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1ddiscourseoftheday · 5 years

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Tues 15 Oct

SiriusFM urges Louis fans to listen tomorrow morning for, we're told, Big News! A "SURPRISE of EPIC PROPORTIONS" they said... then immediately spoiled their own big surprise posting, "Louis makes his return to the [show] next week for a hang and performance!" Listen to win chances to attend they say. He has a second US radio spot (that we know of) scheduled with JoJo Wright. Louis posted a selfie yesterday and registered We Made It as well as a news-to-us song called Perfect Now. Is Perfect Now a new song? The presence of cowriters familiar from 1D era but not since have some wondering if it was written a long time ago. We Made It, Habit, and Don't Let It Break Your Heart, on the other hand, all seem to have been written in Feb 2018. A Walls page was added to Wikipedia with a release date and an obviously made up track listing, I usually try to hedge my bets to avoid looking the fool (yes I know it doesn't actually work thank you) but friends, this is a fan edit. He already told us many of those songs were not on the album and if that last one is a Louis song title I'll admit defeat and pack it all in but I REALLY don't think so. A different and equally made up Walls track listing can be found on Genius.

Harry continues to do very low key Lights Up engagement- He follow! He like! He tweet congratulating someone who got a job! He... give love advice via DM? may have blocked someone for shit talking Louis? Huh. Anyway, the love advice: "Be honest and vulnerable, that's what makes you feel human. And feeling human, the good and the bad, is what life is." The relationship guru himself was seen out at a John Mayer concert in London last night. Official Charts posts about 'Lights Up by Happy Styles'[sic] with a picture of Harry looking a little too happy: that wet pic is already suggestive enough without adding a giant arrow pointing up from below the waist honestly. Unnecessary. Better reporting from Paper magazine who wrote an article about "the Queer Brand Harry Styles Wore in 'Lights Up'" and it's not even about Harris Reed, Harry is truly out there supporting all kinds of queer content creators.

Niall tells us we'll get a Spotify video for NTMY soon with preview clips over the next few days and posted a slew of pretty portrait shots, with the caption 'only getting started': photog Christian Tierney posted a couple of the pics to his personal with a caption referencing Irish politics/Brexit. In today's episode of 'Niall explains things' he labels a couple of the pics "hunk looking out over a radiant skyline" and "hunk leans against slatted wood fixture outside an LA radio station." He says the 36 in the NTMY video is not a clue about the album release date. BFF Lewis Capaldi chatted about the song they wrote together ("oh is he talking about that now? That's great, let's release it, I'd like to make some money") and says they recorded some kind of friend challenge thing together but that it was too much of a mess to use. Niall ribs him in a comment and he answers "not nice to meet ya." Meanwhile Niall continues to push us to promote his song, with multiple tweets a day urging fans to engage in activities to "get it moooovviinn up them charts!" and much boosting of fan promo activities. The "let's go team" is nice and all but sideyes are increasing as we go into day three of this barrage. Did he see Lewis pull off his America's Sweetheart campaign and think he'd do the same? If so I got two words for ya Niall: More. Costumes.

"Date night!" writes Liam on a post of Maya. She's lounging and checking her phone in a hoodie in what looks to be a mid range hotel, some date (okay fine that sounds like a great date but you know what I mean) but the pap pics from earlier in the evening are fancier. He tells us we'll be getting an acoustic version of Stack It Up tomorrow, hot on the heels of the live acoustic SIU video the other day, and the Dec 6 date for the album is being reported by multiple retail outlets who got the same order sheet we saw last week. Will the Christmas song be on it? Is this a Christmas release? And he has a podcast interview (Jessie Ware's Kitchen Manners) which won't be out until tomorrow but is already making quite a stir. According to the tabs he says that Cheryl and him broke up five months before they said they did and faked it for the public in the interim; Cheryl's people deny that the podcast says that (and claim that the Sun, specifically, made it up as an 'agenda driven story once again.') We'll find out tomorrow! He is also quoted as saying, "We were definitely overworked. I had no personal life, I learnt nothing about myself. I remember getting to therapy and the guy was like, 'what do you like to do?' I hadn’t got a clue. I just lived so long as this reclusive pop star who was afraid of people, who just stayed inside all the time. I needed to stop, definitely. It would have killed me."

Liam is rumored to be on BBC1 ‘The One Show’ this Friday and we're told HQ footage from Madrid (Liam and Louis' performances!) will be posted soon!

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jlf23tumble · 5 years

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Agree so much with your post about the teams and fan engagement ! And love the way you articulated all of that. Although now I definitely am interested in knowing what your notes about the specificity of each team/artist cause I feel like they'd be fascinating to read. Hope you'll post them some day, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us ! 😊

Awwww, that’s very kind! It’s definitely head canon city, I litcherally have ZERO clue what goes on behind the scenes (and I can’t stress this enough, none of us do), so this’ll look hilariously dated when we find out that blah woof was true all along, lmao (me @ myself, thinking of some random Grimshaw interviews from last fall, oh, bless). Let’s dig in!!

For those of you who just stumbled upon this post, it’s related to the one I made last night about how I think the management teams of all these men (mid-20s means = you’re a man, not a boy) are not, in fact, sabotaging them. They negotiate a lot of tricky interconnected arrangements that none of us are privy, to, plus they’re at least trying to achieve the goals their clients are going for. And they’re doing it—the trick is these goals are highly individual and not 100% sensical (at least given our own view from the afternoon, Arctic Monkeys ref, holllllllah!!!).

In addition, these goals constantly shift, as does the music industry itself—I drive my own self loony when I lurk on blogs that are seemingly broadcasting from 2012, confused by why xx’s team is so “terrible” because they aren’t throwing good money after bad to get on a radio playlist, or why they haven’t announced yy “properly,” as if they’re being paid to worry about this level of shit (which fires me up on about five levels, deep breaths in, deep breaths out). I’m much nosier about the signals we’re getting when we hear them talk in their beautifully media-trained way about their musical interests, when we get some of that sweet, sweet fan service with a Gallagher or a Capaldi, when we get that heads up about who’s attending what concert, stuff like that. These signals don’t necessarily indicate future collaborations, but they DO indicate what kind of image these guys want to have, the kind of music they want the public to associate them with.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself…their personalities and goals at the moment are all so vastly different, and I truly do love seeing how their teams are workin’ it accordingly. Again, please @ god, don’t @ me…opinions, massively unpopular opinions, dead ahead!

* Zayn. My read on Zayn is that he enjoys the creative process, loves writing and singing, digs collabing with people, but he doesn’t seem to give two shits about the biz side (and why should he? that’s called living the dream at this particular point in his career). His website recently added “tour,” which EYEBALL EYEBALL, but he doesn’t seem to be all that interested in putting himself back out on stage or into radio/print/etc. anytime soon, and again, why should he? His numbers are HUGE without pushing himself through the anxiety-provoking churn he endured for four years, so there’s no real drive for him to do any promo if he doesn’t want to (see: the netflix-like binge dump of Icarus Falls, which could be “sabotage,” or it could just be, “fineeeeeeee, here’s some stuff for you, enjoy”). What other artist gifts his fans with gorgeous covers of such a wide variety of songs that indicate he’s more interested in sharing them than selling them. Accordingly, his fan interactions seem fairly pure and not all that promo-y: he has a keen interest in fanart, he’s done some fan pop-ups/listening parties that are pretty low-key and *seemingly* fan-focused, and recently (with zero anything to really promote), he’s been posing for cute pics and chatting with randos on the streets of NYC. I recently read that his mgmt team is no longer with him, but that sort of folds into my feeling that he’s not pursuing anything biz-wise, hence no need to jump through those particular hoops (I think he’s also struggled with a lot of demons, so yeah, why add one more). Could he be adrift? Maybe, but the next guy is the posterman for lack of focus….

* Liam. Honestly, I worry about Liam most of all. His post-1D career seems very much adrift, and I like to joke that he’s giving me that tell-all about the D one sentence at a time, but goddamn, are people listening? The struggles with alcohol, the lack of focus on every level, the reliance on his dad’s career advice (which more clearly reflects his dad’s financial class, background, and history than it does Liam’s), and the overall confusion about look, sound, and direction also flow back directly into his team. I get the feeling that they aren’t sure what to do because LIAM isn’t sure what to do or what he wants, so they follow in his wake. He’s agreeable to a fault, so seeing him at a meet-and-greet at an HMV in Birmingham last week felt like a step back into 2010 for no real reason, just like hearing that he was more or less coerced into full nude photoshoots for an underwear ad (the decisions to say yes to both of those—who’s steering this ship? If it’s Liam, he needs to tell the team his overall goal, so they can plot a course he and his fans can follow; if it’s the team, ditto). Like Niall, Liam’s actually pretty good at the SM game: lots of selfies, snapchat filters, outfits, gym service, twitter interactions. But generally speaking, his promo is confusing, and that’s probably because there isn’t much *to* promote at this point, other than a mix of collabs, clothing endorsements, spon con, horse farms, and an album that’s always on the horizon. This might be tied to the general post-1D jolt they all went through, like a plane coming off autopilot and into the hands of someone who’s just learning how to fly it. Zayn debuted at number one, so his bump wasn’t as harsh, but the others are slowly, steadily finding their footing after taking some time to find themselves and their sound, releasing songs/albums, performing (or in Louis’s case, going through unspeakable tragedy). Liam’s still adrift…and somewhat admittedly, which is kind of telling in its own way. Just know that my nervousness on his behalf ratchets up every time he feels the urge to assure us all that he’s happy.

* Niall. Truly the one following the original 1D template, right down to working with most of the same people but with more of the overall control in his hands instead of a faceless management squad. Of any of them, he seems the most ambitious, the most scientific about the sound he’s after and how he’s gonna get there. His promo is a mix of new and traditional—radio shows, talk shows, podcasts, special events, twitter interactions with fans, twitter interactions with entertaining celebrities—and it’s all hustle hustle hustle, build build build, as if he were a new ingenue instead of coming up hard on solo album number two. He’s explicit in his goals, which is refreshing, but it means he walks a weird line with fans: on one hand, he’s done with their bullshit, get ready to get rekt if you start commenting on his boring food seasoning or home décor. But on the other hand, he fully recognizes how much he needs them, which is why we get so many peeks into his “normal” life (yet zero percent of his actual personal life). It’s also probably why the blatant tweets of the last two days seem so jarring to me (I might be alone on this one, but I’m not a fan of directives in general, and asking me to call radio stations on behalf of a rich white man to become even richer just rubs me the wrong way, same with asking me to stream stuff to get you to number one…you’ve been there, buddy, how about you calm down and build some character at number 51). And speaking of calming down, it does fascinate me that both Niall and Louis namecheck Taylor Swift as someone who gets the whole fandom push/pull thing right, so watching them try to reverse-engineer her secrets is fun. Louis nails it (that hotspot treasure hunt: chef’s kiss), but Niall’s heavy-handed easter egg dump in NTMY, she would never!! I think Niall’s team needs to watch “Calm Down” about five more times before they try that again.

* Louis. I think Louis honestly has an AMAZING team in place, and they’re all clearly on his side, which makes for a refreshing change. Like Niall, he has publicly praised Taylor Swift for how she engages with her fans, but I think he’s missing a key point: she doesn’t let her fans dictate strategy, and I HOPE that’s the case for Louis, too. His old team *was* shit, so yeah, encouraging people to do fan projects to get the word out was a good idea, but turning that spigot off to let a good (paid) team step in and take over has been, uh, challenging. He’s dealt with more than his fair share of personal tragedy, but every time he gets some momentum going, it feels like something bts pushes him back off track, and he tends to keep it private, which only makes his hardest-core fans scream “sabotage.” Rightly so, he’s focusing on his personal life, and rightly so, his team is giving him the space to do that, even when it costs cash money and throws a lot of shit seriously for a loop. It makes my heart soar to see the potential of what his team can do/is doing, how much space he’s being allowed to process what he needs to process. Weirdly, that’s an unpopular opinion, and a lot of people want to indulge in an angst wank fest where Louis’s the victim of a terrible team that won’t DO anything (nevermind the fact that he’s probably ASKED them not to do anything), so they undertake a tremendous amount of performative unpaid labor that ends up being counterproductive on just about every front. Even worse, most of them can’t seem to process the fact that losing your mum is a blow, losing your SISTER is a blow, juggling other siblings or close friends handling some serious demons of their own in the aftermath of all of *that* is a blow, let alone handling your own personal coping mechanisms, nope, they want Louis to release release release, perform perform perform, c’mon, what’s holding him back, he *said* he wanted to release an album this year, there’s “no reason” for a delay, gotta be his shitty team, free him. It drives me ‘round the bend because it’s the same talk from late last year, you know, when we later found out that at least one family member was losing a fight with drug addiction. Louis’s fan engagement/promo is therefore hella fraught: he has to balance LouisTM on twitter (Mr. Donny, he’s hard, mate), his werk IG posts, and his constant edging because nobody can remember or trust that he’s got this, that multiple things are in play. But he also knows his fanbase, knows that it’s resistant to any kind of change, so I hope he pushes through and stays true to what he wants to do. I was really encouraged with his last promo round because he seems to have narrowed in on a something solid, he’s got a plan, and it’s not, “hey mr dj, put my record on,” it’s getting his fans to trust that he and his team know what the fuck they’re doing, and spoiler alert, it ain’t radio, but go ahead and keep pissing off djs by sending angry tweets their way. (Related: why is it so bad to avoid the radio when all of us admit that radio music is garbage? Is it because it’s more about you than him? Much to think about.)

* Harry. My very favorite head canon is that Harry is Jeff’s nightmare client: what was perfection at first because the Azoffs are old-school promo all the way (no SM, baby, gimme that sweet, sweet paper), and that dovetailed nicely with post-1D Harry, but it quickly veered into mulish teeth pulling. Low profile can quickly spin into no profile, and that really doesn’t work too well when you’re trying to sell sell sell, even if your brand is Harry StylesTM. HS1 and Dunkirk in their own separate ways worked VERY hard to push past the still-persistent way the general public views Harry as boybander Harry Styles, or more accurately, former boybander Harry Styles who dated Taylor Swift (if you venture out and ask someone who’s not a fan), but what I love about Harry is that much like Zayn, he doesn’t seem to be too bothered by all that. Sure, he’s ambitious, he wants to challenge himself and do things, but he’s no Niall Horan. He’s put in his time! If he gets a number one, then cool, but he’s not gonna chase it. And this is where Harry’s team really reflects his goals and energy: sure, they want him to do some promo (that “Do” tweet, the entire bit about the fan in Australia and Harry Lambert’s follow, goddddd, I loved it, petty Harry, resigned Jeff), but they clearly aren’t forcing him. He drops a song that makes a HUGE splash, and the follow-up is…liking some tweets and going to a John Mayer concert (not a John Mayer fan, so that wouldn’t be my first choice, but I respond to the zero fucks given about the whole thing). The music industry has changed a LOT in just two years, so it’s kind of cool to see team Harry pivoting a bit, seeing more SM interaction, the kindness generator, etc., but that said, the team takes their cues from him, and he clearly doesn’t want to do a whole promo circuit beyond persons a, b, and c, and magazine R, F, and A. Does it make sense to have Rob Sheffield write a profile about Stevie Nicks-blessed shroom-eater Harry Styles when his new song sounds like the Zarry combo of my dreams? NOPE, but that’s okay, Harry wanted to talk to Rob, so that’s what happened. The new song is more streaming friendly, and thank CHRIST, a lot less crusty white dude stuck in the ‘70s, so I can only hope that the rest of the album is thus, but we shall see! We’ll also see if Harry’s fan engagement shifts any further into the active zone…so far, it’s been “I’m gonna follow some larries, like these fun generator posts, check out a few dads” and staged photo ops with the same familiar faces, but I think he’s dealing with his own major bts issues as well (album delayed at least twice; that entire stalking situation). I still contend the album’s coming in the next few weeks, so it’ll be interesting to see if/how any additional promo rolls out in this new world order post-gryles landscape, how many interviews he’ll do, but I like that there’s a strategy that seems less stodgy…kudos to the new SM team, at least!!

Oh man, that got really long! Hope you enjoyed, and YES, opinions opinions opinions, and they’ll be stupid in about three weeks’ time, thanks for coming to my already dated buzzfeed article

#so many long-winded opinions #one direction #yeah #and shout out to kim for always checking my work!!!

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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years

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Thoughts on scripted?

hey nonnie, so i’m so so sorry i kept you waiting for like four days for this but i just really needed some time to properly process and collect my thoughts (cause i have a lot on this) and take my time to get them down in a coherent way, i still feel like it’s a bit jumbled and unclear at times but i tried my best to explain my thoughts as best i could. i hope it’s sufficient...

My Thoughts on Scripted

so i wanna preface this by making it clear to everyone who may read this that this is strictly my own interpretation of things and my own opinion on what zayn’s trying to convey in this song. personally, i think this song is very much about public images, narratives, and stunting, and sticking it out through all of that, so that’s the direction/theme that a lot of my interpretations of the lyrics in this song are gonna lean towards. you don’t have to agree. in fact, if you disagree that’s fine and i welcome and any all rational and fair/polite discussion on different interpretations of the song and certain verses or lines within it. i’m in no way trying to convince anyone to see anything a certain way (and my own interpretations and thoughts/opinions on this may even evolve or change with time), but i was asked by this nonnie to share my thoughts (currently) on the song and so that’s what i’m doing, and if anyone has a problem with any of the opinions or interpretations stated here i just ask that you address me about it respectfully :)

ok now onto the song analysis:

Blurry TV screens

Fuzzy broken scenes

Finding words don't have flow

Blurry TV screens

Fuzzy broken scenes

Hold her close finding love

so this verse to me seems like it could be meant to have a double meaning, as in 1) the scenes or roles they [he and liam and/or the other boys] have to play out (i.e. stunts, fake dates, scripted interviews, etc. that they feel like they’re playing out like a scene in a movie/tv show - mgmt telling them hold her hand this way, hug/kiss at this angle so it looks more intimate, ok now let’s take this pic/video and then we’ll do another angle; making sure to only show pieces of the story like scenes and only the pieces and angles that fit the narrative they wanna sell, etc.) and/or 2) the time they get to themselves which often feels like only snapshots that go by too quickly and are like a blur/fuzzy in their minds (stolen moments together in between stunt outings and shows and things where they have to perform/are expected to put on and keep up their usual act for the cameras before they can go back to being themselves again/have some time alone together to just be again, etc.), and the “finding words don’t have flow” part could mean because he doesn’t know how to talk about it or express how he feels about it cause he just has so many conflicting feelings (or even just that he can’t talk about it cause he’s not allowed)

Hearts don't feel the same

And the names we like to say

Change with time and age

so this seems to clearly be referring to feelings changing - though not necessarily in a bad way, maybe just maturing and growing together and changing as people, as in the infatuation is gone and you love each other differently than you did when you first got together but there’s still so much unconditional love there it’s just a different (like a more serious or maybe even a deeper) kind of love, or could be referring to friendships (whether between him and the boys or other people from his personal life) and those friendships changing or even fading with time, or even feelings about a situation changing over time; it could also be taken a bit more literally too of course as well and have a negative meaning as in we don’t love each other anymore/don’t feel the same way about each other anymore/aren’t as close anymore (again whether between friends or a romantic partner, or even not feeling the same way about a situation anymore, etc.), it’s all up to interpretation i guess and how you choose to see it but i think it can be thought of in lots of different ways

for the names thing i think this can also have multiple meanings, like maybe it could be referring to names he and liam and/or the boys call each other (friendly nick names, pet names as a couple, etc.) and/or the names they’re made to mention/promo in interviews, like how some periods we would get a bunch of louis and zayn mentioning each other or niall and zayn mentioning each other lilo or niam mentioning each other, etc. and then other times they’d be promo-ing other random people (like liam mentioning charlie puth every 2 seconds for a while, etc.)

[fyi i’ll be skipping over any repeating refrains/verses since there’s no real need to re-hash things over again or take up unnecessary space with lines that have already been talked about]

So I

I don't wanna say what's scripted

Whether you are or aren't with it

I know what I need

'Cause I

I don't wanna say what's scripted

Whether you are or aren't with it

I know what I need

this part i think is pretty obvious (and i think a lot of people agree) that it’s most likely referring to having to say scripted lines in interviews and things of that sort and that’s why he avoids it so much, he doesn’t wanna be forced or used to sell the narratives they want him to sell and say the company lines they want him to say, he “knows what he needs” and that’s to stay away as much as he can from engaging in all the bs

but again i think it could also have a double meaning in that he maybe doesn’t wanna say or do generic things either and this can be in regards to life in general or more specifically with his romantic partner, like he doesn’t wanna say or do what he’s expected to say/do, he wants to be different and to do things differently/do things in his own unique way (in life in general, but also maybe in his relationship like finding other ways to say “i love you” or to show his love, finding other ways to be together that don’t necessarily follow “traditional” paths which also could be a nod them being in a [conventionally-speaking] “untraditional” relationship, which a lot of people would consider a same-sex interracial interfaith relationship between two huge self-proclaimed dorks lmao to be)

i think it’s important to note that he also includes a snippet of an interview shortly after this part in which he talks about sex not being as meaningful anymore with this generation and how that was a part of what he was trying to convey on ‘let me.’ which begs the question why? why draw attention to this specific interview (one that references ‘let me’) out of all the interviews he could’ve chosen? why draw attention back to such a romantic song (and to the idea of meaningful sex and meaningful relationships) in the middle of this dark part of the album that seems to (imo) mostly be about the negative sides of the industry? we’ll get back to my theory on that in a moment but in the meantime…

there’s also the fact that the melody of song is very somber through most of the song and i think that’s intentional because it kind of serves to evoke the pain and sadness he feels over his situation and i think he wants the listeners to feel and understand that as well and to understand why, to understand all the little things about his whole situation that make him so sad and the main thing seems to be that he has to “say what’s scripted” when he doesn’t want to and isn’t truly allowed to be himself or say or do what he wants as much as he would like. BUT—here’s where we get back to my theory on why he suddenly calls our attention back to such a romantic song and to the idea of meaningful relationships

not long after this point in the song (after the chorus repeats again) the melody suddenly changes, all of a sudden it feels less somber (at least to me), i would almost even characterize it as kind of tentatively hopeful/tentatively optimistic if i had to put a label on it, my theory is that he’s setting for the stage for what comes next, getting us ready for a change in tune (literally but also figuratively as in a change in theme) and then we get this

You'd still remember my eyes

Even if the Men In Black flashed

Their light into your eyes

For the second time this night

It feels right when it's, only you and I

so this seems to be a nod to a huge recurring theme on this album which is this idea of always remembering each other/always being fated to find each other (through space and time and making it together through all kinds of obstacles, etc.)—aka SOUL MATES—which so many songs on this album seem to reference over and over and over again…and which as an aside always reminds me of that moment in an interview (sorry i tried but i couldn’t find a link to it) where i think they’re talking about what would have happened in an alternative universe/timeline if they hadn’t gone on txf and weren’t famous or something like that and zayn says he’s not sure if he would’ve met liam cause “i don’t tend to do much in me own time” and liam’s like “but you might have” and zayn’s like “yeah but maybe” not and Liam Not Having Any of It Payne insists “but then again you might have”

but anyway all that to say that i think it’s clear by this recurring theme that zayn’s definitely since come around to the idea lol and has even adopted him for himself and decided to make into a running theme on the album and not only that but clearly he’s come to believe that the romantic partner (i.e. liam) he keeps alluding to in so many songs on the “icarus” side is his soulmate and they can make it through anything

[but again, as with a lot of the other lines in this song (and on this album in general) i think there’s a small chance this verse could also be have a double meaning as well, possibly as a reference to the fans and how mgmt/1dhq has repeatedly tried to basically do a madagasar penguins ‘you didn’t see anything’ move on us and act like the shit we know we saw never happened by panic-deleting videos and releasing bs articles and manipulating the boys’ twitters; it’s a rather flimsy theory i know, esp given that all the other lines surrounding it suggest that it’s more likely in reference to a personal relationship than a more general reference that could be applied to fans but it’s just something that’s been in the back of my mind ever since i first heard the song so just putting it out there]

Oh, you and I

do i even need to say anything about this?

he repeats it five times which…interesting number first off 😏 (and also separates out the other four from the first one which again - interesting)…but also makes it pretty evident that this is a line that’s being very much emphasized, that has serious meaning, that he wants you to pay attention to, that much is obvious not only in the repetition but the fact that it deviates from the composition of the rest of the song - the music changes/falls away to just a very simple (piano?) melody and beat, the focus is mostly on just his voice and it’s the ever enigmatic “you” that he’s singing to (that also seems to be a running theme on both albums, as he often—not necessarily always but often—seems to differentiate between this “you” and other people/pronouns/things referred to in his songs) in a slightly sped up but very similar style to the style of the harmonies in you & i, a song in which he had very notable harmonies with liam (that’s possibly regarded as the most unequivocal ziam song) that they often romantically and openly serenaded each other with (like specifically turned to each other just to sing to each other), that liam said was his favorite song off the midnight memories album, that liam got a line from (“i figured it out”) permanently tattooed on his arm right below the feather that was widely believed to be the missing feather from zayn’s then chest tattoo (and which many believed being with zayn was the “thing” he figured out), a song that liam cried during the first few times they performed it without zayn, and a song that’s about nothing be able to come between two soulmates people in love who are destined to be together and that clearly had a lot of special meaning to them both (and that the fandom knows and that i’m sure they also know is widely regarded as a ziam song because as liam said on many occasions they see what we say about them, they know what goes on and what we think about the stuff they do/say) - all of that leads me to believe that this was a calculated and very obvious/deliberate move by zayn to emphasize this part in the song so clearly, a [huge] red herring if you will, and i would argue that it has even more significance not only just because of all that’s mentioned above but also because of the fact that he chose to include these lines in a song on the “falls” side of the album, the side that’s supposed to be the more negative/dark side (and the side that i believe is largely representative of his feelings and experience with fame and the entertainment industry). which to me suggests that the overarching message that he’s trying to get across/convey with this song is basically that everything may be shit with how things are being run and the stuff he (and the other boys) are made to do and say but he’s always gonna go his own way and regardless of what gets thrown at them he and liam (and the rest of ot5) are gonna make it through together

#asks #anons #scripted #my thoughts #i hope this makes some amount of sense to some people #and doesn't come off just as just an incoherent mess #and all over the place nonsensical ramblings lol

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louehvolution · 6 years

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It’s impossible to fit in one post all the evidence toward Louis putting his heart into his album, and his aspirations to release it and tour it.

That there was an album, almost completed, is undeniable. If you don’t believe his own words, and the snippets we were so lucky to get, then look back at The Observer (Tracks from Tomlinson’s solo record have been playing inside the studio [...]), Steve (”All I can tell you is [his songs] make me feel something incredibly human”), and, only a month ago, Liam.

I cannot fathom how anyone who ever listened or watched his interviews during the scant promo he got, could even contemplate the idea that he has no interest, or a casual interest at best, in a solo career—that he would ever choose to launch solo—and he seemed all too aware of what kind of support he could expect from his label and team, but he still had his heart set on releasing his album; it seems clear he was under the impression he would be able to do so, even if it was in less than ideal circumstances—and then abandon it to be a judge on a reality television show—after seven months inactive, after no promo in the US, and being blacklisted from radio in the UK with his first single that wasn’t a collaboration. To listen to his music, and watch his music videos, the thought and care put into them, and have the gall to say he doesn’t care or is willing to set it aside for… what exactly?

This will not help him. No one would ever consider that Liam or Niall would need to be a judge on XF to up their recognition. They raised their profile receiving support from their label, from their management, from their peers; they were given opportunities to showcase their talent, and engage and expand with an audience interested in them as musicians... which is what they are. Louis is a musician. To see people even talking about how this stunt trip is strategic to form a connection with the XF audience, as though that is his team doing well by him or something? Where was the effort for him to connect with and build an audience for his music!?

And the Louis we will get in the XF is not Louis. It’s a Louis following a script that will sell the image and narratives played out in the tabloids and stunts through the years—and which never endeared him to the public, did they? Louis is an all too frequent punchline and a punching bag, not a popular, beloved public figure, and he is far from being seing as a credible musician. It will also reinforce the idea of Simon as the benevolent mentor, who is ever so close to Louis. And the idea of the failed member of One Direction. Comparisons are inevitable. OT3 releasing music and touring, while Louis doesn’t [“I knew that when I released this single people would be expecting the album to a certain degree. I wanted to have the bulk of the album done.”], after being forever belittled as an artist and having borne the constant push as the least talented member—he was described in the interview to launch his solo career as a ‘wobbly investment’... Louis himself said he felt he had a bit of a point to prove, that he wanted to prove himself as an artist.

BTY was said to be underperforming in a syndicated article sent out by his team, before they pulled it from radio when it was still climbing in spite of the substandard and minimal promo. MY wasn’t played on UK radio even when they had him in for an interview! He has been set up to be perceived as a failure, and becoming a judge encourages this. More so when he is not doing it on the back of a series of successful singles, an album, a tour… but after months of nothing and every effort made to tank his music and damage his image.

This is not beneficial to his career at all.

We are in 2018. The clock doesn’t restart now, or every time Louis is fucked over, so that the fandom can keep enjoying the headcanons, arguing they are just ‘being positive’ and ‘waiting and hoping for the best’. It’s like being diagnosed with blood poisoning, and at every limb amputated, pretending even if the blood poisoning is eventually cured, it has not caused irreparable damage, will leave scars, and that recovery will be hard, and possibly never complete. And it will take time. Time passes, and cannot be recovered.

While the others get to move forward, Louis is left farther behind. This is the reality. Louis, who was the main songwriter in the band, who was crucial in their developing sound, in fighting for the band One Direction came to be—and therefore in taking all of them to the starting points for their solo careers—is the one who does not get a solo career. They get to reap the rewards, and he gets nothing.

And then there is the fact that this will mean him having to sit and spend time with a man who was instrumental in the abuse he has been subjected to for years. He will have to participate in this monster’s shitshow, knowing all too well and first hand how toxic it is, and how it traps contestants in terrible, exploitative contracts. He will have to act and sell the only thing he has ever really been allowed to sell: his heterosexuality and Simon’s product. And all this while his bandmates have got to release music, do proper promo, tour the world, have modelling campaigns, be involved in different projects like a film, film soundtrack, Pride trainers, etc. How can you conceive that as anything but torture for him?

Louis is a musician, who wants to share his music and perform it. He is not a reality TV personality. He is not a puppet to be played with for fun and then put back on the shelf, or a prop to be used for the convenience and benefit of others. He is a human being. A person, with feelings and dreams. This is his actual life. These are years of his life, this is his day to day, not just steps in some supposed secret master plan toward… what? What are people even thinking all this is leading to? What is supposed to be the goal? What is it supposed to be that Louis is paying for with his life?

Everything taken from him and violated, tainted with the stunts. Nothing that won’t be used against him or for others’ benefit. And this isn’t just any regular job, this is his vocation, his passion—it’s who he is. As a person and artist, his entire being, is being buried and erased in his relentless, violating, isolating, restrictive, humiliating closet, and his outlet, in his music, to be ‘open and vulnerable and real’ to find a sense catharsis, a challenge, excitement, pride and fulfilment, is being denied to him.

There is nothing to celebrate and everything to lament, to grieve, in Louis being a judge at the XF, and his album postponed indefinitely. It’s devastating.

And it’s a twist of the knife that some of his so-called fans, whom he has expressed are a big part of his reason to do this, to whom he bared himself with his songs, to whom he wanted to show his true self so that we could understand him better... whom he hoped would come to see him as a human being, do anything but. Instead ignore everything he has said, all the work he has put in, his abuse and everything he has endured, for the sake of continuing their fun in peace.

Where is the respect for him as an artist? The compassion for him as a human being?

#this is long #mine #still hoping beyond hope that it won't be true. that he won't have to go through that. with all its consequences #that he will get to release his album. at the least #:(#but the response from a part of the fandom... it will stand. regardless #and god. i hope it doesn't come to be

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emulateharry · 7 years

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Story of my life

Chapter 11

A/N Thank you to my dear Alex (@niallandharrymakemestrong) and Mel (@melissas173), I could not do this without your support and superb editing skills. If you are reading this story��please take a moment and give me a like or a comment (all comments are welcome). If you particularly like it, consider reblogging. Thanks!

After a late night celebrating the end of the OTRA tour with Harry and the rest of the band and crew, Kacey was awakened on November first by Harry pressing soft kisses to her eyes, cheeks and finally her lips.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, his voice raspy.

“Mmmm. Is it morning already? What time is it?” she asked sleepily.

“It’s time to celebrate your birthday. Do you have anything special you’d like to do today?” he asked, kissing her temple.

“Hmmm…I think I’d like to…do you,” she said huskily, a crooked smile on her lips.

“I think that can be arranged. Or, perhaps I could do you, hmm?” he smiled at her, one eyebrow raised.

“Why don’t we just do each other?” she suggested diplomatically.

“Good idea,” he trailed off as his mouth found hers.

* Kacey had just finished drying her hair when the smell of coffee hit her. She wandered back into the room to see Harry holding out a cup from Starbucks. She accepted the proffered drink and sighed with satisfaction as she took the first sip. Harry had ordered breakfast and it was set up on the table in the corner of the room. There was fresh fruit, muffins, Devon cream, and poached eggs with smoked salmon and hollandaise on a bed of asparagus. Fresh flowers and several beautifully wrapped packages completed the table.

“Wow…this is wonderful,” Kacey breathed.

“Let’s eat. We have a lot to do today,” Harry said, smiling enigmatically and kissing her cheek.

Kacey allowed him to lead her to the table and sat as he held her chair. He sat next to her and offered her the Devon cream for her muffin. She spread some on and took a bite, eyes closed at the gorgeously smooth, buttery taste.

“Oh, Harry, this is heaven!” she gushed.

Harry took his napkin preparing to wipe the corner of her mouth where a drop of the cream had deposited but then thought better of it and kissed it off instead. Kacey beamed at him and kissed him back.

“Kassidy…stop looking at me like that. I’ve made plans for us today and if you keep that up we’ll never leave this room,” he admonished.

“You started it,” she pretended to grumble, smiling despite herself.

As they finished their breakfast Harry asked eagerly “Ready for presents?”

Kacey smiled at his excitement and placed her napkin on the table. “I’m ready,” she replied, enthusiasm edging into her voice. Harry bought her gifts often; he got so excited giving them to her, like a big kid, and always watched her reaction closely. He brought her something from every city the band played in. His gifts were never overly expensive but they were always thoughtful.

Harry reached for a rectangular package and handed it to her. Kacey tore into the wrapping and pulled out a box. It was an iPhone 6 plus. A tiny twinge of worry nibbled at the back of her neck. This was expensive. This newest model had only been out for about 6 weeks and there were huge waiting lists to get one. She knew money was not an issue, Harry was seriously wealthy. It was just…maybe a little too much? She didn’t feel completely comfortable having him spend money on her. She was a multi-millionaire in her own right, thanks to her books and Laura’s stock market savvy, but chose to live simply. Her main indulgences were her homes, which also happened to be good investments.

“Oh Harry! This is amazing but I’m afraid it’s too much…” she began, but saw his face fall. Quickly she finished “technology for me! Will you show me how to use it?” His grin returned, this time accompanied by dimples. Oh, thank goodness—it was a good save. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him.

“Of course, I will. Yours hasn’t worked properly since you dropped it at the pub. I don’t want you to be stranded with a phone that doesn’t want to work,” he explained. Kacey kissed him.

“Thank you! It’s really cool—and you got it in red! How did you manage that?” she asked, impressed.

“It’s a secret,” he grinned. Leaning a bit, he grabbed another box and passed it to her. This one was even larger than the first, but not as heavy. Kacey, once again, tore into the paper. Inside the box, wrapped in tissue, was a silk scarf. She recognized it immediately. It was a vintage Gucci floral scarf with a pink border that she had saved to her Pinterest page. She looked up at him wide-eyed.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“I’ve seen you looking at this several times. It wasn’t hard to guess that you really liked it,” he said with a dismissive little wave of his hand.

“I love it. It’s even prettier than I imagined. Thank you!” she admired, stroking his cheek.

Harry reached for the last package and a colored envelope. Handing her the package with a grin, he said “This kind of goes with the scarf.”

Kacey tore into the last package to find a small box. Removing the lid, she gasped. Inside was a brooch with two large, round rubies hanging from gold stems with marquise cut emerald leaves; cherries on stems. It was stunning. Kacey looked up at him with tears forming. “Oh Harry, it’s beautiful!” she whispered.

Harry’s face was joyous. “I thought you needed a symbol for your Order,” he explained.

She laughed, and sniffed. “Thank you. This is all so wonderful. Best birthday ever.”

In a humorous game show host voice Harry intoned “But wait! It isn’t over yet!” and handed her the envelope.

With trembling fingers, she pulled the envelope open. It was a pink card with “Happy Birthday Beautiful” on the front. Inside was a note telling her the he had booked them a stay at Middlethorpe Hall, an 18th century manor house that had been converted into a hotel and spa. She looked up at him, amazed.

“We have celebrating to do: the tour is over, our album is coming out, and you have just sent your third best seller to the publisher,” he said smiling at her. “We could use some relaxation and I know how much you love the old homes and castles.”

“It’s all perfect. Thank you. This has already been the bestest birthday and it isn’t even noon!” she giggled. * They spent four days in the Garden Cottage suite at Middlethorpe Hall, most of that time snuggling next to the fire or walking the twenty acre grounds. Harry had scheduled a full spa day for them and they indulged in massages, manicures, pedicures and facials. Kacey laughed at Harry and tried to take a picture of him, covered in the face mask with his hair in a towel turban style, but he stared her down. She giggled about the image for the rest of the day until he threatened to spank her. That led to a challenge which resulted in Harry chasing her until he caught her in the sitting room of their suite. He flipped her over his lap and whacked her bottom a few times before they found the whole situation too erotic and wound up taking care of business on the cottage floor in front of the fireplace. The end of their stay came far too soon and they reluctantly packed up to head back to London.

Harry was starting album promo in a few days and Kacey had a meeting with her publisher to discuss timelines. In six weeks the band’s hiatus would start and they would have more time to spend together. Kacey could hardly wait. * Kacey sat in the corner of the room two chairs away from Julie the Modest! agent. It was a press day and Harry had asked if she wanted to tag along. She agreed with alacrity, always taking advantage of any opportunity to spend time with him. The 1D guys were split up with Harry and Niall taking the first shift of reporters to be followed by Liam and Louis in the afternoon. Kacey was impressed with their press skills, answering the same tired questions over and over but seemingly excited to do so each time. Of course, they had thousands of interviews under their belts so it was almost automatic. She was chatting quietly with them while the next team of cameraman and interviewer got set up. Julie signaled that they were ready and Kacey went back to her chair.

The interviewer was a woman in her late twenties with over-processed hair and under-plucked brows wearing what appeared to be a sneer. Her obviously expensive, yet frumpy, blouse was unbuttoned one too far, her skirt a trace too short. Her posture was ramrod straight as she leaned forward toward the boys causing her small bosom to jut out. Kacey could smell her cloying perfume all the way across the room leaving her to wonder how Harry and Niall weren’t choking or tearing up sitting so close to the source. Her voice was adenoidal when she introduced herself as Arabella Braxton-Hicks, journalist from a snooty little mag that Kacey avoided. Disguising a snicker with a cough, Kacey earned herself a stern look from Julie. She ignored her and returned to playing Words With Friends on her phone, only half listening to the interview. Dammit. 7 consonants, one of which was a Q. What the hell was she going to do with that? Sounds tickled her attention; it took a moment for Kacey to realize that the voices in the room were no longer cordial. She heard tension in Harry’s tone and looked up, frowning. On instinct, she tapped her phone and began recording. Ms. Braxton-Hicks was pointing her pen aggressively to punctuate her next question.

“Harry, it has been suggested that you are bisexual with a long history of both male and female lovers. Is this true?”

Kacey, eyes wide with disbelief, looked at Harry to see his eyes tightening before responding with a careful, measured tone “Suggested by whom?”

“Oh, loads of people.”

“How does that pertain to our album, Arabella?” he asked quietly, leaning back in his chair.

“Your fans and the public want to know. Are you going to answer me?” she challenged, the hostility evident.

“No.”

Kacey felt her fingernails bite into the palm of her left hand and flexed her fingers to relax it, phone still recording the scene in her right. Her pulse was rising, heat creeping into her cheeks. Arabella turned to Niall.

“Niall, you have a history of very short romances. Does your inability to keep a girlfriend stem from your poor relationship with your mother?” she inquired archly.

“Oh, hell no,” Kacey sputtered, practically launching from her seat and across the room. “Excuse me! I’m sorry for interrupting. Really.”

Harry and Niall were looking at her with wide eyes and Julie was alarmed, not quite sure what was happening. Kacey smiled sweetly at all of them, but Harry could see that the smile did not reach her eyes. They were slightly narrowed and…what was with the color? Normally an icy blue they were now, somehow, almost yellow.

“Two minutes, I promise.” Kacey resumed, then turned to the interviewer. “May I speak with you in private, please?”

When she gave Kacey a smirk and prepared to decline, Kacey added in a tone so low that only she could hear “You can walk out with me or be dragged. By your hair.”

The interviewer’s face flushed an angry red but she stood and walked after Kacey who held the door open for her. Before it could close all the way, the boys heard her say “Bitch! Who do you think you are…” Harry started to rise but Niall, still staring at the door put his hand out to stop him. They could hear Kacey’s voice, low and deliberate, but could not make out any of the words. They just sat and watched the door.

“Bitch! Who do you think you are…” She barely got the last word out when Kacey turned on her. Her voice low with a hint of menace, anger radiating out in waves that were almost palpable.

“Oh sweetie, I am not A bitch, I am THE bitch. And this bitch has reached her limit with your rudeness, your derision, and your extraordinarily unprofessional behavior. Actions have consequences, did you know that? Shhh. That was rhetorical. That means that you don’t talk, you just stand right there and listen. I am going to, first, call your editor and discuss your performance here today.” Receiving only a sneer in response, Kacey went on. “Then I am going to contact the publisher and lodge a complaint about your unprofessionalism.”

Again, only a smirk. “Lastly, I am going to take this little video of the way you have treated them today and upload it to twitter and tumblr with provocative tags like #protect Harry and #protect Niall.” The smirk began to fade. “Jonathan Heaf garnered death threats for himself and his editors at GQ for suggesting that Harry was a man whore. What do you think the fans would do to you? Hmmm?” Kacey could see the beginnings of fear dawning on her face.

“Everyone knows One Direction fans are rabid and crazy; this video would send them into a frenzy. They are in every corner of the world; there is nowhere that you could hide. Those girls hack airport security cameras for heaven’s sake, you will be easy prey.”

“You’re threatening me,” Arabella said with an audible tremor in her voice.

“Oh, no darlin’, I never make threats. I make promises. Before you leave this building, it will have started. Unless you march your ungrateful ass back in that room and apologize, profusely and sincerely, to those lovely men giving you their time so that you can make some money. If I ever hear a whisper about this on any website or in any publication, I will upload. Consequences. My two minutes are up. Your move, wannabe,” Kacey finished in a firm tone.

She moved to the door and opened it, holding it wide for Ms. Braxton-Hicks and following her through. Harry, Niall, Julie and the cameraman all stared at the now chastened journalist who walked in stiffly with her shoulders tight and eyes bright. Pausing by her chair she cleared her throat and mumbled “I am…very sorry…for my behavior. I would be grateful if you would allow me to continue.”

All eyes but hers turned to Kacey who was moving quietly to her seat.

“Of course,” Harry responded quietly, dimples sneaking out.

Niall was grinning at Kacey, shaking his head slightly.

The rest of the interview was unremarkable and they were all relieved when it was over. Ms. Braxton- Hicks thanked the boys then hastily packed her things and made for the door, flinching when Kacey called out after her “It was nice to meet you, Arabella.”

Harry ambled over to her kissing her forehead and hugging her to him. “What did you say to her?”

“Oh, we just discussed actions and consequences. Nothing big,” she replied pleasantly.

“You can be scary sometimes, d’ya know that?” * Harry had another small break before he had to fly back to North America for some television appearances and awards shows. He asked Kacey if she would come home with him to Cheshire to meet his mum and Robin. The idea terrified her but, seeing how important it was to him, she agreed. She was a bit relieved to hear that Gemma would be there too. Kacey wasn’t afraid of parents as a rule but she was worried about making a good impression on Harry’s. He valued their opinion so much and was particularly close to his mum. Kacey knew that if Anne Twist disapproved of her, her relationship with Harry would suffer if it survived at all.

Kacey was trying desperately to calm herself during the three-hour drive but her anxiety increased with each mile they traveled. Harry knew she was nervous but he was also quite sure that there was no reason for her to be. He hadn’t brought a girl home to meet his mum and step-dad since he left for the X-Factor. He had been talking about Kacey to his mum for months and was excited for the weekend when the three most important women in his life would all be together. He was confident that Anne would adore Kacey as much as he did. As they pulled up to the house, the front door opened and his mum and Robin rushed out to greet them. Harry had just opened Kacey’s door and helped her out of the SUV then turned to hug his mum. Anne’s smile was huge as she enveloped her son in a tight embrace. Harry hugged Robin then turned to introduce Kacey.

“Mum, Robin, this is Kassidy Day. Kassidy, my mum Anne and my step dad Robin,” he finished formally.

There were smiles all around as they shook hands, ‘nice to meet yous’ floating in the air. They had turned to go inside when Gemma came bounding out the door with a large smile and a shout for Kacey.

“Kassidy! It’s been too long!” she called, rushing up to hug her.

“What about me?” Harry asked, after being ignored.

“Meh, I’ll get to you later little brother. Right now, I want to see your girlfriend,” Gemma retorted. “Kassidy, I love that scarf!”

“Harry gave it to me for my birthday,” Kacey said smiling.

“Oooh! That pin is gorgeous!” Gemma exclaimed, fingering the cherry brooch. “Don’t tell me he gave you that too! Has my younger sibling finally gained some taste?”

Kacey laughed and replied fondly “Yes, that was another gift from Harry. I love it! Rubies and emeralds are two of my favorites.”

Gemma took Kacey’s arm and they chatted as they followed Harry and his parents into the house. Harry was telling them about the trip to Middlethorpe and funny stories about the spa day; Anne’s smile fading a bit the more they talked. They all gathered in the lounge, Gemma finally hugging her brother before they sat on the sofa together, Kacey on his other side. The girls talked around Harry as he sat beaming at everyone, very happy to be at home with the people he loved most. Only Robin Twist noticed that his wife was quieter than usual. They went to dinner that night at their favorite local restaurant and the conversation was lively. Harry was laughing as he got caught up on the local news, asking about friends and neighbors. Gemma and Kacey were giggling over their wine and talking about the two People’s Choice awards that Kacey had been nominated for. “Ugh! The day the nominations were announced, Jimmy Fallon called to remind me about a bet we made at my movie premiere. I lost so now I have to go on his show as the musical guest. What am I going to do?” Kacey groaned. “You could always sing that song you did for karaoke…” Gemma barely got the words out before bursting into laughter. Kacey, a little tipsy on the wine, giggled with her. Anne watched them all as she sipped her wine. * The next morning after breakfast, Harry went to play golf with Robin at the local club. Kacey spent some time in their room studying a script for Mortwick Murders that was shooting the next week. She came downstairs in the afternoon and Anne called to her as she walked into the kitchen to get a drink. “Kassidy, would you like to join me for tea?” Anne invited from the table by the window. Kacey accepted with “That would be lovely. Thank you.” Anne had poured and offered Kacey a biscuit from the plate. Smiling, she chose a shortbread. Anne’s face was serious wearing a very slight frown.

“So, Kassidy,” she said conversationally but with a firm edge to her voice. “I notice that my son has given you a lot of gifts.”

She looked pointedly at Kacey, one eyebrow raised slightly. Anne watched as the smile slowly melted from Kacey’s face. Kacey set her cup down gently on the saucer, expressions flitting across her face. At last she pursed her lips slightly and settled for resigned. Releasing a barely audible sigh, she looked Anne in the eye.

“I don’t care about Harry’s money,” she began. Anne’s expression conveyed her doubt. Kacey continued “Yes, I know that sounds disingenuous. It would be, if I didn’t have any, but I do. I have more than enough to live very comfortably for the rest of my life. I don’t have many needs and even fewer wants. I don’t want him to buy me gifts but he gets such joy from giving them to me that I don’t discourage it. When he grows tired of me, as he surely will, I’ll return them all.” Kacey paused. “Well, all but one. That one I’ll keep. It’s my favorite and it was also the most expensive. Do you want to know what it is?” Kacey continued without waiting for a reply, “One afternoon we were in my flat and Harry sang to me for over an hour. Can you imagine? A private concert with Harry Styles? Astronomically expensive. It’s a memory I will always treasure.” Her voice cracked. “Would you excuse me?” she murmured, rising quickly.

Anne sat nonplussed watching her bolt from the room. That had not gone as she imagined.

Kacey hurried out of the kitchen and out of the house. She walked briskly, unseeing, her breaths coming in sharp sobs. The voice in her head ran amok ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. She thinks I’m a user, a gold-digger. His mom disapproves of me! What am I going to do? OMG. I knew this was too good to be true. He’ll never stay with me if she dislikes me. Oh no! I’m going to lose him! I thought I’d have more time. I’m not ready for this. Please, oh please, no. OMG.’ Her brain, focusing on a meltdown, failed to note her surroundings or the passage of time.

Slowly the exertion worked off the panic and she was able to calm down some. A lump was still wedged in her throat and tears were barely at bay but she began to notice her surroundings. She didn’t recognize them. She was unfamiliar with Holmes Chapel; this was her first visit and, she realized, it was probably her last. STOP THAT. Get a grip. She had been so nervous on the trip here that she hadn’t paid attention until they had arrived. Patting her pocket, she did not find her phone. The image of it on the kitchen table popped into her mind. Shit. She tried to remember the Twist’s address but she wasn’t sure she had ever known it. Great. She was lost, she had no money, no phone and no one in this tiny town would give a stranger the address or directions to Harry Styles’ house. They would all assume she was a fan trying to get to him. She thought about trying to find a police officer but she had no idea where the constabulary might be. Looking around she saw a wooded area, a kind of park, but no houses.

It also dawned on Kacey that the weather was changing. It had been mild for November and she was wearing a thin pink hoodie, yoga pants and trainers. She didn’t know how long she had been gone but it must have been quite a while because it was the sky was darkening and the wind had really picked up. Correction, it hadn’t merely picked up, it was blowing hard. The trees were whipping around violently and it became clear to her that she needed to find shelter of some sort. She turned around and began walking the direction from which she came hoping that some details had registered subconsciously. A sudden gust almost caused her to lose her balance. She heard a loud crack followed by a thud behind her as a large limb broke in one of the trees and fell to the ground. Kacey began to run; she needed to get away from the trees. She stopped after about a mile, winded and trying to catch her breath; she had never been a runner. Looking around she was now in a field or maybe it was a park. The wind was becoming even more fierce but she saw no place that would offer her shelter. She’d gone maybe a quarter mile when the skies opened and the rain began. Great sheets, whipped by the wind, pelted her; the drops stinging where they hit her skin. Not far away she could make out a bench and she made for that. Reaching it, she curled up on the seat trying to make as small a target as possible for the elements. Shivering in the dropping temperatures, wind and icy rain, she began to cry again.

Behind her headlights appeared on the lane near the bench that she hadn’t been able to discern in the storm. They slowed as they approached and a spotlight joined them, moving until it focused on her. The constable got out of the car and walked quickly to her, touching her shoulder causing her to jump. “Miss? You need to get out of this storm. Come with me.” He helped her up and to his vehicle. Once inside he reached in the back and found an extra jacket giving it to her and then cranked up the heater tilting the vents toward her. “Are you Kassidy Day?”

Kacey nodded, bewildered that he would know who she was. The officer radioed a message that he had found her and was taking her to the Twists’. He explained that they had received a call from ‘Mr. Styles’ that she was lost and without a phone.

“Miss, I have to ask, do you want to go back there? Did you run because you were in danger?” the constable watched her closely.

“Y-yes, please take me back. I just got lost and then the storm…” she managed between chattering teeth. * Harry was laughing as he came in from golf with Robin. They had enjoyed a day on the links but decided to stop after 9 holes when the weather began to deteriorate. They had lunch at the clubhouse and then returned home to find Anne waiting for them. Looking at her face, Harry immediately asked what was wrong.

“It’s Kassidy…” she began.

“What’s happened to her? Is she okay?” he blurted out.

“She went out about two hours ago and she isn’t back yet,” his mum explained worriedly.

“Kassidy went out? Have you called her?” he asked, pulling his phone from the pocket of his golf pants.

“She left her phone on the table. I’m afraid she left rather abruptly,” Anne said reluctantly.

“Annie, what’s going on? What happened?” Robin asked his wife gently.

“I…I told her that I noticed you give her a lot of gifts…” she stammered, an embarrassed flush creeping into her face.

Harry took a moment to absorb what his mum had said and all that it implied. Quietly he said “Mum, I give her gifts because it pleases me to and she lets me. Kassidy means so much to me, I just want to make her happy.”

Harry looked at his phone and dialed the police as a loud rumble of thunder shook the windows. * The rain had momentarily relented as the police car pulled up outside the Twists’ home. Harry was out the door before it came to a complete stop. Hurrying to the vehicle, he opened Kacey’s door and gently lifted her out of the car before turning back to the house and heading upstairs. She was burrowing into his chest, holding him as tightly as she could.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to cause any trouble! I got lost and I didn’t have my phone–” she began to sob.

“Shhh, baby. Shhh, it’s okay. You’re safe now. Come on, let’s get you warmed up” he said calmly.

Anne wanted to say something but Harry stopped her with a shake of his head. Gemma had run a very warm bath and left the room quietly as Harry entered with Kacey, closing the door behind her. Kacey’s lips were blue and she was shivering as he carefully undressed her and lifted her into the tub. He turned to get the shampoo but Kacey grabbed at his arm frantically.

“P-Please don’t leave me Harry. Please don’t leave me…” she cried as tears began flowing again.

“Oh, baby, no. I’m not going anywhere,” he said as he stroked her hair.

After he rewarmed the water several times (and finally undressed and climbed into the tub, and then shower, with her) Kacey managed to feel warm again. Harry wrapped her in towels from the warmer and dried her softly. He combed the tangles out of her hair, then helped her put on one of his t-shirts and got her into bed. Climbing in next to her, he held her close until her breathing became deep and regular as she fell asleep. Harry lay awake for hours in the dark before he finally drifted off.

#soml11 #harry and kacey #harry

19 notes · View notes