#❤︎₊ ⊹┊ pocketful of stars. ( musings )

[himedachi]

#♛ °˖ ┊ heavy is the head that wears the crown. ( musings ) #❤︎₊ ⊹┊ pocketful of stars. ( musings ) #☾₊ ⊹ ┊ live for the thrill. ( musings ) #☆⋆｡┊ firefly sparks. ( musings ) #♡ ┆ can you hear my heart? ( musings ) #ain't this is a mood #tbf i think most of my muses would go here but these 5 are possibly the ones who relate the most to this statement

[chemdisaster]

so...i died. and, like a fool, accidentally pulled the cord of my computer, thus destroying all the footage.

but of course, what matters most is the good times i had while playing on 5llsmp. so in honour of that, i've written a little fic about chem dealing with the aftermath of their death and everything they did to get to that point.

i died to a warden btw. stiff's warden. thank you stiff ❤

None of it matters in the end. 

In the end, they die alone. 

They die, and their body disappears with them.

They die, and the enchanter is cold in their inventory. 

They die, and they die for nothing. 

Somewhere far away, a red poppy is placed down with shaking hands. 

Chem dies, and the world moves on. 

.

.

.

.

.

After it all, everyone hugs.

Chem doesn't join in. They've never really liked hugs, and that's what they try to tell themselves as they watch all the other members of the death game embrace. Tearful words being exchanged, all grudges are forgotten in favour of reunion and forgiveness.

Not for Chem. Never them. 

The feathers they give to every single person are an apology and a promise to do better. Melou burns his, but that is to be expected. Stiff nods and tucks the feather in their pocket, and they don't say a word.

Zera throws it in their face. Chem doesn't blame them. A ways away from everyone else, they sit on cold stone and dwell on their mistakes. 

The enchanter did nothing for them in the end. 

Neither friends, nor resources mean a thing in the face of a sonically-charged shriek. Death waits for no one, and Chem is special only in that they're a fool. They had the opportunity to make the most of being trapped by inevitability, and they dug themselves in a deeper hole instead. 

A pit. 

They were always going to end up alone, weren't they?

The voices are gone. It's just them and their own thoughts now. Chem has never hated silence more. 

Caught up in their woeful musings, they almost don't notice when Star sits down next to them, turning a brown feather over in their hands. 

Chem doesn't say anything, continuing to trace vague shapes in the stone with their eyes. Star doesn't leave, but does not break the quiet, either. 

Eventually, Chem sighs.

“I can’t cry, you know."

No response. For the first time, they look up, and there's a bitter kind of honesty in their voice when they carry on, "You can’t hug me and make it all better.”

Star gazes at the scene in front of them for a moment, then smiles. 

“I can try.”

Chem's breath stutters. They glance at them and the sincerity in their expression causes something raw and vulnerable to make a home in their chest. 

They can't cry, but their voice cracks anyway as they ask, "Why are you still here?"

Star meets their eyes. A flower crown of red poppies rests atop their head. 

"We're friends."

Suddenly, it feels like maybe the dried blood on Chem's upper arms wasn't for nothing. Shuddering, clawed fingers running over patches where majestic feathers used to be, their head drops. 

Star gets them. Star gets them and Star is still here and if they look far enough away, they fancy that they can almost see one of their many cracks start to fill with gold. 

Chem does not touch Star. But they do move closer to them. And they think that maybe they get that, too.

#5llsmp #5llsmp fanfic #5llsmp chem #5llsmp star #5ll chem #5ll star #worddisaster

[himedachi]

tag dump.

#❤︎₊ ⊹┊ dawnstar scioness. ( aika ) #❤︎₊ ⊹┊ pocketful of stars. ( musings ) #❤︎₊ ⊹┊ antithetical primadonna. ( character ) #❤︎₊ ⊹┊ delightful aria. ( musica ) #❤︎₊ ⊹┊ in a storm in my best dress. ( aesthetic )