#(despite knowing we still have a long way to go in terms of inclusivity as a whole organisation but im hopeful to make changes with that) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

20dollarlolita · 10 months

Text

Once upon a time, in Rufflechat, someone asked a pretty common and boring question. The question was if you could wear ballet flats in lolita fashion. This is a very common question and the thread normally would have a very low comment count. However, something different happened on this one.

Someone that I have always remembered as the Ballet Flat Spammer got involved. Everyone who did not have 100% support of ballet flats, in all situations, was responded to with the same copy-and-pasted comment, accusing that commenter of ableism.

Since there are many people who are disabled in the lolita community, this was met with responses such as, "I'm disabled, need to wear specific shoes because of my disability. Ballet flats are not the right choice for me for many coordinates. There are better lolita options than ballet flats, which can still fill the physical capabilities that ballet flats offer." The Ballet Flat Spammer, however, persisted.

And I watched some people who are not disabled (not yet disabled) have a very bad take on the whole situation. However, they also did not seem to know that this was a very bad take. The take was, generally, "it's okay to wear ballet flats, if you're disabled."

Over eleven years ago, I was diagnosed with pretty severe bipolar disorder. The medications that I'm on to control that have always had an impact on my body. While I quickly came to terms with this, and eventually got okay with the idea of having a psychiatric disability, I always considered my body to be mostly healthy. Over the past two years, however, I've had to reconsider that state several times. I've had to go from "Injured, but will heal," to "inoperable, but will be able to have a normal life," to "physically disabled, maybe one day won't be, maybe." Changing this part of how I think about myself has been more difficult than any of the actual pain and loss of ability that I've experienced.

Everyone's ability level is different. I can't speak for everyone, and I can't even begin to. But being able to say this about myself has really solidified something in my head that I had been thinking for a long time.

One of those things is that, "ballet flats are okay, but only if you need them for a disability," is absolutely ableist as fuck. It may not feel that way. After all, you're including the disabled people. You're making this more inclusive, right?

Here's where the problem sits: people who are disabled do not need people who are not disabled to make rules that apply only to disabled people. What disabled people need is for people who are not disabled to listen to disabled people when they say what they need.

Fashion and comfort have always had a complicated relationship. This relationship affects everyone, regardless of ability level. This goes back as far as fashion has existed. Every single person has a time where they say, "this is less comfortable, and I will still wear it," and times when they say, "this is too uncomfortable for me to wear." Many abled people make this decision based on what comfort level they want to feel, while many disabled people have to make this decision based on what they physically, mentally, or psychiatrically are capable of. Abled people often say they won't wear something in a certain situation, where disabled people often find that they can't wear it (possibly in any situation).

The problem is when we have to start making rules about the fashion that impact other people. And, with a fashion that is as rule-driven as lolita fashion, this does have to happen sometimes. We sometimes make rules that not everyone is comfortable with, and we sometimes make rules that not everyone can reach. Lolita fashion has never been the most affordable fashion (despite my best efforts), and it's never been the most comfortable fashion.

But here's the thing: disabled people who are involved in lolita fashion are people who want to wear lolita fashion. Someone who is in the body that is disabled is much more aware of what they want and what they need than anyone else can ever be. And they know what they need, and what they're able to do.

And this means that many disabled people will find creative ways to solve their problems and accommodate their disabilities. A lot of people who are disabled will come up with ways to make lolita fashion comfortable and safe that abled people could never come up with.

If you look at people on Closet of Frills or another coordinate-posting site, you're going to find many more "I love how you incorporated your cane/walker/braces/crutches/any other visible disability aid into your coordinate," than you'll find, "sorry but your coord is ruined by showing your disability." When you let disabled people incorporate, or hide, their disability, they're going to do it much more effectively than any person without that disability will be able to.

And that means that, "I wear ballet flats with this coord, because I'm disabled and need to," and "wearing ballet flats is okay if you're disabled," both demonstrate the same physical effect on the coordinate, but are so massively different in what they're actually saying about inclusion and ability.

Also, when you listen to people who are disabled, you often find solutions to problems that you have. Someone who can't wear heels finding cool lolita-usable shoes without heels will help you if you just find heels uncomfortable. You can learn from us. You can find that people who must solve a problem can have better solutions than people who kind of would like to solve the problem.

And for what it's worth, people who need to accommodate comfort or safety in their coords are not required to tell anyone that they're disabled, or about the accommodations that they have to make for that disability. Some people share it, and some people don't. If you want to be inclusive, one thing you can do is to provide concrit (when asked) as if you're critiquing someone who isn't visibly disabled. This gets back to the concept of letting disabled people tell you how to address their disability, instead of making assumptions about what they want. You can provide concrit on an outfit, instead of just commenting on the wearer's wheelchair. If someone says that they don't want concrit on an element of the coord, don't concrit it, even if you really like it or feel like it takes away from the look. This is a thing to respect even if you can't tell if a person is disabled or not.

So, when someone says, "I did this in my coord, to accommodate my disability," listen and learn from it. In all aspects of your life, supporting someone by listening to what they say they need provides more support than assuming that someone needs something. Respect that not everyone has the energy to hold your hand and guide you through every step, so you can use research and past judgement to help you be accommodating without needing a constant feedback from that person. Just be ready to change what you're doing based on what you've been told.

That was a really long way to say that it's ableist for a not disabled person to say that ballet flats are okay in lolita for the disabled to wear, but not ableist to respect a disabled person accommodating their disability by wearing ballet flats.

#to everyone who isn't (yet) disabled reading this:#be aware that most disabled people might have a preference for one or the other #ask someone if you're not sure #and accept that if you're corrected that you can take the correction without complaining or fighting #also pretyt much anyone can become disabled at any time so maybe care more about disability rights #egl #disability in egl #20dollarlolita pep talks

92 notes · View notes

everything-is-crab · 11 months

Text

First of all I am sick of people appropriating AAVE, especially in an insulting way.

2) So these people have a problem when generally others find it tedious to use long or ludicrous terms (example- uterus owners, people with estrogen based endocrine system) instead of simply "women" to describe something only the female sex experiences in a patriarchal system.

But now it's "transparently transphobic" to even categorize social experiences by sex (idc if you believe sex is biologically immutable or just a social construct but if you believe there's no sexual inequality on basis of sex then you're just unbelievably stupid).

If you go through the notes you will see the brain rot there.

What actually pisses me off about this tho, and why I felt like ranting about it here, is that these people tokenize third gender culture and feminism of brown women ALL THE TIME.

(Despite them certainly knowing hijras are exclusively males and there is a history of the patriarchy's role in creating some of them but they somehow see it as gender liberation.)

If they actually found out how "afab" people (LBT- Lesbians, Bisexual women and Trans men) from our country's LGBT community form organizations only for those who are female because we recognize misogyny is sex based and how "amab" people hold more privilege, they will freak out.

They will freak out when they find out we recognize homophobia is sex based oppression too. Our laws literally specify people of same sex cannot marry regardless of gender identity, meaning a trans woman cannot marry a cis man and same for trans men and cis women unless said trans people undergo complete SRS. And the ability to pay for it is a privilege only middle and upper class same sex attracted people who haven't been shun out by their families enjoy.

It is literally necessary for us to organize on the basis of sex to get our rights.

Despite all this fucking bullshit, we're being asked to focus more on trans people than on "love is love". That India's LGBT activism is not trans inclusive enough (I hate these stupid white bootlicking libfems sm) because our activism doesn't look like the West's.

Ik op is not Indian but the amount of both Indian liberals who fall for this bs....although Indian radfems are not less guilty of indulging in bootlicking white people and Western activism, both responding in bad faith to each other while knowing absolutely NOTHING about their own country's history and activism regarding gender and sexuality. My views are still very different even according to Indian LGBT activists' beliefs, and yet I have more respect for them instead of fuckers like you who think online content creation is fighting for "queer rights".

Like girl, our activists were fighting even during a time when terms like "lesbian", "bisexual", "queer" etc were not known and used here. Ik for a fact you were introduced to gay and trans activism via Western media but I swear we have our own history and community and you do NOT need to nod your head to whatever these idiots say.

How can you believe this bullshit despite coming from a country where female infanticide occurs because daughters are seen as a "burden" to their fathers?

Postmodernism along with US cultural imperialism is a fucking disaster.

#I have come across hijras who believe they are privileged compared to women and that the female sex experience is different from theirs #and I don't even like how hijras talk about womanhood at all but they are genuinely so much less worse than trans people who follow Western #gender ideology #desi lgbt #lgbt india #desi feminism

14 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 2 months

Note

Hey, Dani. I am trying to incorporate more culturally diverse backgrounds into my writing (which is partly thanks to you, so thank you) and I was wondering if I could ask for some advise. I am writing a short fic where two characters meet at a Holi festival. The concentration won't be the actual festival rather than the characters' conversation, but I want to set an accurate background. I have done my research, but as I have no experience with Holi festivals and don't want to accidentally write anything inaccurate or offensive, do you have any tips on how to accurately describe the setting? I hope this isn't perceived as me being an ignorant idiot or treating you as a Wikipedia page. Anyway, I love your stories, keep going!

This is wonderful to hear and kudos to you!

I think the first and best step is to ask help if you don't know something and want to do better - so you already got that covered 😇

I'm going to start by saying I am not Indian (Holi is an Indian festival even though it is celebrated by Indians everywhere) so I've never been to one either. But I can guide you on how to write a scene about a different culture/festival if that helps.

If it's for a setting/event, things that really help is:

For descriptions - watch a lot of videos. Like actual videos of people celebrating (not scenes from movies as they can have stereotypes) as it can give you ideas about what it looks like and how to capture it. This always helps to describe the scene/atmosphere well.

Any desi festival (to the best of my knowledge) has its own food. There are special food that we make and is popular during certain festivals so look into this. See what kind of sweets people make to celebrate holi and having it incorporated in the background (like a simple mention of something eating something like that) goes a long way in terms of making your story more diverse and inclusive.

Language - Now this is a very important one but also tricky and requires a lot of research. If one of your characters is Indian (or is talking to an Indian) remember that they WILL use their own language to refer to certain things. For example, when referring to the colourful stuff people throw at each other during Holi, even though we might call it 'powder' or whatever, an Indian is very unlikely to call it that. They will probably say Gulal (or something else depending on their language since India is very diverse). For example, in my stories, Cami (when referring to her mother) always says Amma (or mother). She never says mom (even when referring to Anjali to someone else) because it's not part of her vocabulary. It's the same way Achilles always calls Rafael 'Rafa' (because I've been told that;s the common nickname among Mexicans for Rafael, not Rafe). These little things always help and if an Indian is reading your story, these are the little things they will appreciate.

Peer review - if you have an Indian friend, do ask them to read it after you write it. No one can give you better feedback than them!

Be open to criticism - I still make mistakes when I portray these characters and that's because despite how much research you do, you can't know everything because cultures are so complex! One of the things I always struggle with is language (I get feedback on what kind of words are popular in what regions etc) and this is actually very useful. So always make sure to be a writer who welcomes feedback and is willing to learn. Your readers will appreciate that a lot!

I hope this helps and good luck with your story!!

#writing #support

5 notes · View notes

e-the-village-cryptid · 2 years

Note

Hey I’m also queer and I use it as an identity label. I don’t agree with people excessively trigger tagging it when it’s not necessary, but I’d really suggest you educate yourself on its history as a slur. I am a gay trans man, so this is absolutely not terf rhetoric from me. But I was called queer in a derogatory way my entire life because I lived in a rural area where it was absolutely used as a slur. Maybe consider that ppl asking for trigger tags are also LGBT and not your enemy lol

Like go ahead and isolate yourself from other queer ppl all you want but just bc some ppl are genuinely triggered by the term doesn’t mean they’re attacking you for using it, lmfao

I know you probably mean well by this ask, and I see where you're coming from. I disagree, but I will give a good faith answer in return.

To understand where I'm coming from, let's compare the words queer and gay. Both words originally referred to general sexual deviancy in a pejorative sense, only later being reclaimed as proudly worn identities. Both words have been used as slurs for a long time afterwards, queer being more popular in the mid 20th century and gay gaining popularity as a slur in the later 20th into the 21st century.

I know way more queer people in real life who have a complicated relationship with the word gay than the word queer because gay was the word that was slung at them as an insult and a weapon their entire childhood. Gay was The insult of the 80s, 90s, and 00s. Anything bad, or weak, or stupid was "gay". There were whole campaigns to try to stop the use of gay as an insult, that's how bad it got. It's given a lot of people a lot of pain connected with the word.

But I have never, ever, seen someone tag a post "g slur". Why? Two words, both initially pejorative, both reclaimed, both continuously used liberally by those who hate us as a slur and an insult. Isn't it interesting how the more inclusive of those two words was targeted in a concentrated effort that started just a few years ago in terf communities? Isn't it interesting how the more narrow, less inclusive word, despite being the one more recently used as a slur and insult, despite the people in the community who still flinch when they hear it, was simply left alone?

To be clear, I don't think that we should be trigger tagging gay, or starting some "gay is a slur!" movement. I'm just pointing out parallels and questioning why the attitude towards two words with similar histories are so vastly different.

Educate myself on its history? I know it was used as a slur. So was gay, so was lesbian, so was every goddam word we have ever used to describe ourselves because it is not the words they find disgusting, it is us. Queer has been reclaimed and used in a neutral or positive way for decades and decades.

Context matters. "you dirty queer" = slur "I went to the queer student group meeting last week" = not a slur "ew that's so gay" = slur "I came out as gay when I was 16" = not a slur

No one is denying that queer has been and can still be used as a slur. But this specific "queer is a slur in any context!" movement legitimately did come out of terf communities in the last few years. I'm not accusing you of being associated with terfs. But "queer is a slur and triggering no matter how it's used" is terf rhetoric, and they've managed to spread it beyond their community. To claim that a word that has been reclaimed for decades and used in a neutral-to-positive context is a slur is disingenuous, and they know it, but they've successfully gotten other people to parrot it by hiding it under a layer of false concern.

One final thought: I have literally never seen anyone ask for queer to be tagged because they personally are triggered by the word. It's always people speaking on behalf of some hypothetical person who can't stand to even see my identity written out in a neutral-to-positive context. And if anyone really is so genuinely triggered by the term that they can't even stand to read it, they can just filter the post content, tumblr lets you do that.

#also i don't see people who tag my posts with 'q slur' as my enemy i just silently block them and i've said that #because it upsets me and i don't want to deal with that #if people can be upset by the word queer and not want to deal with that #then i can be upset by them saying my identity is a slur and not want to deal with that #do i think they're attacking me for calling myself queer? no #do i want to deal with people parroting regressive terf rhetoric that only emerged recently? also no #i just block and move on. i've made that boundary clear and i've never been mean to anyone about it #ask tag #queer #an e original

33 notes · View notes

tyrannuspitch · 3 years

Text

Jumping off @kidrat ’s recent post on JKR, British transphobia, and transphobia against transmasculine people, after getting a bit carried away and too long to add as a comment:

A major, relatively undiscussed event in JKR’s descent into full terfery was this tweet:

[image id: a screenshot of a tweet from JK Rowling reading: “’People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”

Rowling attaches a link to an article titled: “Opinion: Creating a more equal post-COVID-19 world for people who menstruate” /end id]

This can seem like a pretty mundane TERF talking point, just quibbling over language for the sake of it, but I think it’s worth discussing, especially in combination with the idea that cis women like JKR see transmasculine transition as a threat to their womanhood. (Recite it with horror: ”If I were young now, I might’ve transitioned...”)

A lot of people, pro- or anti-transphobe, will make this discussion about whether the term “woman” should include trans women or not, and how cis women are hostile to the inclusion of trans women. And that’s absolutely true. But the actual language cis women target is very frequently being changed for the benefit of trans men, not trans women, and most of them know this.

Cis people are used to having their identities constantly reaffirmed and grounded in their bodies. A lot of cis women, specifically, understand their social and physical identities as women as being defined by pain: misogynistic oppression is equated to the pains of menstruation or childbirth, and both are seen as the domain of cis women. They’re something cis women can bond over and build a “sisterhood” around, and the more socially aware among them can recognise that cis women’s pain being taken less seriously by medicine is not unrelated to their oppression. However, in the absence of any trans perspectives, these conversations can also easily become very territorial and very bioessentialist.

Therefore... for many cis women, seeing “female bodies” described in gender neutral language feels like stripping their pain of its meaning, and they can become very defensive and angry.

And the consequences for transmasculine people can be extremely dangerous.

Not only do transmasculine people have an equal right to cis women to define our bodies as our own... Using inclusive language in healthcare is about more than just emotional validation.

The status quo in healthcare is already non-inclusive. When seeking medical help, trans people can expect to be misgendered and to have to explain how our bodies work to the doctors. We risk harassment, pressure to detransition, pressure to sterilise ourselves, or just being outright turned away. And the conversation around pregnancy and abortion in particular is heaving with cisnormativity - both feminist and anti-feminist cis women constantly talk about pregnancy as a quintessentially female experience which men could never understand.

Using gender-neutral language is the most basic step possible to try and make transmasculine people safer in healthcare, by removing the idea that these are “women’s spaces”, that men needing these services is impossible, and that safety depends on ideas like “we’re all women here”. Not institutionally subjecting us to misgendering and removing the excuse to outright deny us treatment is, again, one of the most basic steps that can be taken. It doesn’t mean we’re allowed comfort, dignity or full autonomy, just that one major threat is being addressed. The backlash against this from cis women is defending their poorly developed senses of self... at the cost of most basic dignity and safety for transmasculine people.

Ironically, though transphobic cis women feel like decoupling “women’s experiences” from womanhood is decoupling them from gendered oppression, transmasculine people experience even more marginalisation than cis women. Our rates of suicide and assault are even higher. Our health is even less researched than cis women’s. Our bodies are even more strictly controlled. Cis women wanting to define our bodies on their terms is a significant part of that. They hold the things we need hostage as “women’s rights”, “women’s health”, “women’s discussions” and “support for violence against women”, and demand we (re-)closet ourselves or lose all of their solidarity.

Fundamentally, the problem is that transphobic cis women are possessive over their experiences and anyone who shares them. Because of their binary understanding of gender, they’re uncomfortable with another group sharing many of their experiences but defining themselves differently. They’re uncomfortable with transmasculine people identifying “with the enemy” instead of “with their sisters”, and they’re even more uncomfortable with the idea that there are men in the world who they oppress, and not the other way around. “Oppression is for women; you can’t call yourself a man and still claim women’s experiences. Pregnancy is for women; if you want to be a man so badly why haven’t already you done something about having a woman’s body? How dare you abandon the sisterhood while inhabiting one of our bodies?”

Which brings me back to the TERF line about how “If I were young now, I might have transitioned.”

I’m not saying Rowling doesn’t actually feel any personal connection to that narrative - but it is a standard line, and it’s standard for a reason. Transphobic cis women really believe that there is nothing trans men go through that cis women don’t. They equate our dysphoria to internalised misogyny, eating disorders, sexual abuse or other things they see as “female trauma”. They equate our desire to transition to a desire to escape. They want to “help us accept ourselves” and “save us” from threats to their sense of identity. The fact is, this is all projection. They refuse to consider that we really have a different internal experience from them.

There’s also a marked tendency among less overtly transphobic cis women, even self-proclaimed trans allies, to make transphobia towards trans men about cis women.

Violence against trans men is chronically misreported and redefined as “violence against women”. In activist spaces, we’re frequently told that any trauma we have with misogyny is “misdirected” and therefore “not really about us”. If we were women, we would’ve been “experiencing misogyny”, but men can’t do that, so we should shut up and stop “talking over women”. (Despite the surface difference of whether they claim to affirm our gender, this is extremely similar to how TERFs tell us that everything we experience is “just misogyny”, but that transmasculine identity is a delusion that strips us of the ability to understand gender or the right to talk about it.)

I have personally witnessed an actual N*zi writing an article about how trans men are “destroying the white race” by transitioning and therefore becoming unfit to carry children, and because the N*zi had misgendered trans men in his article, every response I saw to it was about “men controlling women’s bodies”.

All a transphobe has to do is misgender us, and the conversation about our own oppression is once again about someone else.

Transphobes will misgender us as a form of violence, and cis feminist “allies” will perpetuate our misgendering for rhetorical convenience. Yes, there is room to analyse how trans men are treated by people who see us as women - but applying a simple “men oppressing women” dynamic that erases our maleness while refusing to even name transphobia or cissexism is not that. Trans men’s oppression is not identical to cis women’s, and forcing us to articulate it in ways that would include cis women in it means we cannot discuss the differences.

It may seem like I’ve strayed a long way from the original topic, and I kind of have, but the central reason for all of these things is the same:

Trans men challenge cis women’s self-concept. We force them to actually consider what manhood and womanhood are and to re-analyse their relationship to oppression, beyond a simple binary patriarchy.

TERFs will tell you themselves that the acknowledgement of trans people, including trans men, is an “existential threat” that is “erasing womanhood” - not just our own, but cis women’s too. They hate the idea that biology doesn’t determine gender, and that gender does not have a strict binary relationship to oppression. They’re resentful of the idea that they could just “become men”, threatened by the assertion that doing so is not an escape, and completely indignant at the idea that their cis womanhood could give them any kind of power. They are, fundamentally, desperate not to have to face the questions we force them to consider, so they erase us, deflect from us, and talk over us at every opportunity.

Trans men are constantly redefined against our wills for the benefit of cis womanhood.

TL;DR:

Cis women find transmasculine identity threatening, because we share experiences that they see as foundational to their womanhood

The fact that transphobes target inclusive language in healthcare specifically is not a mistake - They do not want us to be able to transition safely

Cis women are uncomfortable acknowledging transphobia, so they make discussion of trans men’s oppression about “womanhood” instead

This can manifest as fully denying that trans men experience our own oppression, or as pretending trans men’s experiences are identical to cis women’s in every way

#transphobia #transmasculinity #transandrophobia #this could maybe do with one more proofread but i've spent way too long on this so whatever!

780 notes · View notes

ot3 · 3 years

Note

Wait back up explain how yjk is a trans woman. This isn’t a hostile ask I’m actually very excited about your take

I am happy to explain my take. here’s how trans woman yoo jonghyuk can still win. orv spoilers below, obviously, mostly centered around the murim arc but up through the end of the epilogues as well.

okay normally in terms of making this kind of post i’d go pull quotes directly from the text and i honestly really want to but i’m supposed to be catching up on homework today and can’t justify taking the time. anyway. i’m just gonna they/them yjh here because i’m never sure what pronouns to use when talking about a character who i think Should Come Out in the Future.

first things first, everything about being a transcender is very gendery. prominent transcenders in ORV are

- kyrgios, an incredibly beautiful man who is self conscious of his small stature

- breaking the sky sword saint namgung minyoung, who is a woman of an unusually large stature, thought by some to be monstrous, who teaches a discipline of martial arts exclusively for women.

- jang hayoung, a trans girl, who is the king of transcenders

- yoo jonghyuk.

when they talk about transcendence in orv there are two very specific things that come up repeatedly: 1. being able to overcome the natural limitations of the body and 2. defying the structure opposed onto them by the star stream system. Specifically an interesting note about that last bit is that there’s this whole thing about how transcendence can only exist because the star stream exist - it exclusively exists in opposition to the rigorous hierarchy of the star stream, which is the dominant social narrative, and has no meaning or power on it’s own.

In a text like orv’s, i don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to see ‘characters who are social outcasts attempt to gain power by forging a sense of self outside of the dominant order and overcoming the limitations of their physical body’ and read it as a metaphor for being transgender. but then, on top of that, there’s all the stuff with the punisher

everything that’s in orv is there for a reason. there is an insanely little amount of wasted space in this novel. despite how much shit that happens it’s an incredibly tight narrative. SO WHY DO WE INTRODUCE THE CONCEPT THAT YOO JONGHYUK IS STRONGEST WHEN TRANSFORMED INTO A WOMAN? obviously it’s just incredibly fun hijinks in and of itself to have yoo jonghyuk’s gender get transed, but literally all of this begs the question of “why write it so that yoo jonghyuk’s primary martial art form is something that’s supposed to only be learned by women.”

the narrative doesn’t ever really address the in-universe reasoning behind why they can actually learn it. kim dokja gives us what boils down to ‘he manage to overcome that’ without no real elaboration. jang hayoung learns breaking the sky swordsmanship as well. whatever gender-based qualification is used to allow people to learn the skill, it’s not a biological gender-essentialist one.

the punisher introduction pays off when YJH uses that appearance to win the martial arts festival, but to me that mechanical, narratively-oriented reason for its inclusion doesn’t justify it’s presence in the story in and of itself.

What really stuck out to me on the read through later was this line, from the demon king selection arc, when yjh takes the punisher’s form to combat the constellations after kim dokja has passed out.

A dazzling aura burst from Yoo Jonghyuk’s body. Soft hair poured down like a waterfall while his large size became a smaller and sleeker body. He took the form that allowed him to practice the ultimate Breaking the Sky Swordsmanship. Yoo Sangah stared at the scene from behind and couldn’t help opening her mouth. “…Yoo Jonghyuk-ssi?”

Yoo Jonghyuk slowly turned back, his long hair cut off by the Black Demon Sword. The ines of the face had changed but it was clearly Yoo Jonghyuk. No, it was even more than before.

basically, after appearing to their companions as a woman, the narrative tells us yoo jonghyuk looks more like yoo jonghyuk than before.

this reading also makes even more sense when you interpret it through the lens of how power hierarchy actually works in orv’s narrative. incarnation, constellation, and transcenders alike all gain their truest power from their stories. the Story of yoo jonghyuk as a woman is one that is, quite literally, empowering.

although we know it’s not actually true, yjh themself and kdj’s understanding and interpretation of yjh, present yjh as a person whose only goal in life is to, by any means including the sacrificing of countless human lives, some of whom he is very personally close to, gain the power to overcome the star stream. but here we have a significant power boost yjh seems to actively avoid taking advantage of. which really suggests there’s some deeper emotional issues at play here.

which brings me to my last point: i think it would just be a very fitting end for the character.

We never see yjh’s ◼️◼️ in canon. Yjh’s entire arc is about attempting to claim agency and personhood after that has been denied to them just by virtue of his very existence, and we don’t ever see this come to completion. Which i love, don’t get me wrong. I think yjh’s ◼️◼️ is something that could never be in canon, because it’d have to be something that happened to them outside of the context of the story, for meta reasons. but that’s an entirely other discussion. Anyway.

but point being this means that yjh’s sense of self is, at canon’s end, unresolved. Over the course of the epilogues we see yjh become, for the first time, a reader, and i think this is really critical. it’s kim dokja’s status as a ‘reader’ that allows him to have the greatest influence on the story. back before kim dokja seems to come to grips with jang hayoung’s gender identity, what people keep telling him is that there is ‘more than one interpretation of a story’. on a physical level, constellations and high level incarnations are composed of their stories. in orv canon the Self and the Story are for all intents and purposes, synonymous. hence the entire ending.

yjh’s story has been told and read by quite literally anyone but themself up to this point. but now, for the first time, yjh has both the space and means to self-reflect. coming out as a trans woman would be a radical reclamation of his own story, both re-reading their past and re-writing their future, and i think it’s a reading the text explicitly goes out of its way to give some support to.

also. not to mention. yjh as a woman is canonically the hottest character in all of orv. just SO sexy, guys. so extremely sexy.

#orv #omniscient reader #yoo jonghyuk #Anonymous

500 notes · View notes

ficforthought · 3 years

Text

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

235 notes · View notes

sokos · 3 years

Text

Different forms of biphobia according to the San Francisco Human Rights Commission - "Bisexual invisibility"

For reference WMSMW means women who have sex with men and women, and similar for men.

❝ Bisexuals experience high rates of being ignored, discriminated against, demonized, or rendered invisible by both the heterosexual world and the lesbian and gay communities. Often, the entire sexual orientation is branded as invalid, immoral, or irrelevant. Despite years of activism and the largest population within the LGBT community, the needs of bisexuals still go unaddressed and their very existence is still called into question. This erasure has serious consequences on bisexuals’ health, economic well-being, and funding for bi organizations and programs. [...] Despite the overwhelming data that bisexuals exist, other people’s assumptions often render bisexuals invisible. Two women holding hands are read as “lesbian,” two men as “gay,” and a man and a woman as “straight.” In reality, any of these people might be bi―perhaps all of them. The majority of research lumps data on bisexuals under “gay” or “lesbian,” which makes it difficult to draw any conclusions about bisexuals and skews the data about lesbians and gay men. “Thus any particular needs of bisexuals are eclipsed and conflated. Only a handful of studies separate out bisexuals and/or report on their bisexual-specific findings. Fewer compare bisexuals to people who are not bisexual.” [...] Bisexuals find themselves erased in history. Many famous people―such as Marlene Dietrich, June Jordan, Freddie Mercury, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Walt Whitman―have been labeled as lesbian or gay for their same-sex relationships, yet their long-term relationships with different-sex partners are ignored or their importance minimized. This disrespects the truth of their lives for the sake of a binary conception of sexual orientation. It also makes it more difficult for bisexuals just coming out to find role models. This historical erasure also extends to activists. Rather than acknowledging the decades of hard work bisexuals have done in the LGBT movement, many gays and lesbians have accused bisexuals of trying to “ride their coattails.” In fact, bisexuals have often been leaders in the movement. In just one example, it was a bi woman, Brenda Howard, who organized the one-month anniversary rally in honor of the Stonewall uprising. Then a year later, she organized a march and celebration that turned into New York’s annual pride parade and inspired countless other pride celebrations around the world. [...] Often, the word “bisexual” shows up in an organization’s name or mission statement, but the group doesn’t offer programming that addresses the specific needs of bisexuals (see the chapter on organizations and programs serving bisexuals). Even when an organization is inclusive, the press and public officials often fall back on the “safety” of saying just “gay and lesbian.” There is even a growing trend of talking about the “gay, lesbian, and transgender” movement. But words matter. Invisibility matters. Bisexuals find themselves excluded in other ways as well.

Bisexual invisibility is one of many manifestations of biphobia. Others forms of biphobia include:

- Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.

- Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.

- Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.

- Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.

- Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the “opposite” sex/gender.

- Believing that bisexual men spread HIV/AIDS to heterosexuals.

- Believing that bisexual women spread HIV/AIDS to lesbians.

Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.

- Refusing to accept someone’s self-identification as bisexual if the person hasn’t had sex with both men and women.

- Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side.”

- Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.

- Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.

- Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with “opposite” sex/gender partners.

- Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friends about their lovers or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.

- Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an “opposite” gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a “heterosexual” pairing.

- Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.

- Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.

- Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.

- Refusing to use the word bisexual in the media when reporting on people attracted to more than one gender, instead substituting made-up terms such as “gay-ish.”

- Using the terms phase or stage or confused or fence-sitter or bisexual or AC/DC or switch-hitter as slurs or in an accusatory way.

- Assuming bisexuals are incapable of monogamy.

- Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.

- Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of her/his sexuality rather than seeing her/him as a whole, complete person.

- Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.

- Assuming bisexual means “available.”

- Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.

- Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (such as HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, military service, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of “lesbian and/or gay” issues.

- Avoiding mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.

The implications of bi invisibility go far beyond bisexuals wanting to feel welcome at the table. It also has a significant impact on bisexuals’ health. Here are just a few examples from recent largescale studies :

Writing the rest under Read More...

- Bisexual people experience greater health disparities than the broader population, including a greater likelihood of suffering from depression and other mood or anxiety disorders.

- Bisexuals report higher rates of hypertension, poor or fair physical health, smoking, and risky drinking than heterosexuals or lesbians/gays.

- Many, if not most, bisexual people don’t come out to their healthcare providers. This means they are getting incomplete information (for example, about safer sex practices).

- Most HIV and STI prevention programs don’t adequately address the health needs of bisexuals, much less those who have sex with both men and women but do not identify as bisexual.

- Bisexual women in relationships with monosexual partners have an increased rate of domestic violence compared to women in other demographic categories.

In the 1980s and 1990s, bisexuals were vociferously blamed for the spread of HIV (even though the virus is spread by unprotected sex, not a bisexual identity). However, a 1994 study of data from San Francisco is also worth noting: it found that at that time, bisexually identified MSMW (men who have sex with men and women) weren’t a “common vector or ‘bridge’ for spreading HIV from male partners to female partners due to high rates of using barrier protection and extremely low rates of risky behavior.” Yet scapegoating continues. Sometimes it is explicit, as in the misleading hysteria about men on the “down low” infecting unsuspecting female partners, particularly in the African-American community. Other times, the negative message is communicated in subtle ways. For example, in the 2008 San Francisco Department of Public Health HIV/AIDS Epidemiology Annual Report, MSMWs are not mentioned at all, their data most likely absorbed into information about MSMs. The only time the word “bisexual” appears is as an infection source for heterosexual women.

In a 2010 study using Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System data from Washington State, Compared to lesbians:

Bisexual women had significantly lower levels of education, were more likely to be living with income below 200% of the federal poverty level, and had more children living in the household.

- Bisexual women were significantly less likely to have health insurance coverage and more likely to experience financial barriers to receiving healthcare services.

- Bisexual women were more likely to be current smokers and acute drinkers.

- Bisexual women showed significantly higher rates of poor general health and frequent mental distress, even after controlling for confounding variables.

Although we have some information about the health of bisexual people and of men and women who have sex with more than one gender, there is still much that we do not know. It is important for researchers to employ methodologies that group bisexuals together, or that group together people who have sex with partners of more than one gender; rather than only the more common practice of grouping gay and bisexual men or lesbian and bisexual women together, never separately examining attributes of and needs of the latter. Why? Because bisexual women’s issues are not always the same as lesbian issues, even for bisexual women who only have sex with partners of the same gender or for "lesbian-identified" women who have sex with men as well as women. Bisexual men’s issues are not always the same as gay male issues, even for bisexual men who only have sex with partners of the same gender or for gay-identified men who have sex with women as well as men. Likewise, heterosexuals’ issues are different from those of bisexuals, even among heterosexually-identified MSMW and WSMW. Why would health issues be different for people who share similar lived experiences but use different sexual orientation labels? Some of the issues would be similar, including some concerns related to sexual health. But because of biphobia and bi-invisibility, which affect bisexuals on an immediate, personal level, bisexuals may have very different health experiences. These differences may result from increased stress and experiences of discrimination in general, and/or more specifically from experiencing biphobia from healthcare providers.

There are health issues that are specific and generalizeable to bisexuals as a group and health issues that are specific and generalizeable to people who have partners of more than one gender as a group. This literature review shines a spotlight on specific challenges related to HIV and STI prevention among bisexuals, WSMW, and MSMW. Unfortunately, existing research on this topic is scarce. Much of it lumps bisexuals into either “lesbian” or “gay male” categories, making it difficult to draw any conclusions about bisexual health. Data on bisexual women’s sexual health is less prevalent than men’s, particularly data on WSMW. Additionally, not all researchers take into consideration whether their study participants identify as bisexual, MSMW, WSMW, or something else. It is important to recognize that many, if not most, bisexual people do not come out to their health care providers or to researchers due to judgments that silence, stereotypes that shame, and assumptions that erase bisexual identity. When a woman is partnered and says she is using birth control, there may be an automatic assumption that she is monogamous and heterosexual. A man in a same-sex relationship is assumed to be gay and therefore not in need of information about sex with women. When a man says he is married or partnered, there are often no subsequent questions asked about other sexual partners. Health care providers need to become aware of how to serve this often-overlooked community and its unique concerns, looking at a patient’s sexual behavior rather than simply a patient’s sexual identity

Little information is available about female sexual health, especially in regards to WSMW. A study published in the American Journal of Public Health 1998 is a perfect illustration. The report featured statistics about both the male and female study participants, all of whom were receiving treatment for HIV. However, the researchers identified all women as simply “women,” with no sexual orientation descriptors. In contrast, the men in the study were categorized as either gay men, bisexual men, or heterosexual men. One study that actually does highlight bisexual women’s health is a 1996 study by Cochran and Mays, which found that bisexual women are more likely than lesbians to use latex or plastic barrier protection for oral sex with women. More recent research [found], like Cochran and Mays, that among WSW and WSMW, having larger numbers of female partners is positively correlated with having vaginal infections, specifically bacterial vaginosis, trichomonas vaginalis, and herpes.

In a study published in 2003, Ciccarone et al. reports that 40 percent of HIV-positive gay and bisexual men have had sex without disclosing their HIV status to their sexual partners, usually within the context of a “casual dating” or a nonexclusive relationship. The study does not distinguish between its gay and bisexual participants, which makes it impossible to extrapolate data specific to the bisexual cohort. Nevertheless, HIV prevention programs working with HIV-positive clients should take relationship context into account when discussing disclosure and behavior. Crepaz and Marks studied safer sex practices and disclosure of status to partners, among HIVpositive men. They found no differences between men who have sex with women (MSW), men who have sex with men (MSM), and MSMW regarding which group was more likely to practice safer sex techniques and/or disclose serostatus to their partners. Unfortunately, their reporting confuses these groups (MSW, MSM, and MSMW) with sexual orientation identities

Case et al. found that bisexual women were twice as likely to have never given birth compared to heterosexual women. However, among women who had given birth, bisexual women were twice as likely as heterosexual women to have done so during their teenage years. Not giving birth may put bisexual women at greater risk for ovarian and endometrial cancers, and teenage pregnancy also has health implications

In 1996 Cochran and Mays published a study that analyzed sexual behavior and HIV risk among young lesbians and bisexual women. Participants were recruited at gay pride events, potentially excluding bisexual women who are in different-sex relationships and who socialize in heterosexual communities. The researchers found that, while the overall majority of women do not use barrier protection during oral sex with women, those participants who do use barriers during oral sex with women are most likely to identify as bisexual. Despite that finding, Cochran and Mays reported that “high-risk sexual experimentation… is most likely to occur among teenagers who do not yet consider themselves to be lesbians.” It is important to note, however, that bisexual identification is not necessarily transitional, simply “experimentation,” or a teenage phase. Researchers should be aware of unintentional implications that bisexually-identified clients are not “yet” gay or lesbian and/or are necessarily engaging in high-risk behavior.

Cheryl Dobinson and colleagues explain that disclosure is important for bisexual clients for many reasons, including: "…the desire to be seen as a whole person, with bisexuality being part of who they are, to increase comfort levels and understanding, so proper diagnoses can be made and relevant information given, so providers can be sensitive and understanding to the issues being faced, for appropriate resources referrals, and generally because it is important for mental health and emotional wellness". Clients who experience homophobia, biphobia, or ignorance when dealing with health care providers may not receive appropriate information about sexual health, with some physicians “equating bisexuality with having multiple partners, not receiving appropriate information about safer sex with male and female partners, voyeurism, inappropriate jokes or comments, bisexuality being seen as the problem, and being told that you’re either gay or straight.” For example, women who identify as lesbian to their health care provider may not be given any information on safer sex techniques with men because it may be assumed that the client’s only sexual activity in the past and in the future is solely with women. This kind of misinformation has especially devastating effects on youth who are just beginning to explore their sexuality. Bisexual youth are becoming sexually active without being provided with the information they need to responsibly and safely engage in sexual activity. ❞

Bisexual people also experience economic discrimination based on their sexuality, lack of institutional support, and other forms of biphobia. You can read more about these stats and surveys by clicking on the link above.

#long post #i didn't copy the whole thing so you can open the link and read it yourself #but i did copy almost everything lol sorry to the people who don't like long texts #bisexuality #biphobia #sokos.txt #lgbt #febfem #radfems do interact #bisexual history #lgbt history

108 notes · View notes

kindcolors · 2 years

Text

below the cut is something written off the hc that carlos came from somewhere where homophobia was more widespread and hes suprised by night vales inclusivity < /3

“What was it like when you came out of the closet?” Carlos asked, his glass clinking against the coffee table. He folded his legs under him, popping each of his knuckles twice as he looked at Cecil.

“Oh, uh,” Cecil hummed, “Well, I didn’t really come out, Abby just opened the door and said ‘found you!’ And then I lost.”

Carlos blinked. “What?”

“Like… playing? Hiding in a closet during hide and seek? …You have played hide and go seek, right Carlos?”

“Yes, yes I have,” Carlos said, letting out a dumbfounded laugh in lieu of not knowing how else to react. “I just mean… when you got your first boyfriend, what did Abby say about it?”

“Really, all she said was ‘so you’re Henry? Cool.’ And then she kinda never talked to him again. That’s to be expected, though; we were in 10th grade, those high school relationships never go on for too long.”

“She wasn’t mad?”

“No, why would she be, bunny?” Cecil put an arm on the back of the couch, propping his head up with his hand.

“Um,” Carlos continued cracking his knuckles despite them already being popped, “Ah, no reason. Just… I’m glad she didn’t mind it. I’m glad it went well.”

“What was there to go wrong?”

Carlos twisted the wedding ring on his finger. “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do,” Cecil said, taking Carlos’ hand into his and squeezing. “What’s bothering you about all this? Are you alright?”

“You really wanna know?”

Cecil brought Carlos’ hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Of course I do, sweetie.”

Carlos blushed. “You ol’ sap. Well, when I was fifteen, I was a very curious kid. I loved science, lived and breathed it even back then, but one day I passed by this kiosk in the mall, okay? And I saw this magazine, it was a hockey magazine, and I had no interest in the sport, but I did, ah,” Carlos fussed with his collar. “I did have an interest in the shirtless man on the cover of it.”

“Ah,” Cecil smiled, “I follow. For me, it was the Luftnarp men's Olympic swim team’s swimsuit calendar.”

Snorting, Carlos patted Cecil’s hand. “I’m surprised it wasn’t ‘Scientists of America’.”

“Alright, alright, back to that story!”

“Of course,” Carlos said, “So, I bought the magazine with what was supposed to buy me lunch at school the next day, but I didn’t care because I was a scientist in the making and I had some theories to test. I hid it under my mattress, and in the middle of the night, I would pull it out and stare at it. I analyzed the way it made my stomach clench as if I was nervous, and how the longer I looked the more my hands sweated. I realized there was a correlation between my feelings for that magazine model and my feelings around some of my peers; they were all men, and I liked them very much. I didn’t know what to do with this discovery, so I left the magazine back under my mattress and carried on like normal. Eventually, I decided that the evidence was enough to finally come to terms with the idea that I’m gay. I told no one else; I overheard other kids get their teeth knocked in for it, so I was happy with being the only one to know.”

“That’s awful,” Cecil said softly.

“It is, but as a kid that’s how where I lived operated. So, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew no one else who was gay because every other kid who was didn’t say it out loud either. One day, when I came home from science club after school, my papa was standing right in front of the door as soon as it opened it. He was holding the magazine. He asked if it was mine, and I said no. He didn’t believe me. He asked if I was queer, and I said no. He didn’t believe me still. I looked at my mama and brother on the couch, and both refused to look back at me. Papa told me I had an hour to put a bag together and get out of his house. I had a bag packed in thirty minutes.”

Cecil had taken to stroking Carlos’ arm, brows furrowed in worry as he nodded along to Carlos’ story. “How could they have done that to their own son? You were only, what, fifteen? Still a child. Left to fend for yourself so early.”

“I don’t know why he did it. Didn’t like the idea of having a gay kid to embarrass him, I suppose. But, it wasn’t all bad. He let me keep the magazine.”

“Carlos.”

Carlos chuckled. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t really know who else to feel better from it than to laugh. I can say it didn’t end awfully, though; when I got kicked out, I had a friend’s family take me in at least until I was legally an adult. I went through and started working odd jobs, I got a lot of academic scholarships for college, enough to take me to my first doctorate! And, when I was twenty-eight, my mama called and apologized. She was in tears, so sorry that she ever let me be treated like that. I was able to let her back in- I didn’t forget how I was treated, but I had my mama back after everything. And, well,” Carlos leaned forward and kissed Cecil, cupping his cheek lightly and moving his glasses up. “I met you. One of the greatest discoveries I’ve made to this date.”

“Aw,” Cecil hummed, kissing Carlos’ forehead before he could move back away, “...When we have a child, let’s promise to never make them feel like they have to hide anything, or live in fear of anything, or like they’re not good enough.”

“When?”

Cecil’s face flushed. “Or, if.”

Carlos kissed Cecil again for good measure. “I like ‘when’."

#rambles #wtnv #long post #mywriting #homophobia tw

19 notes · View notes