#BUT ITAGER....... IT MAKES ME CRAZY

[cowboy-robooty]

now that wiener has changed me i can show my true colors to you all. this is the equivalent of me posting my little prince on the internet okay because i genuinely think this is cringe and stupid but i cant help it i have autistic rage and everyday i fight against it. anyways the reason why its so big i like wieners itapan is bc this is how i actually feel about itapan

its okay though because everyday i fight to cure myself of these aids (once i opened my social media app and saw itapan and my day genuinely felt significantly worse. ruined even. i am fighting so hard).

#BECAUSE I FOR REALSIES THINK ITS SO DUMB TO GET ACTUALLY DEADASS MAD AT FICTIONAL SHIPS #WHO THE FUCK CARES #AINT NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT SHUT YO DUMBASS UP!!!!! #but my weakness... is itager... because idk im ill abt them its not a joke #ive been this way for like 6 years now #i can handle reading fanfics of germany x other characters bc germany literally never loves them #like all the fics i read of him x other characters is just him being tortured by them and he doesnt even like them #the only way he reciprocates their affections is literally after white room torture and getting turned into a different person #i believe that i think thats true thats the only way he could possibly show romantic affection to someone other than italy #i only can tolerate and sometimes enjoy content of germy/itatard x other people if its onesided and they dont love the other person #bc then im like yeah seems legit cuz theyd only love eachother in all universes #and i feel this way abt basically all of my ships i care abt bc im a monoshipper #but usually i wont give a fuck if i see them with other people im like that sucks lol but not my house not my soup! #BUT ITAGER....... IT MAKES ME CRAZY #IT MAKES ME ACT LIKE A FREAK ! I DONT ENDORSE MY OWN BEHAVIOR #thats why this is my shame............. this is my one true cringe and something i genuinely consider a flaw of mine #one of my few if not only autistic rage inducers............. please accept me for who i am. i am trying to fight this (ngl im losing but #we still try our best bc i want to have no weaknesses) #one of my few weaknesses..... #robooty dick pic

[da-gamingojichan]

Curious on how you picture PolLiet when they do yaoi gay sex

okay HMMM.... i wont lie i kind of dont think of sex a whole lot outside of itager, romapru and funnie scenarios but from the top of my head i think that when polliet bangs its always a funny struggle because lithuania can only get three fingers in for stretching and polands dick is a Micrometer bigger than that girth so liet is like HELP MEE!!! LORD SAVE ME AAAUGUHUGAUGAUA AAUAGAUAG AAUAHAFAYHWHS and they fight tooth and nail to make it work everytime. literally everytime they have sex its like the myth of sissy fist (the guy who rolls the rock up the hill and then it falls fown yknow). i think that neither of them ever consider trying to prep liet to four fingers to see if thatll work because poland needs his coke nail and he aint shaving it down for that (also because i never considered prepping to four fingers either until my friend pointed out thats something you can do. idk man they always do only up to 3 in yaoi manga and fanfiction). i think poland makes liet give him head everytime because he just really really really really really likes head. i also think that liet always bottoms because hes a True Switch and doesnt mind either way but he always insists on bottoming because polands like "well if i have to bottom then im going to prep myself **pulls out wiener 23 inch enchilada dildo** and liet goes ARE YOU CRAZY?!?! YOURE GOING TO DIE!!! and they banter and it ends with liet begging to bottom because poland is a stubborn cunt and at this point liet just doesnt want polands anal cavaity to collapse on itself. I think poland isnt all that great at aftercare like he destroys liets asshole and then hes the one who makes liet hold him in bed afterwards but its fine because liet likes holding onto poland and when liet sleeps i think poland turns over and reaches up to cradel liets head in return. but he wakes liet up but kicking him in the balls in his sleep so liet never finds out about that gay shit lol hm..... ask more specific questions for better answers next time. these r just ideas off the top of mai head teehee!

ALSO. because i didnt think like at all about this answer THIS IS NOT SET IN STONE. ALL I KNOW IS POLAND TOPS BUT ALL THIS ABOVE IS JUST MY HYPOTHESIS. (none of it has gone through the scientific process to see if its Truth. i need more thinking to know so all this above is probably not very accurate at all)

#-ask

[clean-soap]

Hey, so @bigfrigginmargarita tagged me in this tagalag! Thanks so much, Susanna I love being in tags! 

What’s your first name?

Yesenia 💕

Do you have any nicknames?

Yessi, yes,

Do you have any siblings?

I have 3 younger brothers

Do you have any pets?

I don’t have any pets but I would love some dogs or ducks!

What is your star sign?

I’m a Capricorn  ♑

Hair colour?

Blackish-brown hair 

Eye colour?

Brown

What do you like to do?

I love talking to people from face to face or through the internet.  I like drawing, walking, working out, sleeping outside, and enjoying time outside.

What don’t you like to do?

I don’t like doing homework, staying up late, and being forced to do things.

Favourite season?

Winter ❄❄

Favourite song?

I go crazy by Orla Gartland

Jesus, she’s great!

Favourite colour?

Any types of blue 💙

Favourite book/film?

Book: None b/c I’ve been so busy 😭 movie: 8th Grader

If you could choose one thing about yourself that you love, what is it?

My passion to care for my friends.  I always try to find the best interest for my friends.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live and why?

I really want to travel across Europe and Japan but I want to live in Oregon/Washington.  I really enjoy that rainy area and wanting to live in a small town. 

What is your dream job?

I’m really in a low point in my life, so I have no passion to do anything.  I just feel stuck and I’m going to do nothing in my life.  However, I really want to pursue Forensic Science.  I really love murder and cold cases  ❤

I also love art and I really want to start a podcast.  I just love the idea of talking to a person that you love talking to and just talking to them.

List three things that make you unique:

- ummm I love clothes from the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s.  So I try looking for them

- I love going to new places and finding small business 

- my love for random things and being able to hold that interest forever

Itag: @tearsofaquartz @vladtoly @rocktheholygrail @the-ice-castle @onlyleigh @doctopus @johnmulaneysgf

#thanks for the tag #tag #clean-soap #my post

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^

but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"

#robooty kun #sorry not abt my life but this is robootys fucking essay #itager #i looooveee this shit okay dey make me crazy

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way

#im a crazy bitch okay i will be like yes theyre lovey to eachother yes thats true #yes i only get gay and shit for itager bc theyre true love and then see something sappy and gay of them and go THAT AINT RIGHT #im a freak okay im such an asshole about itager bc i think theyre lovey to eachother in a very specific way and all other ways are cringe #me when the only itager i consume is the official goddamn hetalia manga #and them doujins made by corolla that mf was the only person ever who understood them (even if they were misguided and believed in gerita) #i like to think in my heart of hearts corolla knew the truth it was just the wrong time. #like how i know bill and ted wouldve loved touhou koishi song its just they were born in the wrong era #but yeah like germany and italy are gay in that BRO way like. its hard to describe but its not gay its more like.... friendship adjacent #like when you deeply care about your bro and act gay with them in that way they arent about that silently looks at the moonlight shit #they look at the moonlight and italy goes 'germany is right now a good time to tell you i fucked your car again' and germany goes 'What.' #ITS A BETTER AND MORE AWEZOME FORM OF LOVE IN MY HUMBLEST OF OPINIONS.... I PERSONALLY PREFER IT #its domestic in the way of having your average daily life of dicking around with your bros and throwing grenades in cars n shit #instead of domestic settling down and being all serious and sappy all the time #its lovey dovey in the way of being like AHAHA IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!! yeah bro... i really like you too *hug* im glad youre in my life #i just think thats so much more swag because settling down just does not sit right for me #i think settling down sucks tf you mean theres no more adventures and always sunny shit? #i think fruk can get into that settling down domestic shit but im a firm believer itager cant #because their entire dynamic hinges upon italy coming in and making germanys boring ass lonely life fun by ruining it everyday #its not itager if they arent grabbing eachothers balls and acting like bros #ive said this to wiener but its the itager itapan juxisposition #itapan (japans onesided crush ofc) is great because they act gay but are just bros #and itager is great because they act like bros but are gay #idk its hard to explain the nuances of it all but just trust me when i say canon content and corollas sfw doujins are the only true itager #content #robooty asshole moment sorry guys somethings wrong with me #robooty kun

[cowboy-robooty]

I FINALLY FOUND SOME GOOD YAOIZ.. my hunting has been so dry lately AND ITS SO REFRESHING TO FINALLY READ SOMETHING GOOD. so you guys can expect some non reuploaded draws from me Soon. ^_^

#good yaoi inspires me to draw like nothing else can #plus i found more nanahira songs that make me feel crazy and insane (itager moment) so ermmmm!!!!!!

[cowboy-robooty]

hate that im itagerring 24/7 again bc its swag yeah but also itager is my number one ship evar and bc of that its the only ship that i will ever ever EVER get sappy about. literally all other ships i only do like crack and sometimes sweetness but bc itager makes me crazy i will make genuinely sappy content and headcanons and its restraint everyday to not look unwise as shit on main everyday i will not look like a damn FOOL.

*proceeds to post sappy career ending bullshit anyways*

#sorry guys i just dont ever want to be the sappy sweet shit guy #not bc its bad or anything its just i think itager should be renowned for its lead poisoning more than the way they bring out the best in #eachother