#(tagging mutuals if you wanna share :P)

[auteurdelabre]

A Little Sun Part 3.1 - Dieter!Bravo x f!Reader

part one / part two

rating: 18+ (MINORS GET OUTTA HERE OR I'M TELLIN' YOUR MAMAS)

Story Summary: As a PA to megastar and mega man-child Dieter Bravo you've had your fair share of headaches. Getting accidentally pregnant with his baby however takes the cake, especially when he offers to pay you to be his surrogate. You just weren't expecting to fall in love with him along the way.

tags: Surrogacy, Pregnancy, Body changes re: pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Idiots in love, P in V, Dirty talk, Unprotected Sex, Romance, Oral (f receiving), Cigarettes, Drugs, Mentions of Parental Death, Vulnerable Dieter, Vulnerable Reader.

a/n: y'all I'm really annoyed because tumblr won't let me post the entire chapter in one post because of whatever reason. So if you wanna read it all in one go, I'm posting it to my A03.

dividers by @silkholland

A LITTLE SUN

You burst into the house, kicking off your shoes and throwing your purse down onto the couch. Dieter looks up from his place on the chaise longue by the fireplace. 

"What?"

"Some old guy in the coffee shop overheard I was pregnant and he told me that I shouldn't drink decaf coffee and then he touched my fucking stomach."

"What?" Dieter is immediately on his feet, fists curling. A strange feeling has passed over him, this protective and strangely possessive feeling. You're his. You're carrying his baby. 

"Yeah and I was in such shock that I just let him. I fucking hate this," you say pressing your lips together tightly as you exhale through your nose. "As soon as your pregnant people suddenly feel like they have the right to touch you and give you unsolicited advice. It's so gross."

"I'm sorry," Dieter says, fighting the urge to touch your stomach himself. 

It's barely even three months and you're not showing. He hasn't actually touched you anywhere other than your hand since that first time he cradled your stomach. 

You see the way his dark eyes dart from your stomach to your face and back again. Can see the twitching in his fingertips as he thinks about it. 

"You can touch it," you tell him. "You won't feel anything but you can touch it."

Dieter is immediately at your side, his wide hand going to your belly. You'd expected him to go over the shirt so when his hand slides up your t-shirt to rest over your bare skin you're surprised.

You go to say something but you still when you see his face. His eyes are closed, brows saddled in concentration. It's impossibly sweet. And there's something comforting about his warm palm on your skin, a feeling you can't quite place. 

"Wish I could feel him moving."

"Won't be for a few months yet," you tell him. 

Dieter gives a thoughtful hum in response. His thumb slowly drags across your skin and you feel your breathing hitch for a moment. Up close you see the length of his dark lashes, the fullness of his mouth. Has he always been this handsome? Or is it the hormones? 

You pull his hand from under your shirt. "Okay that's enough." 

“I said I am.”

“I never see you with it.”

“Jesus, Dieter! Do you want me to pull it out of my room?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

You storm into your bedroom, grabbing the yellow object from beside your bed and bringing it back into the living room where your boss/surrogate benefactor is waiting with his arms crossed.

“I told you, I put it on my belly every night. The baby hears your fucking Bravo mix tape every goddam night.”

“Every single night?” Dieter says disbelief. “What about Friday? You came home super late from that PA after works drink thing.”

“Dieter it was eleven when I got in,” you say rolling your eyes. “Besides, I don’t think the baby will suffer if it misses one or two-“

“I KNEW IT!” Dieter shouts animatedly. “You did skip a few days!”

In all honesty you’ve skipped plenty of days. Wearing those stupid fucking headphones over your belly is uncomfortable and boring as shit. You always read when you wear them because sleeping on your back is something you want to save for when you have no other choice. But lately you’ve been more tired and reading has been swapped for more sleeping.

Dieter looks beside himself as he begins pacing up and down the hallway, muttering to himself about being lied to. You recognize the signs almost immediately, shocked you overlooked them so easily before. Dieter is anxious. While most curl into or sequester themselves away, Dieter has always been a ball of anxiety that lashes out, fixating on everything other than himself.

“Dieter.”

“What?”

“What are you anxious about?”

Dieter pauses, face contorted into a defensive pose, lower lip stuck out. You almost hear his petulant: I’m not anxious. But the longer he stares at you the longer he realizes that you know him better than most. He just shakes his head, unable to formulate what has his insides doing a tap dance.

 “I know something’s wrong,” you tell him as you shuffle over to him and he’s relieved and thankful to see there’s no animosity there in the depth of your eyes. Without thinking you reach out and take one of his hands in yours and he notes your palm is freezing.

“Nothing,” he mutters to himself. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

He sees the hurt pass over your face for a fraction for a second and he’s quick to clasp your hand tightly. “Is that okay?”

“Of course,” you say, retracting your hand.  “Why don’t you go in the studio and paint for a bit? Enjoy your day off.”

Dieter nods, padding off to his workspace while you give a sigh. You can tell something is up with him, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. It makes you ache for him in a way, knowing that he’s holding something so close to the chest. Normally he tells you everything.

By four months you need to fuck something.

Toys aren't cutting it. You need a good fucking. You’ve decided that Josh will be a nice choice. You two have been fooling around a bit on set when you’re not being ordered around by Dieter who suddenly seems to need you every second you’re there.

So far it’s all over the pants stuff with Josh; mostly because you’re paranoid he’ll see your bare stomach and declare you pregnant. You don’t know why this concerns you, you don’t even look pregnant. Maybe a slightly swollen quality, but only you or Dieter (or your Mom!) would know the difference.

He doesn’t like you hanging around Josh and you can only assume it’s because Dieter doesn’t like to share his toys. You’re having his baby and so in his mind he gets to dictate everything. It’s fucking driving you insane.

You decide to approach Dieter about it directly, not wanting to bother the lawyer with this sort of thing. It seems embarrassing to have to go about it in this fashion, almost as if you have to ask permission for something quite personal. But this scenario is  new and you’re not exactly what’s within the realm of appropriate.

You find him painting in one of the rooms, cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he listens to some strange grunge band from Japan. You lower the volume as you enter. 

"Can we talk?"

Dieter turns, brows raised. "What's up?"

You look nervous, face warm and your fingers nervously drumming at your side. 

"Dieter, we uh, we never talked about one thing in the contract."

Dieter lowers the paintbrush, going to the sink to wash his hands as he waits for you to continue. 

"What's that?'

Fuck you feel awkward about this. How do you mention to your boss that you wanna go get laid? Your cheeks are heating and you nudge your toe absently against the doorframe.

"Uh, if it was okay if I wanted to go out with someone?"

"You want to date someone?" Dieter looks horrified, the cigarette dropping from his gaped mouth onto the floor. He retrieves it quickly, tossing it into the sink behind him before turning back to fix you with a glare. "I've known you for two years and you've gone on maybe three dates in all that time. Now you're pregnant and suddenly you want a boyfriend?"

"Not a boyfriend," you say quietly. "Just uh... a…"

"A hook-up?"

"Yeah."

"No fucking way!" Dieter insists much too forcefully for a man who tries to continually convince himself that he doesn’t want to fuck you himself. "Too dangerous! You could end up with a creep! What about the baby?!"

You roll your eyes. "Obviously I would be careful."

"No," Dieter shakes his head. "Too risky. What if they find out you work for me and ransom you?"

“It’s some-“ you stop yourself from giving too much away. “It’s not risky. I feel safe about it.”

“Well I don’t.”

A stand off about who you can fuck. Is this a joke?

"Dieter I'm really just giving you a heads up as a courtesy," you say icily. "You don’t control what goes in my vagina.”

Dieter blinks back his surprise a moment. You’ve never spoken to him like that. He can only assume that this is pregnancy hormones so he lets it slide. However, he’s still irritated about that annoying Josh hanging all over you. You turn to walk away from him.

"Well then as your boss," Dieter bites back, "I'm telling you that you can't fuck your little PA friend."

You stop your walking, turning to face him with a face contorted in rage.

"What?"

"You think I'm blind?" Dieter scoffs as he lights a fresh cigarette. "You think I don’t see you and that PA Josh making eyes at each other?”

You hate how he says PA, like Josh is pathetic for having the very job you yourself have. Not shocking – has Dieter ever really seen you as more than an extension of himself? More than the woman who plans his days and picks up his dry cleaning? Never.

"Dieter who else is there? He's the only single, straight guy near my age in this town!”

Dieter just stares at you, the end of his cigarette a red flare in the semi darkness. You throw up your hands in irritation, giving a growl and walking into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

///

BabiEDucate

15 weeks

Cravings: DICK. Also pickles - Related?

Missing: SEX. GETTING FUCKED.

You try not to let the sex thing override the rest of your enjoyment of this beautiful land. Ireland is stunning from the moment you wake up until you go to bed. You’ve met the nicest people on set, you and the makeup girls go to the pub every Friday. You always order for the group and you always lie and say you’re having a rum and coke, but it’s really just a coke.

You think about inviting Josh over here tonight. So far it's been frantic kissing against pub walls and one remarkably disappointing phone sex experience that left you more frustrated than anything.

You're just so paranoid he's going to be able to tell you're pregnant that you've been holding back.

Plus there’s the whole Dieter thing.

“Mia and Dieter are working on a night scene tomorrow night,” Josh murmurs to you as you hang to the side one afternoon on set. You’re both hidden away from the actors who had broken for lunch. “Should give us plenty of time if we want to hang out.”

“Hang out?” you say with a flirtatious smirk up at him. “Is that what the kids are calling it?”

“Fucking your brains out then?” Josh huffs against your ear as goosebumps rise along your neck.

“Sounds great,” you nod.

“Let’s go to yours,” Josh suggests. “Mia and the crew are at some fancy hotel and they’ve all got big mouths. Dieter’s the big movie star with his own rental.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow at seven.”

///

Everything you own is ugly.

Plus you have a headache. Plus you look bloated and your tits fucking ache. You pull at the tights and cute babydoll dress you threw on hours ago because it was the only thing you owned that sort of hides the growing expansion of your midsection and isn’t sweatpants. You look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, applying some lip-gloss before sighing.

All this work just to get laid.

You look down at your stomach, frowning as you mutter quietly. “You’re already a pain in the ass and you’re barely bigger than a bell pepper.”

You give a roll of your eyes at yourself in the mirror before flicking off the lights and heading back out to the kitchen. Josh sits there with a beer giving you an expectant smile as you approach.

Dinner was nice enough (he brought thai food), the conversation free-flowing. You told Josh you didn’t want to drink since you had a bit of a migraine. Not a total lie. He brought you flowers, which is incredibly kind and also annoying because you’ll have to hide them in your room lest Dieter see them.

But you don’t want flowers and wine and seduction. You thought you’d already laid the groundwork for that. But here Josh is trying to ask questions about your family and life back home and all you can think about is the minutes ticking by where you’re not getting fucked.

“Let’s move to the couch,” you suggest casually. “I think I have a documentary on sharks recorded.”

“Yeah, lets,” Josh says smiling eagerly.

There we go.

Within minutes the two of you are on the couch making out. Josh has one leg between yours, his hands on either side of your face. He’s muttering something about how good you feel but you’re distracted, concerned that he can feel your stomach.

You wonder if you could suggest doggy style. That's the only position you think could work where he wouldn't see your stomach. You thought about passing it off as a food baby, but you don't want to take the chance.

He urges your hand to keep palming him through his jeans as he kisses you. He tastes like the wine he brought and the mints Dieter leaves laying around everywhere. Your hand goes there, feeling his length and sighing. You can’t wait to feel him inside you.

“You want daddy to give you more?” Josh hums against your lips before his tongue invades your mouth.

Daddy? Ugh. Mood killer.

"You gonna-"

Whatever Josh was about to say dies on his tongue as the door to the cottage opens. Dieter’s head swings around just in time to see Josh's hand covering yours on the vee of his jeans, your bodies practically melded together.

"Get out," Dieter barks, his eyes wild. He literally races over to you both on the couch, glowering over Josh like an overprotective father.  “Get away from her.”

Josh pulls away from you instantly, his entire face blanching. You reach for Josh as he stands abruptly. He's all mumbling apologies, pulling on his jacket and brushing past a very confused Mia who has just come in.

"What the fuck?" You say struggling to a stand. Your belly makes you go off kilter and you shake off Dieter's hand as he steadies you.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking it was my night off and I wanted to enjoy it!" You explain angrily. "And you just chased off my date!"

"Your date?" Dieter looks beside himself with agitation. "Since when? We had an agreement!"

“Agreement? You mean order!”

You throw your hands up, wanting to punch Dieter squarely in the jaw. Instead you simply shake your head and shoulder past him to go to your bedroom.  He tries calling your name but you ignore him, slamming the bedroom door behind you.

Mia watches this scene, her large eyes curious. "Dieter what am I missing here?"

"Huh?" Dieter whirls around in a spin. "Nothing."

"Then why did you just scare off my assistant?"

"Because I …He … She’s not..." Dieter waves his hand in the air, trying to explain himself. "I don't want my assistant fucking around with yours."

"Why?"

"It's not professional," Dieter insists, his face gloomy. "What if it got back to set?"

"I don't think they'd care," Mia laughs softly. "Are you just perhaps a bit overprotective of her?"

"Yes."

"Because of the baby?"

"Because- wait, what?"

Mia brings her jacket off her shoulders, hanging it up. "I'm a woman, Dieter. I have sisters. I know a pregnant woman when I see it."

Dieter pauses, considering what to say. He recalls Diane's instructions before you left for Ireland.

"Yeah she's pregnant. She's religious so she's keeping it but she doesn't want anyone to know," Dieter explains.

"Oh," Mia nods.

"I just don't want her hurt." Dieter tries to look sorrowful. "I've known her for a while and yeah, I guess I don't want anyone messing with her. I don't really know Josh or his intentions. I don’t want things to get messy."

"I totally get it," Mia says placing a hand to his forearm. "That's so sweet of you to care about your staff like that."

Dieter shrugs, smiling softly.

"I'll tell Josh to back off," Mia promises.

"Thanks," Dieter says warmly. "I'd appreciate that."

“You still wanna practice those lines for tomorrow?” Mia asks gently, her eyes warm as she glances at the bottle of wine Josh brought. “I see they left some wine.”

“Yeah,” Dieter smiles. “That sounds perfect.”

Josh isn't returning your calls anymore. When you see him on set he's totally polite but there's no more flirting, no more stolen kisses. You figure after the embarrassment of the other evening he’s steering clear of getting caught up in that mess. You can’t blame him. But you miss the attention, you miss the thrill.

In a few short months you won’t be able to hide that you’re pregnant and then after you give birth you’ll need months for recovery before you’re willing to put yourself back out on the dating scene.

Not that you were that big on the dating scene to begin with. If it wasn’t school it was working for Dieter. You had a few flings, a few whirlwind romances that left your body sated but your mind craving more. You try touching yourself in the bath or in the shower, in your bed. Nothing is working. There’s something primal about another person touching you that your hormones are craving.

You and Dieter haven’t spoken about that night with Josh since it happened. You had no desire to rehash the humiliation and in all honesty, you were wrong to do it here in a home that is more Dieter’s than it is yours. You should have gone to Josh’s if you wanted privacy, but you’d been so horny you hadn’t realized that. 

You’re still dutiful in his scheduling and a week later the two of you are heading into Dublin so Dieter can have an on-air interview with a popular Irish radio personality. He’s nervous about it, tapping his fingers along his bouncing knee in the back of the limo they sent.

“So steer clear of politics obviously,” you say as you tap onto the tablet reading the notes Diane sent. “Diane says that she’ll be out here next week to go over your interview strategies for Graham Norton. Apparently you’re flying over there for an overnight.”

“I assume you’ll be hanging back for that,” Dieter says flatly.

“Yeah, you don’t need both me and Diane for that one.”

Dieter doesn’t know why but the thought of you fucking Josh is stuck in his brain. Someone Dieter has seen you growing closer to during your time here in Ireland when your attention should be on him.  He’s Dieter Bravo – He’s rich, famous, an Oscar winner, the father of the baby you carry! What the fuck makes Josh worth your attention? Dieter sees the secret smiles when Josh texts you, sees you distracted on set. It fucking infuriates him.

 “Gives you a whole two days to fuck your little PA friend while I’m gone.”

Dieter is shooting you an open sneer and you feel your entire body heating up. That’s it. You’ve tried to be civil and even apologetic but this is getting ridiculous. You throw the tablet on the car seat between the two of you, your nostrils flaring.

“You don’t get to tell me who I go to bed with,” you growl, noting the way Dieter’s eyes widen in surprise at your tone. “I'm tired you thinking you control everything about me because I happen to be carrying your kid.”

You glance up belatedly hoping that the driver can’t hear you through the plastic divider separating the front from the back of the vehicle before your eyes are back on the increasingly red-faced Dieter.

“I’m my own person, Dieter. And yes, I will carry this child, and yes I will do so with love and care. But as for whom I fuck? That’s not your business.”

You don’t bother telling him that Josh is off the table. That you heard yesterday that he’s started seeing some girl from costumes. You don’t bother telling Dieter that there’s no one in the quiet hamlet that you actually want to fuck. He doesn’t need to know that.

Dieter continues to stare at you, shocked at the vitriol coming from you. He’s seen you irritated and even angry, but right now you seem borderline frenzied. Your cheeks are red and your eyes are bright and you’re almost snarling.

He’s turned on out of his mind.

He crosses his legs to hide his growing length, clearing his throat and praying you don’t notice the flush rising to his cheeks.

You throw yourself back into your seat, eyes out the window. You’re breathing quickly, still furious about all of this. You wish there was another man on set that you’d like to have take you to bed but there’s no attraction for anyone else. Josh was the only one who appealed to you and without him your only solution is the men down at the pub (all pensioners or gay) or your own fingers which really don’t do the job.

Dieter watches you, struck by his own increasing insecurity. He’d rather you fuck anyone else here. Someone whose texts don’t make you smile down at your phone. Someone who doesn’t distract you during movie nights with Dieter. A nobody.

"I know that what I'm asking might sound unfair," Dieter finally offers quietly. "So I'll pay someone. Someone reputable and clean from one of the services here."

It takes you a moment to realize what he's offering and when you do you turn to face him, outraged. 

"I'm not sleeping with an escort! I’ve never paid for sex I’m not about to start now.” 

"Fine,” Dieter shrugs. “I'll get you whatever toy you want."

"I have toys. Toys aren't doing the job," you admit with a sigh before your face flushes at the admittance. You don't tell him that you've worn out the batteries beyond charging on all. That the toys aren’t what you crave. It’s the touch of a man, his heartbeat under your palm, the sweaty tangled mess under sheets that your body craves.

But Dieter doesn’t understand this; he’s still trying to come up with a solution to your problem that won’t make him feel like shit.

"Then I'll-"

"I need sex, Dieter!" You interrupt in frustration. "All these fucking hormones are making me so... I-I just need a cock to come on!”

The minute the words escape you Dieter’s already dark eyes seem to turn black. He slowly inches over to you in that bouncing, jerky way of his, crawling over the seat until he reaches your. You don't know what he's doing, but you don't stop him when his hand comes to the curve of your belly. 

You hold in a whimper at the sensation of his warm palm through the fabric of your shirt. His hands are wide but you've never noticed just how big they are. His head tilts forth, his forehead gently pressing against yours. Your eyes flutter to focus on his full mouth. 

"You're taking care of my baby," Dieter offers in a husky whisper. "So I'll take care of you."

His free hand slowly moves to wrap around the back of your neck, barely touching you. 

"That's a terrible idea," you breathe, your voice holding no conviction. 

"We did it before," Dieter reasons. 

"We don't even remember it."

"So let's make a memory," Dieter murmurs, his eyes on your mouth now. 

“We’re here Mister Bravo,” comes the voice of the driver from the front of the town car.

Fuck.

The ride back from the radio interview is tense. Dieter managed to be professional, even charming with the hosts. And while he did that you managed to get a few emails checked, interviews organized and wardrobe fittings scheduled.

But the promise of what he started in the limo only hours before weighs heavily on you both. You feel it’s massively inappropriate given that he’s your boss. He’s paranoid he’s overstepped and scared you off so he doesn’t want to make another move.

So the two of you look out opposite windows, studiously ignoring one another until you return back to the rental. Dieter practically flings himself from the limo, tossing a wave at the driver over his shoulder as you roll your eyes and follow him inside.

The house is quiet, the light of the day dimming. You’re too tired for a walk today so you quickly shower and pull on your softest sleep shorts and t-shirt. You pull on your fuzzy robe and slippers and pad out to the kitchen to make yourself a tea. Dieter is already there boiling the water, his hair damp from his own shower. The two of you exchange tight smiles before you go over to the television, switching it on.

“I think there’s a doc about Patagonia,” Dieter calls over to you. “Wanna watch it together?”

“Sure.”

You hate that the thought of it makes your heart jump. The man that is usually so annoying to you is suddenly so fucking enticing you want to jump him right now. You want to fist your hand through his damp curls and ride him until he’s whimpering.

Fucking hormones.

You wonder if Dieter is good in bed. You've heard plenty of thankful refrains from his closed bedroom door but that might just be to stroke his ego.

You don’t remember your time with him and so the only context you have is when you walked in on him when you thought he was alone and you were desperate to go over some of the errands he had asked of you earlier in the week.What you'd found was Dieter lying in bed, one arm behind his head as a lithe blonde man with a scruffy beard went down on him. Dieters hand was carding through the man's hair, pulling his mouth further along his impressive cock. 

"That's right," Dieter murmured, eyes closed. "Take it all like a good boy. Swallow it down."

You'd quickly closed the door shut, the man's moans echoing behind you thankful you'd not been seen. For some reason that image had stayed with you since then. You don't know if it's because it was two men or because Dieter was so commanding or because it was something you weren't supposed to see. 

But when you think of Dieter and fucking him, it's this memory that floods your senses... And your panties. Like right now as you sit next to him trying to ignore the proximity of his body to yours.

“Want popcorn?”

“Nah, I’m okay.”

“Tea?”

“No I’m fine. Do you want tea?”

“No, I’m good.”

It’s like a middle school dance. The two of you sitting stiffly next to each other, both pretending to ignore the obvious desire there, both too scared of what will happen next. You’re desperate to focus on Patagonia but you can’t. Your boss smells so good and looks so good and he’s rolled up his sleeves so his forearms are bare and his hands are so fucking big. You imagine them everywhere on your body before you force yourself to find a distraction.

“I never asked you about your tattoos,” you say as your eyes runs over the inky triangle closest to you on his forearm. “Why triangles?”

“I guess I really like pizza,” Dieter smirks.

And suddenly all the tension is gone from the moment, replaced with the familiarity of his humor. You let your head tilt back as you let out a guffaw, pushing his arm affectionately. He swings it around your shoulders as he watches your eyes crinkling as you laugh loudly, feeling his chest swell. He loves it when he can make you laugh like that; unguarded.

And in that moment he knows he wants more. He wants to make you feel good. He wants to feel you and be able to remember it the next day.

As you wipe amused tears from your eyes you feel Dieter leaning towards you, his hand on your shoulder, tilting you in his direction ever so slightly.

You don’t pull away.

In fact you let the giggles ebb, but you don’t move from his nearness. Your faces are so close he can feel your warm breath huffing over his parted mouth. You smell like soap from the shower and earl grey tea. He watches your eyes go to his mouth and then slowly move back to meet his gaze.

Why isn’t he kissing me?

You want him to kiss you.

But he’s just sitting there, arms around you; face so close you can see the density of his eyelashes. The two of you sit there breathing slowly into one anothers mouths and it dawns on you that Dieter is waiting for you. Impossibly erratic, impulsive Dieter Bravo is waiting to see if this is truly what you want. 

You need to make the first move.

For some reason that's what prompts your head to tilt towards him, your mouth gently landing against his. Your hands go to his shoulder, holding tightly. 

He kisses you gently at first, head spinning at how good it feels. He doesn't know if it's because this is the longest he's been sober in years or because it's you. Whatever the reason, it makes him wrap his arms around your waist, licking into your mouth as you whimper. 

Fuck he kisses well.

"This is a terrible idea," you tell him even as you begin to pull at the drawstring of his sweatpants. 

"Completely," he says, running his palms along your upper arms. 

"Need you to fuck me hard, Bravo."

"Anything you want."

"This is just a way to g-get some release," you tell him as his mouth goes to your neck and you groan. 

"Mhmmm."

You try to remember what you were going to say but his tongue is slowly dragging along your jaw before he's planting sloppy kisses down your neck.

"J-just this one time," you groan when his hands come to cup your breasts, thumbs rolling over the stiffened peaks of your breasts overtop your nightclothes.

"You sure? What about if you need it again?" Dieter hums, hands sliding up under your sleep shirt to find your breasts warm and heavy in his hands. He makes a soft sound of pleasure as he kneads them.  

"We c-can't," you whimper, eyes closing. His mouth is so soft and warm and it leaves every piece of your body it touches electric.

"Sure we can," he murmurs. "We make the rules."

"The contract," you offer weakly as his fingers gently pinch each nipple tightly until you gasp. Dieter can’t look away from your saddled brows and the way you arch into him.

"Didn't say anything about this," Dieter whispers against your mouth. You kiss him now, urgent and needy and he groans as he licks into your mouth.

"I want you to enjoy this," Dieter purrs. 

"I'll enjoy it," you tell him, hands still fumbling with the drawstring of his sweatpants.

You'll enjoy any sex at this point. You just need a quick, hard, fuck and you'll be back to your normal focused self (well, plus pregnant). You're startled when Dieter takes your wrists, pulling them from his waist. You frown up at him. 

"What're you-"

Dieter gives you a playful smirk and drops to his knees beside the sofa and between your legs. Your eyes blow open in shock as he tugs your sleep shorts down from under your sleep shirt and tosses them over his shoulder. They land somewhere on the floor, forgotten. You don't even have time to be embarrassed at being half naked in front of him, your boss, because he immediately drags one thigh over his broad shoulder.

"Amazing," he murmurs, eyes fixed on your glistening sex.

"You don't have to-"

"Don't have to make you feel good?" Dieter scoffs up at you. "No wonder you weren't in a rush to fuck. All your other boyfriends must have been pitiful in bed."

You're about to answer sharply when Dieters mouth descends. His hands grip the back of your thighs and you feel him lick a stripe up the seam of your drenched cunt. 

"Fuck!"

Dieter grins against your pussy at the sound. He looks up to see your eyes wide and fixed on him kneeling there between your legs. You’re slumped on the sofa, looking at him with flushed cheeks and heavy eyes and Dieter feels himself groan at the sight.

You try to distract yourself from the burning in your thighs and the sudden nakedness you feel when you see the moonlight is shining on Dieter’s mouth between your legs.

“Dieter anyone could see.”

“We’re a million miles away from anyone else,” he tells you, voice muffled. But he stops when he senses that you’re suddenly no longer interested in this, at least not in out here while the TV plays a documentary on Patagonia in the background. He leans forward,pressing glossy kisses up your belly until he’s caged you in with his arms against the sofa. He sees the pupils blown wide in your eyes and he can’t help himself from kissing you senseless. You taste yourself on him and it makes your ardor grow. 

With a patience he didn't even know he truly possessed, Dieter leads you to his bedroom by the hand, weaving through the furniture in the semi darkness. He’s so hard he’s fucking throbbing, the scent of you clinging to his face and driving him wild.

He watches you clamor onto his bed, eyes watching his face in anticipation. Despite the fact that you run most of his life, tonight it’s Dieter that will be taking the lead. To his surprise you submit, watching him with a nervous look as he crawls onto the bed next to you, still wearing his threadbare t-shirt and soft sweatpants.

You wait for him to start roughly, to take what he wants. You think of his hands on the back of that man’s head, the way he’d thrust lazily into his mouth. You wait for Dieter to take take take as he always does in all things.

But he’s not rushing, he’s watching you closely.

Because he's sober during sex for the first time in years and he's so aware of how this potentially changes things between the two of you. His hands are trembling when he reaches for you. For you this is release, Dieter is a human sex toy for you to derive pleasure from. Dieter knows and accepts this. 

But you're not that to him. 

And even though he can't recall that night the two of your shared that created the life you now carry, he knows that he never treated you like it. He’s never thought of you as just sexual release, not then, not now, not ever.

He watches you on the bed, hands reaching for him. “Dieter please.”

He moves towards the mattress, knees hitting the edge before his large hands come to slide your sleep shirt up your belly, notching it just under your breasts when he sees your concern at it rising higher.

"Lean back baby mama," Dieter grins down at you as he kisses his way down your swelled stomach, his mouth soft and wet. "Gonna make you feel so good."

"We don't have to- I just wanna get fucked," you explain, still feeling awkward at the thought of your boss going down on you. 

"Without being warmed up?" Dieter squints at you in confusion before placing a kiss to the soft of your pussy. "That's not how I do things. You need to come before you get this cock."

You hate how those words from him are enough to have you whimpering.

You watch him with eyes heavy lidded as he spreads your thighs widely for him, hooking them over his broad shoulders. Only now that you're opened so fully to him does he look at your sex and give a tortured moan. 

"Such a pretty pussy," he breathes, nose nudging your clit as he begins to give your cunt a sloppy kiss. "So wet already baby. This all for me?"

You don't reply to him and he doesn't wait for your response. But the answer is clear when arousal continues as his tongue begins to delve deeply between your folds. His tongue and mouth immediately begin working at a frantic pace between your legs as he holds you against his face. It isn't long before you're arching into him, holding him by his wild curls.

His wide hands hold your thighs to his shoulders, pinning you open so he can taste you. You hear murmurs of "so fucking sweet" and "so good for me, baby" and each rasping word hits you directly below your navel. 

When his tongue flicks your clit and then he begins sucking it's game over. You feel it building in your core and you let out a gentle whimper. Dieter’s eyes fly open at the sound, gaze fixed on your pleasured face contoured in pleasure at your approaching climax. 

Your hands are twisted in the sheets and he can see how every muscle in your body is tightened. You’re in awe at how wrong your initial assessment of his sexual prowess was. Dieter Bravo is not a selfish lover.

He's fucking insatiable.

"C'mon, baby," Dieters voice is low and syrupy between his licks and kisses. "Let go for me."

You weren't expecting it to feel this good. Weren't expecting Dieters voice to go that low and raspy. Weren't expecting that just his tongue and fingers could hit so deep, so well. 

"I need you to come on my tongue."

There's something in the almost way he says it that has your thighs tightening around his ears, back arching violently off the bed. 

"I'm... I'm-c-coming!"

You dissolve underneath his tongue, pelvis thrusting harshly against his greedy mouth. You cry out his name over and over, eyes damp with relieved tears at the tension that is slowly leaving your body. 

When you come, Dieter looks up the length of your body, taking in your glassy eyes and flushed cheeks as you float down from your high. You give a soft sigh that ends in a groan. You want more. 

"I knew it," he groans, eyes shuttering as he watches you shatter. "I fucking knew it."

You lay quaking in the aftershocks as Dieter crawls up the length of your body, dragging a loving palm over your belly as he does. You're not even sure he realizes he's doing it. 

"What did you know?" You pant, hands clutching the sheets as you come down from your pleasured high. His face is inches from yours, dark eyes glittering.

"The face you make when you come," Dieter rasps, eyes mapping your flushed face. "I knew it was gonna ruin me."

His mouth crashes into yours before you can reply and despite your insistence to yourself that this remain platonic, your arms are already snaking around his neck. You're dropping your jaw open so he can lick into your mouth and you hear your own desperate moans echoing against his in the quiet room.

"Fuck me," you croak against his mouth. "Hard."

He pulls back eagerly, stumbling to a stand beside the bed and nearly tripping in his rush to take off his pants and shirt. Finally he stands curls askew from taking off his t-shirt in a rush. 

He places his knee on the bed and you can't help but be impressed with the size of him. No wonder he has so many repeat bedroom visitors. Between that and his tongue is a marvel he has time to leave his bed at all. 

"You ready?"

"Yes," you pant, hating how desperate you sound as your hands reach for him, eagerly shifting your hips and smiling at him. He lays himself next to you on his side.

“Oh shit, a condom-“ Dieter starts with a frown. “I think I have some-“

"You're clean?"

"Yeah,” Dieter says with quirked brows. “Haven't fucked anyone since you."

You're shocked by this announcement.  “Mia?”

Dieter shakes his head, cheeks pinking. You sense the moment slipping from you and you shake off the voice that tells you the lines are blurring.  Right now all you want is to feel Dieter inside of you.

“Fuck me bare,” you tell him, mouth on his.

“Really?”

“S’not like I can get more pregnant.”

Dieter chuckles gently, his hand coming to cup your cheek as his tongue slips into your mouth. You taste him, every crevice as he does the same to you, needing to feel every piece of you that you keep hidden. As he does he trails a finger lazily against your inner thigh, knuckles brushing against the warmth of your core. 

"You still want this?" he murmurs pulling back to see your eyes.

"Yeah," you nod eagerly, already missing the sensation of his lips on yours. You curl into him. He still stares at you, only now he looks nervous. 

"You want me?"

There's something in the way Dieter's voice catches at that last word. Almost as if it's fighting to get out of his throat. Your eyes latch to his and you see the vulnerability there, the way he looks so unsure even as you hold to him.  

"Yeah, Dieter," you finally say quietly. "I want you." 

The relief is so clear as his mouth finds yours again. He kisses you deeply, tongues dabbing at one another as he urges you onto your back. 

"Fuck, I can't believe we're finally doing this," he rasps against your jaw, pressing damp kisses there. "Gonna make you feel so good."

His fingers trail at the seam of your cunt, teasing but you bat them away. He gives you a confused look. 

"I need your cock," you tell him breathlessly, hitching your thighs around his hips and urging his cock to your entrance. 

This isn't what he normally does. He likes his female partners to be multiple orgasms deep before he fucks them. He's large and he doesn't want to hurt you.

"Please," you whisper and now you're cunt is shifting towards the head of his cock, urging him inside. 

He gives a small groan and before he can second guess you request he's slowly sliding into you to the hilt. The feeling of Dieter entering you is exquisite, the stretch not too bad because he's already made you come.

Your entire body arches under him at the divine sensation, the way he fills you so achingly full. You hiss in pleasure, gripping his shoulders so tightly you leave half moon crests temporarily tattooed on them. 

Dieter stares at you as he enters you, his mouth hanging open as the delicious sensation of your cunt envelops him. Warm and slick and so fucking good. You wrap around him like you were made for him, like you were both built to fit perfectly together. It makes him give out a strangled gurgle when he sheaths himself to the hilt. 

"Holy fuck." 

"So good," you moan without thought. You're normally not a vocal lover, but no one has made you feel this good just at entering you. 

"Yeah?" Dieter asks you with a proud grin as his hips begin to rock into you. "You like feeling me deep, huh?"

"Yes," you nod, biting your lower lip. "Want you even deeper."

Your thighs drop open further and now you're hands slither down his side until you’re gripping his ass, urging him to fuck harder and deeper. 

"So eager," Dieter rasps not even bothering to hide his delight. You're eager for him. He nuzzles your cheek, grazing a kiss there. "You’re trembling, baby. You needed this didn't you? Needed my cock so badly."

"Uh huh."

Fuck you're so pliant, so goddam agreeable right now under him that it makes Dieter heady. You're never so soft with him in real life. You'd never admit to needing him outside this moment. Dieter realizes right then and there that being inside you bare is better than any drug, any drink.

"You like fucking an Oscar winner, sweet thing?"

You momentarily break from your pleasured haze to give him a look that clearly reads your disdain for this particular dirty talk. In all the bliss you've been experiencing with him, you'd momentarily forgotten who Dieter Bravo is. 

Dieter is an ego maniac, a man who loves to talk about himself, an actor who gets told how amazing he is by everyone, so you really shouldn't be that surprised that he'd bring up his accolades during sex. However that's about the least sexy thing about him right now

"Does that usually work?"

"Huh?" Dieter's eyes are glassy as his cock saws in and out of you. "Does what work?"

"Reminding your bed partners that you're an Oscar winner?" 

He looks at the derision in your gaze and swallows embarrassed. "Sometimes."

You see the sheepish look cross his features. 

"Why say it?"

"I guess…to impress them." Dieter gives a crooked grin. "To seduce them... Or whatever .."

"You don't need to impress me or seduce me," you tell him firmly, your hips jutting as you increase his pace. "This is a transaction, Dieter. All I need from you is your cock and for you to fuck me deep."

Dieter grins weakly again and watches as your eyes shut, hands moving to either side of your head against the pillow and he begins thrusting anew. Dieter loves that he doesn't have to wear a condom with you. He's rarely gone bareback - always paranoid about accidental pregnancy or a lying partner. The sweet clench on his bare cock has his brain fuzzy.

Dieter can't fight the need to inhale you at that moment. Your soap, your perfume, your skin. Everything tantalizes him, making his mouth water. His nose buries itself in the hair at your temple and he breathes deeply. Coconut. Vanilla. And something something uniquely you that he can't quite place. 

Having you like this is a dream, one he didn't realize he's been harboring for much longer than when you first slept together. 

"Need to hear those noises again," Dieter groans against your temple. "Need to feel your cunt squeeze me when you come."

His mouth is filthy and you're shocked at how much it turns you on to hear it. His voice is so low, so gravely is almost a purr. 

"You gonna soak my cock, baby?"

"Yes," you mewl, eyes tightly shut as your bodies rock against one another. 

"Yeah you are," he says with affection. 

He wants so desperately to push your t-shirt up and see the rest of you naked and bouncing. But he'll take what you offer without complaint. His hips shift forward again and again, your thighs spread wide for him so he can access you as deeply as possible. 

"Harder," you beg brokenly. "Please… fuck me harder."

He acquiesces immediately with a grunt, hands coming to pin your wrists to the mattress above your head as he fucks into you, hips moving brutally against yours. He can see the swell of your breasts bouncing under the soft cotton of your t-shirt, watches the way your eyes roll back and hears the strange throaty babbling that emerges from you.

"So fu ... So dee.. Fuck... Good.... Don't st... Gonna... Gonna..."

Each word is punched out with every thrust from Dieter. He feels sweat beginning to bead at his temples but nothing distracts him from his pursuits. 

You're close, he knows by the way your own hips begin to circle his and then finally they still as you begin pulsing around his length. 

At the first sound of your cry and the feeling of your cunt milking him, Dieter feels his own release erupt from him.

“You’re so good, so fucking good,” he groans before he grunts out your name as he gives one final thrust and then stills. He groans as he spends himself deep within you before he collapses on top of you, head against your shoulder. 

"Fuck." Dieter says slowly. "That was....that was good right?"

"More than good," you say honestly before brushing back your sweaty hair from your forehead. "Thank you."

You go to sit up and leave but Dieter is already pulling you towards him, wedging a leg between yours and nestling his face in the crook of your neck.

“Just stay a moment.”

You want to extricate yourself, to remind him that this was all just for release. But he’s so warm and he smells so good and you feel so good and the room is so warm . . .

You wake up a few hours later to Dieter’s hand gently rubbing your stomach over your sleep shirt. You give a soft yawn and he looks your face on the pillow next to his. He wonders if all men feel like this when they’ve gotten a woman pregnant. This fierce protectiveness, this open desire that makes him want to hold you and never let go.

You look beautiful right now, sleepy and sensual as you give a soft stretch. He feels your torso shift and thinks about the miracle under his fingertips. Creating life.

"He's gonna be a Saggitarius."

"Huh?"

"My son," Dieter tells you. "Doctor says he'll be born December twelfth, remember? That makes him a Saggitarius."

"So?"

"So that's good because I'm a Libra. So we're a good personality match. He's gonna be independent though. Wonder if he'll go into the family business," Dieter muses looking at your belly. "What are you?"

"A woman who doesn't think that star placements affect my future," you say with your eyes closed, mouth curled into a bemused smirk.

"He'll be here just in time for Christmas," Dieter says dreamily. "Can you imagine how cute he'll be in front of the Christmas tree?"

"Not really," you say briskly. "I'll be recovering from pushing a watermelon-sized being out of my body. I'm thinking a beach somewhere with lots of alcohol."

"You're not going to be here?" Dieter says, feeling a strange panic bubbling inside him. "Not even for the first few days?"

"You paid me to be your surrogate, Dieter," you tell him flatly. "Not your nanny." 

"I just figured you'd stick around for a bit," Dieter mutters.

“I'm gonna go to an all inclusive somewhere. Just relax for two weeks in the sunshine, get hammered, ho-."

You stop. You'd been about to say "hook up" but something makes you pause. When you'd first thought about life post birth you'd kinda just assumed that it would be running away to an island to celebrate the whole thing being behind you. But now, thoughts of some warm vacation away from Dieter and your baby seems... Hollow. 

Not your baby. Stop thinking like that. 

You glance over to see Dieter, his face impassive. You think that maybe, just maybe you could stay a few days. Just to get the baby settled. That would be kind of you. Yes, that works. 

"I guess I could stay the first week it comes home- er to your home," you tell him. 

Dieter nearly jumps off the bed in excitement. "Really?"

You shrug. "Won't be able to move much anyway." 

Dieter can't help himself, his hands go to your neck, holding you before his lips come crashing into yours. You hate how you don't even pause before returning the kiss with cheeks flushed as he takes them in his hands, his eyes soft on yours. 

When he kisses you again it feels slower, deeper. And when you urge him on top of you again, your thighs parting automatically, he slides into you like he just kissed you. Slow and deep until the two of you are shuddering against one another, your dual moans a symphony in the quiet house.

Cravings

bananas

pizza

pretzels

independence from boss who will not stop sending insane baby related texts at all hours of the day

Missing

personal space

sushi

not barfing 

Baby is size of turnip.

Dieter’s mood continues to vacillate in the coming weeks. Some days he’s bouncing up and down, cooing at your belly behind closed doors and talking about the future. Other days he’s withdrawn, spending hours in his art room or running through his lines alone in his bedroom.

You wonder if it’s the withdrawal from drugs. You haven’t seen your employer indulging in anything more than red wine at dinner and you wonder if it’s taking its toll on him. You decide he needs a distraction, something fun. You also sort of want to pay him back for… well… helping you out.

You take a look at his schedule and after a few phone calls you go to his art room on morning he has off, giving a soft knock. His voice is muffled but irritable through the closed door. He’s blasting music that he turns down.

“What?”

“I have a surprise for you,” you tell him grinning through the door. Almost immediately you hear the padding of socked feet and he pulls the door open, a cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, his eyes wide like a child’s.

“A surprise?”

 “Yep,” you nod with a smile. “A special treat.”

He wastes no time in running a comb through his hair (at your insistence), popping a piece of gum in his mouth and pulling on his oversized jacket before following you out of the house and into the waiting town car.

“What’s the treat?” he asks the second the vehicle begins to move.

“Be patient,” you say with a teasing grin. “It’s about a two hour drive to Dublin.”

“Two hours?” Dieter throws himself back in his seat as if this is the cruellest form of punishment. “Do I get a hint?”

You mull this over as the green outside the window sails by. “Mmm… Green.”

“Green?”

“Yep.”

“The fuck?”

“That’s all you get.”

“What kind of clue is ‘green’ when we’re in fucking Ireland?”

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” you tell him. “Now I have some work I have to do, why don’t you go on your phone or take a nap or something.”

“You sure you’ve never had kids?” Dieter muses sarcastically. “Sure sound like one.”

You give him a warning look before going back to responding to emails about a photo shoot happening next month. You pull into Dublin a few hours later, glancing sideways when Dieter shifts and begins speaking.

"I miss going to the movies as a regular person," Dieter tells you, eyes hidden behind sunglasses as you drive by the theatre. "Used to be the only place that made me happy."

Dieter tells you a lot, but his childhood is a topic he usually stays away from. You lower your phone, giving him your full attention. "Really?"

"Yeah," he nods. "When I was a kid we didn't have a ton of money. But my mom always saved up enough for me to go to see a movie." 

He misses his Mom a lot. It’s clear in the wistful way he talks about her. It reminds you that the two of you share a connection, one you both wish you didn’t. Parents gone too soon, taken, ripped from your families but never your hearts.

You don’t have to lower his sunglasses to know his eyes are misty as he thinks of her. You reach across the seat and wrap your fingers around his wide hand. You want this day to be a good one for him, you want him to be happy. 

“What’s your favorite drink in the whole world?”

Dieter comes back to himself, glancing at you over his sunglasses. “Easy, whiskey.”

“Exactly,” you say smiling. “And what kind?”

“Jameson.”

You nod, watching the green building slowly coming into view. You motion to it out the window with a soft "voila" grinning as Dieters eyes grow wide.

"Jameson distillery...Private tour for one Dieter Bravo," you tell him proudly. "Turns out the owner is a big Cliff Beasts fan." 

Dieter is leaning over your lap to see more of the building, his warm chest on your thighs.

"Are you serious?"

He's looking at the logo glowing on the sign, eyes taking in the double doors before smiling in shock at you. 

"Yep. Now be on your best behavior," you tell him bringing out the phone. "I'll be back in three hours-"

"Fuck that," Dieter scoffs. "You're coming with me. This'll be way more fun with someone else."

"Dieter, I can't even drink."

"I'll drink enough for the two of u-"

"Incorrect," you cut him off officiously. "You promised Diane you weren’t getting wasted anymore. So today you can to enjoy the tour and the whiskey tasting, maybe buy a hat, but that's it."

"But-"

"Don't make me regret doing something nice, Bravo," you warn him and a warm smile crosses his face as he nods.

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright, let's go in." You shuffle on your seat to the door. “Now we only have three hours inside so make sure you don’t wander off, got it?”

“Got it.” Dieter is squirming excitedly so much he reminds you of a puppy, all big eyes and wagging tail. You roll your eyes in amusement before you duck out of the car with him, telling the driver to please return in three hours.

“Sunglasses,” you murmur, handing them to him. He slips them on, tugging up the hood of his jacket. Without warning he takes your hand in his, clasping tightly. “Don’t wanna get separated,” he explains. You don’t fight him on it, instead you grip him back and nod.

Dieter doesn't let go of your hand until you're both inside staring up at the chandelier made of whisky bottles. The place is busy, but its midday and most are so distracted by their own adventure that they don't even notice Dieter as you two walk in. 

"Holy shit," Dieter says and even though you can't see his eyes you know they're wide with excitement. 

The wraparound bar has descriptive titles like floral, vanilla, smooth above empty shot glasses begging to be filled. Dieter reads the board talking about the various things to see. 

"I wanna do the cask drawing," he says, rocking back in his shoes excitedly. "And the blending class."

"We can do it all," you promise him, absently tapping his elbow to keep him moving. "C'mon, we're looking for a Peter Connor." 

You sail past a group just starting their tour, your feet slapping the slate floor. Dieter is awestruck, looking at everything like a wondrous child until you come upon what looks to be the owner, a grey haired man with big ears. 

"Peter Connor?" You ask, pulling out the email correspondence between the two of you. "I'm the one who-"

"Mister Bravo?" Peter says with his Irish lilt the second he sees him, his eyes wide. "I was just sayin' to me wife that it was a feckin' miracle you bein' in Dublin since we just finished yer latest Cliff Beast film. Is there any hope of an autograph for the wife an' me?"

Dieter is all charm and smiles, shaking the man's hand and chatting back and forth before signing autographs and you taking a few photos of them. 

"I didn't know you were married," Peter says, shaking you hand warmly before you realize what he's said. 

"Oh no," you say quickly. "Just his PA."

"My mistake," Peter says ducking his head. "Well if you'll be followin' me I've got a special tour planned. Your assistant here told me how much ye love Jameson, Mister Bravo."

"I do," Dieter says grinning. It's the only whisky I drink." 

"Aye, as it should be."

The private tour goes off without a hitch and you find yourself fascinated by the varied history of Jameson whiskey. 

When it comes to the tasting Peter your tour guide goes to pass you your flight but you stop him. 

"None for me, thanks."

"Ye can't be comin' through Jameson and not tryin' a drop," he cajoles. Normally you'd come up with a lie or laugh along with him. But you're tired from the drive and walking while pregnant so you just shrug.

"Unless medical advice has changed in the last fifty years I don't think introducing my unborn child to whiskey in the womb is exactly wise."

Peter is immediately all smiles, looking at your stomach.

"Are ye' in the family way then?" He smiles. "What a blessin'. Is this yer first?"

And last. 

"Yeah," you nod, not wanting more attention than necessary. Dieter is watching all of this at your elbow, eyes on your face. 

"I wish ye and yer little one nothin' but blue skies and long healthy days and that you'll both be rich in blessins." 

"Thank you."

Dieter sees it before you do, Peter's hand reaching forward to gently pat your stomach. He remembers the horror you feel at strangers grabbing your body and he quickly wraps his arm around your waist, guiding you towards the next flight of whiskey being brought out. 

When a young couple comes up and quietly requests a photo Dieter accepts and it’s you who offers to take it, asking them to be subtle and not post it until Dieter has left. They agree, their hands hovering around Dieter’s broad shoulders. You hand them back their phone and move on, rolling your eyes at their backs.

Refreshing.

That's the word that comes to mind with Dieter about you. You're refreshing. Like an iced cold glass of water on a hot day. A welcome reprieve from the relentless heat. He's never had a someone close to him who didn't want their five minutes of fame. But you? You hate being seen, hate the idea of someone taking your photo.  You want to exist, but you don't want celebrity, that's never been what you crave. And Dieter thinks that might be one of the nicest things about you.

You do the cask drawing, the whisky tasting, the black barrel blending class and by the end of the experience Dieter is visibly relaxed, wearing his newly acquired green Jameson t-shirt, beanie, hipflask and a bag full of no less than a metric fuck-ton of booze. 

"Did you really need sixteen bottles D?"

"This is 12 distillery Reserve," Dieter says aghast at your question. "You can only get it in Dublin. So its one for each month plus a few extra for gifts."

You shake your head in faux exasperation as you both get into the car that's arrived for you along the curb. And just in time, you hear a few voices starting to murmur Dieters name as you close the door behind you both.

Settled inside Dieter produces a key chain in the shape of a whisky bottle, it glints in the low dimming lights of the city.

"For you," he says handing you the key chain as you laugh. "Since you didn't get to drink anything." 

"Thanks," you say with a short laugh, taking the key chain from him. You look it over, gently rubbing at the raised enamel. The car begins to drive and you feel your eyelids start to lower.

"Thanks for the treat," comes Dieters whisky-tinged breath huffing at your temple. “Even if you didn’t get to drink.”

You try to hold in the shiver that accompanies his husky order in your ear. Fucking hormones. You swallow, eyes blinking open but you don't dare look over at the chuckling Dieter leaning back into his seat. 

“Can we make one stop?” Dieter calls to the driver before the partition closes.

“Where?”

“I ordered something a few weeks back that I wanted to pick up.”

The car takes you to a small row of pale colored storefronts. Dieter mutters that he’ll be right back. You watch him exit and he takes off down one of the narrow alleys, his shoulders hunched. 

Your stomach drops because this is all too familiar. This is a fix.

He’s going to buy drugs.

When he returns minutes later with no parcel and his hands shoved into his pockets you know that you’re right. The disappointment that floods you almost takes your breath away. Dieter clamors into the vehicle and the driver informs you that you’ll make good time heading back to the rental.

You are positively fuming and despite his several attempts at getting you to talk, you force your ear buds into your ears and ignore Dieter for the entire drive home.

You throw the door open when you finally arrive back, waiting for town car to leave the drive before you turn on Dieter, your voice low and growled as he makes his way to the kitchen.

“You are unbelievable.”

He slowly lowers his bags and bags of booze before taking in how furious you look. 

“Huh? Why?”

“After all that trouble I went to because I wanted to give you a nice afternoon, you go and stop to get drugs?” You head shakes almost violently, moving to the kitchen to give space between the two of you because right now you want to throttle him.  “So what is it this week? Cocaine? Heroin? I thought you wanted to be a responsible p-“

“Woah woah,” Dieter says raising his hands in supplication. “Chill out. I didn’t buy any fucking drugs and just so you know, I haven’t even done heroin in years. Believe it or not, some things in rehab stuck.”

“Oh no?” You scoff, throwing your purse to the floor. “Empty your pockets then.”

Dieter stands stiffly staring at you, a frown crossing his features.

“No.”

“Dieter.”

“I don’t want to.”

The two of you stare at one another a moment in a silent standoff. It’s you who fires the first shot as you reach into your coat pocket for your cellphone.

“I’m calling Diane,” you say briskly, “you can lie to me all you want, but-“

“I’m not lying to you,” Dieter insists and irritation is crowding his features now. The back of his neck is growing warm, a classic sign of frustration in him. He wishes you’d stop being so cold to him, so accusatory.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you.”

“Well you don’t know me that well!” Dieter all but shouts. He reaches into his pocket now and pulls out a small box, slamming it onto the kitchen counter between you both. You stare at it confused before looking back up at him.

“What is this?”

“A present for you,” he bites off, his cheeks pink with irritation. “One I was hoping to save until the end of filming.”

The shame that takes you over is almost debilitating in its acuity. You feel your entire body grow warm with humiliation at your accusation. All your desire for a pleasant day for Dieter has been ruined by you of all people.

“Oh.”

“Well you might as well open it now,” Dieter shrugs. “Cats out of the bag.”

You grimace as you open the box, feeling shame growing in your cheeks as you view what’s inside.

It’s a ring.

Your eyes widen as you look inside the box, your fingers pulling the ring out to inspect it. It's the same one you saw weeks ago, the hands holding the heart. Only this beautifully carved one has hands holding a sparking green emerald heart instead. You swallow your suddenly very dry mouth, glancing up at him.

"You bought me a ring?"

Dieter shrugs as if this is something he does every day.

“Why?”

"Heard you talking about it with Fia at the shop so I got one sent from Galway." He sees the look on your face and his brows furrow. "What? You don't like it?"

"I do," you promise him, putting the ring on your right hand, the heart facing out. You both smile when you hold it up to the light. "I love it actually. But I don't want you feeling like you have to get my gifts, Dieter. You're already paying me a lot."

Dieters smile flickers briefly. 

"Yeah well this was... This wasn't a baby thing. It was a... I dunno, friend thing. A PA thing. You do a lot for me and just a thank you."

You stare at Dieter in shock, unable to formulate a reply a moment.  You look at the ring and the hurt look on Dieter’s face and you feel shame suffuse you. He’d gone and done a sweet thing and you’d thought the worst of him.

“I’m sorry, Dieter.”

He nods and then walks past you, his face solemn as he walks into his bedroom and quietly closes the door shut.

///

19 weeks personal diary entry [D.Bravo]

Baby Name Ideas

Alex

Victor

Francisca

Penelope

Javiera

Should I include Mom’s name as middle name?  She wouldn’t want that anyway.

The thing about working on a smaller film set is that it can feel like a family. You're already friends with many of the other PA's, the wardrobe department, hair and makeup, the catering and much more. 

Most are older than you by a bit, not uncommon in this part of Ireland and its union. They are all perfectly kind to you, the food is always great and because of that you find yourself going to set more than you have in past productions.

Back in America you used to sit in Dieters trailer on set days with your laptop and phone busily organizing his days. But here his days aren't spent partying and because of the baby on the way you find him hanging around his rental most evenings. It makes your job easier and you find yourself with more free time.

You're also fascinated by how Dieter transforms himself into someone entirely different for this role. It's amazing how he goes from slob in his hole-filled robe and Crocs to a dashing leading man with his hair slicked back and his beard trimmed. 

You're also amazed by Mia. You've been on plenty of sets and seen Dieter act opposite many beautiful leading ladies. But Mia is a supreme talent, the kind of woman who people whisper about and stare at. During their scenes together your eyes volley between the two of them completely enraptured in their acting and their undeniable chemistry. 

You watch one day as a scene is filmed. Your perched on the chair marked Dieter Bravo, legs crossed and eyes stuck on him on set. It's a night scene and they are both in a library un-chaperoned. 

"Why are you here?" Mia asks silhouetted against the window. 

"You know why," he says with a throaty rasp coming up behind a quivering Mia. 

He completely changes himself for each character down to the way he holds his shoulders back, making him look even broader. 

It's hard not to find him attractive like that. Especially now that you know... What you know. The feel of his tongue between your thighs, the rasp of his beard against your cheek. The way his voice goes honeyed when he urges you to come.

You gonna soak my cock, baby?

You watch as Dieter cages Mia in against the wall. "You know what you do to me," he murmurs. 

Mia stares up at him, her wide eyes unblinking. You swear you could see adoration in her gaze. It makes you hold your breath. 

"Cut."

You watch the two of them break into easy smiles before Dieters large hand sails to the small of Mia's back. He leans over and whispers something into her ear and she tilts towards him, grabbing his bicep as she trills a laugh. 

She likes him. You'd long suspected given her gazes that first night at the award show. But the worst part is that Dieter is feeding her obvious crush. His dark eyes crinkle at the sides when she says something only he can hear. 

You find yourself cringing at their exchange, your eyes dropping to your phone. Diane has sent you a few emails about a kids awards show that they want to honor Dieter at. Plus a few branding commercials you have to run by him. 

You head back to his trailer, needing to focus on your work. It’s a few hours later when you hear the crunch of his boots on the gravel and then the shift of the trailer as he enters, seeing the lights are on and inhaling that familiar aroma of coconuts and vanilla.  You give a short hello, not even looking up from your laptop.

"It's lunch," he informs you, watching you hurriedly type at the table.

"Uh huh."

"Have you eaten?"

"I will later." 

You don't even notice that he's left until twenty minutes later when a container of salad, bread and lasagna is pushed in front of you. You glance up with a quirked brow to see Dieter staring down at you. 

"Eat." 

Normally this would annoy you. You hate being told what to do and you hate being babied. 

But there's something about the sight of him in that costume, the stern look on his face and the rasped command that has your pupils blowing wide. Your hormones begin thrumming and you feel arousal pooling in your lower belly. You barely feel in control of yourself as you close the lid of your laptop.  

“I-I’m going on a walk,” you tell him before sliding out of the seat.

“But lunch –“

“I’ll eat when I get back. I promise.”

You hear a knock on his trailer door.

"Mister Bravo? Your needed on set."

"Coming Simon," Dieter calls out. Then he looks back at you with a serious look on his handsome face.

“Cmon,” Dieter pleads, his large eyes round. “Eat quick and then come to set? I want your advice on some lines.”

“Sure.”

He smiles and heads out of the trailer. The second the door is closed you’ve taken off to the daybed at the back of his trailer. You hate yourself for what you’re about to do, but it doesn’t stop you from shucking down your jeans and thrusting your hands under your panties.

The daybed smells like the cologne he wears, the organic soap he uses. Your close your eyes and inhale deeply before you bring yourself off in record time at the thought of Dieter in that regency outfit, of his dark eyes burning coals into yours as he takes you murmuring filth in that deep rasp of his.

When you come down you give a breathless laugh at how fast that happened before cleaning yourself up in the bathroom. You return to have a few bites of your lasagna before grabbing a banana from this morning's forgotten breakfast and heading to set.

You take your spot on Dieters chair as you arrive, your cheeks heating when he comes over to you. He looks nervous as he holds out the script to you. 

"Run these with me?"

"Of course."

Dieter nods and you watch him transform into character. He runs a hand through his hair, making it more dishevelled. His face is a glower, his dark eyes narrowed.  

“I need you,” Dieter growls. “So much I can barely breathe. You see what you do to me?”

Fuck.

You’re turned on and Dieter can see it plain as day. He sensed it back in the trailer, but now it’s so fucking obvious he could laugh, your pupils blown wide in your eyes as you watch him finish the scene.

“U-uh that was good,” you stammer, flustered. He wants to kiss you so badly right now, the smirk threatening to turn into a full-blown smile as he watches his normally composed assistant turn pink in the face, stuttering.

“No feedback?”

"Hmmm, maybe try loosening this," you tell him, hooking a finger into his cravat and tugging gently, feeling breathless as you do. "Like you're so overwhelmed by her nearness that you can't breathe."

"Oh shit, that's good," Dieter says with a broad smile. 'I'm gonna use that. Thanks."

"No problem," you answer honestly, eyes moving from his neck to his face. "I actually enjoy this part of the job."

"Yeah?" Dieter’s voice drops a bit as his head tilts to yours. "S'that all you enjoy about working for me?" 

Memories of your times together flood your senses and your traitorous gaze immediately falls to his full mouth. You realize your finger is still hooked in his collar. You remove it slowly, letting it drag along his neck. 

"Be honest," he purrs quietly against your temple. “I saw how you were looking at me earlier. This costume do it for you, baby mama? Should I bring it back with me later?”

Yes, fuck yes please.

You feel his mouth at your cheek as his hand rises to hover over your belly.

You go white in the face, pressing him back from you and glancing around, thankful no one is watching. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" You hiss quietly. "Are you insane?"

Dieter seems to come back to himself and stands abruptly. His eyes are wide, realizing what he almost did. 

"Fuck, I didn't-"

"Talent to set."

Dieter goes to say something else but instead just shakes his head and strides from you. 

You can't even look at him right now you're so angry. He's going to blow this entire fucking thing with his recklessness. You want to leave but they're about to start rolling and you’re a professional.  

"Alright," the director says as the makeup woman brushes Dieters face to take away any shine. "From the top of the page."

"You want me throwing with right or left?"

"Can you do left?"

"Yep."

"Excellent. For the chair, both like in rehearsal." The director slides back into his chair watching the monitor. "Camera? Rolling... Action."

You watch as Dieter grabs a glass of prop wine, throwing it back and tossing the glass into the fireplace furiously.

"She won't even look at me," he growls to himself, shrugging the coat angrily from his shoulders to reveal a starched lawn shirt underneath. "Acts as if she doesn't want me."

He tugs at the cravat around his neck before pouring another glass. He drinks this one quickly murmuring about how the woman he loves has become a stranger to him. 

"He's magnificent," a voice whispers beside you. Its Mia dressed in a robe, holding a cup of tea. She's staring at Dieter with stars in her eyes. 

The director calls for a cut to reset, something about the lighting. Mia smiles over at you, taking the seat with her name on it as Dieter stands with the director talking quietly. You notice his eyes swinging in your direction and so you focus on Mia next to you. 

"I've watched him since I was a teenager," she admits with a soft blush. "He was my first celeb crush."

"Really?"

Mia giggles and nods before taking a sip of her tea. Her large eyes trail over to Dieter once more.

"Is he single?"

You blink. "I think so, yeah."

"Do you think I'm his type?"

You want to laugh. "You're young, beautiful, talented and you're a fan of his. Trust me, you're his type." 

"But?"

"Honestly?" You grimace at the concern in her features. "Dieter is a lot of fun. Not really serious, not really...."

You trail off thoughtfully a moment.

"Your star is on the rise, Mia. And from what I've seen of this industry that can be easily tarnished by being seen with the wrong person."

"You make it seem like he's a murderer."

"No, murder is too much work for Dieter," you say with false musing. "I'm sure he'd just get me to do it for him." 

Mia hides another giggle behind her hand. You grin at her before growing somber. 

"Honestly Mia, Dieter is a great person. He's got a great heart. I just don't think his reputation would be great for you. He's got a laundry list of drug use, saying pretty outrageous stuff on the red carpet," you swallow. "I would just hate for your reputation to suffer because you wanted to date your celebrity crush." 

Mia nods thoughtfully, draining the rest of her tea. You feel bad, but at the same time you know what you're talking about. You've seen the hypocrisy of Hollywood taking down women for entering into high profile relationships with notorious bad boys. Mia is too talented to have that happen to her. 

While she doesn’t say anything further, you don’t miss the way she continues to stare at Dieter.

Ireland is gorgeous. You've rented a car so the time not spent working on Dieter work is spent exploring the Emerald Isle. You love the verdant surroundings, the amazing locals, the landscapes that take your breath away.

You meet so many kind people, many of them tourists. When they hear your accent they want to take you for a pint and a chat but you always decline. You don't want to have to explain why you don't drink.

Most evenings are spent going over lines with Dieter for the next day’s shooting. Otherwise it's scheduling his meetings, checking in with Diane about his sponsorship posts. And while you grow happier by the day out here, Dieter is quite the opposite.

After the first week you noticed him looking a little down in the mouth. You told yourself it was just a bad mood. But now almost two months in he's become unbearable. Snapping at you, spending a lot of time in his art room. He doesn't want to run lines with you anymore, he hires an acting coach that arrives looking frazzled and they seclude themselves in the office for hours.

At first you assumed they were fucking, but the few times you've passed by to get to your bedroom you can hear them running lines. Dieter always sounds so frustrated, near his breaking point.

You wonder why he stopped running them with you. Was it the sex? It was just a one-time thing.

Dieter continues growing worse, now more snappy and irritable than usual. His morning mediation has ceased entirely. He smokes cigarettes in the garden outside, even in the drizzly afternoon weather.

It all comes to a head when you're woken from a dead sleep to the sound of the front door being slapped and your name being called.

"I wanna fuck again," Dieter tells you, his mouth tainted with whisky when you open the door. He pulls up your shirt, kissing your belly sloppily. "Take off your shirt this time, I wanna see your tits."

You're in no mood. You shove him off of you angrily because you know this horny, loud, rapidly moving Dieter. He's very familiar.

"You're on something."

Dieter shrugs, his eyes on your expanded chest. He wants to see your tits so fucking badly he can't stand it. His hands go to cup them, his mouth parted. “Did a bump with some of the crew. No biggie.”

“Dieter!”

“What?” he challenges. “Just being the guy you always think I am. Some addict loser.”

You feel your face fall at this admission. You think back to how you accused him of buying drugs that day. The hurt look that had crossed his features.

"You can't do this Dieter," you tell him as you jerk back away from his outstretched fingers. "You promised."

"Don't nag me," he scowls when he can see you're keeping your clothes on.

"I'm telling you the facts," you reply. "You promised Diane! And even if you didn't, you told me you wanted this kid."

"I do!"

"Then what the fuck are you doing? You want this kid to end up with some junkie for a father?" You're practically hissing. "Late to set, doing hard drugs, what is going on?"

Dieter tries to turn from you but you grip his shoulder, spinning him.

"Tell me!"

"They don't like me here," Dieter barks out at you, causing you to recoil from him. "They don't think I'm good enough to be in this movie. I can see it in their eyes!"

Animosity drops from your shoulders like an unwelcome jacket. Immediately you soften.

"Dieter," your tone is gentle. "Why would they have hired you if you weren't talented enough?"

"I do action movies, not this Jane Austen shit," Dieter moans, throwing himself into the couch. "I'm no good."

Suddenly the agitation, the long hours spent with his acting coach all makes sense to you.

"I've seen your stuff Dieter," you tell him. "It's great when you really put your heart and soul into it."

His large eyes are so hopeful staring up at you.

"I mean it," you say, your hand reaching out instinctively towards him. He takes it, pressing his cheek into your touch and letting his eyes fall shut.

His stubbled cheek nuzzles against your palm, like an eager cat desperate to lay claim. Suddenly it's too familiar, too domestic and you whip your hand back from him. His dark eyes dart open with a snap. 

"You're just saying that," Dieter says, feeling rejected as you pull back from him. "Just saying it to make your job easier."

He pushes himself from the couch, ignoring your calls for him to stop and come back, to talk this out.  He slams the door to his bedroom and you can only assume he's locking himself up to do more of whatever he bought.

Fuck what am I gonna do?!

You can't call Diane, it's far too late back in the US and even if you did what can she do?

You scroll through the list of names in your phone. You don't want to get Dieter in trouble with the director or the-

Your thumb hovers over the name MIA ROWE/JOSH in your contact list. You type hurriedly.

[6:55pm] Is there any chance Mia could come by to talk Dieter off a ledge? He's panicking about the movie and I'm outta options.

[6:55 pm] JOSH:One sec. I'll ask.

 [6:58 pm] JOSH:Yep. Now good?

When Mia arrives shortly after looking glamorous even in her jeans and sweater, you thank her profusely.

"I don't know how much you know about Dieter and his drug use-" you start, stopping when she raises a wavering hand.

"I know enough," she promises you. "My dad was an addict."

Oh. You worry now that this is far too much for her.

"He's been acting weird the last few days," she confides hanging up her jacket. "I suspected. Honestly I'm relieved that you called."

Relief floods you. "He's in his bedroom, do you want me to-"

"No no, you relax," she says giving you a wink. "I've got it from here."

Dieter is lying on his side when the knock comes to his door. His coke is gone and so is the elated feeling that goes along with it. Now he feels snippy and angry. Your disappointed face flashes in his mind and he winces.

"Go away."

"Dieter?"

That's not your voice. He twists to look over his shoulder at Mia slowly cracking the door open.

"Can I come in?"

What the hell.

"Yeah. Sure."

He forces himself to a sitting position, his head hung to the side as she sits next to him on his bed.

"Your PA told me you're upset about filming and-"

"That I'm the worst fucking actor on set? Yeah."

Dieter throws himself dramatically back onto the bed.

"You're not."

Mia smiles gently at him, her blonde locks falling into her eyes. She takes his hand gently in hers, rubbing his tattoo softly. He softens, raising himself to a sitting position again.

"I'm just as nervous as you are," she confides, her hand over his. "Every day I go to set I'm terrified they'll tell me I'm bad or that they're going to replace me."

"You?" Dieter says in shock. "Yeah right."

"I'm serious," Mia insists. "You're so good, Dieter!  Better than I thought you were."

It's been so long since he heard these words from a colleague. It makes him feel good, makes him feel in control. She's smiling at him and she's so pretty.

"I was so excited to work with you on this," she confides. "And I promise you've exceeded everyone's expectations. Everyone talks about how good you are in this."

"Really?"

"Really."

Dieter is like any actor, he's all ego and hearing her say these sweet, wonderful things is warming him.

Her hand goes to his curls, gently carding her fingers through his hair. Her intention is very clear, she didn't just come here to comfort him. She wants him.  It feels like so long since he's been wanted like this.

He's been good. No parties and until tonight no drugs. No women or men. He's been like a fucking saint. You yourself don't count. You pretty much told him that when he fucked you. So what's the harm in a little playing behind closed doors?

His mouth crashes into Mia's, hands around her back in an instant. She welcomes the kiss with a whimper, her hands circling his waist as he deepens the kiss.

This feels really good. Mia is beautiful and so gentle. She accepts his touches, enjoys how he wraps himself around her. She doesn't pull away like you do.

He pulls her onto his lap, letting her grind against his already aching erection as they continue to kiss. She's got her hands in his hair, gripping and tugging as they kiss. It drives him fucking wild.

His hands go to the button of her jeans but before they can do more, Mia gives a soft laugh, pecking him on the cheek and standing.

"Got carried away."

"I liked it."

"I'll like it more when I know it's not the coke," she tells him honestly.

"It's not."

"Guess we'll find out," she says smiling as she heads for his bedroom door. "I'll see you on set tomorrow then."

"Yeah," Dieter smiles dreamily. "You will."

You don't know what Mia said to Dieter but he's a changed man. For the rest of the month he is on time, professional and sober. Most nights he's over at Mia's rental having dinner (and you assume fucking). He's been very covert, never spending the night, never touching her on set in a way that's not professional.

Last week he began wearing cologne and you notice his customary Crocs are traded in for dress shoes.

"Mia's taking me to this Thai place," Dieter tells you with a smile one evening as you finish up your debrief about the intimacy coordinator scenes next week. "Then we're running lines at her place."

"But that's-" our thing your mind finishes for you. You hold in the frown and just nod, telling him to have a good night as he waves goodbye.

And that's when it starts. This feeling of being left behind.

It's what you wanted.

Yes, you wanted Dieter to stop treating you like a delicate thing. Wanted him to stop smothering you with attention. You wanted him out of your hair so you could stop having to sneak around with Josh.

Except now you sort of miss Dieter.

You miss his annoying way of chewing gum, making it crack against his molars. You miss how he leans over the back of the couch when he walks by and catches you watching something that interests him. You miss how he asks how you're feeling and the delicate way he cups you tummy when you let him.

You even miss the cigarette smell that occasionally clings to his favorite cardigans (although that changes when it begins to make you sick).

You think about inviting Josh over here tonight. So far it's been frantic kissing against pub walls and one remarkably disappointing phone sex experience that left you more frustrated than anything.

You're just so paranoid he's going to be able to tell you're pregnant that you've been holding back.

You walk to the bathroom, having to pee again. For the first time in a while you take a look at yourself. Your clothes are so very baggy and you go to great lengths not to look at your naked body. So when you pull up the t-shirt and stand to the side you're shocked at the difference.

You look pregnant.

Your stomach is pronounced. You can definitely see it swell and the sight takes your breath away. You touch your belly, rolling your hands over it and giggling nervously as you stare at your reflection.

Holy shit. There's a baby in there.

For a while it just looked like you were permanently bloated. But now at five months you can definitely tell this is not a food baby.

You look at yourself a moment longer before pulling out your phone. You rest a hand over your belly, and take a photo of you in the mirror's reflection. You smile serenely, shocked at how natural you look in this pose.

You consider keeping it for yourself but this is a nice memory to share on the app. Dieter loves shit like this and he's been making your life easier as of late. Besides you won't keep this memory. It will be scrubbed from your mind the second the kid is born. No mementos needed. But Dieter deserves them.

You walk back to the main room, hands absently rolling over your stomach. You're asleep on the couch when Dieter arrives shortly thereafter. You feel his hands on your arm, gently nudging you awake. You blink, rubbing the sleep from your eyes to see him standing above you next to the couch. You glance at the clock on the wall.

"Why are you home so early?"

"I saw the app alert," Dieter says breathlessly as if he’s run the entire way home. "I can't believe - can I see? Touch it? Please?"

He came all this way, leaving Mia's early just to see your belly?

You nod with a yawn, lifting the shirt up over your belly. As Dieter takes in the swell of your stomach his eyes blow wide. He drops to his knees beside you on the couch, large hands roving over your expanded flesh.

"Fuck, he's really in there."

"Ultrasound wasn't proof enough?" You tease stretching.

"Photo is one thing but actually seeing this? Feeling it?" He marvels, shaking his head. "Just makes it so real. My baby is in there."

You nod, swallowing. "How was your night?"

"Good," Dieter answers before looking dreamy. "Mia's amazing."

"Mmm."

You watch as he presses an ear to your belly, his eyes closed as he listens. He's listening to the sound of your pregnant belly. Before you can stop him he's turned his head and pressed a soft, tender kiss to the side of your abdomen.

"I love you," he murmurs to your belly, eyes closed. "I love you my little baby. And when I finally meet you I'm gonna spoil you and take you and over the world."

Your heart goes to your throat as you blink back tears.

"You're never gonna go without," he promises quietly. "We're gonna be so happy."

For the first time since this all began you start to imagine Dieter holding his child. A tiny thing with curly hair that gurgles up at him. A mixture of you and the sweet man cradling your belly like its spun glass.

"Are you okay?" Dieter asks, large eyes concerned.

"Yeah, why?"

"You just look upset.”

“Just tired you lie, rubbing at your blotchy face. “Anyway. How was dinner? Must be good since you’ve been hanging with Mia a lot lately.”

“Yeah,” Dieter breathes with a wide grin. “She’s really great.”

“Mmm,” you nod, your attention on the muted television.

"She likes kids," Dieter adds. 

"Oh good," you nod, shuffling your foot anxiously against the coffee table. "That's great, Dieter."

"What do you think of the name Karl-Jose if it's a boy or Mila-Ana if it's a girl?" Dieter asks, his eyes trained on your stomach. "You know, to honor my German and Latin roots." 

"You can name it Lemon-Pillow Bravo for all I care," you answer honestly. You continue looking at the muted TV not really taking in anything, but desperate not to fall into the endless warmth of his eyes.  

As far as you're concerned this kid growing inside you is a job. You're not getting attached. 

"What’s your background?" Dieter asks curiously, his hand still resting on your belly. "That can factor into-"

"Why would it?" You ask frowning. "I'm not any part of this child's life remember?"

Dieter’s face which had been full of such joy moments earlier quickly sobers. 

"Right."

The hand slips from your belly and you watch as he stands, moving to his art room, leaving you in silence as you bite back tears.

"It's TikTok live," you explain for the twentieth time in the last hour as Dieter’ hair stylist heads out the door.  "Its promotion for the comedy you filmed last year, remember? Ninja cowboy?"

Dieter winces as he recalls that drunken nightmare. A job for a friend that went way over budget and way over filming schedule. He knows it's going to be shit which is why he's using Dieter to gain favorable press before the release. 

You glance over to see you employer looking pensively at his breakfast. He's dressed with the clothes his stylist sent over and thanks to his grooming team her in Ireland he looks good in his charcoal sweater and curls brushed back and defined with gel. 

"I hate this stuff," Dieter announces as he takes a bite of toast. "Can't you just do it for me?"

He's tired bags under his eyes that the makeup artist who just left tried to cover to the best of her abilities. 

Dieter was at Mia's late last night going over lines and making out heavily. He's trying to take things slow with her but it’s hard. She's so eager to be with him, never shying from his touches. It feels so good to be wanted. 

"That's not how it...works," you say wincing and putting a hand over your sternum. 

Dieter notices immediately, almost choking on his dry toast in his effort to get to you. His hands fly to your clavicle. 

"You okay?"

"Calm down," you say pushing him gently back away from you. "It's just heartburn."

"I was just trying to help," Dieter mumbles, throwing himself back into his chair. 

It's so frustrating with you sometimes; you blow so hot and cold. It makes him feel unsure and anxious (when he's not turned on out of his mind.) Mia is so much easier and she's so warm all the time. She can also be a bit naive because at her age she doesn't have much life experience. 

Mia loves to hear all about Dieter though, loves to talk about the movies of his she loved watching growing up. Mia hangs on his every word and Dieter can't deny that he loves it. It feels good to be adored.

So then why does he still crave your attention? Why does he flush when your eyes linger on his face? Is it really just that you're carrying his baby or is it something more? 

Even now he feels his heart pick up as you come up sit next to him at the table. 

"If you really wanted to help, you'd focus and get ready because you're going live on the MGM account in like three minutes," you say with frustration, your mouth in a curl of frustration. The baby has been keeping you up lately and its making you feel irritable. 

That and you desperately want Dieter to take you to bed again.

But that can’t happen. The lines are getting too blurred for him, you can see that. Plus you’re pretty sure he’s with Mia and she’s been really good for him over here. You don’t want to screw that up. 

"People will ask you questions here," you say pointing to the phone screen you've set up on the tripod in front of him. "Make sure at least every fourth question ties in to the movie. Release date, co-stars, that kind of stuff. Just don’t Rampart it."

You notice Dieter nodding at you in the phones display along with the large smear of grape jelly at the corner of his mouth. 

"Come there," you say with a roll of your eyes as you turn to him. 

In habit you grab his face, thumb coming to rest on his lower lip to swipe the jelly there as you smile at him in mock exasperation.

Dieter leans forward; eyes never breaking from yours before his mouth comes crashing into yours. His hands are on either side of your neck, pulling you to him.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he rasps against your mouth before pressing his lips to yours more fully once more. This is when you would have pushed from him. But instead your lips parted so he could lick into your mouth, making you whimper. 

At the sound Dieter groans and you realize your hand is carding through his curls, messing them up. 

The beep of your phone alarm goes off startling you both into breaking apart. Dieter pulls back, his dark eyes scanning your wide-eyed gaze. 

"Dieter what-"

Fuck. He read that wrong. He fucking overstepped. Fuck. 

"I'm sorry," Dieter says quickly. "I just thought-"

"-I was getting the jelly off your mouth before the live."

He snatches his hands back as if he's been burnt. 

"That's good. That's great," Dieter stammers before wiping at his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Better?"

"Yeah, totally," you stammer as you look back at the phone. "Okay, it's starting in two minutes. I'm gonna sit off to the side here in case you get desperate. But for the most part pretend that I'm not here okay?"

Dieter hates doing press, especially when he's somewhere without the guidance of an interviewer. He's so easily distracted, so prone to saying the wrong thing. His PR guy spent the last hour going over his talking points and what to avoid but this just makes Dieter more stressed, convicted he's going to fuck up.

Dieter nods, sitting facing the phone before swallowing and wincing. "Fuck why is my throat so dry?" 

"I'll get you some tea," you offer before you go to the kitchen and start the kettle. You try not to think about how your lips are tingling from the kiss.

Things are getting complicated. This was just supposed to be a release based thing. Nothing about that kiss felt impersonal; in fact it felt decidedly intimate.  Your second alarm goes off, it’s about to go live. You cross the kitchen to stand beside him. 

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

You step out of frame before pressing the red button on the phone and motioning to Dieter. 

"Okay, go." 

You walk back to pour the water over the teabag and you can hear Dieter behind you greeting everyone and thanking them for attending. 

You come back to the table with the teacup to see Dieter shooting the phone and then you a stricken look. 

"Jesus," Dieter mutters as streams of text scroll by. "What the... what the fuck do I -"

You roll your eyes off-screen, trying to speak softly to him. You mouth the words exasperatedly. 

"Don’t swear! Just take a deep breath, look at the questions and answer them."

Dieter feels panic overtaking him. There's so many questions, so many names. He feels his heart starting to hammer anxiously. 

"You've got this," you whisper. 

Dieter looks at you and he feels his heartbeat returning to normal. There's something grounding in your expression, the same thing he sees you every time you hold his gaze. That steady, calming presence that tells him he'll be okay. You're the only person who gets to him like that. 

"Okay," he says after a beat and you watch as he transforms into the confident, brash Dieter you've always known. 

"Let's do this shit." He gives a broad, crooked grin to the phone and picks one of the questions at random. "Okay Pdcv2344 asks 'did I enjoy my nude scene in the Colossal Indemnify flick I made."

Dieter lifts a brow and shoots the camera a sardonic look. 

"It was a nude scene with Gal Gadot pretending to ride me. What do you think?"

You roll your eyes and hold in a laugh from where you sit opposite him at the table. He goes on like this several more questions before he clears his throat. You remember the tea steeping at your elbow and fish the bag from the mug. 

You hand him the mug, only your hand showing briefly in the screen. Dieter shoots you a grateful look as he takes it from you. 

"Thanks baby," Dieter murmurs with a smile at you before his attention is drawn back to the scrolling messages. "No, I didn't wear a eyeliner in Cliff Beasts 2."

You feel your face twist into a grimace at the term of endearment used so publicly. You can only hope no one observes or brings it up. Dieter doesn't seem to notice the misstep. He's sipping his tea and answering questions. He seems to be enjoying himself until somewhere in the fifteen minute mark. 

"What the fuck?"

You look up from your phone to see Dieter squinting into the phone. He's confused because digital sunglasses keep whipping over his eyes. 

You raise your brows at him. 

"These sunglasses keep going on my face when I'm trying to talk," Dieter says pointing at the camera. "Is that me? Am I doing that?" 

"Those are gifts," you tell him with a smirk. "They're sending you gifts." 

"Huh? How are fake sunglasses a gift?"

You hold in a giggle at this. Sometimes he really does amuse you. 

"I thought you used TikTok all the time?"

"Not the lives. Are they using their own money for these gifts? Like real money?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck no!"  Dieter frowns at the camera. "Don't send me gifts you guys. I have money. Don't waste yours.”

Dieter frowns when glasses and now a cowboy hat keep appearing digitally. 

"Fuck, now there's a cowboy hat!" 

"Okay well you can turn the gift option off," you tell him trying not to laugh at how stressed he seems. "Just press-"

"Can't you just do it?" Dieter asks, his baleful eyes pleading at you off-screen. "Please? You're so much faster."

You cringe at the thought of being seen but you nod, swinging around into the chair beside him. Dieter glances at you in the reflection of the camera and smiles. 

"Hey everyone, this is my assistant," Dieter tells the crowd introducing and pointing at you as you give an awkward wave. "Best one around. I can't do anything without her."

"It's true," you chirp with a laugh. "I'll be one sec folks; just here for some technical difficulties then you can get back to asking Dieter questions." 

You take a moment to press the buttons disabling the gifts option. Dieter watches you, amused at the flush on your cheeks. You hate being in front of the camera. 

"There you go, no more cowboy hats or sunglasses," you murmur with a soft smile at him that he returns. His eyes drop to your mouth a moment before he nods. 

"Thanks," Dieter murmurs with a smile, watching you slide back to the opposite side of the table, sure not to let anyone see your belly. 

Dieter drags his eyes away from you to look back at the questions. 

"Hey, Granguy66 wants to know if you're single," Dieter says with a waggle of his brows in your direction. "What should I say?" 

You swallow, feeling suddenly strange. You know it's a joke, a laugh. But you feel odd replying in earnest. You decide on your response and deliver it with a grin. 

"Say that Ninja Cowboy is coming to theatres this Friday so they better buy their tickets now." 

[2:44 pm] JOSH: Thought you'd want to see this. Mia said to send it to you.

It's a photo of the cast of the film smooshed in the back of a carriage. Everyone is laughing. Dieter's hair is brushed and he's got a grinning Mia Rowe tightly against him, leaning over his lap to make sure the photographer can see her.

Dieter looks happy and relaxed and the sight of it makes you smile at the photograph. But at the same time it makes your stomach twist uncomfortably.

[2:45 pm] Thanks for sending this. Glad to see he's doing well.

[3:11 pm] Mia says that she and D are going to dinner tonight. He wanted me to tell you he forgot his phone and can you charge it?

[3:14pm] Of course he did. Yeah, I’ll charge it and have it ready for him before dinner. Can you tell him?

[3:14 pm] He’s asking if the rental needs more Bubble bath?? Wtf?

You smirk to yourself. Your check in code.

[3:14pm] Dieter just really loves baths. Tell him we’re all good here. All stocked up. 

You glance down at your silenced phone and frown when you realize you've missed a call from your mother back home and guilt goes through you. You've been going all over Ireland, having amazing sex with Dieter and being distracted. You just send her texts and photos and the occasional email. 

Your mother picks up on the second ring. 

"Hi honey."

"Hey mom," you bite the inside of your cheek. "Sorry I haven't called lately."

"Oh that's no problem," your mom assures you. "I know you're busy. I just wanted to know if you're doing okay today."

Something in her tone stops your feet. The way she says ‘today.’

"Why wouldn't I be?"

There's a heavy pause then your mother's soft voice. "It's your father's birthday."

A feeling like a punch to the gut makes you wince. You erased it from your calendar, not wanting the reminder. But of course she hasn’t forgotten, wants you to remember them.  You worked so hard not to think about these milestones with your dad gone but your mom seems to fixate on them. 

"Right."

"Are you lighting a candle?"

"I will tonight." 

"Good."

Your mother is big on lighting candles for those you've lost. She started with your grandparents and now your dad. It makes you sick looking at those flickering flames. Tears are starting at the corner of your eyes and a few PA's walk by giving you a friendly wave that you mirror weakly. 

"Mom I have to go. I'm needed on set."

You hang up before she can say more but instead of the set you head for the shuttle. You don't want to be here anymore. You don’t want to think.

You want to forget. You want to pretend that you're fine. You want a distraction. 

You push into the rental a short while later, your back and feet aching, your eyes swollen from suppressing tears into the cuff of your jacket. You need to just relax and forget about the world a moment, feel comforted.

You run yourself a bath, the scent of coconut bubbles filling the room. You strip down and slip into the bath, relishing in the warm water that surrounds you. You inhale deeply, cherishing the comfort of the coconut scent and gently lapping water. You turn the faucet off when it reaches just below your collarbone.

Your mind is busy though, despite the serene surroundings. You grab your phone next to the tub on the counter and settle back into the bubbles. You should be productive since you’re still technically on the clock.

For some reason the photo of Dieter and Mia is playing in your mind over and over. You click on instagram, searching up Mia's name and finding it there with its blue checkmark. She posts the normal things young women her age do; her doing yoga, shots of her at sunset, coffee drinking with friends, her dressed up for the Oscars. You're about to close out of the account before you see that she's posted something to her story. You click on it, feeling your breath leave you.

Her blonde head is on his shoulder and he's making one of his classic weird smirks at the camera she's holding up in front of them. She's written "This guy just makes me laugh all day" and tagged his account that he hasn't updated in months.

They look so... close.

You don't want to look at it anymore. You close out of the app and open up Reddit instead. You scroll into the Dieter Bravo subreddit. A habit you haven't indulged in for weeks due to distraction. The top post however has your eyes flying open.

Dieter Bravo secret affair?  5K upvotes, 4.8 replies.

Fuck have they learned about Mia’s crush on Dieter? Or is this all speculation like it was when Dieter was photographed with Bad Bunny? You click on the link, reading the paragraph starting the discussion and feel your heart clench.

Dieter Bravo is totally in love with his assistant. Look at these screenshots from his live. 

One is you in the frame, focused on getting Dieter to understand the mechanics of the live gift feature before you're turning it off and one is when you just finished explaining gifts to him. He's got his 

You can't help but feel your cheeks heating at the sight. While you were busy trying to help Dieter with his phone it seems he was busy staring at you. 

And then there's the screenshot of your hand in frame handing Dieter his teacup. And the subtitle underneath: thanks baby. 

You sort the comments by top, eyes scanning the thousands of comments in the discussion.   

Holy shit the way he looks at her. 

I heard he's dating some guy in Germany

How old is she?

My friend signed an NDA but she told me that Dieter totally fucked her in his hotel room after doing coke off her tits. 

You can't tell me he's not smitten

He’s not the type to settle down so I hope she doesn’t fall too hard

He looks so hawt there

It's giving soulmates

She's cute! I hope they're happy together.

She's his employee!!!!! Stop being gross and assuming based on nothing!!!

Get urself a guy who looks at you like that

He called her baby. BABY. I'm fucking feral. 

I love him your honor.

They're clearly fucking

She dresses like shit

This is how my husband looked at me during our first date. Fifty two years and three kids later he still looks at me that way. 

For some reason this is the comment that stills your fingers. 

You re-read it and your pathetic hormone-filled mind creates a tapestry of a future you’ll never have. One of you and Dieter older, watching your child playing in the pool. Dieter is looking at you with adoration as you press a kiss to his waiting mouth.  

Stop it stop it stop it.

You need to forget this. You turn on your music, finding a blasting piece by NIN and let it overwhelm  your brain. Your head tilts back against the tub, your eyes falling shut. In this moment you feel your mind fixed on the music, you feel your muscles releasing. You just want to stay in this moment forever…

“Hey you in there?”

Your eyes jolt open to see that the sky outside the small window is dark and the water you sit in is tepid. How long were you out for? You glance at the door with blurry eyes, hearing the gentle knock turning urgent and Dieter fumbling with the knob.

“Hey are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you call out, scrambling out of the tub and tugging on a robe. “Sorry, yeah I fell asleep.”

You twist the knob open and look at him towering over you in the doorframe, his dark eyes heavy with worry.

“What’s going on? You okay?”

“Just tired,” you say about to say more when your eyes fly open in realization.

“Shit! I forgot to plug your phone in!” you say, moving past him to plug it in now in the kitchen where he left it. He inhales the scent of coconut from your skin as you sail by and feels his stomach twist pleasurably.

He watches you fumbling to plug the charger in and it flashes green, showing its charging. It’ll be a bit before it’s finished though. Fuck, you only have the one job here in Ireland; be Dieter’s assistant. You fought so hard to keep your job and you’re completely fucking it up these days.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Hey hey,” Dieter grabs your elbow, noting the sheen to your eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Just a shitty day,” you say sighing heavily. “I’m really sorry about the phone.”

“Fuck the phone,” Dieter says with a shrug. His dark eyes are scanning your face. He can see that you’re upset. “I wanna know what has you so upset.”

He sounds so earnest, like he actually cares. Sometimes it’s hard to forget that he’s a really good actor.

“Nothing,” you insist with a false smile. “I got some of your dress shirts sent back from the cleaners. They’re hung in your closet in case you want to change. And uh-“

Your words falter as you look up into Dieter’s face to see him staring at you with an unfocussed look in his eyes. He’s staring at your chest and you glance down to see the deep vee of the robe has exposed much of your cleavage.

The realization should embarrass you, but if anything it makes your breathing come out shallow. The familiar thrumming is back between your legs, making you press your thighs together tightly. Dieter observes this, eyes moving shrewdly from your hips back to your face.

"You need some help," Dieter says huskily and it isn't a question. His hands are already at your waist, thumbs hovering over the sash of your plush robe.

"No...I...."

"I told you if you need release you come to me," Dieter murmurs. "Anytime you need it."

"But your dinner with Mia," you tell him worriedly.

"You come first," he says without thinking. His hands have already begun untying your robe. His eyes dart to your face. "If you want it."

"Yeah," you nod, feeling overcome. "Yeah, I want it."

The second the words leave your mouth he's tugging your robe open

You easily succumb to Dieter's mouth and hands and it's not long before he has you beneath him in his large bed, both of you naked and writhing in the expensive sheets. He's already made you come with his mouth and now his cock hits deliciously deep. 

"I can't.... You're so fucking wet," he breathes into your mouth, eyes fixed on yours as you gaze up at him. "So fucking tight." 

"Dieter," you groan, allowing him to suck your tongue into his mouth. He kisses as deeply as he fucks before pulling back and brushing the hair from your face looking at your kiss-swollen lips and heavy lidded eyes. 

"You're so gorgeous when you let go," he murmurs gently, his hips moving lazily over yours. 

You don't want to look in his eyes for too long. It makes it too intimate so you touch your forehead to his. The two of you watch where he enters you, soaked in your arousal. Your belly protrudes deliciously and Dieter realizes that this may be the last time he can fuck you in this position.

"We look so good," Dieter groans, brows saddling. You can't reply, your eyes are cheating to the back of your head now because the pleasure is building. 

He fucks you hard into the mattress moaning into the crook of your neck all manner of vulgarities. You cling to him; arms wrapped so tightly around his neck you worry you're suffocating him. But he's not complaining, he's kissing your neck, hips rolling against yours. 

The only sound in the room is your combined panting and the sound of his flesh hitting yours as he withdraws and sheaths himself completely over and over and when he comes he does so holding your body tightly to his. 

"You didn't come," he pants with a frown. He can tell. He didn't feel that sweet fluttering and clench around his cock. He wants it. 

"I didn't care about that," you tell him, kissing him gently. "I just wanted... I just wanted to feel you."

You can't explain it better than that but Dieter doesn't press you. He looks at you with a serious look before nodding and withdrawing from you. You go to leave the bed and go to your room but Dieter holds you to him. 

"Stay here a little longer,” he huffs gently against your earlobe.

In this bed you won't be alone. You won't have to distract yourself in your room. You won’t have to think about the bad things.  

"Okay."

You’ve forgotten about his date with Mia. Forgotten about everything awful with your Dad. All you feel and think right now is about Dieter and how good he smells and feels wrapped around you.

Dieter feels how you relax into his arms, something you’ve never really done. Just laying with you here in his bed, in sheets that will now smell of you has his heart aching instead of his cock. He could do this for hours, just holding you.

“Would it really be insane?” Dieter asks before he can stop himself, his voice huffing along the back of your neck. “I mean, you’re carrying my kid. Would us being together-“

Panic overtakes you. What the fuck is he suggesting? This is exactly why you didn’t want this to happen. Dieter is such a romantic at heart, so easily swayed if he’s fucked someone. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. And you refuse to be another phase for Dieter, even if he doesn’t know that’s what he is going through.

“Dieter I’m your employee,” you snap, interrupting him. “And after this baby is out of me I won’t even be in the same city as you.”

Dieter feels his body go tense. “Since when?”

“Since I agreed to do this for three hundred thousand dollars,” you inform him. You can practically hear the wheels turning in Dieter’s head as you say this.

“What does that matter?”

“I’m going to pay off my mom’s mortgage and I’m going back to school in Sacramento.”

“Wait, what the fuck? Sacramento? Since when?”

Suddenly the bed feels oppressive and Dieter’s arms feel constricting. You pull away from him, going to grab your robe. He watches your body move from the bed, a vessel of fertility and beauty and mystifying frustration.

“Wait, can’t we talk about this?”

“No,” you say sharply, tying the sash around your waist. “Dieter we talked about this being a release-based system. Not a romantic relationship.”

Dieter feels as if he’s been slapped.

“What about Mia? She’s waiting for you at some restaurant right now.” You glance at the clock before crossing your arms over your chest. “If you leave here now you can still make dessert.”

“You want me to go?”

“You should.”

A coldness enters Dieter’s eyes at that bitten off reply and he nods before pulling himself from the warmth of the bed. You watch him move through the room in his boxers, closing the door behind him with a firm finality. 

[Personal Diary D. Bravo – 21 weeks]

Places I want to take Baby Bravo

Chile (show him where I grew up)

Disneyland (when he’s old enough)

London: maybe he’ll get an accent

Fiji – mini island (no paps)

Places I want to take her

Chile

Hawaii –

Buenos Aires (teach her tango)

Italy (she loves pizza)

Anywhere she wants

Today Dieter is filming in Powerscourt.

You are pacing outside the set; far away enough that you won't disturb filming as you finish up a phone call with Diane back home, setting up a sponsorship meeting that Dieter is in the running for. You hang up the phone just as you wander around the back garden of the palatial estate they’ve rented for this scene.

You’re about to turn back and head inside, your feet are getting swollen these days. But movement catches your eyes and you pause.

Two figures are tucked away behind the building; Mia leaning back against the wall, eyes tilted up coquettishly as she takes a puff of the cigarette. Dieter has one palm flat against the wall above her shoulder, angling himself towards her. 

You can't hear what they're saying to one another but you watch them both laugh passing the cigarette between themselves. It reminds you of the teens in high school who would sneak off at lunch, sharing smokes in secrecy. 

It feels intimate, like something you shouldn't see. You watch him smile at her, his dark eyes soft as he moves his lips to hers and you hold your breath as she meets him halfway, mouth pressing against his. 

You know what that mouth feels like. Soft and strong. Tasting of whiskey or cigarettes or that mint gum he's always chewing. You feel a longing sigh escape you. 

You feel something in your gut twisting and you realize it must be the baby. You turn away before you have to watch anymore of this, your face in a grim line. You take a seat back inside on the set, wincing as the staff go to retrieve Dieter and Mia from outside.

The two of them come back onto the set with secret smiles on their faces.

“Hey,” Dieter says coming to squeeze your shoulder gently. “Did you get a hold of Diane?”

“Yep,” you force a smile on your face. “She wants us all to face time later tonight.”

“I might have plans,” Dieter murmurs, his eyes sailing to Mia getting her lipstick touched up. She feels his gaze on her and casts a small smile in his direction.

You feel a sickening sensation in your gut and you clear your throat, trying to come off as casual. You twist the ring on your finger, the one he gave you, and try not to look upset.

“We’ll work around your schedule.”

The scene begins as Mia wanders into the library to see Dieter in a drunken rage before he grabs a chair and throws it brutally through a mirror. You watched that scene being filmed a few weeks ago, but this is the second part.

You watch the power in his shoulders and muscles twisting under his lawn shirt as he throws the chair off-screen. He spins back around; dark eyes fixed on a cowering Mia dressed in a flimsy nightdress who backs enticingly against a bookcase. 

“And now,” Dieter drawls, his voice husky. “I get what’s mine.”

He goes to Mia, gripping her by the back of the neck and kissing her fiercely. Mia feigns horror, trying to back away from him, but all too soon her arms are coming to wrap around his neck as he grips her thigh, urging it around his waist.

You can’t watch this.

You slide off the chair and head to the shuttle, needing to go back to the rental.

When the director calls cut shortly after and Dieter’s eyes rise to where you were sitting, he's deflated to see the chair empty. 

#dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo #dieter x reader #dieter bravo smut #pedro pascal dieter #fanfics #pedro pascal fanfiction

[cheolhub]

UR INVITED 2 CHEOLHUB'S 1ST BDAY BASH!

ABOUT THE EVENT ☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

HELLOOOOO! ok first of all, no one comment on my header (unless ur complimenting it 😊), i dropped my art minor after 3 months bc i lack artistic skill and i’ve made it very clear here. NEXT, it’s not MY birthday but cheolhub will officially be a YEAR old on the 26th of august & i wanted to celebrate with a lil sleepover event :> i've had so many ups and downs while running this blog and have almost abandoned it more times than i can count, so i just want to say CHEERS to cheolhub (aka sar aka me) for making it this far <3 i am eternally grateful for every kind message, every piece of feedback, and everyone who has been supporting me and my silly lil blog. i love u guys sm and would’ve been long gone without you T^T <3 i hope you'll join the celebration!! -3- and if this flops, you’ll never hear from me again /j /j /j

i knowww it’s early, but i start uni classes again next week (my last semester, yay 😻) and i wanna have time to do an event T-T

SLEEPOVER DATES ☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

this event runs for about two weeks! from sunday, august 13th to sunday, august 27th. any asks sent after august 27th will be deleted!

please note that i’ll still be working on asks (if i have any left) even after the event is closed.

EVENTS ☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

！★﹕ᶻ﹐LET'S EAT﹒

☆︎ who's hungry? 👹🍽 request a short (less than 1k) drabble and you shall receive. i will be writing the first 5-10 requests due to my busy uni schedule :3 — choose a prompt (or two) from this prompt list + a member from seventeen, txt or the boyz! [closed] (ik the list isnt numbered, so just copy + paste ur preferred prompt(s) ><)

★︎ mtl for seventeen and txt! [open]

☆︎ hard hours for any group i write for! [refer to my guidelines to see who i write for] [open]

！★﹕ᶻ﹐ TIME 4 SELF CARE﹒[open]

★︎ let's do the things that make us happy! what makes us happier than being delusional and horny? you guessed it! being shipped with a hottie 😻 — this is the SHIP GAME + i’ll give you a silly little trope to kickstart ur epic romance

☆︎ OR opt for a personalized moodboards or playlists based off the vibes you give off! (mutuals can get both a moodboard and playlist if they’d like bc i would diy for all of u -3- just say u want both so i know<3333)

note: anonymous senders, please send me a few bits of info like your mbti, ult group and/or bias (does not have to be a group i stan!), star sign (big three if you know it), favorite color, etc. basically anything you want to share + one of the options above. mutuals can ask for any of the above, but providing info is totally optional!!

！★﹕ᶻ﹐WANNA PLAY A GAME?﹒[open]

☆︎ q&a!

ask me anything! favorite movie, how i got into writing, what i do when i’m not writing, why i only ult leaders etc. but please nothing too personal!

★︎ my opinions on literally ANYTHING!

☆︎ ask me for fic recs or give me fic recs!

★︎ fuck, marry, kiss (not kill bc i do not condone violence… not on here at least /lh)

☆︎ would you rather

note: you can send as many of these as you’d like :p i like answering them <3

RULES ☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

everything for this event will be tagged under #[ birthday bash ! ] you can block the tag to avoid seeing the posts!

please make sure to get your ask in within the time frame (aug 13th-27th)

minors, please please please do not interact!

be respectful and patient! — the drabbles, mtls & hard hours may take longer for me to get through, but i’ll try my absolute hardest to get them done in a timely manner <3

when sending an ask, be sure to mention the event so i can differentiate between those and my regular asks :)

have fun! ⭐️⭐️

#[ birthday bash ! ] #vernon and the cat r literally twins #send an ask 🤬 (non-threatening)

[littlemisspascal]

New Writers added to The Pedro Library 🐼

@atticrissfinch @stylesispunk

New Works Added ✨

Many fics aren’t appearing in the tags when searching. If I miss yours, please let me know 💗 Or add me to your taglist cuz I love being tagged 😊

As always, if you would like me to remove your work from the rec list, please let know and I’ll remove them asap 😊

@absurdthirst Joel Kinktober Mutual Masturbation / @storiesofthefandomlovers Oberyn The Dornish Sun / Marcus M Kinktober Virginity / Ezra Kinktober Fingering/Handjob

@swiftispunk @joelscruff Joel Shared + Flesh and Metal

@fuckyeahdindjarin Joel Butter

@tightjeansjavi Joel As Natural As Another Leg Around You in the Bed Frame 

@ezrasbirdie Joel Observations

@beskarandblasters Joel Mothman Fever + Pillow Queen

@pedropascalsx Joel Peaches / Dave Kinktober Mutual Masturbation / Frankie Kinktober Virginity 

@eupheme Joel Looking Back

@whatsnewalycat Joel What Do You Need?

@criticallyacclaimedstranger Joel The Artist and the Builder 

@scarerjh Joel I’ll Go Wherever You Wanna Take Me Beautiful!

@undercoverpena Javier Come Away With Me and We’ll Kiss / Joel Comfort Came Against My Will

@cool-iguana Javier Feeling Better

@wheresarizona Javier Terra Incognita

@psychedelic-ink Oberyn + Max A Court of Fangs and Foxgloves / Joel Biting Down + On Your Mark + That Pretty Girlfriend/ Frankie Fuck It I Love You

@veritable-trash Oberyn May Our Flowers Always Bloom 

@novemberrain-writes Oberyn Whumptober Poisoned

@sirowsky Oberyn The Old Prince

@stardustandskycrystals Frankie To Get Away From It All

@youvebeenlivingfictional Frankie Kinktober Day 2

@littlemisspascal Frankie Bitter Ends Turn Sweet in Time 

@insomniamamma Ezra Gravity / Frankie We Came Along This Road 

@moonlight-prose Din Love is a Fire That Burns Unseen / Joel Thrills

@ladamedusoif Din Tempered in the Fire

@bits-and-babs Din Keen

@clareguilty Din Hunted

@wardenparker @absurdthirst Max Vampire Waltz

@agentwhiskeysdarlin Whiskey Fooled Around and Fell in Love

@blueeyesatnight Marcus M What Do You Think They Called Us?  / Marcus P Midnight Surprise

@never--doubt Marcus P Stay a Little While Longer

@flightlessangelwings Pero Kinktober Overstimulation

@oogaboogasphincter Dave Black Jaguar

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #my library

[kaiserkisser]

mutuals appreciation post <333

hello, everyone. this is my end of year mutuals appreciation post to thank each and every one of you here, who has put up with me enough to be friends with me. I simply can't put it into words how much I love yall and how much im grateful to all of you for being here, but I'll still try. I wish all of you a very very happy new year ❤

@delusina kaz, thank you. thank u sm for everything. you were my first mutual and i love you sm for that. almost all the friends i have right now, they're thanks to you. i still remember sending you cat pics every week in the beginning (im sorry i forgot to continue that 😭) and you and vi are the reason ✿❀ anon exists <3 ilysmm <333

@floraldresvi VIVI. ILYSM. ik ive already sent you a new year ask but still i can never express my appreciation for you enough <3 thank you sm vi for literally always being there for me, and i hope i can return the favor whenever you need :) i lovelovelove seeing you in my notifs :)) also baivi rules <333

@chosokisser mai my bbg my love /p again, ive already mesaaged you, but still, im so glad i have you in my life. if you need absolutely anything, if you just wanna talk to smn, or anything, ill always be here. in fact, we can even commit arson together if you want :DD and remember that me and choso adore you to heaven and back <333

@haithamvoid again, thank you sm for being friends with me. <33 im literally so glad for the day i opened tumblr to find mai forcing us to socialize XD we seem to have a bunch of shared interests and i remember the times we sent each other a bunch of kaiser (and gojo??) pics ehehe (also if you play genshin then on which server-)

@damyoujackson uhm thank u sm for being my irl bestie. I mean it. honestly i dont think ive actually had a friend i clicked with as much as i did with you in a long time. ik its probably not easy putting up with someone weird like me so erm tysm.. in all seriousness im really glad we're friends <33 ( we do NOT talk abt this in school OKAY.) (<- me being awkward)

@noomon you are an absolutely amazing, warm and pleasant person to be around! (And i love your aesthetic too omg) anyways you're very caring and nice and i always perk up whenever i see you in my notifs or inbox <33

@mikacynth mikaaa its been agesss i hope you're doing alright and uni is treating you well </3 again, one of my first mutuals that i interacted with bc you were a 'mutual in law' of mine hehe :) you're also an awesome and fun person to be around, so remember that me and kaeya love u <333

@yinyinggie yingg! You're such a big blog, so thank you sm for interacting with me! you're totally wonderful, and im so glad i got to participate in the ebg hosted by you hehe that was SO much fun <333(and it hurt my heart too but nvm-) anyways ilysmm <33

@alexisomnias aaah alexisss we dont interact much these days but still, i love you so so much, you are someone i always love seeing on my dash or in my notifs <3 and i adore alekav too its so cutee <333

@kitorin omg yes soutaa you're another person who shows up on my dash often and i love that you do <3 i hope you dont mind all the times ive tagged you in smth ahshshdhb i also always smile whenever i see u in my notifs so thank u smm for being moots with me <33

also to @ilyuu @m1shapanda @supernova25 @chooodles @camvrin @meidnightrain we havent interacted much this year, but ive loved seeing you guys often on my dash so i hope we interact more this next year <333 please dont mind me tagging you dhshsh

Happy New Year to all of you!!!! I hope you all have all the joys of the world and that all your wishes get fulfilled, because you guys totally deserve it 💕

I found a little something too here that i wanted to share with all of you since i thought you guys might like it <333

#🔮rambles~ #🔮beloved-mutuals<333

[grumpy-liebgott]

HBOWar Fandom Q/A

Thank you for the tag @sharkboyandlavalieb <33

Name/Alias: Zowie

Country: I'm not comfortable with sharing that, but I can say that I'm from Asia

Which of the series have you seen - BOB, P, GK, MOTA:

I've watched Band of Brothers a few times, The Pacific once (but I'm going to rewatch it soon), and currently watching Generation Kill!

Use an emoji or ONE word to describe your favourite character in an hbowar miniseries: 🍫 and 📻 (that's two characters btw)

Ultimate ship (if any): webgott andddddd winnix

Favourite fic:

make it up as we go along by Anonymous

I read this fic when I just got into BoB, and it's SO GOOD.

What are some ways you interact in the fandom: I like, comment and reblog other people's posts, creations and fics. I wanna write but I'm lazy and afraid to start.

Favourite colour: blue!

Current favourite song: there's so many, but I'm gonna say Sparks by Coldplay, and Do Me a Favour by Arctic Monkeys.

What would you say if I held up a can of peaches?: "It's a can of peaches, sir"

Complete this sentence: "Where the hell is ___ company?!" FOX

Other accounts or socials?: I don't have any

List one other fandom member (mutual or follower you admire) for some appreciation: @blood-mocha-latte just because I absolutely ADORE her works (fics and edits)

@mutantmanifesto for her beautiful and amazing art

@staud because I love love love her edits

Tags: @blueberry-ovaries @whollyjoly @panzershrike-pretz @cajunmerriell @mutantmanifesto @blood-mocha-latte @staud and anyone else who'd like to do this!

[thehazbins]

Rules Old Rules! Please see Carrd!!

🎀 !! 18+ Only !! Mun is 33, and doesn't have any interest in interacting with minors. Sorry.

🎀 Basic rules of respect, okay? No one liners if the other writes a paragraph, no godmodding, no metagaming, etc. Don't reblog memes and stuff I post without interacting. You know the drill. Respect me, I'll respect you.

🎀There will be NSFW, I will tag it with nsfh (not safe for heaven) but if you don't like that stuff- maybe follow with caution if you want to follow. I won't be hurt if you don't. We can still interact!

🎀I am not mutuals only! I'll probably follow if we start interacting unless there's something about your page I don't want on my dash (what I'm not sure but I guess it's a possibility?) Just feel free to message me!

🎀 Please feel free to message me. I am a ball of anxiety. I'm trying to reach out to people more but it's hard. So please feel free to hit me up first. I'll be so happy that you did!

🎀I am going to try to be playing canon characters, I cannot guarantee 100% canon accuracy as I am not vivzie. Please bear with me and enjoy my way of writing them for who they are.

🎀 I love ships. I will ship with probably anyone that I have chemistry with... so hit me up. Let's talk. ( Polyamory, LGBT, all fine by me. You know the shit that isn't, seriously. P*dophilia, Inc*st, etc are NOT.)

🎀 OC Friendly, obviously. Just like to say it!

🎀 I likely won't be exclusive but if we want to do a little verse for a group or whatever, I'm down for that!

🎀 Trigger Tagging. I don’t personally have any that I know of and I will try to tag everything appropriately. If you need me to tag anything specifically let me know and I’ll do my best!

🎀 Dupes okay! I will happily RP with others who play the same muses I do. I enjoy other takes. I also tag all mine with muse; name for the muse. So for example the tag would look like. muse; lilith so you can follow comfortably and blog the tags if you don't wanna see my take on a charcter!

🎀On the same note, if you want exclusivity- I'm honestly fine with making a sideblog or moving on to private RPs elsewhere if you use discord or some such but still want to interact with me.

🎀I am willing to set up a verse more exclusive to you though- and set up a verse specific tag.

🎀Uncertain about crossovers, I'd prefer you come to hellaverse if that's okay!

🎀If I follow you back I've probably checked your age and that's about it. I will read your rules if we interact though! If I follow first, I've probably at least skimmed them and will go over again should we interact.

🎀On that note, I will try to follow rules but I follow/follow back a lot of people and don't always end up remembering who's rules are who's.

🎀I have a discord I'm willing to share if anyone wants to chat over it or plot!

🎀 I have the freedom to change these when I please.

#// If you want me to know you've read them #just like the post #I don't need that confirmation tho #archived blog set up

[platinumaspiration]

well, @brandinotbroke just gave my ego the hugest boost with this tag game! I really shouldn't play this while in a bad mood tho :p

What’s your favourite sims death? I would have to say...probably flies. Never had it happen in my game (naturally), tho

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? 4t2 maxis match conversions, because it's gross and ugly :p No, but for real, I like all cc. People put a lot of time and love into what they create/convert/retexture/recolor. I think that should be recognized.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No...who does that?

4. Do you use move objects? Yes, kind of have to sometimes!

5. Favorite mod? I had to go into my main save for this one haha. I'd say...all the anti-corruption mods. And to piggy back off of brandinotbroke, ACR! The rest I could probably live without if I could ever sort my folder. Oh, also, one mod I'd really like to give a try is Story Progression by LazyDuchess.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? First purchased was Christmas 2005. My parents gifted me Sims 2 and then my birthday a month later I got University, I believe. I should show you all the video of me opening it and running off to play haha. First played was, I wanna say Urbz! and Bustin' Out. We would rent those from the video store.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? Alive. I recently found out my IRL BFF pronounces it as Living. I've known her almost 20 years and feel like I don't know her anymore 😅

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Rhiannon, one of my model sims, but all 4 of my models are my favorite. I really should put Rhiannon as a townie in my uberhood. She deserves a life outside of posing.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes, like 18 years ago lol. Ended up corrupting the hood trying to move me with my 10 same face kids to a new neighborhood. I've really enjoyed the premade sims ever since.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? of sims 3 traits: absent-minded, light sleeper, brooding, over-emotional, nurturing, workaholic, frugal

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? TS4's #13 - Honey Blond

12. Favorite EA hair? probably aflongsimple or affuzzylongep

13. Favorite life stage? oh gosh... probably adult in any game lol

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? gameplay, I'll let @plumbtales and @kestrelteens do the building and inspo!

15. Are you a CC creator? I don't think I've created anything myself. I've converted a ton of stuff tho! I'd love to create something, but textures are so difficult for my brain to understand. I commend those who retexture!

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? Yeah! Baby Gang! lol, not like we do anything other than play online pvp games and share cc wips

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) 2 is my ultimate, though I'd love to dive back into Sims 3

18. Do you have any sims merch? Maybe someday @microscotch and I can make something palpable

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Not gameplay (yet).

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Well, I had dial up internet until about 2010 so... figure that one out haha. But yeah, I was a semi-realistic kind of girl up until about... 2020? 2021? when i made the switch to 4t2. Still working on becoming completely 4t2.

21. What’s your Origin ID? n/a lmao

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? Oh gosh, there's too many. All my mutuals, I love ya and your cc! Even some people who are not mutuals with me are my absolute favorite. I could never choose haha.

23. How long have you had a simblr? I think I just had my 2 year anniversary.

24. How do you edit your pictures? I recently commissioned the Queen of Renders ™ @microscotch to take preview pics for me while i was out of town lol. She also made me a photoshop template as well. (Go get a commission, she's having a sale right now 😉) For gameplay, I let reshade do the work for me and crop/size it to 700x934

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Brandinotbroke gave the best answer haha. I honestly don't know what kit EA can come up with next

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? For Sims 2, probably Nightlife. The first 3 EPs, honestly. Sims 3 has to be Ambitions and Generations. Idk about Sims 4 as most I've played is about 2 hours in Strangerville as the Beakers.

Gonna tag baby gang, feel free to ignore! @microscotch @tvickiesims @lordcrumps @simsisit

thank you again to brandinotbroke for making my day, my week, my month and maybe even my year.

#tag game

[mayahawkins]

no one asked me to list my fav blogs but i’m just gonna make my own end of year follow forever bc i wanna rant abt my talented friends, beloved mutuals, and just people i follow that i have never spoken to but who are such a joy to see on my dash. so, without further ado, maddy’s 2022 follow forever:

@strangeswift abby strangeswift, my beloved. you were the first person i talked to in this fandom and i’m so glad u were bc u are the sweetest most kind person ever. you are so supportive of all your friends and mutuals and u make me wanna be a more outwardly loving and supportive person fr. i remember when u wrote that lil ficlet based on my text post and i’m p sure i almost cried bc i felt so special that someone had been inspired by something i had said to write smth so wonderful. you’re an incredible writer and i am always so excited anytime you post any of your writing. i can’t wait to read more of your fics and am so patiently waiting for MilevenVision (as much as i may bug u for crumbs). i’m so glad to call you a friend <3

@elekinetic ella ella, bonded in shared discord trauma so ur never getting rid of me. i feel so honoured to call you a friend bc you are one of the best people i know. you are so smart and level-headed and loyal as hell to your friends. you are also so kind and you're so deliberate with what you say and how you say it. you defs intimidated me the first few times we talked but now im like oh ya ella, my amazing talented friend ella. your scripts give me so much life. and not just your st ones but your original ones as well. can't wait to one day see "ella elekinetic hexagirl" in movie credits (bc obviously ur last name is ur url). and your OCs?? i have never once become obsessed with someone's OCs the way i can't stop thinking abt yours. that's what you've done to me. you are so incredibly talented and ily <3

@andiwriteordie ANNDDIIIIII ILY FR <3 u are so insanely talented and kind and wonderful. i’m so happy we started talking recently bc u have truly brightened the last few weeks of the year. u got me back into watching merlin so thank u for the pain u will surely cause me as i rewatch this show i haven’t seen in almost a decade. ur fics were some of the first that i read in the byler fandom and that means u will always hold a special place in my heart. i remember the first time i read your let's hear it for the boys series and i was just like omg i'm obsessed with this. i have absolutely adored every single one i’ve read (even though i’m a lil behind on them rn oops but i will catch up) and can’t wait to see what else you write. your atla!au (and the newly brainstormed merlin!au) live in my head rent free and i can’t wait to read them if you write them.

@nnilkyway my fellow emo will truther <3 yvie i love you dearly. you are so incredibly talented i could scream abt ur artwork literally for days. your fanworks and your original art and your doodles are all beautiful and stunning. the day we started talking and you sent me the lil doodle you did of emo will byers i think i actually cried at how much i loved it and that it had come from our conversation about it. i saved it onto my camera roll so i can come back to it easier that's how much i love it. you are also one of the funniest people on here, your tags almost always have me rolling. i can't wait to see what beautiful art you draw in the new year.

@finalgirlbyers sierra lovqbrl madcleradin finalgirlbyers!!!! i know we haven’t talked much but i love seeing u on my dash and u always have the best takes and theories and just posts in general. i know i've said that literally multiple times to you but it cannot be overstated how correct you always are. one of my fav people to follow on here.

people i don't talk to but whose presence is a joy to have on my dash:

@astrobei an absolutely incredible writer that wrote some of my fav fics. one of the best will fics, not all the prayers, that truly is just so unbelievably amazing. like the care that you can just tell went into that fic is just incredible. Some absolutely incredible lines that will punch you right in the gut in the best way possible.

@blueeandyellowmakesgreen jade! one of the coolest people, has some of the most amazing art over on @azuries, like it's actually so amazing and people need to go look at it and reblog it now immediately

@mlchaelwheeler an absolute joy to follow. so many good posts and im fr rooting for mike with a sword in s5 just for her

@elmaxed their fics were some of the first i read in the byler fandom and i absolutely fell in love with them. they hold such a dear place in my heart. also one of the sweetest people fr, one of the first to compliment my gifs and so they are forever in my mind for that <3

@smoosnoom omg their fics!!! are!!!! incredible!!!! so many wonderful fics, i was just looking through my bookmarks and i swear half of them are theirs. the one about mike's will voice has my whole heart.

@wiseatom another lovely fic writer, and one who titles her fics with taylor swift lyrics bc she Gets It!!! also one of the sweetest people in the fandom, always seems to be supporting other people.

@kidovna one of the most talented artists in this fandom oh my GOD. i cannot praise her and her art enough idk how what else to even say besides amazing incredible talented showstopping

@byeler wrote one of my all time fav fics, Heavy Hopes, with my beloved trope, oblivious jealous mike, which is truly *chef's kiss*. such a good writer like it cannot be overstated

@ice-sculptures a truly amazing gifmaker. gifs so many little byler moments that are so precious that i've definitely missed when watching the show.

@william-byers an absolutely incredible gif maker. taylor swift and stranger things together on one blog, what more could you want?

@padme-amidala makes some of the most beautiful gifs ever oh my goodness, her gifs are part of what inspired me to start making gifs and to challenge my gifmaking. i hope to one day be as good as she is.

@robiinbuckley also makes some of the most beautiful gifs, literally in awe of her gifs. also inspired my gifmaking journey and has inspired me to challenge myself when it comes to gifmaking.

#personal #follow forever #blog recs

[ninjagirlstar5]

Protag Teruya AU - Prologue Part 1 - The Beach Intro

Finally deciding to post snippets of the prologue of the Protag Teruya AU! I’m getting closer to finishing the prologue in it’s entirely so once that is done, I’m gonna post it on AO3 and then share it from there. The Tumblr parts will be cut up and shorter than the updates on the AO3 for those who prefer shorter and more digestible updates. The AO3 version is for those who like to sit down for longer reads.

No TWs apply to this current post.

The Mart (Part 2) | The Park (Part 3) | The Tower (Part 4) | The Cottage (Part 5) | The Boardwalk (Part 6) | The Beach Episode (Final)

Prologue Part 2 Beginning

Next Acts: [Act I] The Price of a Forged Bond

[Edit]DISCLAIMER: So, I’ve been discussing things with some mutuals and I decided to update the tags and formally put up this disclaimer. If you read the tags, you’ll notice I put the Sannotori tag (although Teruya won’t be reciprocating just yet). I just wanna put this up as I want to be honest with ya’ll. I know Sannotori isn’t really well-liked due to canon events of SDRA2 between Teruya and Mikado (which makes sense since Mikado is literally the mastermind and Teruya wouldn’t like him at all and considering Chapter 5...yeah, I can tell this ship is usually problematic). At least, from what I can tell. But while I love the enemies to lovers trope, especially when it comes to these two, their relationship in this is nothing like the canon dynamic as Mikado isn’t as bad as he was in canon and that the ship will be in this AU. So I will be using the Sannotori tag going forward, especially whenever their dynamic is in the Tumblr update.

The Protag Teruya AU was inspired by @/anotherprofessional’s post! Beware of Void spoilers though!

It all felt like a dream.

It had to be, because he couldn’t believe what had happened.

What happened…?

He — wasn’t sure. He couldn’t — think.

It was just — hard.

Hard to breathe.

Hard to think.

It was cold.

And yet, he felt hot.

With no one there to comfort him.

All alone in this suffocating place.

This couldn’t be happening.

He can’t let this be happening.

He made a promise to them.

A promise to himself, for all the pain he’s been put through…

It hurts.

It…

      hurts…

                   H e l p.

-♥-

“Sir…?”

He twitched.

That was the first thing he sensed in his mind.

The second thing was the sounds of something crashing and rolling against the ground.

‘Waves…?’ His mind supplied, with an instinct reminding him that something was wrong.

“Sir.”

He cringed, his face scrunching up at the loud sounds.

Something coarse and dry was underneath him, uncomfortable and yet warm. Almost comfy with the heat beaming down on him.

“Sir!”

He grit his teeth at the sound of the voice. He wanted to keep lying down on the ground. Which was sand. Definitely sand, yeah. When he finally gave in and opened his eyes, light burned bright in his vision and he had to close them again. Something soft brushed along his forehead and it encouraged him to open his eyes one more time, squinting as he let his vision adjust. A bright blue sky greets him with the sun beaming down on him. But that wasn’t the only thing that met his gaze.

A man was kneeling over him with a strange white mask with its amused, almost mischievous expression painted over in red. If he wasn’t already laying down on the ground, he would’ve leaned away from the frightful image before him. The cape and hat did nothing to lessen the effect of the man’s appearance, with a sun emblem attached to the hat and a clasp keeping his cape around his shoulders. And then the mask blinked and he felt his heart drop in his stomach.

“I believe it is rude to stare, sir.” The man’s voice was deep and masculine, kindly in tone but still creepy with the way his mask shifts as if it were speaking. He opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was awkward sounds that couldn’t form words. The mask blinks again before shifting into an entirely different expression of its own free will: awkward concern. “Ah, am I making you uncomfortable?”

“Y…Y-Yes…” His own voice was a lot more awkward than he expected, but it was his and he accepted it. He thought it was rude to admit it, but he’d rather put as much distance as he can from the man before him. And that mask was not helping, with the way it moves like an actual face. With that one word, the man puts distance between them, lifting his face away from his own.

“I apologize. I sometimes get a little too close to others despite being quite picky with touch.” The man then scratches at the back of his head, the cape lifting with the movement to reveal his outfit underneath. Which was a lot more simple compared to the eccentric creepiness of the mask and strange cape and hat combo: a white button-up with unbuttoned cuffs and white gloves, a double-sided orange tie, black trousers and brown slip-on shoes. The mask suddenly changes to look more cheerful with an open mouth and pointy eyelids, and he lifts both of his arms up. “Ah, perhaps I should give you a demonstration of my magic!”

“Your…magic?” He could feel a bit more strength coming back to his voice and his muscles, to the point that he decided to test out his body. It wasn’t all that difficult to prop up his elbows and lift himself up slightly. The mask looked pleased.

“Yes! And it’s nothing like those parlor tricks those fake magicians do to entertain. Mine is very much real, mister…?” He trails off, tilting his head as he puts down one of his hands onto his lap. It took him a moment to realize that the man was asking him for his name and he hesitated. He didn’t want to give away his name to this stranger, let alone one that claimed to specialize in magic. What if he steals it with his magic? His name is important, it’s his identity, he…

…he’s drawing a blank.

He sat there, trying to search his brain for something, anything that resembled a name. Something to call himself so people would know who he is. Anything that would fit just right for him.

And yet, nothing.

“I…I can’t remember.” His eyes widened and he raised his tanned hand to his face. At least his body felt familiar but anything else about himself didn’t feel right. No, he felt nothing at all. Just one big blank in his memories and a past that had slipped away from him without another word. It was then that the panic started to settle in. “I-I can’t remember! I can’t, I can’t…!”

“Sir, calm down, please.” The man beside him moves to settle his hands on his shoulders, his mask morphing into its own wide-eyed expression. He flinched at the touch and tried to lean away but the man didn’t let go. He instead squeezed him in a surprisingly gentle way, his thumb rubbing circles into his shoulders. He hesitates, his brain telling him to distrust the stranger before him. But his gut wanted the comfort the man was offering and he quickly caves in to his feelings. He took deep breaths to calm himself and once he did, he raised one of his hands to hold the man’s. The mask blinks at the touch before he quickly pulls away, once again putting space between them. He blinked his own eyes in surprise at the reaction. “…Now that you’ve calmed down, we can continue our discussion. You said you can’t remember. Do you mean your name or…?”

"I…" He swallowed. "I can't remember anything."

Not his name.

Not his family.

Not his friends.

Not even his own home.

He knew the concepts of all of those words, but it's like his brain discarded any memories or meaning by forgetting everything that could relate to them.

It was frustrating.

And it was upsetting.

A sound of flames appearing and disappearing greeted his ears and he looked up to see the man holding out a handkerchief. He sniffled and realized his eyes had watered to the point of shedding tears. Fully embarrassed, he mutters his thanks before taking the handkerchief and rubbing his eyes.

"You may keep that if you'd like." The man said gently, his mask somehow softening up its expression. He wondered if it felt as soft as it looked. "It seems you have amnesia and for that, I’m sorry for your loss of identity. I'd suggest a name, but perhaps I should leave that to you?"

"Please." He said it without thinking. But now that he did, he realized he didn't want a random stranger to name him whatever they wanted. He wanted the choice to choose for himself, even if it was only a temporary name. The mask blinked at him and he realized he should probably clarify. "Please let me choose. At my own pace."

"Very well!" The man then claps his hands together. "Ah, I should introduce myself! I am the great Mikado Sannoji, the Ultimate Wizard that bends the very forces of nature to his will!" He spreads his hands out in a dramatic fashion. And, against all odds, it made him snort at the sight. The mask turns back into its cheerful smile. "Ah, there's a smile! I do hope we get along, sir."

"Uh…me too." He said a bit awkwardly. He still found the man, Mikado Sannoji, strange but he was friendly enough and seemed to care about his lack of memories. He sat up, looking around with his gaze as he took in the warm sand, the ocean waves crashing against the beach and palm trees swaying in the wind. It was very warm here, not necessarily sweltering but it was enough to get him to fan his face with his hands. "Are we…on an island?"

"Oh, an astute observation! At least you seem to be functioning well." Mikado said, and he couldn't help but side-eye him with slight annoyance. The wizard just scratched the back of his head with his mask shifting into a more goofy expression. It even stuck its tongue out somehow! "Do not take offense, that was merely a compliment. Do you wish to meet the others?"

"Others?" His eyes widen and he brings his legs closer to himself. "There are other people here??"

"Yes. I passed by them but I didn't feel like talking to them. Too many people can feel…suffocating." Mikado's mask shifts into a more downtrodden and flat expression, the eyelids nearly closing together. "But I suspect that the group must have dispersed at this point. All that will be left is us and our own introductions."

“I…see.” He sat there for a moment to take in the information. There were people nearby, which might mean they could know him. Perhaps even give him a hint of who he is and what his name was. But if they didn’t know who he was, then all he can do is integrate himself into the group as best as he can until he can see a doctor for his amnesia. Hopefully, he could recover his memory in full once he does. “Then, I’ll join you.” He slowly gets onto his feet, his legs aching as if they haven’t been moved in forever. But despite the soreness he was able to stand without much trouble. Mikado followed him up and it was then that he realized that the wizard looked to be almost a half a foot shorter than him. His mask then shifts into a grin.

“Would you like a mirror? It’d be a shame to let your handsomeness go unaware.” Mikado leaned forward, his tone of voice registering in his head which only made him baffled. Flattered, but baffled. He didn’t think now was the time to be flirting with each other. He just realized he has amnesia and lost so much in just the span of a few minutes.

…Still, it’s not like he remembers what he looks like. The best he could see was the clothes he wore and the color of his skin, but nothing of his face.

“...Sure. I’d like one.” He said, slowly nodding. Mikado eagerly rubbed his hands together.

“As you wish, my dear.” The wizard raised his hands and did the unthinkable.

His hands glowed red and the sand between them rose and burned from the flames that formed before him. His eyes grow wide at the sight of magic, literal magic, being performed right there in front of him. And before he knew it, the sand Mikado was bending with the fire dancing from his fingers formed into a thin, clean sheet of glass that reflected an image of a person. It took him a little longer to realize that the man standing before him was himself.

The man had grown out silver hair, his bangs framing his round angular face below his chin and covering his forehead. He had a pretty tall ahoge, probably a few centimeters at least, and his hair was tied into a low ponytail that hung off the side of his head. He blinked his green eyes, round and almond-shaped and his tanned skin was dotted with freckles all over his cheeks and arms. He wore a red shirt that had its sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a collar that reached his sternum, showing off his collar bones and a decent amount of skin. Gray trousers that were rolled up above his ankles, dark brown flats with a light brown ribbon tied around them and a black short-sleeved jacket that had a collar and two buttons that had a happy face and a sad face with a rainbow sewn onto its bottom. Just seeing that rainbow brought a smile to his face. He also had pilot goggles strapped to his head and a blue scarf wrapped around his neck, which somehow brought pangs of sadness in his chest. He couldn’t help but wonder why. He also had a small light brown backpack, and bits of jewelry on him like the green beaded necklace, different kinds of bracelets that were red, blue, black and gold on one wrist and a golden wristwatch on the other.

All things considered, despite the inappropriate timing with Mikado’s flirting, he did look pretty handsome. And clearly he had pretty good taste in fashion, so at least he wasn’t walking around like he was some sort of disaster. Or worse, butt naked.

That would’ve been so much more awkward.

Unfortunately, his clean appearance did nothing to give him any hints of what he’s been through before he lost his memory. He didn’t even look like he had washed up on shore after surviving a shipwreck. Unless his bag…

He hastily took off his bag, ripping it open to reveal–

–absolutely nothing.

“What? That’s it??” He even turned the bag over for good measure, just to see if anything would fall out. But alas, nothing came out. It was as empty as his eyes perceived it.

“…I see. Not even a wallet was left behind. Which could be its own dilemma, but one thing at a time.” Mikado said, once again rubbing the back of his head with a downer expression on his mask. He just slumped his shoulders and accepted that an easy answer wasn’t just going to fall onto his lap. He puts the bag back on and Mikado’s mask smiles again and drops his arms. It’s almost creepy with how wide the smile was. “Now, let us make our way to the cruise ship.”

“The what??” He gaped. He had a feeling he knew what a cruise ship was but his brain was coming up with a blank on what one looked like.

“Fufufu, never been on a cruise ship before?” The wizard’s mask stuck his tongue out. “Actually, neither have I! Nor do I remember getting on one either.”

“You…don’t?” The information that was just casually dropped onto his lap suddenly made his stomach turn. Mikado’s mask shifted from goofy to serious in a matter of seconds.

“Yes. And while I haven’t spoken to anyone personally, I did overhear the group discuss how they got here as I left. It seems that no one else knows why we’re here or how. Which seems to spell trouble for us all…” Mikado trails off, staring at his paling face. “But like I said before, one thing at a time. Let us introduce ourselves and then gather the group together to one spot to exchange information. How does that sound?”

“That…” He gulps, trying to push down the anxiety in his throat. “That sounds like a good idea. Where should we gather the group?”

“Hm…The cruise ship has a dining area. We can use that.” Mikado then gestured with his hand to follow him. He did since he didn’t have a better plan than this. He glanced at the water as it ascended and descended across the sand and he can’t help but wonder where in the world he could be. The lack of memories only made him even more nervous. There was a sign nearby that gave him the name of the island though: Utsuroshima, The Isle of Nowhere.

He feels a sense of deja vu settle onto his shoulders, but it was accompanied with a feeling of dread. Why, he didn’t know. But he kept his guard up as he followed Mikado to the ship.

Which was absolutely huge.

The ship was docked along the shore, painted in a bizarre way that somehow reminded him of a bird, albeit one that was half white and half black. Words were painted on the side of the ship and it read out “Monocruise.” He still felt very uneasy at what’s going on, but it didn’t change how magnificent it all looked.

“Whoa…” He said, gaping at the sight. Mikado chuckled at his reaction and walked up to the bridge. Up ahead was someone with ginger hair in a brown and gray school uniform, seemingly staring at the door with their hand against it. He tilts his head at the sight, wondering why that person was simply standing on the bridge and not going inside. He quickly matched his pace with Mikado and called out. “Hey, aren’t you going to head inside?” The person jolted at the sound of his voice and turned around-

Messy hair and bored eyes stared down at him as he spoke words that filled him with a crushing sense of despair. He could only stand there and stare back, unable to come up with a rebuttal as he smiled almost in satisfaction.

Cruel, despairing satisfaction.

And he felt like his entire world was uprooted with that single betrayal.

“-are you okay? Hey!” A voice, light but masculine reached his ears and it sounded more like concern than cruelty. He blinked his eyes, ignoring the way the sweat rolled down his forehead and the pit in his stomach growing ever more. The young man before, who couldn’t be older than a freshman in high school, had hair that was far neater with the way it curled and wore a simple brown blazer, red tie, white button-up with a tan vest, gray pants and brown slip-on shoes. And yet, everything about him just felt off, like a bunch of red flags had been thrown in the air yelling ‘don’t trust him, don’t trust him, don’t trust him.’

“Sir? Please answer the question. You look pale.” Mikado stepped into his view but didn’t get any closer to him, as if he was giving him space. It was only then that he realized his mouth was hanging wide open and he snapped it shut. He gulps.

“S-Sorry, I, uh…” He struggled to form words. He wanted to be honest and tell them how he really feels, but everything in his mind was telling him to keep his distrust a secret. That this is someone he couldn’t trust with himself. But…still. He had to ask. “Have we…have we met before?”

“Er…no. I’m sorry, I don’t think we have.” The young man looked him up and down for good measure before awkwardly smiling. “I mean, I feel like I’d recognize you by how you dress alone.”

“Yes, you certainly stand out with that hair and garish rainbow on your jacket.” Mikado said as blunt as a brick and he gasped. But he didn’t feel offended. If anything, he felt like he was taking it in stride, like this is a pretty normal response.

“Hey, I think I look pretty great!” He puts his hands on his hips with a pout. The young man smiled a little.

“I mean, it’s not a bad look, but you certainly stand out. Ah!” The young man scratches his cheek. “Sorry for the late introduction. I’m Yuki Maeda, this year’s Ultimate Lucky Student.” He instinctively cringed at the name, clearly ringing a bell but once again, any sort of memory he tries to reach out for slips through his fingers like sand. Yuki blinked his eyes but seemed to have dropped it for the moment.

…Hold on a minute.

“‘This year’s ‘Ultimate Lucky Student?’ What does that mean…?” He asked, his confusion clearly written on his face. Yuki’s eyes go wide in surprise while Mikado’s expression flattens as if he had just come to a realization.

“Y-You don’t know? Hope’s Peak Academy is famous around the country!” Yuki exclaimed, raising his hands. He felt a jab of shame at not knowing even common knowledge like this. Although it did sound familiar…and yet he felt a mixture of fondness and detest. He felt like a confused, floundering mess.

“Perhaps I should have mentioned this sooner. Our fellow student currently has amnesia. He doesn’t even know his own name.” Mikado spoke up, his mask shifting to one of sympathy, his eyes downturned and his mouth shifting into a squiggly frown. He lifted his hand up to press his fingers against his mask. Yuki, on the other hand, looked a lot more embarrassed.

“O-Oh! I’m sorry, I, uh, didn’t know.” He just sighed and slumped his shoulders with a nod. As much as he didn’t want to admit it upfront, he knew it was inevitable if he can’t even introduce himself. Yuki just tried to smile awkwardly. “Would you like it if I told you more?”

“Uh, yeah, that would be helpful. Thanks, Yuki.” He tried to give him his best smile but it didn’t shake off the anxiety that clung to him.

“Well, Hope’s Peak Academy is a world-famous school that has produced many famous and talented people in its long history. A school that only the best, most talented students get to attend. It isn’t an exaggeration to call it the ‘School of Hope.’” Yuki starts his explanation, and the more he talks, the more familiar this school sounds. Mikado formed a few tiny shards of ice, spinning them around to keep himself occupied. “There are two conditions to enter the school: one, you must be in high school. Two, you must be the best at your given talent. Only students who have been scouted to come to the school can attend…” He pauses before frowning. “And today was the first day of school.”

“That’s today?” He asked, blinking his eyes in surprise. He didn’t know the date, but if what Yuki’s said was true, then they should all be in school, right?

So…why were they here instead?

“Yeah, heh…” Yuki scratched his cheek, sweating a little. “Well, except for me. I just won a lottery.”

“Oh, lucky you.” The tease came to him without a second. Mikado snorts while Yuki blinks before grinning a little bit wider. It was then that the wizard let the ice fall into his hand before crushing it into dust.

“Now that you’re caught up to speed on Hope’s Peak Academy and what Ultimates are…Mr. Maeda, I am Mikado Sannoji, the Ultimate Wizard!!” Mikado exclaimed with dramatic flair and an excited expression, suddenly tossing up dust of ice into the air and–

Bang! Bang! Bang!

He and Yuki jumped at the sounds but the brief flashes of light and fire quickly soothed and delighted both of them. It almost looked like…fireworks?

Yeah, fireworks.

It was only a brief moment but it was a wonderful sight and drove home what Mikado’s Ultimate Talent was in just a few seconds.

“Wow, an actual Ultimate Wizard…? I didn’t even notice the ice you made.” Yuki said with wonder. Mikado just gave him a flat stare before shrugging and giving him a bow anyway. He then looked at him and he suddenly felt subconscious. “So, uh…what should I call you, mister…?”

“Uh, first of all, don’t call me mister. It makes me feel old.” He scratches the back of his neck. He knows he’s pretty tall but he didn’t look much older than Yuki. Or even Mikado, if he could see his face. “And secondly, um…I’d…like to come up with a name on my own. Okay?”

“Oh, okay! If you say so.” Yuki dropped his hand and started to mutter to himself. “Although I’ll have to figure out what to call you until then…”

“Moving on…What were you doing out in front of the Monocruise? You looked confused.” Mikado moved the subject onto something new. Yuki blinked his eyes before realizing what he meant.

“Oh, well…I tried to enter the Monocruise but…it seems to be locked?” The eyes of Mikado’s mask go wide.

“Locked?” As if to test the door himself, Mikado walked up and tried it. Only to get resistance as the sounds of the door jamming greets their ears. “Ah…a shame. So much for using the dining room to gather everyone in one spot.”

“Can’t you use your magic to get in?” He asked. He wouldn’t be surprised if Mikado could do that. Magic can do anything, right?

“Well, I can.” Mikado admits without a second thought, turning around with a shrug. His expression flattens. “But the mode of transportation I can use is only made for one person. If I tried to bring one of you with me, well…” His mask morphs into a sinister grin with sharp teeth. “You might lose a limb or two.”

“Uhhh, okay then. Good to know.” He said agape, sweat rolling down his forehead. Yuki looked similarly disturbed.

And then Mikado laughed, raising his hands up with his mask forming into his energetic smile.

“Just joking! Mostly. To be frank with you, I’ve never brought anyone with me when I teleport, so I have no idea if it’ll be safe for you.” Mikado’s mask softened into his regular, wide smile. The brief horror he felt quickly morphed into exasperation. Yuki tugged on his tie, looking like he couldn’t come up with anything to say to that. “...Wow, tough crowd. No matter. Do you have an idea of where we could gather everyone, Mr. Maeda?”

“Ah…Hmm…” Yuki raised a fist to his chin in thought. “How about the beach? There’s enough space here for…sixteen people and it’s not that far from the Monocruise.”

“Ah, the beach…the one I found our classmate here…That will do, thank you. Shall we leave you to your investigation and gather everyone in, say, two hours or so?” Mikado asked. Yuki was already nodding his head.

“I, uh, think that sounds good. I don’t have a watch though…” Yuki glanced at his wrist. He blinked, wondering why he would stare at it before looking down and remembering that, oh yeah, he was wearing a watch.

“Uh, sorry.” He smiles a bit awkwardly. “This is mine.”

“...I guess I’ll just guess the time with the sun’s location??” Yuki looked up at the sky, squinting his eyes. Mikado chuckled before turning on his heel and walking down the bridge.

“Come along, sir. I can see another classmate of ours from here.” Mikado said and he quickly followed after him once he said a quick goodbye to Yuki. Hopefully this classmate won’t give him a heart attack just by existing.

Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case as the man on the beach didn’t give him any sense of familiarity at all. But he definitely didn’t look like a student at just a glance. He had messy, wavy hair that was graying, tired gray eyes that looked a bit annoyed and a suit that looked very lazily put together. In fact, the white jacket wasn’t buttoned up at all, his black button-up had a few buttons unbuttoned down to his sternum, and a red tie that was so loose that he had to stuff it into his pocket. His white pants were rolled up, revealing hairy legs and was wearing black and white sandals instead of regular shoes. He seemed to be muttering something under his breath, thinking to himself underneath the palm tree. Mikado didn’t hesitate to walk up to him while he was a bit more nervous.

“Greeting and salutations! I am Mikado Sannoji, the Ultimate Wizard! And this is our fellow classmate.” Mikado said, gesturing to him as he spoke. He gives the man a friendly smile.

“Hi, uh…I’m kinda dealing with amnesia right now, so I can’t give you a name until I remember or come up with something.” He explains his current condition with as much nonchalance he could muster. The student, who is probably older than him, didn’t seem to have paid much attention to them. But he did stop muttering, so he must have heard them even as he continued to stare off to the side. They both waited, their stares drilling holes into him before his gaze finally snapped to them.

“What.” He said, clearly annoyed and having shoved his hands into his pockets. He felt a bit embarrassed, feeling like he was bothering his fellow classmate before him. Mikado, however, was nonplussed.

“You’re a fellow Hope’s Peak student, correct? We’re just-” The wizard gets cut off.

“I don’t know any of that crap.” He rolls his eyes, staring off into the sky as if it was way more interesting than the actual wizard and his fellow amnesiac classmate.

“...Really, now. Cause if you’re not from Hope’s Peak…” Mikado’s mask darkens. “Then that means that you may know why we’re here?”

“Huh??” He felt his anxiety spike up again and instinctively took a step back. The older person, however, snapped his gaze back to Mikado and glared at him.

“The hell are you talking about? I have nothing to do with this.” He points to the side of his head. “Here I was, thinking I could live a relaxing island life by myself…but it looks like I’m not alone. And I’m being accused of kidnapping a bunch of students that I really don’t give a damn about.”

“Oh, pardon me, then! You were clearly doing nothing of importance that I thought you were a classmate. Or even the foolish sap that thought it was a good idea to kidnap someone like me.” Mikado huffed with a haughtiness of someone who enjoyed being in control. Looks like he wasn’t very happy when the man put up resistance for a simple conversation. “If you’re just as stuck as the rest of us, a little bit of cooperation would be much more convenient for all, wouldn’t it?”

“And what do I get out of it if I tell you?” The man stuck his finger in his ear, and Mikado cringed at the sight. But his own reaction was different with his jaw hanging wide open.

This guy can’t be serious, can he?

“Wh-What does that mean? Shouldn’t we investigate together?” He spoke up, trying to get at least a little bit of helpfulness from him. But the man just shrugged his shoulders with a smarmy grin.

“Ehh, I don’t have a clue anyway.” The comment only accentuated his own bafflement. He didn’t think someone could be so rude in just a few seconds!

“Well, I never…! No matter your reason, you could at least give a name. Unlike my classmate here, you’re clearly not dealing with amnesia, are you?” Mikado spat it out like he was tasting something awful as he rubbed the side of his head. And he couldn't help but feel a little weird about the blatant mention of his predicament. Especially when it was used in a comparison like this. He was about to tell Mikado that much when the man turned away but kept his gaze onto him.

“Amnesia?” He asked and he looked like he was staring straight through his core. He tried not to shudder.

“Uh, yeah…I haven’t even come up with a name for myself yet…” He confirms. He can’t help but wonder if the guy had even paid any attention at all when they introduced themselves. “Uh, so, we’ve introduced ourselves to the best we could. It’d be polite if you give us your name.”

“...Hm, nah. That shit’s pointless info.” The guy rolls his eyes again before suddenly facing them with a grin. “Cough up a million and I’ll talk. Deal?”

“A million?!” Mikado exclaimed. In fact, his voice was so loud that he barely caught a glimpse of Yuki looking over at them from the beach out of the corner of his eye. Mikado raises his hands into fists and his mask shifts to one of flustered embarrassment. “Even wizards can’t create money out of thin air, you know!! And even if I could, why would I spend that much for just a name?!”

“Just a name? Damn, talk about harsh.” He cracks his neck just by tilting it before looking straight at him. He points to the side of his head again. “A person’s name is worth more than you think. Your name represents everything that you are. No point in wasting time on someone who doesn’t value that.” He then turned on his heel. “If you’re not up for that, scram.” And just like that, he walked away, leaving him with a dilemma that was growing every second.

“Hmph…Who does he think he is? I quite like my name, thank you very much.” Mikado said with a huff, crossing his arms before turning towards him. “Come on. He’ll have to give away his name at some point…”

“Did something go wrong?” He jolts and turns around to see Yuki, who had managed to sneak up to him. He gives him another smile. “Sorry, I noticed that the conversation wasn’t going well.”

“Ahem, yes, well…” Mikado trailed off, scratching the back of his head as he became even more embarrassed. “We didn’t get his name and he made a big deal about it. He even asked for money!”

“Wait…is that why you exclaimed ‘a million?!’ That’s way too much for a name!” Yuki gaped with wide eyes. He felt his mouth dry and he tugged on the scarf around his neck.

“...But he said that a name represents everything that you are.” He looked down at his feet. “And yet, I don’t even know that much.”

“Oh, dear…” Mikado’s voice softens but he doesn’t say anything else. Yuki, on the other hand, speaks up with his own thoughts.

“Um…I’m sure you’ll find out who you are eventually. Or maybe your memory will come back to you with time. Either way, a name…is something you should feel more comfortable with. Even if it isn’t your birth name, it’s something you should choose to keep.” Yuki said, awkward but comforting. The warmth in his chest felt familiar, but there was an undercurrent of unease. He was once again reminded not to trust this student beside him. But the words he said weren’t wrong. If anything, they were gentle and kind.

And he can’t help but take those words to heart.

“...Y-Yeah. Okay.” He gives Yuki a more genuine smile. “Thanks, Yuki. That makes me feel a little better.” He just needed to give himself some time. Even with their unknown situation looming over them all, it hasn’t even been a day and he’s been stressing himself out over his amnesia. Which is understandable, considering his own identity has pretty much gone ‘poof.’ Not even a wallet or an ID to give him an idea of who he is was left behind. He can’t imagine the kind of work he’ll have to go through just to get a legal confirmation of who he is and how much he’s lost in the time before and after he woke up on this island.

But, if there wasn’t anything he could do about it now, then why should he stress so much about it? At this point, he might as well be making a mountain out of an ant hill.

It didn’t mean that he didn’t want to find out who he was - who he is. But there was only so much he could do on an island in the middle of nowhere for the time being.

“Alright, where to next?” He turned to Mikado, a grin plastered on his face. The mask blinked at him before giving him his large smile.

“Well, I saw a large mart nearby during my walk. Why don’t we stop there? You probably haven’t eaten anything, have you?” Mikado said, turning on his heel to walk back the way they came. He was about to deny it but his body had the perfect timing of emanating a growl from his stomach. Yuki chuckled a little, which only made him even more embarrassed.

“I guess my next destination is the mart. I’ll see you around?” He waves and Yuki smiles and gives his own goodbye, going off to search for clues on his own.

#SDRA2 #Super Danganronpa Another 2 #Protag Teruya AU #Teruya Otori #Mikado Sannoji #Yuki Maeda #Syobai Hashimoto #Shobai Hashimoto #Sannotori but Teruya has yet to reciprocate #SDRA2 Spoilers #Terukado but Teruya has yet to reciprocate

[mychemicalrachel]

AO3 First Lines Tag Game

Hi thanks so much @singersargentboi for tagging me!! 🥰🥰

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Dizzy [Ronan/Kavinsky, Adam/Kavinsky, Ronan/Adam/Kavinsky]

The car appeared sixteen days early.

It was parked out front with an ostentatious blue bow; a blinding white Mitsubishi that looked every inch the Raven Boy that Joseph Kavinsky had never felt.

I'm Filth, I'm Dirt (I'm Yours) [Ronan/Kavinsky]

Stumbling across the picture was an accident.

Semi-Charmed Life [Ronan/Adam]

Ronan had a plan.

It wasn’t an itinerary, he told himself; it was a list of activities scrawled neatly on a sheet of lined paper, complete with the times at which each thing would most conveniently be done. A list, a plan. A schedule, maybe. Not a fucking itinerary.

Just The Way I'm Not [Ronan/Adam]

Ronan hated the subway. He hated the city and he hated the crowds within it and he hated rats and he hated public transportation. Right now, the thing he hated most was his car’s broken transmission, the catlyst which forced him to ride on the fucking crowded subway where he had to deal with both people and rats.

P(r)etty Crimes [Declan/Adam]

There were a lot of different kinds of anger. Simmering, boiling, blistering fury that festered until it had no choice but to bubble over, or the kind that struck fast and burned quick. Adam was intimately familiar with the different forms that anger could take.

My Friend From Harvard [Ronan/Adam]

Gansey loved to talk about Blue. From the moment he met her, he swore it was love at first sight– even though she called him a douchebag and flipped him off. Richard Campbell Gansey III was as stubborn as he was oblivious and a little misunderstanding wasn’t enough to deter him. Blue was, as Gansey described, the woman of his dreams; intelligent and pretty and remarkable and talented and just as stubborn as he was. Every breath not used talking about Blue was spent talking about Parrish, My Friend From Harvard.

Greatest Hits [Ronan/Adam, Ronan/Kavinsky]

Monmouth Manufacturing was never quiet. Even in the darkness that fell with the night, the walls seemed to speak, murmurs and whispers of secrets and dreams. On this particular night, they screamed.

A Series of Unfortunate Events [Adam/Kavinsky]

Henrietta didn’t have an autumn. There were the burning days of a seemingly endless summer and then, abrupt and harsh and frigid, winter fell like a bomb. Even though it was only mid-October, there was a chill in the air that crept beneath Adam’s collar no matter how tight he pulled his jacket around himself.

Not Death, But His Brother... [Ronan/Adam]

Ronan had never seen such stillness.

He was a ghost, floating along in the wind. A paper bag tugged forward by the breeze. A shell of a boy with nothing left inside.

I Know She Won't Give In (I Know That I Will) [Jordan/Declan]

His entire body ached.

It was rubber bands– strings of fate, of fortune– pulled taut, centered low in his gut and reaching out into his extremities. It was the curl in his fingers and toes, the tension held in his every muscle, quivering and quaking with anticipation.

It was a good kind of ache.

Tagging some mutuals I know have at least 10 fics! (If you wanna be tagged in future stuff, or don't want to be tagged, let me know!!) @iammistressofmyfate @your-void-senpai @kelliealtogether @zephfair @second-sister

#wow ive been writing a lot of trc stuff recently #AND THERE'S MORE TO COME 😈 #Tag game #Pynch #Rovinsky #Pynchinsky #Decladam #jordeclan #kavarrish #? #i still dont know what Adam/Kavinsky is called

[judas-is-so-so-silly]

Finally doing a proper intro post

Hi I'm Jude :)

I use He/Him pronouns

My interests include: Gravity Falls🌲, Ghost💀, Spiderman🕷, Legend of Zelda🗡, Midnight Mass✝️, Read Dead Redemption🤠 and more :)

I play a few instruments but mainly guitar and viola🎵

My inbox is always open for questions, comments, and writing requests��

Also I answer dms on here but feel free to add me on discord: midg.ie

I'm comfortable writing a wide range of things but I WILL NOT WRITE: INCEST, PEDOPHILIA, ZOOPHILIA, and other topics of that sort!!! But I will write basically anything else :p

And if you wanna know more abt me or just wanna chat my dms are open too! :)

I'm probably exchanging fantasies with @belissmatopolina, making fun of @autism-email , or talking abt mike flanagan with @vampiric-angel-kay.

I have many other mutuals who I love and adore and would kiss on the mouth. You are all amazing I love yall

Also a picrew cause @spooky-creamo-for-primo inspired me

Please Do Not Interact:

If you're under 16

Here to start arguments

Homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, etc

ED blogs

Proshippers

Empty Blogs (you will be blocked)

Please DO Interact

If we share interests

Are a writer/creative person and wanna share it

Wanna be friends

Tags: NSFW THOUGHTS: gbcgf nsfw PICTURES/VIDEOS/THOUGHTS FROM MY RITUAL: gbcgf ritual ME RANTING: gbcgf rants PRIMO SMUT: gbcgf primo smut

#gbcgf enjoyer intro post

[auteurdelabre]

A little Sun part 3.2

part one / part two / part 2.1

rating: 18+ (MINORS GET OUTTA HERE OR I'M TELLIN' YOUR MAMAS)

Story Summary: As a PA to megastar and mega man-child Dieter Bravo you've had your fair share of headaches. Getting accidentally pregnant with his baby however takes the cake, especially when he offers to pay you to be his surrogate. You just weren't expecting to fall in love with him along the way.

tags: Surrogacy, Pregnancy, Body changes re: pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Idiots in love, P in V, Dirty talk, Unprotected Sex, Romance, Oral (f receiving), Cigarettes, Drugs, Mentions of Parental Death, Vulnerable Dieter, Vulnerable Reader.

a/n: y'all I'm really annoyed because tumblr won't let me post the entire chapter in one post because of whatever reason. So if you wanna read it all in one go, I'm posting it to my A03 or just click the parts above.

dividers by @silkholland

Most days if you’re distracted you can forget that you’re pregnant altogether. That is, until Dieter comes home with a strange food from set that makes you run to the bathroom to vomit. Or when you try to fit into your favorite CCR t-shirt and break down into tears when it won’t go over your now fairly swollen belly.

Dieter is gone for the night tonight; he and Mia are at some fundraiser for one of the folks on set’s hospital bills. You know that Dieter will end up paying whatever the guy needs; it’s just in his character. He’s brash and annoying and childish, but Dieter is always the first person to pay for something.  Magda needed surgery for her cataracts and Dieter paid for everything, plus a month long vacation so she could relax.

And here you sit on your sofa because you feel like you’re carrying a watermelon strapped to your stomach and you feel like shit. The only good thing is your hair looks amazing; silky and shiny and beautiful.

You decide a bath might be just the thing to turn your mood around.

You’re just settling into the large claw foot tub, bubbles up to your collar and closing your eyes when the door bursts open.

“Hey I need advice.”

You immediately start, almost splashing half the water out of the tub in the process. You cover your breasts with your arms, shooting your uninvited guest a glare.

"Dieter I'm having a bath!"

"Nothing I haven't seen before," he says with a shrug before sitting next to the claw foot tub. He brings his knees to his chest before he crosses his ankles. "I want your advice."

"My advice is you get the fuck out of here."

"I can't see anything from here," he tells you with a pout. "But if it makes you feel better I'll turn around."

You watch him shuffle until his spine is kissing the side of the tub. You peek over to see his hands are nowhere near his cock and you relax back. 

"Better?"

"What advice do you want Dieter?" You sigh, accepting that this relaxing bath will be anything but. 

"It's Mia."

"Mhmm?"

"I...I really like her."

"She's very likable."

"She is, isn't she?" 

From where you lay all you can see is the back of Dieters head, his full locks shifting as you imagine he smiles. 

"So what do you want my advice on? If its relationship advice you're out of luck," you laugh humorlessly. "I've never had a relationship that lasted more than a year."

"Me neither," Dieter says, head tilting to the side. 

You ponder on this for a moment. How two people with such opposing walks of life could end up similarly situated in terms of romance. You know why Dieter gives people at a distance, concern that they're only after him for his money or his fame. Concerned that they're only after him for some cache at stardom. 

But in all this time, you've never taken the time to reflect on why you yourself shy from intimacy. On why school and working eat up so much of your time and your thoughts.

As you sit here now, stomach's swollen with child you're forced to accept the fact that perhaps you haven't just been shying from intimacy. You might have been running away from it full tilt. 

Will your child be like this? Have you created a life in you and capable of finding lasting connection with another human being? Have you already saddled this child with a fate of loneliness? Guilt, this terrible guilt suddenly overtakes you. 

You want to talk to Dieter about it, you want to question him and see if he has the same fears. But his thoughts are (as they so often are) frenzied and landing in an area of pleasure. His thoughts are of Mia, of her sweet face and even sweeter personality. He thinks of how she makes him feel, like he's capable of anything. 

 "I'm just.... I wonder if I should tell Mia about the baby."

You feel your heart skip in your chest and your fingers creep along the edge of the tub before curling.

"Why would you do that?"

Dieter shrugs. "Things feel like they could get serious."

"You haven't known her very long, Dieter."

"So?"

"So I think you want to play house with a girl that has stars in her eyes.”

You see his shoulders tense. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"She's a beautiful young woman at the start of her career," you sigh, popping some of the nearby bubbles. "Being attached to a single dad right now isn’t fair." 

Dieter straightens at this. Single dad. He never really thought of himself like that. The concept makes him wince. He thinks of the nights here when you're busy or sleeping. The nights when his bed feels colder. 

"I'm tired of being alone okay?"

"That's a shitty reason to do that to someone," you bite back. "Mia has her own life, her own career."

"She can still have that-"

"Not when she's playing Mrs. Bravo," you tell him, cheeks heating from the water and your irritation. "You think the media isn't going to be all over this? Hollywood’s Good Girl caught up with Hollywood’s Bad Boy? You think her career won't be in jeopardy when the tabloids find out she’s fallen into bed with her costar?"

Dieter goes quiet. You wish you could see his eyes. His eyes never lie.

"I think you're doing this because you finally realized the giant undertaking it is to be a parent,” you say softly. “I think you're hoping that somehow she'll be your partner in all of this and help ease your load. But this was your decision, not hers. You wanted to be a dad. You wanted to have this kid."

“I know I did!” Dieter snarls and now he whirls around to face you. “And I can do it by myself!”

“Then why-“

“Is it so wrong to want someone else? Someone who wants me?”

Before you can answer he’s pushed himself from beside the tub and gone from the room, slamming the door behind him. The force of it knocks one of the paintings from the wall, denting the wood frame of it.  You sigh and lean back in your tub, wishing you could understand the pit that’s begun in your stomach.

You find it impossible to fall asleep later that night, not just because of the horrible way you ended things with Dieter, but because he’s been blasting his music all fucking night from his art room.  He’s been in there since he left you in the bathroom, the scent of cigarettes and what you assume is one of his fancy whisky bottles seeping from under the door.

You eventually manage to catch a few hours of sleep but are awoken to a loud thump from the art room and Dieter’s muffled fuck this! The music is still going full tilt and this sends you into a fit of pique.

You manage to roll yourself out of bed with a huff before you march down the hallway and push into the studio, flinching when Dieter screams over the music at you before you've even made it past the threshold. 

"You're supposed to knock!"

Since when?

He looks crazed. His hair is even more wild and unruly than usual, his t-shirt is covered in paint. You glance around to see the entire room is littered with papers, charcoal, pencils, paint tubes and more. It's like an art store exploded all over the room. He's standing behind an easel, his body blocked mostly by the large canvas he’s working on.

He moves to the door, quickly ushering you backwards out of the room before you can see what he's working on that has him so upset. 

"Dieter what the hell-"

"That's my private sanctum," he tells you, pulling the cigarette from between his lips, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth as he glares at you. "You stay out."

"Sorry sorry," you say rolling your eyes at his hysterics. "I'm just trying to sleep and your music is so loud."

He blinks as if only realizing now that the sun has gone down. He scratches at his chest absently, eyes drawing to the darkened windows. 

"What time is it?"

"Three in the morning. Don't you have work in a couple of hours?"

Dieter has a faraway look to his eyes and he finally nods. "Yeah, yeah I do. I should sleep."

He makes no move to leave the doorway. You roll your eyes before holding out your hand to him. Instinctively he moves forward taking it. 

"C'mon Bravo. Let's get you to bed."

Hand in hand you make your way to the hallway, guiding him through the grainy darkness that your eyes are more adjusted too. You stop in front of his room, dropping his hand gently and turning away, ready to pad to your own bedroom down the hall. 

"Will you sleep in my bed? With me?"

You're about to laugh at him at the suggestion but when you glance over your shoulder you see his eyes are glazed. They have that little boy lost quality that peeks out every so often. When you can see past the bravado of too cool for school Dieter and see the scared boy from South America who got teased for having an earring. 

"Yeah, sure." Your eyes drop to his paint-splattered shirt. "Take off the shirt unless you want your sheets ruined." 

He strips it from him without question, watching you enter into his bedroom ahead of him. His heart pounds painfully as he watches you slip under the covers as if you've always belonged there. 

He clamors in, trying not to stare at the soft mounds of your breasts underneath your sleep shirt. Before his courage leaves him he tilts forward onto his palms towards you. He sweeps a kiss across your brow bone before retreating back to his side of the large mattress.

He rolls facing away from you, thankful that you're here with him in his bed. He feels so much calmer with you here near him.

He doesn't want to crowd you and he knows if he sleeps facing you he'll be unable to keep his hands to himself. Every day you look more and more pregnant and it makes him want you so badly his stomach aches. 

He thinks of earlier, and the way you’d called him out on his every insecurity. Sometimes he hates that you know him so well. Most days though, it warms him from the inside out to be so known and seen.

“I’m sorry I yelled before.”

He's shocked when he feels your body press up against his back, your belly pressing tightly against his spine. When your arm slings itself over his waist he has to swallow the unexpected tears. And then he feels it, the soft whisper of your lips against his shoulder. 

"I know. Go to sleep, Dee."

The weather is unusually warm when you wake up the day of your ultrasound. Dieter has been bouncing off the walls all week, desperate to "see his child". He wanted to do a 3D ultrasound but you begged him to just stick with the normal kind.

Because the truth is you're sort of terrified to see the kid. 

A lot of your time is spent trying to forget that you're pregnant, despite the evidence that makes you take out the waistband of your favorite sweatpants. The thought of seeing him or her in 3D freaks you the fuck out. You don't want to know exactly what's growing in there. 

Dieter fights every instinct in his body to take your hand as the two of you pull up to the private clinic. You’re taken to a large exam room filled with sterile equipment and plus seats. You’re instructed to lay back on a chaise that probably costs more than your first apartment.

Dieter looks down at you looking so frightened and feels a pang of care go through him. He sees you absently stroking at your stomach and feels such affection for you in that moment it takes everything in him not to kiss you.

“Can you pass me my bag?”

Dieter nods, handing you the purse on the chair.  He watches panic cross your features as you dig around in your ridiculously oversized purse. He’s about to ask you what’s going on when a serious looking woman with white-blonde hair enters the room.

“Bravo family?”

“Yes,” Dieter replies before you can explain that you’re not a family. That you’re just a surrogate. But you’re still digging around in your bag growing increasingly stressed by the moment.

"Fuck I forgot my headphones, did you bring yours?"

"No." Dieter is distracted by the implements this woman is pulling out. He's eager to see his child. He takes the purse from you, placing it back on the seat and out of your reach. You fix him with a desperate look.

“Dieter I need-“

“I’m pushing the shirt up,” the woman orders.

Your shirt is tugged up officiously, exposing the round swell of your stomach. Dieter is fucking feral for it, his eyes raking in the naked flesh with a mixture of desire and a pride that nearly buckles him.

This woman isn't patient like Judy was back in the states. She doesn't wear a name tag. She doesn’t care about you being comfortable or wearing headphones. She's just squeezes the jelly as you and Dieter bicker about the headphones and the wand is quickly pressed against your belly.

You make sure your head is tilted as far from the screen as possible, not wanting to see anything. You still want to pretend that there’s nothing in there. That you’re a rented womb. That this thing growing inside you has nothing to do with you.

"Do you want to know the sex today?"

"Yes," Dieter nods and you wish more than anything that you hadn't forgotten your headphones. Learning this will make it more real, more tangible. Then he looks down at you, eyes soft. “Is that okay?”

You consider plugging your ears with your fingers but it won't do any good. Dieter won't be able to stop talking about it until you give birth. For a moment the severe woman pauses, cocking a brow in your direction before you finally give her a short nod. She looks back to the ultrasound, confirming before telling you both.

"It's a boy."

Dieter is sure he can feel his heart overflowing. He's going to have a son. This will be the only performance he cares about: that of good father. Without thinking he clutches your hand in his, overcome.

You go to pull back, to pull away and then you hear it. This steady, soft thudding that makes you pause. A strange hypnotic sound as ancient as time itself.

Your son's heartbeat.

Dieter watches the way you slowly blink. Your head which is always tilted away from the monitor now slowly drags to look over at it.

Your eyes are wide, and your body tenses as this being, this life becomes real to you. He’s right there. As you see his coiled, sleeping frame in the monitor and know that this life is inside you now. That you are his home, his protector, his love.

"Hi," you whisper to the tiny being on the screen. "Hi little boy."

That's your son onscreen. You made that child together with the man clutching your hand.

You made this. You made life.

It's so real. He's there, this child you thought of as a commodity, as something you were merely the vessel for. How could you have been arrogant enough to think you wouldn't grow attached? How could your hubris have convinced you that you could separate yourself emotionally?

That’s him. He’s right there. You look at your stomach, amazed that while you were busy pretending he didn’t exist, he was there growing so close to your heart. He was there sleeping and eating and living. Tears dot your lash line and you turn to Dieter, his face so close to yours. You see the tears glossy in his eyes. Affection deep and abiding fills you and you can't stop yourself from pressing your lips against his. He’s immediately receptive, his hand going to your cheek.

The previously stern nurse smiles softly before excusing herself to get a copy of your ultrasound.

At the sound of the door closing behind her it’s like you both remember who you are – boss and employee. Surrogate. You’re being paid for this. His eyes go wide as you abruptly pull back, realizing too late that you've stepped over the line.

"I'm sorry," you breathe. "That was-"

"It's okay," Dieter says warmly. "It's emotional."

A short while later you're still mortified about what just happened inside. Dieter is uncharacteristically quiet as you both hear towards the towncar. The day is beautiful, sunny and its like the world just got brighter because of what you’ve just learned.

"I can't... I can't believe," you say softly, your mind still back in that room.

"I know," Dieter says, smile wide. "Fucking unbelievable. I'm gonna have a son."

I'm. Not we.

"Yeah, you are."

You walk slowly back to the car, taking your time to bask in the warmth of the day. He longs to take your hand in his but he knows that’s not what you want.

The kiss inside hadn’t been romantic. It had been emotional, the result of sharing something few would. You created life, even if you weren’t together you were forever tied to this tiny being within you.

He can see your eyes are distant, unfocused. He has a pretty good idea about what.

"Got regrets?"

"What? About giving away the... Bubble? No." You shake your head forcing a laugh. "Never wanted kids."

"Yeah you've said that a few times," Dieter observes, eyes stuck on you. He carries his coffee cup loosely in his fingers as you stroll towards the car. "But I mean, people can change."

"Not about this," you tell him. The tone is frosty, but you're holding your mouth in that way he recognizes now. The same look you had that first night in Ireland when you talked about your dad. You're trying not to cry.

Dieter feels his chest constrict.

"Listen, yes I'll have sole custody. But if you wanted photos and shit? I'd understand. It could be like the app. I'd send you updates. Photos, videos anytime you want. I know you’ll be busy with school, but maybe I could bring him up for visits if you feel like it?"

Your heart leaps at the thought.

Yes.

But that's what you say to a hormonal woman, you reason. You tell her what she wants to hear. Not what's practical. Dieter is going to be a father to this child and if he has it his way, Mia will probably be sticking around to be the mom. You’ll be a third wheel, a confusion for your child.

"That's not necessary," you say with a shrug. "This is just all hormones. I'll be f-"

You break off with a gasp, your hand balancing against the towncar for purchase.

"What?" Dieter looks terrified.

"I... I think he just kicked!"

Before Dieter can stop himself his wide hand is over your hand on your belly, cradling it. You both wait a moment and then yes, Dieter feels it, a tiny flutter against his palm. His eyes fill with tears.

"Holy shit!" You both exclaim in unison.

Then you both giggle like schoolchildren that have just learned a new swear world. A breathless giddy laughter that seems to go on forever. You let Dieter keep his hand on your belly, the other over his mouth in disbelief.

"Thank you for doing this," Dieter finally offers thickly, staring at you in a way that warms you from the inside.  "You're changing my life. I feel like the money isn't enough."

"Just don't name him Lemon-Pillow Bravo and we'll be square," you say with a laugh that he returns, eyes crinkling in the corners. He stares at you, looking at the softness in your face pregnancy has brought, the sweet way you’re smiling at him. The position your hand is in resting gently over his on your belly.

Dieter can’t help himself, his head tilts towards yours precisely the same time yours moves towards his. His mouth finds yours, kissing you softly as he cradles your pregnant belly. Your hand goes to the back of his neck, holding him loosely there as you kiss him back, eyes shut, tongues dabbing gently.   The cameras catch it all.

#pedro pascal dieter #dieter bravo smut #dieter x reader #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfiction #pedro pascal #smut #dieter bravo x reader #the bubble fanfiction #dieter bravo fic

[peppy-jester]

NAME: Beanie, irl name Sari so I'm fine which ever you wanna use.

PRONOUNS: I'm fine with any, don't worry : )

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Tumblr IMS and Discord, which is open for mutuals~

NAME OF MUSE(S): Fizzarolli

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS)?: In general about 20 years, started when was 13, but here +10 years with different fandoms.

BEST EXPERIENCE: Learning to English! Just saying it's not my native language and by interacting with people, reading stuff have made me learn things or two. And of course making friends along the way~

RP PET PEEVES / DEAL-BREAKERS: Force shipping, vaguing about people, talking shit etc. Rushing me with replies.

MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: All! All is good! But smut is more with people I'm comfortable writing it with.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Both! Both is good! I love plotting stuff, sharing headcanons and base rp's on those, but meme's are more then welcome to write more freely.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Both! Both is good-... Okay I'll stop, haha. But in all seriousness, I love writing longer replies, but I'm fine with short ones but please give the other mun to something to work with. I'll drop threads with a snap of my fingers if I am the only one who makes the story go somewhere.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Whenever I am in a mood, usually evening and/or night time. Best ideas comes then~

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): In a way yeah. I put a little swing on my muse based on some stuff I like. Music taste for example

Tagged by: @e-m-p-error and @sssardonian-ssserpent (tank you both) Tagging: @ladiesofhell @hellsmayflower @autarchi0s @goetiia @bang-bang-blitzo and you all who dares to read this : )

#About Mun

[onpyre]

tagged by @palominojacoby <3 to share 10 comfort movies (in no particular order)

harold and maude (1971), hal ashby

young frankenstein (1974), mel brooks

grosse pointe blank (1997), george armitage

jacob’s ladder (1990), adrian lyne

mikey and nicky (1976), elaine may

practical magic (1998), griffin dunne

tombstone (1993), george p. comsatos

good will hunting (1997), gus van sant

romeo + juliet (1996), baz luhrmann

hanna (2011), joe wright

tagging if you wanna share: @psychodelicategirl, @deadendtracks, @powerfulman, @cinemapphic, @calvinandhobbes, @halahmp3, @cosmicblame, @asordidbarwere, @aquiilegia, @sainteverge, @notesonvamp, @tonysopranosfeverdreams, @rocket2017, @freddiekugel, @fridgebride, @freshfigs, @pheygele, @pray1ngmantis, (honestly if we’re mutuals assume i tagged you cuz i wanna knowww)

#wooow all of these but one (1) being from the 90s and 70s… #:•) #tag meme #film

[cryptidhusband]

HOWDY and welcome to my self ship blog!! Here I collect spouses like Pokemon and have fun. Enjoy your stay!

My main blog is @r3d4rmy and is where i interact and follow from. Majority of my content is self ship related with the occasional random babbling from me. I like to post a lot of art as self ship art is one of my highest comforts in life. :] I reblog content of my F/Os over on my main blog and both this and main should follow the same tagging system. I'm also multi-fandom who fixates rapidly.

I no longer have a DNI, I'll block where I see fit but reading the BYI would be cool!

Art tag; 🎨j's art

F/O list

Updated as of 4/29/24

Blog Specific;

I love receiving asks and DMs and making friends! Never be afraid to reach out and talk. Just be patient with me as I have very bad social anxiety and might need a minute to hype myself up to reply.

On another note, I may follow and only ever interact via likes and reblogs. Thanks to my anxiety I tend to not interact first with someone ever.

I have a lot of F/Os and not all of them are listed. If you wanna follow but are unsure if we share an F/O just reach out and I'll let you know. If we do share and you're uncomfy with that I can give you a tag to block!

I am more the okay with sharing F/Os! I even urge you to interact if we so share and you're comfortable with that.

I have been self shipping since I was a kid but only really got into it in 2020. My first official F/O is Tord from Eddsworld. We've been together for 8 years!

This blog was started 11/5/22!

●———————————————◦◉◦————————————————●

About Me;

My Name is Jordan and I use He/Him.

I'm an adult; currently 25.

I'm a gemini, an ENFP, and an 9w8.

I'm a transmasc polygenderflux omnigay guy on the aroace spectrum. (Ask about my labels if they don't make sense pls!)

I am neurodivergent: AuDHD, Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety, and MADD.

I have so so many interests and bounce around them frequently but I got a few solid ones that stick around. I don't talk about all of them especially if I'm not fixated on it so feel free to ask me about something.

Or even introduce me to something new! I love exploring new stuff.

Interests;

Baldur's Gate 3

Call of Duty

Dead by Daylight

Eddsworld

Five Nights at Freddy's

Fortnite (Dippin' my toes in)

Friday Night Funkin (Plus Mods)

A lot more

●———————————————◦◉◦————————————————●

BYI;

Please note that I am uncomfortable becoming friends or mutuals with minors. We can interact with each other if we need to but I tend to avoid blogs run by minors.

If you really want to be mutuals or even friends with me you're gonna have to reach out first because I will either not catch on or I will be so riddled with anxiety that I can't reach out first.

I am critical when necessary but I do not control what my brain decides to fixate on.

I won't stand to listen to hate of things I like.

I don't support vivzie.

I support all good faith IDs.

I use to block button to cultivate my internet experience and you should too.

Will be updated as seen fit.

Thank you for reading!! I love you!!! /p

#about me #abt me #self ship

[sunnysssol]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by three different people AHWJFIDJ @gremlins-hotel , @fumblingmusings and @modernday-jay !!! Thank you guys for the tag! 💖 Sorry it took me a while to get to it 😭 depression on top of hell week is a different kind of beast. Anyway! Onwards!!

What book are you currently reading?

☆ I haven't read much books at all this year, but I really wanna pick up Dune again! I got halfway through Dune Messiah in 2020 and it's been forever 😭 My reading list is ever expanding, I just really need to find time and motivation 🥲

What’s your favorite movie that you saw in theatres this year?

☆ I have not gone to the theaters at all this year! I've been out and about but yeah. All the movies I watched this year were watched from the comfort of my own bedroom. But as for my favorite movie this year, it's either "Pearl" by Ti West or "Everything, Everywhere, All At Once" by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert. I liked Pearl better than X just because... Idk, I think I was more disturbed by the emotional drama than the actual story LOL and as for EEAAO, that one is a classic I feel like I've seen at least five mutuals rave about it JDJCJ and it's well deserved! I wanted to watch it with family but I kept chickening out– it hits a little too close to home I think 🥲 then there's Incantation too, that movie had some really unsettling imagery and I got really invested into the story of the main character trying her absolute hardest to save her daughter against the powers of a hostile otherworldly being. It's really neat!

What do you usually wear?

☆ I live in a tropical country, so it's the shirt-shorts-flip flops combo usually LOL although once in a while I'll switch it up and wear pajama pants :p

How tall are you?

☆ I'm 5'3", or 160 cm !!!

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

☆ Cancer! Not sure about any celebrities, but I do share my birthday with the debut of the Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit in 1989 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and I thought that was cool LOL

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

☆ I go by Sol, which is more of a pseudonym than a nickname. But I also use Marie, which *is* a shorter version of my real name and also, I have used "Peppa" very recently because my profile pictures when I was in the middle of my "join as many discord servers as possible" phase was Peppa Pig and it stuck 😭

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

☆ Not yet, but i'm getting there! Getting that education and whatnot 🤓

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

☆ I am deeply in love with one Alfred F. Jones ☝

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

☆ I'm good at everything but also bad at everything 💖 I hope that helps!

Dogs or cats?

☆ I can't choose 😭 they are both so important to me actually

What’s something you would like to create content for?

☆ (VIBRATES WITH BARELY CONTAINED EXCITEMENT AND CREATES A LOW HUMMING SOUND) uh yknow. stuff

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

☆ The Walking Dead!!! But also, perhaps cartoons because I've been watching Adventure Time and Bluey 🗿

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

☆ Not to be a downer but this year as a whole sucked LOL some significant highlights in the lows of course (e.g. meeting my besties, getting back into an old beloved fandom, etc), but I just really thought things would be different by now. Guess not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

☆ All talents are hidden if you're anxious enough 😏 (it's lying. for some reason people always believe me 😭 I only use it for stupid shit too so HEJFJD)

Are you religious?

☆ Religion interests me, if not for the historical and cultural impact then maybe for the art that is created because of it! My religious background is Roman Catholicism, born and raised and all that, but my family stopped going to church a while back and we haven't gone back since unless it was for a wedding or a baptism. Do I believe in the Christian God? Not really... I do believe there is a higher power out there, if that makes sense. I just don't subscribe to the ideas of any religion. I guess this makes me agnostic.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

☆ 600 million dollars in my bank account 💅

Tagging @myrddin-wylt , @daisy-dumpling , @majormeilani , @j0succ and whoever else wants to do it!! 💖 and if I tagged you there's no pressure to do this !! Jdjfjfjf 💖💖💖

#sol's musings