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#ANYWAY. VERY AFRAID RN. HALF OF ME HOPING HE DOESNT MAKE IT HALF OF ME HOPING NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO HIM EVER AGAIN
bethiewhimsy · 1 year
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gonna say something that y’all aren’t going to like. but. lowkey hoping dazai doesn’t make it.
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huntsman-ash · 3 years
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RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts
And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.
Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?
Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.
And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now. 
Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?
Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?
If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.
And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.
But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.
Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.
Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally.  Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.
Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)
A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.
Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.
Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn. 
Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.
The music sounds like a boss fight.
The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is. 
Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?
Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human
Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.
Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?
Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...
Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...
What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.
Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.
And there goes the dropwall. Woops.
Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.
Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost.  Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.
I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD
Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all. 
Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is. 
Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here. 
Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.
Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.
Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...
I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.
Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.
Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.
Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands. 
I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...
Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.
Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.
I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT. 
Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.
Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.
Yangs got a point.
Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale. 
SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT. 
...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.
Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction 
It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually. 
Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.
Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.
Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.
Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...
Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.
...Im not impressed.
She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.
HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology. 
At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.
More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.
NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.
More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.
I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.
Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.
I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me. 
Get fucked, Cinder.
And THERE is Cortana again too.
Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.
Wait the whale’s that close?
..oh my...hold on.
...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!
12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?
ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.
...
No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...
...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you
THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU  OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.
Emerald stop simpin.
Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before. 
Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.
Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.
Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?
And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too. 
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saintkimora · 7 years
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well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week
so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought
lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel
so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice
and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao
so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post
so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning
also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 
there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it
so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen
so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!
so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 
he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip
so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised
so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far
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aparoxysm · 7 years
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❤ to learn about my character’s past relationships
Where do I even start with Ian HA HA HA :’) 
Alright so basically, the story is as goes; after being a royal weak ass bitch in the eyes of his big scary Bart Bass™ dad he went off to college with a whole new appreciation for what distance did and what the world had to offer, oyster and all. he quickly made some dumb friends and went some frat party where his bro # 1 was hooking up with a couple of girls and Ian is just like “WOW how do i do that too that looks fun af???” and his friend is like “dude try a poly its good shit" and ians like “man ok what is this can i just like be with a hundred chicks at once or like are there rules???” and his friends like “nah, nah, young padawan, u got much to learn in the ways of being polyamorous. let me introduce u to some cool people, they’ll show you the ropes” 
And so basically from that moment on, he’s never actually BEEN in a monogamous relationship. A little louder for the people in the back; HE HAS NEVER KNOWN WHAT DATING 1 PERSON FEELS LIKE. he took on poly relationships really seriously too, he wasn’t your average dumb prick who just liked to have 200 women at his beckoning call. because he doesnt just like women for the sake of women. he likes relationships, he likes being someone different to all these girls and them having their own versions of him in their head. its kind of like, his therapy. he’s a flighty guy, hes got girlfriends in different parts of the globe. as soon as one is getting too.... ??? just too. then he bounces on to the next and will be back later when hes less Shook™.
That being said, one of his first real strong connection relationships was with the mayor’s daughter of the town he was born and grew up in. Her name’s Rebecca and shes a total rich, elitest just like his family is being known for. But she’s open minded and strong willed and he would let her walk all over him in her Gucci heels if she wanted to because shes one of the few he’s been allowed to be completely honest and real with. Just in the last year they had a hiccup and he got her pregnant. While half of him kind of wanted to get hit by a bus because this is so classic of him to fuck up this bad, the other half is like OMG I MADE SOMETHING THATS LITERAL PERFECTION EVERYONE WHO THINKS IM 2 STUPID TO PROCREATE IS EATING THEIR WORDS RN I AM #1. basically, he is really happy to be a dad and when hes in town, hes the best dad and theyre a family but like. he is still ian and ian is still poly and that is something he will have to explain to his daughter one day. @rebecca-james (u will literally never let me tag u will u GOD WOMAN)
Another relationship that affected him for better and worse was a sweet, down to earth artist who was living in the shady ass part of town where he grew up. Kind of a Prince & Pauper situation, he had a lot of lifestyle differences to wow her with and for her it was an amazing form of escapism therapy. She wasn’t from his world and he wasn’t from hers, so they really had no judgments to make but their own and... basically i think it was the first time in his life he almost considered monogomy. Because when she found out he was seeing other people --- and guys, he’s usually honest about it. like thats in the rules, you dont fuck around with people and lead them on only to be like SIKE u one of twenty baby. like thats just being a collosal dick and he aint about that humiliation. he likes to be as open as possible about it. --- anyway basically when she found out, she was v emo about it. she was like “i understand” and hes like “i wish you didn’t” and shes like “its okay” and hes like “but its not  can tell” and shes like “its fine i love you” and hes like “pls dont it hurts me” and basically. he was 2 weak when he got rebecca pregnant to even face this girl and tell her it in person so he ran away like the 4 year old he is, moved cities and just like. hoped he’d never see her again because now he is the ultimate asshole to the woman he honestly would have probably almost maybe like given up being poly for. but he didnt. because in real life, people dont do what you want all the time. and i think it was and is still important to their story that he sticks to what he believes in. even if it might have ruined his chances with her. @adam-sterling (lol)
Enter sam, literal blonde beauty. She’s from the ritz, her fam is pretty up there, but she’s not your average spoiled and entitled upper class brat. She got issues and so does he cause hes basically avoiding all that noise up there ^ and its like. Just nice to be someone else again, so he really is very closed up about it. He pretends he aint got shit to deal with and sam helps him feel like a cooler version of himself and it’s just easy. Its nice. Also shes hot, like double whammy. @dimpsandhoes
Now we got Malina (bless her soul) and I am really afraid of her having to deal with literally any of this.
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survivetashirojima · 4 years
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Episode #1- “This cast...this cast...this cast.“ -Timmy
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who’s ready to get atomic up in this bitch?
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okay so, first impressions(Aka First night vibes) Brien- you seem cool JG - KALOKAIRI BUDS Dylan - I have played 2 games with you, what up bud! Stephen - the third of the many Kalokairi Kevin - haven't played with you before, but im excited to Andrew- Heyo, you hosted me, im super excited to your playing style. Jacob- I've been in VL's with you but never played. Timmy- yet another Kalokairi buddy Jay? - you seem really cool. Joanna- I can't wait to play with you Julia- Montenegro gal! please don't vote me out first this time. Madison- i feel like we are going to confused for eachother alot. Pat- I want to get to know you better Tom- I have feelings about you, but I can't tell if they are good or bad yet Veni- BRO you don't know how happy i am to see you Ricky- I have a good feeling about you dude. Kenny- i can't wait to play with you! and to vibe check myself? STRESSED. this twist gave me a panic attack. we are good now. i am already freaking out about keeping my grade up (since i'm already failing a class) and challege is tonight and i have no time to do it. FUCK.
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Day 2: still alone lost in the vast wilderness. No civilization in sight... the gods have forsaken me.... someone please send help... wait what is that I see? A camp? PEOPLE???? ITS BEEN SO LONG!!! Jkjk the hosts added the wrong person so I got added in like 2 hours after the actual start which isnt terrible Bc now i can just pretend I’m a pitiful little soul. Also like 1/3of the cast is people I’ve played with before but I haven’t even touched skype in like a year and a half so I have no idea any of them anymore!!! I hope we can all be friends again since from what I can remember, we were all on pretty good terms. My reaction to the “twist” is, it’s amazing. It fits my play style much more. Who needs idols? I rarely ever went to search for one and I was fine? Maybe... oof... also the whole everyone is in one tribe thing is really cool. More the merrier. It’s just really annoying Bc Skype is a pos. Anyways so far so good and I’m loving the people that are in the cast so far. Amazing cast and even more amazing hosts. I love all of them
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okay so. first game back since surgery. olivia and lukas, love those bitches, but i was like i'm a working woman now so do you think that my work will interfere too much? and they were like nah, and i was like okay, so naturally, the first (live) challenge starts right in the middle of my shift. and this one tribe thing, wacky. this is gonna be one comeback game (if i get voted out first i am going to get surgery again and then never come back ever) (jk) (...kinda)
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I wanna win immunity 😭😭😭
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This cast...this cast...this cast. So i know like 90% of these people. I'm currently hosting 4 of them...was hosting 5. It's a very strong cast which is great, but it also means that anyone can go at any time. I'm just gonna talk about them in order of the cast reveal. Brien: I've never spoken to him and have still yet to. He's one of the people in ihos but he's quiet there. Andrew: another ihos person who I haven't spoken to. I've seen him around for years but we've never played a game together. Or at least have never been on the same tribe. Madison: big titty queen. I love her with all my heart and I have no idea what is going to happen with her. She messy but amazing so who knows. She did meet JG and Jacob in person a few weeks ago so they are all close, so i do need to keep an eye out for all of them, even though I am close with them. Ricky: another ihos, and he is friends with Andrew. I doubt he's going to work with me so that is concerning. But it's early so who knows. I'm already getting bored of typing things about everyone. Kevin: no idea, but he seems nice. Madeleine: A true queen and a sweetheart. Julia: no comment. Pat: i've seen him win 2 games that i have played with him. He is quiet but dangerous and I need to watch out for him in time, but for now he will be a good ally. Stephen: king, but does tend to go early. Idk where he will stand this game but we're already in an alliance together. Vi: haven't seen her in over a year, kind person. Dylan: cracked Kenny: no idea Joanna: scary legend who will go hard, but has been very quiet thus far. I wonder who quit right before the start of the game. Jacob: we never talk, but as of now he is who i have been talking to the most and I really do trust him. I am hoping this game is different for us and that we will actually work together. I'm excited to see what happens. Thomas: can't wait for him to strike out JG: King, who also is close with a few people, but i do trust him, but he can be a snake. Jay: It's been a minute since he's played. Not sure how to feel.
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I GOT A POINT WOOOHOOOOOOOOO ONLY MISSED THE FIRST HALF OF THIS CHALLENGE
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So. Uh. I got -3 points. I’m so talented.  It’s okay though. I pretty sure I’ll be voted out first so it doesn’t matter how low of a score I get. I’m just trying to bribe everyone else with cute animal pictures DX even if people hate me, maybe they’ll keep me just for more cute animals.
Update: I lost another 5 points. Let me die already... at this point I don’t even need to piss off everyone else to lose. I’ll probably get like -500 points and automatically get kicked out of the game for being bad
-22 baby. I petition for the hosts to change the chat name from Tashirojima Challenge chat to Challenge chat. What the fuck. I keep reading it as the main chat Bc tashirojima seems like a tribe name. AT THIS RATE MY JEST OF -50 POINTS IS ACTUALLY GONNA COME TRUE!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT ALLIANCES I CANT EVEN FOLLOWRULES LET ALONE FIGURE OUT HOW TO WIN PEOPLE OVER TO MY SIDE ahhhhhHhhhhHhHHHHHH
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Night 2 Vibe Check! (Featuring a quite drunk Maddie!) Andrew- haven’t talked to you much, but I want talk to you more! Ricky- you seem cool, we haven’t Talked yet today Tom- smooth Dylan, damn you and your fast phone Kevin- you are a freaking challenge beast! JG- I missed talking with you, I’m glad we are again Stephen- I hope you feel better soon! Jacob- you are good at challenge (This is where I stopped and started the next morning when I was sober) Jay- you’re cool! I like you Julia- imma take you to the end sister. Love you! You make me feel safe In this game Pat- I can’t quite get a read on you yet Vi- I can’t believe they added the wrong person! You are really cool! Love ya! Brien- you are really nice! Timmy- I am super excited that we are playing together again! Joanna- I’m sorry I keep forgetting your here! Kenny- you seem really cool but I need to get to know you better Madison- I don’t think we’ve talked yet, but I want to. And how I’m feeling, well I just lost immunity, so I don’t feel safe, I’m interested to see how this goes, this season is definitely interesting!
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Hey out there! Long time no see! To be honest, I don't really have the first idea at what I'm doing. I kinda missed the first day and a half because I was working and then immediately went out with friends, but I think I'm making up for it! I'm starting to chat one-on-one with people, no strategy talk yet though. Which could be real dangerous since I don't have immunity, but there are people that just...haven't talked at all, as far as I can tell at least. Luckily I have a few prior connections in Madison, Joanna, and Andrew. I know Pat and Ricky too but I'm iffy on how they feel about me. I'm pretty sure I ghosted Pat's game earlier this year, SORRY PAT! I got busy and then I felt too embarrassed to show back up D: and I've just never been too sure about if Ricky likes me or not. But other than that I've talked a bit to Madeleine and Vi and I love them both, messy challenge chat icons. I totally missed some messages from Brien, Jacob, and Kevin though, but I've messaged them all back now so hopefully they don't hold that against me. Tribal isn't until tomorrow, so I assume that's when the real scrambling will begin. I just don't know when to jump into alliance talks, I don't want to play too hard too fast. But then I again, I want the chance to play at all.
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Idk why Vi was so hard pressed on me not getting immunity. First it seemed like a joke, then they..... were really into it.
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Interesting notes from within the first few days: Me/Jacob/JG recently met irl so that's cute Ricky/Andrew I think met a few months ago or something Brien and Pat are both from Philly hmmmm Everyone and their mother works retail in this game so we all suffer together or not at all Day 2 i got an alliance with Jacob and Timmy so that's cute but I'll probably be out first because let's face it I'm a threatening human and i ain't afraid to pull a machete on these kiddos.
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Night 3 tea spill!* *has been cancelled due to emotions
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So far I’m loling brien, and Vi. Madeline is kind of annoying if I’m honest. BUT we’re all in an alliance. I have a few familiar faces, Jay, Madison, Joanna, so I’m excited to see what happens this season
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https://youtu.be/-_5c-vMFG9E
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Quick Cast Assessment Time: Brien: we're in ihos spain together and we talk on and off but apparently ricky was like omg look at this ihos crew and brien was like whos andrew so i think thats where we're at rn. might work with him might not who knows Dylan: biiiig dylan fan personally and i know he can be sketch in games so i wanna be on his good side so he doesnt fuck me over right away Jacob: cool dude but ticking time bomb and idk if i can work with him but maybe i can work with him by proxy of ricky.......if he shows even one sign of being a bad ally he's literally out of this game Jay: furry back back back again and him and i usually work well together so im hoping something can come from that JG: i like him personally but hes just one of those people that exudes almost constant sketchiness which idk if thats necessarily his fault lmao and yeah idk i have to keep an eye on him Joanna: nice girl! wanna get to know her better for sure. i neglected to message her up until today when she actually messaged me first so whoops Julia: absolute crackhead who doesnt like me for funsies bc shes a troll but i think more and more people are hopefully seeing her mentally unhinged troll thing as tired lately and i really dont want her to last very long Kenny: i havent talked to him yet but hes a cool dude that i played literally one game with like two years ago so idk maybe we can reconnect Kevin: so i think he probably literally talks to everyone in the exact same fake nice gay man way so i have to be mindful that its prob just not me that hes overly nice to bc i know he can be intense and i know he can be good at these games so hes one im gonna try to keep close but also be willing to cut at any time Maddie: literal love of my fucking life who i want to work with closely in this game bc i know shes loyal and i know she can have my back if she trusts me enough Madison: nnnnnnn i mean i called her stupid in a diary room from bb gilmore over the summer which i think prompted her to leave our reunion chat so not the best start there. also i think her and jacob are up each others asses ever since they met irl so love that for me Pat: i just know hes mildly attractive Ricky: absolute number one ally who i trust with my entire coochie and the goal is to hopefully subtly run this entire game together Stephen: a nice man! we havent played together in a while and we worked together in that one game so maybe we can reconnect maybe idk Timmy: havent had the best personal experiences with him attacking my friends in vls.........idk i just find him annoying lmao is that mean Tom: hopefully going home tonight! Vi: i literally dont know if this is even a real person like i know she got goated in her first main series game for being the actual worst and then we brought her back for seychelles where she was one of the worst players ive ever seen so maybe she'll just disappear one day so i dont have to deal with her
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I’m only voting tom cause that’s the only vote I’ve been told. It’s probably wrong but we’ll see
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First off: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10IWN3bqYXYdJ232wG5fUhPmnDee8SP2i/view?usp=drivesdk damn thing finally loaded Second: God Vi gets on my nerves. Intentionally. I need to remember to just not talk to her or she’ll manipulate the view point to make me seem bad. She can’t play survivor to save her life but she’s god can she fuck up someone elses game. I look forward to voting her out.  
CASUALTIES:
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EPISODE 1 CAST ASSESSMENT:
PART 1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jztyauZhcBY&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=5&t=0s
PART 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjoFbmrLSTc&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=5
0 notes
adambstingus · 5 years
Text
Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser
Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.
So lets give the people what they want, shall we?
They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.
PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,
Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.
Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.
Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.
Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.
Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.
MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!
Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.
THE GAME
YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.
The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.
Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!
The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.
Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?
Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.
Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?
Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.
Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.
Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.
Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?
Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*
Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?
Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.
RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.
Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.
Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)
Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?
Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.
John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.
Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.
STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work
Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.
There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.
HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.
Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.
Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.
Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.
He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.
THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED
For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.
Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.
CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!
Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”
GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?
TRUTH BOOTH
Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?
Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.
Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.
John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.
Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!
While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?
Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.
Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.
GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby
And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?
Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.
Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.
They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?
The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die
Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!
GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.
The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:
Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.
Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.
MATCHUP CEREMONY
Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.
Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?
Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.
GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.
Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.
Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?
Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.
Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.
They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.
Tyler picks Bagel.
Cam picks Tori.
All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like
Morgan picks Victoria.
Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.
Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.
Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.
Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like
RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now
Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.
Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.
This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.
They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.
Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182227933232
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allofbeercom · 5 years
Text
Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser
Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.
So lets give the people what they want, shall we?
They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.
PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,
Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.
Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.
Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.
Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.
Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.
MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!
Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.
THE GAME
YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.
The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.
Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!
The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.
Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?
Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.
Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?
Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.
Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.
Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.
Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?
Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*
Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?
Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.
RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.
Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.
Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)
Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?
Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.
John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.
Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.
STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work
Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.
There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.
HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.
Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.
Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.
Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.
He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.
THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED
For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.
Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.
CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!
Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”
GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?
TRUTH BOOTH
Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?
Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.
Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.
John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.
Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!
While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?
Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.
Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.
GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby
And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?
Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.
Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.
They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?
The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die
Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!
GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.
The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:
Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.
Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.
MATCHUP CEREMONY
Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.
Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?
Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.
GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.
Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.
Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?
Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.
Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.
They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.
Tyler picks Bagel.
Cam picks Tori.
All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like
Morgan picks Victoria.
Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.
Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.
Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.
Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like
RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now
Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.
Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.
This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.
They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.
Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/
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survivedeathvalley · 7 years
Text
EPISODE 1 - “TIME FOR SOME BRO AND TELL” - GIRUGA MESH
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I am so excited to be competing! Everyone seems like such nice people and I can't wait to play in the challenges and do my very best!
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Mattie is such a Basic Bitch(TM) and it's killing me. Like I'm not that great of an actress, I am a superb liar but I am a shitty actress. Why? because humor is the only thing that keeps me from going insane and I made Mattie such a basic bitch that she can't use any of my "quirks" or fun thoughts and theories. And now Mattie just mentioned death by dehydration, motherfucker! I am so going to be first boot it's not even funny. UwU
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I just wanna talk about my feelings about being on the neutral tribe... I do consider myself on the Chaotic Neutral/Chaotic Good side of things. The chaos comes from my crazy emotions. I'm a Pisces so I'm sensitive and emotional. Also I'm actually kinda happy about being on a tribe of 6 people. I NATURALLY gravitate towards Bianca. I know who Paul is cause he slipped up in the tribe chat. So I feel good :)
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OK SO i said i was retired but i adore logan and i wanna see what i can do without my baggage of the past that fukt me in ts all stars so phew. the people on my team seem chill, idk why but for some reason i get the feeling that theyre younger than me which doesnt make sense since im only 20 but anyway. I know that i type very specially and use phrases a lot so its gonna be hard to stop doing that bc if any of these people know me at all its gonna be a dead giveaway! 
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So I've spent all day at Disney World today and I finally get back to the hotel and come online to speak to my tribe.  No one has talked to me one on one yet so... yeah,  no idea.  I said in the main chat I just got off work and I checked online to see Chick-fil-a's hours to make sure my story checked out too. :* We'll see what happens, on to figuring out this challenge!
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First off: When I read this... Confess your sins, your dirty-dirty bad bads, your evil twisted thoughts here. It made me think of the dialogue in a bad porno. http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lthhgjZ1xY1qg39ewo1_500.gif Second off: I do quite enjoy the concept of this alias season. I like the idea of going into the game as a fresh face with a fresh personality and playing along with other people that I don't have any idea of. It kind of rekindles the fun that I have when I get to play in seasons with newbies. http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/excited-baby.gif Then, of course, I remember that these are not newbies so some of that fire loses a little oxygen. https://media.giphy.com/media/BmMU3LOfNMMeI/giphy.gif But, I'll try to convince myself that we're all playing for the first time. 
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So far I've noticed a few things about my tribemates. I don't think anything can be applied specifically to the individual given that I haven't really reached a stage to call people out... but, some of them are hung up on the fact that this a catfish season. When messaging them they tell me that it's awkward and when I tell them that the dog in my profile picture is my dog Donut they ask if it is "for real". I'm trying to play up this characters of Jenny for them because I thought that was the goal and I need these people to get on board. https://media.giphy.com/media/KGHtHISczyhHO/giphy.gif
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Wow, that last bit probably makes me come off as quite the rude person. Yikes! I need to get over myself a little. I get that easing ones self into a new situation can be challenging... sooo I'll give them a shot while continuing to respond to any and all questions and comments as Jenny would. http://replygif.net/i/440.gif
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So far I think my favorite people are Tanner, Kai, and Adelaide. I'd like to think I'd enjoy Wash as well but they went to bed shortly after starting communication with me. I don't think (so far as I know and god I hope not) that anyone has come up with a plan to ally yet so I'm just going to continue chatting to get my feelers in those waters. http://media1.giphy.com/media/BqHng2hpjOUdW/giphy.gif
Hopefully Jenny will appear charming enough to begin allying with these people. She needs some throats to slit later down the road and can only start to burn the bridges once she's built them - unfortunately!
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Alright, so I wanted to show my excitement at this game because I've played a real-life version called Tsuro with my friends where you are dragons and I'm hugely board game obsessed... but that's nowhere in Jenny's character and I don't feel like making any content about her up unless I absolutely have to! https://uberflip.cdntwrk.com/files/aHViPTIxOCZjbWQ9aXRlbWVkaXRvcmltYWdlJmZpbGVuYW1lPWl0ZW1lZGl0b3JpbWFnZV81NmQ4NDkzNzFjM2I0LmdpZiZ2ZXJzaW9uPTAwMDAmc2lnPTIxMTE0OTVlM2I1Y2M2NWVlYjMzOTE3OTcyMDExZmI0 Also, I was being truthful when I said the challenge is hard... like, I guess I'm having some difficulties processing the path or something because I keep crashing absurdly early. I'm hoping that by tomorrow when others have played it they will be able to talk me through getting a decent score so our tribe doesn't have to go and I won't have to face the possibility of being first boot (which is likely).
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Ok! So basically, Kat just asked me for an alliance??? It's legit night one like chill, but obviously I ain't gunna turn down an ally so i'll play along. I was like "OMG YAHHH I NEVER HAVE ALLIES ON SURVIVOR ORGS" hopefully that makes her think im like a 100% on board... in realist im like 40% on board. It's SHADee as FUCK to try and propose an alliance so early... Also, Giruga (or whatever) is legit annoying as fuck. I think ever sentence he has said thus far has the word "bro" in it? Like can you not be annoying as fuck for no reason... I get it is an alias season, but they dont give you no free pass to be as obnoxious as possible. Praying we win this challenge... hopefully get first because I could totally use a reward with possibility of an advantage in the game. GIMME THAT IDOL. If we do happen to lose I cant wait for the ugly bro culture of Giruga to be the first boot this season deserves.
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Honestly I love my tribe and everyone seem so nice  Not knowing who people really are is kinda crazy but I'll get use to it. 
That challenge was crazy and I'm glad it's almost over with. 
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I'm bored so I'm just gonna... make another confessional. What does this alias twist mean to me? I wanna be able to make the most of it and be able to play the game I'm never capable of playing as my real self. As who am actually am I suck at seperating emotion and strategy so I'm gonna try to be as emotionless as possible, which I actually think will be easy considering idk who anyone is....... except 2 people perhaps. Anyway time to flop at this challenge xoxox give me a good edit please
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i'm typing like gabby bc i don't wanna get out of practice. why is it that the only person that talks to me is misty? bianca i c that u're on and you don't respond to me you're the first person im gonna target. i swear i've sent a 'hey' message to every1 on my tribe and the only one that responded was MISTY.  then marco or whatever his name is hasn't even accepted my friend request yet... i see how it is.
Later...
I mean I figured we didn't do fantastic but losing by over half.... sucks.  a lot.  Misty and uh.... someone else just called Marco out for not accepting anyones friend request... maybe that means we can vote him out this round to ensure I stay. :) 
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https://youtu.be/NSE7BsDWti0
https://youtu.be/mn4vdHFOM88
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I forgot we were the Titus tribe but then I realized we got 2nd so I am very proud of my tribe! We did it yay!
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So we just got 2nd and are immune this week I'm so happy. Whoever gets voted out will be crazy bc no one wants to be first boot but the weakest should go!
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So, not only does Kat approach me as an alliance, but i just got approached by William and Layla, too? Damn I cant believe im winning this game :))) Anyway, supposedly Kat and William are ORG newbies? Not sure if that is a lie, but that doesnt shrink their targets by any means... Also thank the fucking survivor gods this Bro bitch aint on our tribe for the next 20 hours!!!! I hope he burns in the Devil's butthole along with his meninst culture.
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So UMMMM I'm gonna just spearhead this plan to get Marco out cause he hasn't spoken... at all. I'm not afraid to take control of my tribe at this point cause the inacts gotta go. Mattie/Gabby are both pretty active so I wanna work with them. Bianca's my goddess so I wanna work with her too. It sucks she got removed or else I would've formed a majority with them. Rn I'm telling everyone "If you watch out for me I'll do the same for you blah blah blah" and making deals w/ everyone because that's how I play! Let's hope it works out xoxoxo
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okay, i've been trying to be a super sleuth to figure out these identities...  I really think that Misty is really Nic.  Misty is from Georgia and Nic is from Georgia, and I think they are from around the same area.  Nic knows that I am from Georgia and now he knows that Gabby is from Georgia too so I hope he doesn't put it together, I think that I'm typing differently enough and I lowkey think he believes that whoever is behind Gabby really works at chick fil a because I've been doing my homework. I'm not sure who Mattie is yet, but I'm having a hard time NOT mentioning how much I love Glee because then I think people would obviously know who I am- or they would think that I'm Ashley Sarah, but Mattie was talking about Scream Queens and I desperately wanted to say I LOVE LEA MICHELE but I kept my cool. I lowkey think that Mattie might be Pippa though, they remind me of each other.   Everyone else....?  I still have no idea. 
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Not much has happened so far. I've talked to a few people but nothing has really moved forward. I was happy to go to the devil's hole, although I didn't end up finding anything. I'm glad I got a chance to meet people from the other tribes though. It was interesting to find out that they have people who haven't even spoken in tribe chat yet? That's crazy. Also it's fun to try to guess who's who. I mean, it's possible I don't even already know the people on my tribe, but it's still fun to try to figure out who they could be. I haven't really gotten there yet. Although I wonder if Alex Raine is a bit new to the community because he's a comp beast, yet he's showing it and making it obvious and making himself a target. I don't know, he seems cool and we've talked a bit, but come merge that could be tricky for him. In terms of alliances, there aren't any yet that I'm really aware of, but Jenny and Alex are the only ones I've talked to that much and I'd be happy to work with them, despite being a little nervous that Alex is a target. He's nice and hopefully his social game is as good as his physical.
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aaaaa  i got 378 score   aaaa
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Bye I'm going home today...  I'm shook at how fast this game started and I saw in the tribe chat that people were complaining that I hadn't added anyone yet but I didn't get any contact requests from any of them either hm!! Anyway unless I can pull myself out of the dirt somehow I'm totally screwed right now... im an easy target bc I was not here the first day and easy targets are always just easy to vote out the first week rip...
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Nothing really. I haven't acted on my plans of being an aggressive player this season, so maybe I'll adapt and get a new strategy going later. Good luck to me
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youtube
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Right now I feel like a mess because I keep forgetting to check skype and missing important stuff. But right now the general consensus according to Misty is to vote out Marco because he literally does not exist and hasn't added any of us. I love a good first round flop. I feel like if I start showing my fabulous personality I could have a good shot at surviving if we go to tribal again, however people might be weary of me now that I've gone to the Devil's Hole, even though I got nothing. Rob wouldn't even let me keep the rock. :'(
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I can't believe I'm pippa 
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these bitches are so bland and boring BYE
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Why did I make Kat so happy and grammatically correct all the time I'm so used to keyboard smashing like jsjsjahajak. I literally cringe every time I add an exclamation point like pls... settle down... I regret this so much nnnn. Anyways- The people I'm closest to rn are Dianna and William because we have an alliance. I'm also good with Giruga, but that's probably because he's such a talkative person-- and so is Dianna. It's really important for me to show my worth to these people so they don't target me because social players run the early premerge. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of that so far. I'm also playing it off like this is my first time playing an org, which will make me seem less threatening. I don't really know if that'll play off since we're all catfish, but I figure the more utr I am right now the better. 
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Well, I can't get into my Paul account so I'm probably being voted out. Peace ✌️ 
EP 1 EDGIC
http://prntscr.com/f4zaus
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