#‘i want to punch you in your perfect teeth’ or whatever he says in cacw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

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Steve Rogers

Character Study

I just realized two things this morning, both pertaining to this scene specifically:

https://youtu.be/iaoxsOs8ENg

When he said that at the end, he wasn’t going "yeah it looks good," he meant the word as in "biggest jerk/moron."

Why do I say this? Because it just occurred to me that Steve probably has Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Whenever someone mentions his super soldier physique he becomes uncomfortable and always changes the subject, or (as in the start of the clip) straight up tells them he doesn't like it.

He does that right from the get-go in CATFA, never sure how to handle nurses or SSR personnel flirting with him in a physical way, and when Bucky points out how tall and muscular he is he doesn’t say anything and then only delivers answers in short clips.

“I thought you were smaller” (no response).

“What happened to you?” (I joined the army)

“Did it hurt?” (A little)

“Is this permanent?” (So far)

Notice how quickly Bucky drops it. He gets the information he needs and he doesn’t ask any more than that because he recognizes the topic makes Steve uncomfortable.

Straight after getting the serum he chases down that Hydra agent, and when he finally has time to slow down and realize his body is a whole lot different, to process, the look on his face isn’t “finally,” it’s “whose body is this, because it’s not mine.” That body is immediately branded Captain America by Senator Brandt, and on top of never getting time to accept this new form as Steve Rogers he is given a false personality to act on stage as Cap.

Coulson’s hero worship in Avengers follows this same pattern, with Steve knowing that people only see Captain America (what he associates with his super soldier physique) and not Steve Rogers.

In CATWS, when on the run and the lab tech at the Apple store jokingly calls Steve a “Specimen,” he looks extremely uncomfortable. There is a scene or two where there is a mirror involved, and he almost looks at his own reflection as if he doesn’t recognize himself. The museum scene where they show the before and after images of his body zooms in on his face; he looks like he’s attending someone’s funeral almost (Steve Rogers’). The scene where he remembers basic training and he locks eyes with his past/memory self? He looks like he’s seeing somebody he knew who died and that person looks at him and doesn’t recognize they’re one and the same.

In AoU, you see the unresolved PTSD in his nightmare scene where he can’t come back from the war. He’s stuck in his captain’s dress uniform, and the only thing keeping him on the ground in the scene is Peggy, who knew and accepted him for who he was prior to the serum. At the end, we see his worst nightmare yet- he is left alone in an empty room with no one there to See Him.

In CACW, he grimaces when Tony references his “ideal physique” (sometimes I just wanna punch you in your perfect teeth).

Infinity War and Endgame are unique, because we see him most comfortable with himself. He’s wearing a forties hairstyle, and Captain America is on the run. He no longer feels he has to uphold whatever image that comes with it.

The time travel scene really brought this home for me because a) he was uncomfortable with Tony scrutinizing his appearance and b) the line after the fight never sat well contextually after the immediate preceding scene of Tony ogling him.

In fact, throughout all the movies, the only time Steve wears tight clothes is when it is in direct association to his suit/gear, i.e. when he dons the mantle of Captain America or he’s down to the undershirt underneath it. When in civvies, he wears looser clothing if at all possible (even his workout clothes at the start of CAWS are a little loose for people who typically wear the Under Armor brand, suggesting he got a larger size for that reason even if they are still very tight - the forties wasn’t known for skin-tight clothes either).

Steve never expected to be given super soldier serum. He just wanted to fight for his country. He accepted the offer when given as it was his only chance, but it wasn’t his initial end goal. He had accepted and had come to terms with his physical limitations prior to the serum. And here’s the thing; back then, Asthma was seen as a mental illness rather than a physical illness. The world, not just America, was extremely Ableist. The world loved Captain America, sure, but it hated Steve Rogers. He is always easy to spot in a scene in his cap gear, but watching Avengers again I realized how easily he fades into the background scenes in civvies, and it has to do with his posture and how he wears this stronger body as if he isn’t entirely at home in it (unless he’s putting on the act).

This is why Peggy’s death hits him so hard in CACW. Peggy, who was interested and accepted him prior to the serum, who he clung to in the present day as the last person who knew him before (because Bucky wasn’t there). When she died it was like Steve died with her because no one knew him from BEFORE anymore.

This is why he is so desperate, verging on denial, that Bucky isn’t gone and that only the Winter Soldier remains in CATWS and CACW. Bucky, who was his best friend as children, who stood beside him through everything despite the Ableist society, whose response to the words “you gonna follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” Was an immediate and adamant “Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb to back away from a fight, I’m following him.” Meaning “I see you. I still see you. You’re still that guy, you’re still my friend.” Why it makes it even more poignant a scene in CATWS when Bucky doesn’t remember him even in a retro Cap mock-up suit, but recognizes him from a throw-away line in the pre-serum days. Why Bucky telling Steve he wasn’t the Winter Soldier by talking about Sarah Rogers and how Steve used to put newspapers in his shoes as a kid meant so much more than anything he could have said about their soldier days. He was still saying “I see you. I still see you. You’re still that guy, you’re still my friend.” And why Steve dropping the shield at the end of CACW was not only easy for him to do; choose an imposter life or choose to be himself, and that inner struggle finally coming to a head the true Civil War not between Captain America and Iron Man but truly between Captain America and Steve Rogers with Steve finally winning out, and why he looks more at ease with himself in Infinity War.

In conclusion, Steve probably has BBD tied directly to his pre-serum and post-serum physique, due to how strongly he associates Captain America to the post-serum and how Steve Rogers wasn’t allowed to have a place in that life outside of the pre-serum past. In general, Steve is always uncomfortable about his post-serum appearance and doesn’t act like he feels that he belongs in his own body. He looks at his reflection as if looking at a stranger, maybe trying to see that skinny Brooklyn kid and not finding him. He just is not comfortable with his own body post-serum unless he’s pretending to in the role of Captain America.

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DISCLAIMER: I myself do not have BDD. However, I know someone IRL who does and they were fine with reading over my speculations, and they think they’re pretty solid. I’m not trying to say this is 100% irrefutable fact, but it seems to hit a lot of marks and I personally headcanon this. If you don’t, that’s completely fine. Anyway, here is their reaction to my meta analysis:

1.) I have so few words, because you are so so right. Especially after he had spent most of his childhood physically disabled, and having got that body strictly in result of the serum he probably had so many issues relating to his appearance and even to am extent his identity.

2.) When he made that comment I saw a moment of self deflection. When I looked in the mirror before, what I saw wasn't myself. To have myself laying on the ground right there, it would be so hard to think anything else but "oh", or a comment like caps. You nailed that so hard.

#mcu #steve rogers #captain america

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