#And like I'm not even ruling out that my slightly fucked up hormones might be related to my aroace-ness

[aroandawkward]

When I was 16, my parents took me to the doctor because my periods hadn't started yet. And my mum told the doctor that I hadn't had a crush yet and asked if that could be connected. And the doctor didn't really say that my lack of attraction was a sign of something wrong, but he didn't say that it wasn't. I remember him using the word limerence and I didn't know what that meant. I remember him saying something about the age at which it's usually experienced and it was an age which I'd already passed. I remember him changing the subject without any real resolution to my mum's question.

At the time I didn't think much of it, but looking back now, I'm angry. I'm angry that my mum, with all her good intentions, thought that (what I now know to be) my orientation could be a medical problem. I'm angry that that possibility was raised to me before I learnt the words asexual and aromantic. I'm angry that my mum probably doesn't even remember this incident. I'm angry that the doctor didn't tell me that some people never experience attraction and there's nothing wrong with them. I'm angry that none of us - not me nor my mum nor the doctor nor anyone else I knew at that point in my life - knew that me never feeling attraction was a perfectly healthy possibility.

#tw aphobia #tw internalised aphobia #aromantic #asexual #I'm not going to be like 'imagine if this happened with other orientations' #because I know it has and it still does #but it's fucked up #And I know I'm lucky not to have been subject to any major medical discrimination #but this still makes me feel so uncomfortable to remember... #Honestly it probably contributed to how long I clung onto the idea that maybe I was just a late bloomer #And like I'm not even ruling out that my slightly fucked up hormones might be related to my aroace-ness #but even if they are what does it matter? #I just needed to be told that there was nothing wrong with me for not having had a crush #I just wish someone had told me that #Sorry this is kind of a vent but it feels like an important memory to me #Awkward aroposting

[dancing-to-architecture]

22 - LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver (2007)

Sound of Silver, more like "Sound of my Post-Collegiate Bummer Years".

This band rules. This album rules. Listen to it if you haven't yet. Thank me later.

It might be the best example of nü-disco, which isn't really a thing but it fucking SHOULD BE.

•Get Innocuous!-

This intro is forever, but it slaps so hard you barely notice it's been 2 ½ minutes when the singing finally comes in, and the fading-out singing is such a cool sound.

Normalize "it making you feel alive"!

•Time To Get Away-

Let the vocal acrobatics commence! For a guy who kinda talk-sings through most of the songs here, his ability to go from a low note to a high note is pretty amazing. Freddie Mercury-level octave leaping on display.

Otherwise, it's a funky-ass bop about breaking up.

•North American Scum-

As something of a North American scum myself, I love this song. Unfortunately, the last time i was given the aux at work... let's just say I was alone in my enjoyment.

"And for those of you who still think we're from England? We're not."

The chorus is simple but effective, and it WILL get stuck in your head.

•Someone Great-

Another long intro that i absolutely love. It just moves.

This song's instrumentation reminds me a lot of Oingo Boingo, in that everybody in the studio is doing something entirely different, and the whole thing really shouldn't work, but it does and it's beautiful.

This song's lyrics just (and likely will always) remind me of the last time i heard it: the day David Bowie died.

•All My Friends-

Starts with one of those chaotic piano bits that sounds like it's easy to play but I'm sure it's actually incredibly difficult, considering how it sounds just slightly out of time with itself, and it just keeps up like that forever.

Also, one of the most relatable songs on the album. I miss hanging out with all my friends. It's been too damn long since I've seen most of them.

•Us V Them-

This one has always had big Talking Heads energy to me. Might be the odd percussion and kinda anxious vibe.

Kinda repetitive at the end.

•Watch the Tapes-

Eh, it's alright. Imo, the weakest song on the album, which isn't to say it doesn't pull its weight, just the one I fuck with the least.

•Sound of Silver-

"Youth may be wasted on the young, but nobody old really wants to be young again, because being young FUCKING SUCKS and there's nothing to do but get torn asunder by your own out-of-control hormones and waste your youth."

•New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down-

Honestly, put this in my top 30 favorite songs of all time. One I've always wanted to try at karaoke, too.

I've never lived in NYC, never even been to New York state, but I've lived enough places and watched them change entirely to have this one really resonate with me.

(A personal aside: i miss the living hell out of you, dirty sketchy downtown Normal, Illinois. I miss your weird little shops and your holes in the wall that were all torn down to make way for hotels and CVSs and 5-over-1 "luxury apartment complexes" that all only exist to bilk college kids out of their money. They tore down and paved over everything that made you cool and interesting and replaced it with corporate bullshit, and you will never be avenged because nobody but me even cares about what you were anymore.)

This track is Completely Different from every other song on the album, but one of the most heartfelt songs of true despaired longing that i could name off the top of my head.

Nothing else i can think of properly conveys the sense of: 'yeah, sure, this place was objectively terrible and truly filthy and incredibly dangerous but it was ours and we loved it dirty and scary and wonderful. It felt like home.

And now you fucking suits and state senators have gone and cleaned it up and sanitized it and moved all the weirdos out and raised the rents to keep it the riffraff and made it "acceptable to the public" and ruined literally everything that made it special and fun and different and unique and good.'

The piano is so beautiful, the drumming at the end is inspired, and the video is exceptional, too.

Damn, this album is so good.

Favorite Track: New York, I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down. If you listen to one song on this album, make it this one.

If you listen to two songs on this album, pick North American Scum to go with it.

Least Favorite Track: Watch the Tapes.

As prophet of our age Laura Les put it best: "we don't want to watch the news, we just read statements".

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #LCD Soundsystem #Sound of Silver

[captains-simp]

Carol Danvers ~ Impatient Acts: Part 1

Carol Danvers X fem!Reader Smut

Word count: 1,724

Includes: phone sex, degrading, captain kink and masturbation with fingers and strap on

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"How much longer do you think you'll be away?" You ask with a pout as you role onto your back, staring up at the dull ceiling and imaging your girlfriend somewhere far above it.

"I don't know, baby. Could be a couple days, maybe more...a lot more." She spoke into the device. Even though you were disappointed you were still quick to realise her tired voice sounded a lot like her morning voice, something that always turned you on to no ends.

Right now Carol was getting ready to rest for the night, if that was even a thing in space, while you lay on your bed in the midday summer heat.

The blonde had been away for a few weeks now and you missed her so much. You missed everything about the captain and there seemed to be nothing you could do to fix that. It seemed cuddling her pillow was only enough for when your were falling asleep, and even then you wanted to feel her strong arms wrapped around you.

Not to mention her being away for so long was leaving you incredibly sexually frustrated. You had told Carol this countless times when she had been away, but she just laughed it off before reiterated her number one rule: no touching the captain's property.

Just thinking about her referring to you and your body in such a way made a fire ignite between your legs.

"I miss you." You spoke quietly into the mic on your phone, closing your eyes and trying to invision her right now. She practically always slept in sweatpants and a vest, even in the winter when she was able to heat up her body with her powers (which was like sleeping with a warm blanket wrapped around you). Although sometimes she might not have those sweatpants on...and maybe even nothing beneath. You bite your lip at the thought.

"I miss you too." She said in that morning voice that encouraged the need you felt.

You were only wearing a loose vest and panties. You had no plans of going out, you were home alone and the summer heat wouldn't have been bearable to you in anything else.

"So much." You whispered into the mic as your fingers trailed delicately across your bare thigh and you imagined the motion being from Carol.

Speaking of who, the blonde was quick to catch on to the nature of your speech, knowing all the signs of you being horny you didn't even know you showed.

You heard her move position in her bed and imagined her moving to straddle your waist to kiss down your neck, or making herself comfortable between your legs to slide her strap in easier.

Your eyes flickered open to eye up the closet that you knew Carol had left one of her straps in as she spoke.

"What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously but knowing full damn well what you wanted to do.

"Nothing." You replied with a smile and your best innocent voice. You contemplated getting up and heading for the closet as you said that, but decided to just listen to Carol's voice instead...for now.

"You better be." She said with warning etched into her tone. You shivered at her words slightly as your fingers wandered over your clothed folds that were now drenched with your arousal.

"Or what?" You asked with a smirk and all the confidence you could gather; knowing full damn well you were going to pay for it later. But you were so god damn horny and Carol's voice was all the help you needed, the consequences would be another day's problem.

"Or you're going to regret it." She stated.

You scoffed at her words, not believing the punishment she was going to give could possibly not be worth the orgasm you were going to have tonight.

"It?" You questioned, wanting to hear her spell it out to you. Dirty talking would definetly get you off.

"If you touch that needy little pussy of yours without your captain's permission," she started - her voice getting lower and abandoning her tired tone now she was paying you full attention, "then when I get home I'll make your punishments so bad you'll beg for my forgiveness like the desperate whore you are while crying out for it to stop. You think I've punished you bad before? Things will get unimaginably worse for you if you disobey your captain, slut." She finished, bitterness engraved in her voice that made you bite you lip to stop yourself whimpering pathetically.

You knew you should stop. But the hormones were clouding your judgement and you could physically feel your arousal ruining your panties.

You didn't respond to Carol, you couldn't. You were completely unable to form any words as your fingertips finally dipped under your panties and stroked the wetness of your pussy.

"Well?" Carol asked expectantly. The moment of silence was filled with unbearable tension.

Your clit was throbbing, your pussy walls were clenching around nothing and a thin layer of sweat was forming along your body. You weren't going to wait any longer.

"No." You whispered. There was more silence as Carol didn't seem to believe you would defy such explicit orders, you always obeyed her.

"No?" She questioned, her voice stoic.

Your fingers stroked your folds more until you had collected enough of your juices. With ease, you slipped two fingers inside your touch deprived pussy and gave a long moan as they sunk deeper into you.

Carol growled lowly into the mic before speaking again. "Don't you fucking dare, y/n." She spat.

"I'm so wet, captain." You smiled as you started a slow pace with your fingers, not wanting to overwhelm your most sensitive part after weeks without contact.

"Stop." She said firmly but the anger in her voice only encouraged you. You could imagine her jaw clenched to enhance that prominent jawline. Her fists clenched and probably dieing to be choking you with them. And despite her objections, you bet she was wet.

You curled your fingers ever so slightly and shivered as they brushed against your most sensitive part. You sighed in bliss and moaned once your pace increased.

"Captain..." You whimpered, your thrusts becoming rougher as you clenched around your fingers occasionally.

"It's not worthit, y/n. Do not cum on those fucking fingers." She spat, prouncing all words to the t slowly and deliberately.

Her words planted an idea in your mind and you grinned mischeviously.

"Yes, captain." You replied and gradually pulled your fingers away, your pussy instantly clenching and protesting.

"Good. Now go to sleep." She ordered but you ignore her as you got off the bed and went over to the closet with one of Carol's straps. You bit your lip at the site of the perfect silicone and took it back to the bed.

You stripped off your panties and flung them across the room before laying down again and being thankful Carol hadn't hung up, probably dissatisfied by you not responding to her.

"I miss you fucking me with your cock, captain." You said truthfully into the mic. You didn't miss the uneven breath from Carol that she tried to fix.

"I'm glad you left my favourite behind." You smirked as your fingers stroked the toy.

"Don't even think about it." Carol warned but you disregarded her again as you placed the strap at your entrance, not even needing lube because of how wet you were and especially as you all but edged yourself just a minute prior. Granted, Carol rarely decided to use it either.

You made sure your head was tilted towards you phone that was close to you so your increasingly frustrated girlfriend could hear how your breathing was increasing in anticipation.

Her additional warnings fell on death ears as you only focused on those sound of her voice rather than the message. You were faintly aware of the threats and her telling you you were a disrespectful whore.

You moaned in response to her when the strap pressed itself further against your pussy lips as they eagerly spread themselves apart for the silicone.

You moaned even louder when the intruder was pushing it's way inside you, all the time imagining Carol above you while she whispered dirty truths to you like a secret.

"Captain." You whimpered as you pushed the strap on further, the result being your walls clamping down on it and your juices aiding it all.

You could hear Carol's breathing increase too, clearly turned on by hearing you fuck yourself with her strap and getting off to imaging her. But she would never admit that.

"It feels so good." You moaned as you pulled the strap out, only to have it return with force you hadn't realise you could conjour.

Her breathing hitches as she hears the wet sounds your pussy makes when you thrust the already soaking toy into your needy pussy. You do this continuously as you set a steady pace and lift your hips up slightly to give yourself better access.

Your pace doesn't falter and the strap continues the thrust into you, not nearly matching the pace Carol would give but knowing she'd up that when she gets back. The very thought of how rough she would be with you makes you gush with wetness and amplifies the sounds your pussy is making.

You moan louder into the mic as you mutter Carol's name over and over, as though doing so could make her appear.

"I'm gonna cum." You breathe out heavily and whimper as you approach you high.

"Don't." Carol orders and you can practically hear her teeth gritting between words.

With that command, you whole body tenses up and you back arches. You moan the loudest you had all night as you reach you first orgasm in weeks. "I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" You practically scream as you clench desperetly around the strap as you cum hard on the toy, shaking in pleasure as some of your white, sticky liquid escapes around the sides of the toy and spreads across your thigh as you clench them together after pulling the strap out.

You hadn't even regained your breath when Carol speaks her final words that night.

"You're going to regret that."

My Captain has ended the call.

Part two

#captain marvel smut #captain marvel #captain marvel imagines #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers smut #carol danvers #carol danvers imagines #brie larson #captain