#''this is a homicide and we're not mall cops'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nyaruhodou · 3 years

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let's go over this one more time. time? we ran out of it a while ago. inspector if you cant find the murderer, i suggest wrapping this up. (yeah) my guests and i grow tired of your department's incompetence. shut your monopoly ass up. this is a homicide and we're not mall cops, alright? (the hell?) and right now you're acting like one suspicious milk mustache bitch. who's this asshole? your worst FUCKIN nightmare. you'll have to excuse jimmy here he's a rookie detective from AAU. second team, all state. the killer broke in the room by jumping from the balcony of a neighboring window. self explanatory from there. (oh god no!) c'mon that'sa 20 foot gap. no one could make that! if you 50/50 and boneless off the rail, you can. (dammit.) well you got the 'how', but who did it? goin by the alibis, only one person here coulda done it. yeah, and? ...sitting right there. uhhh i'm in a wheelchair, kid. you might wanna check your math on that one. yeah check your geography. ah shit! you're not crippled!? jesus christ! A-A-R-I-P. alright let's get outta here before SNL starts. fuck you whores! yo hold up! you have the right to remain silent. anything you- jimmy you can't read miranda rights to a corpse. ya did great, kid. now just work on that ego. what good's bein the one if you're the only one who knows it? (you got that from j. cole.) (i wanna waterboard my dad.) (ayyyy 103.4, the whitest hip hop on air.) oh, god. hey man, it's 2 pm, could you keep it down? oh sorry, jimmy, i was just making pipe bombs out of 4loko and nail polish. sick. (and i'm sick and tired of your bitchass boyfriend, too!) (dad, just chill the fuck out.) god damn dammit! gahhhh! he's the first world famous sleuth out of high school. ehhh he's a fuckin hack. what, just cuz he's young? you know who else came out of high school? lebron james. guess what happened to him. ummmmm, well- GUESS!!! what happened to lebron james, dad? lost the FUCKIN NBA finals! alright. RAGHHHHHH! i still don't get why you quit the soccer team. cuz soccer's bullshit. i dunno, you were pretty good. (i like classical music.) yeah but it's like sherlock holmes always said: any sport where you can't use your hands is conservative propaganda. ...yeah. you might not realize it but sherlock was on some next level shit. y-yknow, here's a dude who played violin AND made the double snapback fashionable. that downey jr movie kinda sucked? yeah maybe but sherlock didn't get this fanmail. how many of those girls are 18? oh.... (fuck, my tic-tacs). why did we come here again? it's fun. this place is for babies. so by 1989 sherlock was number ONE in the country, the youngest in the history- jimmy i really don't give a shit. oh did i mention roller coasters are stupid? let's ride this joint. how the hell d'you get decapitated on a roller coaster. we didn't do nothin, let us go. walking around a theme park in a trench coat makes you suspect for anything. like, i bit my tongue five minutes ago and i think you did it. (he's lookin for trouble.) okay, so 5 passengers but only 3 of em had the reach to do it. what do ya think, jimmy? i already got it figured out. oh, yeah? well then, who? the killer is... that chick! ehh...... she was further away than anyone, what the FUCK are you talkin about!? lemme show you. it's true. if i couldn't have him, nobody can, so i KILLED him! a-actually, i was just joking, but, y'know, way to confess without a lawyer. (fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!) hey i know we're in babyland but you don't have to act like one too. someone just DIED, jimmy. jeez, all your video games made you a sociopath. huh? hm... hey i know you're in need but i gotta jump a bitch, see ya! what the hell, ma? (jimmy... those are nice MN3s.) hey there man, you got the stuff? yeah, i got the stuff. you wanna see it? lay it on me, large man. alright here it is: ten million unmarked dave and buster's bucks. yeah. alright now your end of the deal. the fuck are you doin? huh? ngh! eric, what the hell! sorry dylan i didn't know he was followin me! don't worry about it i got the black market's newest poison.

one cap of this and he's gone for good. get your heavy head over here. yeahhhh drink that kool-aid jammer. aight lets get the fuck outta here. ey ya heard that? yeah it sounded like a coupla trench coats. (ugh... oh my god...) ah nah its just some boy. ('boy', am i in fuckin georgia?) dont worry boy we'll take ya home. (i'm white but this still feels racist.) eyyyyyyy what's goin on? jesus christ what'd you DO all night? Not Another Teen Movie marathon. wh- they only made one of those! yeah, i watched it 3 times. y'know if molly ringwald died in the 80s she'd be like meryl streep right now. that almo... no that didn't make any sense. (what were those cops calling me again?) huh? what!? (oh, that's great.) shit! why- what the... oh, wait... (those trench coat guys... that poison they had...) i really gotta get home. (ey you've reached the jim jam jimmy man always detective signed to young money ymca represent) oh, no. it's been 5 years and he still hasn't changed his answering machine. told you your boyfriend was a fuckin mathlete moron. hngggggh ngh huh? ah shit! doc, what's going on? who are you? what are you talking about? it's me, jimmy. yeah very funny, run along. no, i'm not fuckin around! you're dr randy agasa. 53 years old. you make bullshit experiments and collect checks from the government. wha- why would jimmy tell you a thing like that!? I'M jimmy, you fat, four-eyed, fuck-faced loser! eh- only jimmy makes me feel THAT insecure. but yeah that's one helluva trip, man. yeah why do you have clothes for 6 year olds lying around? jimmy just do me a favor and NEVER ASK THAT AGAIN. (anyone home?) huh? quick, hide! hey, what are you doing here. oh you know, just fuckin around with my desk. grrrr.... huh? you tryin to hide something? uh... hey there, what's your name? co... nan.... yeah conan. conan? kid, your parents suck. they do! social services dumped him off on me as his only living relative. well that's rough. you can stay with us if you want. would you like that, conan? uh, no? (this is bullshit.) so like, what do you do for fun? uhhhh nothing much. do you have a girlfriend? do you have a restraining order? what's this? your new home. oh, cool. (smells like cup noodles with bleach.) rachel you'll never believe what happened- fuckin shit! new job, new client. hop yourself in the cab, bring the kid too! wow, alright. taxi!!! mm! wait up! so we hopped in the cab to check out some case with a rich guy's daughter kidnapped and jesus christ, money makes people CRAZY. some shit went down and uh, long story short, i live with my girlfriend and her dad rent free.

and it's a pretty sweet deal.

#taste closed thursday

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reading-writing-revolution · 4 years

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Heather Cox Richardson

August 31, 2020 (Monday)

A bird's eye view of the country today sees a president seeming to slide off the rails. Trump is exaggerating the violence in cities to the point of caricature, while his supporters outright lie to try to advance his candidacy. On Thursday, Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway tipped the president’s hand on “Fox and Friends” when she said that “the more chaos and anarchy and vandalism and violence reigns, the better it is for” a candidate running on “law and order.”

In the wake of the Republican National Convention, which failed to boost his candidacy, Trump has been tweeting at an intense pace. Between 5:49 am and 8:04 am on Sunday, he tweeted or retweeted 89 messages, many of them inflaming the conflicts between protesters and his supporters. He retweeted a post from One America News claiming that “According to the mainstream media, the riots & extreme violence are completely unorganized. However, it appears this coup attempt is led by a well funded network of anarchists trying to take down the President.”

Yesterday, the president called the participants in the Portland “Trump cruise rally” “GREAT PATRIOTS!” and today called them “peaceful,” despite the fact they were shooting paintballs and pepper spray and driving vehicles into crowds. Today the president condemned what he called “the radical left,” but refused to condemn Trump supporter Kyle Rittenhouse, the seventeen-year-old who allegedly shot and killed two people and wounded a third with a friend’s AR-15 rifle (meaning Rittenhouse had it illegally) in Kenosha, Wisconsin last week. Trump suggested Rittenhouse, who has been charged with homicide, was “very violently attacked” by demonstrators (video does not indicate this). Trump supporters, including Fox News Channel personality Tucker Carlson, have also defended Rittenhouse.

This afternoon, Trump claimed that Portland, Oregon “is ablaze.” Josh Campbell, a CNN law enforcement correspondent on the ground in Portland and a former FBI supervisory special agent, called this "a lie."

Campbell told CNN: "Portland is not a city under siege. Today, I went to a Starbucks downtown, ate lunch at one of the city's famous downtown food trucks, and bought a new pair of shoes at the mall. As I write this, I'm looking out of my hotel room at a bike tour riding by outside on the downtown street…. To be sure, there have been protests -- peaceful during the daytime, and some turning violent at night -- for over 90 days, but the rioting has largely been confined to one city block downtown near the federal courthouse. Last night, protesters showed up at a police precinct a few miles from downtown and were dispersed by police after some protesters started throwing eggs and rocks at police cars. There has been periodic, localized violence, but nothing widespread."

Portland firefighter Lt. Rich Chatman agreed: “WE ARE NOT ABLAZE IN PORTLAND,” he texted to CNN reporter Daniel Dale. “There is a very isolated pocket of demonstrations that have involved fire… none of which have been substantial enough to need more than 1 fire engine.”

Trump’s vision of the world is getting more and more conspiratorial. Tonight in an interview with Fox News Channel personality Laura Ingraham, he claimed that “people that are in the dark shadows” are controlling Biden. He claimed this weekend there was an airplane full of “thugs” in “black uniforms,” out “to do big damage.” When Ingraham pressed for more information, he said: “I’ll tell you sometime but it’s under investigation.” Ingraham said: “That sounds like conspiracy theory.”

To push these ideas, Trump and his people are deliberately constructing a false narrative.

Trump’s YouTube channel is now home to a video featured at the Republican National Convention on Monday, showing rioting and a city in flames and implying those scenes are America in the past several months. In the film, one sister tells another that “This is a taste of Biden’s America,” as photos and videos of violence play. “The rioting, the crime. Freedom is at stake now and this is going to be the most important election of our lifetime.” In fact, the video is from Barcelona, Spain, in 2019.

Twitter has had to begin displaying warning labels on videos that have been “quote tweeted” (meaning users don’t simply retweet them, they add their own words, first), after leading Republican officials have circulated deceptively altered or edited videos, designed to hurt Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s candidacy.

House Minority Whip Steve Scalise tweeted a video that spliced together footage from an conversation between Biden and progressive activist Ady Barkan, who speaks with an artificial voice because he has ALS. The video added words to what Barkan actually said to make it sound as if the two were agreeing to defund police departments (in fact, Biden has proposed to increase police funding to include more money for “social workers, psychologists, people who in fact can handle those god-awful problems that a cop has to have four degrees to handle”). To the video, Scalise added "No police. Mob rule. Total chaos. That's the result of the Democrat agenda."

Barkan tweeted to Scalise: “These are not my words. I have lost my ability to speak, but not my agency or my thoughts. You and your team have doctored my words for your own political gain. Please remove this video immediately. You owe the entire disability community an apology.” Josh Marshall of TalkingPointsMemo was angry on Barkan’s behalf: “[Steve Scalise] you’re a disgrace. Who even imagines the depravity of doctoring the words of a man robbed of his voice by ALS let alone stoops to do it” he tweeted.

Twitter labeled the tweet with a warning and, under pressure, Scalise took it down, but not before tweeting: “While Joe Biden clearly said 'yes,' twice, to the question of his support to redirect money away from police, we will honor the request of [Barkan] and remove the portion of his interview from our video."

Today, White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Communications and Director of Social Media Dan Scavino also posted a manipulated video, this one supposedly showing Biden falling asleep during a live television interview. But it was a mix of an old video of singer Harry Belafonte, apparently napping before an interview while technical glitches were worked out, and Biden looking downward for a moment. Twitter had to break out another warning, and Belafonte simply said: “They keep stooping lower and lower. A technical glitch in an interview I did nine years ago now becomes another one of their lies, more of their fake news. I beg every sane American: please vote them out. I knew many who gave their life for the right to vote. Never has it been so vital to exercise that right.”

The Trump campaign wasn’t done yet, though: on Monday it also tweeted a clip of Biden saying “You won’t be safe in Joe Biden’s America.” But in fact, when he said that, Biden was quoting the president and vice president. The full quotation was: “Trump and Pence are running on this, and I find it fascinating: Quote, 'You won't be safe in Joe Biden's America.' And what's their proof? The violence we're seeing in Donald Trump's America.”

Biden accused Trump of “fanning the flames of hate and division in our society and using the politics of fear to whip up his supporters.”

Apparently trying to link Biden to a radical left, Trump continues to demand that Biden must condemn “the Anarchists, Thugs & Agitators in ANTIFA,” and Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO) has tried to tie Biden to “the Marxist Left.” It would be a stretch to link the famously moderate Biden with any sort of far left in America in any case, but, in fact, Biden has repeatedly condemned violence across the board. “I condemn violence of every kind by anyone, whether on the left or the right,” he said Sunday. Today he added: “I want to make it absolutely clear…. Rioting is not protesting. Looting is not protesting. Setting fires is not protesting. . . . It’s lawlessness, plain and simple, and those who do it should be prosecuted. Violence will not bring change, it’ll only bring destruction. It’s wrong in every way.”

Trump's America

The message that Trump is responsible for the unrest in the country is resonating with voters. A Military Times poll showed that almost 74% of active duty military personnel opposed Trump’s desire to use them against civil unrest in urban areas, while only 22% supported that idea. That opposition seems to be translating to voting preferences: 41.3% of active duty military personnel support Biden in the upcoming election, while 37.4 support Trump.

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incorrect-egos-quotes · 5 years

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Mark: Detective, if you can't find the murderer I suggest wrapping this up. My guests and I grow tired of your department's incompetence.

Abe: Shut your monopoly-ass up. This is a homicide and we're not mall cops, alright? And right now you're acting like one suspicious milk-mustache bitch.

Mark: Who's this asshole?

Abe: Your worst fucking nightmare.

#abe the detective #wkm mark #markiplier #actor Mark #incorrect quotes #source: taste closed

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politics-and-philosophy · 5 years

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Ok, so I know that I'm supposed to be weirded out by the fact that this person clearly created a random brand-new tumblr just to message me anonymously, but honestly, I'm honored.

Look, this tumblr is straight-up blank, aside from the header photo. Is that a homemade handgun btw? It looks like it. Honestly though, I just feel kinda honored. Because this person is either scared enough of me to want anonymity (I can't see why) or scared enough of the reprisal they would face on their main blog (this one makes more sense).

So, again, let's go point-by-point.

I don't think the government should have control over who owns a gun in the same way I don't think the government should have control over who lives and dies. I think that gun ownership should be restricted constitutionally, by removing and replacing the second amendment. In this new amendment, I want only three types of individuals to be allowed to own guns:

1. Those in remote areas who require guns for survival.

2. Collectors of historic guns who can only load and fire them on shooting ranges.

3. Active duty military personnel deployed in foreign soil, and domestic soil only during a foreign invasion.

This list notably excludes cops, active duty military on domestic soil, security details, sport hunters, and everyone else. I have said all this before though.

This would not give a monopoly on power to the government, in fact, it would significantly stymie the power the government already has over people by removing the threat of firearms.

Personally, I think this would stop almost all gun violence, not just mass shootings. The majority of gun killings are committed with guns which were once legally owned (the US is a net exporter of illegal firearms, mostly to Mexico, due to our lax gun laws). Furthermore, while 4 in 5 gun homicides are committed with a gun not owned by the perpetrator, that's not the end of the story. 30% of those guns are stolen, but of those 30%, over 4 in 10 are not reported stolen until after a crime is committed, and 44% of gun owners whose guns were stolen did not respond to attempts to be contacted by police. Of the other 70%, reported lost, in 62% of instances, the legal owner of the gun was unaware of where or when the gun was lost. That is a staggering number of people who are reckless with firearm safety.

A large part of this is due to shoestring purchases, where someone who passes a legal background check will go and buy a gun for someone who wouldn't, or to then go and sell it at an upcharge on the black market, only to claim it lost or stolen when it shows up at a crime scene. The legal gun market directly supports and enables both gun crime and the illegal gun market. Making it more difficult to legally get a gun will make it exponentially more difficult to illegally acquire a gun. More on this later.

Mass shootings are a small percentage of total deaths, but these deaths are unique in how horrible, violent, and early in a person's life they come. They are always the direct result of hate, and are a uniquely American problem within the developed world. Unlike robbery murders or even homicides motivated by passion, mass shootings don't target a specific individual. They seek to kill a group of people indiscriminately. Essentially, they're a violent hate crime, almost always motivated by a right-wing view of society and a belief that violence solves problems.

It's also laughable that the ownership of a gun somehow puts you on even footing with the government. Do you know how much firepower the government has? Even military grade weapons are useless against an actual military.

Ok, here's Oxford's definition of a civil right:

Please go read this. Civil rights are rights of society and politics. They are things such as voting rights, marriage rights, freedom from religious infringement in your life, right to exist in society and politics. Gun ownership is no more a civil right than is the right to smoke crack.

America has a gun violence epidemic, compared to the rest of the world, and even compared among the states.

Here's a fun graph comparing gun violence and gun ownership among first world countries.

Here's a graph comparing gun violence and gun regulation within the United States:

Ok, finally, on to fascism. So, let's start from the top and work our way to different outcomes. We have our first decision at "Is the current gun violence rate and mass shooting epidemic within the US worth fixing?" Personally, I think yes. If you think no, I invite you to tell that to anyone who lost a family member in a mass shooting and see if you don't get punched.

Having resolved yes, we move onto what to do. There are three real solutions.

1. Increase of law enforcement

2. Increase of surveillance

3. Regulation of firearms

Notably, mental health reforms is left off this list. I've addressed that several times in other posts. In summary, mass shooters don't seek mental services and the majority of perpetrators aren't mentally ill, they're disillusioned with society.

Now, as a liberal and specifically a social liberal, I hate fascism and think that among the political ideologies out there fascism and authoritarianism are a special kind of evil. In general, I see it as better to have a large government which serves the people instead of a small government which oppresses the people. A lot of conservatives, especially anarco-capitalists, think that a small government is necessarily less oppressive, but that is not true. Governments can be large, but if they are beholden to a citizenship, they'll obey said citizens. Small governments who are isolated from the populace easily turn towards oppression.

But I digress. Let's start with the first choice, and see where it takes us. For this exercise, we'll be assuming that when the government is given control over a certain aspect of our lives, they'll want to increase that control. So, we increase the law enforcement in all major metropolitan areas, meaning armed guards at malls, churches, movie theaters, schools, etc. And even though mass shootings still occur when armed guards are present (Parkland) or when police arrive on scene within the minute (El Paso), it's okay because we get to keep our guns, everybody has a gun so everyone is safe. This is basically a police state. The scary thing is conservatives have actually proposed this. Sean Hannity said on live TV that we need to place armed guards at every public area. And if you don't trust the government, how the hell could you trust the armed guards they have stationed outside the grocery store.

Next solution is increased surveillance. If access to guns is to remain unrestricted, then we need to be able to find the killers before they kill. What do all of the mass shooters have in common? An internet history rife with extremism and alt-right views. So, screen everyone. And go ahead and start censoring people who have those views too, just to be safe. But once we have a suspected shooter, how can we know when they're about to commit murder? You can't arrest someone for fitting a profile. So, you start tracking them, looking through their purchases, making sure they aren't trying to get someone to buy them a firearm, following them, watching them. Even if all they did is post on the internet with no intent, now the government knows their every move. And suddenly, the small minor infractions that everyone commits daily start to add up. So, one agent decides to hell with it, let's just bust him early for something, anything we can make stick. This isn't a hypothetical, either. There are countless stories of cops falsifying evidence just to make the arrest because they believe an innocent person is guilty.

Finally, firearm regulation. Now here you might think that if you lose your firearm, you lose your safety. Ignoring for a moment that I specifically advocated for law enforcement to not have firearms, if you genuinely think you are safer with a gun than without it, you are wrong. The mindset that, without your gun, there's nothing to stop the government from trampling your rights ignores the fact that even with your gun, there's nothing really stopping the government from trampling your rights, because the government has a lot more guns than you and they're a lot bigger. Now, perhaps you think that having an armed populace means a resistance or insurgency is possible. Ignoring that the government could squash any insurgency within the US, who even says the insurgents are on your side politically? What's stopping them from rising up right now? The same thing that's stopping the government from killing any dissidents: the fact that we live in a society and without it the government would collapse. Often times people speak as though the government is some separate entity when in reality in America every single person who us eligible to vote or pays taxes is a member of the government. We are the power base of the government, and to distinguish between the citizens of the US and the government if the US is a real gray area, because the government can't exist without the economic base that is our society. You called us sheep but we aren't sheep, we're the golden goose and you never ever kill the golden goose. The government won't come to put us all in camps because they'd wake up broke the next day. And even if they did, your gun wouldn't stop them, it just means they'd kill you.

When you arm everyone, you arm EVERYONE. Not just the lawful responsible owner, but the mass shooter, the murderer, the rapist, the insurgents on both the right and the left, the domestic terrorists, the gang bangers, the government sympathizers, the government itself, everyone. And while obviously it's not every gun owner, it could be any gun owner. And any realistic way to distinguish the difference between a responsible individual looking to own a gun and a mass shooter arming up is with a level of invasiveness that should make you incredibly uncomfortable. This is what I mean when I talk about surveillance.

Let's come to a conclusion here, because this post has gotten quite long.

The idea that you could amass enough firepower to resist the government is not reasonable. What protects you from the government is not weaponry but anonymity. Currently, our system has both, but having both allows criminals and murderers to readily access firearms and kill people. So, since the weaponry isn't protecting us anyway, might as well get rid of it and save some lives.

EDIT: The blog that sent these messages no longer exists, and I don't have access to them anymore, so I'm glad I screenshoted when I did. Kinda confirms my suspicion that they just wanted to anonymously harass me. Oh well, nothing as predictable as a coward.

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