type. XD He’s charming, he’s snarky, he’s sassy, he’s brilliant... I very much like Tharan and really felt he, like most of the companions, deserved more screentime. So, I’m here to give it to him.
Threads of Fate (Dewprism)
Duke - he’s so cool. I mean, he’s a dork, but his powers are amazing and he’s just a fun, incredibly upbeat character to play. And well, anything to spread my love of that teeny fandom.
Fancy Mel - Mel hits all the sweet spots for a mage character. She’s got flavor, she’s got amazing powers, and she had room to create a fantastic backstory with amazing crossover potential. Is she a bit OP? Yes. But she has no intention of using it for anything but her amusement/whimsy.
Rod the Bladestar - I love Rod. I love his oddly genteel manners, I love how he’s unwittingly sexist but quickly cleans up his act when put straight, I love how driven and passionate he is. Could do without such a typically-Square-outfit, but you can’t have everything. (In the right artists’ hands, he might even be pretty amazing, actually.)
Did you read all of that? Amazing. Any of them strike your interest? Hmu and maybe we could plot a thread! :eyes:
Also I sincerely apologize to mobile users who had to read all that because Tumblr can’t get it’s act together.
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ok so here’s how im converting m20 to fit my canon:
i already have a kanto 2.0 verse, my current main one, so it’s taking place during that.
that means that we’re skipping all the satoshi-&-pikachu-first-meeting stuff & replacing the getting of og team pkmn with getting 2.0 team pkmn, which i’ve got listed in the dossier, which also means the whole butterfree thing is also omitted.
of course satoshi & pikachu still see houou & get the feather, it’s just that the circumstances are changed to being their third sighting of the birb god & while walking the same route that they originally saw it on, which goes with the whole “starting from zero″ thing.
m21 happens after the houou sighting but before satoshi’s caught any pokemon.
i’ve got satoshi challenging new gyms because obviously kanto has more than just the eight gyms, but i also don’t Know the other gyms, so, while i kinda do want to say he doesn’t challenge the tamamushi gym, instead i’ll say he challenges it again because they never did get to finish their gym battle the first time he did, thanksrocketgang.
i’ve already got satoshi traveling alone in this verse so the temporary addition of makoto & souji is still a thing, the circumstances of their meetings staying the same.
cross is still a part of it & is still the previous owner of one of satoshi’s pkmn, just not hitokage; the pokemon abandoned was a ponyta, which eventually evolved into gallop within the span of the plot.
satoshi’s already heard about the enju city’s bell tower & the connected legend about houou & the resurrected pokemon, & says as much when he notes to souji the slight difference between his version & the one satoshi’s heard in enju city, & mentions having met suicune at makoto’s comment.
because satoshi’d seen houou for the third time, him showing the feather was out of remembering about it instead of finally having a name to put to the pkmn.
omitting the part where satoshi’s wounds get healed because that would result in healing his perma-scars as well & i’ve already decided on tetefu being the one to do that & i’m not backtracking now.
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So I already wrote a lot in the tags of this post [on my main blog] abt my Pokesona and love for Sylveon, but I think it’s worth repeating here, too. A post I can tag and show others, cause everything about my pokesona I’ve accidentally put a lot of work and self into, and I think that’s something worth sharing, y’know?
(Feel free to reblog this, as well, especially if you want to share your own story! I will gladly read them all~)
So when I was younger, I...immediately latched to the Eeveelution family. At first, I had a great love for Vaporeon, but when I learned that “pokesonas” were a thing, I latched onto Eevee pretty fast. Why not? I didn’t want to evolve yet! Eevee has brown fur like my brown hair (though some people insisted I was a blonde; I was dirty blonde/sandy at best) and plenty of evo options down the line.
...It was unintentional at the time, but I think it mirrors my youth pretty well. I wanted to be a lot of things when I was younger, too. A game designer, an artist, a writer, a mangaka, do voice-overs... There was a lot I wanted to do and plenty of options! The only issue is...where do I even start?
Unknowingly, Eevee echoed that for me. Though it would take me a lot longer to realize that. So in the meantime, I drew lots of Eeveelutions, consumed fanart by the hundreds, played PMD: Blue Version (I was an Eevee, of course; my partner a Pikachu I oh-so cleverly named Ash) and even would watch those YouTube story videos. (Anyone else remember “An Eevee Love Story” or is that just me???)
And before long, X and Y came out, delivering a new type and a new Eeveelution for the family, to boot.
I’d already seen Leafeon and Glaceon come to life in Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum. However, my journey with my pokesona hadn’t quite come to the point where I wanted to evolve... Though I did think about it a lot as the years ticked on. It felt weird, the older I got, to not have an evolved sona, but again, I didn’t know what I wanted. Nobody felt right to me at the time, especially since everything felt to “boxed in” to me. I didn’t want to be the Vaporeon who couldn’t journey too far from the water; plus, I couldn’t stand water in my eyes irl. That wouldn’t work...
Jolteon felt too energetic. Flareon didn’t click with me, even being so fluffy. Espeon felt too...feminine (hmm). Umbreon was often represented as masc to Espeon’s fem, so “not really” again (hmm 2.0). Leafeon was nice, but was that really what I wanted? Glaceon also didn’t click with me, though I did make OCs out of those latter two, based on the ones in my game, who helped me beat the Elite Four in Sinnoh.
Then came X, Y, and Sylveon.
I’d usually never been a fan of pink, but by the time of X & Y, I’d long gotten over it. Finally. Though also by this point, I’d been in a damn whirlwind of chaos. Emotional chaos, specifically. Which led to me finding Crystalline (by Gumi) and to the creation of this Flipnote I use as an example in my “Music Comics” commissions page.
Note how the characters for the title are Umbreon and Sylveon. And if you look at the whole project itself, you’ll note that the Sylveon never appears... This was the product of my mindset of the time and what I mentioned in the tags of that post: friendship or love?
I was torn up at the time. By someone I was heavily reliant on, but did nothing for me in the long run... Largely because our relationship was built on fragile ideas, imagination, and his ghosting; represented by the Ninetails in that work. Having hurt me so much, so deeply, for years brought me to that point. My 19th birthday was coming up and I decided I wanted to evolve.
How to go about it, though...
Despite the fact he returned to me later that year and predictably things were ruined yet again, I made the choice to evolve my pokesona into a Sylveon. Despite the fact I spent my birthday rather upset by what had gone on, I chose to rise the fuck over it.
Because the thing is... It’s not that I don’t value friendship or anything- if you’re my friend, you know I can be a little shit, but a determined af friend to look out for ya- but the thing is, the core of my being has ALWAYS been love. Not just romantic, but for my friends and my family (related by blood or just friends who ascended into my “found family” spot), too. I love. It’s why I see myself as Poly-Pan; I’ve got love to give to those who accept me and who wouldn’t mind making friends with other partners I might have.
Sylveon evolves with love. Their being is made to show this in every aspect, right down to the ribbons; fandom likes to make jokes of “evil Sylvy” but they’re used to hold the arm of their trainer more than anything else. Their connection to their trainer made them evolve...and much akin to a Gardevoir, I imagine they’d do anything for their most important trainer... Just as I’d do anything for my friends.
We love and love. A choice given to us and taken.
So my pokesona is a Sylveon...and it’s the best choice I’ve ever made.
(feat. my mom as a Charizard; her personal favorite PKMN and her starter in FireRed, as well)
#Pokemon#pokesona#pokemon self insert#self insert#self insert community#Aki Does Art#About Aki#I have a lot of emotions abt this...#and just PKMN as a whole really#this series is such a comfort for me#it's helped me express myself so much#and gave me so much#something to do; memories to make; playing with my cousins#or watching the movies with them!!!#everything about it is healing#and I will never be able to say 'thank you' to this series enough
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@behemothbash asked: Hopefully Takumi wasn't doing anything important, because Hop is about to interrupt; he kicks the door open and shouts, "Takumi, Takumi look!" He then lifts his Pincurchin upwards ala The Pyroar King with a huge smile. "Look at Sparky, look at 'er cute li'l bow!" Sparky seems a bit confused, blinking a few times before twitching her nose. "... Kee?" // what a great way to break in your pkmn verse hfsdgh
While he’s startled at first, the sight of Sparky with a bow immediately softens the blow. “That has got to be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Takumi’s always has had a soft spot for that cute little pincurchin (or any pincurchin, really—) and seeing Sparky donned in a bow has him unable to stop himself from grinning. Yes, he shall forgive Hop of the discourtesy of bursting in his room uninvited for the gift of seeing a pincurchin with a ribbon on its little head... And perhaps with an added bonus a ribbon for his own pincurchin. “You got an extra one? Shinji could use one, too!”
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got tagged by @somewhat-human--mostly-bitter!! so sorry for not doin this earlier, i was busy fuckin up in aa2
under the cut bc its kinda late and i’m chatty as always!! these are all really good questions so it took me like 2 days to come up w good answers. oops
- Post the rules (consider it done!!)
- Answer the questions given to you by the tagger
- Write eleven questions of your own
- Tag eleven people
what’s a crappy experience you had that you don’t regret because it made for a funny story?
oh gosh. oh gosh oh gosh i have like 40 stories like that. my personal favorite involves checking the temp of a tray of french fries during a class at a super fancy cooking school (bc my grandma insisted i absolutely must learn how to cook and then signed me up for this thing before i could get a single word in). i took a tray out of the oven, set it down, and then for whatever reason my brain was like golly gee i wonder if this piping hot tray that came straight out of the oven is hot??? so i just put my entire fucking bare hand on the side of it. the pain didn’t register until an instructor asked what the fuck i was doing. someone asked how hot the fries were. all i could say was “hot”
can you write a sad story with just one word?
i’m far from a writer but i’m of the belief that the saddest word in the english language is “hopeless”
maybe one day i’ll be eloquent enough to explain why that is but alas... now is not the time
if your safety was guaranteed, would you punch a jerk?
dude hell fuckin yea!! i can’t guarantee that it’d be a good punch bc i have small ass baby hands but i’d punch someone even if i was endangering myself tbh
how would you survive the hunger games?
i’d hide, probably!! i’m super tiny irl and if i’m good at anything it’s keeping my mouth shut & being quiet. i was never much of a talker until super recently
would you rather spend the rest of your life with a hollywood satanist or a hollywood mafia boss?
am i allowed to choose both? i kinda like both. i just hope neither of em are jerks
do you have local slang that people from other places would find strange?
im not entirely sure if this qualifies as slang but it’s become something of a running joke among friends to see how horribly we can pronounce a word before it becomes incomprehensible (i.e. ‘canada’ becomes ‘kuh-naw-der’)
immortality (cannot die) or invulnerability (cannot be killed)?
this. this is a really good fucking question and my answer is i have absolutely no idea. probably invulnerability? i probably wouldn’t be such a scaredy cat if i couldn’t be killed
i initially wrote up an entire paragraph about why i’d choose immortality (i wanna see the fate of the human race and what’ll come after us, etc etc) but if i can never die then eventually there’s gonna be a point in time where i’m completely and totally alone in the universe and that scares the shit out of me
how many Star Wars movies can you name off the top of your head?
not many... i’ve only watched like 2 star wars movies in my entire life. the only ones i know are the empire strikes back, a new hope, revenge of the sith, the last jedi, and the force awakens (and the last two don’t even really co0unt bc they were released super recently)
your weapon of choice?
if i could use anything regardless of skill level, i’d def use a glaive or a giant halberd bc those are cool as fuck
hogwarts houses are okay, but what’s your ilvermorny house?
the test i just took says i’m a thunderbird!! i had no idea ilvermorny houses were a thing til now but im so super into thunderbirds. my heart yearns for adventure
what’s a motto?
i used to have a personal motto at age 13 and it was something like prepare to be disappointed! or i’m hot garbage! but 2018 is the year of getting my shit together so rn i’m in the mood for something like punch the future in the face
get ready for my dumb ass questions
what’s the last song that made you cry?
if us humans achieve true enlightenment (where all questions about the universe have been answered), what’s next for us to do?
what’s your opinion on bees?
is it better to love people & lose them or to never love at all?
if you had to be an animal crossing villager, what animal would you be? what would your house look like?
have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
when’s the last time you were super excited?
what’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? do you usually get ice cream in a cup or in a cone?
does everything absolutely need to have a meaning, or do some things just exist for the sake of existing?
what’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
is a slug a snail without a shell or is a snail a slug with a shell?
i’ll tag @typhonserpent, @perpetuallyimmobile, @biinks, @go-to-hella-del-rey, @yarnpika, @southerneuropeanboi, @bunaii, @pkmn-lillie, @startinik, @random-minty, and @pkpanta!! yall definitely don’t have to answer all these if you don’t want to! stay rad!!
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PKMN - Validation
Notes: And here, on June 29th, we have this.
It’s Pride Month, as I’m sure many (most? all?) of you know, and as such, though I’ve had this fic in mind for a long, long, long time, I really wanted to get it done this month. In truth, I started working on it way back on June 2nd, and it has taken me this long to finish it. Nonetheless, it is finally finished, and I hope it’s good. The subject matter of this fic is very important to me, and in fact it hits pretty damn close to home, so . . . yeah, I really hope it’s good, heh.
This takes place about seven years post-canon, when Alan is 22. And with that said, here’s . . .
“So anyway,” Manon said, and by this point she was turned sideways in her chair, one arm thrown over the back while her other arm rested on the table beside her empty plate, her back up against the side of the café, “what I was thinking is that I’ll enter this tournament, right, and I’ll pretend to be a complete novice, newbie trainer when I do. And everyone will be like, ‘hey hey, this girl is clueless, she has no idea what she is doing, this will be easy.’ But then I’ll get in there and cream ‘em all and win every match, and maybe even still look kind of clueless as I do so they think it’s just luck. But then in the end, I’ll win the whole thing and take home the prize!”
For a day in mid-summer, the afternoon was pleasantly warm. The sky was a brilliant blue, the sun surrounded by fluffy clouds, the warm wind promising perfect thermals for when Alan and Lizardon went flying later. But that was for later; for the time being Alan was enjoying lunch with Manon at an outdoor café, though he couldn’t help but sigh as she rattled off her plan and he reached for his nearly empty coffee cup.
“Manon, you’re one of Kalos’ Elite Four. You can’t hustle other trainers at a tournament.”
“I’m not hustling them,” Manon said, and Alan gave her a flat look. “That makes it sound dirty.”
“You are, and it is.”
“And anyway,” she added, more loudly to speak over him, “the tournament’s in Alola, at the Battle Tree thing, so no one will even know I’m a member of the Elite Four here.”
“Believe it or not, the Elite Four of the various regions are pretty well known. Your name and title are easily accessible to everyone around the world, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if tournament officials recognized exactly who you are,” Alan said. Manon blinked, as if taken by surprise, yet then flashed a satisfied smile. “Either way, if you start hustling other trainers you’ll make our League look bad. Enter the tournament if you want and take the whole thing, but don’t hustle anyone.”
Manon rolled her eyes. “I already said, I’m not hustling, I’m just pretending like I’m nobody---”
“You’re pretending like you can’t battle to get them to let their guard down before you sweep them. That’s the definition of hustling.”
Manon puffed her cheeks, aggravated, and it was amazing to Alan how she could still pout like a little kid despite being nearly seventeen years old. He supposed some things never changed. “Well, so what? Just because I’m a member of the Elite Four doesn’t mean I can’t have any fun. No one ever said this job wasn’t any fun!”
“This is a job with a lot of responsibility.”
“So? That doesn’t mean it has to be boring!”
“So you have to scam other trainers to have fun?”
“That’s not what I---!”
“Alan?”
Both Alan and Manon turned at the sound of the voice, and though the woman who had spoken and was now approaching the table clearly knew him, it took Alan a moment to place her. She was around his age, with long blonde hair drawn into a braid thrown over her shoulder, and purple eyes that were as bright as the smile on her lips. But what tipped him off wasn’t her eyes or hair, but her earring: encased in a silver pendant dangling from one ear was a rainbow-colored Key Stone, and his eyes widened as he caught sight of it.
“Ayaka?” he ventured, though he couldn’t keep the hesitation from his voice. It had been years since they had seen each other, but he thought---
Her smile grew, and she clasped her eyes behind her back as she walked up to stand beside their table. On the other side, Manon swiveled back around to face front.
“You remembered,” Ayaka said, and she laughed a little. “I can’t help but feel a little pleased about that.”
“Don’t be,” Alan said. “It’s not really saying much to be remembered by me.”
Ayaka chuckled again, and ducked her head for only a moment before she looked back up at him. “And so humble, too, after all this time,” she said. “I’d say that’s pretty impressive, Champion.”
Alan didn’t know what to say to that (he was just being honest, his memory being what it was, and really he preferred it if people addressed him by his name rather than his title), so he shrugged.
Ayaka cleared her throat, and toyed with the end of her braid. “Anyway---I feel like running into you here is a stroke of fate. I’m actually in Lumiose for business, but I should be here for a little while. I was thinking, since the two of us ran into each other here like this, it might be worthwhile---or at the very least we should---catch up.” Her smile grew, her tongue poking between her teeth. “It really has been too long.”
“I . . . suppose,” Alan said, as Manon leaned across the table in apparent interest. He wasn’t sure what they were supposed to be ‘catching up’ on---it wasn’t as if they had ever spent a lot of time together, after all---but perhaps she wanted to have another match between Lizardon and her absol. That could be fun. “Are you free now, or . . . ?”
“Oh---no, I was thinking something a bit more formal. You know. A bit more special.” Ayaka clasped her hands behind her back again, and Alan frowned. There were no current tournaments in Lumiose---he of all people would know---and Ayaka was in town on business. So what sort of formal battle could she want? If she wanted to take the Champion challenge, that would need a League win--- “There are a lot of restaurants in the city. I was thinking that we could pick an evening to check one out . . .”
“Oh.” Alan blinked. “You’re thinking of one of the battle restaurants. Sure, that’s fine---but only the employees battle with the customers there. They don’t allow customers to battle each other. So that won’t work, unless . . . are you working at one of the restaurants now?”
Across the table, Manon smacked her palm to her forehead. Ayaka, on the other hand, stared blankly at Alan for a few seconds before recovering.
“No, no,” she said. “I wasn’t talking about one of the battle restaurants, although I do think it would be fun to have dinner at one of them one night. I was talking about a normal restaurant.”
Alan furrowed his brow. “Why would we go to a normal restaurant? We can’t battle at all there.”
Manon buried her face in her arms as Ayaka, her cheeks starting to color pink, said, “Well, no, but we could eat dinner, and talk . . .” She trailed off, and after a second of awkward silence between them said, “You know, like on a . . . I’m asking you on a---” She took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and then said in a stronger voice, “I thought it might be fun to go on a little date. You know, since I’m in town, and it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other . . .”
“Oh.” It wasn’t so much that a realization had dawned on him as it was that Ayaka had spelled her intentions out, but Alan still felt like a haze of confusion had been swept away to allow for the sun to shine through instead. That was what she wanted---that was what she had wanted all along. Now he understood. And now that he understood, it was much easier for him to give her a direct answer. “I’m not really interested in that. Sorry.”
He partially regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. They were true---he wouldn’t go on a date with her just because she wanted to, when he wasn’t interested at all---but hurt flashed across her face in a stunned look that made it seem like he had doused her with water instead. Manon looked no less shocked; she stared at him, dumbfounded, even as Ayaka closed her own mouth and forced a smile.
“Oh. Well, that’s all right. It’s been a long time, anyway, and you’re probably in a relationship or seeing someone already, so---”
“No, I’m not,” Alan said, and even before Manon covered her face with her hands and Ayaka stopped, mid-sentence, to bite her lip he knew it was the wrong thing to say. In an effort to spare her feelings (in whatever little way he could now), he quickly said, “But I have a lot going on, as the Champion, so---”
“Right,” Ayaka said, and she cleared her throat again. “Of course. Well, I won’t keep you from it. Good luck with . . . whatever it is you’re doing. I hope you have a good day.” She looked over at Manon and smiled politely before she turned and strode away from the table, each stride far too fast to be casual.
The moment she was at least partially out of earshot, Manon exploded.
“What the hell was that?!” she demanded, and she flailed one arm in Ayaka’s direction. “That was---that was---that was a disaster! That was one of the worst disasters I’ve ever had to bear witness to! It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to watch! How could you make me sit through that?!”
“I didn’t make you sit through anything. You could have left,” Alan said.
Manon rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. It’s impossible to look away from a disaster that bad. You want to---it’s so terrible and awful you want to look away, but you can’t, because it’s so gruesome it holds your interest anyway, tighter than an arbok using Wrap.”
“I don’t think that comparison really works.”
“What was that?” Manon repeated, and she placed both hands on the table to lean forward, staring at him with accusing eyes. “How could you say no to that? Did you see her? Did you even look at her at all?!”
“Obviously I did.”
Manon threw her hands in the air, flopping back in her chair. “Then I don’t see how you could say no to that! She’s gorgeous, Alan! She’s hot enough to make the sun jealous! And she totally wanted you! How could you pass that up?!”
It wasn’t too unusual for Manon to get worked up over something trivial. In fact, Alan would say it happened regularly, given her penchant for overblown drama and shenanigans. But while he normally brushed her antics off (or, in some cases, found them amusing), he was struck by the sudden feeling that he was really not in the mood today. “I’m just not interested.”
“How? Why?” Manon pressed. “Is she somehow not your type or something?”
Alan shrugged. “Guess not.”
Manon was quiet for a moment, as if at a loss for words. Then she said, “Well, if she’s somehow not your type, then what is? Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you date anyone.” She narrowed her eyes shrewdly and leaned across the table again, her elbows on the surface, her chin on her laced fingers. “What’s all that about, huh? What kind of person are you into?”
Alan leaned back in his chair, and looked up at the sky. “I don’t know. I never thought about it.”
“What do you mean you never thought about it?” Manon demanded, aghast. “You’re like, old---”
“Thanks.”
“---so you had to have liked someone, at some point, even if you didn’t date them, right? There had to be someone at some time, right?” Manon pulled her PokéNav Plus4 from her pocket, no doubt jumping straight to social media, if Alan knew her (and he did). “Even you had to have a crush on someone at some point. Everyone does.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Alan said. As Manon scrolled through her PokéNav Plus4, an uncomfortable, fluttery sensation of anxiety flared to life in his stomach. “I just never did.”
“Come on---not even Steven?” She thrust her arm across the table to shove her PokéNav Plus4 in his face, showing him Steven’s FateBook profile. It was his private profile---the one only people he actually knew were allowed to Friend him on, versus the public one he used for everyone else---and as such, his profile picture was one Alan was pretty sure his many adoring fans would have killed for. “Lots of people like him, and I guess he is pretty pretty for a guy---” She paused, and then snorted a laugh. “Heheh. Pretty pretty.”
Alan shook his head. “No, I never liked Steven like that. We’re just friends.”
Manon puffed her cheeks, staring at him in disbelief as she pulled her PokéNav Plus back to her side of the table, and then said, “Well, what about that one guy who was so obsessed with you---Louie?”
“Who?”
“If that’s your answer, never mind,” Manon said. “So---how about Cosette? You’ve known her for a long time, right? So maybe at some point you guys had, like, a thing---”
“Cosette and Sophie are like extended family, or close family friends,” Alan said, as Manon heaved an exaggerated sigh. “I never liked her like that, either.”
“Then who?” Manon demanded. “Serena? Iris? Gladion? If I ever manage to get a date with Lillie that last one could be fun, ‘cause we could double, although knowing him he’d pitch a fit if we brought it---”
“No,” Alan said flatly. “I’m not interested in teenagers.”
“Then who are you interested in?!” Manon demanded, smacking her hands against the table.
“No one!”
Alan had snapped more loudly than he had intended to, and the result was that the people milling about the street had now turned to look at them. He gritted his teeth and glared down at the table, and after a moment forced himself to bite out, “Just drop it, okay?”
Alan could hear the frown in Manon’s voice as she said, “Hey hey, there’s no need to get mad, I just don’t get it. Everyone has a type, so there has to be someone who’s yours. I mean, this world is filled with lots and lots of people! Look around, there’s people everywhere! All kinds of people right here in Lumiose, even, so there has to be someone you find attractive. Even if it’s, like, an old person. I wouldn’t shame you for that, ‘cause that’s more normal than---”
“I said drop it.” Alan pushed his chair back and stood up before he reached across the table to swipe up Manon’s empty plate, stacking it on top of his own. He tossed their spoons into his empty coffee cup, and put that on top of the plates as Manon nudged her glass across the table. He rolled his eyes as he scooped it up and balanced it on the plates next to his own mug.
“Sheesh, you don’t have to be so touchy. I was just joking, anyway. I don’t think you’re really into old people,” Manon said, as she bounced up from her own seat to follow him back inside the café. As they entered, one of the baristas behind the counter caught his eye, and smiled when he held up their dishes. She pointed at the end of the counter, and he wove through the patrons milling about so he could stack their plates and cups in the dirty dish tray where the barista had indicated. “But if you were, that’d be totally cool! I mean, like I said, everyone’s gotta love someone, and if old people are your thing---”
“Did you finish your assessment of the Coumarine and Laverre Gym Leaders?” Alan asked, turning back to face her after their dishes were safely in the tray.
Manon’s mouth snapped shut, and chewed the inside of her cheek. After a few seconds (of calculated thought, Alan was sure), she said, “Didn’t Ayaka say she was here on business?”
“I’m going to take that deflection as a ‘no,’” Alan said, crossing his arms.
“Like you’re one to talk about deflections, bringing work up out of nowhere,” Manon shot back. “But anyway, listen---Ayaka said she’s here on business, so she’ll be here for a little bit, but not forever, right? I should take advantage of that.”
Alan narrowed his eyes. “Take advantage how?”
Manon scoffed, but a little smirk was curling on her lips. “Listen, just because you don’t want fries with that shake doesn’t mean I don’t. I’m gonna find her and woo her, and then---”
“No, you’re not.” Alan put his hands on Manon’s shoulders to gently nudge her toward the door, and she took the hint, even as she shot a scowl at him over her shoulder. “You’re a teenager, and she’s an adult.”
“So?”
“So that’s a felony.”
“Only if we get caught!”
“Manon.”
Manon tossed her hands in the air as they exited the café, and spun on the ball of her foot to face him, an accusatory glare on her face. “Why do you have to be so cold about everything? First hustling at the Battle Tree, and now---”
“So you admit you wanted to hustle?”
Manon’s eyes widened, but then she puffed her cheeks as she looked away, slowly backing away from him. “No,” she said, “but actually, about that, I just remembered that I need to go see when the next flight to Alola is . . .”
“Manon,” Alan said, but she ignored him as she continued backing away.
“And if I’m gonna woo Ayaka before I go, then I really should get going now, so if you’ll excuse me---”
“Manon---”
“I’ll have Clemont e-mail my Gym Leader assessments to you later! Bye, Alan!” Manon spun on the ball of her foot again and took off down the street, weaving between the pedestrians in an effort to lose what he was sure she thought was his pursuit.
Instead of chasing after, however, Alan let her go. He had enough faith in Ayaka’s integrity to feel that she wouldn’t respond to and take advantage of a teenager’s romantic advances (not that he knew her that well, admittedly, but he wanted to believe she was a good enough person to not respond, anyway), and he had a feeling that however hard she might try, Manon’s efforts at hustling at the Battle Tree wouldn’t get her very far. As clever and resourceful as she could be at times, Manon was a terrible liar. His advantage at having known her for years aside, Manon was the type to be honest before she realized what she was saying, her mouth running away from her even when (perhaps especially when) she was trying to keep a lid on it. However much she might play up the newbie card, Alan had a feeling that her natural tendency to showboat would blow her cover within the first round or two. It was only a matter of time.
So with Manon safe from everyone and everything but her own pride (and the looming deadline of her Gym Leader assessments), that left Alan with the rest of his day. Initially, he had planned on returning to his office at the League to tend to his own work. He was mostly caught up, but there were rumors that Parliament was going to once again try to push through legislature that would strip government subsidies away from Pokémon Centers under the argument that Pokémon Centers only benefited trainers at the cost of undue taxes from non-trainers. Where there was smoke there was fire, and Alan intended to snuff out this particular fire before it had a chance to grow in ferocity. Too many people, human and pokémon alike, would be hurt if Pokémon Centers had to start charging trainers fees for their services (or worse, had to shut down altogether due to a lack of funding). Alan refused to let that happen.
But while it was important to jump on the legislation that would be necessary to block such a bill from passing, the will Alan had felt earlier in the day to take care of it was all but extinguished. The stress from earlier still hadn’t left; though the conversation was over now, and Manon was traipsing around the city on a (likely fruitless) search for Ayaka, the feeling of anxiety swarming in his stomach had only grown in intensity. It wasn’t a---it was fine, really, that he hadn’t ever wanted to date anyone, wasn’t it? He wasn’t lying when he told Ayaka that he was busy. He had a lot of work on his plate, both with Champion duties and his research. And even if he wasn’t busy, it wasn’t really that big of a deal that he wasn’t interested in dating anyone, was it? It didn’t matter that he didn’t have any personal experience with having a crush, that the idea of having sex with someone---anyone---made him feel a little squeamish, because while it was a perfectly normal thing that other people did, so was eating corned beef, and he didn’t like that, either. It was---well, maybe it wasn’t normal, but it---that didn’t mean it was bad, did it? It didn’t mean he was . . . it didn’t make him . . .
Alan shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat as he started down the street, in the opposite direction from where Manon had run off to.
- - -
“Okay, now if we just---hey, none of that, please!”
At the sound of Augustine’s scolding, the litten who had been holding a mud-covered paw above a fennekin’s head froze. The fennekin, who had up until that point been completely unsuspecting of the litten’s prank, sat up straight, ears twitching. This worked against him; his head bumped straight into the litten’s paw, and---immediately feeling the mud now stuck in the fur atop his head---the fennekin leaped and bounded away from the litten, bristling angrily. The litten, for her part, started laughing, and smeared her paw against the grass to wipe the remainder of the mud from it.
“That wasn’t very nice,” Augustine said sternly. The litten turned her lamp-like eyes to him, unabashed. “You should apologize. You’re living here with all of us now; you should do your best to get along.”
The litten watched him for another second before she yawned, and curled up on the grass. The fennekin, taking this as a personal insult, inhaled deeply, cinders building in his throat. Augustine quickly scooped him up before he could attack.
“Now, now---there’s no need for that, either,” he said. The fennekin pouted. “Why don’t you go see Gabrielle, hm? She’ll help you get nice and clean. I’ll have another talk with our new litten friend to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
The fennekin looked no less displeased, but nodded nonetheless, and Augustine set him back down on the grass. After casting another dirty look at the litten (who didn’t bother to acknowledge him), the fennekin bounded across the lawn back to the lab, no doubt in search of Gabrielle. As the fennekin scampered off, Augustine looked back at the litten.
“You really are a handful, aren’t you?” he mused. The litten ignored him, and he sighed. “What are we going to do with you?”
“Is that litten is still being a troublemaker?”
The voice that answered his question with another was unexpected, but delightful, and Augustine was beaming even before he turned and faced his visitor.
“Alan!” Augustine held out his arms as Alan neared, and Alan returned his smile in the same beat as he accepted the hug. Augustine’s own smile didn’t fade even when Alan pulled back. “I thought you were heading back to the League this afternoon to get caught up on your paperwork there.”
“I was---I am,” Alan said, and he slipped his hands back into the pockets of his coat. Augustine would be lying if he said he wasn’t still chuffed that Alan had picked one that, while suitable for traveling, resembled a lab coat so much. “But I thought I’d stop by to spend a bit of time here first. Is that all right?”
“Of course. I’m always happy to see you,” Augustine said. Another little smile flitted across Alan’s face, but it was brief, and something about it pinged the back of Augustine’s mind. A sixth sense of sorts, he supposed. “But is something on your mind?”
“What? No.” Alan’s answer was a little too immediate to feel natural, and little too odd, besides. There was always something on Alan’s mind, in Augustine’s experience. Not always something bad, no, but Alan was the type to always be thinking about something, whether it was work or recreation. To say “no” that quickly and that firmly . . . well, that was as good of a “yes” in Augustine’s book, and not the happy kind. But Alan looked past him, back down at the litten that was now staring up at him while rhythmically licking her front paw. “That litten is still having difficulties getting acclimated here, huh?”
“Hm? Oh, yes,” Augustine said. Alan took a few steps closer to the litten before he sat down on the grass, and reached out one hand toward her. The litten had not removed her eyes from him, but as he extended his hand toward her, she pulled away from his touch, eying him shrewdly. Augustine shook his head and said to her, “Alan won’t hurt you. It’s all right to let him pet you.”
The litten glanced at him, and then back at Alan. Alan extended his hand a little farther, and that seemed to be the breaking point. The litten scoffed, short and irritated, before she pushed herself to her feet and bounded off toward the trees.
“Sorry about that,” Augustine said, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s a very stubborn one. She won’t even let me pet her half the time.”
“It’s all right,” Alan said, and true to form he didn’t sound offended. Augustine would have been surprised if he had. “I’ve never exactly been the best with cats. I don’t have as much experience with them as I do with others, such as---”
“Garar!”
“---dragons.” Alan tilted his head back to look up at Gabrielle, who had bounded across the yard and landed behind him with a heavy thud in time with her shout. She placed her claws over his shoulders (securely enough to clearly be a hug from behind, yet gently enough so that she wouldn’t hurt him), and Alan smiled up at her just as she beamed down at him. Warmth blossomed in Augustine’s chest at the sight. “Hi, Gabby.”
“Ga, Garar,” Gabrielle said in response. Alan’s smile grew, and he patted one of her claws.
“I don’t know about that,” Augustine said, and when both Gabrielle and Alan looked back over at him, he clarified, “I think you’ve always had an excellent rapport with pokémon of all species, including cats. It all depends on the individual, and this particular litten is just something of a handful.”
“True,” Alan said, and he leaned forward, out of Gabrielle’s sharp embrace, as he stood up. “Anyway, what else have you got to do around here today? I’ve got some time, so I’d love to help if you could use it.”
“Certainly,” Augustine said, and Alan smiled. “I was just trying to help the fire-types practice before they’re adopted by new trainers, although that litten pranking the fennekin put an early stop to that. Speaking of which---Gabrielle, did you help that fennekin get cleaned up?” Gabrielle nodded, and Augustine grinned. “Marvelous! I knew I could count on you. Thank you.”
Gabrielle beamed, clearly (and deservedly) pleased with herself, and Augustine looked back to Alan. “Since the fire-types are taking a break for now, I figured I would check on the water-types next. The froakie and popplio still need to train so that they can better control their attacks when new trainers adopt them, and in addition to that I’m collecting data on a new diet I have the water-types on. Would you mind helping with that?”
“Of course not,” Alan said. He pulled Lizardon’s pokéball from his pocket, and released him with two clicks of the button. Lizardon materialized beside him in a flash of light, and despite how often Augustine saw him, he still couldn’t help but feel a little taken aback every time he saw how Lizardon now towered over the rest of them.
Alan, of course, was unfazed. He turned to Lizardon with a little smile, and though Lizardon was briefly distracted as he beamed at and greeted Gabrielle and Augustine both, he turned back toward Alan readily enough when Alan patted his neck.
“Hey, I have some work to do here. Mind spending some time with Gabby and the others while I do it?”
Lizardon crooned, and happily bent down to bump his head against Alan’s palm. Alan’s smile grew, and he scratched Lizardon gently along his jaw before Lizardon turned back. Without wasting another beat Lizardon turned to Gabrielle, and the two of them began happily chatting in their own language.
With a faint smile still on his lips, Alan motioned to Augustine, and turned in the direction of the pond. ���Come on. Let’s go get started.”
Augustine smiled, and let Alan lead the way across the yard.
Alan, as per usual, was a fantastic help. He helped the froakie and popplio practice as Augustine took down data on the water-types’ reactions to their new diet, and likewise he guided the chespin and rowlet when it was time to check on the grass-types. When they had finished tending to the pokémon in the garden (and had taken a moment to watch Lizardon and Gabrielle as the two engaged in a playful game of close-quarters tag), they retired to the research room to go over the most recent data the two of them had compiled on both Z and mega evolution energy.
Augustine’s focus (and Alan’s as well) was still on mega evolution, truth be told. Despite how many years he had spent studying it, he wasn’t sure that he would ever lose interest in it. But over the past five years or so he had become increasingly aware of a new phenomenon known as Z-moves, generated by Z-energy that radiated between people and pokémon when special crystals were utilized in battle. While the differences between mega evolution and Z-moves were striking, so were the similarities. There was a potential link there, and that was one that neither Augustine nor Alan could ignore. So while their research was still primarily focused on mega evolution, they had also taken to studying potential links between mega evolution and Z-moves, as well as comparing and contrasting the energy needed to perform and generated by both acts. (Although Augustine usually tried to take care of anything pertaining strictly to mega evolution energy on his own. He believed Alan when Alan said that he could handle it---he knew full well how strong Alan was---but . . . well. There was no need to dredge up potentially painful memories if it could be avoided.)
While it had only been a few days since the last time they had sent each other anything pertaining to their research (neither of them having talked much about it when they had breakfast that morning), they still (and Augustine couldn’t help but laugh a little) both had things to share. Augustine passed off a new packet of information for Alan to peruse, while Alan pulled up some e-mails he had been exchanging with Professor Burnet’s assistant, Lillie, in Alola about recent surges of Z-energy in the archipelago.
“But do me a favor and don’t tell Manon that Lillie and I have been talking,” Alan said dryly, as he typed his e-mail password into a web browser on the primary workstation. “She’ll never stop complaining that I didn’t wingman for her if you do.”
Augustine laughed, and promised that he wouldn’t.
The silence that fell between them as they both looked over their respective materials was both normal and comfortable, and was punctuated only by Augustine occasionally typing something into the notes document he had pulled up next to the e-mail window, or the sound of Alan clicking a pen as he read over the packet Augustine had given him. But while that was normal, there was something about it that still, however inexplicably, felt a little . . . off. Just as it had out in the garden, there was something pinging the back of Augustine’s brain. After only a few minutes of work the nagging sensation that something was off became too persistent for him to ignore, and so he chanced a look over at Alan. Alan was leaning back in his chair, his legs fully stretched out before him, the packet in one hand while he fidgeted with and clicked the pen in his other. At first glance, he looked completely engrossed in the packet. But the closer Augustine looked, the more he saw that although Alan’s brow was knitted together, he didn’t really look like he was concentrating, but rather like he was . . . upset. And for all that he seemed to be reading, it didn’t look as if his eyes were moving along the words on the page at all.
Augustine watched him for a moment more, frowning, before he asked, “Are you sure everything’s all right?”
“What?” Alan froze, mid-pen click, as he looked up at Augustine. It took only a few seconds of patient silence from Augustine for Alan to recover, and he followed through on his pen click. “No. I mean---yes. Everything’s fine.”
“All right,” Augustine said, but he didn’t need to see the way that Alan’s lips twitched into frown, his expression somehow even more troubled than before as he looked back down at the packet he was trying and failing to read, to know that ‘everything’s fine’ was a lie. “But if there is anything you want to talk about, just let me know. I’m happy to help in whatever way I can.”
“Yeah,” Alan said, clicking the pen again. He didn’t take his eyes off the page. “Thanks.”
Augustine nodded, and looked back at his computer screen.
There was no use in trying to force answers out of Alan. Or at least---it wasn’t impossible to pull answers out of Alan, to prod him into talking if need-be. Augustine did have some experience in that department. But unless it was an emergency, he didn’t like to. Pushing and poking at Alan to get him to talk always made him more upset before it helped, and that was a price that was only worth paying if the situation was dire, which this was not. At times like these, Augustine felt it best to give Alan the space he needed to sort through his thoughts. If and when he wanted to talk, he would. Augustine was sure of that. Until then, now that Alan was sure the offer was on the table should he need it, it was best to let him be.
So with that determined, Augustine returned to his work, at least as best he could. He scrolled down a little farther in the e-mail he had been reading, going over the paragraph Lillie had typed up recounting a recent battle one of the Melemele Village elders, Hala, had with Tapu Koko. But just as he finished reading the same sentence for the second time in a row to try and get the words to stick in his brain, Alan said, “I think that---do you think there’s . . . something wrong with me?”
Augustine blinked, and then looked back over at Alan with a frown. Alan hadn’t looked up; he was still staring at the page in front of him, even though it was clear he wasn’t reading it.
“No, of course I don’t,” Augustine said. “But I’m guessing there’s a specific reason why you’re asking that. Care to share?”
Alan was quiet for a moment, save for the continued rhythmic clicking of his pen. Then he said, “Do you remember Ayaka? She’s a trainer who uses mega evolution with her absol, and she participated in the League a few years ago.”
“Sure.”
“She approached me while Manon and I were having lunch, and . . . she asked me on a date.”
From there, the rest of the story spilled out. Alan explained how confused and lost he had felt for the majority of the conversation---how he had misunderstood what she meant when she said she wanted to catch up with him, and how he hadn’t realized what it was she actually wanted until she spelled it out. He explained how outraged Manon had been, and then how persistent she had been in trying to figure out what type of person he was attracted to---how she had been so sure that he had to have been attracted to someone, going so far as to suggest everyone from minors to the elderly.
“. . . but I’m not. I’ve never liked anyone like that. Not a single person.” Alan clicked his pen, twirled it between his fingers, and then resumed clicking it. By this point he had abandoned the research packet and had tossed it onto the desk, and was staring off at the opposite side of the room instead. “I’ve never wanted to date anyone. I’ve never wanted to have that kind of a relationship with anyone. Even now, thinking about it makes me feel . . .”
“Uncomfortable?” Augustine ventured.
Alan looked down at the floor, his jaw locked, before he said quietly, “This isn’t normal. I know it’s not. Everyone is attracted to someone, but I’m not. And I don’t know why this is. I don’t know why I’m like this. I don’t know why I can’t love anyone. I don’t know if maybe I was born like this, or maybe that part of me broke as a result of everything that---”
“No, stop,” Augustine said, and at long last, Alan looked back over at him. “That’s not true at all. You’re plenty capable of love.”
Alan frowned. “No, I’m---didn’t you hear what I said? I’m not---”
“I heard you say that you’re not attracted to people, but that doesn’t mean you’re incapable of love,” Augustine said. “You love Lizardon, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Alan said, and his answer was so immediate that Augustine couldn’t help but smile. “But that’s---”
“And you love me, and Gabrielle,” Augustine said.
“Yes,” Alan said again, a touch of exasperation in his voice. “But---”
“And Meyer, Clemont, Bonnie, and Manon,” Augustine continued. “You love them as well, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, but---”
“And I’m sure you love your other friends, too. Ash, Steven, Sophie, Cosette, Gladion and Lillie . . .”
“Yes, but---!”
“Then, you see?” Augustine smiled. “You love plenty of people and pokémon---so many that I can’t even name them all. You’re plenty capable of love, Alan. You’re one of the warmest people I know.”
Alan looked as if he didn’t know what to say. He turned his eyes back to the floor, the smallest of pleased smiles twitching at his lips before he pressed them together. After a moment he said quietly, “Thanks.”
Augustine smiled in turn. “I’m only speaking the truth.”
Alan started clicking his pen again, just as steadily and determined as before, and after another few seconds said, “But as much as I appreciate you saying that, it’s not what I was talking about.”
“I know,” Augustine said, and when Alan glanced at him from the corner of his eye, he continued. “You were talking about romantic love, and sexual attraction. But those two things aren’t the end-all, be-all of love. Romantic love is not the only love that exists, nor is it even the most important. And simply because you don’t feel romantic attraction or love for others doesn’t mean you can’t love them in other ways. In fact, you prove that you can, just by being yourself.”
“Okay,” Alan said. “But this still---I’m still not . . .” He gave the pen another few forceful clicks. “Knowing that still doesn’t solve the problem.”
“What problem?”
“I’m still not---I still can’t---” Alan took a breath, and exhaled it sharply. “I’ve still never felt that way about anyone. I’ve still never been attracted to anyone. And I don’t know if I can. I don’t know that I know how.”
“Well, it isn’t something that you really know, per se,” Augustine said. “Romantic and sexual attraction aren’t things you can learn. They’re simply things you experience, if you’re the type of person who experiences them.”
“And I’m not,” Alan said, and he huffed an unhappy laugh. “Once again, there’s something wrong with me.”
“No,” Augustine said firmly. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There never has been.”
“How can you say that?” Alan asked. “I’m---”
“I can say that because I’ve known you for the past seventeen years,” Augustine said. “I can say that because I raised you, and I can say that because despite whatever biases I may have in your favor, I still have a more objective perspective on you than you do, particularly when you’re upset.” Alan looked away, clicking his pen again, and Augustine said more gently, “If I thought there was something wrong with you, then I promise I would say so, because I would want to help you get better. But there is nothing wrong with you. You are not sick, and you are not broken. You are perfectly normal and well.”
Alan didn’t look at him. He continued to fidget with his pen, and chewed his tongue as he stared determinedly at the opposite wall. After a moment of watching him, Augustine turned back to the computer and opened a new tab in the web browser.
“Alan,” he said, “please come over here for a second. I have something I want you to look at.”
Alan hesitated for only a second before he rolled his chair over to the workstation, and in the time it took him to do that, Augustine pulled up the website for a reputable Kalosean LGBTQA center---and in particular, their page detailing aromanticism and asexuality. He scooted his own chair to the side so that Alan could have a more comfortable view of the screen, and then gestured to it.
“Please read that,” he said, “and tell me if it sounds familiar.”
Alan glanced at him only briefly before he did as requested. Unlike before, when he had tried to force himself to focus on the packet, his eyes skimmed along the lines on the website. And while he had started off frowning at it, his expression just as unhappy and skeptical as it had been before, the longer he read, the more his expression relaxed. There was still a pinch of confusion between his eyes, but it was tempered by a light of realization that Augustine recognized. By the time Alan finished reading and sat back, a look of stunned disbelief on his face as he still stared at the page, Augustine was smiling.
“Well?” Augustine prompted. “Does that sound familiar?”
“. . . Yes,” Alan said after a moment, and he looked back over at Augustine at last. “There are other people like this?”
“Like you,” Augustine corrected mildly. “And yes, there are. Plenty of them, in fact.”
Alan looked back at the computer screen, and scrolled back up the page. “And it isn’t . . . caused by anything? I’m not like this because of anything---or everything---that happened?”
“Is being sexually or romantically attracted to others caused by anything?” Augustine asked. “Do people who experience attraction to others experience it because of something that happened to them in their lives?”
“. . . No. But---”
“Then why would aromanticism or asexuality be caused by anything, hm?” Augustine put his hand on Alan’s shoulder. “Alan, listen to me. There are plenty of asexual people in the world, and there are plenty of aromantic people in the world, too. And among all of those people, there are some who are both aromantic and asexual. It’s who they are---it��s how they were born. And those people are just as normal, and just as valid, as anyone who experiences any form of romantic or sexual attraction to others. If you are aromantic and asexual---and it sounds as though you are---then the same applies to you. You are normal. You are valid. And you are perfect just the way you are.”
Alan swallowed, and was quiet for a long moment. Finally, he looked back at Augustine, and asked quietly, “Really?”
Augustine wasn’t sure which part in specific Alan was referring to, but then, he supposed it didn’t really matter. “Absolutely.”
Alan looked away again, back down at the pen in his hands, and he slowly twirled it between his fingers. Augustine watched him for a moment, letting him have some time to his own thoughts, before he asked, “Do you feel a bit better?”
A small, but sincere and warm, smile unfurled on Alan’s lips. He nodded, and his smile grew as he looked back at Augustine, who could not help but smile in response.
“Yeah,” Alan said. “Thanks, Dad.”
#trainer alan#trainer alain#trainer manon#professor sycamore#augustine sycamore#pokemon#pokeani#ayaka#champion alan#gabrielle#lizardon#compulsory babysitting#(i mean - alan and manon were bickering for the vast majority of this but i still think it counts)#lab family#(this definitely does)#fic fix#~technically~ alan and manon are six years apart *at this specific point in time* (going by numerical age) since she is 16 and he is 22#*however* her birthday is in a few weeks and she'll be 17 on that birthday#which will make the gap five years again#(especially since he only recently turned 22 at the time this fic takes place)#so if that seems off don't worry - i thought of it#i have it all under control#everything is as it should be#i feel like there was more i was going to say but i can't think of it now so - here's this#have this#more will be added later if i think of it#(also sorry that the title is unfortunate once again i'm the worst at titles istg)
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Tagged!
Rules: complete and tag 5 people
Tagged by @hideyoshiete thank you so much this was fun!!
5 things you can find in my schoolbag:
- laptop
- water bottle
- pen
- wallet
- snacks
5 things you can find in my bedroom:
- pokemon plushies
- souvenirs from where I’ve been
- anime merch
- trophies from when I was younger
- useless junk I don’t want to throw out because I hoard everything
5 things I have always wanted to do:
- have a pet (I begged when I was little and never got one and so I gave up but now I’m like no I wanna move out and get a cat or dog)
- go to Pokemon Centre in Japan
- live in the city (shhhhhh I know that’s unrealistic since absolutely no-one can afford it but let me dream)
- look in-depth at myth (hehehe guess who finally got to do that at uni this semester)
- learn another language (I remember being a kid and wanting to learn Italian and Japanese and let me tell you when younger me found out those were the 2 languages her high school offered but she had to choose between them in Year 8 she was not happy.)
5 things that make me happy:
- my friends
- pokemon
- yummy food
- anime merch
- music
5 things i am currently into:
- TG
- BNHA
- PKMN
- YOI
- HQ!! (yes all my answers here are pretty much anime/manga related fite me)
5 things on my to-do list:
- broaden my film knowledge/horizons for my film studies class by watching a lot I haven’t seen before (first up is Requiem for a Dream, The Godfather, The Shining and Alfred Hitchcock films) because expanding it is a must if I wanna pick this up as a major
- get in job application for that place I really like that’s now hiring
- Catch up on the BNHA anime now that I’ve read the manga
- plan how I’m getting to and from Smash anime convention tomorrow
- start reading Pandora Hearts
Tagging: @gallopingandgalavanting @wolf-fitz @jimblenojams @charliedaydreamer @reavenagreste
#as usual not necessary to do if you don't want to#unless you're mark or maddy in which case you have to#tagged#long post
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This time I’ll be slowly integrating back on tumblr again, because of better internet! No videos would play and lots of images wouldn’t load while searching before.
Anime I’ve been watching:
Zombieland Saga/Bloom Into You/Radiant/Goblin Slayer/Yugioh Abridged
Anime I’ve recently completed:
Good Stuff: Ancient Magus Bride/In This Corner of the World/Citrus
Okay Stuff: Pop Team Epic/Bokurano/Miss Hokusai
Crap Stuff: Mars of Destruction/Happy Sugar Life/Netsuzou TRap
Games I’ve been playing:
Yugioh gba games/Chrono Cross/PKMN Ultra Moon/FF 4 Heroes of Light/Harvest Moon GBA
Other things I’ve seen:
The Grinch 2018
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Law and Order: SVU
Riverdale
Power Rangers 2017
Grandma (w/ Lily Tomlin)
9 to 5
Thelma and Louise
Fluke
Labyrinth (w/ David Bowie)
Kissing Jessica Stein
Kill Bill 1+2
So hopefully I can come on every few days or something like that! I miss seeing fanart and awesome posts from people on here!
#trueblue thoughts#really into Zombieland Saga so blacklist now while you still can!#and trashy Goblin Slayer because Guild Girl is best girl
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raijindork replied to your post: 24
Wait why did you delete them?
Short answer: The Fandom.
Long answer: The fandom has a nasty habit of taking enjoyable things and ruining them. I’m going to say that I didn’t receive (too many) nasty reviews or anything like that, so it’s not a case of direct hazing. The worst review I got was someone bitching at me for something I didn’t even do LMAO.
I took them down because... it was just... tiring and unenjoyable to post up my writing on ffn. And tumblr has (horribly enough because this should NOT be the case this is a terrible platform for fanfics!!!) always been my best response, so I wanted to shift all my energy over.
It was too disheartening to have the following things happen:
have 10k+ views and 48 reviews on a 75k fic
have people admit to you in chat they read your 40-75k fic but never left a review, especially ones who were also writers
get 50 views and 5 super insightful and thoughtful reviews on a rarepair ship (these fandoms are rather tiny but generous) but nothing on your 500 view fics with a more popular pairing
I know people say things like ‘but this is all fandoms’ yet my other account has naruto/bleach/pkmn/etc. and I often get notifications for those fics even now. I’ve gotten passionate reviews on kenshin fics I wrote 15 years ago. My Hetalia fics still get tons of favs/follows even though they’ve been complete for 7 years. Hell, I just got a notification on a Petshop of Horror fic, which is the tiniest and most obsolete fandom ever? Yet someone took the time to go through the archive and like my work. I guess I just feel more connected to my work and more proud of sharing it with those series?
I’ve never felt the need to distance myself from anything I’ve written nor take it away from the fandom before Fairy Tail (although I know plenty of authors who have done that in FT and Hetalia both). I feel sorry for anyone who has started their fanfic writing career in this fandom actually. This is not what attracted me to writing fanfiction in the first place; there’s no community in it. I might as well write (and daydream) by myself or in chat with friends.
When you see those posts bitching about how lack of feedback is killing fandoms; they’re right. Fans seem to assume that creators are infinite but they’re not. And you burn enough of them, they’ll either quit or move to other fandoms leaving you with the same Big Names you’ve always had (MAYBE - I’ve seen Big Names quit too) and the same old stuff without any diversity (and some people want/like this, good for them, sucks for everyone else though).
#raijindork#dude i've watched so many rarepair and minorship fandoms die#over the past year#it's really sad
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