#BUT SHE NEVER TALKS AUGH

[aventurinedickandballs]

HFNFNF FNF FD BSAK

Own ça i ex ça iJAJMAKSS SA M WE’D J ÇA SK BED N WE K G NEOD

Oansodh ça kaOWFHAINEOWNSKAMQMSM BANGS HEAD ON TABLE REPEATEDLY

#IMM IM TIMHINKUNG ABOJT ASKING OUT THE FIRL I LIKE FOR LJKE HHH #BALENTINES DAY OR WHAGEVER #BUT UHM🥺🥺😘💪 #SHE BARELY KNOWS I EXIST #WE JUST PASS IN THE HALL EVERYDAY… #WE HAVE BUMPED IMTO EACH OTHER A FEW TIMES BY ACCODENT #SOMETIMES J GALK TO HER LIKE ??? TEACHER THAT HELPS WITH TRANSLATION #WHILE SHSS THERE #BUT SHE NEVER TALKS AUGH #AND I FEEL LJME A CREEP… A WEIRDO IF TOU WILL…

[genderqueerpond]

We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.

And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.

"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.

A child.

Now that's too big, surely.

But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.

And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.

In normal circumstances.

Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.

No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.

And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.

But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.

"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"

#like!!!!!! why arent we talking about this!!!!!!! #amelia pond #amy pond #the ultimate autism metaphor on top of being autistic anyway #doctor who #dw #ndw #dw theory #lavender thoughts #SHE CAN'T EXIST SHE IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE #you called clara the impossible girl but that's amy #and THEN the fact that even after it's all set right #she remains shaped by -- remains deeply traumatized by -- a timeline that never happened; a reality that never was #AUGH !!!!! #some wounds just can't heal even if the thing that caused them never existed in the first place #some wounds remain as a TRACE of the other time just as you yourself were once #THE mental illness rep of all time #and in the big bang of course the doctor had to take the shortcut because if they'd all gone the long way round #she'd have been gone before he got there #as starless universe's little amelia disappeared.... it could be millienia but from another perspective it HAD to be moments #they made it only in the nick of time #and the doctor knew that #pond #the life and times of amy pond

[anna-scribbles]

Thirteen gutted me. You’re such an amazing writer. Your Emilie is one of the best I’ve read. It’s difficult to reconcile the woman who allowed or even promoted Adrien’s isolation and the perfect, loving mother that Adrien remembers. You reconcile that so amazingly that I’m a bit ashamed of ever having trouble reconciling it in the first place. Of course she is this way. It falls so naturally even though it must have taken great care and thought for you to form these conclusions about her. You really bring out the horror in Adrien’s childhood- not just from an onlookers perspective- but by focusing on the subjective experience of someone treated as a doll and not knowing any better but to be satisfied with it. You write better than many published authors I’ve read. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your story. I write too and every once in a while I come across a fic writer who really makes me feel this humbling sting of awe and envy. You’re definitely one of those people ❤️ Keep doing what you’re doing. You have a gift.

PS: now that you watched/read Ouran, are you considering writing any Tamaki centered stories? No pressure but he is my pre-Adrien blorbo so I would love to read your prose on him!

this ask is so so special to me i've just been like. keeping it safe in my heart and my inbox 😂 thank you so so so much, I don't even have the words!! i've (shockingly) spent a lot of time over the last several months trying to reconcile everything emilie must have been (which is hard!! it's so hard i spent a long time before i landed somewhere I liked) and it means so much that the way i've written her in thirteen rings true to you!! and AUGH "focusing on the subjective experience of someone treated as a doll and not knowing any better but to be satisfied with it" YES YES that's exactly it!!! yes!! so much of writing young adrien to me is about him genuinely not knowing that this isn't normal, that he deserves better, that it's okay for him to want better. I can tell just from this ask that you are a wonderful writer and I have to urge you to keep doing what you're doing too!! and thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement, it honestly means the world. <33

(ps I don't plan on writing any tamaki centered stories but SHAMELESS PLUG my dearest friend @marimbles has and I cant recommend it enough. honestly.)

#the mar plug is so relevant bc she only got into ouran bc I started talking about it for adrien/thirteen reasons #also her writing is phenom. will never ever ever disappoint #ml #asks #thirteeen #this ask just makes me!!!!!AUGH #<33333

[trainingdummyrabbit]

maybe we'll try again next time.

#pikart #projmoon #(LONG TAGS..) i talk a lot about that latter part of poems of a machine but the first chorus never fails to break my heart too #i can never remember what ive talked about and what i havent so ill do it again anyway. #specifically the line 'so here i lie; reading you my poetic stupid rhymes.' especially in conjunction with the very first lyric. #all this built up... mess and madness; concepts of impossible scope and importance for just a few words. #its the desire to express a truth outside of your reach. to tentatively try to identify; to speak; and only managing so much. #clumsy; basic; small; but it still holds a piece of your heart anyway. its not enough; but its real; its tangible; and thus important. #am i making sense? its the first steps into writing poetry / into self expression / into self acceptance / into healing and growing. #and the implication these words are being shared; despite all of this; despite all of Her. augh. #i really do think a lot about th stark difference btwn her Knowledge and her Experience. how she feels she Should function vs how she Does. #knowing how something should be vs how it Is. yknow. #anyway Oops ! Lyric Rambling In The Tags Again ! <33

[galaxygermdraws]

so instead of get back into art after the basic recovery of my surgery, I instead replayed Mario and Luigi Partners in Time…and why does nobody talk about this game?? Hardly ever see it in the Super Mario tag. Like. It’s actually insane how dark it gets. People die. Like actually die. Not as dark as SPM but like we see the dead spirits of Toads get siphoned through tubes. They had their life force sucked out of them via genetically modified trees. Yoshis were eaten by a larger alien Yoshi and were gonna be turned into more alien Yoshis via a factory IN THE GIANT ALIEN YOSHI. We see a town that’s literally just “Christmas is Cancelled” the city. Their mayor probably died. We never see these places restored because there are no survivors to restore them. The citizens of Hollijolli village probably all died by the time the bros shut down the Vim factory. And also there’s the entire scene with the Star Gate. Like. Hello??

maybe I’ll stream or let’s play this game and share it here because I think. More ppl should talk about Partners in Time. I’ll say it too: I like it more than Bowser’s Inside Story. By like a LOT. That’s my ramble for the night. Ttyd day tomorrow. Yippee

#Mario and luigi partners in time #MnLPiT #Partners in time spoilers #death mention #mario and luigi #super mario #germtalks #germ talks #Not art #LISTEN EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT SPM FOR ANGST #BUT THIS GAME IS PRETTY ANGST #especially bc the babies r in it so. The ppl who use the brooklyn bros headcanon get to work with that like. #Did their parents decide to Leave the mushroom world after the ALIEN INVASION that DESTROYED MOST THE KINGDOM #Dont even get me started on shrowser #Imagine bowser covered in grotesque purple mushrooms #Like theres HORROR THERE #and ofc elder princess shroob’s real form is. Horrific. And her BOSS THEME #AUGH #I LOVE PIT!!! #The shroobs are such cool villains and ill never forget the sickass art i saw as a kid #Of peach being infected by them or bein turned evil or smth #Idr the context i jus remember she had red eyes and a buncha tubes in her like they were filling her with chemicals #Scifi horror bs right there #Oh another thing: princess shroobs eyes act like robot eyes they flicker. Turn black. And she dies #Why is that and whybis it so COOL #and then the shroob cameo in bis?!? Thats terrifying!!! #wish theyd come back #I love u purple aliens in mario

[nat-20s]

Sorry I have a deep unshakeable and unabashed love of humanity 🙄 as of it's my fault the vast majority of humans are decent people trying to live good lives

#i think about our pack bonding i think about our creativity i think about our capacity to care i think about our ability to adapt #and im like AUGH!!! HUMANITY!!! #every simple fun interaction i have with another human #i am reminded of the good of our species #the guy who laughed bc i saud i cant stop saying 'they pay me in woims' bc thats the same thing him and his girlfriend say after work #the woman who i talked with in the grocery store about having a movie night and then calles out “have a great movie night!!” #when she saw me in the parking lot #the girl in the college dining room years ago who saw me boppin to some music and said YEAH NEVER STOP DANCING!!! #I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!

[callixton]

having had a hyperfixation on what we're studying in class is Such a bizarre sensation. like yes i could listen to you just talking generally about this for hours and not get bored. i know this better than anyone but there is also so much left to learn. i am vibrating in my seat bc you mentioned themes of loss in a really smart way.

#also hem twelfth night ur arrangements are literally SO GORGEOUS!!!!!! i want to eat them..... #never Quite realized that we never actually get viola back in the world of the play......absolutely should have before this but #viola loses viola and viola loses cesario..... augh #unfortunately this prof also didn't think that orsino's speech was misogynistic. but that's bc she is so so right about some things and so #- INCREDIBLY wrong about others oh my god. #okay i'm typing this post instead of writing my paper on it. but i'm tired and idk how to answer this question....... #elinor fuchs girl i think ur everything but can you phrase this a little clearer..... #i Am gonna be listening to His version over the weekend like. very soon #twelfth night #ted talks

[maemil]

Lying in my bed listening to butchered tongue on repeat and crying while my brain tries to convince me to relearn Irish

#hozier #his songs about language... they really get my ass #thinking about my aunt's recent visit and her and my dad speaking irish with each other and my dad who sprinkles it into his speech #on occasion but never has anyone to actually have a conversation with. and talking to my aunt about how much she loves the language #and how easily she feels it comes to her because of that and augh! #i am so bad with languages but ive wanted to learn at least *some* for so long and idk #unreal unearth #butchered tongue

[transexualbutchfagdyke]

my mom straight up told my cousin that I'm starving myself, and just now at Walmart she was looking at ice cream and she looked at me and went "It's not like you're gonna eat any, anyway" like hey maybe Shut Up and don't talk about my fucking eating habits???? especially don't tell people im starving myself??? hello????

#and like she doesnt know just how big a struggle food is at the moment #she just thinks its my ARFID and typical cyclical appetite #but EVEN SO its never funny to tell someone your son is starving himself ESPECIALLY right in front of said son #like just dont talk about my eating habits. thats not helping anything. what are you accomplishing here #augh #ratt squeaks #tw disordered eating #tw ed #tw eating disorder

[verycoolsnails]

YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!

MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓

#i loevev them so much did you know that #currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw ......... #and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick . #A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff . #that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE........... #so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha. #like that IS her voice right . im not going insane #its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ; #turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears . #and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines) #and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM .. #where theres something just ... sososo off . #and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is) #BUT . augh . auf even . #childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped #(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .) #the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour .. #aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really . #anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED. #uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony . #when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long . #which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious #i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality. #okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people? #and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping) #and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare . #uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but #i hope i got the point across <33 #i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[clay-pidgeon]

they call it a nuclear family because it gives you radiation poisoning

#this is about the sweetsunn siblings #babygirl they r in the fucking CYCLE!!!! #they are TRAPPED! IN! A! CYCLE! #they are trapped with each other and their mother who does not talk to them and their father who is dead because one of them #needed attention from the SAME FUCKING PARENTS who were never going to give them that attention #theyre just kids holy shiiiiiit #they are just 3 children who are so cut off from everything #and one breaks the cycle one perpetuates it one doesnt know what to do #BECAUSE HES FUCKING #he only exists to himself as an extension of his usefulness #and mayberry only exists to herself as a danger to others #and she doesnt know whether to prove them wrong or own it #she wants attention so bad but she knows what happens every time she tries #and acanthi holy shit!!! #shes treated as a baby she doesnt know whats happening no one tells her things #she is even more cut off because mayberry and gary feel they have to protect her from getting hurt #augh. they make me so insane #krill chirps #my stuff #krillverse #oc: gary sweetsunn #oc: mayberry sweetsunn #oc: acanthi mhorlborne

[potatobugz]

opening untitled google doc #7592 so I can attempt to write something again but ultimately never finish it

#rambles #but ill keep doing it bc. if i dont write i will never learn #i had another homestuck scenario i wanted to write but you see i only have an idea for one specific part #and i have 0 writing experience so i cant write it that well if i dont have a good udea 4 what i want to happen #anyways the premise is that feferi ascends to god tier (more like cod tier) after eridan kills her #& she revives nepeta and equius. the rest of the trolls r like hesitant to revive eridan right away #but feferi goes ahead and revives him anyway bc she has very conflicting feelings & shes like 'i just wanna talk 2 him 38(' #ofc this backfires #eridan waking up & immediately assuming the worst; freaks out and runs away from her cuz he thinks shes gonna [krill] him again #(fish pun bc i saw the opportunity and couldn't resist) #then he runs into kanaya and freaks out EVEN MORE and then attempts to run down stairs & trips on his dumb scarf (affectionate) #and falls down a flight of stairs #ive had that specific scenario in my mind for like a few days now!!! and ive been dying to put it down somewhere!! augh #other cincepts i havent fleshed out include: eridan hiding from everyone on the meteor. eridan and gamzee alliance maybe. #some exploration on how kanaya feels abt this bc i feel like kanaya is always portrayed as angry at eridan but ppl forget WHY shes angry!!! #shes *greiving*. the matriorb was like the hope for their entire race & she was tasked 2 protect it and it got destroyed #its very sad to me. murderstuck as a whole is tragic 2 me because theyre all children and i dont think any of them shoulda died #idk i hope that makes sense #um also eridan putting themself in a cycle of 'not evil anymore i want to be loved now. evil again' cuz #characters who destroy their relationships w others over and over again mean everything to me. self destructive characters my beloved #and also everyone who was revived makes it to the alpha session so eridan and roxy friendship can thrive <3 (i am ill) #and also eridan transgender arc is mandatory sorry #wow i am sorry 4 talking so much down here ive been DYING 2 get this idea out but like #i cant ramble normally in posts i have to do it in the tags or i get self conscious otherwise agh #feel free to add onto this if youd like i think #homestuck #oh also maybe nonbinary roxy too maybe bc i really like nb roxy headcanon and also t4t pale eriroxy so wonderful

[lokebrenna]

i don’t know!! i don’t know where to put this sadness! i don’t know where to put this anger! i can’t talk to anyone involved! i can’t ask for answers! i can’t!

#augh!!! #why does it feel like i’m the one who lost #when i’m the one who self harmed and thought about killing themselves! #why did i lose all of my uni friends when they said nothing would change! #why was i expected to be the one to reach out #when it was said to me multiple times about how she hates confrontation! #and yeah i never reached out- but she never reached out to talk about it either! #what was i meant to do? #literally i don’t see a way out of the situation! #i lost three of my best friends on several bad faith accusations! #i can’t even make art about it it makes me feel sick

[caramelmochacrow]

WAIT I THINK I HAD/HAVE A GAY CRUSH ON THIS ONE GIRL IN MY SCHOOL AND I DIDNT FUCKING KNOW UNTIL NOW??????

#crow talks #HELP...... #i..... i think it's a crush??? IDK??? #I NEVER HAD A PROPER CRUSH ON SOMEONE THAT WASNT FORCED BY MY PEERS...... #like. theufhvnjfdnb #the way she said my name???? IDK. IT. IT DID SOMETHING TO ME. ESPECIALLY IF SHE SAID IT CLEARLY.... #ALSO. LIKE. SHE WAS PRETTY.... #i could not look at her while we did swimming in the first semester.... #shshshshshhshshs #ANDF WHEN WE DID OUR SPEECHES SHE JFDIJV SHE SAID MY SPEECH WAS GOOD WHEN I REHEARSED IN FRONT OF EHR N OTHER PEOPLE??? LIKE. AUGHUFJHVUFJH #i brought up how rhythm games can help w people on the spectrum right and then her speechwas. ALL ABT NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE AND STUFF #shehjrfudshudshusd #im..... im very gay huh..... #LIKE. AUGHGHGHGHHG #I CNAIKCDNSKIDSJF #im so gay help...... #LIKE. i knew i liked her i just didnt wanna believe it bc of. YK. DENIAL AND STUFF. #I JUST. THOUGHT I LIKED HER BECAUSE SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON IN MY SCHOOL WHO SAID MY NAME RIGHT.... #but. i think..... it isnt..... idkkkkk.... WAUGH. #IM. GONNA GO BACK TO WORKING ON DESIGNING AUGH--

[sandrockbandit]

thats the dynamic

#my time at sandrock #mtas logan #kerroya talks like a war crime #i have never watched like. adventure tim e or anything but i imagine she talks Like That a little bit #not all the time its just sometimes she opens her mouth and none of the words strung together actually go in proximity of each other #now look im a p big proponent of ocxcanon content and i like to imagine my art would make 11 year old me go AUGH #but also my shipping content is like lacroix. its romantic if u squint lol. vague notes of fluff. #i think romance is cool n all its just funnier if i Don't directly do it and instead make 3248304 jokes abt haha i would kiss logan #like outside my art #i am SO sleepy #oc: kerroya

[skeletorsbiceps]

#zero escape #999 #my art #clover field #i have both a ze sideblog and an art sideblog #i have hardly used either #clover my friend clover #LOVE this kid :_) #not to rant but augh. love her. shes so fun and she picks fights with seven and she talks about socks and she does the pipe chant and #she loves her brother and she uses her real name as a codename sbsvbsjs #and shes just a scared kid. man #i want to draw the whole cast and i dont have the patience to wait till september so im starting now #ive doodled them lots before but never digitally #999 spoilers in tags