#<- because he generally does not care for anything other than. his ultimate goal of killing the player he doesnt talk much with others

[absurdumsid]

slowly getting sick of the horror.... speaks.. like this.... dialogue im shoving that onto dust now

#fanfic authors ily but i will now put ur hc onto a different character teehee #sid rambles #i just i think a lot ok #as a HUGE believer of the dust is korean hc #it just fits #it just fits.... #<- like he would struggle to remember words so he needs to pause a little #or. if u are not a korean dust hc believer (i WILL convert u somehow) #<- because he generally does not care for anything other than. his ultimate goal of killing the player he doesnt talk much with others #+ so it results in this sort of. derailed (insane/jumbled u can choose) speech because he has to REMEMBER how to speak (he has been alone #+ for so long)

[antianakin]

Honestly when people call Cassian Andor morally gray, mostly from the movie, I kinda side-eye? Because he doesn't really fit that. He's, he's a spy but the two things I see called morally gray are:

Shooting the other spy in the beginning, which was a sad choice to make, but the man was injured and they were being chased. There's no way for him to carry the man to safety while fleeing the stormtroopers, and leaving him there would have been a fate worse that death, we know what the Empire does to suspected spies, along with not risking intel leaks.

And setting out to assassinate Jyn's father, who at that point, nobody had confirmation he was anything other than a man loyal to the Empire, building a weapon of mass destruction. Its reasonable to think getting rid of the head engineer behind that project would either delay it or cause issues. The Rebellion was operating with less information than we, the audience had.

Both hard decisions made during hard times, but to me, Cassian Andor at least is an average guy, trying to make the best decision he can in basically the worst times ever.

I mean, I think that a lot of this is what MAKES Cassian morally gray. Being morally gray doesn't have to mean he doesn't care, or that his ultimate goal isn't something generally good and altruistic, either. Cassian is fighting for the greater good, he's trying to take down a tyrannical fascist Empire, he's doing what he's doing because he firmly believes that it's what's best for the entire galaxy and because it will ultimately save a lot of lives in the long run.

Being morally gray just generally means that the character operates outside of the more strict dichotomies of "good" and "evil." Luke Skywalker is pretty unequivocally "good" and he would likely never do the things Cassian does even though they both are aiming for the same goal. Luke would never even AGREE to assassinate Jyn's father, especially if he has to use Jyn to find her father in the first place. This would be something that Luke would consider wrong and he'd refuse to do it, even though there are reasons to think Galen might be working for the Empire and that it could be better for everyone if he was dead. And on the other end of the spectrum you have someone like Palpatine, or even Anakin (specifically during the OT) who aren't out for the greater good at all and are always motivated solely by selfish greed and nothing else.

So someone like Cassian operates somewhere between these two extremes. Cassian is willing to kill an innocent man who is his ally because he cannot take the risk of either of them getting captured by the Empire. He can presumably trust that HE'D hold up under torture, but he cannot trust that this informant (who has been pretty anxious and flustered so far) would do the same. Cassian's options are to stay and get captured with him, escape without him, or give him a quick and painless death and then escape on his own. The honorable option that we'd probably see a character like Luke choose is the first one, staying with the informant and trying to find a way for both of them to escape even though it runs a VERY high risk of both of them being captured. Killing an innocent man is an objectively evil thing to do, but Cassian looks at all of his options and weighs the risks and ultimately chooses the option that is best for his cause even if it requires doing something objectively evil.

And you ARE supposed to recognize that. There's this whole moment immediately after Cassian kills the guy that Diego Luna makes this really devastating face where you can tell he HATES what he just did, he HATES that he felt like he had to make that choice at all, but then he lets it go and escapes. This is not something that he just brushes off like it's nothing, it's something that does weigh on him and that's part of his whole arc within this film. He has to decide how to live with the choices he has made and the reasons he has made them and whether those reasons are worth what it costs to him personally. He obviously ultimately decides NOT to kill Galen because he cares about Jyn and he knows that killing Galen will mean ruining the connection that's been beginning to build between himself and Jyn. For the moment, he chooses to care about Jyn and Jyn's happiness more than he cares about the cause of the Rebellion. And at the end, he and the other volunteers all choose to go to Scarif because they cannot just abandon this cause that they've all given up so much for, that they've all had to do objectively evil things for. It HAS to be worth something, killing that informant HAS to be worth it or what does that make him? Without the cause, he's just a murderer.

And all of this is part of what makes him such a compelling character. Often these days we see morally gray characters in the position of the villain, where they have perhaps a sympathetic motivation but they're going about it all wrong and they have to be stopped because they've let their desire for a better world be corrupted into simply a desire for power. Some of these stories get done better than others, obviously, but this can be a really powerful narrative. But Cassian sits slightly differently where he is unequivocally one of The Good Guys, but the narrative posits the idea that sometimes sacrifices are required to achieve "the greater good." When your enemy is pure evil and willing to use tricks and lies to beat you, sometimes you have to give up some of your own moral code in order to beat them at their own game and protect as many people as possible. Sometimes being selfless looks like setting yourself on fire so that everyone else can stay warm.

And like I mentioned in the Andor post that I assume this is probably in reaction to, what I love most about this is how it relates to the Prequels Jedi and the themes therein, the struggle they have with maintaining who they are and the morals they live by when there's a galactic civil war going on and the other side of it is willing to commit massive atrocities in order to win. By fighting in the war, the Jedi are having to compromise, but if they refused to fight at all, they would lose everything that made them who they are. The Council chooses to commit treason in order to save the Republic from its own elected Chancellor. It's objectively morally wrong to commit treason, but it lands morally gray because of the motivation and the circumstances of the choice they are making.

Often doing the right thing isn't the same as doing the easy thing. Being selfless usually comes with making sacrifices. We see the the bigger "cosmic" version of this with the Prequels Jedi during the Clone War, but Rogue One and Andor show us another version of it from the perspective of the little people, those whose names and stories will never be remembered by history, but whose sacrifices paved the way for people like Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa to step in and be the heroes who took down the Empire. Cassian and the Prequels Jedi fall into a very similar thematic category in their stories and it's honestly SUCH a compelling story and I love the way Rogue One and Andor chose to follow up on that theme.

#star wars #cassian andor #rogue one #andor #star wars andor #jedi #prequels jedi #pro jedi

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

What parts / bits of Papa Titan's speech do you agree with when he was talking to Luz about Belos? Was he right when was said that Belos liked being the hero of his own delusions and was afraid of things he couldn't control?

So there are two major lines that I think the Titan is dead wrong about Belos: the first is “You assume Belos’ goal comes from a genuine place" and "that man doesn't care about anything but his own need to be the hero."

The first line feels less about explaining Belos' motivation and more like the Titan is trying to absolve Luz's (narratively stupid and overly drawn out ) guilt about "helping" Belos. Because Belos' goals do come from a genuine place; he really thinks he is out there protecting humanity and that he will be thanked for it. He tells Luz that he does not want to see "one more human life destroyed by this place." The man carves up his own arms and ears to achieve his goals! Belos may be genuinely wrong about the target of his mission but he was raised and encouraged to be a witch hunter (by his brother!) and it's the only thing he has left justifying his horrific existence so he has to go through with it.

The second line is missing a lot of context as to why he feels the need to be the hero. A lot of people think that Belos just wants praise and glory and to be the Witch Hunter General but his actions and the story focuses more on the trauma connected to his brother than any desire for fame and glory. He set out to the Demon Realm to save his brother but when that failed, his goal warped from "save brother" to "save humanity because I could not save my only family." His desire to help Luz and bring them home in King's Tide is proof of this.

The Titan's lines are extremely reductive and either ignores a lot of context behind Belos' actions or are flat out wrong. The only thing I do agree with is that Belos is afraid of things he cannot control. Growing up in a Puritan community, he would have been taught to fear the Unknown, the Other. Anyone who didn't fit into the rigid standards of Puritan society was deemed suspicious. The show supports this reading when Masha says that the Wittebane brothers became witch hunters "to fit in." They talk about how the brothers tried to adapt to their new home but failed, so the two adopted the path of violence to gain acceptance and security in the community. With that background and mindset, Philip would be wary of anything different because he was different, and anything outside the norms could threaten his status as well.

We see this a lot in real world communities where anyone who is different is stamped down into conformity because such differences upset the status quo and threaten the identity of the community. It's a toxic environment that breeds suspicion that then can be turned onto anyone, even those already on the "inside."

When Philip arrives in the Boiling Isles, everything is turned up to 11. The inhabitants look just like the creatures he's been taught are pure evil, he can't eat the food, and the very environment itself is dangerous to humans. If Luz had a hard time adjusting to the BI even though she loves witchcraft and all things weird, then for Philip it would have been literal hell. And then he finds his brother alive and thriving in this hellscape and when he dies, Philip has no one to guide and support him. Small wonder he never changes.

I think what's most disappointing about the Titan's speech is just how dismissive it is; we could have had a great story about how trying to adhere to toxic conformity is ultimately destructive, about how small-minded communities traumatize children and continue the cycle of violence, and the importance of positive social connections, especially for the community's most vulnerable members.

But instead, the show decided to spit on all that and reduced Philip's complex story to make the protagonist feel better. It's frankly disingenuous and hypocritical that the writers gave the audience all of these tantalizing details that have massive implications for the character and motivations of the central antagonist, only for all of that to be ignored in the end.

#asks #toh critical #toh criticism #the owl house #emperor belos #philip wittebane #toh titan

[theteablogger]

So, I found out about this whole drama through Strange Aeons and her video. But I have one nagging question and there is likely no answer but I'll pose it anyway. What is Andrew Blake/Thanfiction's ultimate end goal? Does he went to enter the friendship circle of celebrities he's a fan of? Does we want to start a Scientology-esque cult? Or is this just an effect of whatever ticks in his head where he can't go about anything without a lot of drama/complexity? What is the rationalization if any?

The only time I've suspected that Andy was trying to get close to celebrities for his own sake was when he was trying to get Molly to introduce him to the cast of Critical Role in 2018--he was extremely fixated on Taliesin Jaffe. Of course, Megan and friends of Andy's are/were fans of Critical Role, too, so I can't be sure that it didn't have something to do with them. Generally, when Andy does things involving celebrities, it's in order to make himself look important and connected, to draw other people closer to him, not because he's actually interested in the celebrity.

I don't see a Scientology-esque cult in Andy's future, both because that would be too much work and because Scientology is ultimately all about money. He doesn't care about money beyond what he needs to pay the bills and keep food on the table.

I think what Andy wants, more than anything, is control over people. He likes to have a core group who will do anything for him, believe whatever he tells them, submit to "trust tests" and the like without questioning him (i.e., when he changes stories to see if anyone will call him on it). He wants people to see him (and praise him) as a super-resourceful, wacky, creative, non-problematic, compassionate genius who knows a little something about everything and is The Most Fun. He'll take that however he can get it.

#andythanfiction #thanfiction #andrew blake #andy blake

[counterfeitphantoms]

What's your interpretation of the Phantom Queen?

Evil? Satan? Any good? Why does she want Jamaa?

I'd look on the wikia, but I am not sure how accurate that is, and the lore of AJ is never in one place. Wish someone made a doc or just a really long thread to reference.

good call on the wiki, there's a lot of flat out incorrect/non-updated info on that 😭 (though @/Asteralium is working on a project to consolidate the lore all in one place!) . my thoughts under the cut because it is a LOT...

BUT if we're talking my interpretation of the canon queen, I believe she flat out IS just evil, flat out. Lesser Phantoms (Common types), on the other hand, likely aren't pure evil and have some form of agency over what they would like to do, and we've seen some even flat out go to Jamaas side with play-wilds phantoms (playable ones) and classics pet phantoms (which is stated they just want to be loved) Along that same vein I think kings generally are pretty evil, not sure of their capacity to really WANT anything else except for what the queen wants to some vague degree (though the king in the books is... odd, he seems VERY set on revenge and he seems to believe he should be the one rightfully ruling over Jamaa)

But back to the queen. hmm. I think her ultimate goal is just to consume more and more land/resources, for no particular reason other than to continue spreading and consuming. She doesn't have some tragic backstory or overarching reason for doing what she does; she just wants MORE, constantly, no matter the cost or harm it may cause. It falls in-line with phantoms pollution theme really well, I think! Since phantoms have recently been established as an evil force thats consistent across all dimensions (play wild and classic are canonically different worlds now, but the phantoms in both are the exact same phantoms that can just hop from world to world using portals); I think they ultimately just want to bring in more and more Jamaas' into their own world (the phantom dimension we see a lot of in playwild, and some in classic) just to assimilate them, thus adding onto their own world as a result!

The Phantom Dimension I think is… expansive, insanely so. It's a large sprawling network of corrupted lands that have become so twisted that nothing except phantoms can live inside of it (think: the phantom badlands in AJC, where phantoms pollute land for their own taking, making it inhospitable to literally anything else); I dont think the alphas (or animals, as a whole) can really begin to grasp what the ultimate endgoal of phantoms really IS. They certainly don't fully know about the Phantom Queen- maybe of her existence, but not her full reach/what her real gameplan even is; though, maybe AJCS greely does considering recently he's been becoming more and more aware of another world besides his own existing & all that! (on the other hand, play wilds alphas dont even KNOW that there's at least 4 kings, and still believe there's only one at the moment, so they absolutely aren't aware of the queen even a little)

Ultimately I think. PQ will never really be satisfied. there'll never be a point where shes just like. okay, pack it up guys we're done here. I think if she manages to assimilate classic or play wilds world, she'll just move onto another Jamaa, then another. She has little care for the destruction she's leaving behind, and absolutely barely even considers animals something worth acknowledging

#jamblr #aj #animal jam #im so sorry this is so longwinded i had 2 cut out a lot of random thoughts . nightmare

[sugurushimura]

[VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Please read THE ORIGINAL VERSION of this analysis. Tumblr won't show the original on dashboards or in tags because it has too many images. I've removed most of the images from this version so that it'll actually show up, but this is not the ideal reading experience. If you'd like to share, please reblog this version so that people will actually see it. Thank you!]

Death Note’s primary characters are not particularly good people — and if that sounds like a massive understatement, that’s because it is. From superdetectives who employ human rights violations to solve their cases to career criminals to outright mass murderers, all of our leads are willing to go to immoral lengths to achieve their goals, even (and especially) those who claim to be acting in the name of justice. That’s a given; if anything, that’s part of the appeal. What sort of person, then, could claim the title of Most Hated Death Note Character?

Chances are, you already know the answer: It’s Higuchi Kyosuke, Head of Technological Development for the Yotsuba Group and, more importantly, the Third Kira. (If you’re wondering, I do have the results of my own completely unscientific survey to back this up — and if you seek out your average Death Note fan, chances are they’ll be in agreement.)

Higuchi is hateable by design. Externally, he has extremely sharp features and an unnerving grin, appearing unconventional at his best and downright monstrous at his worst. Internally, he is an unpleasant man who delights in using mass murder to achieve his goals. He is very thoroughly a villain, and it’s difficult to say anything good about him.

Death Note fans often paint Higuchi as a man who is obsessed with money above all else and cares little for morals. In some ways, that’s the natural thing to think — he isn’t exactly the type of character who invites close inspection — but it isn’t actually true. Money is only a secondary desire of Higuchi’s. 

What Higuchi Kyosuke really desires is status, stemming from a deep insecurity and an obsession with how others perceive him. 

When Light tasks Rem with finding a new Kira, he lists certain requirements for the job, and they’re relatively simple: The new Kira must be greedy enough to use the notebook for his personal gain, he must have a decent amount of societal status, and he must be willing to continue the regular executions of criminals. 

Higuchi’s role in Death Note is thus defined by those three factors; they’re what Rem uses to choose him in the first place. We don’t see exactly how long she observes Higuchi for before she chooses him, and we don’t see what he does to check off these three requirements, but we know that Rem ultimately gives Higuchi the notebook. Then, in Chapter 43, L theorizes that the Yotsuba Kira is “a stupid coward who can’t do anything on his own.” 

Higuchi lives up to both of these descriptions well, and we can assume that he’s been a shady person even before Rem gave him the Death Note, considering he’s connected to people like Kaneboshi Ginzo who Higuchi himself refers to as a bad person.

The specific qualifier that the placeholder Kira is “greedy” can mean a lot of things, though. One would generally assume it refers to a desire for money above all else, and since Higuchi’s actions as Kira focus on improving the Yotsuba Group’s profits (and, thus, his own profits), it might appear at first glance that pure cash is all Higuchi is after. This, however, isn’t the case.

Namikawa’s assessment of Kira’s goals provides the first look into what Higuchi is really after.

Namikawa assumes that the Kira they’re dealing with is the original, but other than that, his observations here hold water. If Higuchi really were after money above all else, it would be simple enough for him to use the Death Note to get rich(er) quickly. He chooses not to — in fact, Light finds in Chapter 43 that no deaths to the specific benefit of any of the Yotsuba members have occurred since murders began, meaning that Higuchi hasn’t made any kills that benefit him more than his colleagues or directly give him money. (This is shown in the image before Namikawa, if you missed it.)

What Namikawa realizes is that the Yotsuba Kira is actually after social status; above all else, he wants to be respected and looked up to by those around him as a man of authority and talent. What’s more, Higuchi goes out of his way to call these goals stupid when they’re laid out in front of him and the rest of the group.

If he weren’t Kira, he’d have no reason to say this; what use would there be in insulting the motivations of a mass murderer with the power to easily kill him? All he’s done is make himself look suspicious by reacting this way. Most likely, he views Namikawa’s comments as an attack that he has to rebuke; even if he can’t directly out himself as Kira, he can at least let it be known that he personally is above such petty goals as social status. He wants his colleagues to think he’s unconcerned with these things in order to disguise that they matter to him so much; he realizes, on some level, that it’s pathetic to be so obsessed with status and wealth. According to Mido in Chapter 50, this is a regular occurrence. 

Of course, Higuchi would never admit any of this in front of his colleagues. In private, however — or at least when only Rem is around — it’s a different story. 

First, in Chapter 46, when talking about his plans to marry Misa, Higuchi lists money, status, and a beautiful wife as the three things he’ll have gained through the power of the Death Note. What’s particularly interesting here is the comment about others being jealous of him for those things. He’s not just after some extra money, a higher position in the company, and Misa’s hand in marriage for the sake of it; he wants other people to envy him. In his mind, social status and enviability are tied together — perhaps because he’s an intensely envious man himself.

Then, in Chapter 51, while contemplating how to kill Matsuda, Higuchi mentions “fame and fortune” as the two particular things he’s after. Again, though, that isn’t the most interesting thing here — what’s interesting is that the consequence about being revealed to be Kira that he’s so worried about is having to leave Yotsuba. If Matsuda announces that Higuchi is Kira on live TV, surely this’ll catch L’s attention and lead to Higuchi’s arrest and possible execution. But no — Higuchi spares no thought to the possible end of his life as a free man. He’s concerned about being driven from his job in disgrace. The implication here is that Higuchi’s reputation and status are more important to him than his own life.

That’s pretty extreme. Why would Higuchi’s reputation matter so much to him that even his own survival doesn’t merit mentioning? Why is Higuchi pursuing social status so obsessively in the first place when he already descends from a wealthy family and works as a high-ranking executive at a large corporation? He clearly has a decent amount of status already; that was one of Light’s requirements to Rem for the stand-in Kira in the first place, too. 

Higuchi cares deeply about his social status and how others perceive him because he’s deeply insecure — about his status, yes, but also about his intelligence, motivations, and more. He habitually compares himself to those around him and comes up short. This feeling of inferiority drives him to use the Death Note in order to compensate. 

The death meetings themselves are fundamentally evidence of this. Bringing a group of colleagues together to decide who to kill gives Higuchi some additional resources and ideas, but that’s all. The meetings are more of a liability than anything else; the more people who know that Kira is working for Yotsuba, the more people who might crack under pressure or otherwise slip up and alert L or the police, especially when those people’s lives are actively being threatened. On top of that, the meetings are being held at the Yotsuba office, where someone could listen in — as Matsuda does. The cons outweigh the pros by far. 

The only reason Higuchi would choose to operate this way is if he was convinced that his own skills and intelligence weren’t enough to act as Kira on his own. One might argue that the other seven were there primarily to serve as scapegoats if it ever came down to it, but then, why specifically invite people like Namikawa and Mido who have a reputation for intelligence if not to hear their insights? Insecurity is the only reason Higuchi could have chosen to operate as Kira this way.

His insecurities bleed through into more than just the way he plans things and functions as Kira, though. His interactions with those around him, namely his colleagues, is constantly colored by them.

The first line in all of Death Note immediately attributed to Higuchi — the one that establishes his character — is spent insulting Takahashi, and then not-so-subtly threatening him right afterwards.

(These panels also point out that Higuchi has chosen mostly younger executives to attend these meetings. Perhaps he's disdainful towards his older, more old-fashioned colleagues.)

The insecure bully character type is not exactly uncommon; we’ve seen it all before. Some teenager who isn’t sure of himself takes it out on the kids in his class, especially those lower on the social food chain than he is, in an attempt to soothe his own internal struggles and make himself appear better than them. Higuchi is pretty much the embodiment of this representative teenager, except he’s a middle-aged businessman and doesn’t have the excuse of adolescent angst on his side.

This is the moment that tells us who Higuchi is — not as Kira, but as a person — and he follows that example for the rest of the story. It’s as much a pattern as anything can be for a relatively minor character, and it’s clearly been happening for longer than we as the audience are able to see. Takahashi is the most common victim, and he’s also the easiest target since most of the Yotsuba guys seem to think lowly of him — none as transparently as Higuchi, of course, who calls him an idiot every chance he gets. 

Other common targets include Hatori, the Yotsuba president’s illegitimate son who doesn’t seem to grasp the gravity of the Kira situation until it’s too late, and Shimura, the only member (presumably) hailing from a working-class family whose colleagues treat him dismissively due to what they believe to be paranoia. 

Some of the rudeness directed at Shimura in particular is in response to things that could threaten Higuchi, like calls for Kira to reveal his identity, but there’s a greater underlying thread here. Together, Takahashi, Hatori, and Shimura are the least respected of their group (except for maybe Higuchi himself). They’re acceptable targets, and next to them, Higuchi can make himself look intelligent, respectable, and level-headed. Maybe he can even convince himself that he really is if he tries hard enough. As Mido and Namikawa mention while discussing who Kira might be in Chapter 50, this behavior is nothing new. His colleagues expect this of him enough to realize that people like Takahashi are only in the meetings at all for the express purpose of making Higuchi look better.

[IMAGE REMOVED]

Every so often, Higuchi will toss out a dismissive comment about the group as a whole, often for their perceived careless handling of the killings. 

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This is pretty rich coming from the guy who complains about the routine Kira murders keeping him busy and kills people who committed crimes under extenuating circumstances because he can’t be assed to do any extra research. More than that, though, it’s an attempt to posture; Higuchi wants to appear aloof and condescending in front of his colleagues so that they take him seriously. It doesn’t work, generally speaking, but the effort is there. Outside of these broad comments, though, he avoids taking shots at those with more status within their group than him.

Except, that is, for Namikawa.

Higuchi isn’t constantly rude to Namikawa like he is to Takahashi; in fact, he agrees with him on occasion (though not until after people like Ooi and Mido have already done so). Still, he does get short with him sometimes, which is interesting for a man who is generally polite to those like Ooi and Mido, whom he acknowledges as more talented and intelligent than him.

[IMAGE REMOVED]

Notice that Higuchi is criticizing Namikawa here for acting superior — the very thing that Higuchi himself is constantly doing. Not that Namikawa seems particularly bothered.

That’s what makes Higuchi’s perception of Namikawa particularly interesting: Higuchi dislikes Namikawa, but in many ways, he mimics him. Namikawa is aloof and often condescending, but he never directly insults a colleague to their face. Higuchi tries to act aloof and instead just makes himself look like an asshole. Namikawa tends to come across as very relaxed, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair and talking with his hands. Higuchi himself is fairly high-strung, as his eventual breakdown reveals, but he certainly puts on a show of acting relaxed, like a crude parody of Namikawa’s mannerisms. The best example of this is directly after Namikawa’s little speech on Kira’s true goals. I used this image a bit earlier, but I’ll include it again here for easy access.

[IMAGE REMOVED]

There are so many levels of posturing going on in this panel. It isn’t even funny (except it is). 

Higuchi’s simultaneous imitation of and scorn for Namikawa cements him even further as a deeply insecure individual. It all comes down to envy. 

Namikawa is everything Higuchi wants to be but isn’t. Like Higuchi, Namikawa was born to a wealthy family, following in the footsteps of his father to become a high-ranking executive within the Yotsuba Group. Unlike Higuchi, Namikawa is composed and in near-complete control of how he presents himself, which has led to his reputation as one of the Yotsuba Group’s most talented and intelligent executives — all this while being 30 years old, the youngest of any of the executives present for the meetings. Not to mention he’s very conventionally attractive.

Higuchi wants to be like Namikawa, but despite his best efforts, he just isn’t. Even with his clear envy and dislike for Namikawa, though, he invites him to the meetings because he values his insights. Although Higuchi clearly doesn’t want to admit it, he believes that Namikawa is more intelligent than him — and he does admit it, at least on some internal level, just by merit of placing Namikawa on the meeting’s roster. Surely that must sting.

Higuchi’s attempts to appear relaxed and above-it-all go beyond just his imitations of Namikawa, too. Fake laughter seems to be a favorite of his, especially during the date scene in Chapter 48.

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His insecurities show in a few other ways throughout the Yotsuba arc, too. For one thing, he has a habit of talking about how Kira works to his colleagues. He disguises this as theorizing, but it’s still suspicious for someone as notably uncreative as Higuchi to make too many spot-on jumps in logic. Using his knowledge of Kira lets him try to gain respect by acting more clever than he is, and he can’t help himself.

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Speaking of acting suspiciously, Higuchi is really enthusiastic about killing people. One might expect this from the guy acting as Kira, but he doesn’t do a very good job of hiding it, either. As brought up before, one of his establishing lines is a veiled threat to Takahashi, and things don’t get better from there. Later on, Higuchi is first to suggest killing Matsuda. Then, he implies to Hatori’s face that Kira will kill him for his outburst — and he goes on to kill Hatori the next day.

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He initially wants to kill Misa when Aiber-as-Coil tells the conspirators that she might know L, although he seems to change his mind in favor of marrying her in order to control her Second Kira powers. While in private with Rem, he implies that he plans to kill the remaining members of the meetings after he uses his status as Kira to become company president, although the wording is somewhat ambiguous. During his race to find Matsuda’s real name, he considers killing pretty much everyone involved before Rem talks him down, and the fact alone that he owns a gun (which is very illegal in Japan) is pretty telling. 

Before any of those, though, mere moments after taunting Hatori for what will be his death, Higuchi tries to insist that his colleagues should have Kira kill Eraldo Coil, which prompts Mido to react as such:

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Possibly the most succinct response to Higuchi as Kira anyone has ever given — and, what’s more, the wording here implies that this is a regular occurrence, possibly even more than what we’ve seen over the course of the arc so far. Like a high school bully, Higuchi berates those he perceives as weaker than him; also like a high school bully, Higuchi grasps onto the first thing that could possibly give him power and lords it over everyone else. When he has the power to easily kill other people, he becomes obsessed with killing. Again, it’s amazingly suspicious, but he’s so desperate to use the Death Note to soothe his feelings of inferiority that he can’t (or won’t) stop himself.

Higuchi is an incredibly insecure person, then; that much is clear. But it isn’t just that — his job at Yotsuba constantly exacerbates his fears that others are above him. Not only is he less talented than most of his colleagues (a fact that most people around him seem to know), but he’s technically ranked lower than most of them.

Higuchi’s official title is Head of Technological Development. Other than Shimura, Head of Personnel, the other six are all higher-ranked Vice Presidents, including Takahashi, Hatori, and Namikawa (of course). What’s more, this wasn’t always the case. Higuchi used to hold a higher position within the company — presumably that of a Vice President, as I believe the original Japanese text states — before he was demoted.

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Namikawa notes Higuchi’s habit of insulting others, which we’ve already discussed and which points directly to his insecurity. For a man like this, who secretly doubts his own abilities and obsesses over how others see him, demotion must be a staggering blow. That likely contributes to why the Higuchi we see during the Yotsuba arc is so concerned with status, on top of his already-existing insecurity; he has to prove he isn’t the incompetent fool that he believes his colleagues see him as. It’s also worth noting that Shimura, as the Head of Personnel, likely had a hand in Higuchi’s demotion; perhaps that’s part of why Higuchi seems to dislike him.

For what it’s worth, Higuchi isn’t wrong in believing his colleagues dislike him. Mido and Namikawa prove time and time again, particularly in Chapter 50, that they view Higuchi mostly as a petty, incompetent idiot. Takahashi clearly doesn’t like him much, either, as the most frequent victim of his bullying; Shimura, who is similarly mistreated and suspects Higuchi of being Kira, also obviously dislikes him. That’s already the majority of the Yotsuba executives we’re acquainted with. Although we don’t see Hatori react to Higuchi much, Higuchi’s occasional derision towards him and willingness to revel in his death indicate that they have an at least somewhat negative relationship. Ooi and Kida don’t get much of a look in at all, but Ooi generally plays a neutral leader role, so that’s par for the course on his part. 

In short: Higuchi’s posturing falls completely flat, and his colleagues largely see him for what he is, or at least find him unpleasant.

So how much does all of this talk about insecurity really matter? Enough to drive him to use the Death Note, sure, but Higuchi doesn’t seem like a very morally upstanding person anyways. Actually, it’s cause for something even more drastic than murder: It’s very nearly cause for suicide.

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At first he’s only holding the gun to his head for show, but his finger clearly trembles over and squeezes the trigger as he thinks about his prospects. Watari shoots his hand at that moment for a good reason. If another few seconds had gone by, there might not have been a Kira to arrest.

When Higuchi says here that his life is over, one might read that literally; Higuchi is about to lose his freedom and potentially his life when L arrests him as Kira. Think back to Higuchi’s reaction to the Sakura TV special, though; he certainly wasn’t concerned about being arrested or executed then. He was scared that he would have to leave the company with a tarnished reputation. Here, when he says “my life,” he’s talking figuratively about his career and reputation.

It isn’t the thought of capture that nearly drives him to shoot himself. It’s the thought of having his reputation ruined — of being exposed to the world not only as a murderer, but a man who committed murder (many, many murders!) to compensate for his own personal failures. Is there anything more pathetic than being exposed like that? Could a man like Higuchi ever allow himself to live in such a reality? No. Death is a more welcoming option for him at that moment.

It’s clear that Higuchi is motivated by status more than money, and this desire for status is driven by a strong need for validation in the face of deep insecurities. Underneath the veneer, Higuchi doesn’t seem to think of himself as particularly smart or talented, or even as very likable. Why, then, does he think he deserves the success that the Death Note could bring him?

Simply put, Higuchi genuinely thinks of himself as a good person.

In Chapter 38, Higuchi provides a lot of insight into how he rationalizes the murders to himself, although we don’t know it’s him yet. It seems like he was pro-Kira even before being given the notebook and views the deaths of criminals as a good thing, particularly corrupt businessmen since they damage the economy. The irony is lost on him, apparently.

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What’s more, Higuchi seems to believe that the world now depends on Kira in order to enforce justice, citing the doubling of crime rates after Kira’s disappearance. In his mind, he’s carrying out a necessary service for the world while the original Kira slacks off. 

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The work he’s doing is heroic, and he doesn’t mind doing it because he’s a good person. Since he’s such a good person, doesn’t he have the right to use this power to get himself the respect that he’s always deserved? 

It’s also worth mentioning that Higuchi is the only Kira who shows any real respect for his shinigami, or shinigami more generally. Compared to Misa, Mikami, and especially Light, it’s almost shocking how polite he is with Rem. He never insults or lashes out at her the way he does with his colleagues, and while this could be because he’s afraid of her, he doesn’t really seem afraid. In fact, he talks freely to Rem about his motivations and goals with remarkably little posturing, and he actively solicits her advice, which he takes into account even when he doesn’t listen to it. 

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He even goes so far as to praise her on occasion, which is extremely abnormal for him.

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It’s almost… healthy? Normal? Something adjacent to it? Although Rem still hates him, of course.

The fact is that Rem is a shinigami, and, as we’ve seen, Higuchi avoids lashing out at those he acknowledges as higher up on the social ladder than him (save Namikawa, for reasons previously discussed). It’s also worth mentioning that Higuchi’s house is remarkably empty, and he’s never referenced as having any social life outside of work. Perhaps he’s relieved to finally have a confidant; perhaps he’s simply deferring to what he realizes is a higher power. Higuchi seems to have a certain respect for social order, and maybe he mistakes this respect for decency. 

Higuchi’s treatment of women in general is interesting for somewhat similar reasons. He’s clearly a sexist, desiring Misa’s hand in marriage in order to show her off as a pretty object of jealousy and generally acting lecherous during the model scene. He very much seems to view women primarily as accessories to his own desires. (Rem, of course, is exempt from this as a shinigami — assuming Higuchi knows her gender in the first place.)

Higuchi isn’t actually a straw misogynist, though. He seems to be very concerned with treating women well — or making sure the women he’s around know that he treats women well. He’s not exactly subtle about that.

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This behavior is consistent throughout his date with Misa, whenever he’s not busy thinking about Kira stuff. Practically the first thing he does when he sees her is offer to buy her a car. He’s generally deferent to her, letting her decide where they go on their date and going along with all her ideas regarding how to prove to each other that they’re Kira with a surprising amount of receptivity. While he might partially be trying to impress her because he wants the Second Kira on his side, this behavior started before he found out Misa might be the Second Kira. He really is just like this. He literally calls himself a gentleman at one point.

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It’s posturing, for sure, but it’s a different kind of posturing than when he’s around his colleagues. He’s still going after validation, but it’s not just respect that he’s after; he wants to be liked. Higuchi really wants women to like him, so he makes a show out of being chivalrous. We know he actually isn’t — he considers killing Misa multiple times, and besides, a truly chivalrous man wouldn’t need to say it over and over again — but perhaps he’s convinced himself. Higuchi respects women, so that’s just another reason he’s a good person! This is why he deserves success!

With this in mind, we can paint a fairly detailed final portrait of the Yotsuba Kira.

Born in 1972, Higuchi grew up largely during the 1980s, a time of economic prosperity for Japan. His privileged upbringing offered him a view of what life had in store for him as a successful adult, and he likely expected to glide into the business world like young men were doing in that decade. 

Then the economy crashed during the 1990s, and, suddenly, Higuchi’s future wasn’t as easy as he had hoped. His father’s fortune and status within Yotsuba were enough to secure him a high-ranking job in the company, but not without effort — effort that was clearly not enough for him to measure up to his more-talented colleagues, especially the younger Namikawa. Perhaps he had noticed a similar inferiority to his peers earlier in his life, but he certainly notices it now.

It gnaws at him, of course; already feeling robbed by the economic situation, he now begins to see enemies in his colleagues, and any self-doubt that had existed inside him before begins to grow. He needs to seem talented and composed, so he tries to act like he is; he needs to feel better about himself, so he tries to show his superiority to others. He fails at both and becomes crueler and meaner in the process. He believes that he is a good person, and he can justify even the worst of his behavior to himself because he believes he deserves to act out some, when the world and the system are so set against him. 

Maybe he had a rebellious streak before, but now it begins to develop into a disdain for his elders and for the powers that be — the same powers that allowed him to work at Yotsuba in the first place, but he isn’t willing to think of it that way because he’s the real victim here. It’s almost enough to tempt him to counterculture — his haircut, after all, is hardly suitable for a businessman — but he doesn’t have enough confidence to fully break away from the corporate world, especially when it’s so tied to his identity now. What else can he do anymore? He has to succeed.

But as he becomes more desperate for success, his attitude worsens. He’s demoted for the very behaviors he had been using to cope with his insecurities, as well as for his poor leadership skills. It burns. 

When Rem offers him the Death Note, his answer is a no-brainer. He’s already pro-Kira, so he thinks he’ll be doing everyone a favor — a big enough favor to justify using Kira’s power for himself on the side. After all, he needs to succeed. He needs status and respect. He needs the men he envies to envy him in turn. He needs to be the man he always thought he’d be by now. For that, he would do anything. Everything else has failed so far, but now he’s unstoppable.

Perhaps if Higuchi had never gotten the Death Note, he would’ve inevitably snapped in some other way, violent or otherwise. Perhaps he would have lived a quiet, mediocre life, unfulfilled and miserable. Perhaps, by some miracle, he would have changed. 

But none of that comes to pass.

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At the end of the day, Higuchi Kyosuke dies like a dog. The greatest legacy he leaves behind is his failure in the face of men much more talented than he could ever hope to be.

#Kyosuke Higuchi #death note #deathnote #yotsuba group

[mukamibabe]

What all the punishments Yandere!Karlheinz will give his wife to break her?

alright, writing karl in full blown yandere mode. therefore, this will be pretty dark, considering the nature of this request.

for this, under the cut it shall go.

tw for dark content. i know it’s vague but like. generally, that’s what it is, i guess? idk trigger warnings in this fandom are difficult because.. i mean. this is diabolik lovers,,

hmm.. this is a bit tricky because karlheinz loves making people think he’s .. innocent. not like, i’m a little baby type of innocent, but rather just.. completely glossing over the fact he’s awful. karlheinz knows this. but, ?? who cares? he doesn’t. so long as his reputation is in tact, it doesn’t matter to him. 

that being said, he won’t sacrifice his reputation for anything. like, take his previous wives for example. sure, they can claim that he did awful things or whatever, but first, why would anyone believe anyone else’s words rather than the vampire king himself? he’s just that powerful, both physically and status wise. 

also, it’s really easy for karl to manipulate time and all that jazz, so.. idk. in short, it’s not likely his new love would be able to actually convince anyone that karl’s not who he comes off as.

which, he could easily argue against because ‘no one is who they masquerade as’, which,,. doesn’t matter. anyways, his new s/o would be lucky to even be allowed to see others at all. 

i don’t even know why karl would want to completely break someone other than just for the hell of it, so.. even if things were to go wrong, he can fix it without an issue. 

all of that being said, i think the one big thing karlheinz would do to break his s/o is just completely isolating them. if they choose to be stubborn and act as if they can live their life in isolation without him, he encourages them to try. karl is ultimately convinced that their small little life is in his hands, now.

a part of me wants to compare the situation to christa’s, but it’s really.. not. karl had a plan regarding her, whereas you.. well, could either be another one of his twisted plans, or literally just for fun. for his own amusement. either way, the more they resist, the worst it gets for them.

all karl wants to hear is just for his new little toy to start acting the way they should. he wants them to accept their situation, and to just let things happen. 

but, until then, it’s complete loneliness. the only person you’ll be seeing is karl, and that’s that. some times he might not even visit them, but he is watching. always. 

a lot of the ‘punishments’ they face are psychological. honestly, all of them might be.

he doesn’t want to physically hurt his s/o, at least not in a way they wouldn’t like. 

the relationship still remains very.. manipulative. karl will try his best to convince them that he’s capable of treating them like a deity, and that they’ll have his entire kingdom right under your fingertips. is that true? ..most likely not. what karl would like to do is just test you a bit, see what truly motivates you.

honestly, you might even turn into his lab if this continues. while he likes to have a bit of fun here and there, and can be a sadist, it just depends if his new lover is truly worth it. karl does not feel as if he’s capable of love, and no matter what he feels regarding them, he still believes it. even if that s/o has captured him in a way no one else has, at some point he’s going to get aggravated if they hold no importance to his end goal.

#karlheinz #karlheinz sakamaki x reader #karlheinz sakamaki #karl heinz #yandere diabolik lovers #Diabolik Lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers x reader #karlheinz x reader #dark diabolik lovers #darkdialovers

[annotatingdays]

Notes from Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning

Frankl is fond of quoting Nietzsche, "He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how”.

In the concentration camp every circumstance conspires to make the prisoner lose his hold. All the familiar goals in life are snatched away. What alone remains is "the last of human freedoms"—the ability to "choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." This ultimate freedom, recognized by the ancient Stoics as well as by modern existentialists, takes on vivid significance in Frankl's story. The prisoners were only average men, but some, at least, by choosing to be "worthy of their suffering" proved man's capacity to rise above his outward fate.

Don't aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run—in the long run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.

In psychiatry there is a certain condition known as "delusion of reprieve." The condemned man, immediately before his execution, gets the illusion that he might be reprieved at the very last minute. We, too, clung to shreds of hope and believed to the last moment that it would not be so bad.

I think it was Lessing who once said, "There are things which must cause you to lose your reason or you have none to lose." An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behaviour.

At such a moment it is not the physical pain which hurts the most (and this applies to adults as much as to punished children); it is the mental agony caused by the injustice, the unreasonableness of it all.

Apathy, the main symptom of the second phase, was a necessary mechanism of self-defence. Reality dimmed, and all efforts and all emotions were cantered on one task: preserving one's own life and that of the other fellow

"Et lux in tenebris lucet"—and the light shineth in the darkness 

Humour was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humour, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds. 

No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.

Death in Teheran -  A rich and mighty Persian once walked in his garden with one of his servants. The servant cried that he had just encountered Death, who had threatened him. He begged his master to give him his fastest horse so that he could make haste and flee to Teheran, which he could reach that same evening. The master consented and the servant galloped off on the horse. On returning to his house the master himself met Death, and questioned him, "Why did you terrify and threaten my servant?" "I did not threaten him; I only showed surprise in still finding him here when I planned to meet him tonight in Teheran," said Death.

Whenever the degraded majority and the promoted minority came into conflict (and there were plenty of opportunities for this, starting with the distribution of food) the results were explosive. Therefore, the general irritability (whose physical causes were discussed above) became most intense when these mental tensions were added

Dostoevsky said once, "There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings”.

If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.

The Latin word finis has two meanings: the end or the finish, and a goal to reach.

It is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future— sub specie aeternitatis.

What does Spinoza say in his Ethics?—"Affectus, qui passio est, desinit esse passio simulatque eius claram et distinctam formamus ideam." Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.

Those who know how close the connection is between the state of mind of a man—his courage and hope, or lack of them—and the state of immunity of his body will understand that the sudden loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect. The ultimate cause of my friend's death was that the expected liberation did not come and he was severely disappointed. This suddenly lowered his body's resistance against the latent typhus infection. His faith in the future and his will to live had become paralyzed and his body fell victim to illness—and thus the voice of his dream was right after all.

It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfil the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.

Whoever was still alive had reason for hope. Health, family, happiness, professional abilities, fortune, position in society—all these were things that could be achieved again or restored. After all, we still had all our bones intact. Whatever we had gone through could still be an asset to us in the future. And I quoted from Nietzsche: "Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich starker." That which does not kill me, makes me stronger.

Again I quoted a poet—to avoid sounding like a preacher myself —who had written, "Was Du erlebst, kann keine Macht der Welt Dir rauben." What you have experienced, no power on earth can take from you.

Logos is a Greek word which denotes "meaning." Logotherapy, or, as it has been called by some authors, "The Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy," focuses on the meaning of human existence as well as on man's search for such a meaning. According to logotherapy, this striving to find a meaning in one's life is the primary motivational force in man. That is why I speak of a will to meaning in contrast to the pleasure principle (or, as we could also term it, the will to pleasure) on which Freudian psychoanalysis is cantered, as well as in contrast to the will to power on which Adlerian psychology, using the term "striving for superiority," is focused.

A public-opinion poll was conducted a few years ago in France. The results showed that 89 percent of the people polled admitted that man needs "something" for the sake of which to live. Moreover, 61 percent conceded that there was something, or someone, in their own lives for whose sake they were even ready to die. I repeated this poll at my hospital department in Vienna among both the patients and the personnel, and the outcome was practically the same as among the thousands of people screened in France; the difference was only 2 percent.

Logotherapy deviates from psychoanalysis insofar as it considers man a being whose main concern consists in fulfilling a meaning, rather than in the mere gratification and satisfaction of drives and instincts, or in merely reconciling the conflicting claims of id, ego and superego, or in the mere adaptation and adjustment to society and environment. 

What man needs is not homeostasis but what I call "nod-dynamics," i.e., the existential dynamics in a polar field of tension where one pole is represented by a meaning that is to be fulfilled and the other pole by the man who has to fulfil it. And one should not think that this holds true only for normal conditions; in neurotic individuals, it is even more valid. If architects want to strengthen a decrepit arch, they increase the load which is laid upon it, for thereby the parts are joined more firmly together. So if therapists wish to foster their patients' mental health, they should not be afraid to create a sound amount of tension through a reorientation toward the meaning of one's life. 

The existential vacuum is a widespread phenomenon of the twentieth century. This is understandable; it may be due to a twofold loss which man has had to undergo since he became a truly human being. No instinct tells him what he has to do, and no tradition tells him what he ought to do; sometimes he does not even know what he wishes to do. Instead, he either wishes to do what other people do (conformism) or he does what other people wish him to do (totalitarianism). 

The existential vacuum manifests itself mainly in a state of boredom. Now we can understand Schopenhauer when he said that mankind was apparently doomed to vacillate eternally between the two extremes of distress and boredom.

Such widespread phenomena as depression, aggression and addiction are not understandable unless we recognize the existential vacuum underlying them. This is also true of the crises of pensioners and aging people.

The Meaning of Life

question posed to a chess champion: "Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?" There simply is no such thing as the best or even a good move apart from a particular situation in a game and the particular personality of one's opponent. The same holds for human existence. One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfilment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

"The self-transcendence of human existence." It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself—be it a meaning to fulfil or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.

we can discover this meaning in life in three different ways:-

(1) by creating a work or doing a deed; 

(2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and 

(3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. 

The first, the way of achievement or accomplishment, is quite obvious. The second and third need further elaboration.

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation— just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer —we are challenged to change ourselves.

But let me make it perfectly clear that in no way is suffering necessary to find meaning. I only insist that meaning is possible even in spite of suffering—provided, certainly, that the suffering is unavoidable. If it were avoidable, however, the meaningful thing to do would be to remove its cause, be it psychological, biological or political. To suffer unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.

Anticipatory anxiety

It is characteristic of this fear that it produces precisely that of which the patient is afraid.

In this context, one might amend the saying "The wish is father to the thought" to "The fear is mother of the event." 

Logotherapy bases its technique called "paradoxical intention" on the twofold fact that fear brings about that which one is afraid of, and that hyper-intention makes impossible what one wishes.

there is a danger inherent in the teaching of man's "nothing butness," the theory that man is nothing but the result of biological, psychological and sociological conditions, or the product of heredity and environment. Such a view of man makes a neurotic believe what he is prone to believe anyway, namely, that he is the pawn and victim of outer influences or inner circumstances. This neurotic fatalism is fostered and strengthened by a psychotherapy which denies that man is free. To be sure, a human being is a finite thing, and his freedom is restricted. It is not freedom from conditions, but it is freedom to take a stand toward the conditions. As I once put it: "As a professor in two fields, neurology and psychiatry, I am fully aware of the extent to which man is subject to biological, psychological and sociological conditions. But in addition to being a professor in two fields I am a survivor of four camps—concentration camps, that is— and as such I also bear witness to the unexpected extent to which man is capable of defying and braving even the worst conditions conceivable."

Man is ultimately self-determining. Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment. 

Let me cite the case of Dr. J. He was the only man I ever encountered in my whole life whom I would dare to call a Mephistophelean being, a satanic figure. At that time he was generally called "the mass murderer of Steinhof" (the large mental hospital in Vienna). When the Nazis started their euthanasia program, he held all the strings in his hands and was so fanatic in the job assigned to him that he tried not to let one single psychotic individual escape the gas chamber. After the war, when I came back to Vienna, I asked what had happened to Dr. J. "He had been imprisoned by the Russians in one of the isolation cells of Steinhof," they told me. "The next day, however, the door of his cell stood open and Dr. J. was never seen again."

This is the story of Dr. J., "the mass murderer of Steinhof." How can we dare to predict the behaviour of man? We may predict the movements of a machine, of an automaton; more than this, we may even try to predict the mechanisms or "dynamisms" of the human psyche as well. But man is more than psyche.

A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining.

Our generation is realistic, for we have come to know man as he really is. After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips.

Tragic optimism

one is, and remains, optimistic in spite of the "tragic triad," as it is called in logotherapy, a triad which consists of those aspects of human existence which may be circumscribed by: (1) pain; (2) guilt; and (3) death.

In other words, what matters is to make the best of any given situation. "The best," however, is that which in Latin is called optimum—hence the reason I speak of a tragic optimism, that is, an optimism in the face of tragedy and in view of the human potential which at its best always allows for: (1) turning suffering into a human achievement and accomplishment; (2) deriving from guilt the opportunity to change oneself for the better; and (3) deriving from life's transitoriness an incentive to take responsible action. 

But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to "be happy." Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation.

Unemployment neurosis

And I could show that this neurosis really originated in a twofold erroneous identification: being jobless was equated with being useless, and being useless was equated with having a meaningless life. Consequently, whenever I succeeded in persuading the patients to volunteer in youth organizations, adult education, public libraries and the like—in other words, as soon as they could fill their abundant free time with some sort of unpaid but meaningful activity—their depression disappeared although their economic situation had not changed and their hunger was the same. The truth is that man does not live by welfare alone.

Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake

#search for meaning #victor frankl #man #philosophy #psychotherapy

[ganymedesclock]

I know Zelda lore is generally complicated and all, but if you know of the manga (it is a prequel to Skyward Sword and considered a origin story of sorts) what are your thoughts on Hylia and Demise? and the chosen hero aka The First Link?

Some would interpret it as more of a origin story of hylian legend, so like something that is more biased and very different than the true historical happenings of an ancient era, so shrouded in legends very much.

IMO Zelda lore is also immensely take-it-or-leave-it. I've always been a bit lukewarm on The Great Zelda Timeline, since I feel like it's more logistical to think of the games as effectively self-contained AUs of each other with a few threads of continuity that can give context.

I'll also say that I know little of the various manga adaptations, but the skyward sword manga in particular doesn't really appeal to me; I know enough of it to not particularly want to know more. I’m not a fan of its version of Hylia being almost exactly like Zelda, especially when canonical details in Skyward Sword imply Hylia was not really humanlike at all- the “feathers” from her wings look more like chunks of crystal shrapnel.

I've got my own headcanons / reads into that gap, which are- much like canon- completely take-it-or-leave it, but I think they’re fun. I will put those down under a cut, here, because they get long.

So my major read on the events predating Skyward Sword, and thus predating "everything" in the Zelda mythos, is that the golden gods are effectively the big bang. Nothing 'as we know it' exists before them, everything 'as we know it' exists after them. For a while, they overlap with their creations; this is where their names and predilections become known to a degree. Thus, there's a kind of dynasty of gods- the first dynasty being Din/Nayru/Farore.

This ultimately ends in the creation of the triforce- the point where the gods exited the world. Eldritch artifact, basically a hole in reality that leaks infinite primal potential. Simultaneous evidence that "the throne" is empty, and the tools of creation used to shape the world.

A take I have at this point is that both Hylia and Demise are worshiped like gods, but they're basically powerful natural spirits. But they're kind of major contenders, and begin fighting each other over the Triforce. Hylia has her supporters and creations, Demise has his, and they’re both, IMO, flawed.

Hylia is calculating. This is basically textual in Skyward Sword- she appears to value leaving as little as possible up to chance (hence Fi as a guide to Link, who seems to have been trained to disregard her own emotions as much as possible) and by the works she leaves behind alone, she verges on pretty heartless- the entire Lanayru Mine society consists of sapient robots who are clearly people, and cherished by the Thunder Dragon and vice versa, and, um... are obviously dying and collapsing into an inevitable disrepair they are, a certain degree aware of. Skipper does not even leave his duty to try and go home using the borrowed time the Timeshift stones give him so that he can be with his family when that borrowed time runs out... and it does, because we never see those guys in any “future” game.

Basically, Hylia values order, but not autonomy. If she has her way, it will never even occur to you to contradict her or speak against her. She cares, but her model of caring is irreconcilable with human free will or determination. She’s seen as the benefactor of the hylians, who took their names in her honor, but Skyloft from what we see of it is a little less like a sanctuary and a little more like the Human Zoo from Steven Universe- especially down to that it was used to cultivate Link and Zelda. The Loftwings are even ostensibly divine forces that specifically observe and manage each denizen.

Fi is arranged to self-terminate so she won’t contaminate anything other than her objective. Zelda is given the ability to realize Hylia’s goals at a key point such that if she has an attack of self-loathing on recognizing Hylia’s memories, this, too, serves her larger game plan- it in fact works better if Zelda doesn’t want to be Zelda right then, because she’s just gotten Hylia’s memories uploaded into her real hard. (We’ll get back to Zelda)

Meanwhile, Demise enjoys freedom, but not in a way that really seems to respect people. Ghirahim, compared to Fi, is wildly unfettered; left to his own devices, to pursue his own interests and opinions. He’s free. And Demise crushes him.

Likewise, when talking to Link, Demise is polite, even charmingly sporting. Unlike any other Zelda boss before or since, he textually in-universe suggests that you should prepare as best as you can and take as much time as you need, while agreeing to wait in one specific location. In polar contrast to Hylia, he clearly does not have a grand divine plan. He intends to strip Link down by force exactly the way he did Ghirahim, but he won’t enjoy it if he doesn’t give Link the chance to waste all of Ghirahim’s hard work stalling and forcing Link to a standstill. Demise wants Link to be as gorged up with freedom and power as possible... so that he can be the greater force and shatter it.

This factors in to their metatextual successors, Zelda and Ganondorf. Zelda is anticipated, cultivated, and extremely controlled. Even at the extreme endpoint of the timeline as we’re aware of it, Zelda is invoking Hylia for power. This, logically, shouldn’t be the case- Hylia is completely terminated. Anything that Hylia had, is now Zelda’s, via birthright and the ritual that awakened Skyward Sword Zelda, the very first one. Zelda’s a divine-blooded demigod; she ‘honestly’ comes by all the power she must need.

But Hylia never really meant Zelda to be a worthy successor; simply a Favored Heir, who, for her favoritism, has the best prize Hylia gives all of her most important servants: the prize of being completely preordained. Known. Controlled. Nayru seems to be the “natural” god of time given Oracle of Ages; but Hylia seems to position herself as a conqueror of time. She viewed Zelda as an extension of herself; simply a continuation who would behave in certain, useful ways- human ways, sentimental ways, that are inaccessible to Hylia herself, to love Link and be loved by him- and then when the time is right she wakes up and knows all of her instructions and will act perfectly, because you were Hylia all along.

Conversely Ganondorf pretty obviously hates the gods period, no exception, no “your god’s worse than my god”. He wants things to be his and his alone. He’s not even a favored son to Demise’s curse, if we are supposed to believe- as seems to be the implication- that said curse is responsible for every Zelda antagonist that is a blight to Hyrule; there are plenty that have zero connection to Ganondorf, and it suggests Demise’s Incarnation is a concept that abandons Ganondorf, regularly even. If there’s anything Ganondorf has from Demise, it’s things like the title of demon king, that seems to be Ganondorf’s own efforts that pull him over the gap.

The one time Ganondorf succeeds by the obvious assistance of a higher power, it is when the Triforce of Power intervenes on his behalf in Twilight Princess, and in the same game, we see Ganondorf desecrate and behead the statues of the Triforce Goddesses in Hyrule Castle’s throne room.

So- getting back to Skyward Sword and the god war.

Hylia claims she was entrusted directly with the triforce. We hear this claim through the story told by her subordinates. It seems to line up with that Ghirahim- the chattiest member of Demise’s forces by virtue of being last man standing for most of the game- makes it clear Hylia’s incarnation is his biggest problem to resurrecting Demise.

But, there’s a couple of threads to spot in this narrative, and those are the things that make me think Link’s position is complicated, both regarding the triforce and otherwise.

Hylia cannot use the triforce. This is explicit. If it was truly given to her for keeping, she’s at bare minimum using bad faith workarounds of instructions she was given or parameters set on her. We don’t have Impa as an entity informed of the war who understands and agrees with Hylia make the wish on her behalf; instead a hero is cultivated. Link is a trap for the triforce.

And Link is obviously cultivated. He’s marked from birth by the Red Loftwing. Zelda’s speech when Link finally catches up to her and she gains Hylia’s memories have her outright say that Hylia used Link. That Zelda’s existence is a trap for Link.

Now... to me, I feel like this has fascinating context for the fact that Link and Zelda have this omnipresent yet often stilted relationship. Almost every game ends with the implication Link and Zelda are together now, a couple now; games that give him over love interests tend to come with this obvious subtext of “but you’ll leave her to be with Zelda, right? Or if you won’t be with Zelda, you won’t be with anyone,” and even in isolation, in Majora’s Mask, the Song of Time taught by Zelda and the Ocarina of Time given by her are the most essential thing in-game to proceed.

But also, there’s a bunch of times Link either optionally or explicitly tried to be in a relationship with someone else? In Skyward Sword you can flirt with Peatrice and while the game clearly insinuates this is a fake, ‘mean’ relationship unlike Link’s devotion to Zelda, it never out and says it. Link could be totally serious. He definitely was serious in Breath of the Wild, where Mipha’s working on their engagement rings, which no unserious couple would be talking about, and the wedding’s only called off on account of the bride’s abrupt death... which her kin even take out poorly on Link.

I don’t mean this as an anti-zelink screed, but I think it’s interesting to me- and really morbid- that Link and Zelda are implied in Skyward Sword to be cosmically ordained star-crossed soulmates. Link is destined to be Zelda’s symbolic groom, but also, their happiness and union are actually optional. The real thing that’s mandated, that Hylia counted on, was Link loving Zelda and despairing at losing her. Link, running after Zelda into certain danger. Link, loving Zelda, and Zelda being loved by Link, as a trap.

This is the main way I diverge from the manga’s take of Hylia and the zeroth hero as lovers- because I feel like the fact that Hylia, who herself does not seem to value emotion directly (less than Demise, who deliberately wants to get an emotional response out of you) is so concerned that Link must love Zelda, that he must know and chase Zelda, that Hylia’s will has to be distant to him...

Implies Hylia was perhaps scared of Link. Which is silly; she’s a goddess and he was not even really destined yet. She was scared of a hypothetical person she was molding into a template, or if ‘scared’ isn’t the right term, she was concerned that something might. go wrong. with Link, if she started selecting people for these qualities.

As if, perhaps, from the original person Hylia was seeking to cultivate again, there were actually qualities about the zeroth hero that Hylia didn’t like very much. That the zeroth hero may have been strong, and brave, and deserving of the title of hero... but did not love Hylia, and was not devoted to her.

The zeroth hero also seems vanished from Skyloft’s history. Only Hylia is stated to have saved them.

But things come in threes in this franchise, even if one of the three is disgraced or hidden. 

If Zelda is Hylia’s favored heir, whether or not she wants this and often explicitly not wanting this, and Ganondorf is Demise’s (figurative) discarded bastard whose frustration and ambition allow the parent to parasite off of him from beyond an absolute grave...

What is Link?

Let’s talk about Majora’s Mask.

A friend of mine exposed me to the notion that Majora’s Mask is kind of a dying-dream game; that it takes place overwhelmingly within Link’s mind. Actually looking at the imagery and word choice used by this game, and how many characters inexplicably repeat (Cremia and Romani’s unnatural resemblance to Malon; Koume and Kotake as benevolent NPCs who seem to never acknowledge their previous run-in with Link; Ganondorf’s face leering down from the moon), this would seem to make sense.

Especially the Happy Mask Salesman, who as textually as the game can get, is functionally a psychopomp and definitely has some kind of agenda that makes him very pushy towards Link, but in a way that feels distinct from any other character nudging you into a quest.

Majora’s Mask seems to be illuminating the death of the Hero of Time, not the first Link but the ‘ur’-Link that out-of-universe came to define modern Link. There are two major, powerful figures in this game, one that’s omnipresent and the other that is much more enigmatic and missable.

The first is Majora. We are introduced to Majora only through its death mask. Implicitly, like Darmani and Mikau and the Deku Butler’s Son, Majora is dead. Majora is also immensely powerful, and was used by others to curse their enemies.

Unable to rest or be at peace, Majora has tumbled through time. Its current host is Skull Kid, an innocent child from the woods who was driven by loneliness. Skull Kid has fairy companions, and also, feels that he was abandoned by his friends, because they departed to the corners of the world to become divine pillars protecting from harm. They are only reunited in event of catastrophe.

All of these things are traits of Ocarina of Time Link, actually. He was also, originally, a child from the woods; we can figure he was almost definitely lonely when everyone in his society had a fairy except him, when he was actually a hylian among kokiri and lacked words to articulate why he felt unlike others; Saria was kind to him but most others are at best indifferent and at worst, Mido. Much is made in OoT that he cannot be with Saria and this becomes true no matter where he goes; he can’t be with Ruto, or Darunia, or Impa, or Nabooru, or Rauru. Just about anyone who’s notably kind to him perishes or ascends to become a sage. He is not like them.

And Link is told that there is this specialness, this thing that is beyond him and older than him, but it becomes core to his identity until after a while it’s the only thing anyone sees: the role of the Hero.

“But Clockie,” you might say, “the hero is a good thing, and Majora was used to curse others!”

To which I say: in Wind Waker, The Soul of The Hero is explicitly and repeatedly tied to the wind. His legend survives ‘on the wind’s breath’. Link is given a powerful royal artifact, that the king of Hyrule used to command the wind.

And at the very end of Wind Waker, Ganondorf talks about the wind. He lays it out as plainly as possible that part of what he coveted in Hyrule was that the wind favored it. The winds over Hyrule bring it peace and prosperity. That same wind, over Ganondorf’s world, brings death and destruction. This is... never argued with. In fact, at the very end of Wind Waker, as Ganondorf lays dying at the hands of the hero yet again, he cracks a bitter smirk and says that the wind is blowing.

To the civilization that profited from Majora’s Mask, it probably seemed like a blessing until it became impossible to contain. While we never hear about the hero going rogue or turning on the people around him, it is notable that Wind Waker’s incarnation of the hero’s myth in particular features people cursing the hero’s absence. Just like with Majora, the prosperity given by the Hero fails.

It’s also notable that as a villain, Skull Kid seems to do an awful lot of sidequests, doesn’t he? He messes with others’ trivial affairs quite a bit.

So, I think that Majora, in Majora’s Mask, is almost a form of Dark Link- he embodies things Link fears about himself and the hero’s role.

And then there’s the other entity- the Fierce Deity.

The Fierce Deity, unlike Majora, is completely erased from history. We do not know who or what they are.

We know that they are dead, because they’re a mask.

We know Link only gains access to them if he faces the questions of the moon children- questions that seem to be interrogating both Link’s feelings, and the nature of the Hero, but one in particular involves asking Link if that’s really his face.

The Fierce Deity is otherwise never seen in Hyrule’s pantheon. Their fallen regalia surfaces on rare occasions.

They are stated to have overwhelming dark power, and seem only willing to manifest through the mask to fight a great enemy. And unlike any other spirit Link connects with in Majora’s Mask, they never speak.

The mask has an uncanny resemblance to Link.

I think that Majora’s Mask is a point where Link is accessing his precursor.

I think that in the original god war, there was a third contender.

Hylia, Demise, and Majora.

Majora, the Fierce Deity, presenting as neither a goddess nor a demon king, an entity that aligned themselves with mortals and brought prosperity and security to them. A creature of dark power, who nonetheless became known as a Hero.

At some point during the war, Majora aligned themselves with Hylia. They may have had their own designs on the triforce. They may have seen her as the lesser of two evils. After all, compared to Demise, Hylia just wants to control people; she doesn’t want to crush them.

But the key distinction here is, Majora did not love Hylia. If they may have, they did not let this stop them from seeing her as almost as much of a problem as Demise. They would bring her prosperity, but only up to a point. Then, they would part ways.

Majora faces Demise. Demise is pleased to have an opponent, and facilitates Majora, perhaps far more than he should have.

Demise crushes Majora, but not without sustaining serious injuries.

Majora dies; mortals and smaller spirits grieve the loss of their hero. A death mask may or may not be forged in their likeness.

The stalemate is broken; a weakened Demise is no match for Hylia. She embeds him in the sealed grounds, and becomes the decisive victor and remaining survivor. The die is cast; from this point onward, the existence of Hyrule as the dominant land and the worship of the golden gods becoming synonymous with the worship of Hylia has its foundations here.

But Demise isn’t gone; he’s a god. He’s a little hard to kill, if he wants to stick around. And Majora does not want to stick around; and forcing them to will almost certainly exacerbate their connection.

If only, Hylia thinks, there was a useful way to contain all that was important about Majora- their valor and great strength- in a form that was more pliant. She has worshippers. She has the mortal entities that Majora once cared for.

That’s right. Majora cares about mortals, don’t they? They fought to save and protect others. A Majora who doesn’t remember that they lived wild and disobedient, a Majora whose uncanny power of twilight is tempered and weakened, a Majora who grew up among Hylia’s chosen people so as to carefully control who he gets attached to, and to ensure among those attachments, there is a friend- a dear friend, a beloved friend- who he will fight to stay close to, no matter what.

Who is not the entity that they once distrusted, but who will, predictably and perfectly, act as a continuation of that entity’s will, and because her love is real, she will be so, so sorry about it, and hurting so much, that it’s impossible he would ever betray her.

How many times is Link in essence, told to wake up, often by a manifestation of Zelda?

#Legend of Zelda #readmore #tl;dr hot take #Zelda is the demigod Incarnation of a lovecraftian deep one #who did not understand that in creating Zelda she was creating an entity separate from herself #and thus arranged everything to expect Zelda to continue to carry on Hylia's Perfect Work forever #Ganondorf is the bearer of Demise's curse that he was not born into but caught like a parasite and it chews on him #and because he is That Motherfucker; Bespoke And Inimitable #Ganondorf has made an entire career out of stealing Demise's shit in response without even fully being able to know who and what Demise was #because Demise is dead #LINK THOUGH. Link is possessed #Link is a Nice Young Lad who is super turbo possessed by a half-conscious entity #who was betrayed and trapped to be here #and it's super fucking pissed but there's not enough of it there to fully assert most of the time #this nice reasonable young man has a well in his soul that goes straight to the core of the earth and the screams of the damned wrathful god #echo all the way up

[dsmp-analysis-showdown]

Analysis 2

This analysis is participating in the Analysis Showdown, click here to rate it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

c!Wilbur and c!Tommy’s confrontation in “Boundless Sands”

C!Wilbur and C!Tommy’s confrontation in “Boundless Sands” highlights how Wilbur was never confronted about his inner motivations, even at his death, and then changes that pattern.

The reason Wilbur was able to get so far during the Manberg/Pogtopia era was because nobody knew how to approach him. Tommy reacted to Wilbur during this time period with confusion and fear, but ultimately he could not do anything more than sometimes walk away from the situation [1]. This was not a shortcoming on his part, as Wilbur had power over him as a mentor figure, and in the past this level of dangerous behavior had not been shown from him. However, it was ultimately ineffective. The one instance where Tommy somewhat managed to prevent disaster was with Quackity in the button room after the festival, but this still seemed to have no effect on Wilbur’s goals, and was simply a setback for him [2]. Maybe Tommy would have been able to prevent Wilbur’s third death initially, but it’s unlikely. 

At the end, Philza was also caught unaware, and his inability to react properly was part of what let Wilbur succeed [3a]. I believe Philza failed due to putting emphasis on how illogical Wilbur’s actions were, which Wilbur was too far gone to care about. There was no way Philza could have figured this out, but during Tommy and Wilbur’s confrontation it is shown that the most vulnerable spot for Wilbur is the flaws in how he treats other people.

After he is revived, Wilbur’s dynamic with Tommy continues being one where he primarily gives orders, and Tommy shuts down after an initial pushback [4]. I believe C!Wilbur’s extended isolation in Limbo made it so he was not able to fully reckon with the consequences of his actions. After his role in Ranboo’s death, we do see Wilbur having more self-awareness and wanting to change [5]. But at the end of this, we see his final step in “remedying” things is to leave [6a]. 

Tommy doesn’t succeed in stopping Wilbur, but I think he achieves one important thing here, and that’s finally holding his ground and confronting Wilbur about his true nature.  During Wilbur’s third death, he only was honest when he chose to or when he was (almost literally) backed into a corner [3b]. Here, even though he does not have to, we can see him first cave slightly when Tommy makes the statement that he “deserves to know” [6b]. 

This line of interactions continues until the breaking point, where Tommy finally addresses the matter of things. Going against the behavior he exhibited in Pogtopia, he bluntly acknowledges that he is someone who has always been by Wilbur’s side with far too little questioning, and that he deserves something in return [6c]. He is not trying to engage in an argument about the general worth of Wilbur’s motives like Philza did [3], but simply holding Wilbur accountable as a person, and that makes all the difference.

The point of this analysis is not at all to be harsh on Wilbur, but to draw attention to how he ended up as the persistently shady character he is due to his lack of honest relationships. I cannot think of an instance when Wilbur has been confronted like this before, and we can sense hesitance in the way he replies, this is new ground.

Wilbur continues to try and dodge the questioning, and Tommy pulls out a sword [6d]. Here we get some very clear fear from Wilbur, and I think it’s important to remember what is probably his biggest memory related to swords [3c]. Tommy has made a breakthrough, he has scared the person who has caused him anguish. I believe that Tommy and Wilbur care deeply for each other, but their relationship is also one with a lot of pain in it, and it was necessary for this pain to be brought to the surface at some point.

The rest of this discussion is the closure, after a touch more bargaining Wilbur comes clean. It is messy, and it is very much a source of controversy in itself, and he still leaves at the end. But the important part is that this conversation showed a weakness that was previously less open in Wilbur. For once, he does not get to excuse himself as a villain or a mastermind, and he faces one of the people closest to him like a human.

sources:

1: https://youtu.be/09ercVF8HgI  (1:11:18)

2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xb8FXKTLwPc (29:31)

3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq4gphJDUpc&t=4291s (a: 1:15:39 b: 1:14:30 c: 1:16:54)

4: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36682660 (first text chunk)

5: https://youtu.be/8r9GahaP6r8 (7:50)

6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkKLA19QC8s (a: 12:55 b: 13:45 c: 15:15 d: 16:35)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rate this analysis!

#round 1 #contest submissions #c!tommy #c!wilbur #c!wilbur crit

[vennevis]

@nyxokal OH BOY ALL THREE Buckle in, this is probably gonna get long (and probably a little messily worded so apologies in advance for that) --

1.what drives them? what’s their ultimate goal? I think for all three of them 'stopping the cult of Orcus' is, pretty much the goal in general? But their reason/motivation for doing so is a bit different. Arolas: Ensuring that what happened to him doesn't happen to anyone else Halcyon: Stopping the cult from hurting anyone else, and after that? She mostly just wants to go home. Sigurd: For him - I guess it's more of a case of repentance, in a way. He's done… a lot of harm in the past. Don't think he'll truly be able to relax until he's done "enough" to make up for it. also maybe a smidge of revenge, dw about it 2. what was your original concept for this character? how did playing them change that concept? Arolas: Oh boy - Arolas is kind of like, a progression of an OC I've had for over a decade now. A couple of things have remained pretty consistent with him. Largely: Anxiety, scars, being far less intimidating than he initally seems from appearance. With how he is now, the general idea I was running with was like -- for lack of a better way of wording this a "lone wolf" character but -- played more like an actual wolf in that they're social animals. Don't do so well if they're alone for too long. Halcyon: ngl i kinda just wanted to make a gunslinger (and also some other plot ideas arguably got out of hand) Sigurd: The initial concept for Sigurd was basically just: what if pretty much everything went wrong for the guy? Can't elaborate too much there, unfortunately. Spoilers :3c 6. how have they changed in the last year? how about the last five years? I am going to assume in-universe for this because with the exception of Arolas, I've not had any of these guys around for quite that long. Arolas: Stagnated a little over the past five years but the past year? He's actually letting himself get close/attached to people now instead of near constantly isolating himself from other people. His self-confidence has improved a lot too. He still struggles, sure, but he's stopped hiding his face behind a mask all the time at least. Halcyon: A lot of the change is down to her age, I suppose, since 5 years ago she'd have been about thirteen. She's a lot less timid than she was when she was younger, or she tries to be anyway. Also she has a gun now. The past year has been… rough, but she's getting there. Sigurd: Well he's no longer a warlock, for one. Also a lil bit just his 'fake it til you make it' confidence has becoming something he's far less willing to force. He's had a real drastic change in cirumstances and it's honestly done a lot of favours for him. He's a lot more rilling to just, be himself and be honest about things. Again mostly just stuff that's happened in the last year or so with him. 15. is there something that never fails to make them laugh? Arolas: His boyfriend's stupid goddamn jokes/puns. Halcyon: Don't know if there's anything that's guaranteed to make her laugh, but despite what she says, she does have a bit of a soft spot for really stupid jokes. Sigurd: Lighthearted pranks, mostly. 17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry? Arolas: Oh that, depends, really. Often it'll be because he's anxious and/or triggered one way or another. Assuming he's allowing himself to get upset ayways. Halcyon: Not exactly hard to do, she's a little bit of a crybaby :') Usually it'll be because she got overwhelmed, one way or another. Sigurd: Someone or something probably pissed him off. He's got a bit of a tendency to bottle up his emotions but that kinda falls apart when he's sufficiently annoyed. 19. what sparks genuine, unadulterated rage in them? Arolas: Hurting the people he cares about, more or less. Halcyon: I feel like she's probably kinda difficut to genuinely anger like that but-- messing around with undead is an easy way to get there. Sigurd: Anyone using/exploiting other people certainly get him close to rage. Almost guaranteed to flip his shit if someone's hurting kids though, doubly so if they're hurting their own kids.

#I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #and for it being a damn text post but tumblr will not behave today apparently #oc stuff #Arolas #Halcyon #Sigurd #this is gonna have to be in two parts

[s-el-fships]

1, 2, and 4 for whichever s/i you feel like, I can’t find your list at the moment!

i'll respond for my genshin s/i, since i'm working on something with her right now!

you can find my list of f/os here by the way! i haven't made a page for my s/is yet but i may do that!

What is your s/i's name & pronouns?

el imunlaukr! she/her or they/them.

2. How similar is your s/i to you? Are they a carbon copy, completely different or a mix of the two?

not quite a carbon copy, but her life story is fairly similar to mine. i even chose imunlaukr for rather personal reasons-- i'm not sure if when we get the lore for the imulaukr clan that that parallel will remain, but it means something to me and that's what's important i think!

of course her story diverges from my own life at some point, but her childhood/teenage years/some early adulthood all have direct parallels to my experiences.

i'm not sure i'm supposed to infodump about her story here, but a couple of quick facts for you!

she's from mondstadt of course!

however her vision was gained while she was studying in inazuma (i'm considering changing this one, but i think it's a difference from my own life that i'd not mind changing lmao)

she's a cryo sword user!

she learned to fight in a liyue style.

catgirl. nya

i didn't mean to do a lot with her outside of just. yay self-shipping! but now i've got a whole story going in my brain lmao. so i might write it out!

4. How did your s/i feel when they first met your f/o(s)? How do they feel about them now?

❄️ eula: at first she wasn't entirely sure what to think of eula. there was a general disdain when they first met, as of course el knew the stories of the lawrence clan (and eula likely took el's introduction as an imunlaukr as a bit of a rude gesture), but after a few run-ins they got to talking more and getting to know one another better. namely, eula tended to show up at good hunter around the same time as el, so they'd chat in line and eventually started eating lunch together. she really treasured that time since she didn't really have many friends either... but over time those feelings blossomed into something other than friendship. they frequently write to one another and send small gifts in the mail. eula doesn't usually go far from mondstadt, so el makes it her goal to find strange and fun souvenirs that suit her wherever she winds up. whenever they're together el can always count on a delicious dinner, and eula can look forward to a listening ear and a warm catgirl to cuddle!

🧪 dottore: enemies to lovers speedrun (actually writing an au for this now!). el didn't trust him (the proper response, probably), but he had become rather fascinated with her for one reason or another-- a chance run-in with one of his segments, most likely. oddly enough, both of them were rather upset with how the other made them feel-- for el, because she was upset about being attracted to... y'know, (gestures to the whole man). he of course was annoyed that she was making him feel something he couldn't quite identify. and so he set on a quest to find the answer, as he usually does. at this time, he's definitely not reformed and still largely acts in his own self-interest, but el at least acts as something of a morality chain. he doesn't want her to cry, so better not do anything too awful. on the other hand, el has become a bit more relaxed with her own ideals, though this wouldn't be a full on corruption arc lmao. ultimately, he cares about her in his own way, even if it took him a while to understand it and for her to accept it. she can't help but feel the same way.

🔥enjou: i haven't thought as much about this one since i have an oc/canon ship with him. this one's mostly just "i am attracted to this man and would like to kiss him"! sorry! i can talk about the oc/canon ship a bit, though. my oc was in the abyss order with him, but after some time she began to start questioning their mission, and after a time made a break with the organization. they remained friends, and had a bit of a saucy friends with benefits situation. for fun. spicy. following the enkanomiya storyline he sets up a base in the library there and things become official between them. she likes having a quiet place to rest and he just likes having her around. neither of them try to convince the other of their causes, it's just... a sense of caring and a bond between them. there's a third option somewhere they're looking for.

🔶zhongli: while el was in liyue harbor for the first time, she caught a glance of the unfairly handsome consultant for wangsheng funeral parlor in the market, where she witnessed the extremely relatable moment of him realizing he didn't have enough money to pay for the things he'd wanted to purchase. while she didn't have enough either, she did offer to buy a couple of things off his list, and so of course he wanted to repay her that money (that he didn't have). she thought it was kinda weird that he was so concerned with paying her back, but given liyue is the land of contracts she assumed he was just particularly devoted to the nation's way of life. i can't decide if she knows his secret or not, though i'm leaning towards whichever is funnier honestly.

#replies #echoes-lighthouse #echoeslighthouse #thank you for the ask! #el writes a post it note

[antianakin]

I think part of the reason I have a hard time considering any of the characters in Star Wars "antiheroes" is because I think the real message of Star Wars sort-of goes against the entire CONCEPT of an "antihero." An antihero is generally defined as someone who does "the wrong thing for the right reasons." Or, in other words, someone with heroic and noble intentions but who perhaps uses less noble and heroic methods in order to achieve that ultimate end goal. And while there are absolutely characters in Star Wars who fit that description, the message of the story tells us that there isn't really any such thing as doing "the wrong thing for the right reasons." If you're doing the wrong thing, there is no right reason. There are ONLY wrong reasons for doing the wrong thing.

For example, you could argue that Anakin is an "antihero" because he commits a genocide and throws a galaxy into tyranny and fascism, but he does it to "save Padme from dying." Saving Padme sounds like such a good, heroic goal, even if his methods are obviously horrific and evil. But the message of that whole story is that Anakin isn't really doing this to save Padme. He's doing it to keep himself from having to live with the pain of losing her. He's doing it because he can't accept change. He's doing it because his own fear of that pain is more important to him than anything else, including the lives of innocent children or the wellbeing of an entire galaxy. He's not an antihero according to Star Wars's own messaging, he's just a villain. The moment he decides to murder a bunch of innocent people for his own selfish desires, he chooses to become a villain. There's no middle ground where his slightly sympathetic reasoning puts him into the "antihero" category. He's JUST a villain. Immediately and completely. None of his reasons are right, they're just selfish.

There is no "heroic intention" that outweighs the less than heroic means in Star Wars. There just isn't, because the heroic intention doesn't actually exist. So while many of the characters fall under the traditional definition of an antihero, the actual message of the story (at least if it's written by Lucas or someone who actually cares about his story) doesn't support the idea of an antihero at all.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #antihero #this counts for all of anakin's foils/parallels too #dooku isn't an antihero #reva isn't an antihero #i love my girl but she's not #she's a villain until she chooses not to be anymore #just because her reasoning is sympathetic doesn't make it selfless or right or heroic #her reasons for what she's doing are entirely selfish #they aren't actually going to help anybody #and in actuality she's hurting the very people she claims she's getting vengeance/justice FOR #not to mention hurting HERSELF #that's the entire point #her intentions aren't heroic they're just selfish #and only by recognizing that can she stop being a villain

[sage-nebula]

Probably going to lose followers, but I don't care, I need to get this off my chest, and the best way to do that is with a meme, so here it is. This is mostly about him showing up in PokéMas where he doesn't belong (and the TRio don't belong there either, and neither does any other character from the anime or any of the various manga), but is also my general feelings about him as a protagonist. He should have left after DP at the absolute latest, and his character has really suffered for it. But while that's unfortunate for him, it's also unfortunate for those of us in the audience who wish that we could have an interesting protagonist, so I'm more annoyed by him now than I feel sorry for him.

Copy-pasting a comment I left on Reddit after someone asked me what I meant when I said that staying on as a protagonist for too long ruined his character under the cut:

Although Ash has always wanted accolades and trophies, the point of his character (originally) was not to be a super strong trainer who always won battles all the time, but rather to be a protagonist that approached the world of pokémon with the same love and wonder that the audience most likely did. So the fact that Pikachu lost to Snivy or whatever—idgaf about that, that doesn't bother me. I started with the OS, I've seen far worse.

So when I say that Ash's character was ruined because he stuck around too long, what I mean is that while other characters in the show (sans the TRio for the same reason) got to have character arcs where they not only accomplished new things, but also grew as characters, Ash doesn't get to have that because they're not allowed to end his story. OS -> DP was a proper progression; we saw him start out as a cocky brat who made mistakes all the time and threw tantrums and sulking fits, to a seasoned trainer who was still snarky as all hell and had flaws, but had made a lot of progress both in his professional (for lack of a better word) goals and his character as a person.

But the problem is, there was nowhere really for him to go after Sinnoh. Oh sure, they could have him try the Unova League, the Kalos League, etc—but in terms of personal growth he had plateaued, and unfortunately, that makes for a boring as shit protagonist. The "reset" in BW was as much to coincide with the games (because the theme behind the BW games was that they were supposed to be a "back to basics" a la the RGB games) but also because they had to try to find something for Ash to do, some way to allow him growth. Only that wasn't received well at all because of people who hated the fact that he had his skill set back, so then in XYZ they decided to make him an Ace Trainer who had the remainder of any negative traits smoothed away (save for that one teeny tiny arc in Snowbelle when he pouted a bit because he lost a couple battles) and won almost every battle he was ever in. But then people threw fits over the Kalos League, and on top of that XYZ was beaten ratings-wise by slice of life anime like Yo-Kai Watch, so for SM they made him act more childlike (but still without any noticeable character flaws and thus no room for growth), but had him win the League. And now in Journeys they're keeping that, but it's even worse because his strongest pokémon were just HANDED to him (Dragonite, Gengar, Lucario) and, again, he has no real flaws and no room for growth.

From OS -> DP, Ash was a great protagonist. He was such a dynamic and interesting character because he messed up, he made mistakes, he could be a jerk sometimes, but ultimately he had a good heart, was trying his best, and was improving and growing. But the writers were forced to stagnate, and as a result he's not really a character anymore, but instead a vessel for the audience wholesale. And because the audience throws massive shitfits every time he loses or doesn't get the very best of everything (e.g. the Kalos League even though that loss was justified, Lana getting Eevee instead of Ash, Gou getting anything at all ever, etc), he's now had his place in the Masters 8 basically handed to him on a platter, with the assurance he'll make it through to Leon because anything else would cause the fandom to have a conniption. There are literally zero stakes because we already know how this will go down. And while it would be great if they were just trying to write him off as the protagonist so they could tell new, fresh stories with new, fresh protagonists, replacing Ash means replacing Pikachu, and his specific Pikachu is the franchise mascot, so that will never happen. Much like Ash himself, we are stuck.

TL;DR: Ash sticking around too long ruined his character because when a character doesn't have an end to their arc, they just don't have an arc, period. Ash is no longer really a character, and it's REALLY noticeable if you go back and watch the earlier series (namely OS -> DP).

#not tagging this because people who actually like him shouldn't have to see this in his character tag #but I needed it off my chest because I am just. listen I understand he'll never leave the anime #and I understand why that is and I've accepted it even tho it's detrimental to everyone (including him) #but to put him in the gacha made for games blorbos? it's like I can't escape him fml

[2n2n]

What do you dislike about Kou?

Disclaimer to start I do try to write my Thinking Posts with a neutral tone best as I can, and I TRY!!! to read events without a bias, but like, you know, I've got my own tastes and, I can't like everything equally. I hope you can find my feelings very funny. I'll finally lean wholeheartedly into my own petty and shallow personal tastes to drag Kou for you, anon. While we both understand he has an important place in this manga's design and will help take us places we need to go narratively..... ! He is... the vinegar in the recipe for me, the thing I know is essential, but that I do not like to consume or smell.

Ah it's as trivial as a sort of genre dislike. Kou really does fit the archetype of a stereotypical shounen protagonist, both in looks, personality, and character backstory/history. His demeanor of being very stupid, yelling reactively all of the time, pointing his weapon and standing on a pillar to declare something, swearing revenge (quickly and meaninglessly), and making epic promises (also quickly and meaninglessly), and his general life's goal of Become Strong And Prove I Can Do It, is like…. I'd just be reading a standard Jump Shounen if I wanted this character, you know? Yawn, yawn....

….. on top of it all he's just boring in terms of ah, not being extreme in any particular capacity-- he isn't as lonesome or troubled as Hanako, or even Mitsuba, he just has normal friends (extremely tedious to deal with such tertiary castmembers who mean nothing to the narrative at large). His life isn't beset by abuse and obligation like Teru, or Hanako. And maybe we're so full-up on those types anyway, we don't need more, so we do need Kou to balance out the cast.... but by gosh, so little going on. I can't pretend to be invested.... in some high school boy with a modest inferiority complex as a result of his cool epic brother. I guess inferiority complexes from dudes with cooler/stronger brothers in general do not interest me... I like Hanako's ego problem more looool ♥

Basically when he's center-stage I feel like I'm flung into a different manga, and a really rote one, at that. Guy going to swing his sword or stick around and promise to save everyone and talk about wanting to be strong and maybe cry about his dead mom, which is also boringly contrite, and I'm allowed to say that, 'cuz I lost my dad at a young age, and we were extremely close my whole childhood, so when this sort of event is ultimately used as The Sad Thing that happened to someone I get to feel like it's underwhelming. I've been there and I've also been at the 2,490,384,903,843 things using Dead Parent as Sad Event, I'm as Over It as anyone can get.

His lack of perception towards other's situations is also something difficult to respect in practice. He's so effectively manipulated-- even moreso than Nene, really-- which is very funny/fine, but then it's a little hard to care when he opens his mouth to have a 'take' on anything, 'cuz his perspective is almost always going to be the most shallow among what we have. He's sortof our barometer for the lowest possible threshold of observation, our benchmark if you will for "where we're starting with our understanding of any topic", but that makes him frustrating. SOMETIMES!!! He has a salient take, and I'll GIVE HIM THAT, I respect his Picture Perfect observations about kaii being quick to give up. I hope his brain expands. I feel like it's one step forward and another back, he's good for PP, then I'm asleep for all his level 1 feelings during the Sumire/Hakubo arc .......

… it's impossible to even find his relationship to Teru beautiful, to me, because his lack of perception and gullibility applies there in spades-- Kou has had no idea Teru is utterly miserable and slogging painfully at his duty, that Teru's personality front is a fake. He doesn't really know Teru's real self or motivations at all, and Teru doesn't even have to be an expert manipulator to pull that wool over his eyes. Kou is just quick to believe a clean/easy narrative and not look deeper into things by nature (obviously that's going to change ASAP)-- I mean-- that's exactly how and why Natsuhiko can charm him in 2 seconds, too. Comparatively, Nene catches on to Natsuhiko being 'off' really quickly…. When it comes to Tsukasa, I want to clamp Kou's mouth shut before he can even start.... I hope both Hanako and Mitsuba can come to Tsukasa's defense, some day....I think Kou is exactly the sort of person Hanako Doesn't Want to Hear It from, wrt a take on Tsukasa, or his situation with Tsukasa. The pinnacle of a moral high ground guy thinking its right or wrong to do this or that...... your mundane moral compass....

…………..I admittedly also don't understand his expression of emotions towards Mitsuba. Mitsuba is someone with genuine tragedy in his own life-- not only a dead parent (Mitsuba's father is dead), but actual chronic loneliness and isolation, and some sort of personality problem that makes him utterly unlikable and beyond vulnerability. For Kou to shout insults at Mitsuba (even if it's in some sort of tsundere way……..) and be resistant to complimenting him or just being directly kind, I, it feels sort of egregious to me. Nene is nice to Mitsuba and is rewarded by Mitsuba's genuine friendship and concern, he is quite fond of her and wants to help her whenever he can. I find Mitsuba's feelings towards Nene, as his first friend after Tsukasa's reforming, who doesn't question his realness, to be very sweet!! I wish Kou would either fully lean into the nice puppyboy routine like he does with Nene (the SIMP trait is his best quality there), or I don't know, fully lean into being shitty-- being both excessively complimentary and obliging to Nene, and rude and belligerent to Mitsuba, it's the least of all things--it's frustrating. I don't even know why he's so shitty to Mitsuba. I know Mitsuba is shitty, but he has an excuse, he's a socially incapable person who can't change it even if he wants to...... Why does Kou just call him names and grab his face? Don't get me wrong, I love negging, I'm down for Hanako's shitty rudeboy routine of insulting Nene's ankles and calling Tsukasa and Nene dummy, buuuuuut that's also his entire emotionally stunted and arrested personality, which ties into all of his issues with emotional attachment and expression! It ties into his lack of friends during his living life, it ties into almost all the mysteries hating him, it ties into Hanako hating himself! So "I get it" and I'm pleased with Nene and Tsukasa's ability to stick it out and look past it, to see the vulnerability hiding under that. But WHYYYY is Kou shitty to Mitsuba? He's nice to his two goons Yookoo and Tookoo or whatever, he's polite as a general rule towards others, opposite to Hanako he's obliging towards honorifics. Mitsuba has a problem with rudeness, but whaaat does being rude back DO???? Nene's personality pleasantly contrasts Hanako's, she's a girl prone to crying, humble, emotionally raw.... I wouldn't like it if Hanako and Nene were going back and forth with gritted-teeth insults for the other. That just isn't the sort of romance I like ... or understand ..... I don't understand why Kou is willing to die for Mitsuba but isn't just his SIMP or something .... I would rather he be on his knees or something!! HE ISN'T.... OH WELL ......

Basicallyyyy, Kou has a long way to go in every direction, and he feels like he's starting from a negative position ffffar behind everyone else, and I'm typically sortof exhausted by it. Hanako and Nene and Tsukasa and Mitsuba have more unconventional narratives and unconventional worldviews/perceptions, so it's very exciting to watch them tackle a problem, or consider a new angle…. Kou feels like, narratively, he's there to BE the 'basic' guy having the 'basic' take, just for sheet contrast. TO ME!!!! Nobody has to agree, I think I'm legit biased against him.

... BUT SOMEONE HAS TO BE LOL, HE CAN'T BE EVERYONE'S PRECIOUS GOODBOY... !! lol....

Aesthetically he's also the least of everyone here…. the Minamoto clan have an effective design, being the only blondes/redheads with green/blue eyes, and that threads very well with them being electricity users…. it's a good device for making you immediately go, "Oh! This character must be a Minamoto!" the second you see them, even if they're new. BUT…. but…….. that also gives him suuch a Bleach or Naruto sort of aesthetic flavor. This isn't really an aesthetic common in AidaIro's other works either, so I…. don't get the impression even they find it particularly sexy, insomuch as Teru is meant to be visually an ikeman (with all those signifiers and design tropes) and Kou is meant to be visually a shounen hero. Teru however satisfyingly dismantles that 'first impression' by being completely insane, and that 'heel-turn' feeling is exhilarating and feels like it justifies the initial impression's basicness. Whereas Kou has never really surprised me, or done anything to subvert the tropes he's perhaps designed off of.

…. but I think Kou just has a longer way to go! I'm sure he's GOING TO BE MEANT to subvert these tropes as much as Teru subverts his. Really every character's 'first impression' gets spun on its head, Hanako and Tsukasa do that, too. Picture Perfect is an arc we suddenly have Tsukasa hoping Nene can escape, while Hanako is trying to shackle her in a dungeon. I know... it's all going to change....

Kou has a few traits that intrigue me that point to something bubbling under the surface-- like uh-- for some reason what he likes best about Nene is actually the sound of her screaming. . That's a thing he's revealed, and only to Akane. His habit of manhandling Mitsuba, just grabbing him by the jaw, is more in-line with what romantic partners do in this manga, so I appreciate him contributing to the vibes. In the Ghost Hotel AU, Kou even gets in on the hard vore tip, and is biting and shredding Mitsuba's limbs for his meals, and Mitsuba appropriately calls him a psycho in that AU. So that gives me a kind of hope that Kou could join the pantheon of crazy people in this manga with crazy desires towards beloveds. At the moment he's like The One Normal Guy and I'm like, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WHO is reading murderer suicidal sexual harassment toilet ghost manga for a normal shounen hero boy who believes in a strict moral code of good and bad???? I've read dozens of shounens, in all my years, Kou is a dime a dozen, as he presently is. I trust AidaIro and I knoooow they can and will make an interesting story from his bones..... but uhm.... even when it happens... he will be.... so ugly </3 the whole time............ </3..............

#avvy's JSHK

[colonelmade]

By default, Jamie tends not to think much of other people with respect to liking versus disliking. He tends to just default everyone to neutral. If they work well with him, great. If not, oh well, he’ll find a way to make it work.

He’s not a glad-hander and as such he doesn’t really tend to worry about whether or not people actually like him. This is even more apparent when he becomes a Colonel of the Minutemen and takes on the ‘mean one’ / ‘enforcer’ type role in the Minutemen’s leadership. He’s not fussed about being well liked, all he expects is that his place in the chain of command is respected and that people do what they need to do. 

Beyond those two things he’s not worried about people’s impression of him because ultimately he tries to make his actions speak louder than his words. Everything he does is for the good of the Minutemen and the Commonwealth. He has faith IN the Commonwealth and its ability to become a truly better place, and he will do anything for that goal. 

To him, that goal is more important than being well-liked by other people. Granted there are times where he is “nicer” than usual to help keep the peace, but more often than not Jamie has a cold & somewhat distant demeanor with everyone. 

It’s not because he doesn’t care about other people, it’s more that personal relationships aren’t a serious priority of his. He understands that charisma is important, but that’s exactly why more of his work is done behind the scenes than front and center. He leaves the charisma to the General and Preston because that’s something he doesn’t really excel at.

#𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯; 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯* ( study )