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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

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hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin

this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies

BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!

FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what?

BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!

FRANK: You mean caramel?

BARNABY: That’s what I said.

FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.

BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.

FRANK: We absolutely are not!

JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.

BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!

FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?

JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!

FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?

WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.

FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?

BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!

FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!

BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!

FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-

[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen]

FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!

EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time?

BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?

EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?

FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!

SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?

FRANK: AGH!

BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!

SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!

FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!

BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.

JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies!

SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.

FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny.

EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s…

[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]

EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!

[Frank makes an affronted noise]

FRANK: Poppy will see sense.

POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-

FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.

EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you.

POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?

BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!

SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!

POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -

SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy.

POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.

[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]

WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…

POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.

FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!

JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!

BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they!

POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?

[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]

JULIE: Oop, there he goes!

POPPY: Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.

BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.

WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…

POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes.

SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.

POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-

BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.

FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.

BARNABY: Talk about a bias…

[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]

FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-

[Home slowly shuts their curtains]

FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.

WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.

BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.

JULIE: They did not!

BARNABY: Looked like it to me!

SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!

JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!

FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-

JULIE: Us!

FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up.

BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.

[store bell chimes]

HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?

BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!

FRANK: We have important business.

HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical.

FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?

EDDIE: If I would what?

SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?

EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.

[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop]

HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.

BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?

[Frank mutters something inaudible]

BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!

FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere!

EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…

JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank!

[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]

HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?

BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.

HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-

[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]

FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?

BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…

SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.

EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.

JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh?

HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.

FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.

HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.

[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]

HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched!

WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.

[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]

[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]

#consider this a low budget dollar store fanfic #didnt want to write an actual fic so Just The Dialogue Works Fine #anyway ive never tried to write a script-adjacent Anything so have mercy on me #i dont know what im doing ever! im having fun anyways!#and for the record! im team carmul #well all pronunciations are valid in my book but i say carmul #always have always will dont know why dont know how #my parents tried to make me say it 'caramel' growing up and uhhh No <3 #its fuckin carmul to me. To Me.#i dont say potahto tho. who the fuck does that who isnt a 50s mob boss in jersey #if a 50s mob boss in jersey is reading this: you'll never catch me alive #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #hmmm i should have a writing tag at this point #yk what ill just reuse - wait no i cant reuse the one from my dc sideblog #oh fuck it we'll stay on theme #snippets from the bog #yeah this little writing thing has been in my docs for like.#checking my nonexistent watch here. mmmmmmdont know. a while #and im slightly terrified to post!#its one thing posting art - posting any sort of writing is like breaking your ribs open with a crab cracker #and saying Hi! Have A Taste! I Hope My Viscera Isn't Completely Disgusting!#my god i hope they're at least acceptably in character. im trying im trying #i hope this gives someone a laugh!#or at least a hearty Chortle #or... blowing air through your nose in amusement. yes

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emeraldwarriors · 5 months

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begging jeremy adams please make them friends this time around and let hal!!! apologize!!!!!!!

#hal jordan #carol ferris #halcarol #green lantern #绿灯小丑 #woah i havent really looked into this sideblog for months lmfao my bad #but i caught up with the issues recently and wtf why is barry encouraging hal to be a homewrecker WHEN HAL REALIZES HE SHOULD LET CAROL GO.#[pushes barry down a flight of stairs]#listen im halcarol no.1 fan always has been but if hal and carol stayed close friends in this run i would see god #THEY WORK WELL TOGETHER GIVE ME THE FERRIS AIR TEAM BACK + tom #anyway those flowers mean smth but im too lazy to type it out just analyze yourself if you care a lot about halcarol . cheers #this art looks bad bc i havent drawn in a bit after getting sick but i needed to post it to post my point <- very sane thought process

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cameforthejaidenstayedfortheeggs · 7 months

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I hate when people act like Tallulah’s sass is a recent development and are all like “she’s a teenager now, ha ha”

Mine brother in craft, her first day on the server when Wilbur told her not to run away again she said “are you testing me?”

And later that same day Quackity said he didn’t speak Spanish and she just said “learn”

#maybe it’s gotten somewhat more prominent over time but she has ALWAYS been like this my dude #qsmp #qsmp tallulah #an original post? on MY qsmp sideblog? it's more likely than you think

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purgemarchlockdown · 2 months

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Hm...

#not to be really clearly be someone with Issues on the murder prison sideblog but I've never been this deep in a community before #I always sort of rest on the sides #I still do to some extent really #so I'm just kinda waiting to be attacked #if that makes sense?#like #I feel like a fraud who's tricking people into believing that im not a fraud #and once people find out im actually a stupid horrible person I'll be chased out into the woods #...god is this why I keep on getting Kazui in those quizzes?#but like- you guys have stuck around for this much of my ramblings but how much more? When do I Start being annoying and pretentious?#has it already started and I just havent realized?#in three months will I wake up to a callout post for something I never realized was a problem?#I dont know...#vent

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bonefall · 11 months

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do clan cats call humans twolegs? in your latest post they did but its been kinda unclear

Honestly, I find the way that the books use twolegs a bit annoying. They're around humans constantly and they're not even the only animal with only two legs (BEHOLD A MAN throws a plucked finch). They MUST have a word for humans. Especially with the idea of a translation, you know?

It kinda reminds me of, "Did you know that German doesn't even have a word for windshield? Yeah! They call it a windschutzscheibe which means windscreen haha!" <- Clueless

So the word in Clanmew for a human is Yoshenp! Directly translated, it's "Half-leg" or "Twoleg" but like Wooyass (mousebrain/stupidhead), you can translate it more accurately as just "human."

They also tend to combine 'Yoshenp' onto things, because Clanmew likes to make new words out of contractions. So a lot of human-related words end up starting with "Yo".

#Ratha's Creature actually has a great way of balancing out weird 'translations'#I've been meaning to point it out on the sideblog but as always got sidetracked #But the prose will actually first use the real word for a thing and then swap over to the word the Named are using #So for example when Ratha and whats his face are eating crayfish #It starts off with 'crayfish' and then swaps over to 'river-bug'#So you aren't totally lost like what happens in WC every time they go into town #Clanmew

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aroanthy · 1 month

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being gay and aromantic is wild because people will accuse you of hating gay people because you (checks notes) wish people would be a little more critical of romance as a patriarchal structure. the thing is that rgu literally does this, it examines and interrogates how romance is a patriarchal structure. every time i talk about aromanticism in rgu people get very upset about that, as though aromanticism impedes queerness— i did not realise we were still doing exclusionism so bare faced. every time i talk about aromanticism, people get upset. im not even talking about it in relation to the show, instead making a general throwaway post about the weight that people afford anything that deals in Romance, and i get told that rgu is a romance and i should cry about it. like. what? rgu made me realise i was aromantic. i was already gay and that gave me the final piece of the puzzle.

to be gay and aromantic does not mean you Just Have Friends (? what does this even mean, let’s unpack this statement at a later date): to be gay and aromantic means myriad things for myriad people. it means queer sex, it means queer connections that aren’t defined as ‘romantic’, it means queer attraction, it means queer understanding. nothing about this devalues romantic queerness, though i must say that every time i post about aromanticism someone has to qualify my words with a statement about how romance is cool too. and sure, it is, but you can maybe understand how that’s exhausting when you actually want a meaningful conversation about your identity. anyway aromantic people i love you aromantic people and gay people i love you gay people (i am both. godbless goodnight)

#it’s funny bc when i was a small baby i got sucked into an exclusionist wormhole #so im perfectly familiar with shit people say about aromantics #rgu helped me years after id already unlearnt that shit by pushing me to see something id been neglecting for forever #i watched 32. ‘oh im aromantic’. finished the show for the first time. got into a relationship two days later #put of dealing with that realisation until an entire year later #now it’s been three slutty years of being happy #and im making this post because i AM happy #i love being aromantic and i love being gay and i love being both of those things #i want to talk about it always. i want people to understand the ways you can experience things if you open yourself up to them #but you know #this isn’t so much my utena sideblog as it is the sideblog to Me guy who has only seen utena #my identity is like at least 70% utena. and i love it. and i have never struggled to love it #it’s everything to me. gah anyway swagever LOVE AND LIGHT FOREVER ❤️❤️❤️❤️#dais.txt #dais talks aspec

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kellystar321 · 11 months

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@rhinoyo MY BELOVED LEMMY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! lots of love!! <33

#LEM HAPPY BIRTHDAY <3 sorry this is so late! coloring took more time than i thought it would hfjkh <33 #i hope your birthday has been wonderful though!! <33 ive been wanting to draw art of you and your f/os for a while now <3 #mostly lemproms (i have so many attempted drafts hekjdh) im glad you have so many characters who love you <33 #all of your s/i's are so fcking cute i love their designs <3 i hope all of the s/i's match the f/o's correctly :'> <333 #i love you so much!! always wishing you well; always hoping you're having a good day <3 you deserve so much joy <33 #its been so delightful seeing you update a bit more on your life on your sideblog and im always so happy to read what you have to say <3 #i hope the future brings you brighter days and lovely moments and all the happiness life can provide <33 #sprinkling snowflakes and wizard sparkles upon you <33 ily ily ily!!! <33

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sparagmosenthusiast · 4 months

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Normalcy is setting up a secret altar for Dionysus at 1.20 am

#new year new me i guess. fuck it I've been interested in this guy since i was 7 its time i listen to myself #i keep worrying that trying to connect with a pagan god might be stupid but in my heart i know it isnt #my last year has been a constant religious crisis and Dionysus is the god that ive always felt most connected with #i dont know why im making a sideblog to even express this.i just want someone to listen I guess.i wanna listen to myself #dionysus #hellenic polytheism #helpol

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raayllum · 1 year

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My god I bet you'll be the first one to hate the show once it hits the voltron downfall

i was in the vld fandom for 2.5 years and my favourite character was shiro. i don't think anyone who wasn't and who had a different fave can even begin to conceptualize the cluster fuck that was voltron. i don't think any show can even come close to the disaster that was voltron because they 1) broke every bit of their own purposefully established lore, 2) played into albeism and misogynoir to an absurd degree, and 3) did not know how to balance its ensemble cast, regularly sidelined its characters of colour to prop up a white boy's leadership arc, and by virtue of the way the story was structured, certain characters (like hunk, pidge) were completely stagnated for 6/7 and 5/7 seasons of the show because very few characters had over arching arcs and the ones that did took multiple seasons to make any real progress with.

This meant that there's very few seasons, partially due to the chopped up quality of 6-7 episodes > 13, and even then, where you can say "this character Changed." If anything stapling the seasons back together actually makes the cohesion worse planning wise, since S3 (aka where they broke the lore and when I almost quit the show) starts with Keith being made the new leader and if you include S4 in that, he leaves halfway through the season to do a completely different task. And I hated his leadership arc, but like - it's objectively poorly written, good god.

And I had a bad feeling about Voltron from episode 1 of season 2 because I felt like they weren't taking Allura's emotional continuity into account, and called every bit of bad writing S7 and S8 would have months before it happened, because those seasons were the result of 1) non sensical lore breaking and 2) scrambling for the half-assed plot to cover it up.

So TDP would have to sideline Callum and make N'than the new mage character, kill off Rayla and Ezran with zero lead up, and so much more to even come close (probably with some take of "Viren was 100% right to abuse Soren" offered completely uncritically as well). Amaya would lose all ability to be a general for no reason. Every single queer and/or disabled character would be brutally killed off/tortured repeatedly on screen. Don't even get me started on VLD's clone plotline and the druids, in which Haggar is revealed to be Altean, she and the druids practice Altean alchemy, and therefore they should also be Altean. And not only are the druids never explained, but the character who was tortured and experimented on for a year by them is passed over in fighting them to give spotlight to a character who slashes a sword at one of them one (1) time back in s1. I shit you not

AKA to give a sense of what TDP turned VLD would actually look like, please refer to this post

I would take three more season fours easily over any of that bullshit, and TDP would still be an infinitely better show than even TLOK

#i had a vld sideblog you cannot possibly Imagine #the shit that i saw. the shit i went through #good grief #thanks for asking #anti vld #non tdp #anonymous #this might be the weirdest way an anon has tried to flex on me and failed #anyway shiro should've always been black paladin and i'll die on this hill #also everyone deserved better but Especially allura good god

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usareiis · 20 days

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#happy birthday <3333 #i picked moon just in terms of how the moon is going to be involved in something wild for his birthday #the eclipse has probably been forseen for a while just like the blue moon from his funeral but it does feel like it's for him a little bit #i said this on my sideblog in tags too but it also feels really good that taemin and jinki are getting fresh starts right around...#...jonghyun's birthday bc it feels like that is an extra blessing from him for their new starts somehow #i am also always saying this but i sincerely hope that somehow someway he can feel all of the love that still exists for him #especially on a day like today i hope he feels somehow how happy so many people are that he was born and shared his presence with us <3 #music #Spotify

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haunted-hijinxer · 2 years

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Some NPC talk came up for BatIM Cthulhu group's Minecraft AU, including Peter! Peter is actually not a player in this AU, he’s just a normal villager! Well, maybe not quite normal anymore…

Peter got jostled out of the routine of his village, and realized there was a whole world out there. Now he's a cartographer, exploring unknown areas, making maps of them, and sharing that knowledge with others. He’s an old acquaintance of Jack’s, who frequently travels for his trading and can put a reliable map to good use. Peter and Jack have even explored together on occasion, and when Peter found a stray cat hanging around the village, he ended up giving her to Jack to protect him from creepers.

No longer being quite a normal villager also means that Peter doesn't always react predictably when things like pillager raids happen. He might have gotten more in the thick of things than he should have, and drew the attention of a raiding evoker despite the best efforts of Henry, the village's self-proclaimed(?) protector. Peter suffered a strange magical mishap, but ended up with latent vex traits, the sometimes-intangible creatures envokers summon to attack intruders.

When the vex traits are active, Peter can sometimes walk through solid blocks and even manifest a ghostly sword should the occasion call for it. This is, however, at the cost of taking damage over time like a summoned vex, so it’s a trick best reserved for emergencies. Once he is able to activate them on purpose, he might actually be able to help Henry when the village, or their friends, are in danger.

(His outfit is based on an in-game villager Shazz found! Nice and warm for living in a chilly high altitude village, and it even has a hat! I am very invested in interpreting this as one of those warm ones with the ear flappies you can pin up.)

#minecraft #minecraft AU #Peter Sunstram #To be fair I feel like Peter has always been fighty in spirit #HE JUST USUALLY HAS NO WEAPONS OR EXPERIENCE ACTUALLY ACTING ON THIS IN A COMBAT CAPACITY #Anyhow I am a sucker for daring to break away from your pre-determined fate tropes CAN YOU TELL #Hopefully I can be forgiven for posting a CoC NPC reskinned to Minecraft on my BatIM sideblog fdkdfgkfkdgf #IT'S A CIRCUITOUS CONNECTION BUT IT'S THERE #thren art #thren posts #corrupted world minecraft AU #Still wild to think that apparently this is the AU where Pete in fact has one single fighty bone in his body.

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