styrostuff

[styrostuff]

I just vented to someone close to me. And even if they reacted well... Now i feel like shit and want to erase everything i said from their memory.

that's it, have a good day ( you probably won't but... yeah... anyway)

[styrostuff]

cutting isn’t enough i need a lobotomy

[styrostuff]

promise by laufey bpd anthem

#988blr #styroblr #cvtaddict #baby cvts #tw self destruction #tw s3lf harm #tw s3lf hate #made of styro #bpd #bpd feels #Spotify

[styrostuff]

here’s to many more weeks

okay you know what

1,000 notes and i’m gonna make an active attempt at getting clean and trying to figure out how to learn to enjoy life.

i don’t mean this in an attention seeking way! well kind of. i think i would be a bit more incentivized to recover if i had a couple hundred eyes on me instead of just my friends and family.

i’m tired of being sick. i’ll still use this account to vent but i wanna prove to myself that someday i’ll be more than my addiction and mental illness

i’m at a day right now, which is a very big milestone for me. i hope i can continue to make strides towards somewhere better.

#baby cvts #cvtaddict #tw s3lf hate #tw self destruction #vent #cat scratches #made of styro #bpd fp #bpd thoughts #bpd feels

[styrostuff]

i think there’s something to be appreciated about new self harm representation. i don’t think there’s anything that’s more simultaneously stigmatized or romanticized than self harm, and it’s refreshing seeing stories told about self harmers that don’t revolve around their addictions.

of course mental heath is deeply prevalent in many of these, but the self harm aspect isn’t the primary focus of these characters’ stories and i find that deeply cathartic.

at the end of the day we are people. many of us are deeply troubled but i feel like to a mainstream audience a lot of them tend to forget that self harmers can be ordinary people so it’s nice seeing us represented as individuals beyond our addiction.

#heartstopper #wonder egg priority #988blr #styroblr #baby cvts #tw s3lf harm #tw self destruction #made of styro #cat scratches #tw self harm #tw sh #tw sh related

[styrostuff]

for me i think the scariest part of sh recovery is watching my scars fade and the fact that the evidence of my suffering being gone by the summer is a terrifying thought.

but i know that i have to learn to rewire my brain into seeing my lack of scars as proof of my triumph against sh if i want to recover. i’m just scared that people will take my lack of scars as evidence that nothing’s wrong with me.

#988blr #styroblr #cvtaddict #baby cvts #tw s3lf harm #tw self destruction #tw s3lf hate #vent #cat scratches #made of styro

[styrostuff]

bpd culture is be honest with me. BE HONEST WITH ME BE HONEST WITH ME BE HONEST WITH ME i can take it. just tell me you hate me. and i dont believe anything they say unless it helps me hate myself anyways

-🐍

.

[styrostuff]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[styrostuff]

i think the worst part about having bpd is knowing your fp will never love you as much as you love them

like i told my fp about throwing away my blades and they said they were so proud of me for taking strides to recover but little do they know THEY ARE the reason i’m taking those strides

and unfortunately my brain is wired in this really stupid way where if they were upset at me it would ruin my progress in an instant

#988blr #styroblr #tw s3lf hate #tw self destruction #vent #bpd #bpd fp #bpd feels #bpd thoughts

[styrostuff]

getting emotional because my fp tucks their sleeves in the very weird specific way i do so it must mean they’re thinking about me

#988blr #tw self destruction #bpd #bpd fp #bpd feels

[styrostuff]

recovering and dealing with urges with my blades now out of the picture is so fucking hard. i keep opening my wardrobe where they were hidden and then realizing that they’re all in a garbage can 3 miles away and it’s forcing me to find other ways to deal with my emotions.

but it will all be worth it in the end. my scars will be there forever but there will be a day where i don’t have to hide open wounds and sneak around my friends and family to find ways to hurt myself.

there will be a day where i’ll be able to enjoy my life like an ordinary person and without the looming threat of my mental health getting in the way and THAT will be the day i live for.

#988blr #styroblr #cvtaddict #tw s3lf harm #recovery #pro recovery #tw sh related #tw sh implied

[styrostuff]

one thousand notes and 4 days of sobriety :)

okay you know what

1,000 notes and i’m gonna make an active attempt at getting clean and trying to figure out how to learn to enjoy life.

i don’t mean this in an attention seeking way! well kind of. i think i would be a bit more incentivized to recover if i had a couple hundred eyes on me instead of just my friends and family.

i’m tired of being sick. i’ll still use this account to vent but i wanna prove to myself that someday i’ll be more than my addiction and mental illness

i’m at a day right now, which is a very big milestone for me. i hope i can continue to make strides towards somewhere better.

#bpd #harm reduction #988blr #styroblr #recovery #tw s3lf harm #tw sh related

[styrostuff]

i threw my blades away.

i was at a movie theater with my best friends in the entire world with my blades in my purse just in case. and on a whim i just threw them out.

i don’t know how to feel. on one hand i’m proud of myself for letting go of this absolute fucking war with myself but at the same time i have to learn how to cope like a normal human being now.

biggest step i’ve ever taken

but if worst comes to worst theres always the sharpener sets at dollar tree!

#988blr #styroblr #baby cvts #cvtaddict #tw s3lf hate #tw self destruction #vent #cat scratches #made of styro #tw s3lf harm

[styrostuff]

not even at 1,000 yet and already making progress. thank u so much for all the love. ur all more loved and appreciated than u will ever know.

okay you know what

1,000 notes and i’m gonna make an active attempt at getting clean and trying to figure out how to learn to enjoy life.

i don’t mean this in an attention seeking way! well kind of. i think i would be a bit more incentivized to recover if i had a couple hundred eyes on me instead of just my friends and family.

i’m tired of being sick. i’ll still use this account to vent but i wanna prove to myself that someday i’ll be more than my addiction and mental illness

i’m at a day right now, which is a very big milestone for me. i hope i can continue to make strides towards somewhere better.

#harm reduction #recovery #988blr #styroblr #shblrr

[styrostuff]

[styrostuff]

okay you know what

1,000 notes and i’m gonna make an active attempt at getting clean and trying to figure out how to learn to enjoy life.

i don’t mean this in an attention seeking way! well kind of. i think i would be a bit more incentivized to recover if i had a couple hundred eyes on me instead of just my friends and family.

i’m tired of being sick. i’ll still use this account to vent but i wanna prove to myself that someday i’ll be more than my addiction and mental illness

i’m at a day right now, which is a very big milestone for me. i hope i can continue to make strides towards somewhere better.

#988blr #styroblr #baby cvts #cvtaddict #tw s3lf hate #tw self destruction #vent #cat scratches #made of styro #tw s3lf harm

[styrostuff]

no feeling worse than hitting styro, bandaging and cleaning it, and having it be almost completely gone the next day

#988blr #styroblr #baby cvts #cvtaddict #tw s3lf hate #tw self destruction #vent #cat scratches #made of styro #tw s3lf harm