#...but it also isn't inherent to identifying as trans. dysphoria of any kind can make people desperate for any escape...

[uncanny-tranny]

People who compare transition to self harm or use real people they know who've self-harmed as a metaphorical comparison to transitioning aren't making the gotcha they think they're making - they're just showing that they don't have the compassion or maturity to engage with either topic at even a conversational level.

And, frankly, it's infuriating as a person who does see those who self-harm as my equal who doesn't need to be used as a cudgel against another group of often vulnerable people.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #and as someone who has self-harmed AND transitioned it's been inherently different. it's not a comparison #and if you wonder why so many trans people have engaged in self harm: social factors. family. abuse. mistreatment #mine stemmed from unrelated abuse largely and also because i wasn't being treated well #absolutely unresolved dysphoria in trans people can inspire that - i know that already. ask me how (don't)... #...but it also isn't inherent to identifying as trans. dysphoria of any kind can make people desperate for any escape... #...and you help them by allowing them space and giving them tools that empower *them*... #...like for me the second a huge part of my dysphoria resolved through transition i was able to start actually fucking LIVING #because for all my life i'd been only able to operate at 50% at most. and now it's more like 80-90% just after transition

[rollercoasterwords]

do you think it’s possible to experience some level of gender dysphoria without being nonbinary or trans? it’s weird but i always feel like i exist within the space between being a girl and nonbinary.

feel like there's a lot 2 unpack here but. short answer yeah long answer i don't think it's useful 2 thing of gender in terms of some strict divide between cis&trans as like. ontologically discrete categories of being so much as social labels that signify general groupings of experience & how an individual relates to & moves through the world. like the division between "cis" & "trans" is primarily useful, imo, for discussing broader systems of power at play & the forms of privilege different people might have access to, but a "cis" person's gender is just as socially constructed & contingent as a trans person's bc nobody is born w some internal physical kernel of gender identity that just magically manifests as they grow older (imo).

so w that in mind, if we're defining "gender dysphoria" here as any kind of discomfort w an assigned gender, then i don't see why people who would otherwise label themselves as "cis" couldn't experience some level of gender dysphoria. many cis people are uncomfortable w the various trappings of gender & navigate that discomfort in different ways--some might end up identifying as trans, some might identify as cis but gender non-conforming, some might just keep id'ing as cis...bc again, there is not like. this stark, inherent divide between trans & cis experiences; there can be overlap & crossover, etc. what an individual chooses to label themself really just comes down to how they personally end up navigating their gender, and there's no right or wrong way to go abt that. i guess the flipside of this question is that someone could say any amount of gender dysphoria means a person is trans (w trans here as a broad umbrella category signifying someone who doesn't fit neatly into their agab), which...i mean, sure, but again, i think plenty of people who would otherwise be considered "cis" aren't just magically embodying their agab either, so ig i don't really see the use in quibbling over who can or cannot experience gender dysphoria, or like...what "counts" as gender dysphoria. i think it makes more sense 2 just acknowledge that all gender is constructed & let each individual evaluate their own experiences in deciding how they wanna label themselves.

that being said, if ur asking this question bc ur agonizing over whether 2 label urself cis or nb bc u feel like u aren't like..."trans" enough. my advice is 2 just say who cares & use whatever label best fits ur experience. or just don't use a label at all! there isn't some standard or checklist u have 2 meet 2 label ur gender a certain way, y'know? and ur experience of gender might change throughout the course of ur life anyway, bc again, it's not like...a fixed kernel of truth u can unearth from ur psyche like buried treasure. also, u might find marquis bey's cistem failure a helpful read; they get into the weeds on this much better than i can in a single answer on tumblr.com lol

#ask

[genderqueerdykes]

Hello! (Sorry for my English, I'm using a translator to write this XP) I really love your posts and they really helped me sort out my feelings in a lot of ways (including as a trans man), but I still have a lot of doubts. I like to think and talk about myself as a man, but at the same time I do not have severe gender dysphoria, and when I think about starting my transition, I am tormented by huge doubts, as if I am afraid to regret my decision, but at the same time I like to imagine myself as a man and I very often regret that I was not born a man (like I would like to have a penis and get rid of this annoying breast). I seem to have a special idea of ​​what kind of man I should be, and if I don’t be exactly that, then my life will be destroyed. I have read a lot about how male hormones affect the body of trans guys and I am afraid to face the negative consequences of the transition (for example, baldness, I am very attached to my long hair and I am afraid of losing it), I am afraid that I will become ugly and only cripple my body . I'm scared that I'll never be a full-fledged man. Can you please tell more about how you felt when you first started to accept yourself as a trans man, it would help me a lot :)

hello!

dysphoria is not required to be any type of trans person.

it is normal to have doubts at first when questioning one's gender, i think it's good that you've figured out that you definitely perceive yourself as male and enjoy doing so, that is honestly the most important part of the experience. fear and anxiety creep in and make us second guess ourselves but the truth is honestly more simple than we feel

fortunately testosterone doesn't make anyone "ugly" or "crippled" and many of the effects of testosterone in the body "revert" back to how it was before if the person is not taking testosterone for a substantial amount of time (1.5 years+). please be careful when sending other people asks like this, this belief is radfem/terf rhetoric, and it's best to undo that thinking and understand that testosterone is a hormone that exists in all of our endocrine systems regardless of agab- every person has both estrogen and testosterone in their bodies at all times, and not one hormone or the other makes someone ugly or bad- there is nothing inherently bad about testosterone, or high testosterone bodies.

please remember when sending me asks like this that i was born in a high testosterone body and HRT helped and affected my body secondarily, not primarily- it is taken to augment my body's naturally high T levels. this line of thinking makes me feel super alienated from the transmasculine community and awkward, which is partially why i primarily identify as a trans woman and struggle to identify as a trans man anymore.

it's normal to fear balding, every transmasc and trans man i've ever met has feared baldness, myself included, but baldness isn't a guarantee, it's just 1 possible side effect amongst many. you are not guaranteed to go bald and you are able to do testing to see if you are genetically more likely to. also, if you do begin to bald, it is not the end of the world, as there are lots of medications that treat balding and your endocrinologist will be aware of these risks when starting you on testosterone HRT, so you will have advanced access to this type of care

if you don't want to go on T, you don't have to, that is not a requirement for being a trans man or transmasculine person. it is up to you to decide if that's appropriate for you. if you don't go on hormones and decide to socially transition and decide you don't like being seen as a man after all, then you didn't do any harm to anyone or anything, you didn't irreparably change anything, or anything like that. there's no harm in doing a trial run of an identity without hormones if you want to test the waters and see how it feels

if you like the positives of T and are only really concerned about baldness, i would say that it sounds like testosterone could be a good choice for you. i think it's best to weigh the pros and cons and if balding is the only real con you are concerned about, it may be worthwhile to talk to a doctor in your area

it's very normal to have these types of fears and to question yourself, it's healthy to do so, and most people go through a very long questioning period before trying out the identity they feel they are. it works best for some to go by that identity online for some time, then come out to irl friends, then progress from there, dressing how you want to in public, etc. it's up to you to decide, but overall, you sound like you have a very normal trans man experience. it's okay to not want to go on T and to not have dysphoria. that is one of the most common expressions of trans manhood i come across, actually

i hope this helps, take care, good luck in your journey, hope you are able to figure things out and do what's right for you. you deserve the time to figure yourself out above all else

#asks #answers #transmasculine #transmasc #trans man #trans men #trans boy