#‘you need to sort out this fucking billing system it’s a fucking shambles you should be ashamed’ and is that cash or card 🤭

[hella1975]

they call my job cuntenserven the way i serve cunts 9 to 5

#‘you need to sort out this fucking billing system it’s a fucking shambles you should be ashamed’ and is that cash or card 🤭 #waitressing is one idgaf war i will always be unbeaten at #like this man was twice the size of me and drunk getting IN MY FACE shouting about his bill #and i was ENJOYING MYSELF #like shout ur little head off baby you still owe me £400!! get aggy all u want the doorman loves me bc i make him lattes shall i get him 🥰 #embarassing behaviour. i got a thrill out of it though ❤️ #I genuinely do enjoy this brand of rude customer it’s like sport for me #hella slaves to capitalism #im back in the fucking building!

[duckapus]

Okay, I’m only ever going to do this rant once and then everything’s gonna go back to being happy weirdo time.

I FUCKING HATE THE KANTO REGION IN POKEMON!

Like, I know they had to start somewhere, I get it, and it was great for its time. But the battle system is broken in some pretty important ways and unbalanced in the ways that it isn’t broken, there’s one only Dragon type that you’re not likely to catch, only one Ghost type that gets its advantage against Psychics taken away by also being Poison with no alternatives(since the entire Bug type is one of the things that’s broken) and the Pokemon sprites look... Like That. And if you do anything out of the ordinary(and you would have eventually due to either rumors or curiosity) the whole game unravels into a garbled mess.

The Pokemon designs are very simplistic(which is fair enough, all things considered) and while I don’t dislike any Pokemon, no Kanto Pokemon breaks my top fifty. This wouldn’t grate on me so much if the complaints that always show up about the new Pokemon didn’t boil down to:

“It’s just a bird”

“it’s just a rodent”

“it’s literally a pile of trash”

And on and on and on.

Then there’s the evil team and, honestly, what were Team Rocket even doing? Like, Giovanni’s big reveal feels like it should’ve been some important story event but other than a few spots like Lavender Town they’re literally just another trainer class. They only really become relevant in Gold and Silver, and that’s because they’re falling apart and trying to get their boss to come out of retirement! And yet they’re heralded as the end-all, be-all of evil Pokemon characters.

And the anime. Oh god, the anime. Strap in, because this is where I really get angry.

So, first off, everyone except Butterfree and maybe Brock’s Zubat are assholes who constantly give Ash shit, even if it’s completely unjustified. The worst of this from my perspective was the opening for the episode with Bill’s lighthouse. Ash is excited about having a full team of Pokemon and whatever amount of badges he had at the time(I don’t remember how many because I don’t rewatch it that often since it makes me angry) and is chattering about it because he’s a happy kid.

However, Misty and the Narrator seem to think that he’s on an ego trip and needs to be brought down a peg, so they point out that he got the badges and team because the gym leaders and Pokemon felt sorry for him. This is a bald faced lie, by the way.

On the Pokemon side of things, we have Pikachu, his starter(a completely valid way to get a Pokemon by the way) who he had to risk his life for just so it wouldn’t hate him. Butterfree, who he technically caught by battling it(throwing the ball before calling an attack counts in the games, so it should count here) and then trained up through two evolutions in less than a week. Pidgeotto, who he also caught by battling(I think). Bulbasaur, who hated him(and humans in general) until he saw how good he was and even then only joined after a battle. And Charmander and Squirtle, who he didn’t battle but did thoroughly impress(in Charmander’s case by literally saving its life).

Then there’s the Gym Leaders. of the two that I know for a fact he’d have faced by then (who also both happen to be there, what a coincidence) in both cases he was interrupted just when he was about to deliver the finishing blow, and then impressed them with how he dealt with the interruption. However, instead of Brock or even one of the Pokemon pointing this out, it’s just treated as one of many “lol yeah Ash sucks” moments and after he goes and catches a Krabby with his bare hands to get back some self-esteem prove them wrong it’s never discussed.

And then there’s the executive meddling. Do you want to know why Ash releases Butterfree? Why Charmeleon and Primeape just don’t listen, but Ash never switches Char out for someone who will? It is because the writers were legitimately required to keep him as a moronic rookie with a poorly-made but still marketable team. They were thankfully able to(mostly) leave this mindset (and the part where everyone’s an asshole) behind from Orange Islands onward, but yeah. This.

And let me just say, in-universe the Kanto League is in shambles. Of the gyms, Pewter is fine even if Brock’s family isn’t, Cerulean was giving away badges(shirking of duties), Vermilion is fine even if Surge is a dick, Celadon was turning people away just because they couldn’t handle the cacophony of smells in their perfume side business(not only am I pretty sure that isn’t a valid reason to refuse a gym challenge, but the ban was issued by gym trainers, rather than Erika herself, which I’m pretty sure is even less allowed)(and for the record I can barely smell anything and I would’ve been overwhelmed in there), Fuchsia was actually fairly pleasant, Saffron was being run by a mentally unstable and emotionally deprived woman with psychic powers who saw other people as playthings, Cinnabar was pretending it didn’t exist(shirking duties: extreme edition) just to avoid tourists, and Viridian is literally run by a crime lord, and when Ash was there two and a half known criminals with no disguise were covering for him. 

Also, the referee in his match against Ritchy clearly had some sort of vendetta against him, since getting kidnapped in the middle of a match was apparently grounds for possible elimination and he was given no recovery period and sleep is a valid status effect even in red and blue and should not count as a Knock Out. There’s a bunch of other issues I have with Indigo League but this is supposed to be about Kanto in general.

My second biggest problem (after Indigo League) is the over-saturation. everything either has to have Kanto, or reference Kanto, or have Kanto characters and i’m SICK OF IT. I don’t care if Red’s showing up for the twelfth time. I don’t care if we have a chance to get a Charizard. My first response to the Let’s Go games was “why?”

So yeah, I hate Kanto and any genwunners can lodge their complaints with my over-leveled Excadrill. 

#pokemon #rant #pokemon anime #pokemon generation 1 #kanto #long post