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satellitespinner · 26 days

Text

✼ mommy issues .. (two)

a/n: PLEASE READ CONTENT WARNINGS ! holy gyat i just ate good chilli and it made me wanna get pregnant ANYWAYS.. i was gonna add spice but i found out the girl i like had a crush on a dude so you get more angst:) enjoy

content warnings: ANGST readers child is described to have curly hair, reader is of spanish speaking descent. (or atleast speaks it.) we on some white people shit lowk… ellie is good with kids😍😍😍😍😍 reader works in a hospital! you kids lowk an ass.. ellie has another panic attack. ellie still sad. CANADA MENTIONED RAAAHHHHHHHH cat brought up!!!! we almost get a kith…. this bitch is not proofread

wc: 4.4k

taglist @flowersforvi @ellslvr @saturnsdrafts @3lli3l0v3r @williamssgirl @liasxeatt @adelaide013 @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliessweetheart @pedropascalsbbg @ellies2missingfingers @nelzooo @r3starttt @jaeminpookie @onlinelesbo @tphmnv @p4ison1vy @pascals-doll @snowy-vee @diddiqueen @littlegingerperson5 @ellieslob @elliessluutt @macaroni676

a few days later ellie finds herself sitting in a booth at her work with her two colleagues. tonight was the first time she was going to babysit your son, and she was terrified

she found that in this moment was the first time her thoughts weren’t plagued of joel since he died.

“i swear! not even light years could dim such a woman.” ellie describes you as if you were a goddess. well, to her you were.

“can you shut the fuck up with that weird space shit and talk like a normal person?”

jesse scolds jokingly. he winces in pain as dina’s foot meets his shin under the table.

“whatever, dude. it’s true.” the girl sulks.

“hey! speaking of space nerd shit. how’s school going, el?” dina asks with a smile on her face.

little did she know the mere mention of school caused gut plummeting anxiety for ellie.

“uhh, it’s good. it’s- school, you know?.” ellie mutters, there isn’t much to say. besides the fact that she’s gonna fail if she doesn’t scrape together a thousand dollars for fucking textbooks.

sometimes ellie wondered if dina struggled with money. she works this shitty waitressing job for twenty bucks an hour, and she has a son. but then again, she didn’t have the burden of school on top of all her other responsibilities.

the table goes quiet after ellie’s response. she’s not one to open up about her personal life. she only told dina about joel dying a few weeks ago.

joel. joel.

ellies mind clouds over. like a switch that clicked, making her go from happy to sad in a matter of seconds. she was always like that.

“ellie?” she hears a feminine voice break her out of her trance. a sympathetic expression on dina’s face when ellie looks up at her.

“sorry. what did you say?” she throws in a fake smile to distract from the fact that she was on the brink of another panic attack.

the last time she had a panic attack at work she was so embarrassed she didn’t come in for a week.

“i asked if you needed a ride tonight. y’know cause of the baby sitting.” dina offers, again.

ellie thinks about arguing with the girl, but she decides against it. knowing she’ll just end up in dina’s passenger seat anyway.

“yeah that would be awesome. thanks.” ellie couldn’t help but feel even more guilty every time dina offered. she felt like she was taking advantage of her. even though she knew she wasn’t.

ellie huffs out of her cheeks before standing up from the booth. “time to get back to work.” she jokingly frowns. causing jesse to laugh.

“it was time to get back to work 10 minutes ago.” he corrects in a ‘told you so’ tone as they start walking back to their designated areas.

“fuck off.” she peers, stopping so dina can catch up to them. she sticks her tongue out at jesse when dina places a hand on her shoulder.

“what a gentlewoman, she’s gonna love you.” she whispers and shoots ellie a wink. leaving ellie flustered yet rolling her eyes.

6:45

you had to be at work in an hour and your son was not cooperating.

“felix!” you shriek, the child was running around with a cheeto you gave him 3 hours ago. you fight the urge to laugh at his un styled curls and grimey face, but your stern mom facade over rode.

“¡vuelve aquí niño sucio!”

(“come back here dirty boy”)

he continued to run wild like a chicken with no head. you start to get sick of his behavior and put your foot down.

“felix. now.”

he stops in his tracks at your stern tone. he sulks as he makes his way to you. you smile at his obedience.

you take his gross cheeto and toss it into the trash. he pouts at your action which causes you to scoff. “put that lip away, chiquito.” you tease him.

he lightens up fast. his sad attitude being replaced with a toothy smile. it was infectious. whenever he was happy, you were happy.

“there we go!” you laugh as you zip up his sweater. he scrambles away before you could wipe the dirt off of his face. you sigh.

you picked your battles with him.

you decided to shoot ellie a quick text, hoping to prepare her for your crazy kid.

ellie’s running around the house in hopes to baby-proof the place when she gets a text from you.

sexy neighbor: hey ellie! he’s almost ready, and please excuse the dirt on his face. i promise i’m not a bad mom lol.

she smiles and begins to type back.

ellie: all good haha, is there any specific allergies or things you need done tonight?

she shuts off her phone and continues to clean up, moving the whiskey on the counter into the high parts of her cupboard.

she runs to her room and changes into a pair of gray sweats and a clean hoodie.

sexy neighbor: nope no allergies! could you make him dinner? if it’s to big of an ask i can totally send something! just say the word.

ellie: oh absolutely. i already planned to make him dinner anyway.

sexy neighbor: oh wow thank you so much, you’re going to be a great babysitter i’m sure 😉

ellie’s cheeks heat up at the text. you were such a mom. she thought to herself. she was just going to like the message when another comes through.

sexy neighbor: he is insisting to bring his coloring supplies. i hope that’s okay..?

ellie: oh wow were going to get along well. that’s totally fine :)

sexy neighbor: thanks sweetheart

a few minutes ellie’s front door is being knocked on by a small hand. when she opens the door she’s met with a backpack clad felix and you. in scrubs.

“hi!” she exclaimed as soon as she opened the door, her words mostly directed at the young boy.

“hello!” your son replies quickly. “i brought toys for us to play with!” she tells her, like he’s known her forever.

“oh thank god.” she puts a hand over her heart as she crouches down to his level.

“toys r’ scarce around here..” she warns. felix looks at her confused, but you laugh.

ellie stands up and puts out her hand for the boy to take, which he does. you smile at the interaction before crouching down to him.

“te amo, cariño” you gently whispered into his ear as you give him a small peck.

you stand up quickly and pull ellie in for a quick hug as well.

“thank you, again.” you sighed into the hug as you expressed your gratitude. ellie smiled at you. she really wanted to kiss you right now.

“don’t sweat it, now get going mom. you’re gonna be late!” she jokes as she looks down at your son.

“you’re right. i should go.” you make your way to the car and get in. you roll down your window and blew kisses at your son, who was now in ellie’s arms. you shoot ellie a wink before taking off.

ellie puts your son down, keeping his hand interlocked with hers as she takes him inside.

“hey kid, does your mom speak spanish?”

—————————————————————-

you found yourself immediately trusting ellie when you first met her. her green eyes reminded you of your own sons.

you saw yourself in her quite a bit, you could tell she was hurting. when she opened up to you that night in your kitchen about her father you could tell.

she told you she had grown up without a mother and all you could think about was nurturing and comforting her like she deserved.

you also saw the way she looked at you.

ellie found great comfort in your sons presence. he distracted her from her usual routine, which wasn’t the healthiest..

currently, felix had ellie drawing each one of his toy cars.

“like this?” she asks, flipping the paper to show him her drawing of a red car.

“no!” he denies before showing his own. a paper full of scribbles with his name poorly printed at the top.

“ohhh.. i see.” she says before flipping the paper back to herself and scribbling atop her original drawing.

“like this?” she asks once again.

“yes!” he confirms. ellie laughs at his childish antics.

the boy had requested a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner around 8:30.

“yeah i could go for a grilled cheese right now.” ellie agrees as she pats his head.

ellie had mastered the art of cooking before she was 14. when joel started fostering her the first thing she asked him was if she could use the kitchen.

although she would do anything to do that for her career, in this economy there was no chance. so she settled on astrophysics. and boy was it expensive.

she just hoped that everything would work out and she could make joel proud.

your shift was fucking exhausting. first, some random psych patient spit in your face. then, you spilt coffee all over yourself not even halfway through the night.

you were ready to go home and see your baby.

you had texted ellie a few times throughout the night for updates and she replied with something positive every time.

ellie next door: yeah he’s fine don’t worry! hes coloring right now.

you: awh that’s my boy. i hope he’s not being to much.

ellie next door: nope not too much at all

ellie next door: *one attachment*

he says hi mama !

you: oh my god aweeeeeee you two are so cute.

you smiled and saved the image to your camera roll without hesitation. it was a picture of your son at ellie’s kitchen table, markers and paper littered her table.

the reflection of her on the black television caught her smiling widely as he waved at the camera.

you: did he eat anything yet?

ellie next door: yep! he requested a grilled cheese. he also had some snacks earlier.

you: perfectttt you’re a life saver!

ellie contemplates how she should respond to your message. she could start flirting or she could img fucking chill and be normal.

she chose the latter.

ellie next door: haha! it’s really no problem :)

ellie had put your son to bed in her bedroom rather than the couch. the kid had toddled in there before ellie could reach him.

she tried to chase him down but his curiosity made him fast and sneaky.

“get back here lil’ man!” she giggles as his tiny feet smack against the hardwood floors.

he giggles as he ran away from her, running into the first open door he sees, that being ellie’s room.

he was awestruck by the many comic book posters and the guitar in the corner of the room was where he was headed.

before ellie grabbed him, that is.

“i don’t think so.” she laughs as she picks him up with ease. gently tossing him onto the bed.

“you have a boys room. but you’re a girl.” the boy points out, not in a bad way. ellie could tell he was just stating what he saw.

“yeah thanks for telling me i didn’t know.”

by the time you arrived home the sun was about to come up, and you were fucking exhausted. you contemplated asking ellie to keep him the rest of the night, but you didn’t.

your kid, your responsibility. you reminded yourself. as you knocked on ellie’s door.

pajama clad ellie opens the door with a smile, welcoming you in immediately.

“hey ellie, how was it?” you ask with a yawn. she guides you over to her kitchen island. her house layout almost identical to yours.

ellie smiles and describes her night with your son in great detail. your heart melts at the way her face lights up during certain points of her story. she recalls how she chased him around after dinner and he insisted on sleeping in her room.

your reach into your purse and searched your wallet, you spoke as your hands fumbled in your bag.

“i really cannot thank you enough,” you begin, finally pulling out your wallet and pulling out a few twenties for ellie. she looks confused as you try to pass them to her, putting her hands out to decline.

“you already paid me, remember?” you nod - urging her to take the extra cash.

“i just wanted to give you a little extra.” you smile and ellie almost cries. she held it together though, she probably told you thank you about forty times before you laughed and told her it wasnt a problem.

ellie lead you to her bedroom to retrieve your son, who was dead asleep underneath her planet print bedsheets. ellies cheeks turned pink when you giggled and said; “nice sheets, el.”

you tried to gently wake your son but he wasn't having it. you grabbed his arm to pull him out of the bed. he groans and slides himself underneath the covers. you are fully on your knees at this point. “i swear, if you embarrass me.” you threaten in a whisper so ellie didn't hear, she still did.

ellie chuckled lowly. “he can sleep here, its pretty late anyways.” she smiled.

you slightly bit your lip. “are you sure?” it wasn't ellie that you didn't trust, it was your kid. ellie wasn't hearing it.

“positive.”

sleepovers at ellies became a recurring thing after that. your son was so excited everytime she babysat and it made your heart so full.

this time in particular your son was extra excited. ellie had promised him ice cream for not putting up a fight to leave the previous time.

usually she greeted you at the door with a smile and a hug. but this time she didn’t answer at all..

“mama where’s ellie?” your son asked. “i don’t know baby.” you reply with a raise of your eyebrow.

you saw her arrive home, you two even spoke briefly before she went in to unwind. she seemed dull today.

you knew something wasn’t right so you decided to go in. your son followed you close behind. you sat him on the couch and advised him not to move.

the house was dark. you slowly stepped down the hallway.

“ellie? honey?” you called out, to your surprise there was no reply. a shiver crept up your spine.

you walked until you were faced with her bedroom door. it was slightly open. so you knocked before you stepped inside.

“ellie?”

the door cracked open as you entered. you didn’t know what to expect but it definitely wasn’t that.

ellie was laying in her bed, fetal position. sobbing her brains out. you were surprised you didn’t hear her when you were walking down the hall.

she gasped for air as you rushed to her. you sit down and sit her up so her back is against the headboard.

“shh, you’re okay. i’m here.” those words, although comforting triggered even more tears to fall. she didn’t know what she was doing.

the girl screamed in your arms for what felt like forever and you just sat there and held her. you whispered sweet words into her ears and rubbed circles on her back.

eventually your son had run through the door. a little gasp leaving his lips at the sight of ellie.

“ellie are you okay!?” he practically screamed in her face. you took your free hand and tried to shove him out the door.

ellie’s loud cries turned into soft sniffles as he wouldn’t leave. your son practically jumped onto her to try and make her feel better. your heart drops but ellie just laughs and pulls him into a deep hug.

ellie looks to you as your son babbles absolute nonsense into her shoulder.

“i’m really sorr-“ she starts, but you instantly cut her off.

“absolutely none of that.” you say, in your mom voice. her eyes widen at your tone.

“can you stay with els while i make a quick phone call?” you ask your son. he stands up tall. “yes!” he nods as if he were superman. you and ellie both laugh.

ellie knew exactly what put her in that position. her entire day was fucked from the beginning.

she should've called out of work when she woke up from a dream nightmare about joel.

she couldn’t stop thinking about the dream while doing her morning routine, or skating to work. which ended with her on the ground and her board in half.

if that wasn’t enough, while she was on her shift her ex walks in.

“you’ve got to be kidding me.” she whisper-yells as she watches the black haired, tattoo ridden girl takes a seat. with a new girl.

there was no way in hell she was going to serve them. she couldn’t ask dina, her table kept sending back the food. ellie was ready to go over there and rip them a new one. she refrained.

jesse couldn’t, obviously. she wasn’t going to ask sam. she looked like she was also on the verge of tears. i guess everyone’s having a shitty day. she thought to herself as she walked over to cats table. except you.

“ellie! hey!” cat smiled, she wasn’t happy to see ellie, it was an evil smile. she was happy to terrorize ellie.

“i forgot you worked here!” she continues, earning an eye roll from ellie. sure you did, bitch.

ellie keeps it short and sweet. oh how badly she wanted to ask if this was her new girlfriend. but she didn’t.

“what can i get for you?” she asks, she didn’t even bother plastering a fake smile on her face.

cat and her whatever she is tell ellie there orders and she’s out of there. she doesn’t even give out her scripted response of.

“great choices! that’ll be right out for you!”

she just leaves.

when ellie returns with the two plates the pair look to be in deep conversation.

perfect ellie thought. she could just put down the food and get the fuck out of there-

“so how’s joel?!” cat asks, her lips pursed and her hands intertwined underneath her chin. ellie takes a deep breath. she should’ve docked cat in the face. she didn’t.

the fucking nerve that this bitch has.

ellie doesn’t reply. she turns around and speed walks back to the kitchen where she breaks down for the first time that day. dina ended up finding her and bringing her home early.

to top off her picture perfect fucking day. ellie gets home and finds a new email from her prof. she quickly skims through. as soon as she read the words “cost” and a four digit number, she was done.

her wobbly legs about to give out underneath her as she lays down on her bed. she takes a few deep breaths but it doesn’t help.

she didn’t even hear you come in. but soon enough you were rubbing her back and telling her that it was going to be okay.

she couldn’t help but cry more because the last person to comfort her like that was him.

eventually you calmed her down. you left for a few minutes and came back with a glass of water and a few pain killers.

“take these, your head must be killing you.” you sit down next to her and rub her back as she throws the pills back.

god. ellie felt like such a child.

“good girl.” you whisper as she takes a few more deep breaths. eventually calming completely. the comment didn’t pass hee though. her cheeks (among other things.) were suddenly hot and sticky from tears.

she turned to make eye contact with you, her eyes blood shot. you wondered how long she had been crying for.

the first words that left ellie’s mouth were simple. “did you still want that ice cream, lil man?” your son jumped up and down before grabbing her hand and pulling her off into the kitchen.

ellie had sat him down with a kind portion of chocolate ice cream before she walked up to you.

“hes more than welcome to sleep here tonight. if you don’t feel like picking him up.” she clarifies. her hands on her hips.

“oh ellie, i called out of work. we’re both staying.” ellie’s jaw drops. she instantly starts shaking her head in denial.

“no no you didn’t need to do that trust me, i’m really fine-” you pull her in for a hug to shut her up. you hold her tightly as she sighs into your shoulder.

“i’m sorry.” she whispers. you could only imagine how embarrassed she must’ve been.

“don’t be. you’re human.” you reassure her. you wanted to cry now too. you knew she was going through a bit of money trouble but how broken was this girl?

that night after your son went to bed you listened to ellie rant about her life for hours.

for the most part she held back tears but when she brought up joel you could tell it was hard.

you didn’t pry, or ask questions. you just listened. you listened to the good and the bad.

you two laughed when she told you about when she kissed her best friend riley, and then cried when she told you that riley had moved to canada and that they haven’t talked since.

you had told ellie about how you discovered you were a lesbian during your marriage.

you were bruh shocked to find your now ex-husband very cool with it.

she found out that you guys shared custody and he owned a house in a different part of the city. ellie was a bit envious of your seemingly normal life. you didn’t have to worry about money. atleast, not as much as she did.

you were nodding along as ellie told you about joel. joel had fostered ellie since she was twelve, he adopted her officially when she was sixteen.

she told you how he taught her the guitar, and let her get a tattoo before she turned eighteen.

ellie and joel’s relationship was rocky before he passed. ellie was going through that age where she needed a mother when she started acting out.

“i was always angry.” she confessed. “i would say the cruelest things to him and he would just,” she paused, looking for the right word. “he just took it.”

you frowned at this.

if you had known about any of this you would have never thrown your kid at her for half the week.

among the bad, you also learned a few interesting things about ellie.

she really liked to cook, and she was fucking good at it. you discovered that when she pulled out leftover pasta and served it to you like you were a member of the royal family.

eventually it was your turn to talk her ear off. however, there wasn’t much to tell, you thought.

“uhm- my favorite movie is tangled.” you laughed. ellie blew a raspberry.

“oh c’mon mama, you didn’t have like - a crazy childhood?” she asked. mama, huh?

you shrugged and spoke “not much to tell.” ellie rolls her eyes.

“alrighty then.” she ponders for a moment before speaking “you wanna watch a movie?” she asked, smiling like a fox. you felt your core tighten.

you accepted her offer and she reached out and helped you off her bar stool.

“what a gentle woman.”

“so i’ve been told.”

you and ellie didn’t settle on a movie. she sat you down and told you that you were watching tangled.

you put your hands up in defense. “if you insist.”

“i do insist.” she lays a soft pink blanket over the two of you as the movie begins.

“didn't picture you as much of a pink girl.” you state, covering your arms up with the blanket.

“m’ not, it’s just for you.” she says, her eyes only leaving the television to meet your own.

“just for me?” you ask, putting a hand over your chest in flattery.

“mhm” she replies with a wink and turns her focus back to the tv. it was your turn to feel flustered at her actions. she was quite the flirt apparently.

rapunzel was currently interrogating eugene when you turned to ellie.

“this is also his favorite movie.” ellie smiled at the fact. “is it really?” she laughed. not a condescending laugh, but more of a ‘that’s the cutest thing i’ve ever heard’ laugh.

“it is! he loves it so much, it’s adorable.” you tell her.

“you’re adorable” ellie accidentally admits. her face flushing when she’s noticed what she said.

she’s about to profusely apologize and possibly crawl in a hole and die when you giggle.

“i could say the same about you.” you whisper, shifting your body a little closer to her own. you were already close, but now your thighs were touching.

you tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, her eyes still on the screen. you burn holes in the side of her face. she doesn’t budge.

“ellie?” you whisper, you see her swallow before turning to look at you.

“y-yeah?” her pupils had dilated just a bit and you swore her freckles were more prominent. maybe you were a bit too close-

“you’re very pretty.” you tell her, your eyes darting from her eyes to her lips. then back to her eyes again.

ellie didn’t respond, instead she smirked and licked her lips. “yeah, you think so?” she asks, mostly rhetorically but you answer anyway. “i know so.”

ellie’s lips are dangerously close to your own when she slips her hand under your chin.

“i think you’re the prettiest.” she whispers. you almost didn’t hear her.

you're closing the gap between you two when you hear your sons sleepy voice come out of nowhere. you and ellie both quickly pull away from each other and she clears her throat.

“‘punzel!” he cheers, one of his pant legs riding up his leg, his hair all frizzled. you both light-heartedly laugh at the boys appearance.

“c’mere, baby.” you bring your arms out from underneath the blanket. open for him to crawl into. he obliged and crakes into your lap. you couldn’t even be mad at him for being up so late at this point.

ellie reached up and strokes his hair gently.

fucking cockblock

#˚ ༘♡ ⋆ mommy issues¡fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟizzie writes!?#ellie x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #ellie x mom reader

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satellitespinner · 26 days

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彡 LIKE YOU, LIKE ME. (four)

warnings: ellie claps back!!!😳😳😳😳 ellie is a pianist :) ellie is lowk a ppl pleaser:// swearing, mentions of cheating, a loll bit of toxic friendships. new character introduced so don’t get lost!

a/n: i apologize for the SHIT quality. i’m making this from my phone so i have the 10 image limit and had to put the last two together😭

previous -> next

#彡lylm fic!#ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟizzie writes!?#ellie x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #ellie x you #ellie smut

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satellitespinner · 1 month

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✼ mommy issues .. (one)

a/n: oh did you think this was gonna be a cute lil fluff fic? nahh it’s sad city down there!! be careful..

content warnings: ANGST panic attacks.. hurt (no comfort.) joel is dead. ellie’s a lil sad :/// ellie’s a lil anxious… ellie’s a projection of me.. ANYWAYS. reader and ellie are kinda the same but different ??? swearing ofc.. reader is very much okay with being a lesbian ! and she’s on good terms with the baby fawtha cause what! ellie is not fond of children apparently?? she also might be autistic.

wc: 2k.

taglist: @flowersforvi @diddiqueen @ellslvr @saturnsdrafts @3lli3l0v3r @williamssgirl @liasxeatt @adelaide013 @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliessweetheart @pedropascalsbbg @ellies2missingfingers @nelzooo @r3starttt @jaeminpookie @onlinelesbo @tphmnv @p4ison1vy @pascals-doll @snowy-vee @diddiqueen

ellie grew up around masculinity, thats why people assume she is the way she is. but ellie can assure that her brain would work the exact same way if she had a mother.

plus, she had joel. that was really all she needed. she still knew how to be a woman. it’s not like she grew up without a mother and didn’t know anything about herself.

2 WEEKS AND 4 DAYS AGO..

ellie sighed and threw the white stained towel over her shoulder. fuck she muttered under her breath as she read yet another email.

ATTENTION STUDENTS!

You will all be required to purchase the following textbooks in order to complete the course - They will help immensely in the upcoming exam. I recommend reading carefully and thoroughly.

Sincerely,

Prof Morgan.

all 5 of the books linked in the email were over $150.00 each. how the fuck was she supposed to work that out? all while paying her own tuition, rent and utilities.

“yo, williams!” her manager jesse yelled, interrupting her calculations.

“breaks over.” he snatches the towel from her shoulder and makes his way back into the kitchen with it in tow.

she scoffs and shoves her phone back into her polyester pocket. jesse’s head pops back into the room “oh and” he starts before turning to her. “you’re training today” she scoffs and lifts herself off the chair.

“is that even in my job description?” she follows him out of the kitchen once again.

“sure it is, i just described it to you.” he winks, ellie huffs.

the sky had dimmed by the time ellies shift was over. skating home was gonna be a bitch.

“you need a ride home?” dina places a hand atop her shoulder, a helpful smile on her face. ellie really wanted to say no. she’s been asking for help from others so much lately.

“no, uhh- i’ll get home t’night. thanks dee.” she nods as she grabs her skateboard from her locker. have the trucks always been this lose?

“no, i insist.” dina presses. she pulls out her keys and throws her bag over her shoulder.

“let’s go, my child.” she giggles at the nickname. ellies shoulders relax.

“thanks again, i really appreciate it.” ellie said, her tone laced with genuine gratitude. dina dismisses her with a hand flick. “don’t even sweat it.” she bragged. “now get goin, it’s late.”

ellie pushes the car door open with a steady grip on her skateboard. her smile falters as she waves dina off.

she unlocks her door with a trembling hand, she hated being alone.

the picture of her and joel neatly placed beside the coat rack mocked her as she placed her skateboard down in its dedicated spot. she stared into the picture until the colors morphed into one big glob.

the loss of not just a parent, but her only parent cut her deep. she could barely lift her head for the first while, nevermind go to work. she should be proud of herself! but she isn’t.

how could she be? she felt like everyone else in her life was doing so much with themselves. dina had a kid for fucks sake! dina had a whole kid and ellie couldn’t even get to class on time.

“fuck.” she muttered as she placed her keys down. bills upon bills were flooding the kitchen counter. tears burned at her eyes, blurring her eyesight.

i look so pathetic right now. she thought. a slight chuckle leaving her throat at that.

she tried to blink back the tears but she couldn’t, they just kept coming.

her silent whimpers quickly turned to snotty sobs as her chest heaved in and out involuntarily. she placed a heavy hand on her heart as she slid down the kitchen cabinet. soon enough she found herself completely breathless and wailing.

she eventually calmed herself through deep breaths and a cold glass of water. as she does through every panic attack, although the melancholic feeling always lingered.

after joels death ellie could never find herself truly happy. especially not in an environment where he was everything, everytime she turned around she was reminded of the man who wasn’t even her real father.

nothing was really hers.

she made her way down the dark, dusty hallway to her bedroom. desks adorned with pictures of her and joel. she ignored them this time.

she stripped of her uniform and took to the shower. the water burning her skin till it turned red. she scrubbed harshly at her scalp and body. she smelt like grease. gross.

the after shower feeling made her feel a bit better. she grabbed her toothbrush and rinsed it before wiping a glob of colgate toothpaste on the bristles and shoving it in her mouth.

ellie chased sleep for what felt like an eternity. her damp hair scratching at her neck was definitely a part of the problem.

thank god she didn’t work saturdays..

the first 30 seconds of ellie’s day were complete bliss, usually. but not today.

today ellie woke up to the obnoxious sound of a child crying. she decided right then and there that the universe hates her and wants her to die. (but she thinks that about everyone in her life..)

she scoffs and walks over to the curtains, her own padded feet already annoying her.

she peeks out the curtain only to be met with a u-haul and an suv parked in the driveway next door.

new neighbors, how wonderful. and they had a whiny kid! perfect.

she continues watching out the window until she sees you hand off the kid to its father. her eyes follow you until you step into the u-haul and start dragging boxes out. that’s when she sighs and decides to get ready for the day. even though she doesn’t want to.

your entire life you were desperate to be equal. to be taken seriously. you craved maturity.

you spent your entire childhood chasing adulthood. you were desperate to grow up. you didn’t know it then, but you would regret it.

the one thing you didn’t regret, was felix. the baby that you got out of your last relationship. that was before you realized you were very much a lesbian..

“cmon baby, just put your shoe on.” you struggled against the child in the backseat as he wailed. the sound was excruciating.

“please- can you just let mommy put your shoe on?” you gritted as you attempted to shove the shoe onto her other foot.

“no!” he screamed, almost directly into your face. that was it.

“you know what? fuck it.” you muttered the last words under your breath. truthfully you already weren’t setting a good example, but hey! let not say fuck infront of our kid!

you gave up on the shoes and shushed him gently as you undid his seatbelt from his car seat. you placed him in the arms of his father, tossing the shoe into his dinosaur covered backpack.

he slowly came down from his tantrum as he placed his head on his dads shoulder.

“you sure you don’t need me to help unpack?” your ex asks, unsure of leaving you behind with an entire house to furnish.

“yep! i’m good!” you smile. you gently kiss your baby’s forehead before shutting your car door.

the father nods in response. “just text if you need and we will be here. isn’t that right felix?” he asks the child who nods profusely.

“of course mama!” he shouts causing you and his dad to laugh. “well alright then!” you rush, it was still early but you were eager to get to your gardening before dark.

you watch as your ex buckles the kid in and situated himself in the car, before pulling out of the driveway he rolls down felixs window.

you blow kisses as the pull out of the driveway and take off to ‘the old house’ in your sons words.

as soon as the car is out of sight you make your way over to the U-Haul.

you’re so focused on getting this last box out of the truck that you don’t even feel the presence creep up behind you.

“hey did you need some hel-”

“what the fuck!”

you jump in fear before turning around. being faced with a red headed, green eyed girl.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry.” she apologizes calmly. an awkward look on her face as you stare at her wide eyed.

you chuckle lightly before putting your hands on your hips. “it’s alright, hon.” you reassure.

you two just awkwardly stare at eachother for a few seconds before ellie finally speaks up again.

“i saw you struggling. did you want some help?” she asks. her eyes drifting to the box filled with gardening tools.

“oh that would be amazing!” you said before wiping the sweat of your forehead.

ellies eyes follow a droplet of seat down your neckline all the way down your cleavage. she finds herself licking her lips

before you introduce yourself.

she darts her eyes back up to your own, praying that you didn’t see her blatantly check you out. “i’m- i’m ellie.” she jumps over her words.

since when did you not know how to speak, idiot? she internally face palms before walking over to pick up the box.

“where do you want this?” she asks with a grunt as she steadys the box in her arms.

“just over here” you direct, letting her follow you as you walked over to the side of the house. she follows you and sets the box down with ease. she jokingly wipes the dirt off of her hands before nodding and starting to walk off.

“oh sweetie! i don’t wanna be a bother but would you mind helping me with one more thing?”

you must’ve been magic because somehow you swindled ellie into helping you with almost everything, and she was totally fine with it.

currently you were both at your kitchen island, laughing over a bottle of wine.

ellie had confided in you about school and you had rambled to her about what it’s like to be a mother.

“yeah, i mean- besides pregnancy it’s not all that bad.” you admit. ellie’s face shifts at the mention of pregnancy.

“i don’t know if i could ever have a baby inside me. i think i’d like- die.?” she questions. “not that i would of course” she giggles. your face becomes a look of confusion.

“no boyfriend? or just not one for kids?” you ask. you totally forgot that it’s very possible for her to be-

“i’m a lesbian” she answers and takes another sip of wine. her eyes watching your face for any negative reaction.

you clap your hands over your mouth quickly. now it seems obvious.

“i am so sorry, that totally slipped my mind.” she laughs at your attempts to redeem yourself.

“it’s totally chill, don’t worry.” she reassures, a smile on her face.

“i am too, actually.” you admit, it was your first time admitting it to someone other than yourself of your now ex husband.

“oh i was just gonna ask if that was your husband out there earlier.” she fidgets with the rings on her fingers as she asks.

“well, ex. it’s not easy to find a baby sitter that actually takes care of my kid these days.” you admit to her. she ponders for a slight moment before speaking up again.

“well, if you’re looking. i’m usually free during the day, i work nights most of the time.” she offers up. she wasn’t really sure why. she wasn’t even a fan of kids.

“really?!” it looks like your eyes had bulged out of your head. “god that would be amazing! i’ll pay you!”

ellie didn’t hear anything besides ‘i’ll pay you’ that’s all she needed to know.

“yeah of course. i’ll take him.” she confirmed.

that night ellie left with your phone number and a smidge of hope in her heart.

#˚ ༘♡ ⋆ mommy issues¡fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟizzie writes!?#ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x you #ellie x dina #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x reader fluff #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n #ellie the last of us

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satellitespinner · 27 days

Text

彡 LIKE YOU, LIKE ME. (two)

warnings: all ellie’s pov!!!! mentions of cheating, jesse and dina r funny. swearing probably i forgot. we learn about reader!! some conflict has been resurfaced 🤔🤔

a/n: erm hey……. also no taglist for this fic just cause it’s so much work LMAO and i’m lazy. so don’t be up in my comments like “can i be in the taglist!?” cause there isn’t one :))

previous -> next

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satellitespinner · 28 days

Text

彡 LIKE YOU, LIKE ME. (one)

warnings: swearing, cheating, angst.

a/n uhm ok. this is mostly just to holy y’all over while i work on mommy issues.

masterlist -> next

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satellitespinner · 2 months

Text

♯WASYANAME (chapter two)

content warnings: hella swearing, mentions of cheating, dark joke like once, reader hates ellie !!!

a/n : helloo i am on a fucking rolllll

taglist : @andersonlore @andersonslove @r3starttt @readbydayana @wh0reforbucknasty @sapphhicslut @gato-chino @atyourmerci @williamssgirl @ellabscrush

#༉‧₊˚. WASYANAME #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #ellie x reader #ellie williams fluff #₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟizzie writes!?#abby anderson x reader #abby #ellabs #ellabs x reader #abby x fem!reader

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satellitespinner · 28 days

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彡 LIKE YOU, LIKE ME. (masterlist.)

pairings: ellie williams x fem!reader

synopsis: you just found out your girlfriend of almost a year has been cheating on you. well, cheating on her with you. whatever happened to love these days?.

content warnings: soooo.. uh nobody safe!!!!!!!!! every chapter will have the according warnings :)

a/n: holy fucking shsjsiuehsishsjs !!!! uhm another smau what we doin………. i am freaking excited!

┊͙

chapter one! -> your girlfriend fucking cheated on you? what the hell. she’s had a girlfriend for 3 years! yikes girl you’re a little stupid…

chapter two! -> ellie talks about you with her friends and discovers some hidden history between her friend and your own.. can you get any closer with someone?! jeez..

chapter three! -> you feel really bad for the other girl. you didn’t even know her! you reach out anyway.. you also find out you’re connected in a number of other ways! yikes.

chapter 4! -> ellie thinks she might hate her friends.. you reach out to your darling brother when ellie asks for your number.

chapter 5! -> you flirt with ellie and she absolutely loses it. ellie texts nadia.

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satellitespinner · 1 month

Note

Jealous ellie drabble.

i feel like ellie isn’t some big jealous alpha who takes you home and pounds you doggystyle like how a majority of tumblr writes her (no shame ab that!) but more likely a jealous gf who sits back and pouts and gives you the cold shoulder for 2 hours until she can’t ignore you anymore. she definitely needs reassurance and then feels really guilty about being jealous!!!

COOL ABOUT IT.

content warnings: swearing, jealousy, ellie’s a littleeeee toxic..

wc: 500 or soo…

you’re sat at a bar table with your girlfriend and best friends and you couldn’t be happier, but the energy was a bit off..

everyone had been happily engaged in conversation except ellie. she had been while and it was starting to worry you.

you waited for a moment for jesse and dina to start mindlessly bickering over which genre of movie they would star in and texted ellie under the table.

you: is everything okay?

ellie: yep

you: are you sure?? you’re looking pretty sad over there :((

ellie: i’m good.

read

you look up from under the table to see ellie glaring holes into dinas head. good god girl.

you smile and roll your eyes, you place a reassuring hand on her thigh and move your head onto her shoulder.

for a moment you two wait for jesse and dina to shut up but soon enough their voice levels end up a little too high for a public setting.

“okay we are still in public.. children..” you scold jokingly receiving a faint chuckle from ellie.

the pair settle down before resuming in civil conversation with you. they attempted to include ellie, who was only responding when she had to.

“what do you think ellie?” dina asks, not sensing her sour mood that was clearing directed towards her.

“i think i need to go to the bathroom.” she deadpans before sliding out of the booth and walking to the bathroom.

you sigh at her childish behavior before politely excusing yourself, coming up with the excuse of her having a shitty day.

you push the bathroom door open to reveal ellie standing against the sinks, fingers tapping away at her phone screen.

“babe.” you speak softly. trying to hide your frustration. she ignores you and continues typing.

“okay listen,” you start, not trying to argue but simply trying to set things straight.

“dina is a flirt. you know this. why you continue to get overly jealous and act like a child beats me.” you cross your arms as she finally locks her phone and looks up at you.

“i do not want dina. i want you. you’re my girlfriend, not her. im inlove with you, not her.” you reassure, your tone harsh yet comforting.

ellie chews the inside of her cheek as you lay into her, she knows that you nor dina would ever even think of being unfaithful.

she huffs as she walks over to you, wrapping herself around you.

“i know, i know, i’m sorry.” you rub ur hand up and down her back as to comfort her.

“i don’t think i could even see myself with someone else.” you whisper into her shirt.

“me neither.” you feel her release a breath of relief against your head. you wanted to stay like this forever.

you two pull back from eachother and you smile at her.

“should we make our way back to the others?” she agrees silently before pressing a soft kiss your your lips. a smile plastered on her face as she walks back to the table.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #tlou #tlou fanfiction #ellie tlou #tlou2 #abby anderson x reader #₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟizzie writes!?#ellie x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fanfic

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satellitespinner · 2 months

Text

♯WASYANAME (chapter 3)

content warnings: swearing, yearning and such…

a/n: this one was boring im sorry :(( i’m working on it doe:3

taglist: @andersonlore @andersonslove @r3starttt @readbydayana @wh0reforbucknasty @sapphhicslut @gato-chino @atyourmerci @williamssgirl @ellabscrush @flowersforvi @snowy-vee

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satellitespinner · 2 months

Text

˗ˏˋsidelines - one ´ˎ˗

next | previous | series masterlist

˗ˏˋ finally the first chapter!!! we’re so excited to give you this fic.. so much time went into it but it’s so worth ittt :33 ´ˎ˗

synopsis: you've been going to saltwitch beach every summer for as long as you can remember, it's home to you. and you wouldn't change that for the world...

cw: MDNI!! cursing, use of weed, age gap (2-3 years?), nicknames (cherry), ellie calls reader a slut, ellie is straight up cruel. hurt/comfort, flashbacks, slightly edited, breif mention of hair (being washed.) brief mentions of masturbation (e), abby and reader are awk..

wc : (6.4k)

the usual feeling of pure excitement that you felt upon arrival at the summer house wasn't as prominent as the odd and unusual anxiety that you couldn't seem to push down. you told yourself that it was just nerves, you hadn’t seen ellie for almost two years and so far, your first impression of being hesitant to get out of the car wasn't so great. you decided not to dwell on the feeling because you were tired. you knew that interacting with her was inevitable so why not get it over with?

the difference in your appearance didn't go unnoticed by the two girls, you chatted with your brother as you made your way over to them. ellie eyed you as you still had that cheerful aura, and that childlike pep in your step. you were the definition of glowing, and ellie was a little jealous.

“since when did she have tits?” ellie looked over at abby before receiving an elbow to the chest from her. “weirdo.” the blonde commented before ellie jumps to defend herself. “i was just sayin-!” before she could finish shes cut off by an oh-so familiar voice.

“abby, hey!” you greeted with a pleasant smile on your face, slightly jogging up to her and quickly embracing her in a hug, her bulky arm wrapped around your torso like it belonged there. the thick tension in the air was felt by all but stayed unrecognized.

“hey kid, how are you?” she asks as you pull away, your eyes meet ellie’s for just a moment before turning back to abby. “I'm good! you look amazing, by the way” before abby could respond ellie interjects “you look different.” she states blankly. you shoot her a glare. “yeah, that’s what two summers does to a person. you of all people should know that, right?” you sass back, taking notice of her new look. she looked hot? no, nevermind. you push past, making your way into the house and up to your room, leaving everyone behind.

unpacking had to be your least favorite part of going away each summer especially when you were exhausted, annoyed and sweaty. while unpacking you had fleetwood mac bursting in your eardrums, music had always helped calm your nerves in any situation. your favorite playlist and a few deep breaths worked wonders.

a few summers ago, ellie showed you a song she had been practicing on joel's guitar. “ wha’dya think, cherry?” she would ask with a smile on her face. “i love it!” you would always respond. reminiscing on that memory carved a genuine grin on your face, however that smile was quickly replaced by a look of terror and a slight jump.

“jesus fuck!” you screamed, being met with ellie and abby leaning against your door on either side like this was some dramatic romcom was not what you expected when you turned around to put a couple shirts in your wardrobe. ripping one headphone of your ear, you expect them to say something, but instead they stay silent.

“what do you want?” you give them a wary look. abby starts by pointing out your new look. “you look uh- pretty?” she scratches her neck awkwardly. you feel your cheeks heat up at the compliment. “thanks.” you reply. you try to avoid ellie’s harsh gaze burning into you. “so.. how’s school?” she continues, trying to keep the conversation flowing. “good, good” you nod in unison. you decide to ease the tension by focusing yourself on unpacking. you and abby chat for awhile, paying ellie little to no mind.

abby’s eyes respectfully followed you as you buzzed around the room, ellie however was straight up gawking at you without word. you finished up your conversation abby fairly quickly when the uncomfortable air eased away after a few words. soon enough your sitting on your bed as you two converse innocently from opposite sides of the room. you cracked a couple jokes with abby but couldn't quite understand why ellie was still standing there.

“ellie did you need something too?” you ask with a smile, finally making eye contact with the other girl in the frame. “nope.” she answered calmly before taking a hit from her vape. “just noticed how much of a slut you’ve turned into.” she crosses her arms, her eyes challenge yours. abby’s face drops, oblivious to ellie’s obvious intentions.

“excuse me?” your eyes widen at the comment, the audacity that this girl had! two summers gone and all she can say is that you look like a slut?

“i mean- go off, you look great but like.. how much skin you gotta show for some attention?” she chuckles lowly. you thought she was done but apparently she wasn't. “are you trying to look more mature or something? so you can finally be taken seriously?”

oh.

“alright,” you stand up from your bed, running a hand through your hair. “i would love to listen to you critique me, but really i haven't changed that much. you would know that if you didn't miss two summers.” you bite back before shooing them out of your room so you could finally get at least a little bit of rest. even though abby didn’t really do anything, you simply didn’t feel like being around anyone after ellie’s embarrassing comment.

you were exhausted. finally deciding to give unpacking a break for now and lay down. you slide under your blue and white covers that welcomed you after every long drive and closed your eyes.. you fall asleep instantly when your head hits the pillow.

you’re peacefully asleep, dreaming about how this summer will go when you’re interrupted by your phone going off. usually, you would close your eyes and ignore it. but the caller was persistent and kept calling after you lay your head down once again. you grab your phone with an annoyed scoff but your mood sweetens when you see dina’s name displayed brightly on the screen.

you quickly tap the green answer button and are about to speak when you’re spooked by the sound of dina’s voice blaring through your phone.

“bitch! why didn’t you tell me you were back?!” she scolds you playfully.

“in my defense-“ you start but are interrupted by cat’s voice coming through, “no excuses babe, we need to see you and we need to see you now!” you laugh at their orders and push the sheets off of you in a hurry.

“okay. i’m coming!” shuffling through your room like a madman with your phone pressed to your ear, the dedication your friends had was real! “how did you even know i was back?”

“we ran into your brother just now,” dina explains “we’re parked outside to take you out, hurry up!”

“fuck dina, way to give me some time to look presentable” you roll your eyes behind the phone as you multitask brushing your hair and triple checking you look presentable.

“get out here!” you hear jesse demand “i’m coming out now, chill!” you confirm, stumbling down the stairs and seeing that nobody is home, weird. you see the parked car and are quick to wave while hanging up the phone.

“dina, i awoke from my beauty sleep for you guys.” you say as you jump into the backseat of cats white jeep, right beside jesse, saying your hello’s.

“anddd yet you still love us!” she smiles back at you and winks, you don’t deny it.

you guys drive around for awhile, blasting your favorite songs from cats phone and catching up on whatever you weren’t able to talk about on call. you were genuinely excited, you finally had your people.

when you finally arrive at your destination you’re in awe, i mean your summer house is big, but this? this was luxurious.

“holy fuck cat, you live here?!” you plant your feet on the floor of the car and pull yourself through the open sunroof to get an better look at the home. cat giggled before grabbing your calf. “get in here you crazy bitch!” you smack your lips and sit back down. she closes the sun roof and you all make your way inside.

the hangout was fun, you guys made ice cream sundaes and watched the sunset while being occupied by a game of volleyball.

you and cat absolutely destroyed dina and jesse, obviously!

you were able to get a ride home from cat while the couple stayed at her house, the ride home was comfortable, not too long with good music and conversation.

“how much you wanna bet that dina n’ jesse are fucking in my parents room right now?” she asks with a smile.

“your guess is better than mine, but i’d say $10.” you look over at her and she laughs. the open windows are breezing her short, black hair around, her earrings dangling along.

you two pull into your driveway after cracking joke after joke, she puts the car in park before turning to you.

“did you want me to walk you up?” she asks with a soft smirk, reaching for her keys.

“no, no!” you brush her off, “i’m fine by myself.” you smile.

“if you say so!” she turns the car back on and gently reaches over and pats your thigh. “see you around, yeah?” you place your hand atop hers and reach for your door with the other.

“of course!” you clarify. before getting out of the car and shutting the door. just as you’re about to walk away she rolls down the passenger window.

“goodnight!” she waves you off and makes sure to stay until you get into the house. you wave to her once more before closing the door and she drives away.

you drag yourself through the house, tired.

you were definitely going back to bed.

˚ · . TIME SKIP!

SUMMER ‘15

you smack your lips at the sweet yet tangy flavor that the cherries left in your mouth. not hesitating to pick up another handful as you admire abby on her surf-board while ellie and your brother built a sand castle in the sand, just a few feet away from you.

you were happy.

“hey!” ellie calls out to you, before running up to your spot and plopping herself down next to you. she reaches out her cupped hand in front of you, you shoot her a confused look. “give me some too!” she demands jokingly. “oh, sorry!” you giggle before placing four almost perfect cherries in her palm. “thanks, cherry” she chuckles at the newfound nickname. you two snack on them for a little while before ellie finishes hers. “d’ya want more?” you ask, reaching for the bag one the opposite side of you. “no, im okay” she responds, you place the bag back down.

“yeah im done too.” you insist before poorly zip locking the bag shut and smiling up at ellie with a wide, toothy smile. she laughs at the look on your face. “why’re you laughing at me?” you fake a slight frown. “you're covered in cherry juice, lemme help” she wipes the excess juice from your lips with her thumb, her tongue slightly poking outside her mouth. “done!” she cheers, the sun making the tiny brown freckles on her face shine. her own toothy smile making you melt more than the hot sun.

“do you wanna come build a sand castle with us?” she asks. but before you could answer you hear your brother yell at her. “ellie no! don't let her! she’s just gonna mess it up!” “fuck you!” ellie responds before taking your hand in her own and leading you over there.

your brother groans but lets you, mostly because your dad was watching, at least you're being included one way or another. “whats up, cherry” your brother mocks.

“hey! only i can call her that!” ellie shouts. “whatever” she earns an annoyed eye roll from your brother. “come on cherry, sit down” ellie pats the sand next to her.

your sleep is disturbed by a dip in the mattress before you can feel a heavy hand shaking you awake. the weight of sleep lifted off your eyes when subtle gusts of wind blow your curtains into your room. you let out a guttural groan, you need water. you sit up slightly in your bed, your arms slightly behind you holding you up as you meet abby's eyes.

“whats up, abs?” you whisper in a slightly raspy voice, she removes her hand from your shoulder and smiles while answering “just wanted to make sure you're awake, you won’t be able to sleep tonight if you keep going any longer.” you force down a smile at her consideration. she gently lifts herself off of your bed before making her way to the door. “thank you, abby” you rub your eyes with your palm, trying to wake yourself up. shivering slightly as you take the covers off of your body.

you walk over to the window to shut it when you notice the sky, almost completely dark. it was late, but not too late. in your opinion it was the perfect time for a swim.

you quickly discard your clothes and replace them with your favorite bathing suit and the towel.

when you slide open the sliding glass door you notice the smell of weed as you walk out into the back yard. you slide the door shut and walk over to the pool. you're spooked at the sight of ellie and abby sitting on the edge of the pool, smoking a joint. they were whispering about something but abruptly stopped when they noticed your presence.

“that’s quite the bathing suit, cherry. you’re kinda proving my point here, don't you think?” she passes the joint to abby, who takes a hit immediately. you feel a sudden confidence within yourself as you walk over to the pair, ignoring ellie’s comment and take a seat right next to abby. without thinking you delicately take the joint from abby’s hand and take a hit from it as well. you slightly dip your head back as you exhale the smoke from your lungs. looking over at abby when you pass it back, a confused but ultimately impressed look crossing her face. ellie only chuckles before abby asks; “when did you start smoking? miss ‘goodie two shoes.’” you scoff before standing up, placing your towel down and descending into the lit up water.

“you can't really tell me you weren't smoking weed when you were 18, can you?” you joke before dipping your head under the water and swimming a few laps. when you resurface you notice ellie’s pink, glossy eyes on you. you two share a look for a moment before you speak. “you should take a picture, it’ll last longer.” you tell her off. but her reply wasn't what you expected. “i might.” her voice cracking slightly from staying silent for so long. you cover up how flustered that comment made you with a scoff and an eye roll, you continue swimming.

some time passes before you resurface again. ellie was gone, abby was smoking alone, so you swim over to her. you rest your arms on the outside of the pool. “where’s ellie run off to?” you ask, looking around the yard. “do you actually care? cause all day you've been hating each other hard. the tensions so thick i could cut it with a knife.” she inhales another hit from the almost finished joint.

“that’s not fair, she’s been gone for two summers. my grudge is justified.” you state argumentatively. abby puts out the joint on the concrete, pressing it into the ground to make sure its out. “do you know why?” you look up at her. “not a clue, none of you ever tell me anything.” you pry “why didn't she come?”

“not my place to tell you.” she sighs. “are you fucking kidding me? it’s been two years and i haven't been told shit!” she throws you a weak smile. you knew she wouldn’t tell you, so you give up with a sarcastic chuckle. “you’ll find out eventually.”

“okay.” you mutter before you lift yourself off the edge and duck under the water for a few more laps, when you emerge from the water next, abby is still sitting there. feet gently paddling the water. “do you want to.. come in with me?” you ask kind of shyly. swimming with abby was always something you looked forward to every summer without fail.

“i probably shouldn't.” she declined politely, own thoughts rushing to her head. “im gonna- head inside.” she shot you a tight lipped smile and stood up. “sorry, kid” and with that she was already missing, leaving you in the pool as you close your eyes and frustratingly flop back underwater once again, completely relaxing your muscles and letting it overtake you.

SUMMER ‘19

“they're pre-occupied” abby tells you as she walks out of the house, towel in hand. you roll your eyes “look what mario kart is doing to our generation!” you shake your head jokingly. “rainbow road is destroying families.” abby adds on and you both laugh.

the two of you make your way down to the beach, abby's surfboard under her arm as your padded feet burn from the sand. you were so excited! everytime the group made their way down to the beach you would giddily watch abby on her surfboard, just waiting for the day she would cave and teach you.

“you excited?” she elbows you with a smirk, based on your body language she already her answer. “i am! im gonna be a pro surfer by tomorrow, watch me.” you laugh, the feeling of excitement coursing throughout your body.

you and abby walk side by side until you reach the beach. she teaches you how to wax the board, as well as where to get the best waxes. she tells you which brands make the best wet suits and you guys practice a bit of balance on the sand before you finally slap the board down on the water.

“before you’re gonna even try standing you're gonna practice on your knees. got it?” you nod eagerly and sit on your knees, abby’s hands guiding you easily. you wobble slightly after getting on and abby places her hands on your hip to steady you. “i got you, i got you.” she reassures.

abby was a good teacher, and had you standing on that board in no time.

“i’m doing it!” you beam and abby couldn't help but smile at you.

“you're doing amazing!” she cups her hands around her mouth so the praise could reach your ears.

when you turn around to look at her for approval, you fail to notice a wave coming straight for you. “wait! Turn back arou-!” abby attempts to warn you, but the wave has already hit, knocking you off straight off of her surfboard and into the salty sea water. she panics, quickly swimming over to you as you break the water’s surface and frantically spin your head around to try and find her. when you do finally spot her, the blonde thinks you’re on the verge of tears before you break out into a smile and begin to laugh. she stares at you in shock for a moment, swimming closer and briefly inspecting you for any possible injuries (as well as ensuring the laugh isn't a possible cover up for an incoming sob), eventually coming to the conclusion that you’re fine. but your laugh, your laugh is just so contagious she cant help but join in on it.

“you looked so fucking worried!” you manage to say in between giggles, she jokingly shakes her head in disappointment. “of course i was! you just got fucking slammed underwater!” she exclaims, teasingly splashing even more water onto your face. your jaw now starting to hurt from just how wide you were smiling.

“c’mon. let’s head back to shore, i think that’s enough practice for the day.” abby concludes, gently grabbing your arm and pulling you forward back onto the surfboard as she pushes you to shore, sun setting behind the both of you.

present day

gasping for air as you surge up from the water once again, you decide it's finally time to get out of the pool and begin to get ready for dinner. grabbing the nearest towel on one of the pool chairs, you quickly wrap it around your body before sliding open the plexi-glass door as ellie and abby previously had, making your way inside the house.

“hey kiddo!” jerry calls out to you from the oven, supposedly taking something out of it as he places it on the counter, removing the colorful oven mitts from his hands. “hey, jerry” you smile at him, you were able to get a quick greeting with him in before, but you had missed him the year you were gone. moving over to the kitchen island and leaning against it to have a quick look at what he and your father have prepared for dinner. “all of this looks absolutely delicious” you comment, noticing one of your favorite dishes tucked away to the side.

“why thank you! it’s almost done if you wanna take a quick shower before meeting everyone else down here?” jerry suggests, you stand back up properly “yeah that would be great. speaking of, where is everyone?” you question, you haven't seen your brother or father since you arrived, and abby and ellie were nowhere to be found.

“your father and brother went out a while ago to get some more groceries for the next couple nights, abby went along with them i’m pretty sure. as for ellie… i have no idea.” he sighs, leaning on the opposite side of the counter as you. “alright, well im gonna go take that shower and i’ll come back down here to help set the table!” you smile at him, returning back to a standing position before making your way to the stairs, jerry simply nods his head, retreating back to cooking.

you exhale while walking up the stairs, removing the towel from your body to gently dry your hair so you dont cause the floors to become even wetter than they already are from the pool. upon making your way to the bathroom, you discover where ellie had been – showering.

as she walks out in only a sports bra and basketball shorts, you're rendered speechless, the opposite to how you've been acting around ellie so far.

“hey cherry” she casually greets you while leaning up against the bathroom wall, towel loosely hanging around her shoulders “hey ellie.” you respond with the same energy as you previously had “where’d you disappear to before?” you ask, kicking yourself immediately after for such a stupid question.

“thought you would prefer to keep anderson’s company rather than look at me for one more second,” she quips back "how was it? your swim, i mean.”

you stay quiet for a moment, “it was nice. i lost track of time, she left shortly after you did.” you explain, ellie purses her lips, lifting herself off of the doorframe and walking away from you, you contemplate your next words for a moment. “wait, ellie!” you call out, turning your body to face her. she stops in her tracks, spinning her head around and waiting for you to continue with your sentence “i was trying to ask abby but she wouldn’t tell me. why weren't you here for two summers?” you cut straight to the point. all you wanted was an answer. the auburn haired girl simply looks down and away from you before turning the opposite direction and entering her bedroom.

looking down at your own feet, you accept defeat and wander into the bathroom. removing your bikini, and stepping into the shower, letting the stream of water overtake your senses once again.

after a while of sitting in the steam, you decide to wash your hair, doing a shitty job of detangling it caused from the chlorine. you grab your bottle of shampoo and squirt some into your hand before sloppily rubbing the gooey substance around your head and rinsing. you repeat with your conditioner before finishing up with washing your body - berry scented body wash, obviously.

while you lather your body wash onto yourself, your mind wanders to ellie. the way she looked at you, all the things she said to you. no. absolutely not. she called you a slut for gods sake! maybe she was right? you hadn't even had your first kiss yet though. you shake away any incoming thoughts on the subject for now when you decide to finish up in the shower. reaching over to the tap and gently twisting it until the warm water faded away and you were left shivering behind the curtain. you water no time grabbing your soft towel and wrap it around your dripping body in hopes of warming yourself up again.

realizing that upon your shock of seeing ellie exit the bathroom, you had completely forgotten to bring your clothes to the bathroom. which meant you had two options – one, call for your brother who probably wasn't even home yet and risk him bringing you the worst clothes known to mankind. or two, run out to your bedroom in just your towel and pray nobody sees you.

option two it is!

quickly ensuring your towel was tight enough to not fall off, you crack open the bathroom door, making sure there’s nobody you can see who could see you. with the coast seemingly being clear, you make a run for it. opening the bathroom door fully and fast-walking to the familiar pale blue door you had spent many summers sleeping in. everything was going to plan, nobody was upstairs! you close the door with a weary breath and rush to the soft clothes splayed across your bed. you pull your cotton panties up your legs and shimmy into your silk sleep shorts. you decide against your sleep shirt for now, instead opting for a thick hoodie with your soon to be university name displayed proudly across the chest.

you take a seat at your desk and apply some light makeup, nothing too fancy. some minimal skincare, a bit of mascara and the tiniest bit of blush. afterwards, reaching over to your jewelry case and putting your earrings back in.

cute! you think before you tiptoe out of your room with intentions of quietly going downstairs but are met with ellie in the hallway.

“hey.” you mutter with a polite smile, she doesn’t respond. instead retreats downstairs quickly.

why do you even bother?

you follow behind ever so slightly, taking notice of how her nonchalant facade has died down quite a bit.

you looked her up and down as she went over to your brother at the kitchen island. her hair was dry and combed back into its normal up-down style. she had also returned her rings to their original places and put on a chained necklace.

abby had freshened up as well, her usual messy braid tightened around her scalp, and her black wife pleaser hugged her torso well. along with her plaid pajama pants, she was conversing with your father.

everyone else looked good, obviously. it was tradition to at least try to clean up for the first dinner, after that, nobody cared. you quickly gazed over the group and took note of one person's absence in particular.

you pay it no mind for now and watched everyone in friendly chatter, enveloped in their own conversations. this was home. as you walk closer, you take the opportunity to set the table discreetly. grabbing the silverware and plethora of plates, gently bringing them over to the oak table and accidentally making a – very loud –clatter from dropping the silverware. everybody's heads immediately turn to look at you

“oops?” you say, but it comes out more as a question, shooting them a smile in order to diffuse some of the tension that had been created from your hunched figure over the table.

“here, let me help.” abby insists, making her way towards you to help. you don't object, letting her come forward and grab the fallen silver. you shoot her a thankful smile and continue setting the table as everybody returns to their previous conversations.

“that’s one way to make an entrance” abby whispers as she she trails just behind you, putting the forks, spoons and knives just after you place the woven placemats down. “oh hush,” you groan, she continuous to lay the utensils “as if im any less clumsy then you.” she nudges you harshly, reminiscing on all the past time she’s completely stacked it in front of you.

“hey, by the way, are you wearing a hoodie because of ellie’s… dumb comments?” abby asks as you return any leftover dining material to the kitchen counters and start grabbing food to place down, you ignore her. “dinner is ready folks!” you announce, putting your hands up party style and allowing everyone to take their seats while you go ahead and grab a glass of water for yourself.

when you turn back around to take your own seat, you realize the only spot left is right between abby and ellie. they are lost in their own chatter with each other when you come to sit in between with them.

you don’t speak to either of them when you sit down, instead opting to quietly grab whatever food looked most appealing to you to stuff onto your plate – then later into your stomach.

you zone out as everyone continues with their previous conversations, head racing with many, many thoughts. why was ellie gone for two summers? where’s joel? why does everything feel different?

“where's joel?” you speak up, not even realizing the words had left your mouth until you look up to find everyone staring at you, faces gloomy. “what? I haven’t seen him in awhile, i wanna know how he’s doin’” you drop your fork, scanning the faces around the table to show your putting all your focus into this conversation.

“you’re fucking with us, right?” your brothers scoffs, face disappointed.

“Language.” your father interrupts, staring down at his plate. you chuckle at that. “father of the year award goes to you.” you mock under your breath. “and no! i’m not messing with you!” you answer honestly, “i don't get told anything around here. all i want is an answer.” your brother scoffs at this. “what, i’m serious! can you guys just tell me where he is? and ellie, where the hell were you for two summers? i didn’t hear anything from you for two years. hell, i was starting to think you and joel had died!”

everyone falls silent.

ellie abruptly stands up from her seat at the table “i’m not hungry.” she declares, before moving around you and rushing up the stairs. her fast paced footsteps are heard before the harsh slam of her door.

“what’s her deal?” you ask the table, nobody answers. too focused staring down at their plates. “are you guys serious right now? i’m old enough to know these things. and sure, i know joel doesn’t come every summer but i thought he would at least come to this one.” your eyes start to well up with tears, you just wanted to be treated like an adult.

your dad sighs and finally draws his eyes back to yours. you both silently stare at each other for a short moment, couldn't have been more than a few seconds but it felt like forever. “you should go talk to ellie.” your dad finally speaks up, jerry hums in agreement. you nod at them and politely excuse yourself. you pause yourself and turn to the table of your almost-family.

“thanks for dinner.” you shoot the group a sarcastic smile and continue to drag yourself away from the kitchen and up the stairs, towards ellie’s room. in the short distance you walked your thoughts started to eat away at you.

maybe joel was dead?

no. he couldn't be!

he was notorious for missing summers, and there’s no way they would keep that from you, right?

your thought were cut short when you find yourself in front of ellies door, the run down “ellies cave! do not enter!” sign that was still there made you smile. you brace yourself by taking a few deep breaths and then gently cracking the door open. you spot ellie sitting on the edge of her bed, back to you.

“knock knock” you softly welcome yourself into her room and close the door behind you. ellie doesn't greet you, instead keeping to herself. you stroll around the bed and sit next to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. her red, glossy eyes stayed glued to the ground. you squeeze your eyes shut as you try and find what you want to say to her.

“listen, ellie.. if i did anything to upset you or if i made you uncomfortable-” “stop,” she whispers, her voice slightly cracking which alludes her to clear her throat, interrupting your rambling. “i just-” you sigh. “im sorry if i did.” you clarify with a slight breath of relief, like you had been holding it in forever. the feeling didn't last long, the longer she stayed silent the more anxious you got.

what was up with you? why did you suddenly care so much?

ellie, for once didn’t know what to say. she fiddled with the rings on her fingers, they felt encapsulating. a habit you knew all to well. you placed a hand atop of her own two.

“can you look at me? please?” you knew you sounded pathetic, you knew you would probably regret this later, but you wanted to help her. eventually your pleas pulled through and she averted her gaze from the floor to you. tears stained her freckled cheeks, the whites of her eyes colored pink, drastically clashing with her green ideas.

she doesn't say anything, instead throwing herself into your arms and letting her emotions take over. “fuck, cherry i’m so sorry.” she sobs into your chest. “i didn't mean what i said” she declares as she squeezes the back of your tear soaked hoodie. you slowly start raking your fingers through her soft auburn locks.

“shh, shh. its okay.” you whisper gently into her head, placing a few gentle kisses to her forehead. you slowly rock the two of you from side to side and rub circles to her back. her sobs eventually subside as you lull her to sleep.

you didn't leave straight away, you sat there with her to ensure that she would stay asleep, when she did you gently laid her down across her bed and cover her up with a blanket that was thrown over a nearby chair. you smile at her tranquil state.

you leave ellie’s room feeling hopeful, maybe things would go back to the way they were, maybe things could be normal again.

While your closing the door to ellie’s bedroom is when you run into abigail once again, you both stop in your tracks.

“hey, abby.” your voice trembles as you say those two simple words.

“hey,” she replies warily “are you okay?” she cautiously makes her way towards you as you tilt your head up in hopes of not spilling your tears.

“oh im doing great,” you joke, laughing to cover up the incoming wave of tears “just peachy!” abby can sense the incoming tears and is quick to envelop you in a tight hug, just in time as the tears well over your eyes and onto your face. you shove your neck into her shoulder, wishing that you could disappear.

first day back, and you're already crying? right after you argued about wanting to be treated like an adult? grow up.

“hey.. what’s wrong?” she softly asks, you lift your head up from her neck and look up at her. “i don’t know.” is all you can muster out when the waterworks reappear, and abby tenderly places your head back into her shoulder.

“it’s okay… its okay…” she reassures, carefully making her way to your bedroom as to not disturb your sensitive state.

when she delicately places you on your bed, you stay sitting up. She doesn’t say anything, but begins to make her way back to your bedroom door, assuming you wanted to be alone.

“stay.” is all you say, smoothly grabbing her arm, forcing her to stop in her tracks.

“oh, uh-”

“please.” your grip on her arm becomes a little tighter, it’s only then she realizes the last thing you need right now is to be alone.

she lets out a heavy breath and turns back around to you. “okay,” she complies, “okay, i’ll stay.”

“thank you.” is all you can squeeze out, releasing her arm and laying down, facing the opposite direction of her.

she goes to turn off your lightswitch, allowing the moon shining through your drapes to be your only source of light from your open windows and goes to lay down beside you hesitantly, trying to not take up too much space on your bed.

“abby,” you whisper, “my bed is big enough to fit both of us, it’s okay.” you reassure her “oh,” she says awkwardly “are you sure?”

you let out a soft giggle, opposite to the state of your currently tear stained face “yes, im sure.”

you fall asleep together, laying side by side in your white seashell printed bed. a thin blanket covering the two of you as the wind blew inside the walls you had missed so dearly, the walls you had grown up in, the walls you hoped would stay engraved into your memory forever.

this summer was going to be different, it was going to be good.

ellie couldn't stop thinking about you. your new persona plagued her mind, awake and asleep. she couldn't stop thinking about you and it had taken effect. she woke up drenched. she groans as she shifts in her bed, trying desperately to fall back asleep. when that didn't work she turned to sleeping pills, which in this case didn’t help either.

she slowly slid her slender fingers to the waistband of her sweats she tried to imagine you in that bathing suit, god that bathing suit. her fingers met her aching clit, she slowly began rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves, she imagined you in the pool, your body drenched in water. she impatiently slid her fingers down to her slick covered slit,

god she was so fucked..

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