#*hits you over the head with a comically large hammer labelled 'you WILL feel feelings about a barenaked ladies song'*

[snow-lavender]

I.S.S. (Is Somebody Singing?) is so Wolf and his partners coded.

#the relisiency through science and joy of discovery? that's rae #the always coming home no matter how far away you are? that's centross #the wanting a simple life on earth with your loved ones despite the glory of the stars? that's vikesh #wolf is home to all of them and i cry about it #anyway #*hits you over the head with a comically large hammer labelled 'you WILL feel feelings about a barenaked ladies song'* #fable smp

[foryourlifefic-blog]

Chaper 2 (Part 1)

The Hyatt House

Read the sign of the hotel as we all pulled up to it.

Ron leant me a fur coat for protection against the cold, and I couldn’t help but feel like royalty as we had all shared drinks in their limousine.

When we got out I grabbed Jimmy’s arm for balance, as I could already feel the alcohol hitting me.

Mr. Richard Cole, the famous tour manager had gotten out before us along with some other husky men to keep people out of the way so we could get into the hotel.

The rest of Led Zeppelin and my band mates were behind us as we exited the limo. It was a surreal experience walking into the hotel with Jimmy Page while a line of teenage girls stood outside, hoping to do the same.

“Come on stay over there now!” I could hear Richard yell in a thick accent up ahead.

“Is this every night?” I whisper in Jimmy’s ear gesturing towards the girls.

“Well more like every other night.” he looks towards them and laughs “but hell tonight must be one of those nights” he says with a hint of cockiness.

“I guess so” I remark “so what floor are you guys on?” I ask him as we approach the door.

“Well the very top one of course” he says opening it for me “there is a lovely pool on the roof as well, so having the top floor only makes sense.”

“I see” I say stepping in “and thank you”

“My pleasure” he says putting his hand on the small of my back.

I could be hear talking and laughter from the clump of people behind us, they were all pretty hammered similar to Jimmy and I.

Richard and his helpers were the last ones in as they had to fend off crowds of super fans and teenage girls.

“What’s it like to always have that many chicks available to you?” I can hear Matt slur from behind me.

Robert is quick to answer “well it’s not much different from anything else, you want it, you go get it. That’s just how it is around here.”

“Well that must be nice” Kenny says “I wish girls were like that with us”

“Oh lord” I say rolling my eyes causing Jimmy to chuckle into my neck as we were still arm in arm.

“Tell you what” Robert snaps his fingers “why don’t the two of you go out there and pick out a couple of birds, you can bring them up to our floor and do with them what you will.”

“No shit, really?” Kenny asks.

“My treat” Robert laughs then looks at the clock above the front desk of the lobby “I am actually expecting some one right about now, so I’m gonna go out there with you guys.” He says

“Well then let’s go!” Matt says with a little to much enthusiasm.

Him and Kenny basically run down the lobby steps pushing each other to the front door, while Robert casually walks behind them.

Percy, I can get your bird! It’s crazy out there!” Richards yells following him out the door, but Robert just ignores him.

They push both the doors open and I can hear screaming from outside. I can see Kenny and Matt freeze in their foot steps. Robert just casually greets everyone, while Richard fends off peoples wondering hands. The whole sight was pretty comical.

“And then there were 4” Jen said awkwardly.

“Not to worry little one” Bonzo says wrapping his arm around her head “I’ll take good care of you”

“Thanks” she huffs in the nape his arm.

He laughs “looks like Pagey and your ole friend Lil have already made good company.”

“What do you mean?” I ask causing Jimmy to sharply look at me.

“Well you just seem comfortable is all” He howls “Pagey likes you.”

I can feel Jimmys body immediately tense but then he tries to play it off “thanks for the narration Bonzo.”

“So you do like me?” I ask looking towards him smiling a mischievous smile.

Jen and Bonzo immediately start laughing obnoxiously pissing Jimmy off.

He looks from me to them, then to me again “come with with me” he grunts grabbing my arm leading me to the elevators.

By this time Bonzo and Jen’s laughing has caused me to giggle as well, which is what I did as I waved to them goodbye barley able to contain myself.

Once we got in the elevator the laughing had died down and I began to apologize to him.

“Hey I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean to- huh” I gasped as he grabbed my waist and put his lips on mine.

I about fell from the surprise, but Jimmy caught me and pushed me against the elevator wall.

“I really am sor-“ He cut me off by putting his finger on my lips.

“Shhh” he says pushing my bottom lip down with his finger.

I just stare at him, still in shock over what happened even though I was definitely okay with it.

“No need to apologize love, he’s right I do like you.”

“But why?” I blurt out, immediately regretting saying it after.

“Because your a beautiful girl, with a beautiful voice, who I admire. You’ve got something special.” He says.

I point to my chest “really? Me?”

He laughs and bites his lip “yes you”

“Huh” I say unable to comprehend the things he was saying to me. “Well Mr. Page you have deemed me speechless.” I say continuing to look closer into his eyes.

He moves closer to my face “Hardly love, the only question is, are you interested in me as well?”

“What if I say yes?” I ask biting my lip.

“Well I would ask for you to stay the night with me in my hotel room. I would definitely show you a good time.” He smirks.

“And no?” I ask raising my eyebrow.

“Well that wouldn’t be very fun would it.” He says.

“Hmmm... let me weigh out my options.” I whisper as the elevator approaches the top floor.

I move away from him and enter into the master Led Zeppelin suit.

I look back at Jimmy who says “I will have you Ms. Rose.”

“And I will have a look around here.” I wink.

I accidentally run into a rather large man with some quiet messed up hair.

“Oh I’m sorry” I say embarrassed “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Not a problem girl” he says in a thick accent. “Pagey is this one with you?” He asks.

I can hear Jimmy begin to approach the conversation. “Yes G she is, her and her band played at the Whiskey tonight. We just brought them back to have a good time.”

“I see” He says “I didn’t catch your name love.”

“It’s Leila” I say extending my hand “it’s nice to meet you.”

“And you as well” he says “well don’t let me get into your guys way, I’m about to retire anyway I have some business that needs attending to in the morning.” He says.

“What business?” Jimmy asks crossing him arms.

“Nothing to worry your pretty little head about.”

“G” He says annoyed.

“Oh cool your panties Pagey, there was just a problem with... well the record company seems to be... and part of my French little one, fucking us over.” He enunciates.

“What do you mean.” Jimmy asks.

“There not giving you 25%” He says.

“What?” Jimmy says anger beginning to touch his voice “that’s what we signed for!”

“Yes well it looks like there was a mixup with the ceo. Don’t worry about it Jim, I’ll figure it out.” He says beginning to go to go down a hallway into what I can only assume to be his room.

“Do I need to attend that meeting?” Jimmy asks.

“No” he says looking back at Jimmy “I told you, I’ve got it.”

“Just keep me up updated” Jimmy says rubbing his temples.

“Will do” He says continuing to walk down the hallway.

“Who was that?” I ask “he never introduced himself.”

“That was our tour manager, Peter Grant. He never feels the need to introduce himself.” Jimmy chuckles.

“Oh that makes sense.” I say.

Yeah, and I apologize about that. For some reason we are having trouble with record labels. The one we just switched to apparently isn’t paying us what we agreed on.”

“Oh that’s annoying.” I say.

“Yeah it his.” He smiles “but enough about that. Now let’s see if there’s something here for us to have some fun with.”

#jimmy page fanfic #jimmy page #robert plant #led zeppelin #fanfic

[diddlesanddoodles]

DUMPLING (g/t fantasy)

CHAPTER EIGHT

Nenani stood on the wood table that had been set up on the far edge of the courtyard. Thankfully upwind of Bart and his helpers who were at their own table. Bart would reach down into a large barrel of water and pull out a long black wiggling creature that was easily eight feet long with a bright yellow stripe down its belly. As Yale had described, the eels had distinctly large puffy lips. They looked rather comical if they were not so huge and did not frame long sharp teeth. Bart and his ever trusty cleaver would dispatch the creature and then he would hand the twitching body to Herit, a mousy brown haired giant, who had the task of actually skinning the smelly thing and then gutting it before passing the carcass to his fellow helper. Gjerk, a red haired giant with large ears, had the task of butterflying it and flattening it before adding it to a layer of other previously processed eels. Once a layer inside the crate had been made, it was covered with copious amounts of salt. Then the process repeated.

It looked like a rough job and it certainly was not smelling that great. Even upwind, Nenani was still able to smell the stink. Even surrounded by bags and jars of spices and dried herbs, the stench persisted.

“I have no fuckin’ idea what the hell this is s’pose t’be,” muttered Yale, riffling through a bag of dried leaves. “The Queen could have had her people label this shit.”

Nenani walked closer to the bag and looked in. The leaves were small compared to a giant, looking like little flecks of green in Yale’s palms. To her, they were normal sized leaves.

“Can I see?” Nenani asked.

“Sure,” Yale said, bringing a small palm-full of the leaves down to her level. She reached out and plucked up a few of them. She lifted them up to her face and breathed in. “Don’t suppose you have any idea what these are? Just look like garden clippin’ t’me.”

“No. But they smell nice, though,” she said with a sympathetic shrug.

“Aye, that they do,” he replied with a defeated sigh. Beside him he had a book opened that he was flipping through, looking between its words and illustrations and the leaves. “I may have to ask a footman to get the Queen to identify these.”

Nenani twirled one of the leaves under her nose, enjoying the unique smell. The more she breathed it in, she began to feel as though she knew the smell. It was vaguely lemony, but also...not? She had so little exposure to herbs and the like besides whatever worked through the ports.

“...could it be Pepperwood?” she asked, the word popping into her mind. She vaguely recalled seeing some sort of herb on the docks and the Beastmen had called it Pepperwood. It had smelled lemony too.

“Pepperwood?” Yale asked. “Never heard of it. Might be.”

He flipped through the pages of the book before settling on a section almost at the very back. “...No, not Pepperwood, the veins are all wrong. But let’s see...”

He turned to a different page, studied the leaves, then the book and broke out into a wide grin. “HA! It’s Bay Laurel!”

“Bay Laurel?”

“Yep. It’s a cousin of Pepperwood,” Yale grinned, dumping the leaves in his palm back into the bag before vigorously ruffling Nenani’s hair. She had given up trying to put the blue ribbon back in her hair and her braid had come undone. So her hair was a bit of a mess. “Ya got a bit of a knack fer this, Dumplin’.”

“So...what now?” she asked, walking up to the bag and tossing her leaves back inside as Yale as done.

“Now, we label and catalog it in the inventory roster. With leaves like these, we usually put ‘em in a jar. But with this many, we’ll use a crock. Stay here, I’ll need t’go grab one from storage.”

As Yale went off to wherever the crocks were stored, Nenani walked along the table, looking at the other bags and small barrels that they would be going through and labeling. A good many spices she recognized, but didn’t know the names. The Beastmen port was an active stop for many spice traders. On hot days, the docks would smell spicy and floral, drowning out the scent of the ocean and briny seaweed along the beach. One of the open bags held large seeds the size of apples. She reached inside and picked one up. It was not as heavy as it looked like it should be, feeling hollow, but the shell was extremely hard. She lifted it to her nose and sniffed and was greeted by a deep and intense pepper like smell, but there were no floral undertones. It made her sneeze and eyes water.

A growing noise grabbed her attention and she looked up to see four giants dressed in long blue coats stride into the courtyard. They were laughing and pushing at each other, but a few steps into the square space, they all jerked as though slapped and covered their mouths and noses.

“Oi! The fuck is that?”

“Somebody die out here? Man that’s rank!”

“Fuckin’ Hells...”

Bart and his two helpers, hearing the commotion, looked up with sly grins.

“Oh, what’s the matter, lads? Thought ya liked Lippers!” Bart hollered. “Don’t much care fer how it makes it to yer plate, I take it?”

“C’mon, we can show ya how to do it yerself if ya like!” Herit jeered, waving a Lipper’s gutless body in the air.

“Don’t tell us the worse ya ever smelled was some stupid Lipper!” laughed Gjerk with a taunting wave of his hand. “A few weeks out with you boys and I bet these beauties start smellin’ pretty nice, eh?”

Bart laughed haughtily at that one, reaching over to slap the smaller giant on the back. The four blue clad giants threw angry sneers and snarls at the kitchen workers.

“Fuck off with ya stupid Lippers,” snarled one.

“Wave that thing at me again, boy, and I’ll hang ya over the walls.”

Gjerk just grinned. “Try again, Thrist. Lolly’s already used that one on us.”

“Fuck off with ya y’cheeky little shit,” replied the blue coat.

“Aye, careful now. Best watch yer words,” Herit said, setting the eel down and wiping his bloody hands on his apron, gesturing towards Nenani with his head. “We’ve got orders not to teach the Dumplin’ any bad words and all. She’s all impressionable like, y’know.”

“Th’fuck are you on about?” asked one of the blue coats. However, two of the guards had followed Herit’s head gesture and looked over to where Nenani was standing, breaking out into their own sly grins when they caught sight of her. They tapped their fellows’ shoulders, pointing Nenani out. “Oh-ho-oh! So you’ve got yourselves some new meat, eh boys?”

They started towards Nenani’s table. Behind them, she saw Bart smack Herit over the head and hiss something at him before calling out to the four blue coats. “Best leave the lil’un alone, boys. That one belongs to Farris.”

Two of them paused, sensing the grave warning in those words, but the other two were already at the table, looming over the small girl who could only stand there in nervous fidgets. She remembered the King’s words and felt the weight of the marker around her neck. They wouldn’t hurt her.

She hoped.    

“And what’s a little thing like ya doing down here, hm?” asked one of the giants, bending down close and making Nenani scramble back. He just laughed at her. His breath was foul smelling and his teeth were a sickly yellow. “Ah, now. Ya scared a’me, lil’lass?”

“No,” she replied definitively, trying to keep any clue to her fear from her voice.

He chuckled, brows narrowing, and lips pulling back further into a grim smile. “Ah, now that’s a lie. I can see ya quakin’ in yer little skirts there.”

“And ya should be. Know what these colors mean?” asked the other giant, pulling on the collar of his blue coat. “Ya don’t be seeing any a’the guards wearin’ it, eh? Blue’s for th’Rangers.”

“And us blue Rangers are a quite the ruthless bunch,” said the other, face still uncomfortably close. “Know what our jobs use t’be when the old King was still kickin’?”

She shook her head, fear squirming in her belly and wishing Yale would come back. She clutched the round seed in her hand, knuckles turning white. A faint memory prickling at the back of her mind. She remember a cold night, a blue coat giant, and bright green eyes...

The giant with yellow teeth suddenly rose up, one hand sweeping in and grabbing her up from the table, paying her alarmed squeaking no mind. He held her up, watching her kick and beat at his hand with sick glee. His eyes bore into her and in there depths was a predatory hunger that sent waves of dread through her.

“We use to hunt you little buggers down fer the King. Kept a few of ya fer ourselves, a’course,” he said, licking his lips with a long draw of his tongue, and clearly enjoying the girl’s fear. “What’ve ya got to say about that, my little morsel?”

He opened his mouth wide and started lowering her down.

Her mind went blank. She beat the seed against the giant’s hand, desperate to get away, and pulling at the fingers around her chest as he pulled her closer. She huffed, glared at the giant, and yelled as loud as she could manage, “FUCK OFF!”

The giant paused and he glared at her in slight confusion. And then she threw the seed at the giant’s face, hitting him square in the left eye.

“AUGH!”

The fingers around her disappeared and she felt the wave of sickening weightlessness as she plummeted downward. She bounced off the giant’s chest, rolling and flipping and landing on a decidedly not hard surface. Green leaves exploded around her and the world disappeared. The smell of Bay Laurel let her know where she had landed, but her heart was hammering in her chest and her head was spinning.

“O-oi! Thrist, ya okay?!”

“AUGH! YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT, I’LL KILL YA FER THAT! YOU’RE FUCKING LUNCH!” The table shook as large angry fists pounded onto the wood. Nenani fought her way out of the leaves that buried her in time to see the angry and red faced blue coat, Thrist, lock onto her. His mouth twisted into a snarl, spittle flying, and suddenly all Nenani could see was the large hand reaching for her. She froze…

Bart appeared at Thrist’s side and grabbed the blue coat’s arm and shoulder and twisted. He pinned the arm behind the Ranger’s back and pulled him away from the table. “I told’ya t’leave the lil’un alone, boy,” he said, voice deceptively calm. “Should have listened. I know you Rangers are a tad unorthodox in yer dealings and all, but surely Keral’s trained ya mutts on how to take orders now?”

“LET GO A’ ME, YA FUCKING SCAB! I’LL RIP YER FUCKING BALLS OFF!”

“Wrong answer, lad.” Bart jerked his grip on Thrist’s arm up, making the man practically squeal for mercy. “Now, I’m gonna give ya back yer arm. And you and yer boys are gonna go back to yer boss and tell him yer all in some dire need of a good arse kickin’. And ya can be sure I’ll be askin’ ‘im about it later. Now do as the lil’lass suggested...” he trailed off for a moment before sneering and growling into the blue coat’s ear, “...and kindly fuck off. Before I take your suggestion and rip yer balls off.”

Bart released his arm, pushing back and away from the table before putting himself between Nenani and the blue coats. He only moved away once the four had rounded the corner and out of the courtyard. Bart peaked back over his shoulder, expression curious. “Still in one piece there, Dumplin’?”

“...uh-huh,” she replied weakly, still shaken. “T-thank you...”

Bart spared her a smile. “Just do us all a favor and save our ears from Lolly. Don’t let ‘er hear ya talk like that, eh?”

Nenani nodded, trying to will her heart back to a normal rhythm.  

“There’s a good girl,” he replied before walking back to Herit and Gjerk and the Lippers. Yale reemerged from from the kitchens, a glazed crock under one arm, just as the blue coats left. He jogged back over to the table as Nenani was trying to gather the spilled Bay Laurel.  

“What was that all about?” he asked, putting down the crock and looking concerned. Nenani paused with an armful of the leaves, trying to think of something to say. Yale raised an eyebrow.

“Uh...I said a bad word,” she said. “Don’t tell Lolly.”

Yale cracked a confused smile. “And the Rangers?”

Nenani frowned. “...they’re the reason I said the bad word.”

Yale’s bemused look turned sour and he turned to Bart. “Do I need to get Farris, Bart?”

“All taken care of,” Bart replied, going about his task. “Dumplin’ got one hell of a throwin’ arm on ‘er.”

Yale looked back down at Nenani, unamused. “I’m not getting the full story here. And I’ve getting the impression it’s gonna end with Farris ripping apart a blue coat.”

“Better than that,” Bart called back. “Gonna be gettin’ Keral on their tails.”

Yale laughed darkly. “Well, I’m satisfied with that. You’ll still be owin’ me a story, though, Dumplin’. What’d they do?”

She bit her lip, avoiding Yale’s gaze. “...one of them tried to eat me.”

“WHAT?!”

……………………………….

After Bart had calmed Yale down, physically having to restrain him from running off after the Rangers, Bart assured him that whatever he had planned was nothing compared to what this Keral person could manage. After a moment, Yale conceded and returned to his work. But not before making sure Nenani was in fact whole and unharmed, free of any bite marks.  

“I’m okay!” she told him after the third time he demanded she turn around. “I promise!”

“Don’t care,” Yale grumbled, gesturing for her to turn once more. “Lift your arms.”

She sighed and did as instructed, but as she raised her arms, Yale’s dour expression became murderous. He reached out, gently grasping her left arm between his fingers. She had a bruise just above her elbow.

Yale growled at the sight, but his tone was soft when he spoke. “Does it hurt?”

“Nope,” she replied. “That’s an old bruise.”

“Where’d you get this one?”

“A port master tried to throw me off the docks,” she replied causally. The morning that she had fallen into the persimmon basket, she had spent looking for unwatched goods that she might sneak for a snack. One of the beastmen had caught her sniffing about his cargo and had grabbed her arm and tossed her away. She managed to keep herself from falling into the water, but only just.

“What?” Yale asked. “Why?”

“I was looking for food,” she answered. “I got caught.”

Yale sighed with a displeased scowl.

“And no one from yer village took ya in or nothin’?” He asked. “After ya were left all alone?”

She shook her head. “No. They...thought it was my fault. The fire.”

Yale’s somber expression turned incredulous. “What now? Why would they think that?”

“They said I was cursed,” she replied with a sad frown. “And I was bad luck and dangerous.”

“Well, yer village sounds like its full of right stupid gits,” Yale scoffed.

“You don’t think I could be cursed?” she asked.  

“You?” he asked with an incredulous grin and a laugh. Yale put his hands on his hips and titled his head in amusement. “Sorry to laugh, Dumplin’. But yer a lil’ small fer me to be considerin’ ya anythin’ close to dangerous. Gonna have t’forgive me if I ain’t tremblin’ at the sight of ya.”

Oddly enough, that made her feel better.

#DUMPLING #gt #g/t #gt story #fantasy #Nenani #Yale #Blue coat rangers #Bart #Lippers #giants #tiny #humans

[swipestream]

Sensor Sweep: Celtic Fantasy, Donald Wollheim, Creepy Magazine, Hideous Creatures

Popular Culture (Men of Violence): Historical fiction special! Vikings! Roman soldiers! Pirates! Swash-buckling soldiers of fortune!68 pages, all colour, packed with reproductions of rare and unusual paperbacks.Articles, reviews, interviews and features on Casca, Gardner Fox, Henry Treece, Talbot Mundy, Rosemary Sutcliff, Rafael Sabatini and forgotten cover artists.

        Fiction (DMR Books): Awhile back, Dave Ritzlin here at the DMR blog asked me to recommend some good Celtic fantasy fiction. Today being Celtic New Year’s Day, it seemed appropriate to start off the New Year with a list of quality Celtic fiction.

To be honest, I can’t say that I like the vast majority of the fantasy which has been marketed or labeled as “Celtic.” As the late, great Steve Tompkins noted long, long ago, “cheapjack Celticism” has reigned o’er the land of Celtic fantasy since at least the 1980s. Languid, matriarchal tree-huggery tends to be the order of the day in most “Celtic” fiction, with the authors in question either being pig-ignorant of Celtic history and culture or cherry-picking to suit their (boring) take on the subject. 

  Fiction (DMR Books): Don Wollheim died on November 2, 1990, leaving behind him a sword and sorcery legacy that has never been matched. In the rarefied Valhalla of S&S editors/publishers, Wollheim sits enthroned at the high table. He debuted or “broke out”–as in, “their first big splash in the paperback market”–more enduring and important characters in the S&S

  pantheon than any other editor/publisher. It is as simple as that.

  Anime (Walker’s Retreat): Any Space Opera taking queues from Japan will not fail to acknowledge the Macross franchise. Starting in 1982 with Super Dimension Fortress Macross (which many of you known as the most popular part of Robotech), this is the #2 Real Robot franchise in Japan and has been since its debut (following the king that is Gundam). The consistent presence music as a power unto itself, the love triangles that drive the relationships, and their combination in the form of music that has now had inter-generational influence in anison and J-pop (and brought about the rise of Living Goddess Yoko Kanno).

  Lovecraft and Gaming (Yog-Sothoth.com): My latest scrape of the internet reveals that Hideous Creatures: A Bestiary of the Cthulhu Mythos for Trail of Cthulhuhas been released. Kind of. Hideous Creatures… is officially on pre-order at Pelgrane’s web site, but an article comment reveals that you’ll receive the PDF as soon as you place the pre-order for the print edition. – That means it’s out. – The content is there for you to purchase and peruse now; the fact it’s digital bits rather than the 352 page hardback doesn’t alter the content (just the way it may be consumed). If you’re after a new bestiary of Cthulhoid creatures then have a look at Hideous Creatures… Pelgrane promises you something a little different.

Books (Atomic Junk Shop): Your Favorite Book Cover:

Oh my God that is an awful question for someone like me. I can’t decide. It really depends on the genre and the artist and what kind of mood I’m in that day. The best I can do is narrow it down to a few favorite artists. I think the artist that perfectly captured the spirit of the story more than anyone else is Gino d’Achille with his covers for the Edgar Rice Burroughs Mars books.

Fiction (Frontier Partisans): I was in the mood for some fun, for a read that strums the right chords but isn’t related to a project or anything that feels like work. That can be a problem for me. I tend to put way too much weight on my choices of fiction. Pondering this in preparation for Running Iron Report podcasts, I realized that I kind of expect a novel to rock my world, always seeking that visceral hit that I got when I was young and a novel would go to my head like strong wine. Chasing the high and most often finding myself dissatisfied.

It’s why I read very little fiction these days. I really don’t read just for funanymore. And that’s just stupid. I needed to get out of my own way and simply enjoy a yarn.

Over the weekend, I kept running across an author named Jonathan French and a book titled The Grey Bastards.

  Comic Books (Paint Monk): Robert E. Howard is best known, and deservedly so, for Conan of Cimmeria, but he was a prolific author who wrote in several genres. While he arguably created the sword and sorcery tale, he also hammered out a staggering amount of pulp fiction, including westerns, boxing stories, detective yarns, and horror tales.

One of his best horror works was “Out of the Deep”, posthumously published in Magazine of Horror #18in their November 1967 issue.

  Fiction (Tellers of Weird Tales): Before Spider-Man and Superman, before Marvel and DC, even before comic books, there was the word superhero. (1) My hypothesis is that the word and the concept originated in the 1890s, give or take a decade, just as so much of our popular culture originated at that time. In order to test my hypothesis, I have used an online search engine/database/index of newspapers dating to the nineteenth century. I can’t say that the newspaper articles I have found were actually the earliest occurrences in print of the following words. Even if they’re not, my guess is that they’re close, as ideas, concepts, and memes seem to arise at a certain time, often in a certain place, and in a certain society or culture.

  Cinema (Sacnoth’s Scriptorium): John Boorman’s Lord of the Rings

In 1970, The Lord of the Rings was everywhere, its eco-friendly escapism dovetailing neatly with the communal mindset of the post-Woodstock era. A film was inevitable, and rights-holder United Artists turned to John Boorman, a British director with a passion for Arthurian fantasy and – more importantly – a moderate hit under his belt in Point Blank. Joining forces with the young screenwriter Rospo Pallenberg, Boorman turned out a script that covers all three books, runs to 178 pages and is, without question, one of the weirdest documents in existence.

  Comic Books (Pulp Archivist): In 1947’s Writer’s Digest, Stan Lee, then editor of Timely Comics, writes in his “There’s Money in Comics”:

One point which I can’t stress too strongly is: DON’T WRITE DOWN TO YOUR READERS! It is common knowledge that a large portion of comic magazine readers are adults, and the rest of the readers who may be kids are generally pretty sharp characters.

  Comic Books (Paint Monk): Few comics had the impact on me that Creepy did. The first issue I got my hands on was issue 4 of the magazine, dated August of 1965. I hadn’t even been born yet when this issue dropped, but I happened upon it at a flea market we used to visit when I was a kid and remember vividly seeing that Frank Frazetta cover for the first time.

  Gaming (Niche Gamer): Publisher Skybound Games has announced they’ve cancelled the planned physical release of Hollow Knight.

The August-announced retail version of the game is now longer happening. Here’s a statement from Skybound:

“We are saddened to share that we’ll no longer be working with Team Cherry to bring Hollow Knight to new platforms. We absolutely love the game and wish Team Cherry continued success. We look forward to seeing what’s next for them.”

Here’s a rundown on the game:

  Popular Culture (Kairos): Author JD Cowan offers a grim prognosis on the fate of pop culture based on Hollywood’s manifest inability to connect with its audience.

The Predator is a shallow, spiritually dead movie of stolen imagination and rehashed ideas with a message that could only have been thought up by someone too pathetic to grow up beyond adolescence. And it was written by someone who was there when the original film was being made. And not a talentless man, either. He wrote the original two (and best) Lethal Weapon films as well as Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. He knows action and how to give the audience what they want.

    Sensor Sweep: Celtic Fantasy, Donald Wollheim, Creepy Magazine, Hideous Creatures published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[allspark]

In a twist holiday surprise this weekend, spinning into the Allspark Studios today are none other than fellow Wreckers, Topspin and Twin Twist!  I don’t want to jump the gun before starting this review, but you definitely want to check out the pics to see why this duo is a must add to your shelves!

The Jumpstarters were a favorite of mine as a kid.  32 years ago, my great aunt Faye gave me Twin Twist for Christmas and I loved him the moment I saw him.  He had arm articulation, a wicked gun, a weird alt-mode, and a pullback feature that worked nicely, even if I never was good at getting him to jump and land on his feet (Did anyone ever get that to work?)  I thought he was a lot of fun, even though I was never able to complete the team.  I was surprised to find years later when I joined the fandom that most people didn’t really have the love for the toy that I did.  It really seemed like I was one of two people in the entire fandom that loved the Jumpstarters (I’m looking at you, guy who used Twin Twist for troop building).

Over time, their status as Wreckers and their inclusion in the comics has appeared to raise their approval with fans.  The release of the Titans returns molds generated excitement online, and it finally feels like they both have the toys they deserve…at least from the POV of a former 9-year-old kid who has loved them for roughly 30 years.

  Twin Twist

I am going to start the review with the bot that is closest to my 9-year-old heart.  Let’s take a look at Twin Twist, then we will highlight the differences between him and Topspin, since they are basically the same mold. (editor’s note: This order has nothing to do with the fact I owned him as a child. 😉 )

  Vehicle Mode

Twin Twist’s vehicle mode is that of a Cybertronian drill tank, just as you would expect.  Many of the details on the G1 mold were realized via stickers, and this version does a fantastic job recreating those characteristics in plastic form, such as the vents, the front of the cockpit, and the chest panels.  Added updates/changes are colored treads, which are located closer to the center of the tank, and arrow shaped tips on the drill bits, as well as a clearly defined cockpit.

As one of the few figures I had as a kid, the updates were a mixed bag.  I realize your mileage may vary, but for me, this figure both looks like and does not look like the figure I loved and cherish.  I think the detail that throws the look off is the placement of the treads.  They are too far to the center, with too much hanging off the back of the vehicle.  That being said, it’s a change I have had to accept.  There is no way to get the amazing robot mode we get without placing those treads where they are, and I have had to come to grips with that.  The only real and minor downside to the vehicle mode is that his Titanmaster partner, Flameout, doesn’t fit perfectly inside the cockpit without a little some work.  You have to lean him back as far as you can, and even push his head backwards a bit.  Even then, it’s a very snug fit.  In spite of that small issue, the vehicle mode is fun, and looks enough like the original, with a bit of creative license thrown in.  While it is “off” by just a bit, I have come to love it almost the same as the classic vehicle mode.

Transformation

Rotate the feet out on the back of the tank.  Separate and pull out the legs and close the backs in over the them.  Rotate the body at the waist.  Flip the treads over towards the top of the vehicle as far as they can go.  Bend the body over at the waist, popping the lower section of the body off of the chest section.  Pull the arms out from the side at the shoulders.  Open the cockpit and rotate the drill section up as far as it will go.  Rotate the torso a full 180 degrees along the panel that forms the chest. Flip the cockpit down and then rotate the lower body back up into the chest until it clicks into place.  Open the panels on the front of the arms and pull the forearms out, while flipping the hands out as well, then close the panels to fully form the arms.  Flip the air vent panels forward on the legs to form kneepads, then add Titanmaster Flameout as the head and Twin Twist is ready for battle!

  Robot Mode

You know, the tread placement is also a minor issue here.  They are too high on the arm, and hang too far back.  But you know what else?  I don’t care.  His colors and every other aspect of his design are pretty spot on.  Additionally, between the big guns, the great poseability, and the lack of stickers that the voyagers in this line suffer from (your stickers suck, Hasbro), Twin Twist is pretty much a home run.  The Takara run of this mold appears to have a few additional minor details added via paint opps, but honestly, if you just get the Hasbro version, you really aren’t getting shorted at all, unless the Targetmasters coming with the Legends figures are important to you.

The aforementioned articulation is everything we have come to expect from Generations figures, perhaps a little more.  Both Jumpstarters have all the usual joints, but none of the negatives that sometimes come with said joints, such as parts that easily pop out of place or movement that is hindered by some part of the alternate mode kibble.  I really can’t find a true negative, even a minor complaint.  These guys are perfect.

Topspin

The same ideas on the updates to Twin Twist apply to Topspin.  I want to thank Hasbro for not putting any chrome or stickers on these guys, especially Topspin.  It would have been easy to do, but it would have ruined them for me.

Topspin clearly becomes a Cybertronian spaceship/fighter.  Having re-read the tech specs for both figures prior to writing this review, I really think the original bio was stretching to call his front end “pontoons” and have him being a land/water vehicle.  This is a boat that would have quickly sunk, so he will always be a space fighter to me.

Topspin’s robot mode is, again, just what you would expect.  He is well balanced, with great articulation, and he looks ever closer to his G1 version than Twin Twist does.  What’s not to love?

Weapons and Upgrades

The Jumpstarters’ guns plug into the underside of the wings in official photos.  There are several other holes along the vehicle where they fit, however, so you can set them as you like.  Twin Twist’s weapons can store nicely on the side of his tank treads in robot mode, if you take the half circle tab at the back of the gun and plug it into the thin area at the top of the treads between the large and small triangular shapes.  Topspin’s guns tab in nicely into the front of his wings in robot mode as well.  This will allow you to augment their arsenal with aftermarket items, while not misplacing the commercial accessories.

I can confirm in the pictures below that if you have the Mech Ideas 3rd party Jumpstarters, you can use the Wreckers hammers with the Titans Returns versions of the characters.  Perhaps you’d like to make few more upgrades, like G1 accurate details?

A stop at Toyhax (their stickers don’t suck) for some additional details and these guys are close to perfect.  Can you say, Wrecker’s sigil?

Twin Twist set:https://toyhax.com/for-titans-ret/2370-labels-for-tr-twintwist.html

Topspin set: https://toyhax.com/for-titans-ret/2325-labels-for-tr-top-spin.html

I personally really want guns like the ones the original toys came with, so I just ordered retro styled blasters from Nonnef.

Jumpstarter Weapons set: https://www.nonnef.com/collections/tf/products/jumpstarter-tr

I do not yet have any of these upgrades, but I will definitely get some comparison pics in for you once the Takara versions of these molds finally hit stateside.

For those of you that like to swap parts and want a (reasonably cheap) custom, buy an extra set and do this to expand your Jumpstarter team:

    Saltman!

I would like to close out this review by reminding Hasbro that we could really use some repaints of these molds, and that the Saltman Z color schemes would be a great thing to use as an online/store exclusive. 😉

Overall Thoughts

I really enjoy what Has/Tak have done with my favorite childhood Transformers duo.  The alterations are minor, but acceptable.  The vehicle and robot modes are near perfect.  Added bonus is a set of Titanmasters that do not detract from the figures in any way.  The transformations are nicely complex without being frustrating, and all the parts stay locked in place nicely in both modes.  These figures are great, and while I know I say this a lot, they are sure to please a fan of any age (ages 8 and up).

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!  Enjoy the rest of the pics!

  Titans Return Topspin and Twin Twist Gallery and Review! In a twist holiday surprise this weekend, spinning into the Allspark Studios today are none other than fellow Wreckers, Topspin and Twin Twist! 

#CHUG #Classics #Combiner Wars #Flameout #Freezeout #Generations #Legends #Power of the Primes #TF #Titammasters #Titans Return #Topspin #Twin Twist