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robkirbycomics · 5 years

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HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS ('70) When Barnabas Collins leaves the small screen he discovers he can inflict a lot more blood & mayhem on the big screen #31horrorfilms31days

NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS ('71) Quentin Collins inherits Collinwood in all its splendor, inhabited by the spirit of Angelique the witch, who only wants him to love her. Obviously Quentin's new wife is not into this situation, no way no how

GERALD’S GAME ('17) Couple's sex-zay weekend becomes much less so when he keels over dead while she's handcuffed to the bed. Surprisingly potent mix of super-squirmy thrills n chills w/ Triumph of the Spirit uplift

BODY BAGS ('93) trio of horror tales features a very early 90s brew of synth-y score, jokey cameos by Wes Craven, et al. & an overall sophomoric vibe. But also good performances + Debbie Harry. Body Bags = mixed bag

HEREDITARY ('18) This very dark blend of ORDINARY PEOPLE with ROSEMARY’S BABY features a wonderfully unhinged performance by Toni Collette and remains a sobering reminder that sometimes it does *not* get better

TRAIN TO BUSAN (’16) Excellent Korean Zombie Apocalypse thriller mixes edge-of-the-seat thrills with involving human drama - with characters you genuinely care about. At the end I was all (crying emojis)

THE TAKING OF DEBORAH LOGAN ('14) Harrowing found footage flick: a documentary film crew filming a woman dealing w/ early effects of Alzheimer's disease finds she is afflicted w/ something much worse - something *unholy*. A small gem, I recommend

THE REEF (’10) TFW you realize that the perfect killer shark movie was made nearly 45 years ago. But anyway here's yet another killer shark movie

THE BLACKCOAT’S DAUGHTER ('15) Weirdo teen girl & non-weirdo teen girl spend a lonely holiday weekend in an empty all-girl's school where things get super creepy in that arty-slow-burn-fractured-narrative fashion. Honestly, I was riveted

VIY ('67) Loser-y Russian seminary student must spend 3 scary nights praying over a dead witch's body. Only she's not so dead & wants to drag him down to hell with her. During the day he drinks much vodka, who could blame him? Enjoyed this charming folktale

TIGERS ARE NOT AFRAID ('16) del Toro-esque tale of orphaned street kids on the lam from a vicious drug cartel, alternately haunted & helped by ghostly victims of the cartel. Scary, funny & touching, a fairytale that will give you the feels

ANGST ('83) Psycho creep gets out of jail and wants to kill, proceeds to do so. Best part of this clammy little German film: the totes adorbs little dachshund, even the whackjob seemed to like it with its cute little wagging tail

PONTYPOOL (’07) Radio shockjock has a super bad day at work when a terrible virus breaks out that turns people into murderous zombies - esp when he learns how the virus is transmitted. Def recommend this excellent, downright existential Canadian chiller

HELL HOUSE LLC ('16) A crew of douchebags acquire an old hotel w/ unsavory past to open a Halloween haunted house, only to find themselves stuck in an overlong combination of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT w/ THE BEYOND - never a good place to be

SUSPIRIA ('18) Luca Guadagnino’s radical reimagining of Dario Argento's rococo 1977 masterpiece polarized horror fans: Those Who Damned vs Those Mesmerized. Count me solidly in the latter camp

16. DARLING ('15) Young woman takes housesitting job in huge, elegantly ritzy NYC apt, slowly unravels, eventually does damage w/ a big kitchen knife. All in beautiful B&W

HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP ('80) Monstrous mutants arise from the depths to terrorize a fishing village. Turns out they also want to propagate the species, Ew

BUCKET OF BLOOD ('59) Loser schnook works as a busboy in beatnik cafe, then finds success pawning off corpses covered in plaster as ART. This adorbs time capsule amusingly satirizes both beatnik culture & Art World bullshit

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS ('60) This cheap little quickie about a bloodthirsty plant that morphed into an 1982 off-Broadway hit & more is still engaging, w/ fun Borscht belt type humor & game cast, incl Jack Nicholson, genuinely funny as a masochistic dental pt

EATEN ALIVE ('76) Sweaty whackjob owns (A) rundown remote hotel, (B) large scythe, & (C) man-eating crocodile, all leading to (D) bizzaro murderous mayhem. Highlight: the croc (spoiler alert) eats a pre-Freddy Kruger Robert Englund

HOUR OF THE WOLF ('68) Artist & wife settle into life on isolated, windy island, where he inevitably begins to succumb to his inner demons. Ingmar Bergman's lone horror film is filled w/ all kinds of frightening imagery + existential dread. Good times!

THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF (’73) Little Richie: I'm scared, Dad's a werewolf! Let's not go camping with him! Everyone: He is not, you're tired, you had a nightmare, those dead people were killed by a wild animal, go to bed, etc. Repeat for 80 minutes

ONE CUT OF THE DEAD ('19) Japanese item features a low-budget film crew filming a zombie flick. Charming, funny, & way-meta - recommend not reading anything about it B4 watching (after this post, obvs)

JU-ON: THE GRUDGE ('02) A brutal double murder creates a relentless curse in this genuinely creepy Japanese ghost story. It's also one of ol' Rob's faves from the aughts

JENNIFER ('78) TFW the school bullies are being super horrible but then you remember Hey wait I have *supernatural power* over *SNAKES* and I could totally use that to my advantage! (hint: she totally does)

THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE ('16) Father & son coroners perform an autopsy on a mysterious corpse & must soon deal with several standard supernatural tropes including jump scares

HAGGAZUSSA ('17) Portrait of a woman branded as a witch, living in isolation outside a remote village, slowly losing her grip. Not a fun or action-packed watch, but if ur willing to meet it halfway, this German film might both mesmerize & horrify you.

IN THE TALL GRASS (’19) People get lost in an ominous field of grass that apparently stretches out waaay further than you'd ever think possible, not unlike the runtime of this movie

THE NIGHTSHIFTER (’18) In this clever Brazilian gem, guy working in a morgue learns the hard way that when the dead impart information, what they tell you should stay *strictly* confidential

MANDY (’18) Nicolas Cage dials it up way past over-the-top avenging himself on an evil cult & demon bikers in this flamboyantly campy, blood-soaked, LSD-infused revenge tale. Me = shaking my head, utterly hypnotized throughout

CANDYMAN (’93) Candyman Candyman Candyman Candyman (...)

INHUMAN KISS ('19) Young lovers must contend w/ the fact that her head detaches from her body every night to feed upon flesh in this romantic, wildly over-the-top dark fantasy from Thailand. Lovely way to wrap up this yr's #31horrorfilms31days extravaganza

#31horrorfilms31days #dark shadows #j-horror #tobe hooper #clive barker #ingmar bergman #stephen king #Horror Movies

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techcrunchappcom · 3 years

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/30-coins-another-host-without-consecration-by-alex-de-la-iglesia/

'30 coins', another host without consecration by Álex de la Iglesia

VOD news brings you the best premieres of the week on Netflix, HBO, Amazon Prime Video … And for the third week in a row, we have a ‘Spanish’ on the cover, but not just any one and in no case derogatory: 30 coins, the latest from Álex of the Church in serial format. Otherwise, just a couple of outstanding content and, yes, the most interesting catalogs.

If it has been eight weeks since HBO that did not rise to the top of the section, and did so with the Spanish series Patria, it is doing it again now with another expected production of the country, worth the redundancy and the adjective, if you reside in these parts. We are talking about 30 coins, a series that you still cannot see … But be careful, because it is not the only thing that HBO brings for this week.

In fact, HBO arrives this week with the most powerful material of the big three of VOD… and it was about time. Of all, the highlight is undoubtedly 30 coins, the new series by Álex de la Iglesia, whose premiere is scheduled for tomorrow, so you’ll have to hold on a bit if you’re wanting to see the new of a director capable of combining the terms ‘Spanish’ – I repeat, without any derogatory connotation that is worth it- and ‘original’ in almost everything he touches, although the last qualifier goes back to his particular style. 30 coins is made up of a choral cast of which you will hear most of the faces and the story, of which I can tell you little about the obvious, it is inevitable that it does not recall a little of the magnificent The Day of the Beast due to the themes it touches . And honestly, as long as it is half as good as that one, we are going to really enjoy these 30 coins. For more information, the trailer.

Another striking HBO premiere for this week is The Flight Attendant, a series halfway between suspense and black humor that brings back Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) in a title role. It tells the story of a flight attendant who gets froggy one night of passion… But what actually happened? Criticism is receiving it well.

And one more from HBO, this in movie format: Superintelligence, a comedy that revolves around an artificial ‘superintelligence’ crazier than usual.

More exclusive content:

Black money (Tuff Money)(T1). “Two operatives joke about manipulating traffic to dock a bank’s armored van and they end up forced to do so. All the institutions they ask for help want to carry out the theft and take a part of it. ”

New chapters:

A Teacher (T1) Murder on Middle Beach (T1) How to with John Wilson (T1) Industry (T1) Dark Matter (T2) Romulus (T1) The Spanish Princess (T2) The Undoing (T1) Valley of Tears (T1 ) Warrior (T2)

Enter catalog:

Aquaman The exchange Lego DC Super Heroes: Justice League: Gotham City Breakout The Mercenaries 3 The Penguins of Madagascar Tomorrow begins all ThunderCats Roar! (T1)

Netflix follows his and releases numerous exclusive or original content, which are not always the same, but as usual there is a lot of straw or little grain, if not none.

Of everything that premieres on Netflix this week, maybe Christmas Chronicles 2 be the highlight for being the sequel to a movie that had its success a couple of years ago. The story, the typical Christmas with Santa Claus in the middle, this time with Chris Columbus at the helm, but with Kurt Russell again at the beard. A light entertainment for all audiences, especially the youngest.

More exclusive content:

Dolly Parton: Christmas in the Square. «A ruthless woman puts an end to the Christmas spirit when she tries to sell the lands of the city where she was born. Can music, magic and memories stop her? ” Tomy’s notebook. «A woman with terminal cancer writes an extraordinary notebook on life, death and love for her son to remember. Based on a true story.” The phone. «Connected by a telephone, but separated by time. A serial killer endangers the past and the life of another woman to change her own destiny. ” Hillbilly, a rural elegy. “An urgent call takes a Yale law student to his hometown of Ohio, where he reflects on three generations of family history and his own future.” The beast. “A lone Special Forces veteran unleashes his inner beast as he pursues his daughter’s kidnappers … and becomes a suspect.” Mosul. “After being rescued by an Iraqi squad, a young policeman joins his rescuers to fight the Islamic State in a devastated Mosul.” Shawn Mendes: In Wonder. “In this documentary shot during a world tour, Shawn Mendes opens up about his success, his relationships and his musical future.” Shawn Mendes: Live in Concert. “In his hometown Toronto, Shawn Mendes indulges his ardent fans at a concert in a packed stadium.” Dance Dreams: The Chocolate Nutcracker. “This documentary focuses on Debbie Allen’s career and shows her dancers preparing for the annual ‘The Chocolate Nutcracker’ performance.” Tut Tut Cory Cars: Christmas. A stranger with a familiar face appears at Cory’s house. As he does not remember anything, the little one helps him remember the magic of Christmas, and together they save the holidays. ” A place to dream (T2). “A nurse wants to start from scratch and leaves Los Angeles to move to a remote town in Northern California, where many surprises await.” Christmas visit. “Bastian, a musician who has nowhere to fall dead and sees everything black, returns home for Christmas … where surprises that are not at all festive await him.”

Enter catalog:

Aquaman Contraband Eternally committed King Kong The shadow of power The Boleyn Sisters New Years Eve at the Magnolia One more of the Voices family

Continue with Amazon Prime Video, whose most outstanding releases for this week are in what goes into the catalog, including Aquaman (reaches all platforms) or Bohemian Rhapsody, in addition to many classics.

More exclusive content:

Everyone’s game. “These players want to be pioneers in opening the doors of this sport and making rugby” Everyone’s game. ” My uncle frank. “In 1973, when Frank Bledsoe and his 18-year-old niece Beth set out on a road trip from Manhattan to Creekville, South Carolina, to attend the funeral of the family patriarch, they were unexpectedly joined by Walid, Frank’s lover.”

New chapters:

Ladies of the (H) AMPA (T1)

Enter catalog:

Alexander the Great Alice Cooper – Live At Montreux 2005 All about the money Threatened online Aquaman Just like you are Bee movie Bohemian Rhapsody Boomerang, the prince of women Clueless Cool World Congo Special mail Things we lost in the fire Damsel Deep Purple – Machine Head (Classic Album) Dracula 3D Educating Bobby The neighborhood against me The double murder of Morgue Street The son of Saul The empire of terror The Paradine process The crazy professor The secret of Santa Vittoria Scammers of Wall Street Force of Impact Frankenstein and the monster of hell Infected (Carriers) The submerged city The island of lost souls The Other Couple (All Over the Guy) The mermaid and the dolphin The tribe of the Brady Lobster Light as Feathers The 50 are the new 30 The satanic rites of Dracula Stronger than pride Thieves market Midway Mystery at Amman Mommy We don’t like Captain Black pudding! Opening Night Red Scorpion, scheduled to destroy Redcon-1 – Zombie Apocalypse Bloody Valentine Seven Sisters No Truce The Square Lava storm An American werewolf in Paris A monster comes to see me I travel alone

And we end with Disney +, which arrives with little, but adjusted to what is expected of it … with the exception of the new season of The Simpsons, which is the owner of Fox for that.

More exclusive content:

Black beauty. “In this timeless remake of Anna Sewell’s classic novel, we will delve into the life of Black Beauty, a wild mare who was born in the wild in the western United States.” Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions. “Taylor Swift performs all the songs on her hit album ‘Folklore’ in an intimate concert, shot at the historic Long Pond Studio, a setting that evokes the nostalgic and dreamy nature of the record.”

New chapters:

One Day at Disney (T1) The Mandalorian (T2)

Enter catalog:

Far From Home The Simpsons (S31) Noelle Runaways

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#another #coins #consecration #iglesia #without #Technology

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fuckyeahrogerandbrianna · 7 years

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SOPHIE SKELTON Interviewed & Edited by: Jaimee Jakobczak, IG @ ThisIsJaimee

Sophie Skelton was scouted by an agent at only 15 years old and she quickly began turning heads worldwide when she joined the cast of Outlander as the fiery Brianna. We reached out to Sophie to talk about her character’s development as we enter the new season of Outlander and to probe her for some info on her upcoming zombie-breakout film Day of the Dead: Bloodline and the incredible World War 2 based true story of Louisa Gold in Another Mother’s Son.

You signed on as Bree in Outlander last season, did you get a warm welcome from the cast?

Absolutely. I had already met Caitriona in my screen test and, straight away, she and I got on so well which was great. She is absolutely as blooming incredible off screen as she is on. She and Sam are little pranksters on set and they gave Richard and I such a warm welcome. As did the whole crew, it’s a really tight-knit family and we were welcomed with open arms. Despite the fact we only rocked up for the final few weeks to film the finale all fresh-faced and eager and they’d had months of relentless mud and rain! They could have chucked us in a mud puddle to give us a proper Outlander initiation but they spared us that!

Had you read the novels by Diana Gabaldon prior to auditioning, and do you have a favourite in the series?

I hadn’t prior to auditioning but as soon as the audition came through I did. There’s a reason they’re international bestsellers and that people still love them so much 20 years on – they’re all so beautifully written but my favourite is definitely ‘Drums of Autumn’ which is the fourth book and the one that we are about to shoot. I read them with Bree in mind so maybe I’m a little biassed! She has such an incredible and heavy story in 4 and really comes into her own but even with Bree aside, the book is a great novel.

Bree is obviously apprehensive about the whole idea of time travelling until she sees it with her own eyes. If you were to witness it yourself, would you be excited or creeped out?

I think I’d be excited. I’m not easily creeped out and I’m a pretty adventurous person so it’s more likely that I’d be the one running head first into the stones next out of curiosity!

Where do you think Roger’s head is at in all of this? Is he just swept up by the events?

From the beginning Roger was less sceptical about the reality of time-travel than Bree was and I think, for him, there was almost an element of hope that time travel did exist. He’s a historian and I think his world would open up a little if it did. It’s a whole new layer of history whereas Bree is more logistically minded. More ‘see it to believe it’. He definitely gets swept up in the events – it becomes an exciting challenge/adventure for him trying to find Jamie using history books and records to track his whereabouts. I think there is also an element of hope in him that there’s a parallel between finding Jamie and gaining Brianna’s affection. He’s always trying to impress Bree but also dead set on protecting her too and this information regarding Jamie would help Brianna come to terms with her Mother’s distance throughout her life. As much as he loves the distraction and the adventure of it all, Roger really does just want to help.

Can you tell us a little about the film Another Mother’s Son?

The film is based on the real life memoirs of a woman called Louisa Gould. It was actually written by her granddaughter and is one of the most incredible stories I’ve read. It’s set on the Nazi-occupied island of Jersey during the Second World War. Louisa lost her son in the war and took in a Russian Prisoner of War and hid him in her house for years feeding him from her rations and teaching him English. The residents were waiting for troops to be sent over in aid by Churchill but they didn’t arrive in time.

How does Jess fit into the story; is she based off a real person as well?

Jess is actually the one fictional lead character in the film. She was added into the story to create even more suspense and ‘who did it’ mystery element. In the script Jess is the one responsible for writing the incriminating letter which sent Louisa to jail. Jess is an interesting character because she is a young naive girl who falls in love with a German soldier but ends up turning on her own people out of pure fear. It was never actually proven who did write the letter back in the 40s, it’s merely still a hunch.

What was the most inspiring thing you learned about Louisa Gould?

The raw bravery of her. It’s so easy to sit here now and objectively say we would all do what she did, especially if a mother and especially if we had lost a child in the war like she had, but it’s an entirely different story when you have Nazi’s literally knocking on your door and searching your house as and when they please, roaming the streets and not knowing who you can and can’t trust anymore. The fact that Louisa took in a prisoner of war in spite of all of that was sensational. She painted a target on her own head, in her own home, for the sake of a stranger. She was a soldier in her own way.

Day of the Dead: Bloodline is another film you have coming out soon, about trying to survive a world overrun by zombies. What would be your go-to plan should we have a zombie outbreak?

I’d like to think I’d be a lot like Zoe. I’d definitely grab for the gun but I would try to find a long term cure too to avoid having to hide away. I am a bit of a Biochem geek too so I’d love the task of inventing the vaccine. It’s a pretty unique illness and working on live ‘rotter’ patients certainly wouldn’t get dull!

What situation do you think you’d have an easier time with, being in Louisa Gould’s shoes, or being Zoe Parker?

Oh wow, that’s a good question. Hmm I think it’s be easier to be Zoe. She has guns and a protective compound and people around her whom she trusts. In Jersey during the war the fear was making people turn on each other. People couldn’t trust their neighbours and even family members were so afraid that they would grass on each other without fully considering the repercussions of it. People kick into an entirely different primal animalistic mode when it comes to survival. I think that’s far more horrifying a reality than dealing with something you know is out to get you (aka zombies). Far easier to be fighting forward than be stabbed in the back. Better the devil you know and all that…

You’re currently raising money and awareness for Crohn’s and Colitis U.K – why is this an important charity to you?

It’s not a disease which is discussed as widely as it should be. Unfortunately, despite the tireless work from charities such as Crohn’s and Colitis UK there isn’t a lot of awareness or research out there and as such it is sometimes belittled. But what isn’t widely acknowledged is that it’s also an autoimmune disease and sadly can often lead to cancer in various forms and in some cases, patients will end up using a colostomy bag. In this day and age no one in such a vulnerable position should have to feel embarrassed or misunderstood. I have a family member with the disease and it changed their life so I want to do everything I can to help them and many others. Hopefully by opening up discussions about the disease we can raise awareness and eventually prevent anyone from having to continue suffering in silence.

Anything else you’d like to mention that you have on the horizon?

I just wrapped on another film called ‘#211‘ based on the North Hollywood bank shootout of ’97. I play Lisa who is the daughter of Nicolas Cage’s character and the wife of his cop-partner. She finds out she and her husband are finally pregnant at the beginning of the movie and then as the day unfolds and their lives are turned upside down. There seems to be a trend forming – my characters certainly never have an easy path!

#outlander #sophie skelton #tv news #brianna randall

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theowlsarenotwhattheyremembers · 7 years

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Episode 1: Dragonstone

Right guys I know you’ll have already watched this but look I only just started this blog and I can’t miss the first episode off also you will benefit from my insights regardless.

!!!! I have been in a state of extreme agitation all year and I can’t actually cope with the fact that it’s here. I am not emotionally prepared and do not know what I just saw.

Scene 1: Did everyone else not realise that was Arya and think we were in a flashback? I am so overwhelmed I am just right there in the moment I have no idea what’s about to happen. Then all those ratface (rats are intelligent moral creatures but you know what I mean) Freys start coughing up their own lower organs!! When did Arya learn about poisons? Was her training montage long enough to justify this?? I guess it was! And I know the Freys have deathsentence hospitality karma but baking your sons in a pie and feeding it to you and then dressing up in your corpse and poisoning your entire family - is that an eye for an eye according to whichever god is keeping score in this case? I guess possibly!

This recap blog is going to have an eye for History and Fable (matters which I know only very modest amounts about but there is google) and the sparknotes on Titus Andronicus on which the pie move is based indicates that it may lead to an ambivalent conclusion:

[After a succession of grisly heinous acts of reciprocal violence, Titus] tricks [Tamora, Queen of the Goths], captures her sons, kills them, and makes pie out of them. He feeds this pie to their mother in the final scene, after which he kills both Tamora and Lavinia, his own daughter. A rash of killings ensue; the only people left alive are Marcus [Titus’ brother], Lucius [Titus’ son], Young Lucius [his son], and Aaron [Tamora’s lover]. Lucius has the unrepentant Aaron buried alive, and Tamora's corpse thrown to the beasts. He becomes the new emperor of Rome.

This does not end well for the pie baker, though I suppose his kin are the ones who ultimately triumph. My male friends will often assume that I, a woman, feel empowered and liberated by the character of Arya, the traumatised magical child murderer. Not so, friends. My favourite liberated Game of Thrones #strongfemalecharacter is the lost unlamented Ros, sex worker from the north invented for TV for the purposes of the early sexposition-heavy plot who voyages down south with the Starks and whose illustrious sex spy career is wastefully cut short by Cunt Joffrey. Ros was working-class woman who fled the north before winter even came, whose talents were picked up by the farsighted Varys and who would have made an incredible Kings Landing player had it not been for the misogyny of Joffrey and the script writers and the twat fans who think the TV has to be like the crappy books which I have not read. Rest in Power Ros, this blog is dedicated to you.

Anyway I haven’t really recapped anything yet and this blog is already overlong so let’s get back to it.

Scene 2: The army of the north are coming!! This is too terrifying, it’s hot outside but I am wrapped in a blanket. There are multiple ice zombie giants as we all knew there would be. Let’s remember that like one living giant almost successfully broke through the gate at Castle Black during the wildling battle ages ago; multiple zombie giants are going to make fucking matchsticks of it no magic required, though they probably also have loads of that, those dragons need to get here pronto. Also why haven’t they iceblocked up the gate like Jon said they should ages ago??

Scene 2.5 (s2 was a vision I guess) Commander Dolorous Edd opens the gate to Meera and Bran, and asks if they are wildlings. Why does it matter? Wildlings can all come in anyway, that’s very much the policy now. Also if anything Bran saying “you were at Hardhome” etc only makes him seem more like a wildling, and a scary one? Anyway, no-one cares / everyone is too spooked to stay outside for long and so thank god poor Meera in particular can have a massive eat and a sleep by the fire. She and her magic and fighting skills have been wasted on being a less effective Hodor / wheelchair substitute, I eagerly anticipate her being given a chance to shine now our kids are back to what passes for civilisation.

Scene 3: Jon and Sansa are still holding court with the whole Northern gentry from last season. At least all those guys look warm in that nice hall toasting their feet on Winterfell’s famous underfloor heating! That awful bloke from the Vale *googles it* Yohn Royce makes an extremely unreasonable and tactics-free suggestion to demolish some of the last strongholds between them and the wall because of “justice” or whatever. Sansa points out that the castles themselves didn’t commit crimes (top-notch statecraft) but suggests they be given to loyal families to punish treason and reward loyalty. Jon makes a generous decision to let the young Karstarks and Umbers stay in their homes despite their twatty dads, making the good and frankly biblical point that the sons shouldn’t be punished for their fathers’ sins. Sansa is unhappy about this and she is probably a better king than Jon, or rather, I think they are both good kings but need to team up and respect each other, which she is really keen to do but unfortunately is also a woman so this makes things harder for everyone because they have to unlearn misogyny first.

Then she tells Littlefinger who barges in to their important conversation what would make her so happy was if he shut up and fucked off, and not to bother trying to get the last word, she’ll just assume it was clever. Which is a King’s Landing style burn! Please Jon, show that this queen is not wasted on the north. Also please Littlefinger, fuck off and die.

Scene 4: I collapsed a couple of bits into one there but I am aware that this is too long already because of my Titus Andronicus and Roslove detour, for which I am unrepentant, tune back in next post for more of the same. ANYWAY, here she is, best villain in GoT. She may be evil, but who wouldn’t be in her position? Cersei marches over a map of Westeros telling Jaime she is already 5 moves ahead of him and has an Armada on the way headed by a man who is desperate to impress her. Everyone thinks Jaime is going to kill her, but might she not kill Jaime? She absolutely has no further fucks to give whatsoever and just wants power and revenge and to die a fabulous drunk old evil empress with ten husbands each more devoted and militarily useful than the last. I hope she dies much sooner than that! I also think she will because she can’t be the one to win the game of thrones. Can she?? Could the alcoholic childless widow of the usurper king really win in the end? She could have more children if she could be bothered probably, if she was in a mood to consider dynastic matters. In this scene, she is not, and is just savouring the prospect of ruling the world asap and as bloodily as you like.

Scene 5: And here he fucking is! They really did cut down every tree on the Iron Islands! How did they throw this fleet together so quickly! It does not look like they cut corners! Those boats are fucking terrifying!

Is this even scene 5? Cersei and Jaime are immediately there, standing on the balcony, watching Euron’s terrifying Armada approach. Everything is happening extremely fast. This is not like the midseasons when everyone was walking painfully slowly around the Riverlands. Why do they have to get it all over as quickly as possible? Have they run out of money? I am no less overwhelmed than ever.

Scene 6: Thesp Goth Euron woos Cersei by saying she’s the most beautiful woman in the world and promising to give her a priceless gift to get to her woman’s heart. This is very tacky but it kind of confirms her power as actual queen and is a highpoint so far since the nadir of the Walk of Shame. Do you think the wildfire explosion of all the King’s Landing gentry and the Sparrows was the highpoint? Maybe that was the violence highpoint, and this is the statecraft highpoint. Also Euron’s “gift” is going to be more violence, and he also offers up his “two good hands,” at which Jaime, on behalf of us all, recoils.

Cersei seems likely to graciously accept the first gift before declining the second. Has her Sparrows experience taught her not to unleash forces against her enemies which she then cannot control and which then turn on her? Probably not!

I hate that sleazy prat Euron and can’t believe that Fantasizr drafted him into my Game of Game of Thrones league. Any points I get for him are a badge of shame (I got 15 for this scene).

Scene 7: Sam stars in music video soup poop library montage! Sam during this is confirmed as the fat nerd with a goatee and slicked back hair avatar of the show’s condescending idea of what a GoT fan looks like, corroborating the theory that Sam is actually the narrator / the Perspective from which the story is seen. Sam nicks some useful books after Jim Broadbent tells him he believes but doesn’t care that the White Walkers and the Long Night are coming. There is science going on in the Citadel, medical science involving weighing organs. This science needs to be more applied. Incidentally everyone, Game of Thrones is not medieval, it is Early Modern:

What Martin actually gives us is a fantasy version of what the historian Alfred Crosby called the Post-Columbian exchange: the globalizing epoch of the 16th and 17th centuries. A world where merchants trade exotic drugs and spices between continents, where professional standing armies can number in the tens or hundreds of thousands, where scholars study the stars via telescopes, and proto-corporations like the Iron Bank of Braavos and the Spicers of Qarth control global trade. It’s also a world of slavery on a gigantic scale, and huge wars that disrupt daily life to an unprecedented degree.

[…] even the medieval aesthetics of the show owes a debt to the 16th and 17th centuries. As any scholar of the The Fairie Queene will tell you, Renaissance literature is replete with tales of chivalry, jousting, dragon-slaying, and magic. Writers from Spencer to Cervantes displayed and abiding fascination with these medieval tropes precisely because they were witnessing their demise. And our modern conception of the Middle Ages, which emerged out of the Victorians’ fascination with Neo-Gothic and Pre-Raphaelite aesthetics, was actually based upon these early modern retellings of medieval life.

So why, outside of dorky pedantry, does any of this matter? Because fantasy worlds are never just fantasy. They appeal to us because they refract our own histories and speak to contemporary interests. George R.R. Martin’s fantasy has grown to enormous popularity in part because of its modernity, not its “medieviality.”

Scene 8: Back at Winterfell, we get to see Tormund’s brilliant face he puts on when he looks at Brienne:

To me this is adorable rather than creepy because though Tormund is a sex pest, it feels like this comes from a place of respect and genuine adoration. Also Brienne could dispatch him devastatingly before he knew what was happening and he absolutely knows it.

Actually this scene is where Sansa delivers her burn to Littlefinger, but onwards!

Scene 9: The unforgivable casting and all-round existence of Ed Sheeran aside, this scene was bad because of the insufferably one-dimensional laid-on-thick Simple Honest Country Blokeness of the Lannister soldiers. Arya is obviously considering whether or not to kill them, do you think? But they are so Nice she reconsiders.

The fact that she is still more than capable of affection, forming relationships, caring about people and so on, as also witnessed by that actor mother figure she befriended last season, indicates that despite ongoing trauma (actor murdered horribly in front of her, like all her friends) she is not the cold psycho she sometimes pretends she is. She is not Cersei (yet anyway). This is the point of this scene. Also to confirm that she is working through her list and Cersei is next.

Scene 10: More redemption of traumatised killer characters! The Hound is riding with the Brotherhood Without Banners in a frozen bucolic twilight. What an adorable combo! Lines like “Why are you always in such a foul mood?” “Experience” and “There is no Divine Justice, you dumb cunt. If there was, you’d be dead” indicate that the BwB bring out the best in my bff @lasophus’ favourite character. They stop at the place where The Hound robbed those innocent country folk a few seasons back, as we were reminded of in the excitingly scored Previously sequence at the beginning. They have subsequently died of starvation-related causes as he and Arya predicted they would at the time. The Hound is now sorry and sees a vision in the flames of the Army of the Dead and buries the bodies of his victims and says some adorable words over them. The Hound’s redemption story is much more moving and interesting and spiritual than Jaime’s (a plotline I name “Choozy the Floozy” because of its Manichean orbit around his two love interests Evil Cersei and Good Brienne). But meanwhile the dramatic irony is killing us viewers at home! That poor little girl and her dad are going to rise as wights!!

Scene 11: Sam fails to impress by finding out in the stolen restricted classified high-importance books that he was sent to the Citadel to read something that Stannis already told everyone but they ignored because he was too boring to listen to (what a merciful death that was at the hands of Can She Do No Wrong Brienne): Dragonstone needs to become an opencast Dragonglass mine asap. Which is a pity as Dragonstone is such an arresting work in the ‘dragon-brutalist’ style popular at the time of Aegon the Conquerer (which we will be admiring in the next scene but one). Sam fires off a raven to Jon which I hope will not be intercepted by some library rules-stickler maesters.

Also it’s nice to see Gilly and Little Sam looking so well-dressed and -fed in this scene. Gilly, a sexual abuse survivor subaltern from a wintry hellhole with an evil father and who would otherwise have become an ice zombie by now, is far, far south, in a land where you can still get away with dressing lightly, inside a city which according to awoiaf “is surrounded by massive, thick, high stone walls.” Also their flat looks really nice.

Well done Gilly.

Scene 12: Jorah! Things have not gone well for you! Jorah is an obsessively lovelorn prisoner in a well-regulated, proto-humane leper colony. I guess actually that going to the seat of all worldly learning was a good move, but your terrible disease is going to need more than trolley gruel and a clean cell to be cured. Thankfully Our Sam is wearing gloves when Jorah does his unnecessarily dramatic Ghoul Grab.

Scene 13: Our queen is coming home and everyone has put on eyeliner for the occasion! The general drift of the season’s wardrobe has been towards a kind of moody, shoulderpads-and-eyemakeup, subdued-charcoal-tones vibe. Everyone is looking great. Especially Cersei actually when she was receiving (at safe distance) Euron, and now Daenerys is looking wonderful too, with fine dragony detailing on her the tips of her shoulderpads. Actually Sansa had this look too, “Goth Military Queen” is clearly going to be massive this season.

Daenerys has a moving moment with the Westerosi sand when she comes ashore. We have been waiting 6 seasons for this. Oh my god.

I hope all the dragonglass mining won’t damage these amazing rock formations too much!

This scene is mainly going to be recapped in screenshots.

A gorgeous example of Early Modern Dragon Brutalism.

Art throne

Fucking YES!

#agoiaf #game of thrones #game of thrones recap #dragonstone #s07e01 #recap #tvrecaps #gotrecap #teamros

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