#*wario voice* you want fun? Wario show you fun! >:D

[a-vampire-culturelover]

Apollo- Another EmpressxMoon Oneshot >:)

“Couldn’t lunch be a bit less squirming?” Empress complained as she finished off the human with a dagger. She had stalked up on the poor thing, ripped it's animal hat away and attempted to hypnotize them, only for said prey to pull out a dagger and attempt to kill her. Luckily, this one had been susceptible to hypnotism, and quickly put an end to their games as she dug fangs into the human and finished them off quickly. The nasty stab wound that littered her arm said otherwise about it being a success, the sting lingering mere minutes after she had drained the human dry. Luckily she had Moon for that. The shorter vampire was quite skilled in healing others due to her lack of needing to do so for herself; self-healing came with some perks, but she was better off at least knowing how to fix injuries or keep the Ill safe when she did not need to for her own good. Speaking of Moon, she had quickly made her way through the foliage to her taller friend, giving a concerned look to the wound on Empress’s arm.

“You ought to be more careful while hunting, Empress. I grow tired of seeing you littered with cuts and injuries from hunts. Maybe next time take a minion so they can take the fall if needed.” Moon scorned her, earning a huff from Empress. She would have if it weren’t for them constantly asking her what she needed, or just doing her bidding obnoxiously. ‘At least Moon doesn’t act all bananas like them’, she thought. The two hurried back to the camp where The Vampire King’s court had settled, Hierophant bickering to an underling about something probably unimportant. Empress sat down and stuck out her arm for treatment as Moon stimmed her fingers to the tune of music being played, gettin a bit distracted before pulling out bandages. Empress’s legs had similar injuries compared to the one against her arm, due to two hunters attempted to kill her without realizing that trying to stake her feet wouldn’t work, to which they died pitifully for thinking as such. At least Moon was there to bandage them up and be there for her. Moon had always been a bit close to her since she was turned, like a puppy cowering under its mothers fur for warmth and safety. As she began to disinfect the wound, earning a sting from Empress, she asked one question that got her attention. ”What were you like before you got turned? Not that I care I just, you know, you and your old-school fool of a brother are much more mysterious compared to me or The Fool; aside from The King, whatever the hell he has going on behind those gears of his.” She asked, trying to hope Moon didn’t hear the interest or curiosity in her voice.

“It’s…difficult to look back on. I cannot say I remember what it was like before becoming a vampire, other than pain my father inflicted on me.” ”Your father hurt you?..” Empress jotted up, hissing in pain as Moon held her arm in place, going to get bandages to wrap it neatly in.

“Yes. He experimented with my power of self-healing and abandoned me after getting results. It took years before I ever say Hierophant again, and ever since then I cling to whoever I can hoping they won’t leave me.” Moon explained, looking down in sorrow. Empress felt empathy for her, knowing what it was like to be hurt and then abandoned to rot away in the alleys of her old village, the times before she had met Moon or her little snake friend, who hissed happily as he wrapped around her snug.

“I was abandoned too. My parents just up and left me to starve in those alleys and never came back for when they said they would. Either that or they died, can’t be sure anymore now that’s it’s been years. At least I’ve got FP here.” She petted the little snake with her finger as he gave a mean glare to Moon, holding a grudge on her for when he was flicked away in annoyance by the shorter. Moon rolled her eyes at him as she finished the wrappings, Empress’s arm perfectly safe. The two continued to talk about different things, like Empress realizing maybe she didn’t like guys that way all that much, or just about things Moon enjoyed, Empress listening to ever word as Moon rambled on about her knowledge of medicine and herbs; particularly Cannabis Santiva, for some reason.

Moon then came up to her and gave a small kiss on the cheek, wandering off and blushing as red as a blood moon. Empress, taken aback, heard a annoyed hiss from her little snake friend, earning a scolding from Empress as she carried on.

If only she knew how she really felt. Oh well, she’d come around eventually ;).

@mistress-chaos

#*wario voice* you want fun? Wario show you fun! >:D #adventure time stakes #adventure time #adventure time the moon #adventure time the empress #empressxmoon #empress x moon

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

The Corruption of Kirby

*Our scene starts in the halls of the Smash Mansion. Ness and Jeff are walking down the hallway, already in mid-conversation*

Ness: So wait, you're saying that all of Kirby's end bosses ... ARE Kirby?

Jeff: That's right. Or rather, every end boss is a potential end result for a member of Kirby's species, if not Kirby himself.

Ness: But ... how is that possible?

Jeff: Well, it IS only a theory, but there is a lot of evidence to support it. For example ...

*Jeff's voice trails off as they wander down the hall out of sight. Meanwhile, Ganondorf steps out from behind a corner, revealing that he heard everything.*

Ganondorf: Interesting ...

*Several hours later, at the League's lair*

Ganondorf: Alright gentlemen, we're putting all plans to defeat Kirby on hold for now. Our new plan: We are going to corrupt the puffball and turn him into our own unstoppable eldritch abomination to use against the heroes.

*Ganondorf slaps some files onto the table.*

Ganondorf: I've assigned each of you a task based on your personal qualifications. Get to work.

Wario: Greed

*Wario and Kirby are walking down the sidewalk when they encounter a "lost" one-hundred-dollar bill that Wario had planted earlier*

Wario: *putting his hands to his cheeks* Oh my! It seems that some poor chap has lost a hundred dollar bill! Whatever shall we do?

Kirby: Poyo?

*Kirby looks at the money, then picks up the bill and attempt to give it to Wario.*

Wario: *resisting the temptation* NO, Kirby. It's called "finder's keepers". You found the money, so you get to keep it. YOU decide what YOU want to do with it.

*Kirby contemplates this for a minute. Then he turns and dashes into a nearby candy store.*

Wario: *rubbing his hands together gleefully* Yes! Yeeeeeessss!

*Kirby exits the shop with a giant bag of candy.*

Wario: That's my boy! Wait ... where are you going?

*As he watches, Kirby bounds across the street into a nearby park, where he immediately starts giving the candy away to the children playing there*

Wario: *DOUBLE FACEPALM*

Gruntilda: Vanity/Envy

*Gruntilda has invited Kirby to her tower, where she toils away at her cauldron*

Gruntilda: Puffball, keep your ears and eyes open wide! And I'll show you how to boost your pride!

Kirby: *confused* ... poyo?

Gruntilda: Cauldron, cauldron, boiling brash, tell me who's the cutest in smash?

Dingpot: The answer to that is easy to see, nobody can out-cute Kirby!

Gruntilda: *winces* Okay, we got lucky with that first whirl, but now tell me smash's cutest girl?

Dingpot: While there's plenty competition for this space, Princess Zelda takes first place.

Gruntilda: *angry* Now listen good, you son of a bitch! Tell me who is smash's greatest witch!

Dingpot: While I grovel at your feet, both Bayonetta and Ashley have you beat.

Gruntilda: Why you cheeky little pot! Guess who's going outside to rot?

Dingpot: I d- *IS YEETED OUT THE WINDOW*

Wolf: Lust

Wolf: ... I'm not sure about this.

Bowser: What?

Wolf: This just feels very wrong. Like, somehow the universe itself is going to punish us for this.

Bowser: Just do it you pussy!

Wolf: (sigh) Fine.

*Wolf bends down and holds a magazine out to Kirby*

Wolf: Now, Kirby, this is what we call a "Girly Mag"...

*Suddenly a window crash!*

Palutena: *crashing through a window* What's going on here!?

Rosalina: *bursting through the ceiling* Who's corrupting youth in here!?

Bayonetta: *smashing down a wall* Who do I need to punish!?

Wolf & Bowser: *hugging each other and screaming like little girls*

Ridley: Wrath

Ridley: ... What exactly am I supposed to be doing here?

Ganondorf: Just do your usual thing. Show Kirby how much fun it is to kill indiscriminately or whatever.

Ridley: Okay, first off, my killing is VERY discriminate. If it weren't, I literally wouldn't have any minions.

Space Pirate: It's true!

Ridley: Secondly, have you even PLAYED a Kirby game? That boy kills more indiscriminately than anybody! He literally just devours everything in his path, friend or foe! He doesn't need lessons from anybody!

Ganondorf: I'm mostly surprised to find out that you've apparently played a Kirby game.

Ridley: I HAVE LAYERS!

K. Rool: Gluttony

K.Rool: *stares at Kirby*

Kirby: *stares back at K.Rool*

K.Rool: ...

Kirby: ...

K.Rool: Mission accomplished, I guess?

#incorrect quotes #smash bros #submission #incorrect super smash bros #super smash bros #Kirby #Ness #Jeff #Ganondorf #Wario #Bowser #Gruntilda #Ridley #Wolf #Earthbound #Legend of Zelda #Wario Ware Inc #Super Mario #Banjo Kazooie #Metroid #Star Fox

[monkey-network]

SMG4 Review Ultima 2020 Pt. I

*Slam* The First Half of the year is officially over and by god, how much of a year it was. Needless to say, Fuck. But I wanted to celebrate making it this far by looking over one creator that has helped me keep going and that’s SMG4. His vids are still something else and today we’re doing a lightning round, no holds barred! Let’s do this...

Mario Gets His Pingas Stuck in the Door

Pretty great starter episode as last year. How they’re able to escalate things is pretty hilarious and like a door to the dingdong, it sticks the landing. (Grade: A)

Mario School Club

Ah, an episode where it’s about a group and they each get good segments. Shroomy’s club was my favorite and I enjoyed Mr. Monitor’s debut. It gets the same score. (Grade: A)

Bowser Loses Custody of his Children

This episode’s pretty straightforward. It has its jokes but it’s admittedly not a standout. Honestly, I was kinda believing we’d get an arc for this cuz I feel like this would’ve worked if Bowser didn’t get his kids back and we’d save getting them back at a later date.  (Grade: B-)

If Mario Was in the Sonic Movie

Eggman really stole the show with this and it was definitely better than the actual Sonic movie because I actually had more than a couple chuckles. Plus no shitty product placement. The romance element was especially a poignant turn because it made me love Swagmaster a lot more. Overall great to go back to when I want a good time. (Grade: A)

Mario’s Magical TV

Has its moments but they might as well have been one off shitposts on Twitter. Looking back, it’s an inferior episode to one later down the line and ends up being pretty meh. Also reminds me of Rick and Morty which did it better 3 times now. (Grade: C-)

Lord of the Memes

Ah, a Lord of the Rings parody. It’s a fun adventure that has some clever references, some pretty cinematic moments, and a great climax. Especially loved how they recreated smeagle’s arc and is great spin on their D&D episodes. (Grade: A)

Meggy’s Destiny

Still a good movie that works better emotionally than logically. Couple annoying moments but there are indeed great moments, especially in the 3rd act, that balances things out. Overall, it’s not as great as the anime arc, but it’s a fun bout that caps off that arc in a heartfelt way. (Grade: B+)

Mario Commits Tax Fraud

This was exceedingly one note. Barely got a laugh out of me beyond the climax and nothing’s really compelling me to enjoy thinking about this again. Might as well have played Yoshi in GTA 5 to get the same experience but better. (Grade: D+)

If Mario was in Animal Crossing

The ending is all that really mattered and it unfortunately shows how little Animal Crossing had in terms of worthwhile memes to utilize and even then, they really faceplanted with how forgettable this kinda was. Seriously, even the froggy chair gag was pitiful and predictable. (Grade: C-)

Mario Runs Out of Toilet Paper

Unexpected is what I’d call this. The second half raises the memes to a pretty great logical extreme and it’s surprising that this came from a real world annoyance. Really turned lemons into lemonade because fuck the hoarders. Those people made me side with Thanos for a while. (Grade: B+)

Mario’s Inside Story

Pretty fun adventure, but it kinda stinks that Saiko has little to really do anymore. Her chemistry with Luigi is good, but it would’ve made little difference to replace her with someone else. The story itself works well even with a predictable ending, but I just wish Saiko could do more. (Grade: B)

The E G G

This episode basically reused one of my most hated story tropes ever. “Oh no, they’re taking care of a baby but the baby won’t stay still and hijinks ensues.” This wasn’t good when Tom & Jerry did it, I certainly don’t like it here. And JubJub doesn’t make it better by being a blathering Boopkins echo fighter. That’s all he is and I’m with Mario where I wish he wasn’t around. Fuck this episode. (Grade: F)

Wario Tries to Stop Himself From Dying

A pretty great take on the ‘Wario Dies.mp3′ meme that reminds me so much of Happy Death Day. Huge step up from the previous entry and it’s a solid episode revolved around one of my favorite fat man. (Grade: B+)

Meggy Moves In

This is honestly an episode that just turns into a mess. There’s really only one good joke but other than that, it’s not charming or a laugh riot. It’s fine, just really bland. (Grade: C-)

Mario is Cancelled

I’d say it exhibits the basics of cancel culture well, but this is the most boring episode imaginable. Too much attempts at commentary not enough jokes. This almost felt like what a Karen would think SMG4 episodes are like. (Grade: D-)

The Totally Legit Learning Show with SMG4

This is Mario’s Magical TV but better. Every segment is either funny or charming as hell and it all just sticks to a more captivating lookback. (Grade: A)

🌽🌽🌽🌽𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓷🌽🌽🌽🌽

Pretty casual and charming episode. Not a major laugh machine but I was consistently enjoying every moment. Bonus points for not giving JubJub a lot of screen time and making Rob the scarecrow a lovely character from start to finish. Kinda weird that they went with corn but it’s not a dealbreaker. (Grade: B+)

Mario the Supreme Leader

A legit laugh riot from start to finish. Feels like a sequel to Smart Mario but taken to an equally great extreme. It’s great (Grade: A)

War on Beeg SMG4

Again, an episode where Saiko is apart of the ride but is mostly sidelined in terms of what to do. Otherwise, this is like the Toilet Paper episode where it’s unexpected and I really didn’t know where it was gonna go. Though this is a little better because a few moments stuck out to me more.  (Grade: A-)

Officer Meggy

Meggy is cute as a cop and Mr. Monitor is utilized better here than his other appearances. The story’s alright and is a pretty charming next step for Meggy after the Splatfest adventure. (Grade: B+)

Mario vs. Siren Head

A delightfully devilish take on the horror figure. It’s kind of a copy from the Sonic Movie episode but still a nice episode centered around Siren Head, with a pretty great ending to cap. (Grade: B+)

The Demon Among Us

Pretty mid in terms of story and comedy. I figured they would make an episode about Shroomy’s carnage side and I wonder if this’ll become an eventual arc but I doubt it. Found it pretty meh more than anything. (Grade: C)

Mario's Spicy Day 🔥

Not a major fan of SMG3′s voice, but I didn’t mind this episode. Heck, it hardly involves Mario so the title’s a little misleading. Not a lot to say with it, though, has its jokes and a nice emotional moment but other than that, it’s pretty mid.  (Grade: B-)

SSENMODNAR Reddit Special

Hit and miss, but mostly hit. The JOJO and Teletubbie skits were the greatest, but I feel some just felt like lazy answers. Overall, some good fun but I’d be fine if it was fanwork specials like the previous ones.  (Grade: B-)

【ＡＮＤ　ＴＨＡＴ＇Ｓ　ＴＩＭＥ！】

Well, quite above average all around. If you want my top 5 favorite, that’s not happening. Let’s see where the 2nd Half provides as the memes roll on. 

Stay safe out there, and see you at year’s end.

#SMG4 #long post #reviews

[fibrielsolaer]

Smash Ultimate tier list based entirely on which characters I like and which I hate

BSP = Big Sexy Personality

FBNIS = Fun, But Not In Smash

MPATBUD = Mario Princesses Are Terrifying Blow-Up Dolls

S Tier

Kirby: absolutely the man, if you don’t love Kirby you’re probably the asshole who got this roster flooded with Marth World pricks

Pikachu: He quicc. He thicc. He’ll Thunderbolt you to hicc

Except it’s a she because I only ever play Librechu ;p

Bowser: BSP

Zelda: She is so cute, I can finally stand playing as her

Pichu: He is so cute, it almost makes up for how stupid he is

Ganondorf: He’s finally fucking cool. He uses the goddamn sword now

Lucario: What if Mewtwo was a Shaolin monk hunk

I only play purple Lucario for reasons you’re best not knowing

Toon Link: He’s the cartoon that Link and Young Link watched and modeled themselves on

Ridley: HOLY SHIT IT FEELS AWESOME TO PLAY RIDLEY

I love how the game designers know he’s way too small so when you fight him in Classic Mode as Samus he gets Giant modifier

K. Rool: BSP

Piranha Plant: The pain from the pipes, this disrespectful piece of shit is so stupid he wraps around to greatness, with his inclusion I’ve changed my mind and now say fuck it, add Bandana Waddle Dee, hell add a regular Waddle Dee if you want, I don’t even care anymore

A Tier

Luigi: Few people know that he and Mario are actually identical twins, his brother merely wears a fat suit (the weight of which has crushed his spine) so they can be told apart

Ness: I like the picture you get when you play for 20 hours

C. Falcon: This is the guy who beats up Incineroar. As the positive icon of the people he never shows any emotion except for “YUS!” and “SHOW ME”. All Might was probably based on this jackass

Jigglypuff: Like so many other Pokemon, its adorable facade is a veneer for an expansive and unfathomable eldritch demon. The difference is, despite how fucking many Pokemon like that there are, nobody has found Jigglypuff’s secret and lived to tell

Young Link: He’s actually Link’s son, who idolizes his father and wants to follow in his footsteps. His dad has strayed from the path but young blood here carries on the true faith. Also, FBNIS

Mewtwo: He was the original Damn Cool Pokemon. He jockeys with Lucario for that role now but all they ever do is sit there charging their neutral Bs talking about how the planet will explode in 5 minutes

Roy: He knows that the Marth World infestation is soon to be purged, because there are like five actual Marths including him, so he decided to become the best Marth World character so he alone will survive

Pit: The only cunt from his series besides Dark Pit who had the decency not to change voice and try to pretend it was the same fucking one. I never play as him ever but Sakurai sure cared more about making him fresh & fun post-Uprising than any of his other goddamn characters

Charizard: BSP

Dedede: BSP

Bowser Jr.: This rude little shit is the guy who you invite to a party and he brings his whole crew, excuse me no I didn’t invite Wendy and Horton and Lenny and all these bitches, but fuck it y’all cool

Simon: I like his funny walk and he looks like Conan the Barbarian

Richter: I like his funny walk and he looks like a dork

Isabelle: Do you know this literal bitch killed me with a fucking stop sign 3 times before I unlocked her, why isn’t that a reaction macro

Incineroar: He pretends to be a bad guy so that kids’ heroes will beat him up on TV and they will be happy. He is so sweet

B Tier (Everyone Is Meh)

Mario: Meh

Donkey Kong: Meh

Link: The dad who strayed from the path, I really don’t like the Breath of the Wild Link, FBNIS

Fox: Meh

Sheik: Meh

Dr. Meh: Mario

Falco: Hands off my meh

Mehrth: He’s kinda cool but Roy is way cooler

Mr. Game & Watch: What an annoying asshole

Wario: It’s not the cool Wario, it’s the stupid Wario Ware one, and he brings all his obnoxious waifu friends with him. It’s Wario after he retired from his teen Youtube star days at the age of 30 and he’s trying to stay young and cool-looking but his stoner friends keep fucking it up

Solid Snake: Meh, too indirect for me, FBNIS

Squirtle: Meh-est of the Pokemon Trainer trio, he just doesn’t provoke like any reaction from me at all unlike the other two

Diddy Kong: Meh

Olimeh: This is the most boring goddamn character, everything you do you have to pluck fucks

ROB: He barely animates

Villager: I kinda wish Animal Crossing let you be an animal too. The lone human character is really boring

Mega Meh: You got: FBNIS

Little Meh: I dunno I’ve just barely ever played him

Mehninja: Maybe I should actually try playing it once ever

Duck Hunt: If there was a B-and-a-half tier I’d put this one there because you can delay the side-B and set up Snake-level GOTCHA combos, otherwise the novelty wears off fast

Ryu: He is the 2nd-least likeable guy, what a turbo douche

Bayomehtta: She’s rule 63 Dante, her game was always just a DMC ripoff that relied on her tits & ass to differentiate from it

Inkling: I like the yellow hair girl one but I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE CRINGY-ASS ASSIST TROPHY AND WILL ABSOLUTELY UNFAIRLY BLAME THE CHARACTER FOR THIS.

C Tier

Samus: She is the most FBNIS character

Ice Climber: They’re really un-cute and I hate their desync thing

Metaknight: This guy was so much cooler before he talked, or rather, before he screamed AYAYGYGYAYGYAGA

Ike: Marth World has like 2,000 characters ranging from pegasus knights to barbarians to psychic dragon-girl dancers, and yet we keep getting these boring fucking swordsmen

Pokemon Trainer: Get absolutely the fuck out you twerp you don’t even do a goddamn thing and you die the second any one of your THREE fighters is KO’d so you don’t even incorporate the actual spirit of your original character unlike literally everybody else

Venusaur: If I evolved this ugly fucker I would delete my save

Lucas: If I had an Absolutely Gone Machine that could erase anything in the world and delete everyone’s memory that it ever existed so they would shut the fuck up about it, Mother 3 would be precisely the fourth thing I deleted

Robin: Least shitty post-Melee Marth World character but I just haven’t bothered to try it out to see if it’s actually good or not, probably because I’m just too allergic to Marth World by now

Dark Samus: Cool, but why

Daisy: MPATBUD, but this one has the closest thing to a personality. Unfortunately it is a fucking terrible and horrific personality

Zero Suit Samus: hey cool Samus is Barbie now

Ken: Remember how I said Ryu was the 2nd-least likeable? Well here’s Liquid Ryu to seize the coveted spot

Cloud: Yeah hey, let’s take the one Final Fantasy protagonist with like the least connection to Nintendo, no it’s fine, every goddamn Marth World game except the one that justified its worldwide presence has a character in but we’re not gonna use Cecil or Buttz or Terra

Corrin: Any hope this bitch had to go on my “Is a dragon so I like it” list was ruined by how absolutely infuriating it is to fight against Corrin especially that one Spirit match where he spams his INSTANT FINAL SMASH THAT HAS LIKE AN INFINITELY VERTICAL HITBOX fuck this goddamn digimon

D tier

Yoshi: I’ve hated this thing ever since it stopped going BAWONKA WONKA and started going blblblblblbl

add Birdo as an Echo and I might forgive you

Peach: MPATBUD, Peach is usually able to manifest either the behavior of a real person (Paper Mario) or the appearance of one (Smash), but sadly never both, she is doomed to blow-up-dollery forevermore

Sonic: Please add any other Sonic character, any at all, I’ll even take Charmy, I fucking hate Blue Bubsy

Wolf: The only reason he is not the furry-trashiest character in Smash is because Krystal is an AT, this cocksucker deadass awoos

Wii Fit Trainer: Next to her, Mario Princesses almost look human

Rozzalinda: MPATBUD and this one is the worst, far and away the worst Mario Princess, she is the creepiest fucking woman. WHY IS IT THAT NOBODY IN MARIO ACTS LIKE A HUMAN FUCKING BEING EXCEPT THE CHARACTERS WHO AREN’T FUCKING HUMAN. tl;dr the only people who say rosalina is their waifu collect people’s faces

Mii Fighters: you dress them up to make a parody of a character and then never once actually use said parody because they are stupid

Palutena: remember in Uprising how they could make fake Palutenas, this is one of them, they have a fake Viridi too, you know it is because starting in smash 4 it is clearly two different actresses trying way too hard to sound like the old ones and i can’t get over it sorry. (also she plays like shit)

Pac-Man: I only liked him when he was a pizza

Shulk: does he ever shut the fuck up

Lucina: add a red nose and it’s Marth: Tumblr Edition

Chrom: oh fuck off

Robin’s bitchass final smash still calls this clown

even if you use it on Chrom

he is so ashamed of his audacity he fucking fucks himself

#smash ultimate #tier list #tier #tiers #smash #ssbu #ssb