#A LEVELS ARE OVER FUCKING FINALLY

[lilydvoratrelundar]

FREEDOM

#A LEVELS ARE OVER FUCKING FINALLY #Guys dont do chem a level. The exams go on for e #Ever #lily dot tee ex tee

[artheresy]

I can’t stay quiet about this, I need to scream it to SOMEBODY ANYBODYYY

Dan Heng and Blade were Dan Feng and Yingxing. “Dh and Bld are Df and Yx!” Nope, their current selves aren’t them, that lacks nuance. “Dh and Bld aren’t Df and Yx!” THAT ALSO LACKS NUANCEE they are still connected and fundamentally shaped by their past identities, they aren’t entirely separate from them while also still being separate in a way. The best way I can describe it is like a venn diagram, there is overlap, but there also are still areas where they don’t.

To expand more, I wanna talk about the way they foil each other a bit in this sense. For Dan Heng, even if he is a botched rebirth, simply a “de-aged Dan Feng” not fully reborn, he is still not Dan Feng. While Dan Feng has made up the basis of his personality and he accepts him as his past, I think we forget that Dan Heng had his own entire childhood after the molting rebirth was completed. One he spent imprisoned by the Ten Lords Commission, and then he was exiled when he was old enough leading to his whole journey until he became apart of the Astral Express crew etc etc. Dan Heng is made up of a basis of Dan Feng + All of his own memories and experiences. While he shares traits with Dan Feng such as personality aspects like his stubbornness, his technique with a spear, and being able to connect with his old items, he also is very much himself with his own outlook and traits shaped by what he’s learned rather than what he has been born with. To treat him as if he is Dan Feng exactly is a disservice to both of their characters and the greater narrative that they apart of. He may still carry the burdens and karma of Dan Feng, but Dan Heng is still making his own future.

Now, Blade. Blade similarly is not Yingxing, not completely. Though he accepts Yingxing’s sin as his own and is intent of repaying the sin of Dan Feng and Yingxing (and getting Dan Heng to repay it too), there still are distinctions between him and Yingxing. In fact, I’d argue there are more things separating them. I could talk for so long again about the layered use of craftsmanship to connect, or rather disconnect, the two identities of Blade and Yingxing, but there’s more than that. “Now, ██ had died. His first — and only — death.” “From this moment on, that body will be the one and only "Blade."” Although Blade was Yingxing, a disconnect exists between them through the death of Yingxing. He awoke with no memories of his past, no even his name, until Jingliu came along, instilled in him her ideologies, made him remember, not only his past sins but the feeling of death so that he might inflict it onto others. As she said, he was reborn and had even given himself a name…

I want to add that the specific ways in which their current identities exist in proximity to their past ones foil each other. As I said, Dan Heng, in part as his sabotaged rebirth, is built upon the foundation of Dan Feng and all of his own experiences and memories. He has the capacity to gain back more memories of Dan Feng as his DH IL character stories outline, and though he is still himself and still moves forward, we see him accept his relation to Dan Feng eventually. Though that past life of his is clouded by fog and mist, he may eventually be able to push away the clouds that block him and understand more, about Dan Feng and in turn about himself. With Blade, it is so heavily emphasized in game from his relic lore to the very sword he uses that his mind is essentially broken, due both in part to the trauma of Jingliu’s “teachings” and the mara that was brought on by those lessons. He can’t fully remember everything about Yingxing, in fact actively remembering such or seeing familiar things is harmful to him. Like his shard sword, he is made of broken pieces, put together in a way that can never erase the cracks, and continuously shattering before being glued together again. His life is shaped by Yingxing’s past, the trauma he has endured is directly caused by his past actions. Unlike Dan Heng, he hasn’t had this whole life to build up and live. Though he’s experienced new things, they don’t shape him and change him in the way that Dan Heng’s built his identity up.

Where Dan Heng basically has supplements to Dan Feng’s identity that make him who he is, Blade is the broken shards and pieces of Yingxing that weren’t lost to the waves, making him who he is. Dan Heng is a next chance, finally free from the Preceptors’ control and of the role that stripped his past selves of their individuality, meanwhile Blade is the husk left behind of Yingxing’s regrets, broken by trauma caused due to Yingxing’s past actions, forever tormented by his past until he inevitably is able to die. If Dan Heng is more than just Dan Feng which is why he is separate but intertwined with him, than Blade is less than Yingxing, in a way that has caused such a severe disconnect that has caused Blade to have his own identity still shaped. And looking at this, not to again bring up my craftsmanship post about Blade, Dan Heng can connect to Dan Feng. He can clear the fog, remembering his memories through dreams even if he can’t fully connect emotionally to him, and he finds sentiment in many of items that once were his, smth not many Vidyadhara actually are capable of doing. To contrast, Blade is forever separated from connecting completely to Yingxing’s identity. His memories will always be fragmented, his own path entirely changed. He can’t connect to Yingxing’s past goals and passions, seen through the distinct decision made in his character stories to talk about how he can no longer use his hands to forge weapons (something that completely defined Yingxing’s life and legacy, tied to his childhood trauma and hatred of the Abundance, something that became his genuine passion), and how none of that mattered to Blade.

All of this, the ways they foil each other and the separation between their past selves and current, just makes me love their dynamic and their lore a lot. Makes me want to cry most days of my life if I’m honest. And it’s part of why I do take issue with the way nuance has completely left this argument, only having two extremes of “Dan Heng is Dan Feng!” Or “Dan Heng isn’t Dan Heng!” Again… Dan Heng WAS Dan Feng, he wouldn’t be Dan Heng without Dan Feng, but he is still himself. That’s part of the tragedy between them. They are still fundamentally defined and shaped by their past selves, similarities able to be spotted if they can be remembered, but they’ve also experienced so much that has changed them, and they can never truly go back to being Dan Feng and Yingxing. It would never be fully the same again.

#okay rant over #ahahahha #i hate seeing arguments about them #especially on tiktok this is unfortunately where i see the most nuance lost #i just needsd to rant #especially once my brain finally clicked how they foil each other in yet another element #that being ofc the supplement vs fragment style with their past selves #they make me insane #i hate them sm #(i love them way too much #they make me SICK #even if hyv has fucked up a bit in the actual quest writing at times #the sheer level of detail and care put into dan heng and blade’s lore is RAAAHH #i am having allergies #my leg pain is still awful today #and think about these two is only making my health worse HELP #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr blade #yingxing #dan heng #dan feng #renheng #hengren #xingyue #fengxing #I wrote this last night at 1 am but held off posting it until now o7

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The funniest thing about the Sohm Al dungeon is that when I did it for the first time I did it with the NPC party- Ysayle, Alphinaud, and Estinien. It was all going swell but I, a dragoon main, CONSTANTLY found myself trying to outdo Estinien??

like GIRL calm down he's just an NPC 😭 what's he gonna do, gloat about how he's going to kill all the dragons and pull out all the stops and use all the limit breaks?

...

HE FUCKING USES THE LIMIT BREAKS

THE LITTLE SHIT

AS SOON AS WE FILL ALL THE BARS HE JUST SAYS SHIT LIKE "TASTE MY LANCE" AND WHIPS OUT THE LIMIT BREAK AND I'M THROWING MYSELF HEADFIRST INTO THE GROUND SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU BASTARD I WAS GOING TO USE THAT ON THE FINAL BOSS

#no i did not actually die to the final boss im just being melodramatic #anyway temporary friendship with estinien is OVER #i cant believe i have to go through the Estinien Unbearable Varlineau arc before i get babygirl estinien #this motherfucker..... so fucking flashy all the time.... bitch i have more moves than you........ #it's only because of the level sync that sets me down a few skill levels otherwise i would be decimating this entire dungeon by myself #WITHOUT MR STINKY DRAGOON FUCKING IT UP !!!!!!!!!!!! #save me ysayle..... save me..... ysayle save me #but other than that i am genuinely having so much fun in heavensward. i love the little group we've made #ysayle and estinien at each other's throats <3 alphinaud trying to keep them from killing each other <33 wol just standing around #estinien varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #ffxiv #ffxiv wol #ff14 #ff14 art #hyur midlander #hyur #elezen #artoftheagni #agnigames

[fayevalcntine]

The whole "Claudia is now his sister"/Louis' sibling comparisons are never gonna sit right with me because that's never going to erase the fact that Claudia exists as a vampire partly because of him. Their relationship will never have this clearly defined role of siblings in the same manner Louis had with Grace or Paul, even if he was their older brother and was implicitly given the role of providing for them as the successor and manager of his family's estate. Because Louis was never responsible in part for their creation, the reason why they existed the way that they do in terms of behavior and life itself.

It also makes his betrayal of her all the more heartbreaking in ways that him and Grace drifting apart never will. He was her father, and didn't provide emotional support for her. She had to turn the tables and try to assume the role of being on an equal level because of this failure but this doesn't make him not choosing her any less painful than it did the first time. Even as they shift roles, take or give emotional responsibility one has towards the other, the fact that Claudia exists the way she does because of him and Lestat will always be there.

#interview with the vampire #claudia #louis de pointe du lac #it's why in a way Lestat's whole 'I am your maker' rant is relevant #not in terms of him trying to keep his veil of control over her #but in terms of how no matter how she tries to shift positions; switch roles #put on the costume of 'sister/companion/mother/knight' #she will always be on a lesser position than him or even Louis #because THEY are her parents #even on a physical level she's technically weaker because she's in the body of a teenager #her given role of daughter will never be shed; especially when both of them took to physically abusing her #and tbh I personally don't like acting as if Claudia having to take on the role of Louis' protector/therapist/sister #is a positive thing in any way #it's basically his own child being forced by circumstances to be the adult #and it's such a fucked up dynamic to me #i'm not saying Louis is responsible for that because he had his own issues and then there's Lestat who acerbates the whole situation #but consider it from Claudia's angle: she keeps Lestat away from Louis for SIX years #then Louis takes him back; and even tells her to get used to it and to try to be more open with her own abuser #all the while Claudia gives him nothing but understanding and time; pleads with him to run away together #i can't even start on how his betrayal of her after the attempted murder is not only the final nail of the coffin #but the only result she gets after emotionally supporting him throughout this entire situation #anyway no offense to anyone that makes Claudia/Grace/Paul edits in relation to Louis #it's just that even without the ep7 reveal the whole thing feels sour to me in episode 6 #because that is very much not his sister/brother protecting him; that's his daughter #Claudia should not have to do this shit on her own; she should not have to assume another role just to be considered seriously #in any way by either Louis or Lestat

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im finally going through my stuffed animals to choose which ones to donate (most of them. ive been putting this off for a long time ahaha sobs) and each webkinz i put in the box kills me inside

#THE GUILT IS EATING ME ALIVE #both a betrayal to them & my younger self #who would burst out sobbing at the mere notion of parting with a single one #and swore to themself that they'd never willingly say goodbye to any of their plushie friends #im trying to do it quickly and unemotionally but man. Man.... #clinging to my mangled toothless plush like it has any life left in it #GODDDD AND ALL THE WEBKINZ #when i was little i fucking collected them. i was obsessed. id play the online game for hours and diligently add each toy i got #some of them im not sure i can part with... #like milk the cow... dinner the turkey... white fang the husky... orchard the dragon... #ice cream the polar bear... strawberryblast the horse... kevin the bloogaloo or whatever the fuck it is... #why yes i do still remember most of my stuffed animals' names. which is making this infinitely harder #'sorry lovemuffin. sorry ellie. sorry momma dolphin. sorry snakey' etc etc #im keeping the ones with the most emotional value #like High emotional value. devastation to say goodbye level value #this box is Not Small and its still gonna get filled up.... #i havent donated or thrown away a single one in all of my years #eating glassssssss #absolutely unprompted #but it needs to be done!! i finally have a moving date! the uhaul will Be Here in like! just over two weeks! #and i've barely packed Anything!!! its crunch time babey! #its emotional turmoil of a different flavor babey!!! #now if yall will excuse me i will sit here and reminisce #of long past nights sneakily spent awake to play with my stuffed animals #oh the stories i would give them... #cooking shows... assassinations and resurrections... broken marriages.... betrayals... #white fang & milk you were my most iconic couple fr fr #badass lone wolf (husky) / easygoing sweetheart cow.... #OHHHHH THIS IS KILLING ME ITS KILLING ME #gonna go purposefully choke on my leftovers i stg-

[morrigan-sims]

i am not a woman, i'm a god

I think I did a pretty good job bringing her to life in the sims!!! I wanna make a full-on edit with her, but this was plenty for tonight.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 CAS #ts4 CAS #adventures in cas #my sims #cas #areelu #areelu p:wotr #pathfinder wrath of the righteous areelu #p:wotr #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #fandom sims #god I love this woman so fucking much #I finally understand all you people who get attached to non-companion NPCs from bg3. #seriously tho. If you like BG3 go play p:wotr!!!! You won't regret it. #I'm over 70 hours in and not even 2/3rds of the way done with the game. A true completionist run can apparently take 200 hours. #and the characters are amazing the story is incredible #the mythic path system blows my socks off. It's so unique and awesome and I wish more games had something like it #AND it goes all the way to level 20 #it's based off the pathfinder rulesystem which is in some ways similar to dnd but different in others. #and this sexy lady is in it!!!! #also: being evil is ***actually*** a viable path in this game. #you don't lose out on any content by being evil. you can choose your alignment and in just about every conversation there's evil options. #also lawful and chaotic ones. #hell you can literally become a lich or a demon and go full-throttle evil. #this game is so fucking amazing and in some ways I think it's actually better than bg3. #but I know a lot of people here like bg3 for the aesthetic elements (mods + character customization + stunning visuals) #so those people probably won't care about p:wotr. #but if you're like me and you like playing RPGs based on tabletop systems and you like interesting stories then you should totally play.

[strawberrybabydog]

psychosis sucks man people will be like "aww i support you, you can be honest with me ♡" and then you tell them you know they're an NPC and they get over-pissed (which just tells me im right lol) and ur like. ohhh so you actually CANT handle my honesty. ooohh kaayy. and then you have to cope with losing the infinitesimal support system you had

#like no offense but if its not your reality why are u getting so pissed LOL ?????? #ur allegedly not the one who has to deal with knowing ur loved one is an NPC and not a real human person #but yeah ok its sooooo hard being you. its sooooooooooooooooooo hard being the one who isnt in psychosis #i fucking hate everyone other than me dude like imagine a delusional person opening up to you Finally after Years and your reaction #your actual live slug reaction is to confirm their delusion and then yell at them because you personally are offended by a fucking delusion #nonpsychotics get the fuck over yourself challenge level impossible #if ur nonpsychotic and someone tells u theyre delusional and u get like. offended and pissed. fuck you. go fuck yourself #not dog #personal #delusions #on sanism #paranoid delusions details #simulation delusions details #delusions details #medium feelings

[carefulfears]

mulder and diana literally have the most intense divorced energy anyone could ever have...they have the chemistry of two people who've been married for decades and maybe don't wanna be married anymore, maybe aren't married anymore, but once you're married you're grandfathered in. you're always married. haven't touched each other in years, go most days not even considering the other, but owe each other something, and aren't sure of what it is. diana lies and lies and lies to his face, and then dies to save him. she feels entitled to him, she knows what's best for him, what's his is theirs. always. she was there when he got it. she helped him build it. (she tells him herself: "don't forget that"). so much of what she does appears as she's trying to establish a claim over him, but she doesn't have to try. she just is. she's irreproachable. you don't talk about the wife. (and you don't talk to her, as scully and diana arguing is met only with mulder's impatient, "scully...scully...scully.")

any time she comes up in conversation, his friends are uncomfortable. i love the way byers goes "well....yeah?" when scully asks if he knows diana. he says it like he's surprised that scully didn't know about her. when scully won't stop pressing mulder about diana in one son, all three of the boys tense up. the camera keeps going to their reactions. (you don't talk about the wife. they were there. "i always wondered why they split up.")

scully says "special agent diana fowley" as though maybe if she had one more title to throw in, she would disappear. diana says "fox" like she has something to prove. mulder says "diana" like it communicates everything he doesn't say. and in a way, it does. the first time scully heard him call agent fowley "diana," she knew.

#just because it isn't warm doesn't mean dd and mimi rogers didnt have chemistry #they have the chemistry of two people who played a married couple in a movie that ends with religiously motivated murder/suicide #they have cold ancient unsettling chemistry #watch any scene between the two of them and tell me it doesn't feel exactly like your parents silently moving through the house. saying #what they aren't saying #txf.txt #diana #the direction and camera placement in 'one son' frames scully as SO small #especially in that argument scene #they filmed it from mulder's eyeline/perspective #whereas typically scully's side would've been shot at her level (over his shoulder) or they would've put her on the box #but it's set up to where she is so small in front of him. and she FEELS small. and she is small. she's disadvantaged. #and it isn't fair. because where the fuck was diana? does having started it count more than following through? does having been there first #when gibson said that scully doesn't worry about what ANYONE thinks. 'except for her.' #what diana thinks matters. she's this looming figure with so much influence. and she IS irreproachable. #he won't let a word be said about her. she won't let anyone else have final say over him. #and more than anything else that's why i think they were married. more than the wedding ring in flashback episodes. more than the tension #they have this territoriality that feels very specific to divorce

[kayvsworld]

i always forget i have Healthcare System Anxiety until i have to interact with The Healthcare System and immediately just start screaming internally for days

#my mom obliterated her bones and the pre-surgery surgery post-surgery experience. the ER situation. moving 2 the woods #this is a vent post i forget my complaining tag #waited 30 mins for an ambulance & when we called back they were like ''yeah it hasnt been assigned to anyone & might be hours'' #so i drove her to the ER with a migraine & ran over some pylons (cool). #stuck in the ER for 9 hours. took 4 hours for anyone to give her any kind of pain management. i caught covid #was supposed to get a call when she was out of her 2 hrs max surgery. was told i could call if i hadn't heard anything #5 hours later i called and was transferred 6 times - told she had been discharged - told she had never been registered at that hospital - #yelled at by a nurse for asking for patient information - eventually got the right department and was told oh yeah sorry she's in recovery #was supposed to find out if she could come home or not in 30 mins. 3 hours later theyre like OK come get her #i show up and the doors to that wing are. locked? and no one's there to unlock them? #apparently i was supposed to pick up the wall phone? and call a code they hadn't given me? spent 30 mins getting help from other department #to GET THEM TO OPEN THE DOORS. FREE HER RELEASE HER #finally i get in and she's OK SHES FINE except morphine doesn't work on her so that's. fine. bodies are good to have #we have reached shrimp colours levels of anxiety i am a walking talking stress migraine but she's doing ok. but holy fuck #kayvswords #also like she's black and all of her nurses and doctors have been white so feeling normal about all of it all around

[xhanisai]

I am so, SO happy that I'm seeing more people on twitter defending Alya and talking about how SOME people have done Marinette dirty in s5 and how said snakey characters continue to get their feet kissed by the fandom and have their actions blamed on "bad writing uwu"

There is a reason why the only characters I give a shit about are Marinette, Adrien, Alya, Nino, Tom, Sabine and kwamis atm

Many people need to understand that their fave characters aren't affected by "bad writing". They're just shit people in general sometimes lol.

#delete later #i will not put this in the main tags #i havent had the chance to talk to anyone about this but I'm so glad to see that I'm not alone with the same thought process #all i will say is that if I had a secret where if exposed could put myself and all my loved ones in danger #and someone i assumed was a good friend finds out #and instead of talking to me about it #they go blabbing to someone who put me and my loved ones in immediate danger cos of their selfish misguided whims and allowed the enemy to #get the upper hand over us #WE WOULD NO LONGER BE FRIENDS #I WOULD CUT THEM OUT OF MY LIFE #FUCK THAT SHIT #HIGHEST LEVEL OF BETRAYAL #and if i were to finally get with the boy I loved for a loooong time #only for said friend to constantly bitch about how he won't do anything and and being sour about it #and choosing to believe some random bitch who lied about me and using said lies to point fingers at me to justify why I shouldn't be with #the boy #yeah man that's one SHITE friend #YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND #i have actually been STEAMING about this for a little while since s5 ended #obviously if you connect the pieces then congrats well done #this isn't to attack anyone who stans these characters I really despise now #in fact i don't care if you love these characters or not #i am just so tired of seeing this hypocritical dumbass fandom constantly undermine alya and paint her as a bad person #when she's been the BESTEST friend she could have ever been DESPITE her flaws and mistakes #all whilst hyping up ALL THE CHARACTERS WHO HAVE DONE MARINETTE DIRTY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER #god i have been so stupidly mad about this it is hilarious now that I look at it #anyways alya deserves better and no one is a better bestie than her and chat noir for maribug #seethe you fucking fools

[skitskatdacat63]

Please god, can someone give me the strength to write ANOTHER 900 word essay in German, I DON'T WANNA I DONT WANNA PLEASE NO

#disliking this course more than i thought i would #oh yes german linguistics!!! okay!!! sure i love that!!! #and then my grade is dependent on literally only writing assignments #i actually want to die. this brings me soooooooo much fucking pain #i just really despise the whole idea of it #you put a bunch of people in one class with differing skill level #and then make them all write 900 word essays in a language theyre not 100% on yet #and the content is soooo much just him rambling in class IN GERMAN ! #and not all of it is on the slides so fuck if i remember #and even if i did remember its so much me trying to focus on catching what hes saying than actually absorbing it #and the topic even if i was writing in english would make me struggle #and you guys know!! im great at rambling!! BUT NOT AUF DEUTSCH #and then. when you finally finish slaving over this fucking disaster of a paper #you submit it. and his only comment is just: sehr gur gemacht. #yeah why the fuck would i feel the need to burn myself like this + #only to get feedback that feels like he only looked at the word count and nothing else #like not even going to correct my grammer or???? what am i learning other than writing the same kind of bs sentences over and over #i despise word count essays btw #youre not really writing for quality youre writing for quantity #bcs if the only real outline you get is that you hit the word count then why do i give any shit about the quality of it #like i submitted a paper for my other class and she gave like 100+ edits on it #not only comments but also grammer correction #and like????? why do i not get that from the class that is teaching me a foreign fucking language #yeah sure its not bad to correct the grammar of your first language but cmon my god please help me a bit or smth #but yeah its due on Wednesday and i just think im going to fucking die before then #choking on my stress tears or smth #as i said it would be fine if it felt like he was actually checking them in depth #but i hate assignments where im only doing it for the grade. like i actually want to uhhh learn yknow??????? #but yes i need someone to cheerlead me on or smth bcs itll take so much resolve to not just give up #and i wont give up bcs i want to keep my gpa but thats exactly thr issue isnt it? that i dont care about the content?

[brittlebutch]

bill and ted and their efforts in education is something thats So Important to me - they really do want to learn and find new things soo interesting, its just that traditional teaching methods fail them. even stuff they love (music) took them so long to learn !!!! which is something i feel like ppl miss a lot. choosing to learn smthn that is difficult and has a steep learning curve is actually So Hard and frustrating and bill and ted actually put in so much effort to learn!! and ofc it works out (they win battle of the bands, become famous, save the world etc) but i feel like they wouldve worked at it even if they never met rufus and all that bc they approach life with such genuine earnestness. which is a trait i admire so much and they make me so happy :)

yes dude you absolutely hit the nail on the head!!! i love love love that Bill and Ted don't make it through any of the movies thanks to any kind of special skill or innate talent, they manage to make it through just because they're so affable and enthusiastic that people around them (even some who would have reason to actually dislike them) just can't seem to help but be taken with them and decide to help them out - no perpetuating the myth of independence anywhere!!

and you're so right about the time travel probably not being strictly Necessary in their development like, their audition at the beginning of Bogus Journey isn't very good but it's still technically way more musical than their garage jam sessions were in Excellent Adventure! (You could argue that's just the Princesses carrying the sound, which is probably true to an extent, BUT I don't think that's it entirely bc there's not any discordant distortion-noise like there was in EA and parts of the melody do seem to cut out when Bill and Ted pause playing to speak) So they were learning and improving between movies, it's just that they're naturally kind of slow at it AND they've also probably not been able to focus on learning all that well bc they're working full time and struggling financially - once they take like a year and a half outside of time to practice nothing but guitar they're able to show off some serious musical acumen, and THEN i love how Face the Music shows how even though they've both gotten pretty Technically skilled at a huge variety of instruments, they're still 'bad at it' bc they struggle to write music that other people enjoy/understand and they still aren't overly bothered by that at all!

Also love that the same applies to Billie and Thea - they seem to have a much easier time of things than their dads do wrt learning/innate skills BUT they're still 24 and haven't moved out or gone to college or gotten jobs or anything and no one (other than Chief Logan ofc) puts them down or admonishes them for this! They're both loved and supported wholeheartedly by their parents (who OFC understand it all completely) and they make it through the movie the same exact way Bill and Ted did! Even though Billie and Thea do rely on a more-than-solid grasp of musical history to navigate the circuits of time, their ability to sway the historical figures to their cause largely thanks to their enthusiasm for the topic and general affability and i love how that's always upheld by the movies as a Valued Trait i love it SO much

#i also lovve how bill and ted were originally thought of as like Complete outcasts in high school who were like Actively disliked #by more popular kids and the writers and director saw the energy that the actors brought to the characters and were like 'oh no way' #and cut the notion entirely bc they're just SO affable that they were like 'well maybe no one especially Likes them but no one probably #Dislikes them that much' and so it was scrapped; but i love them so much like you even get the sense that Mr. Ryan is Aware that #bill and ted are Trying to put genuine effort into school bc he doesn't talk at them like 'if you just applied yourselves' or like they're #fucking around in class on purpose he just tries to level with them and seems at least a Little upset that he'd have to flunk them #bc he just doesn't have the time/resources as a teacher to help them out like they'd need ; and like it's not even like in EA #they're ONLY piggybacking off the historical figures to carry the report - their voice over throughout the montage is proof that they were #actively paying attention and learning stuff about the dudes as they were hanging around throughout the movie - like finally learning #how to pronounce 'socrates' and identifying joan of arc as a military leader and stuff - it's just that they have like #learning/intellectual disabilities and struggle like hell in traditional learning environments; i love them SO much they're SO important 2m #bnt

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first three are written in Hindi. The fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Tamil there, much less any other South Indian language. Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely #BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY #THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK #genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless #put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well #you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour #and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before #because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from #bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level #think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!! #pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide #he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up #it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose #if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people #because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful #that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!! #anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf #pavitr prabhakar #spider man #spider man india #desi #desiblr #atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv pavitr #indian culture #india #desi tumblr #what the fuck do i tag this as #agnirambles

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

late Carlo and Moretti (during vinci-moretti war) are like Luca and Clemente to me. Moretti will never raise his hand on Carlo but! will he drive him into guilt in ways that are not direct? insult him in passing? convince Carlo that he's doing everything wrong, when in fact it's the opposite? of course such a painful kick to Carlo's ego, it's unfair, he doesn't deserve it. and it's not a father-son relationship, it's a professional relationship and he can't say anything back & defense himself in any way maybe Moretti's more favorable to Eddie in this period because he's more blindly loyal and Carlo feels he's about to explode

#^ i wrote it before that hounds thing but its about all this anger was once love etc #carlo who is a capo who has done so many terrible things for this place watching how eddie gets bonus points for blind loyalty: 😐 #and it's not even that he's a capo it's that carlo says the right things but moretti dismisses him every time #also ok😬😬😬my truth! is that eddie really was against killing moretti at first #and when he finally decides to support carlo well. is it just a change of master? (yes) #m2 #moretti family #and! #as far as i understand Moretti's murder took place just a few days before his victory? fucked up thing #i mean. it just makes Carlo an even shitty man. he chose himself over the majority #(i can't think about any war theme on a physical level at this point so. i have only abstract thoughts on this) #but objectively: moretti family may have gained control of the vinci family's territory of influence etc #instead they got a young crazy don. and everyone was alright w it (?!makes me think for what reason) #which is why i think there's been something wrong with Moretti in his last yrs. he looks much older thank frank n leo #for now he's just an old man stubbornly clinging to power to me. but not to say that i worked on his character much #i think he became weaker hypochondriacal and paranoid towards the end. “i saw his hands trembling” carlo bout moretti etc #“akela missed his kill!” and the young wolves tore him apart #ewwwwwwwwwww no Carlo who sees Moretti growing weaker and instinctively his teeth are bared more and more ewww #kill the weak and old so the young can survive😬😬 (fucked up thing is that they aren't animals they would survive w moretti in charge) #spoiled hounds parallel makes things so much complicated tbh. but it feels right

[theeblackmedusa]

Attuma riding a mechanical bull. That's it. That's all.

#just...work with me here #attuma on a mechanical bull and he's got so much control #okoye controlling it and constantly upping the intensity just to watch them hips at work #attuma doesn't get thrown off and just keeps smirking up at her and daring her to take it to the next level #okoye taking it to top speed and seeing the way his bicep flexes when he raises his hand to keep his hat from falling off #when he finally dismounts she ends up bent over a bathroom counter with his hips being put to better use #he definitely puts that hat on her head and fucks her while she wears it #he doesn't let her take it off when they leave the bathroom either #theeblackmedusa🐍🐍

[msommers]

can't sleep. plagued with the thought of riya being capable of summoning a storm cloud to zap darkspawn for a full hour each day and how sickening that is for the 10 day long battle at val foret

#technically i can't sleep in general and these are the thoughts i'm keeping myself entertained with #if she uses every 3rd/4th level spell slot + her arcane recovery it's an hour of frying darkspawn #and i think that's kinda sexy as hell and v fun of her #i fucking love mages it's just so cool to picture i'm going more insane about it w each passing moment #sure she does other stuff but i imagine at least a few days of this would have been put to use bc it's so effective #can only imagine the absolute drain of energy that would be on a mage. oof #someone make sure she doesn't fall off the battlement once the final cast is over lmfao #this is also?? a good spot for the training of not relying on a staff for casting to start kicking in #anyway.....riya hot. magic sexy. darkspawn die. profit #campaign: the vigilant #ch: valeriya de clairmont