#*sprays him with a spray bottle of water like a cat* | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noodlelove3000 · 2 days

Text

One thing that really rots my brain is the idea of the guild during the og baby fairytail members time and the domesticity of it. Cause like no way was gramps letting a bunch of super powered ( and incredibly destructive) 7-14year olds out of his sight.

Just imagine:

Little Natsu and emo teen Laxus having breakfast while very quietly whispering about their respective hoards collections of cat theme things ( I KNOW LAXUS IS A SECRET CAT LOVER I JUST KNOW IT)

Tiny Gray having an emo phase. Mira (a punk 14 year old) helping him out (after teasing him of course). The two spending many hours and lots of jewel to find and look through dozens of fashion magazines. Eventually falling asleep sprawled on the floor in a nest of semi-laminated paper.

Tween Lissana and levy giggling over the kissy scenes in books and Erza overhearing them. Spitting out her cake into Laxus’s face which makes them burst out into full on cackling.

Little Cana teaching natsu to make card pyramids for 3 hours and when he finally gets it, Elfman knocks it over. Every one thinks Natsu is going to punch someone, but he doesn’t, instead he starts full on bawling. Nobody knows what to do. Little Natsu cannot be comforted. Levy shuts him up by shoving candy into his mouth while cana really quickly rebuilds the pyramid.

Erza and Mira having a dance off on some of the tables ( mira breaks 3 of them in half with her stomping, Erza somehow stabs one). This is how everyone finds out to never take either of them to parties cause they dance like the deaf baby of giraffes and a buffalo.

Gray and climbing a tree to the very top and forgetting that he doesn’t know how to get down? He stays there till the next morning and seethes for the next week cause LISSANA had to carry him down.

Natsu following Gray around like a lost puppy his first week cause “he’s friend sized” and what else was he supposed to do? He knows nothing! Dudes not even from this time period. At least if he follows loud stripper he knows he wont get run over by a car. Gray not noticing or caring that he is being followed cause little guy has his own problems to deal with and “as long as he doesn’t take my food or breath on me.”

Cana having a plague doctor mask that elfman bought for her 13th birthday. She wears it to scare the shit out of everyone at the sleepovers.

Weekly “sleepovers” in the guildhall because it’s easier to do gramps weekly count of them when they are all lined up in their my little pony sleeping bags (yes this includes laxus and mira)

When Romeo is born they have a guild wide contest on whose name he says first (the answer is his own cause the little dude is a true fairytail wizard)

Levy managing to give everyone a heart attack after casually admitting that she hasn’t slept or ate anything but crackers and coffee cause she was trying to teach herself the equivalent of ancient greek.

Laxus and gray not knowing how to hold a baby (romeo)

Natsu “teething” on Erza. Everyone stares in shock cause there’s just Erza sitting there stone faced in full armor while Natsu chops down on her arm like he has rabies. ( he still bites her even when they’re older if he’s really stressed)

Everyone having a default crush on laxus or Mira

The guild kids try to make homemade shaved ice with grays ice and end up covering the entire town with really weird ice sculptures

Mira scaring the shit out of kids with her demon souls during Halloween

Someone stealing Mira or Natsu’s food and ending up with a burn on their tounge followed by natsu trying to “kiss it better”

Levy dozing off on the rafters and falling down onto poor elfman

Spin the bottle but instead of kissing you fight (grays idea)

Laxus has a spray bottle filled with water mixed with really bad smelling cologne that he uses to spray people when they’re bad, like cats.

No one in the guild knew how to swim until they turned 16 Lissana still can’t swim.

Its really really common to see elfman or gray duck-taped to the wall (its levy who does it)

Dont fall asleep around teen Mira she will draw titties on your face. (Where do you think natsu got it from?)

They all took a living 101 class when lissana was 13. It failed miserably. Laxus ended up being the grandfather to 6 rats and 3 hamsters

Laxus takes Lissana and Elfman out for brunch once a month because it pisses mira off to no end.

Levy, Lissana, and Laxus accidentally forming an L name club and plan their “meetings” within earshot of Mira and Erza to make them jealous.

“We should get cookies!”-levy

“And ice cream!”- lissana

“(Super smug face) im craving strawberry cake.”-laxus

*sounds of Erza bursting into flames of jealousy*

35 notes · View notes

soldez · 1 year

Text

this was going to be a comic before my laptop broke but Whatever. anybody else miss using their dad as a stim toy when they were like 6

#it was going to end with him scampering off hissing being sprayed with a water bottle like a cat. anyway #tmnt #myart #rottmnt #i used to knead my dad plus rub my face on his stubble plus hold his mouth and nose shut bc he made funny noises when he couldnt breathe

265 notes · View notes

depressedstressedlemonzest · 5 months

Text

No God why are you KISSING HER????!!!

#rumplestiltskin NO!#*sprays him with a spray bottle of water like a cat*#NO RUMPLESTILTSKIN! BAD!#rumplestiltskin #ouat rumple #ouat #once upon a time #cora mills #lem watches ouat

20 notes · View notes

arthurwilde · 3 months

Text

I should get up and clean the kitchen but Alfie is finally sitting next to me relatively restfully and I know that the second I get up he's going to prance over and start getting in the sink and walking around on the counters and throwing himself in the fridge and knocking things over and otherwise causing Problems

#keeping him off the counters is impossible. it can't be done #the spray bottle has gotten a TON of use he's covered in water a good deal of the time. he doesn't even care anymore #i was trying to make dinner last night and it felt like there were about 10 of him #he can go Anywhere Else he wants. anywhere else! but i won't have his dirty little cat feet where we eat and prepare food!!#text post tag #adventures in alfiedom

7 notes · View notes

cats-obsessions · 17 days

Note

🍇🍍🍻 ^-^

🍇: What sort of friend are they? Where are they in the group dynamic?

When he decides/realizes he actually cares about someone at all, he cares 100%. There’s no in between. He’s definitely protective and the ‘only I get to bully them’ type. It’s very important to him to make his friends happy. He tries to pay close attention to their likes and dislikes. So, he approaches them differently depending on the boundaries they set. Like being more chaotic with immren or more thoughtful about touch with Maidris or more sarcastic/bitchy (affectionately) with Maeve hahaha his dynamic mostly comes off as somewhere between ‘will do any stupid thing they want if it’s fun’ and doing his best to take care of or look out for them

🍍: Where does your OC feel most comfortable?

Definitely at home! He feels safest in the semi-peacefulness of home, but with Maidris and Immren he also knows he’s not totally alone which is comforting.

Beers cheers answered here

#this is all rambling #I just think Nox is quite observant with his friends #and tends to match peoples energies but like not in a petty way normally #but letting them set boundaries #but like he pushes boundaries softly #bullies Maidris to touch grass more #because it’s healthier for him !!! he cares #sprays immren with a water bottle for making dangerous decisions #like a bad cat #modern au #oc: nox

4 notes · View notes

snowisflesh · 1 year

Text

skybound was so funny for making kai canonically an online freak. this man is posting ninja themed thirst traps to tiktok daily and the other ninja are powerless to stop him

#whap whap its wolfgang #kai's a tiktoker jays a redditor and harumi is a female manipulator tumblr girlie. these are my only important ninjago takes #pov: the city is being destroyed and you get saved by the fire ninja (the audio is that i never meant to break your heart one)#cole sprays him with a water bottle like a misbehaving cat whenever he posts

14 notes · View notes

krakensmaw · 6 months

Text

🎲 7 : a romantic kiss. @pyratezlife / ned.

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐇𝐄'𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘. in secret, where no shards of his bared and vulnerable heart could be seen and exploited. unlike now, with that same heart an OPEN BOOK ; one that ned had skimmed and committed to memory with ease, like reading the lines from their very mind itself. and yet, they couldn't begin to feel concern nor the desire to shut himself away.

perhaps for the first time, he felt truly wanted. he felt safe. they weren't naive to ned's reputation for CRUELTY and bloodlust, but some tenderness lurked beneath the hands of every monster, did it not? it may just require the right set of hands to coax it out. they had to believe it. for some wild, untamable creature lurked beneath their own breast. a creature whose own hunger could only be satiated by VIOLENCE.

❛ a rose? ❜ they didn't ask where he'd gotten it, nor how much such a thing would cost here. at port, where such beautiful and frivolous things were not grown. he only took it betwixt gentle fingers, like handling a precious and FRAGILE thing. the crimson of its petals stood out against his calloused and sunkissed hands. they thought at once of the crimson silk tucked away safe in the pocket of their leather and touched a thumb to a petal : it was just as soft.

❛ it's beautiful ... i've only seen one once before, in a governor's garden. i'd never got to touch it, or ❜ head canted, lashes fluttering as he inhaled the floral scent. they felt lightheaded. heat BLOSSOMED at the apples of their cheeks, heart quickening. the sun had begun to set on the shoreline, the sky a canvas of warm hues. ❛ thank you ... ❜ he leaned in for a kiss and MELTED the moment they made contact, free hand coming to rest at ned's nape. edward pressed in flush, lips parted in offering, heedless of who might see.

#pyratezlife #' verse / learning to fly !#no one has ever undertaken a more inadvisable “i can fix him” project #me spraying ed with a water bottle like an idiot cat #stop falling in love with this prick i stg

2 notes · View notes

archduke-enver-gortash · 7 months

Text

zeke is genuinely such an awful person but that doesn’t prevent me from being endlessly sad about his story jesus christ that roach does not deserve this

#sprays bhaal and gortash with a water bottle like you would a cat to keep them away from him

2 notes · View notes

telethrutime · 1 year

Text

Screw DiMA specifically for making me play puzzles in his offbrand roblox bug infested brain

#I'm stuck on what I think is the last one and I'm not happy abt it #sprays him in the face with a water bottle like people do when cats get onto tables #fo4 #fallout 4 #far harbor #DiMA

12 notes · View notes

1010neveragain · 2 years

Photo

Starlight Express Appreciation Month Day 17: Caboose

Favorite Actor(s): TODD LESTER my beloved. but also shout out to Michael Eborall, Andrew Prosser and Kapa Kitchen <3333

Favorite Song/Scene(s): Wide Smile ofc!!! Terrorizing Rusty, Freight, and One Rock N Roll Too Many also have very large places in my heart

Favorite Costume: The costumes in bway and the us tours where he has the Big Bandana and the Shiny pants. love the suspenders n makeup he has in bochum tho.

Favorite Ship(s): ELECTRABOOSE (pan over to me, frothing at the mouth and shaking)

Headcanon: Cb has very sensitive ears and gets sensory overload really easily!! it’s one of the reasons he almost always wears his headphones (along with, yknow,listening to his radio).

Unpopular Opinion: Caboose is friends with the freight. idk i see a lot of content where like. the other freight trucks dont like caboose and i just. i think theyre all buddies sorry

#starlight express #stex #stex appreciation month 2022 #stex appreciation month #caboose stex #cb the red caboose #red caboose stex #my perfect beautiful boy who has done nothing wrong #anyways the freight is a big found family and i am not about to split them up #cb is their little cat who hisses and they spray him with a water bottle #and in turn he knocks stuff off counters #i dont make the rules i just follow them #also a note on todd #i think vocally there are beese i like better HOWEVER #when it comes to the ENERGY the DANCING the VIBES #todd lester is unparalleled

7 notes · View notes

2xthemoon · 2 years

Text

Batman? Nah, I only know wet rat man.

#robert battinson #battison #dc batman #batman #Someone spray him with a water bottle like a cat pls #my guy looking like he hasn’t seen water in years #Batmans Kryptonite is water #the batman 2022

14 notes · View notes

wishboner · 1 month

Text

I feel so guilty holy shit. I've been feeding this stray I named Bananas Foster and she started bringing her friend too but I can't feed them both so I chased him away I feel so guilty. She was like, "dude I know this nice human don't worry about it" and brought him along I'm such an asshole genuinely god

#He like. Has a hurt paw.....#I feel so fucking bad but I can't feed TWO stray cats on my porch my neighbors would lose it ...#And now banas Foster is scared of me more then she was #Btw I just sprayed him with a water bottle to get him to leave nothing horrible ...#But I have my indoor cat and I'm like. Struggling to pay for everything as it is .....#So adding a hoarder of strays is not rrally ... Viable ...#The only reason I started feeding Bananas Foster is she seems friendly enough to be homed eventually. ...

0 notes

oscars-dumbass-central · 9 months

Text

Xisuma

We have already been through this once

STOP IT

#i am spraying him with a water bottle like hes a disobedient cat #hc #x #og oscar

0 notes

bejeweledblondie · 7 months

Text

Simon “Ghost” Riley Headcannons

A/N: these are loosely inspired from real life experiences I’ve had living on a military base, these men have a on & off switch it’s crazy

Simon “Ghost” Riley x F! Reader

Warnings: NSFW

• Simon first saw you while he was in the States for a training exercise, he was out at one of the local bars with some of the other soldiers he was with

• Soap had actually asked for your number first & since he was so intoxicated you turned him down

• Simon apologized for Soap & that’s how you met

• he did have a heart attack when he found out there was a bit of a age gap between you two but quickly got over it when he realized how mature you were

• it was a long distance relationship at first (from personal experience it sucks in the beginning)

• there were times when he couldn’t talk due to the risk of potentially exposing his teams location so you had to write letters every now & then

• you cried constantly whenever you saw some horrific news in the paper about what was going on overseas, the anxiety was awful

• but when he returned the reunions were euphoric

• you have a bottle of his cologne & aftershave so you can always feel close to him

• and you’d spray your perfume on the letters you sent so he couldn’t always smell the paper when he was missing you

• it took him sometime to open up to you about what had happened to him in his past, & your respected that

• when he first met your family, he was shocked by all the support he had received from them

• he asked your parents to marry you the first time he met them & showed them the ring too (ofc they said yes)

• he proposed to you in private after a nice dinner, he got choked up during the proposal

• your dad specifically was elated, he got to brag at how bad ass his son in law is

• your mom if she’s a teacher, had her entire class send cards, candy, anything they’d need in care packages Soap nearly cried when he opened the sweetest letter from a little girl (this actually happened irl my mom’s class did this & one guy got really choked up)

• Simon always would be your fiercest protector

• since he’s like an freakin tree he will guide your head with his bear paw of a hand in crowds

•he CANNOT sit with his back facing the door it stresses him out

•this man is strapped 24/7 whether that be a knife, bear spray etc. he’s ready

•he has a trauma kit in his car because “you never know”

•Simon is 1000% one of those apocalypse preppers you have freeze dried food, medicine, water, etc. he’s always on edge

• he sleeps with a damn rifle next to y’all’s bed

• you have a whole security system too

• your guy’s apartment is impeccable like you could eat off of the floor

• hell your guy’s bed has damn hospital corners

• Simon adopted a cat so you don’t feel as lonely when he’s deployed

• He’s your chonky boy & you do send plenty of photos to Simon when he’s deployed

• Gaz & Soap tease him about him living his “cat dad” life

• you start trying for a baby two years into your marriage

• Simon does fall victim to the “curse of the infantry” (which is not a negative thing btw it’s a running joke that infantry soldiers have all daughters) he makes girls

• he was deployed during your pregnancy & was worried sick he nearly missed the birth of your daughter

• that little girl is the most well protected baby in the whole world, the Task Force gifted him not just baby stuff but damn security for the nursery

• He watches your baby from his phone in the nursery on deployment, he was silently crying once when he was watching you sing a lullaby to your baby girl

•Price had to comfort him father to father

•In reality Simon has a very hard cold exterior at work for the sake of keeping his mental health for the profession he’s in but deep down he’s always held a soft spot & your relationship just brings it out

✨NSFW ✨

• there is a big size difference between you two & it drives him insane

• the first time y’all had together he didn’t want to break you in half

• when he returns from deployment y’all go at it like rabbits for multiple rounds, your poor pussy was so sore afterwards

• has a massive corruption & daddy kink

• he’s an ass man I don’t make the rules here so any position where your ass if the focal point is his favorite

• y’all have made so many sex tapes for him when he’s deployed, he has a whole folder on his phone & jerks off to them in the bathroom or the porta potty (it’s a canon event, trust me) to them

• he lets your cockwarm him constantly when you’re on the couch, when he’s working, hell y’all had even fallen asleep like that

• I know people say he has a Prince Albert piercing but alas per army regulation that is safety risk I think it’s more likely he’d use a cock ring on you

• during a military ball you two snuck off & fucked in a supply closet

• he couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel room after seeing you in your gown, it was red his favorite color

• and he just looked so fucking good in his dress uniform, that was the night you totally conceived your baby girl

• he groans into your ear when he cums & he’ll use his body to just eclipse yours

• “one more baby girl” & “c’mon pretty girl use your words tell me what you want”

• is a sucker for babydoll lingerie it brings your innocence & triggers his corruption kink

• moral of the story Simon Riley fucks

5K notes · View notes

cherrychilli · 5 months

Text

18+

Eddie Munson x AFAB reader, friends to lovers, mentions of nudity, brief mention of masturbation (m). Basically, Eddie finds you sleeping naked in his bed.

A/N: Idk I've had this idea in my head for too long now and I need to exorcise it out of me with this little drabble or I'll never be able to get on with my life.

Forest Hills trailer park wasn't your usual stop after clocking out of work but after the day you’ve had you don’t have it in you to wait for the next bus back to your apartment. Your place is 30 minutes away but the journey is sure to take even longer in the current downpour.

Staying over at the trailer wasn't anything new. A spare key was entrusted to you years ago and you made use of it on days like this to crash at Eddie’s for convenience sake. The key came with the promise that you were welcome to anything you needed even if both Eddie and Wayne were away – shower, food, an extra change of clothes, what have you, and you needed them all today.

With Wayne out of town for a few days and Eddie due back in two hours you sink into auto pilot, weary down to the bone from your shift. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t feel as weird as it probably should when you started to undress in their kitchenette, hanging your work clothes over the back of a nearby chair, rummaging through the fridge in your bra and panties for a quick bite to eat before heading for the shower.

There wasn’t much in it besides beer since Wayne hadn’t been around to stock it. Eddie always preferred ordering take out over getting groceries – something you were going to nag him for again when you had the strength to do so.

Cereal it would have to be.

You located a box inside one of the cupboards, tipping the wheaty, sugary contents straight into your mouth without bothering with a bowl and spoon. It’s not lost on you how similarly you’re acting to Eddie right down to the unruly state of half undress, wiping crumbs off your lips with the back of your hand. If you finished off with a belch it'd be like he never left the trailer this morning.

The messy mouthfuls of cereal prove enough to silence the toad’s croak of hunger that'd been gurgling noisily inside your belly, putting the box away.

Traipsing through, feet dragging, you threw your clothes into the washer next along with your underwear, completely nude now in the Munson trailer as you made your way to the shower – but not before reaching out for Eddie's Garfield mug that sat on a nearby shelf, turning it around so that the cartoon cat's lazy smirk no longer faced you. For your modesty.

You try to keep the shower brisk, not wanting to use up all the hot water but with the way it sprays down on your aching body, the steam and heat combo soothing your poor sore muscles, it’s so blissful that you have to keep yourself from nodding off right there.

You did make use of Eddie’s body wash, some spicy, woodsy smelling thing in a jet-black bottle but you didn't dare use the two in one shampoo that sat in their shower caddy. It might have worked fine for Eddie and his wild mane but you knew better than to apply the stuff to your own hair. Fortunately, experience had taught you to carry a travel sized bottle filled with your own shampoo whenever you stayed over, working over your locks in a lather scented with cranberries and vanilla.

Stamina depleting by the second, toweling off and brushing your teeth takes the last sliver of energy out of you. Eyelids slipping, movements sluggish, limbs feeling too heavy for your own body to hold up – you’re shutting down whether you like it or not.

Dropping the damp towel on his bedroom floor, you intended to change, you really did. You’d even picked out one of Eddie’s washed t-shirts and a pair of boxers out of the laundry and set them down at the foot of the bed to put on before you made yourself comfortable but that’s not what happened.

Still nude, you crawl into bed, seeking warmth and soft comfort, numbed down to a kind of tunnel vision with rest being your one and only goal.

It feels all the more natural because you’re used to sleeping naked in your own bed, much too tired to remember that you’re not in your bed, draping a blanket that doesn't belong to you over your spent body, surrendering to sleep seconds after your head hits the pillow.

It'd still been raining when Eddie returns later. Dragging himself through the trailer, nearly as worn down as you had been, shaking the excess water out of his hair like a dog trying to get dry.

The smell of your shampoo still lingering in the air tells him you're there, finding you curled up in his bed, all bundled up to your neck. The sight makes him smile.

It doesn't take too long for him to join you, following a similar routine – a quick bite with the addition of a beer and then a shower, only he doesn't skip out on clothing himself in his PJ's first.

If he’d shared the blanket with you he might have found out about your lack of dress sooner but as the gentleman that he can sometimes be, he pulls out a spare blanket from the closet so as to not wake you, prolonging the discovery. Being friends for so long meant that sharing a bed was never awkward even after you'd became adults.

That was until the next morning came.

It’s not the stream of morning light brightening from a cool blue to a warm amber peeking in between the curtains that wakes Eddie, or even the tinny smack of his neighbor’s broken screen door gusting open just a few feet away from his bedroom window. It’s the warmth of your ass pressed flush against his crotch and his nose nestled in your sweet-smelling hair that pulls him out of a dream he wont be able to recall later if he tried.

He shifts closer, eyes cracking open, remembering the tiny bottle of shampoo sitting on the bathroom counter. Remembering the new toothbrush placed in the cup next to his own. Remembering the powder blue towel that neither he nor Wayne ever used laying on his bedroom floor.

And then he remembers that he’s not alone.

Oh...

And then he wishes that he was.

Panic snaps up like a beartrap around Eddie when he realizes he's hard – his thick, throbbing erection pressed right up against your body.

Growing clammy, cold sweat beads on the back of his neck but he’s in luck because you haven’t noticed yet, still sound asleep.

This close together, he knows the slightest movement could rouse you. But what was the alternative? Wait it out? Hope to hell his boner goes away? Fat fucking chance. Not when the soft swell of your ass and your body heat alone had him questioning how he could ever go back to his calloused fist after this.

Carefully, desperately, he tries to inch back without waking you but just as he feared, you begin to stir. Your back arches instinctively, seeking out his warm, solid frame even in your sleep.

Shit shit shit.

The covers slip as you shift, your bare shoulders coming into view, eyes starting to flutter open. With no other option, Eddie swiftly rolls on to his back, his hard on no longer pressed up against you but the problem persists.

“Oh, morning”, you greet him through a yawn, pulling an arm out to rub at your eyes, blanket slipping lower but the frantic boy hasn’t noticed yet, too busy whipping his pillow out from under him to place over his lap.

“Uh-hey. Shower’s free if you wanna go first”, he offers quickly, smiling hard, hoping to subtly usher you out because he's too afraid to get up and risk you getting a load of the tent in his pants if he were to go ahead of you.

“Thanks”, you yawn again, still occupied with rubbing at your sleepy eyes to notice your best friend's pale face turning beet fucking red in an instant as you clamber out of bed, blankets no longer concealing you.

Eddie doesn’t know where to look first. His eyes dart everywhere, every bare inch of you on display. So much soft, naked skin it’s making him short circuit.

His gaze eagerly travels over the slope of your breasts as they jiggle gently with your movements, taking in your soft nipples, moving down over your belly and hips, noticing a few new freckles and beauty marks there along the way to the soft curls between your legs.

His erection digs into the pillow, brain dangerously close to fizzing because he’d been pressed up against you like that all night and not even known it.

A shiver works its way through you, making you question why it feels so drafty in his room all of a sudden. You turn back to ask Eddie if there’s anything wrong with the heating, catching the shocked expression on his face.

Looking down, you're met with the sight of your nude body, breasts bare, no underwear. It's a good thing the occupants of the trailer park liked to mind their own business, even if sometimes you thought they did so to a fault because in any other neighborhood your piercing screech would have had everyone within earshot dialing up the cops.

The scream ricochets off the walls at an ear ringing volume, causing Eddie to jolt and lose his balance, falling out of bed while you leapt back in. Grabbing his spare pillow, you press one half against your chest and squeeze the rest between your thighs to shield yourself.

Now he slaps his hands over his eyes.

---

More than anything, you try so hard to push it aside. To pretend that it hadn't happened but it looms over you like a cloud on the brink of bursting with rain.

After three whole days of walking around eggshells around each other it's Eddie who breaks first.

"I can't stand this I don't know what else to do, Can we just talk about it please?"

“Eddie…", you sigh, a gentle warning.

"So what if I saw you naked? you saw my boner!...sort of. I mean, I guess that doesn't exactly make us even but it has to count for something, right? you're not alone in this"

You immediately set your wide eyes on the only other patrons in the diner to see if they’d overheard – two older women swapping pictures of their grandchildren over coffee and cheesecake. When neither of them take a pause in the middle of cooing about little Tommy's third Birthday or little Emily's first day of Kindergarten you redirect your attention back to Eddie.

“Eddie! Keep your voice down!”, you whisper shout at him from across the booth. "There are literal grandmother's here!"

He rolls his eyes. Not mean spirited, just unconcerned by the ladies and what they may or may not have overheard.

And then, even though no one’s paying either of you any attention, you lean closer over your half-finished key lime pie, one hand shielding the side of your face like you’re trying to avoid getting recognized by an ex who’s just walked in.

"I'm so embarrassed...please can we just drop it?", you plead, voice hushed.

He gives you this look of mild incredulity. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me", and the inflection in his tone almost gives him away, prompting him to double back immediately.

The last thing he wants is for you to feel more uncomfortable than you already do. So he doesn't need you to catch on that he's got every moment of your unintended strip tease memorized. Or that he likes to replay what he's since thought of as the best 10 seconds of his life over and over again when he's fucking his fist in the shower.

“I just mean that it's nothing to be embarrassed by. It could have happened to anyone. Who among us hasn’t napped in just their birthday suit before, am I right?” he finishes with a slight wince, knowing none of this is exactly helpful.

And you know he’s only trying to be nice in his own, sweet, bumbling way but you still feel terrible.

"I don't know if I can shake this feeling", you cast your eyes down, looking too close to despondent for his liking.

"Listen I- I don't know how to fix this but I want to. Please just tell me what I can do and I'll do it, okay?"

God, he's sweet and it makes you feel a little flustered being on the receiving end of that gentle stare, needing to shift the mood lest you drown in all that earnestness pooling in his eyes.

It's moments like this that call for a bad joke to cut the tension, right? some momentary and well meaning deflection before you're ready to address the matter at hand again.

Letting out a half hearted laugh, you make your best attempt to inject some humor into the situation.

"I don't know. Maybe it might help if you got naked too", you nervously scraped your fork against the buttery graham cracker crust of your pie, dislodging a few golden crumbs.

It was so very clearly a joke. At least you had thought so. Eddie? not so much.

His brown eyes go wide, looking scandalized, his voice coming out a little more quite than you're used to.

"What?"

"I mean, I showed you mine after all", you tried again in a cadence that was wholly unserious but once again, he fails to catch on.

"You want me to get naked for you?"

You should correct him and you mean to but before you're able to do just that, something about the way he's staring at you makes you want to match his seriousness. The fact that he didn't say no right away strikes you as weirdly intriguing.

"You don't have to", you clarify, adding, "It's just that – well, you asked and I think it could maybe help? to really get us on even ground?”

The words that come out don't feel like you own – foreign to your ears even though they're said in your voice, with your own lips forming them and your own tongue curling around every syllable.

What the hell am I doing?

Eddie pauses. Seconds drag on like nails on a chalkboard as he taps a ringed finger thoughtfully on the edge of his empty plate smudged with faint traces of cream cheese and lime zest.

"Fine. On one condition", he leans back, arms crossing over his chest, smiling wide and megawatt bright.

Oh my god is this really happening?

“...Yeah?”

"You're going to undress me"

---

Part two? who knows. Certainly not I.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things smut #eddie munson x reader

2K notes · View notes