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yasbxxgie · 4 years

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Chris Rock wasn’t sure if he was hiding out or not.

On the Friday before Labor Day, he was speaking by phone from Yellow Springs, Ohio, the rustic village where he’d gone to spend time with Dave Chappelle, his friend and fellow comedian. Rock had previously traveled there in July to perform for a small, socially distanced audience as part of an outdoor comedy series Chappelle has been hosting. But Rock couldn’t decide if this return visit was meant to be clandestine. “I don’t know if it’s a secret,” he said quietly. “Maybe it is out here.” He couldn’t easily find the words to describe what he’d been doing just before this trip, either. “I mean, I guess I’ve been acting,” he said. After a short pause, he added, at a more assuredly Rock-like volume: “In a pandemic.”

In August, Rock had gone to Chicago to finish filming the fourth season of “Fargo,” the supremely arch FX crime drama, which makes its debut on Sept. 27. The show’s creator, Noah Hawley, had chosen him to star in its latest story line, set in the dapper gangland of 1950s Kansas City, Mo., and which casts Rock — the indefatigable standup and comic actor — as a mannered, methodical crime lord named Loy Cannon.

Maybe in a different universe where the show premiered in April as originally planned, the “Fargo” role has already put the 55-year-old Rock on a whole new career trajectory, opening the door to more serious and substantial roles and silencing the chorus of fans who still knowingly ask him for “one rib.” Maybe in this universe it still will.

But when the coronavirus pandemic struck, production on “Fargo” was halted in March, and Rock and his co-stars (including Jason Schwartzman, Ben Whishaw, Jessie Buckley and Andrew Bird) were all sent packing. Then at the end of the summer, Rock was summoned back to set, first to spend a week in quarantine and then to complete his acting work under new protocols and not a little bit of stress.

Other prominent projects of his have also been pushed back — he has a starring role in “Spiral,” a reboot of the “Saw” horror series, whose release was postponed a full year to May 2021. But Rock wasn’t mourning the delay of any professional gratification, having spent the spring and summer realigning his values for the new reality of pandemic life. “Maybe for like a day or two, I was like, ‘Oh, me,’” he said with an exaggerated whimper. “But honestly, it was more like, I’ve got to get to my kids and make sure my family is safe.”

In that time he has also heard countless Americans echoing the lesson he offered in the opening minutes of his 2018 standup special, “Tamborine,” where he spoke humorously but emphatically about the ongoing incidents of police violence against Black people. As he said in that routine, law enforcement was among the professions that simply cannot allow “a few bad apples”: “American Airlines can’t be like, ‘You know, most of our pilots like to land. We just got a few bad apples that like to crash in the mountains.’”

Now Rock was feeling mistrustful about the power of his comedy to do anything other than entertain, and unsure when he would get to perform it again for large audiences. And he was admittedly wary about this very interview, explaining with a chuckle that when he talks to the print media, he said, “You have to be comfortable with being boring. If you’re not comfortable with being boring, occasionally, you’re going to get in trouble.”

Not that Rock was ever boring in a wide-ranging conversation that encompassed “Fargo” and his broader career; his latest observations on a nation grappling simultaneously with a pandemic and a reinvigorated longing for racial equality; the resurfacing of a past video where Jimmy Fallon impersonated him in blackface; and of course, President Trump. (“No one has less compassion for humans than a landlord,” he said.) Even in the absence of an audience, Rock was candid, increasingly animated, uncommonly nimble and always looking for the laugh. Now, let the trouble begin.

These are edited excerpts from that conversation.

Was there a time when you thought this “Fargo” season was never going to get finished and that the series might not be seen for a long time, if ever?

I’ve had weird little things in my career — I was supposed to do this Bob Altman movie, “Hands on a Hard Body.” We were on the phone a lot, going over my character and I was so excited about doing the movie. And he died. I was supposed to be Jimmy Olsen in “Superman” with Nic Cage [“Superman Lives,” which was canceled in the late 1990s]. I remember going to Warner Bros., doing a costume fitting. Hanging out with Tim [Burton], who I idolized. Like, I’m hanging out with the guy that made “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure” and he’s showing me the models of the sets for “Superman.” So yeah, I definitely thought there’s a chance this might not happen. Fortunately for everyone involved, that was not the case.

How did Noah Hawley approach you about “Fargo”?

It was a weird day, because it was the day of the Emmy nominations and I didn’t get nominated for my last special [“Tamborine”]. I wouldn’t say I was down down, but I was a little disappointed, and then I got a call from my agent that Noah Hawley wanted to meet with me.

I get acting offers, but I get more hosting offers than anything. It is not uncommon for somebody to want me to do a high-priced wedding or bar mitzvah — a few years ago, I officiated the wedding of Daniel Ek, the owner of Spotify, and Bruno Mars was the wedding band. I think I sat next to [Mark] Zuckerberg at the reception. [Laughs.] I just assumed Noah had some crazy request like that. The only reason I went is because I love “Fargo.” And I get there and he offers me this part.

How did he explain the character of Loy Cannon to you?

He said 1950s gangster, so I know exactly who he’s talking about. My father was born in 1933. It’s not like “12 Years a Slave.” It’s literally a guy my grandfather’s age.

In the first episode, we see Loy pitching the idea for credit cards to an uninterested white banker. Is he a man who wants to be part of polite society, but it doesn’t want him?

I mean, I remember having a production overall deal at HBO and I came in with one person to sell a talk show with them. And they wouldn’t. That person’s name is Wendy Williams. [Laughs.] That’s $100 million that I never made. I was selling Leslie Jones to people, to agents and managers, for 10 years before she got on “S.N.L.” I’m very familiar with selling a no-brainer that people go, “Huh? Why that?”

Is he different from characters you’ve played before, because he’s older and we don’t know how much longer he’s going to be sitting on his throne?

Yeah, it’s one of those jobs: Because of how well it pays, you could be killed at any moment. It is the best part I’ve ever, ever, ever had. I hope it’s not the best part I ever have. Hey, Morgan Freeman’s done a hundred movies since “Shawshank Redemption.” But that’s the best part he ever had.

This role feels like it’s declaring itself as being outside the realm of what you’re best known for. Are you thinking differently about your acting career and where you hope to go with it?

My casting isn’t as weird as it seems if you really watch “Fargo.” Key and Peele are in the first season and Brad Garrett’s amazing in Season 2. Hey, it’s my turn, OK? I want to work on good stuff. Everything I’ve done hasn’t been great, but I was always striving for greatness. I loved “Marriage Story.” I’d kill for something like that. [Laughs.] You see what [Adam] Sandler did with “Uncut Gems.” But you’ve got to get the call and be ready when your number’s called.

Your 2014 film “Top Five,” which you wrote, directed and starred in, was very personal for you. Do you want to make more movies like that?

That’s a vein I intend to keep going in. When I made “Top Five,” I got divorced. And like most people that get divorced, I needed money. [Laughs.] I had to pay for stuff. I also went on tour. Because of Covid, it doesn’t look like there’s going to be any serious touring until 2022. So I’m a writer-director-actor right now. I’m working on some scripts in the “Top Five” vein and I honestly hope to direct, some time after the new year.

How much of “Fargo” did you have to finish during the pandemic?

It was like an episode and a half — the whole last episode, and some scenes from the one before it. It’s weird, quarantine when you’re acting. Acting can be isolating, anyway, and then you throw quarantine into that. You’re in solitary confinement with Netflix and Uber Eats. But let’s not get it too twisted. Somebody that’s in solitary is like, shut the [expletive] up. And then to actually act and get tested every other day, and wear a mask whenever you’re not saying your lines. And be cognizant of which zone you’re in. Because for Zone A, everyone’s been tested, but in Zone B, not everyone’s been tested. Zone C is just, everyone’s got Covid.

You performed at one of Chappelle’s live shows in July. What was that like for you?

When you’re in the clubs, you learn the rain crowd is the best crowd. Any time it’s raining, they really want to be there. The pandemic crowd is really good. “Dude, not only do we want to be here, there is nothing else to do. There’s nothing else to watch. Thank you.”

What did you talk about?

I talked about our political whatever. America. Part of the reason we’re in the predicament we’re in is, the president’s a landlord. No one has less compassion for humans than a landlord. [Laughs.] And we’re shocked he’s not engaged.

Did you ever see that movie “The Last Emperor,” where like a 5-year-old is the emperor of China? There’s a kid and he’s the king. So I’m like, it’s all the Democrats’ fault. Because you knew that the emperor was 5 years old. And when the emperor’s 5 years old, they only lead in theory. There’s usually an adult who’s like, “OK, this is what we’re really going to do.” And it was totally up to Pelosi and the Democrats. Their thing was, “We’re going to get him impeached,” which was never going to happen. You let the pandemic come in. Yes, we can blame Trump, but he’s really the 5-year-old.

Put it this way: Republicans tell outright lies. Democrats leave out key pieces of the truth that would lead to a more nuanced argument. In a sense, it’s all fake news.

Looking back at the beginning of “Tamborine,” the first several minutes is you talking about police violence and raising Black children in a racist country. Does it feel futile when you discuss these issues and it doesn’t change anything?

I remember when “Tamborine” dropped, I got a lot of flak over that cop thing. There was a lot of people trying to start a fire that never really picked up. It’s so weird that, two years later, it’s right on. I remember watching the news and Trump said “bad apples.” It was like, you did it! You did it!

But you told people two years ago —

I did. But so did Public Enemy. So did KRS-One. So did Marvin Gaye. There’s something about seeing things on camera. If O.J. kills Nicole on camera, the trial is two days. [Laughs.] It’s two days trying to figure out what kind of cell he deserves. It’s just Johnnie going, [Johnnie Cochran voice] “Well I think he needs at least a 12-by-8. Can he have ESPN?” That would be the whole trial.

But there was videotape of Rodney King’s beating, too. It doesn’t assure any particular outcome.

Yeah, man. Put it this way: This is the second great civil rights movement. And Dr. King and those guys were amazing. But they knew nothing about money. They didn’t ask for anything. At the end of the day, the things we got — it was just, hey, can you guys be humane? All we got was, like, humanity. If they had it to do all over again, in hindsight, there would be some attention paid to the financial disparity of all the years of — let’s not even count slavery, let’s just count Jim Crow.

You’re talking about a system that really didn’t end until about 1973. And I’m born in ’65 in South Carolina. I’m probably in a segregated wing of a hospital — there’s no way in the world I was next to a white baby. Even if the hospital wasn’t segregated, I was in a whole other room and that room didn’t have the good milk and the good sheets. My parents couldn’t own property in certain neighborhoods when I was born. There was an economic disparity there, and that was not addressed in the original civil rights movement. It was a huge oversight. So there’s no money and there’s no land. If you don’t have either one of those, you don’t really have much.

Did you want to participate in the recent protests?

Me and my kids, we looked from afar. But we’re in the middle of a pandemic, man, and I know people who have absolutely passed from it. I’m like, dude, this Covid thing is real.

You’ve been telling audiences for years that racism isn’t going away and remains a potent force in America. Do you feel like you’ve seen circumstances improve at all?

It’s real. It’s not going away. I said this before, but Obama becoming the president, it’s progress for white people. It’s not progress for Black people. It’s the Jackie Robinson thing. It’s written like he broke a barrier, as if there weren’t Black people that could play before him. And that’s how white people have learned about racism. They think, when these people work hard enough, they’ll be like Jackie. And the real narrative should be that these people, the Black people, are being abused by a group of people that are mentally handicapped. And we’re trying to get them past their mental handicaps to see that all people are equal.

Humanity isn’t progress — it’s only progress for the person that’s taking your humanity. If a woman’s in an abusive relationship and her husband stops beating her, you wouldn’t say she’s made progress, right? But that’s what we do with Black people. We’re constantly told that we’re making progress. The relationship we’re in — the arranged marriage that we’re in — it’s that we’re getting beat less.

Jimmy Fallon drew significant criticism this past spring for a 20-year-old clip of himself playing you in blackface on “Saturday Night Live.” How did you feel about that segment?

Hey, man, I’m friends with Jimmy. Jimmy’s a great guy. And he didn’t mean anything. A lot of people want to say intention doesn’t matter, but it does. And I don’t think Jimmy Fallon intended to hurt me. And he didn’t.

There’s been a wider push to expunge blackface from any movies or TV shows where it previously appeared. Have people taken it too far?

If I say they are, then I’m the worst guy in the world. There’s literally one answer that ends my whole career. Blackface ain’t cool, OK? That’s my quote. Blackface is bad. Who needs it? It’s so sad, we live in a world now where you have to say, I am so against cancer. “I just assumed you liked cancer.” No, no, no, I am so against it. You have to state so many obvious things you’re against.

Who do you hang with these days? Who’s your peer group?

I hang with Dave [Chappelle]. I hang with my kids. I hang with Nelson George. There’s not a lot of hanging in the Covid world. The better question is, who do you FaceTime with?

So who do you FaceTime with?

The other day I realized I’ve never met an elderly person that was cared for by their friends. Every elderly person I know that’s got any trouble is cared for by a spouse or a child. Sometimes they have like five kids but only one helps. Where are your friends? Your friends are probably not going to be there when it really counts. [Laughs.] When my dad was dying in the hospital, where were his friends? My grandmother, where were her friends? Don’t get me wrong, you get sick in your 20s, your friends will come to the hospital. It’s an adventure. [Laughs.] You get sick in your 60s, they farm it out. “You go Wednesday and I’ll go Sunday.”

Enjoy them while you have them. But if you think your friends are your long-term solution to loneliness, you’re an idiot.

#chris rock #black face #amerikkka #racism #racial hierarchy #donlad trump #comedy #black comedy #comedians #black comedians #interview #interviews #the new york times #fargo fx #covid-19 #covid 19 #long reads

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ryukogo · 7 years

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little bird

Summary: Jimmy takes Leslie to a park.

Prompt: Park - The trees are lush and the picnic benches full-up when the July weather is beautiful and warm. Going to the park can make for a lovely experience, even if it’s not a far trip from home. Your muses may have picnics, go for walks together, or just go hang out at the playground to pass the time on a boring afternoon. It doesn’t have to just be a nature park, either- what about a theme park, or a water park trip? The possibilities are endless, and the prompt wide open!

Words: 1306

Link is in the title if you wish to read it on AO3!

PC Principal had declared her safe days before.

Nobody really trusted her enough to believe it to be so.

So, PC Principal shunts her off to Jimmy.

“Whu-w-what?!” Jimmy stumbles as he tries to get himself upright on his crutches, because it’s a startling revelation to hear from PC Principal, of all people, the person who punched Leslie Meyers in the face in the first place. “Whu-why me?”

PC Principal sighs. “It’s nothin’ personal, alright? I know we’ve had our share of disagreements-”

Jimmy visibly snorts.

“- but the fact is, Leslie is a clean slate. Like, she remembers nothing now. Literally nothing,” The man waves his hands around. “It’s been years since the incident, anyway, brah, let it go.”

Jimmy gives him a dry look - or at least he tries to. “She b-buh-b-beat me up.”

“Six years ago, brah. Let it go,” PC Principal reiterates, before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look- you’re the only kid I trust around here that won’t do anything bad to her directly. You’ll treat her right. She’s vaguely aware she’s not human, but that’s it. I know you can treat her normally, unlike the other kids, like Broflovski.”

Jimmy winces. “Kyle is puh-p-pretty hung over what she did.”

“Within reason, he is. Still - Leslie can learn about what she did later on. For now...” He places a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “Treat her as normally as possible. Right now I’ve got forged papers saying she’s my kid, so that’s probably going to be another mark against her, being the principal’s kid.”

Jimmy raises an eyebrow. “Wuh-w-why would you do that?”

“To monitor her. And...” PC Principal sighs. “When she was revived, she was so innocent. I dunno, brah, it just... it didn’t seem right to just leave her like that, PC or not. Just- I just did it, okay.”

“Okay.”

“So you’ll do it?”

“Sure.”

-=-=-=-

“My name is Leslie.”

“Muh-m-mine’s Jimmy.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jimmy.”

“...”

“?”

“You t-too, Leslie.”

-=-=-=-

It had been Nichole’s idea, really, to bring Leslie to the park, a month or so after Leslie’s initial reintroduction to South Park.

“It’ll be a great experience for her,” She had explained. “Just walking in the park with a friend. I know I enjoy my walks in the park with you guys.”

“Wuh-why? I thought you didn’t like her?”

“I do like her,” Nichole had corrected. “That’s why I’m giving you advice right now. I just never have the opportunity to show her openly that I’m on her side.”

“Thu-t-then come with us to the park.”

“This is bonding time for the two of you,” Nichole had pushed him away by this point. “I’ll come next time.”

-=-=-=-

“So this is a park?” Leslie asks him, and her neon green eyes are so innocent, so wide, that Jimmy can’t help but nod quietly. She smiles, and her smile is so perfect, so radiant, that he actually takes a step back. Perfection must come with being an ad. “It’s pretty.”

“I-It really is, isn’t it?” Jimmy agrees. “Wuh-want to take a walk?”

“Sure,” Leslie smiles, and together, ad and boy walk down the path less traveled around the park, towards the more secluded area of the park, filled with more trees and more shade. There’s a small pond within the grove of trees, and a bench by its side, and it’s this particular pond that they head towards, Jimmy sitting himself on the bench while Leslie peers at the pond curiously.

Jimmy pulls out some bird seed, and begins placing some on his pants. Spotting his action, Leslie sits by him, and tilts her head curiously. “What is that?”

“Bird suh-s-seed.”

“... Why?”

“I’m t-trying to attract birds. Watch,” Jimmy motions for her to sit still, and she does, inhumanly so, and for a few minutes, all is quiet.

And then, small birds begin swooping down, pecking at the seed on his pants, and the sight of such small creatures on Jimmy’s lap makes Leslie’s eyes grow wide with wonder as her ad makeup automatically processes the information, tucking away the images in her brain immediately. The sight of Leslie so enraptured by the birds makes Jimmy chuckle, and, taking one of her hands - startling her out of her reverie - , he pours a small amount of bird seed on it.

“W-what?” Leslie stutters for the first time in uncertainty, cupping her hands together to keep the bird seed from falling. “Why?”

“You looked ruh-r-really interested in the birds... s-so I thought you could h-have some buh-b-bu-bird seed on your hand as well,” Jimmy smiles kindly at her, and somehow, his toothy smile makes Leslie smile right back. Both of them are genuinely warmed by the gesture. “Just don’t move, and birds wuh-will come to you.”

Leslie smiles, and patiently, she waits.

Minutes pass, and when no birds come to take the seed from Leslie’s palm, her eyes flash blue momentarily as her brows crease in disappointment. Jimmy mentally tucks away the information about her emotive eyes as he places a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

“They don’t like me,” Leslie murmurs. “They know I’m not- I’m not like you.”

“They know you’re puh-p-perfect, and I’m not?” Jimmy tries to joke. “Wow. Kuh-k-keen eyed birds.”

Leslie shakes her head. “No... they know I’m not all human. That’s why they don’t want to eat the bird seed.”

“Thu-t-that’s not it,” Jimmy soothes, moving closer. The birds still on his lap cling for a moment to the fabric before resuming in consuming the seed as he says, “Just g-give it more time. It’s not because y-you’re not fuh-f-f-ully human, okay? Birds don’t care.”

Leslie looks up at him through her lashes. “You’re... you’re certain?”

“Yeah,” Jimmy swears before looking up. “Oh, look, suh-see?”

Leslie blinks, and in a hushed whisper, she lets out a small ‘oh!’ as a tiny, tiny white bird nestles itself in her cupped hands, chirping cheerfully before pecking at the bird seed in her hands. The sight is so astounding to the reformed ad that she quite nearly shakes, which makes Jimmy move a little closer in concern.

“I... it likes me...” Leslie whispers. “The... the bird likes me...”

Jimmy smiles. “W-Who wouldn’t?”

“... Everyone except you and Father...” Leslie mumbles. “And... maybe Nichole. But she likes everyone.”

Oh. Ouch.

“Nobody likes me,” Leslie whispers, and there is a sad smile on her face that makes Jimmy’s heart clench painfully. “I think it’s because of something I did before. I don’t know what it is, but it must have been terrible for everyone except you three to hate me like this. It’s okay, but...” Was that a tear in her eye? “It... really gets kind of lonely, especially when you’re not in my classes, Jimmy.”

Jimmy is at a loss for words. “Luh-Leslie...”

“I’m... I’m going to be alright though. I have you,” Leslie turns to him and smiles, and at that moment, the sun seems to shine through a small gap through the trees, and it illuminates Leslie in such a way that it makes her look inhuman - inhumanly beautiful, that is. Angelic, in a way. “I don’t need other friends if I have you.”

“And Nuh-Nichole,” Jimmy manages to remind her.

Leslie blinks, and instantly, the moment is gone, but the image is still seared in Jimmy’s brain. She smiles brightly. “Yes. And Nichole. You two are the only friends I’ll really need.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” Leslie thinks for a bit, and kisses his cheek, as if as an afterthought.

Jimmy’s face burns bright red. “I-uh-wh-whu-”

“I saw Nichole do that after thanking Token Black for finding her lost pen,” Leslie confesses. “Is... that a bad thing?”

“Nuh-no, it’s... you usually only do that wuh-when you’re dating.”

“Oh.”

Beat.

“Can we date then? I’d like to kiss you as thanks all the time.”

Jimmy chokes on his own spit.

#south park #leslie meyers #jimmy valmer #pc principal #spdrabblebomb #classo's fanfics

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madpicks · 7 years

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New Post has been published on https://www.madpicks.com/culture/tv/twitters-got-jokes-game-thrones-season-finale-dragon-wolf/

Twitter’s Got Jokes About The ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season Finale, ‘The Dragon And The Wolf’

This post contains spoilers for Game Of Thrones Season 7 Episode 7 “The Dragon and the Wolf”.

Game Of Thrones went all out with its longest episode yet for the Season 7 finale, “The Dragon and the Wolf”. There was a big death scene, a psychic vision we totally saw coming, more incest in a season that’s been like two thirds incest, and an excuse for more speculation about Bran and the Night King.

Did you know the VMAs were happening at the same time? No spoilers:

https://twitter.com/McJesse/status/901961950078394372

Meanwhile, Dany and Cersei’s respective squads had their corporate team-building getaway in an arena at King’s Landing:

https://twitter.com/saladinahmed/status/901978377913028608

https://twitter.com/tvoti/status/901983197751156736

And Daenerys was fashionably late with the fabulous entrance:

https://twitter.com/CornOnTheGoblin/status/901978184383594498

https://twitter.com/msemilymccombs/status/901978448578707456

But Cersei was unimpressed. By everything.

Dany pulls up on the first dragon to be seen in hundreds of years and Cersei is like “…..you’re late”. I love that miserable woman so much

— Larry Beyince (@DragonflyJonez) August 28, 2017

Cersei: I don’t believe in zombies Also Cersei: have you met The Mountain, this zombie I hang out with all the time #got

— Brandon Stroud (@MrBrandonStroud) August 28, 2017

CERSEI: “oh course I believe in the dead army, it’s just that I disagree the cause is man-made.”

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) August 28, 2017

Cersei failed to condemn wight supremacy too.

— Justin Duckham (@Jduckham) August 28, 2017

Meanwhile, the Greyjoys had differing opinions. Euron just wanted to know if the white walkers would come for him…

Euron was like, “can they swim? Cool cool cool…..”#GameofThrones #ThronesYall pic.twitter.com/YDu8cmJ3AT

— Fawziah Qadir (@GigiMasria) August 28, 2017

And Theon decided to go on a quest to save his sister Yara, even if he has to take more damage to the crotch along the way:

Theon be like #GameOfThronesFinale pic.twitter.com/RJt9mYUWAE

— Hector Canales (@HectorCofficial) August 28, 2017

Theon vs. Iron Born Dick Kicker > Mayweather vs. MacGregor

— Bend the Neil (@rejects) August 28, 2017

That’s what we call a deunuch ex machina. #gameofthrones

— Courtney Enlow (@courtenlow) August 28, 2017

Ugh, Theon is totally Azor Ahai, isn’t he? #GameofThrones

— Alyssa Fikse (@lyssiefikse) August 28, 2017

The weird thing is that Theon winds up having three dicks.

— Andrés du Bouchet (@dubouchet) August 28, 2017

And then Lord Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) finally — finally — got his comeuppance when Bran brought the receipts and Arya took Littlefinger out with the same Valyrian steel dagger he had given to Bran. Chaos is a ladder, Baelish.

I’d like to nominate Littlefinger getting exposed as the new “Blinking White Guy” GIF #GameOfThrones #GameOfThronesFinale pic.twitter.com/bmoGv27qdg

— Tristan Cooper (@TristanACooper) August 28, 2017

Bran’s tax return must be LIT. He got all the receipts. #GamesOfThrones

— Phillip Henry (@MajorPhilebrity) August 28, 2017

Littlefinger: “I deny it!” Sansa: “Let me call my chief witness, my brother who can SEE ALL OF TIME AND SPACE.” #GameofThrones

— Todd VanDerWerff (@tvoti) August 28, 2017

YOU ARE SO FUCKED, LITTLEFINGER. #GameOfThrones #NoConfederate pic.twitter.com/PFRXdiQ7CH

— Donna Dickens (@MildlyAmused) August 28, 2017

A boy has no throat. #GameOfThrones

— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 28, 2017

pic.twitter.com/82QH1DNyZC

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 28, 2017

hmm pic.twitter.com/H3oKgAFZcs

— Brian Grubb (@briancgrubb) August 23, 2017

Littlefinger: I AM COMMANDER OF THE VALE I DEMAND YOU TAKE ME HOME!!

Knights of the Vale: pic.twitter.com/g1kbUVxCL4

— ❄️Matt Stark❄️ (@_MatthewBoomin_) August 28, 2017

Ladies and Gentlemen, Little Finger is finally dead #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/P3Ysc7zwx7

— GoT Things (@GoTthings_) August 28, 2017

pic.twitter.com/PY9cUAHfYO

— Jimmy Donofrio (@JimmyDonofrio) August 28, 2017

Bran also told Samwell about being the Three Eyed Raven. Cool story, Bran.

Sam just reacted to Bran’s Three Eyed Raven thing like the rest of the Defenders react to Danny and his Iron Fist thing. #GameOfThrones

— Jessie (@JessLizBryan) August 28, 2017

Bran is like the opposite of a superhero. He tells people his secret identity when they don’t even ask or care.

— On Vacation Don’t@me (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 28, 2017

And Sam let Bran know what Gilly discovered about Jon Snow’s real name and legitimate claim to the iron throne. Then Bran did his greenseer thing and revealed Jon’s real name: Aegon Targaryen.

Did… did Rhaegar Targaryen name TWO sons Aegon? What kind of George Foreman nonsense….

— Rebecca Pahle (@RebeccaPahle) August 28, 2017

Naming both your kids to fulfill the prophesy jic pic.twitter.com/KujgGwZtdw

— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) August 28, 2017

You know nothing, Aegon Targaryen

— Jason Nawara (@JasonNawara) August 28, 2017

Meanwhile, Jon/Aegon and his Aunt Dany didn’t know about this revelation while they were busy getting together to “break the wheel” if you know what I’m sayin’.

Having sex while someone narrates the backstory of how you’re related to your lover is some REAL kinky shit

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) August 28, 2017

NOOOOOOOOO!! THIS CANT HAPPEN!! pic.twitter.com/CblzlIvJVT

— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 28, 2017

When youve been waiting for Dany&Jon to get together and it finally happens-as Bran narrates the story of how theyre related. #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/ayxwY3EKpY

— Alyssa Doyle Labare (@lysslabare) August 28, 2017

I’m convinced that George R.R. Martin wrote #GameOfThrones solely to convince the world that incest is okay under the right circumstances…

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) August 28, 2017

ME, WATCHING GAME OF THRONES SEASON 1: wtf is up with all the incest

ME, BY SEASON 7: incest is probably the only real love there is

— Baegar Targaryen (@TVsCarlKinsella) August 14, 2017

When you’re super happy that Jon and Daenerys finally hooked up but then remember its incest #GameofThronesFinale pic.twitter.com/ITJugdjlF6

— Jake Montgomery (@JakeM0NTGOMERY) August 28, 2017

Just when we thought the episode may have already peaked, Bran had a vision of something that may or may not be happening in real time: Tormund and Beric at The Wall witnessing the Night King on his ice dragon destroying The Wall in this amazing scene.

#GameOfThrones The wall has stood for thousands of years

Ice Dragon: “Hold my beer” pic.twitter.com/I2pBh9Rakm

— Mark Smith (@M_Miscreant) August 28, 2017

Tormund & Beric when they saw the Ice Dragon…. #DemThrones #ThronesYall pic.twitter.com/D9JMRA3Fqi

— bigmike (@mikelowkey) August 28, 2017

Dragon said “Jon ain’t the only thing tearing walls up tonight!!!”

— The Adam (@AdamMichaelJr) August 28, 2017

Night King looks like he’s on one of those 25c rides in front of the grocery store #GoT #GameofThrones #GameOfThronesFinale #ThronesYall pic.twitter.com/d2l9kK2abR

— Tori Rudacille (@TeeRudyEternity) August 28, 2017

They’re going to build a new wall, and the Night King will pay for it.

— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) August 28, 2017

Branden Stark built the Wall and Branden Stark got the Wall destroyed. And also the Night King could be Branden Stark

— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) August 28, 2017

night king shot his shot pic.twitter.com/w2O0nJ7D0h

— martin rickman (@martinrickman) August 28, 2017

TORMUND BETTER HAVE SOMEHOW SURVIVED THAT BECAUSE HIM AND BRIENNE STILL NEED TO MAKE MONSTER BABIES THAT CONQUER THE WORLD #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/icg1gpyf4Z

— kathleen (@kathleen_hanley) August 28, 2017

“We’re gonna need a bigger wall.” #GameOfThrones

— Erik Tanouye (@toyns) August 28, 2017

All in all, it was a productive season:

Well this season of GoT was a success. All I wanted was for an aunt and nephew to fuck and for an 11 y.o to continue her murderous rampage

— Larry Beyince (@DragonflyJonez) August 28, 2017

But some alleged viewers were definitely bluffing…

Game of Thrones spoiler: as expected, this episode was a real doozy.

— Martha Kelly (@MarthaKelly3) August 28, 2017

WOW THAT THRONE REALLY GOT GAMED AMIRITE

— Every Tweet Ever (@EveryTweet_Ever) August 28, 2017

And some were just happy the season was over…

ME: i can’t wait for the game of thrones series finale!

FRIEND: oh i didn’t know you watched game of thrones

ME: i don’t

— The Pan-Midwesterner (@panmidwest) August 27, 2017

Finally, time for Ballers!

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) August 28, 2017

#game of thrones #Got #HBO #TV

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Erik Malpica Flores Erik Malpica Flores recommends: ABC Halloween Teasers: MODERN FAMILY, FRESH OFF THE BOAT, SPEECHLESS and More |

With Halloween quickly approaching, ABC is airing Halloween-themed episodes of its primetime shows throughout the month of October. Fans can also watch the classic IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN, as well as a Halloween version of the film TOY STORY.

Thursday, October 18

IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN – In Charles M. Schulz’s classic animated Halloween-themed PEANUTS special, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” the PEANUTS gang celebrates Halloween with Linus hoping that, finally, he will be visited by The Great Pumpkin, while Charlie Brown is invited to a Halloween party. Cast members include Peter Robbins as Charlie Brown, Christopher Shea as Linus, Sally Dryer as Lucy, Chris Doran as Schroeder, Bill Melendez as Snoopy, Kathy Steinberg as Sally, Tracy Stratford as Violet and Ann Altieri as Frieda. (8:00–8:30 p.m.)

“TOY STORY OF TERROR!” – Tom Hanks and Tim Allen reprise their roles as Woody and Buzz, respectively, in Disney•Pixar’s first special for television, “Toy Story OF TERROR!” – a spooky tale featuring all of your favorite characters from the “Toy Story” films. What starts out as a fun road trip for the “Toy Story” gang takes an unexpected turn for the worse when the trip detours to a roadside motel. After one of the toys goes missing, the others find themselves caught up in a mysterious sequence of events that must be solved before they all suffer the same fate in this “Toy Story OF TERROR!” The cast of “Toy Story OF TERROR!” includes Tom Hanks as Woody, Tim Allen as Buzz, Joan Cusack as Jessie, Carl Weathers as Combat Carl/Combat Carl Jr., Timothy Dalton as Mr. Pricklepants, Don Rickles as Mr. Potato Head, Wallace Shawn as Rex and Kristen Schaal as Trixie. (8:30-9:00 p.m.)

Friday, October 19

FRESH OFF THE BOAT – “Workin’ the ‘Ween” – Honey and Marvin ask Jessica and Louis to be baby Maria’s godparents, and Jessica offers to babysit her on Halloween night. But the Huangs are in for a spooky evening when they agree to help wean the baby off of her pacifier. Meanwhile, Eddie is hired by mattress store owner Harv (George Wendt, “Cheers”) for a job to make some extra money so that he can buy himself a car and ends up having to work in the creepy store all by himself on Halloween. (8:00–8:30 p.m.)

SPEECHLESS – “I-N– INTO THE W-O– WOODS” – Maya’s Halloween becomes truly terrifying when JJ attends a rave in the woods. Ray joins Dylan’s Halloween heist determined to prove he’s more than a do-gooder. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Kenneth turn the DiMeo home into the neighborhood’s haunted house. (8:30–9:00 p.m.)

Wednesday, October 24

THE GOLDBERGS – “Mister Knifey-Hands” – Despite Beverly’s wishes, Jackie’s parents allow Adam to watch “A Nightmare on Elm Street” and a disagreement between the families ensues. But Beverly dreams of facing off with horror icon Freddy Krueger (guest star Robert Englund), which teaches her an important lesson about her son’s relationship with Jackie. Meanwhile, Erica realizes she’s not as popular as she once was as she starts hanging out at William Penn Academy despite the fact she’s no longer a student there. (8:00–8:30 p.m.)

AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE – “Trust Me” – When Taylor decides she wants to go to a Halloween party, Greg and Katie disagree on whether or not Taylor can be trusted. Oliver and Cooper anxiously try to prepare for playing a game of “seven minutes in heaven” with their dates at a separate Halloween event. A pregnant Viv (Leslie Bibb) follows Katie around trying to get help preparing for her baby’s arrival. (8:30-9:00 p.m.)

MODERN FAMILY – “Good Grief” – It’s another epic Halloween full of costumes, tricks and treats for the Dunphy-Pritchett-Tucker clan as they deal with huge, unexpected news. (9:00-9:31 p.m.)

SINGLE PARENTS – “Politician, Freemason, Scientist, Humorist and Diplomat, Ben Franklin” – Will is crushed when Sophie wants to tone down Halloween and invites a boy over. Poppy and the twins attempt to convince a reluctant Douglas to wear a silly costume; after he finally puts it on, he meets the woman of his dreams, who he now is sure will not take him seriously. Meanwhile, Angie struggles to tell her boss that she needs to leave work to be with her son on Halloween, leaving Graham’s costume in limbo. (9:31-10:00 p.m.)

Friday, October 26

IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN and YOU’RE NOT ELECTED, CHARLIE BROWN – This full-length version of the classic animated PEANUTS special “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” includes the bonus cartoon, “You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown,” in which Linus runs for class president. The PEANUTS gang celebrates Halloween, with Linus hoping that, finally, he will be visited by The Great Pumpkin, while Charlie Brown is invited to a Halloween party. Cast members include Peter Robbins as Charlie Brown, Christopher Shea as Linus, Sally Dryer as Lucy, Chris Doran as Schroeder, Bill Melendez as Snoopy, Kathy Steinberg as Sally, Tracy Stratford as Violet and Ann Altieri as Frieda. “You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown” – in which Linus runs for class president with Lucy and Charlie Brown managing his campaign – features Chad Webber as Charlie Brown, Robin Kohn as Lucy, Stephen Shea as Linus, Hilary Momberger as Sally and Todd Barbee as Russell. (8:00-9:00 p.m.)

Sunday, October 28

AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS – “2905” – AFV celebrates Halloween with people being scared by Halloween costumes, costume malfunctions and a music montage featuring pumpkin mishaps on an all-new episode. (7:00-8:00 p.m.)

DANCING WITH THE STARS: JUNIORS – “Halloween Night” – The remaining celebrity kids are donning their scariest costumes as they prepare to treat the viewers to some spooky dances, as Halloween night comes to “Dancing with the Stars: Juniors.” (8:00-9:00 p.m.)

Week of October 29

GENERAL HOSPITAL – Halloween haunts Port Charles when the Fall Festival becomes the scene of a startling murder. (weekdays, 2:00-3:00 p.m. EDT; check local listings)

Monday, October 29

DANCING WITH THE STARS – “Halloween Night” – The remaining couples will treat viewers to some terrifying thrills as Halloween Night comes to “Dancing with the Stars.” (8:00-10:00 p.m.)

Tuesday, October 30

THE CONNORS – “There Won’t Be Blood” – It’s Halloween, the favorite time of year for the Conners, but an email from the school banning certain costumes, including Mark’s, sets off an argument between Dan and Darlene. Jackie introduces someone new (guest star Steve Zahn) to the family at the Halloween party and insists that Dan vet him, only to immediately wish that she hadn’t. (8:00-8:31 p.m.)

BLACK-ISH – “Scarred for Life” – The twins opt out of the family Halloween costume for fear it will hurt their social status in middle school. Dre and Bow take it upon themselves to protect them from bullies by putting together the best haunted house and invite the whole seventh grade. Meanwhile, Junior starts spending time with a girl from Ruby’s choir and Ruby doesn’t know how to feel about it. (9:00–9:30 p.m.

SPLITTING UP TOGETHER – “Freaks & Creaks” – Lena decides to call Martin’s bluff on selling the house but is surprised when he actually begins making necessary repairs to get the house ready to be sold. The realtor, Jeannie (guest star Angela Kinsey) sends over Vlad (guest star Costa Ronin), a contractor, to deal with the structural issues she discovered in the house. Meanwhile, upset that Mae is not enjoying her sophomore year of high school, Lena invites Emma-Rebecca (guest star Milly Shapiro, “Hereditary”), Mae’s friend from camp, to visit; yet she seemingly brings a trail of bizarre and supernatural events along with her. Elsewhere, Maya finally tells Frank she is pregnant and is surprised by his reaction. (9:30-10:00 p.m.)

Wednesday, October 31

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! – Jimmy, Guillermo, Dicky, Cleto and the Cletones, and all of the show’s guest will be dressed for the occasion on an all-new episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” The 13th Annual Half & Half Halloween Costume Pageant will be part of the evening’s festivities, where the show takes half of one costume and half of another, weaving them together to form one amazing hybrid costume. Past creations include Trumpty Dumpty, EmoJesus, and The Walking Bed, to name a few. Kimmel will also ask parents to join in on the YouTube Challenge”‘I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy,” one of the show’s signature holiday traditions with over 329 million combined views on YouTube. (11:35 p.m.)

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