stsgooo - Tumblr blog

stsgooo · 10 hours

Text

A Heart To Fall For

*ೃ༄ summary: Yuki teaches Choso what it’s like to be alive

warning(s): sexual themes, explicit sex, oral sex, hand jobs, blow jobs pairing(s): tsukumo yuki/choso kamo wc; 6.6k a/n: this was completely self indulgent and my first fic im posting here please be nice to me thank you (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧

______________________________________________

How did he get here again? Right, Yuki had invited him over after having drinks together. She had him dressed in a nice suit, she had prettied herself up and shown him what it was like to “drink” and “party” like a human would. He felt like the suit was a little much, but he didn’t want to question her. He trusted her to know more about what it was like to really live, so he played along. He liked a coke and rum, beer not so much, and a margarita was pretty tasty. Yuki also took a liking to the more sweet drinks but when he watched her down some liquor he had an understanding of the appeal to be at a social event and actually have people (or just one person in his case) to drink and party with, and that made him understand Yuki just a little bit more.

He didn’t like the dancing very much, his feet felt too heavy, movements too stiff, he didn’t know what to do with his arms. He watched Yuki raises her arms to the beat of the music and watched the way her hair escaped the clip on her head, her feet expertly moving even in those high heels, and her hips. Choso had to take a moment when watching her because her hips had made him feel something, something he hadn’t recognized. His face had grown hot, hands clammy and his movements felt even more rusty than his first attempt. Maybe it was the alcohol. But then Yuki grabbed his hands, saying something about feeling the music (he couldn’t hear her very well over the loud music) and she placed his hands on her hips and that’s when he froze up altogether.

He was used to physical contact, of course. He’s a very affectionate older brother, especially to Yuji. He was always a touchy feely sort of guy and was not afraid to show his affection for his brothers through his hands, through hugs and pats on the shoulder. But the way his hands fit so well on Yuki’s hips, the way she swayed them back and forth, the way she held her hands over his to guide him to dance to the music had his head spinning. Why? Why is this feeling different? What is this feeling, anyway? But he went along with it, he had the instinct to pull Yuki close, his feet tried to follow hers and he found himself getting closer. Closing the gap between them until they were connected at the hips, Yuki looked down at him with what he could only think was a mischievous smile. He almost had to strain his neck to gaze up at her.

“Choso,” she said with a drawl, one that made his heart beat hard against his chest. Something bubbled within him in his lower stomach at the way she said his name, placed her hands on his chest and followed a path up around his neck. She moved her hips more precisely now and it sent a feeling down Choso’s body, his shoulder went stiff as he processed the feeling but he did his best to just keep dancing as if he hadn’t even felt it. He still couldn’t seem to find the beat, but something had been growing inside him, something strange that boiled in his stomach and twisted his chest and when he looked at Yuki the feeling only grew tenfold. One of her brows arched and the strange feeling growing between his legs made him painfully aware that she could feel it too.

“Choso…” she said again with wide eyes, losing her composure for just a moment before she gave him that smile that he had grown to enjoy. She giggled at him, holding him closer now. “Are you feeling good?” She teased, but he didn’t pick up on it. He only dumbly nodded, being so open and wearing his heart on his sleeve for Yuki. She laughed, big and hearty, throwing her head back and Choso realized he wanted to hear it again and again and again. She wiped a tear off her cheek.

“Oh my god, Choso! You are so funny.” They leave shortly after and he doesn’t understand why she’s is walking in front of him so closely but when he asked all she said was she didn’t want him to be “embarrassed from people seeing him in his current state.” Whatever that meant.

He hadn’t realized the tent forming between his legs and wasn’t feeling the strain of the fabric against him until they had gotten to the car. Yuki informed him what it meant, a boner (humans have such strange sayings). “You feel good! It means something is turning you on, in this case I’m guessing it was me grinding on you.” He barely understood any of that sentence, sure he could assume when she had her body pressed to his that was “grinding”. He remembered Mahito speaking ill of humans, going on a long spiel about their sexual desires, how most people seemed to lead their life based on sexual intercourse and self pleasure, he said men “think with their dicks”. He had tuned him out shortly after when he started to form his hands into small naked humans and made them fornicate.

“I don’t understand, ‘turning on?’” He asked gently, and Yuki laughed again.

“You feel aroused sexually. Men, like you, get what we call a hard-on, or a boner. You can either ignore it, or you can…well… touch it, make yourself feel good and then the feeling will go away.”

He looks down at his pants then at Yuki again. “How do I know how to touch it?” He saw Yuki’s cheeks go red, and she stumbled into a sentence and it made him realize he had never seen her so flustered.

“You know!!” She could only say, gripping the steering wheel of her car, heat enveloped her entire body and sure, she could understand that Choso was just innocently asking questions because he truly had no idea and wanted to understand. Her attraction to him felt obvious and it was only then did she realize he truly had no clue about her feelings.

“I don’t know, though,” he says gently, looking down again. His hand moved from his thigh to where the bulge is, and he placed his palm over it. He felt a sort of tingle go down his spine and he wanted to feel it again, so he rubs his palm against it. Good. That felt good. His curious, awkward hand pressed and rubbed against himself and he closed his eyes momentarily and behind his eyelids was Yuki in front of him, her hand replaced his as she rubbed over him expertly.

“Not in my car!” She yelled in his face and his eyes shot open, head turning to look at her, breaking his illusion. His hand quickly left where his bulge was and he gripped his thigh.

“I don’t understand, I thought you told me to touch it…”

Her face is properly red now. “Well, yeah but that’s for your alone time! Or with someone you trust to do that with!”

He cocked his head, “Someone I trust to do it with?” It clicked after he said it. “Ah,” he sat back in his seat, thinking for a moment before letting the question spill out. “Can you show me?”

“What?” She struggled to keep her eyes on the road.

“I don’t know what I’m doing and…I want to understand what’s going on with me. And I trust you.” She couldn’t argue with that. She had shown him so much of what it was like to be a human already. It would be cruel though to sleep with the man she had grown so fond of when she didn’t even know if he had reciprocated those feelings. But here he was - asking to understand, asking her to help him understand. How could she say no?

So that’s how he got here, in Yuki’s apartment, sitting on her couch, Yuki on her knees in between his open legs. He got a good look down her dress at this angle, she was always taller than him, he took to admiring her features that he forgot he could look at other parts of her. He couldn’t understand why the view of her breasts, pressed together was so appealing and why it made the bulge beneath the fabric twitch.

“Yuki,” he says when she splays her hands over the expanse of his thighs. She looks up at him and there’s a look in her eyes that he had never seen before. Something dark, something that looked like a want, a hunger that made his words fall short. She runs her hands up his thighs, feeling the heat radiating off of him and her hands get dangerously close to where he’s aching until she presses her hand over the bulge. She sighs, her hand slowly palming at him, the same way he was in her car. He lifts his hips in hopes to gain more friction but Yuki only pulls away and uses her other hand to press him back down into the seat. “Let me do it for you.” He doesn’t know how to describe the electricity that ran through his entire body at that moment. He nods, putting all of his trust in Yuki and watches her hands unbutton his slacks.

It felt strange, a good strange when Yuki releases the strain against him, helping him out of his pants and the underwear beneath it. Her hands followed where her eyes went, pushing his dress shirt up a little to run her fingertips over the dark hair trailing down from his bellybutton. Yuki’s voice felt far away when Choso closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of her soft hands moving across his skin so slowly. “People who have sex together almost always do what is called foreplay,” her nails find themselves running along the trail of hair, dipping lower and lower until she parts her hands to run over his thighs again. “Foreplay is like petting,” she pets her hands over his skin, “caressing,” her palm presses into his thighs and she gently rubs her fingertips over the skin available to her, “and kissing,” she finishes by lowering her head. Her hair falls over her face and her bangs act as curtains so Choso can’t see when she plants her lips onto his thighs. Her hair tickles against him and he squirms and notices the way his dick twitches involuntarily. His skin feels hot and he can feel his blood rushing to where he’s hard and needy for her already. Yuki’s lips trail over him, nipping and leaving searing hot kisses on him, her hands roam back up his body, bunching his shirt up, showing the strong muscles of his torso. She goes further, letting her fingers roam across the hills of his abdominal muscles and up to his chest, the shirt is bunched up at his neck now and his chest rises and falls with each sharp intake of breath.

“Yuki,” he’s quiet, gentle, he cracks his eyes open to look down at her. She hums, giving him permission to continue, “I like this.” He’s not sure what to do with his hands but when her finger trails upwards towards his chest, running a finger across his nipple does he gasp at the sensation and his hand is grabbing her wrist before he can stop himself. He feels the heat in his body increase and when he looks down at her to apologize he notices something leaking out of him from between his legs. His tip is leaking some sort of substance, but it feels good, he wants to explore this feeling. Yuki hasn’t noticed it yet. He apologizes before gently pressing her hand back to his chest, yearning to feel that sensation again. “I liked what you were doing…”

“Yeah, I could tell.” He blushes. She does it again, sitting up on her knees so she’s level face-to-face with him, she gives him a sultry look. She’s enjoying this just as much as he is, especially when his jaw goes slack to let out another gasp when her fingers pinch around his nipple. His eyes flutter shut again, Yuki slides her free hand upwards to his other nipple, playing with that one and Choso releases a moan followed quickly by a gasp. Adrenaline shoots through him and he finds himself arching his back away from the seat and letting another groan fall out of his mouth, he has never felt anything like it before. Yuki continues her movements, watching him screw his eyes shut tighter and bite his lip to contain his moans.

“Be loud,” she says, “It feels better when you get to be loud.” His lips tremble when they part open and he lets out a drawn out whine, opening his eyes again to see Yuki inches away from his face. She was right, every pinch and rub had him releasing sinful groans and every time he did he could feel something coil in his lower abdomen. The feeling startles him and he flinches beneath Yuki’s touch.

“You’re right,” his voice shakes, “I-It does feel better…” It’s overwhelming, when she pinches his nipples again he lets out a sound and Yuki- aroused just as much as him-can't help it anymore. Her mouth finds its way to his chest and she lets her tongue make a trail from the bottom of his pec to where her finger is flicking his nipple. She pulls her hand away to let her tongue take a turn, twirling it around and feeling his nipple pebble and harden beneath it. “Yuki-! Ah- What-“ The wetness of her tongue across his skin makes him shiver, his hands shake and find themselves in her hair, holding her there. She wraps her lips around it and sucks, looking up at him to gauge his reaction.

His mouth hangs open and she notices the stripe across his face morph, it trembles across the bridge of his nose and she notices parts of it begin to droop down his face as if it was melting from the searing heat of his skin. His eyes are tightly shut, his hands ball into fists and his back arches off the couch yet again. The coil inside him tightens and Yuki’s tongue doesn’t relent - in fact she moves to his other nipple and makes good work of that one too. When he musters enough courage to meet eyes with her, he notices the red spots forming across his skin, his blood peeking just below the surface. He had never seen anything like this before, sure, he had control of his blood but he didn’t know Yuki could bring it up to the surface like this and that only aroused him more.

Yuki flicks her tongue before finally pulling away from him. “Perhaps I went a little overboard,” she takes notice of the hickies littered across his chest and she gently wipes her spit away. “Most people like these,” she presses a manicured nail to one of the sores she left.

“Why?” Choso asks with such innocent sincerity. But she only shrugs.

“For me it’s the possessiveness of it, like you would cover me in those to claim me, give me them in spots other people can see so they know too.” Just the mention of possessing her, or her possessing him had Choso’s dick twitch with delight. That’s when Yuki finally notices. Her hands are on his thighs again, closer to where he’s leaking and hard, her fingers dip into the coarse hair around his dick and she glances up at him. He’s staring at her, flustered but curious as to what her next move will be.

“Some people,” She begins, her fingers dangerously close, “They use their mouths to make their partner feel good.” Choso shudders at the thought, if her tongue and mouth had made him feel like he was being engulfed in a sea of arousal, then her mouth on his dick would most definitely drown him beneath the waves and take him away, never to be seen again. “I’m a hands-on type of gal, but I don’t mind the occasional blowjob” she teases, raising a hand to hover over his shaft. (He could quickly figure out what a blow job meant). She looks up at him. “Can I touch you here, Choso?”

He didn’t even have to think, his mouth moved before he could register the question. “Yes.”

Her hand is warm and soft, his skin feels like its searing, almost like he was afraid he’d burn her. But if that were the case she wasn’t showing any sign of it bothering her. In fact, he saw a twinkle in her eye when she finally got her hand around him. Watching with a quizzical look, Choso admires how beautiful she looked between his legs like this, her hand wrapped around him, her pretty hair draped over her shoulders and practically shining under the moonlight that was creeping in through the curtains.

“You’re practically dripping,” she says with delight, and she’s pressing the pad of her thumb into his precum, smearing it gently over his tip. Choso jolts, realizing now just how sensitive he is, he blushes and presses his chin into his bundled up shirt in hopes to hide his heated cheeks. He says her name through a shaky breath and then he watches as she spits into her hand. His eyes widened.

“Why are you doing that?”

She looks up at him. “It feels better, trust me.” And he does. He doesn’t question it when she does it again with her other hand. He doesn’t question the way she wraps her hands around him, one hand pressed his still leaking tip into her palm and she rubs it with a softness only he could trust her with. Her other hand makes slow, precise movements to ensure that she’s got a good - not too tight - grip on him. Her hands pump slowly, bringing the skin up along with it until it covers half of his tip and then she brings it back down.

Something blossoms within Choso, maybe it’s the way Yuki is being so gentle with him, or the way she ducks her head to kiss his thigh and then sink her teeth into the flesh that makes his heart feel like it’s going to burst out of his chest. This feeling boiled inside him, it made his head spin, his hands shake, his lips tremble. The way Yuki looked at him only made it worse, he had to close his eyes, he was suddenly nervous. Afraid that if he looked at her for too long he’d say or do something stupid, he had to turn his head away for good measure.

The experienced woman, jerking him off slowly, kissing his skin and leaving more bites over his skin, brushes her lips against the base of his cock. Choso, not recognizing the sensation, gasps loudly and it quickly turns into another moan. “I-Wha-“

“Look at me.”

He immediately obeys. Her eyes reflect the moonlight, making it look like the entire sky was in her eyes, her mouth opens and her tongue makes a small stride over the base of him, his thighs tremble beneath her weight. Yuki smiles, and as if she was made to do this, she gives him another pump with her fist, her grip tightening around him. “Tell me what feels good.”

How can he answer that? It all feels good, amazing even, his blood rushing in his ears muffles the sound of her voice and his hands find their purchase on her head, tangling his fingers through her long hair. He’s breathless, “All of it. You make it feel good.” He’s positive that if this was anyone else, he wouldn’t be reacting like this, his skin wouldn’t be on fire, his legs wouldn’t feel like jello, and his chin wouldn’t be trembling. “I…I like it when you…grip it tighter.”

Her hands clamp harder around him and that coil inside him is close to breaking. “Like this?” He can only nod, opening his mouth to breathe hard and fast. Yuki jerks him off like that for a little longer, occasionally spitting back into her hand when they had gotten too dry for it to feel good anymore. He stares at her, and she meets his gaze, her dazzling smile fixated across her mouth. “You know,” she starts and Choso swears he could see her cheeks redden, “This is arousing for me too…” His heart skips a beat at that, and it sends yet another jolt down his entire being. This had been just as pleasurable for her as it was for him. His fingers stroke over her scalp.

“Can…is there something I can do?” Yuki lets out a laugh through her nose.

“No. Not yet anyway. Maybe another time.” She lowers her head, her lips centimeters away from his tip. “Can I use my mouth on you, Choso?”

“Fuck,” He lets out a sigh, fingers tightening on her hair. “Please.” She takes no time at all, her tongue laying flat against his tip, he watches precum bead out of his tip and onto the muscle. She swipes her tongue side to side, his thighs clench together around her torso, her knees dig into the floorboards of her apartment and she lowers her head, taking the head of his dick into her mouth and wrapping her lips around it. Just the sight alone has him sweating, chest heaving, fighting the urge to thrust his hips. Yuki keeps a firm hand on his pelvic bone, holding him down with great strength as she takes more of him into her mouth, her tongue following down with her lips. When she pulls away he sees the glistening spit mixed with the cloudy substance releasing from him. He says her name with a breathlessness that makes her thrust her head back down again, humming around him so he can feel the vibration of her voice and feel the slickness of her tongue that swipes over his shaft. Her fist wraps around him again and pumps the remaining exposed skin that she can’t fit. Spittle dribbles down into the forest of coarse hairs and she does her best to gather the wetness up and move her hand up and down expertly.

Instantly, the coil growing tighter inside Choso snaps and Yuki feels the first spurt of cum paint the inside of her mouth. She pulls away, wanting to see him as he comes undone, she lets his hip go and he’s whining, thrusting into her hand that she still has a tight grip on. Ropes of white shoot onto his stomach, his thigh, it covers her hand and she doesn’t stop, watching the way his skin becomes red as the blood rushes over his whole body. She watches the way his eyes cross just slightly, the way his adam’s apple bobs up and down as he struggles to let out words.

“Yuki,” he says it’s so pathetically, pleasure seeping through his expression is quickly bombarded with a look of confusion as he watches the last bit of his cum leak out and slowly run down her pretty fingers. His chest falls and rises slowly now and he’s slouching in the seat, head fuzzy and vision blurry from what he had experienced. “Was that- What was that?”

“Congrats,” she says, pulling her hand away and reaching for her box of tissues on the coffee table behind her, “You just had your first orgasm.” He had heard that word before, now realizing what the word meant. He sighs, his body calming down from his high and when Yuki lets go of him it limps and lays over his thigh, now softer. He can feel the blood pulling away from it now and his head slowly began to become clearer.

Yuki begins to clean him up, wiping away what was released onto her hand first, her hands are still warm when she touches him, and she wipes away the evidence of his pleasure. “You sound really pretty when you cum.” She says it so nonchalantly, as if he had asked her how her day was. He feels his cheeks flush red again, she looks so pretty like this, her lipstick had smeared a little and you could see the remnants of it on his pale skin, where she had kissed him, sucked him, bit him. Her hair undone and flowing over her shoulders, the hair tickling his sensitive skin. He didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you.” He says. “I want to hear you too…if you’ll let me.” She looks up at him through her lashes and smiles.

“Maybe some other time.” She helps him pull his pants back up, not bothering to button them and smooths his now wrinkled shirt. “C’mon,” she pats his knee, standing up. “Let’s get you clean.” He was still incredibly sweaty and he’s suddenly worried that he smelled bad, when she turns her back to him he lifts an arm to smell himself, he quickly gets up when his nose scrunches.

Yuki draws a bath, still in her evening dress she sits on the edge of the tub and lets her hand comb through the water pouring into the tub. Choso walks in slowly, the room already feels hot, or maybe it was just him. Something about seeing her there, doing something for him had him fighting back tears. He didn’t know someone could care for him the way he had cared for his brothers. He didn’t know there was a possibility that someone like him could receive that care and kindness. His footsteps fall short when he enters the room and shuts the door behind him. She looks up at him, smiles at him and shakes off the water dripping from her hand.

“Let’s get you undressed…again.”

“Right.”

He sets his hands on his trousers, ready to peel them off when Yuki is suddenly in front of him, grabbing his wrists and setting them back at his sides. “Let me do it. I want to.” She squats as she lowers to the ground, he steps out of the pants and she folds them and sets them to the side. She does the same with his underwear, exposing him again. The warm steam emanating from the hot water feels good and when Yuki stands back up and begins to unbutton his shirt does he feel his blood pumping again. How is it that an innocent act like this springs up such sinful thoughts? Why had he thought about taking her right here? On her knees again and driving his cock in and out of her mouth, letting her drool all over him. He had thought about lifting her back up, getting up on his tippy toes to kiss her and taste himself on her tongue. Thought about her opening up his mouth and spreading his own cum over his tongue, making him swallow it.

He swallowed hard when his shirt finally came off. When did she finish unbuttoning? Yuki looks at him with a tilted smile. Her hand hovers over his pubic region, fingers lightly touching the hair growing there. “You’re hard again, Choso.” Could she blame him? Her fingers had grazed over his skin, he could still feel the way her mouth moved over his chest and the feeling of her teeth sinking into the flesh. He had gotten a taste of what it was like to know a pleasure unbeknownst to him, he wanted more and more and more. And he wanted Yuki to show it all to him.

He found some confidence and grabbed her wrist, he heard the gasp that escapes her, looking down at where her hand laid. He moved her hand, lowering it down, closing his fingers around hers when she felt his shaft and made her close her fingers around it. His head raises then, and his nose grazes over her chin, he makes a path past her chin and follows her sharp jawline until he reaches her ear. His voice was low, gravely with want. “I don’t think I can’t help myself when I’m with you.” His lips press into the skin where her jaw meets her earlobe and he could feel her pulse increase in speed. “Will you join me, please?”

Yuki, now being the one to struggle to find words, took a deep breath in and found her resolve. “Only if you help me out of my clothes too.” He had seen parts of her, when she wore a tank top and showed off her soft, tan skin. When she’d stretch her arms up and expose the expanse of her stomach, her long, slender legs in short shorts. He had seen plenty of her cleavage, he was eye level with it for god’s sake. But the prospect seeing her - all of her, had his heart thumping and palms become clammy. His hand reaches out and she turns around, pulling her hair up to expose the zipper on her dress. Yuki pulls away from him quickly though before he can begin to unzip it, letting out a frustrated exclamation. The tub had almost been overflowing, the water sloshing over the edge of it when she ducked her hand underneath the water to drain a portion of it. Laughing and apologizing, she lets Choso undress her, pulling her hair over one shoulder again. He’s smiling and his hand places itself on her waist, he watches bumps form over her skin, curious, his fingers run over the bumps.

“What are these?” He doesn’t see it but her face goes beet red.

“Goosebumps, you touching me made my skin react…” He pulls away, scared to hurt her. She senses his concern. “It’s okay, it’s a good feeling. You can touch me.” She reassures.

You can touch me. He grabs the zipper between his index finger and thumb and pulls it down, it opens easily, more of her skin awakens with goosebumps and he notices the dip in the middle of her back where her spine is. He thinks about running a finger down it, feeling more bumps awaken underneath the pad of his finger but he stops himself. Instead he helps pull the straps of her dress off over her shoulders and the fabric falls to the floor in a pile. She steps out of it, turning around so he can finally admire her exposed before him. He keeps his hands at his sides, resisting the immense urge to let his hands be his eyes and feel her, caress her, touch her. He lets his eyes roam, following down her neck and the slope of her collar bones, the way her chest expanded with each breath she took, he saw the curve of her breasts, admiring the marks on her skin that were scar-like - stretch marks, he knew the name of these at least. He raises a hand. “Can I touch you?”

She lets out a shaky breath. “Please.”

His finger runs across the mark on her skin, feeling the silken skin, it looks like it had been parted and revealed a softer, whiter patch of skin and he wants to let his lips feel the velvet softness of it. He lets his finger follow the curve, feeling the plumpness of her breast and he lets his fingers feel over her nipple that was already beginning to harden. He understood then the urge to lick, to place it in his mouth and draw out lovely sounds from her. His fingers press into the skin gently and Yuki lets out a noise. He does it again, hoping to hear it again and he succeeds, she makes a louder noise. “You’re sensitive here too, huh?” He asks quietly. She doesn’t answer, they both already know what she’ll say.

He wastes no time, bringing his mouth to her areola and sucks it into his mouth. Her skin is soft and he presses his face into it easily, his chin and nose fitting into place so perfectly he feels like he was meant to do this from the moment he came to life. He has the instinct to let his tongue flick the same way hers had on his. Yuki lets out a sharp yelp when his teeth clamp together on her nipple and he quickly laps his tongue at it to soothe the bite. His eyes raise to look up at her, her head is thrown back, a vein straining underneath her skin and he could practically see her blood pumping through it. He breaks away as quickly as he had started, leaving a bridge of spit from her nipple to his tongue before it broke. His fingers soothe over the mark he left, apologizing before letting his hands roam over her body. She squirms, placing her hands on his shoulders so she could grip them, holding onto her sanity. He noticed the last article of clothing, a pair of plain pink panties with white stripes across them. His finger hooked over the elastic band, pulling it down to see her hip bone and a sliver of shaved skin that folded into a v-shape that connected to her thigh. He pulls them down completely, crouching just as she had for him.

She’s tall, he of all people know this, but being at this angle he had felt so small beneath her gaze. His hands rest on her calves as he stares up at her and let his eyes roam the same path his hands took but this time taking notice of the small strip of blonde hair that led down right between her legs. Her legs open slightly, letting him get a good look of the slickness that glistened under the harsh light of the bathroom. His hand slid up, moving towards the front of her leg and up her thigh, his curiosity getting the better of him as his thumb slid where her thigh met her pelvis. Yuki brings her hand up to her face, biting on her index finger with anticipation. “You can touch, y’know.” She had told him that he could touch her another time…clearly the temptation became too difficult to fight.

He stares at her, where she’s slick and it looks like she’s blossoming, something sticks out the most and his thumb swipes over it. His partner's legs tremble and she bites harder on her finger, the teeth threatening to break skin. “Again, do that again.” So he does, his thumb swipes over it and she’s wet, incredibly wet. His mouth parts open in admiration at how reactive she became when he touches her, when his thumb presses and circles around the hard bundle of nerves and she lets out a moan. Her hands grip the edge of the sink and her head becomes cloudy. Choso was touching her with such a gentleness and innocent inquisitiveness that her heart began to ache.

She had sex before, of course, many times - but this was different. She hadn’t been caressed like this, no man had taken the time to gauge her reaction and focus on her pleasure the way the cursed object on his knees before her was. She cared for Choso much more than she realized and it wracked at her heart, her fingers on his shoulder clench when his finger slips past her clit and he feels the dip of where her entrance is. Overwhelmed with the blood coursing through her body and her trembling limbs, Yuki grabs Choso’s wrist and slowly pulls it away, whispering an apology. “The water will get cold if we keep up like this.”

He didn’t care about that and it was written across his face, his brows pinch and his lips firmly press together but he nods. “Sorry…did I do something wrong?” She’s already stepping into the tub and motioning him to join.

“No. No, you didn’t. Come.” He slowly gets up and joins her, sitting across from her. He can’t help his eyes wonder the beauty that is Tsukumo Yuki and he doesn’t wish to tear us eyes away. He felt like something he didn’t know was missing had been found, like a piece of him had been cast aside before he was created and Yuki was holding it this entire time. He wanted to experience everything with her, everything about what it was to be human. To choose a human life and live with her, stay with her, kiss her, touch her, smell her, embrace her and never let go. His eyes felt tingly, and they squinted slightly to try (and fail) to relieve the feeling. He loves her and of that he’s certain.

“Choso? Why are you crying?”

He looks up at her and feels a tear travel down his cheek. His hands reach forward to grab hers, bringing them close to his chest and their knees press together beneath the water. “Can I kiss you?”

She breathes. “Yes.” They meet each other's lips halfway and Choso’s tears flow out as if a dam had broken through. Her lips are warm and taste of cherry, they feel waxy to the touch and he remembers she still had remnants of her lipstick tainted on her skin. His hand rises from the water and he cups her face gently, feeling the peach fuzz on her face and letting his fingers slide into her hair to push it behind her ear. Their lips part then and Yuki takes the opportunity to ease her tongue into his mouth and tease it against his lips. He needs no lesson in kissing, it came as natural to him as his curse technique did and he slides his tongue easily over hers in response. Yuki releases a soft sigh and something along the lines of a moan oozes from her throat and Choso needs to hear it again. His other hand finds itself on her other cheek and he’s pulling her close, a hunger takes over his body and he can’t stop himself when her tongue weaves together with his and they’re panting in each other's mouths. The salty taste of tears overflow their taste buds and Yuki’s fingers curl against his chest.

He wants so badly to confess here, to tell her how much he’s grown affection towards her, how much he admires her and not just for her beauty but for her strength, resilience, bravery. She was so much stronger than he could ever be and he wants to know every single part of her. He wants to map the moles covering her body, let his fingers glide over the stretch marks on her hips and breasts, feel her heart beating with his, their blood pumping together in unison, to kiss her and swallow her moans and memorize the sound. He whispers her name across her lips and she says his name back with a huskiness and roughness that makes him want to claim her right here and now. But he pulls away, heart thumping and tears finally slowing their descent.

“Can a cursed object love, Yuki?” He blurts.

She stares at him for a second, her lipstick properly smeared over her lips and all over his face. Her own heart beats hard and she feels a pang of guilt for having to think of an answer. Choso had felt so much more human than a cursed womb and she was certain then that they shared the same feelings for one another. She felt jealous that he was the first one to basically confess his love for her. But she smiles at him, sliding her hand up to his face, tracing the pad over her thumb over her lips.

“You’ve chosen to live as a human, yeah?” He nods. She smiles. “Humans are built to love. So are you.”

More tears flow down his face and he drops his head into his chest. “Thank you, Yuki.”

#fic rec #PEPPERRRR #THIS IS SO GOOD AS ALWAYS #your talent is god tier you need to teach me your ways

4 notes · View notes

stsgooo · 27 days

Text

What Once Was.

✩࿐ summary: you had numerous problems, but resting at number one was geto suguru.

warning(s): lovers to enemies to lovers(?), self-indulgent on a nuclear level, reader is kinda obsessed with geto, unrequited requited love, cult leader geto things, semi-jealous fem!gojo, SMUT MDNI. wc; 13.8k

pairing(s): fem!geto/fem!reader, (slight, slight, slight) fem!gojo/fem!reader.

a/n: hello hello everyone!! first of all, i'd like to apologize for my month long absence from writing. i got covid and then i lost, like, all motivation for writing. but im back now so yipppeee! secondly, happy new year!! (23 days later) happy for this to be my first fic of 2024. anyway, i always see wacuoms art on here and twitter and fem!geto makes my brain go brrr SO i drummed up this silly thing based on that specific art piece. you should definitely check out their art bc it’s so beautiful and just AH!!

m.list ao3

ADMITTEDLY, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HAD NEVER BEEN… RIGHT, TO SAY THE LEAST.

Even in highschool, you’d clung to her like she was a life raft in the middle of the ocean, the only thing keeping you from floating away, the only thing keeping you from drowning. Neither of you had really acknowledged it back then. Much too focused on fighting curses and just fooling around to truly place any type of label on things. It was peaceful then. Both of you are untouched by the horrors that would come.

Then she had rushed off with Gojo on that Star Plasma Vessel mission, beaming and promising she’d be back before you knew it. Only to return with a bloodied chest and sunken eyes as she proclaimed the girl was dead.

Then she hadn’t returned from that mission. She killed 112 people, vanishing into thin air. Leaving Gojo (and you) to clean up the pieces of her sudden and brutal departure.

Back then, you’d only held contempt for her.

From the moment Yaga had pulled you aside during training with a fourth year, looking you in the eyes, and uttered read this, you felt rage. You felt a never ending, unsettled rage that sparked deep within your gut and dared to set aflame those around you.

Five days after departure. 112 dead. Village left in ruins. Home empty, but residuals indicate murder.

Geto Suguru. Sentenced to death.

Finality of her fate for the rest of time was printed on a piece of paper and passed around jujutsu society like wildfire. Always to be a defector. Always to be a murderer. Long forgotten was the girl who used to curl up against you, uttering her worries into your back. The girl who would shyly offer her help whenever you were particularly stumped. Gone was the girl who had offered something different and true to you. Now, a murderer.

A murderer. The girl who had always said death needed to be justified, that things needed reason, was the very same that killed 112 people and promised to kill more. A murderer.

You never quite got used to people associating everything horrible with her. The updates you’d hear as your school life came to an end. Whispers of her wrong doings just never matched with the face and person you had known.

It messed you up for a long time. Her betrayal. Your relationships slowly dwindled away as you fell reclusive. Faces that you used to greet daily, grew further away. Your graduation was met with little fanfare. In fact, you’d only received a voicemail from Shoko informing you that it was over and done while you were on a mission. You drowned all the negativity and the hatred down with work. Quickly assuming your role as a “powerful sorcerer”. A joke, in your books. You’d never been as powerful as the others. Never as useful.

Her defection made you feel selfish.

There was an extreme amount of anger and frustration that you took out on others when it was all pinned on her. Burned some bridges between you and few. Most notably, you and Gojo. Both of you had been pent up with the rage of the betrayal and things had been said. It was almost easy to leave her one and only. To take a job at Kyoto and completely leave Tokyo behind like a nasty stain on your favorite sweater.

What was once home and family, was nothing more than a horrible reminder of what once was.

Time moved on. Life took you different places and you met new people. You matured more and you worked towards trying to appear more stable.

But she always lingered in the back of your mind.

Gojo, when the both of you were still on speaking terms, had brazenly described her as a breath of fresh air. The last bit of blue spring. A beautiful luminous skyline that kept you captivated. Words all so flippant and nonchalant as if it were fact that couldn’t be contested or questioned.

You agreed.

But, at the same time, you’d seen her in a different light.

She’d always been the setting sun. Something that would go away, no matter how much you begged for its light to hold out a little longer. Something that would display the most beautiful things, showcase art that no other could obtain, then so ruthlessly take it away. No matter how much you reached out for it, it’d never been within your grasp. When you thought of sunsets, you thought of her.

When you saw certain hair ties displayed in shops, you thought of her.

When you lay alone in the middle of the bed, you thought of her— butting her way in, her long legs tangling with your own as she claimed you hogged all of it to keep her close.

When you saw, you thought of her. You saw a lot. You thought a lot.

Shamefully, you thought of her a lot, even after eight years.

At 24, you’re supposed to be better.

Everyone seemed to figure it all out. How to avoid the topic of her. How to move on so quickly. How to avoid talking about the sorcerer from their class, their school, their group that snapped and went on a spree. How to avoid giving updates when the higher-ups are a little desperate for someone to go out and find her, to finally put a stop to her.

Everyone but you.

Your avoidance, your loophole from thinking about her, was to simply diminish her to her. Nothing else. Nothing less, nothing more. Just her. No name. No face. Nothing.

She’d left you. She never said goodbye to you. She told Shoko and Gojo goodbye. Went out and found them. But not you. She didn’t want to see you. She didn’t feel the same as you did. All of the things you reminded yourself to keep you sane, from thinking about her with rose tinted glasses.

It was easier that way. You’d been doing good at it too. No longer your friend. No longer the girl you might’ve felt more for. No longer the strongest. No longer a sorcerer. Just her.

Well, until you received this mission.

The higher-ups had called you to Tokyo and you instantly knew it wouldn’t be anything good. Finding yourself in the middle of a dimly lit room, they offered not any ‘hi’s, ‘hello’s, or ‘good morning’s. They’d opened with, Gojo Satoru is no longer in the country and we have something of great importance to be dealt with.

Promising. Not at all threatening, right?

No way.

If they couldn’t even have Gojo Satoru present in the country for this, it was definitely something they didn’t want her finding out about. Something that she’d definitely hunt you down and kill you over if it was something insanely extreme.

Despite your inner reassurances, you knew it was something you wouldn’t like either.

Still, you couldn’t outright say no. You weren’t as strong, you weren’t as brilliant, or as cunning, or important as Gojo. You were just… you. A girl from a far off village who was lucky to be born like this, to be found when she had. To see what you could see. You’d always been plain.

You were in no place to decline.

What exactly do you want done? You had asked with trepidation, sensing something heavy in the air.

What they said next hadn’t ever crossed your mind.

One of Geto Suguru’s members has been seen scoping out the area where a Special Grade curse has been reported. We’re under the impression that she’ll be going to the area within the next two days to claim it. We’d like for you to take this chance and execute her.

The moment the name left the old man’s mouth, three years of your youth burst through your mind like a raid. Blissful times. Happier times. Before everything. When she used to tuck your hair behind your ear. When her eyes would be bright and jovial as you explained something childish to her. When she would utter your name against your skin and press the most delicate of kisses against you. When Suguru—

Your world crumbled the instant the name filled your mind.

You’d broken your streak. Of not saying her name.

It’s probably why you didn’t hesitate to agree. As her name repeated in your mind— Suguru. Suguru. Suguru. Suguru. All the wonderful and beautiful things that accompanied a name as sweet as hers. Ignoring the fact that you, when the moment came and the day called for it, would never be able to harm her. Much less execute her. You agreed.

They appeared relieved. As they thanked you for your time, for your cooperation. They promised you that you would be doing the world a service.

You were not so convinced as you bowed, then took your leave. Instead, you couldn’t help the burst of unnerving giddiness that waved over you.

It wasn’t long after you got home that you received an email including files upon files of information you’d have to stuff in your mind before going to the location. Long droning essays on the curse residing in the area, the area itself, and the type of person that had been nervously traipsing around a specific building taking notes. It didn’t really interest you, nor did you really take any of it seriously. A single photo of the person staking out the area appeared to be a young man, red cheeks, and wide eyes. He looked no older than 20.

It was well into the night, your fourth cup of some bottle of alcohol that's been sitting on your shelf for years, when you opened a file and saw her.

The first thing that caught your eye was the photo at the top. The picture was shitty. Grainy and taken from a distance, as if the photographer was in the midst of a large crowd, barely tall enough to get something decent. But it was enough to make your body lock up and your eyes to take in every detail of her endlessly.

She was older, much like you, her hair much longer, now adorned in a half bun with a single bang sculpting the right side of her face— much like how it would rest in your teen years. It appeared that she still had her gauges in, possibly a larger size than the last you saw of her. New piercings appeared to adorn her face, just above her eyebrow and on her bottom lip, a single ring on the right. She was just so… her. If it weren’t for the large robes that seemed to swallow her whole, making her appear small and approachable, you would’ve convinced yourself it was still your Suguru.

You read over the information gathered about her carefully. With much more attention than you had given to the special grade and skittish curse user before her. The file was filled to the brim with things she’d been up to for the past eight years—there were gaps here and there about what she’d been doing exactly, but you got the jist that none of it was necessarily good.

Almost immediately after her defection, she’d taken over the Star Religious Group. Something that brought you pause. You’d heard that name uttered here and there when you were younger. Especially from Suguru herself. As she got that hollow look in her eyes, staring distantly, she’d told you that the applause was neverending. When you asked who, she said them. The group. It made you wonder what could possibly possess her to take over the group and create it into— well, more of a cult. The information about it was far and few. Mostly detailed information about it was Suguru’s punishment for those she believed weren’t exactly useful, they most likely ended up dead and disfigured.

It appeared that most of her followers were either men hoping for some type of attention from her, women who were the same and willing to do more, or those who truly believed in whatever deranged thing she was passing around. There was a quite a list of men that had crossed some figurative line and detailed torture they endured because of their crimes in Suguru’s eyes— you didn’t let it sway you as you, wholeheartedly, believed they probably deserved it.

Another section detailed that she had a subgroup called “The Family”.

You were ashamed to acknowledge the heavy feeling in your chest. As you read about the members that were known— a man from Africa, a woman from Hokkaido, a blonde man of unknown origins— two girls. It seemed that this was something that caught the attention of not only you, but the higher-ups too. There wasn’t much information, but they seemed desperate to find some weakness with the woman. These two seemed to be it.

13 years-old, have not attended any schools, unknown birth origins, unknown curse technique. It seemed that Suguru had done good in keeping them secret, despite them being semi-known within the people that mattered.

Your heart beats erratically against your chest, your tongue darting out to moisten your lips. It’d been so long since you saw her. Not even a glimpse at a picture. You wished… Hell fucking no. You’re not doing this again. You’re not falling down this rabbit hole again.

Still, your heart ached. She had time for this family. She could tell Shoko and Gojo goodbye. But she never sought you—

You closed the tab instantly once the thought entered your mind. Downed the rest of your cup and pressed your fingers against your eyes, drawing in a shaky breath. All that time since you saw her. The amount of time since you stuffered all those pictures into the back of your attic, telling yourself you were done. The higher-ups ruin it for a botched execution.

It was in that moment, that you promised to exorcize the curse before she could ever get there.

An easy in and out. A fool proof plan that you drummed up drunk off your ass, and trying not to think about the teenaged you who would scoff at you now. You imagined her, happier and awestruck by a girl with a dazzling smile and heart of gold, standing over you and asking how you could possibly end up like this. When you and that girl of gold had promised an eternity of fighting curses together. She would be disappointed. As you were.

You decided, for the teenage versions of yourselves, you wouldn’t kill her. No, it couldn’t be you. Instead, you’d give her a sign. You’d kill that curse and it’d be a clear cut you’re being watched. She’d take the hint.

There had been a reason Suguru, red faced and teary eyed, had banned you from making plans in high school.

You arrived at the abandoned complex at 7PM.

After a long day of traveling, you were almost emotional to see it. But you knew what it meant as you stepped through the door. Another exhaustive fight that would leave you passed out on the train and the higher-ups giving you a lashing for failing so badly.

Your steps were light as you judged the area. It seemed abandoned and you didn’t see or feel any disturbances. Everything seemed in order. You whistled softly as you walked through the halls, searching each moldy and deteriorated room with the interest of a grandfather. It didn’t appear that there was any curse lingering. You were almost convinced you had the wrong address when you felt it.

It was something you didn’t acknowledge at first. Just as you approached the last step of the 12th floor. You felt this weight lift off your shoulders and you sighed contentedly. In an instant, everything felt okay. Like you weren’t about to have a quarter life crisis once this was done and over with. You pushed some of your hair back and just let your eyes droop as if a soothing lullaby was egging you into slumber. Bliss.

A beat.

Bliss, you realized with a shudder, was the last thing you should be feeling.

You felt a tug behind you. Last second, you whirled around to meet the eyes of the curse.

It was plump and red, an array of eyes staring at you alone. It almost resembled a strawberry as it floated feet in front of you. But its touch was not delicate or sweet, landing a hard ruthless blow in your gut that sent you flying back. Straight through an opposite wall and into one of the many abandoned apartments.

For a moment, all you could do was stare up at the ceiling with your ears ringing and head aching. You asked yourself, what the fuck am I doing? You should’ve told them to fuck off. Told them that you were not going to get yourself mixed up with whatever fucked ass shit Suguru was doing. You were done. You should’ve been more assertive.

But you were a coward.

You cursed to yourself as you dragged a languid hand up to your face. Pulling back to stare at the blood coating your fingers with a heavy sigh. You pushed yourself into a sitting position, swaying in your spot as your head grew dizzy. It didn’t take you long for you to realize your RCT wasn’t working. In fact, you had little to no cursed energy at the moment. An odd sensation of emptiness filled you with anxiety and you were suddenly reminded of what you read right before you saw her picture last night.

Along with the feelings of bliss, this curse can drain cursed energy from the user. Proceed with caution.

Maybe their true plan was to kill you all along. Who would even care?

Shoko could be semi-shocked, maybe. You hadn’t talked to her in years and the shock would primarily be rooted in the ‘wow, I haven’t heard from her in years. That’s awfully sad.’ way. In the best case scenario, she could show off your liver to an awfully curious student who wanted to know what alcoholism does to the body.

Nanami, possibly the only person that you kept contact with (which was only texts on holidays and whenever you had a question about locations), would say it was a shame and move on as if it was a bad game of football he lost a bet on.

Utahime would only cry because death is sad. And she would prattle on about how she knew you and could have possibly done something, if only she had known the job they were sending you on. In true Utahime fashion.

And Gojo.

Well, Satoru would probably roll her eyes and say something along the lines of— Go figure she’d die because of her own ignorance. Then make a poorly timed joke about your demise that would only get protests out of some faux respect for you.

It wasn’t nice. Or entirely comforting. Nor did you bring tears to your eyes. It was just your reality. Something you had accepted the moment you’d walked away from those you’d known.

It was just reality.

The strawberry-like curse was about to break through, with you accepting your death wholeheartedly, the hole in the wall when a loud roar vibrated off the walls to the right of the corridor. Both you and the curse had no time to process anything when a flash of something pounced by. The strawberry-like curse was suddenly out of your view with a loud screech. You could hear it fight against something, making feeble noises as they seemed to struggle against one another, but you couldn’t see anything except for the sudden pink mist filling the air. A last ditch effort at defending itself. But the thing that attacked it didn’t seem to care as it continued to growl.

You dared to inch closer to the hole and peek out.

Over the strawberry-like curse, tearing it to shreds, was a cat-like curse. Big. Much bigger than the other curse and definitely bigger than you. Huge talons coated in purple goop, pointed black ears, pure white coat, with purple and black swirls all around its torso. It looked vicious and you were suddenly worried that this was the true curse Suguru was after. Much better than a horny strawberry curse. Much more powerful too.

“Shame, I really was going to use that.”

It’s been eight years, four months, 16 days, and 30 hours since you last heard her voice. The last you had heard of her was a week before Yaga told you of her defection. She’d shown up at your door, black hair loose from its usual prim and proper updo, she asked if she could come in. You accepted without hesitation. She laid with you silently before she asked a question you thought about often: Do you ever see yourself being something other than a sorcerer? Back then, you hadn’t thought about it before you told her no. You told her that you were happy to continue doing this— it was what you loved. She stared at you long and hard that night. Then uttered that you were right.

The next day, Haibara Yu was killed.

Bitterly, you realized it hadn’t changed at all. Still sweet, still thick like honey, a trap for you to stumble and get stuck in. To cherish until the moment you perished.

You felt sick to your stomach as you refused to look over at her. You hadn’t heard her approach. Didn’t even sense anything, but that definitely had to do with the curse’s mist. She managed to sneak inside and now she was only feet away from you. You could feel her gaze. You had always been able to tell when she was looking, when she was prying open your head and trying to take a peek. It always made you feel hot all over, a tightness in your abdomen and a burn against your cheeks.

Now, it makes you queasy. Makes you sweat and shiver, goosebumps littering your skin.

“You know, people usually say thank you after you save their life.” She continued on as if this wasn’t hard. As if it wasn’t you and it wasn’t her standing in this abandoned building while a curse— her curse— devoured another. “But I suppose you were never one for manners.”

Is your lack of manners all natural or do you have to work extra hard to be like this? Suguru used to tease you after you were particularly difficult on a mission. Bumping hips with you, hand brushing against yours, eyes half crescents as she smiled. Her. Her. Beautiful.

She had been everything.

She’d been the one you sought out when you were much too jumbled for anything or anyone else. Been the first you opened up to, spilling all your secrets and worries into her ear. Been the first to hear it all and to touch you delicately, to embrace you so tenderly that you believed you were everything horrible.

She had been love.

But that was before she became a mass murderer. Before she promised a world without non-sorcerers. Before she had left you in the dust without so much as a glance. Before everything. That was your reality now.

You clenched your jaw, head tilted down as you weighed your options.

The cat curse was in the way of the exit, still devouring the other in a ruthless onset of hunger. You wouldn’t be able to get through it without your cursed energy, which you could only just start to feel slowly returning. She was blocking the hallway that led to the fire escape. Probably a deliberate choice and she probably wanted to attack you with these lack of escape routes she’d given.

The only option was the window behind you.

To jump and free fall from the 12th floor, then book it, hoping to get away fast enough. Your only hope was that you landed and didn’t break anything.

Your foot shifted, getting prepared to book it, when she spoke again and, effectively, stopped you.

“I wasn’t going to come today, but one of my people said they saw you, and…. Well, I’ll admit, I was a tad curious.”

Your ears rang.

She had come… specifically for you? She wasn’t even going to get this shit, but you had been there, and she came?

A part of you dared to grow hopeful. A part of you that you’ve tried to push down and ignore for almost a decade. A part of you that was insane and thought insane things. Dreamt of things that could never be. It was the side that was absolutely obsessed with her. The side that just wanted to consume her whole and for you both to become one. One side that would something wish you were a curse that she could swallow and summon at will. Your mind was soaring with wild things. Crazy things.

You tried to focus on something else. Like the fact that she regarded this as a purely curious endeavor. Curiosity was an interesting choice of word. You could be curious about anything. Like the sun and the moon. Or a bug. This situation felt more like a bug. Like she was holding a magnifying glass and watching your movements, adding pressure to you, seeing what you could handle. Next, she’d hold out the glass to the sun and scorch you alive.

In your state, you’d probably thank her.

You could see her shift in the corner of your eye, she drew closer to you, and you could just barely make out the end of her robes.

“Are you not even going to look at me?” She dared to sound sad. To sound a little teasing.

You were convinced that if you looked at her, you’d be blinded. That you could never possibly look away again. That you’d plead and beg for things she’d never give you.

She sighed something heavy, “You’re angry.”

Angry? You wanted to say, instead clenching your hands at your sides, I’m downright murderous.

You’re angry you’re even here.

You’re angry that the higher-ups believed you could do this.

You’re angry that Gojo didn’t dare to even try.

You’re angry that you can pick out her soft fruity perfume as it fills the air.

You’re angry that your heart still beats wildly at her mere presence.

You’re so fucking angry that she can stand there and talk to you like it was nothing. That it hadn’t been eight years. That you hadn’t been forced to suffer alone without her.

Yeah, you’re angry.

Your eyes snapped away as the cat curse purred, making its way back down the hallway. You took a step back from the hole, fearful it’s pounce on you next. However, it kept walking, until it was by her side. You watched as it rubbed its face against her side, purring and mewling softly as she delicately ran her fingers through its fur. Her hands were bigger than you remember. Her long fingers carded through the fur gently, black painted nails a stark contrast to the white of the beast.

“I’m not going to fight you….” Yet, remained unspoken. It appeared to be completely up to you on whether or not you two would end up in a brawl. “I’m just here for a chat.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You spoke before you could think, before you could stop yourself.

She seemed to pause. Her hand froze momentarily in the fur, before it shakily began once more. “I knew you were angry.”

That only pissed you off more.

“Angry? Of course I’m angry! Here you are, after eight years, just popping in like it’s fucking nothing. Like this isn’t the cruelest thing you’ve ever done.” You retorted, your hands clenched tight at your sides as you deliberately stared at her tabi clad sandal covered feet. You couldn’t look her in the eye. You couldn’t see her face. It’d be over. You couldn’t.

She faltered once against, then seemed to take her chances, taking a step towards you. “I wanted to see you.”

Eight years too late. You thought.

You scoffed, jaw clenched, “Yeah, right, you didn’t want to see me eight years ago, why would you want to see me now?”

“Eight years ago—?”

“You went to everyone that mattered and said goodbye. You explained yourself to them and then you vanished. But there wasn’t a goddamn word for me?” You felt pent up anger and sadness from over the years conjured up once more. Nights you had spent curled up alone in bed after her defection, staring into the darkness, while the endless string of thoughts about your value and worth replayed in your head. It crushed you. The reality of it all. “Me? It told me exactly what I meant to you.”

“I wasn’t—”

“I cared about you much more than you ever cared about me. It was always you and Gojo, I just butt my way in.” You continued in an overflow of thoughts that you never dared to speak aloud. You figured, if this was the last time you saw each other, then you’d lay it all out. “I just wanted you to say something, but it made me open my eyes when you didn’t say a word. I learned my lesson.”

A beat.

“Really?” Her tone is flat, almost sarcastic as she regards you. “And what was that lesson?”

“Don’t assume your place in someone’s life.”

There was a prolonged silence between you both and you thought that she just might walk away. But you were pleasantly surprised when she chuckled. A deep and low sound that echoed off the walls and converged back on you. Goosebumps formed on your arms and there was a distinct shiver down your back.

“You don’t change, do you?” Her voice is thick with amusement and something oddly unidentifiable mixed in there.

You’re unable to answer. Had you really remained the same after all these years?

Suddenly, you’re broken from your thoughts as warm and soft hands slip to either side of your face, pulling your head upwards and you finally make eye contact with her for the first time.

The light brown warm and welcoming, an old home that called to you now as you stared at her with wide eyes. The bags that had tainted her under eye those years ago were non-existent now. Instead, wrinkles at the corner of her eyes adorned her features. You were half tempted to reach out and trace them, take them into your memory.

A sickness fills your gut as you take her in completely.

The blurry picture some informant took didn’t do her justice. It didn’t capture the warmth of her eyes, or the spread of her lips, the charming nature of it all. She looks better, healthier, than she had when you last saw her. Cheeks are full when they used to be sunken, fingers and arms no longer boney as they once were, she filled her clothes now, surely. Your eyes take in the new piercings that litter her face now. Two on her bottom lip, three on both of the upper lobes of her eyes. Her hair was longer and appeared to be silk like, still tied up in a half up bun, it was almost too familiar. The only thing that was different was the sharp smirk on her lips and her clothes.

Heavy robes, almost that of a monk, that seemed to swallow her large frame whole. The only place that seemed to be strained was her upper breasts, cleavage peeking from the fabric. Something that would surely bring shame to other monks, but pleasure to you.

Your little mass murdering ex.

“Ah,” Suguru breathed, eyes brightening considerably when you seemed to completely take her in, “Long time no see.”

You wanted to keel over right there. To fall to the ground and have your soul float upwards into oblivion. You might just die happy.

“....Suguru…” Your hand shakily wraps around her wrist, clutching onto her tightly.

Her eyes are almost manic, staring down at you as her fingers gently stroke against your cheek. “You think I didn’t see you because I didn’t care about you? You’re an idiot.” Her words are slow and deliberate, a tone that you would use on a petulant child. The tips of her nails dug into your cheeks as she squeezed them together, jerking your forward. You’re so close that you feel her hot breath fan across your skin. So close you could smell the faint scent of the mints she’d pop whenever she’d absorb a curse. It was dangerous to be so close, to be so vulnerable and under her touch. But you couldn’t pull away now, not waiting all this time just to see her. “I did everything I did because I do care about you.”

Your mind draws blank as your hold on her slackens, “You do…?” You whisper, words jumbled by the press of your cheeks.

Her eyes bounce from your own to your puckered lips, something dark residing deep within her soft hued irises. “You calling me a liar?” She loomed over you now, your back straining to keep her in your line of sight.

“I don’t know you anymore, Suguru— it’s been eight years. You’ve killed people, innocent people.” You attempt to keep your voice concise and level. To be the voice of reason in this mind numbing situation. But you can tell by her expression that you didn’t help.

She looks unimpressed, maybe even disgusted, by your words. “Innocent? They’re all as innocent as the serpent tempting Eve.” She drew you even closer, your breasts pressing against her own, the soft flesh smashed between the both of you. Her manic expression only grows more feral as she stares down at you. “They all have blood on their hands and they’re allowed to walk around without knowing what they’ve done. The amount of sorcerers that’ll die just for them to remain ignorant. Never having to know the kids, the people, that their emotions have killed. Those monkeys—”

In an instant, you were glaring up at her, “I didn’t come here to talk about your insane fucking ideals, Suguru! Now, either talk like a normal sane person, or this is done.”

She faltered.

She had the gall to look caught off guard, before masking her expression with a kind grin. She pulled away from you, her nails leaving deep red crescents in your skin. It almost burned, but your heart beating against your ears (and between your legs), distracted you from the gentle pain.

Suguru tucked her hands into her sleeves, her eyes closing as she bowed respectfully. “I apologize. I can get rather carried away with my thoughts.” The sudden shift in tone and the air was almost whiplash. It was crazy to see how easily she could go from crazed excited rage to this respectable monk offering her sincere apologies. It made your head spin. “I don’t mean to anger you.”

You eyed her for a long moment. Watched the way she kept her position. She didn’t falter or twitch. Just remained bowed.

“Why are we here?”

“I assumed you were sent here to execute me.”

With the nail hit on the head, you tensed.

This only dragged a scoff from her, a twinge of bitter amusement there. “Rather foolish on their part— thinking you of all people would kill me.”

It felt like a jab on your abilities. It was definitely a jab on your abilities.

“I could.” You childishly retort.

Suguru’s pierced brow raises, a twinkle in her eye that you could identify from your teenage years, “You could? Really?” She repeated, and it sounded terribly incredulous. “You’ve just had your cursed technique— which you could barely do anything with the last time we saw each other, by the way— leached away by a curse. You’re horribly banged up. I don’t think you could throw a straight punch even if you wanted.”

“I could kill you, if I really wanted— but I don’t do shit just because someone says so.”

There’s a long moment of silence before Suguru laughed.

She laughed and laughed. She laughed loudly. Hard enough that her head was thrown back, eyes closed. Her chest heaved as her arms wrapped around her midriff. The sound was wheezy and sharp, would’ve been mocking if it weren’t for the familiarity of it.

A sound that you hadn’t realized you missed until this very moment.

It was a heavy realization. Just how much you missed Suguru.

The tiniest of things that you had taken for granted as a child. Her laughs, her smiles, the little twitch in her hands whenever she wanted to do something, but hesitated. It made you think about all the things you had missed that year. The frowns and the distance in her eyes— the amount of times you had asked what’s wrong and let her slip by with a simple nothing too important. There were many things you should’ve done in order to hold onto and cherish those little things you once loved dearly.

You resisted the overwhelming urge to cry as you clenched your jaw, swallowing down any of the tears. You wouldn’t do this. Not here. Not in front of her.

“You really haven’t changed,” Suguru said breathlessly, calming down from her laughing fit to address you once again. “It warms my heart— to see you untouched by time.”

Untouched.

Untouched?

You were, arguably, one of the most touched people by the slut of time. You had suffered and agonized every day for years. To say you were unchanged, untouched, it was almost like her spitting in your face.

“Then you don’t know me.” You flatly reply.

Her amused expression falters. “Hm?”

“These have been the worst eight years of my life. The amount of shit I’ve been through to even be talking to you now— it’s been insufferable. I have changed. A lot. I have changed in ways that I didn’t even know were possible and it’s been the worst experience.” There was a spark of rage in you as you reached out and pushed her back. She didn’t move to stop you, but she didn’t even stumble at your ‘attack’. She just stared and stared. “Just because you couldn’t, what— stop being angry? News flash, Suguru, we’re all pissed off at the world, but we can’t do anything about it!”

“You could,” Suguru said quietly after a moment’s pause, “Any of us could do something about it. There’s just no opportunity from that place. They restrict you, put you in a box.”

If anyone hadn’t changed, it was Suguru. Who appeared and sounded like she was just as self assured as she was eight years ago.

Instead of arguing over something you know neither of you would budge on, you turned towards the stairs.

Your swift exit would be the best option. There was nothing to be said, nothing to be passed between the both of you that would change the fact that Suguru was sentenced to death— and you were left behind. The realization made you sigh softly through your nose, dragging your feet as you walked away. She made no move to stop you, not even asking what you were doing, it seemed you both agreed—

“I didn’t seek you out because I knew you couldn’t handle it.”

Her words made you pause once again.

You faltered in your step and your eyes were unwavering as they peeked at her from over your shoulder. Her head was held high, face unmoved, but her eyes… her eyes carried something heavier.

“Huh..?” You uttered.

Suguru took a deep breath, “I knew that if I told you goodbye, you would’ve done something stupid, like try to convince me to come back or say that it was a mistake. O-Or you would’ve thought that you could’ve done something to stop me.” I still thought that. I still believe that. I still imagine myself finding you and dragging your stubborn ass back. “I didn’t say goodbye because I thought…. Well, I thought it was a mercy.”

“A mercy?” You frown heavily at her, “A mercy from what?”

“From heartbreak.”

There was a moment of silence between you two that you dragged on for three minutes.

A mercy from heartbreak.

It almost made you laugh. How absurd the notion was— that her not speaking a word to you somehow spared you from any pain. That you wouldn’t feel the effects of her sudden disappearance just because she didn’t speak to you. It was an optimistic view on it. It was too hopeful. It was selfish.

So you just sharply laughed.

The sound was so sudden that you were almost tempted to jump. As Suguru does, blinking at you to stare at you with vague curiosity. You hadn't expected it yourself. It wasn’t a planned action, nor did you have any opportunity to stop yourself. It just happened. As abruptly and sudden as this situation.

Suguru’s thin brow raised, “What’s so funny?”

“You,” Was the immediate reply as you recovered, taking deep breaths, “Just…. A mercy. You’ve always been so interesting, Suguru. Your concept of sparing me from all those nasty feelings is so..”

“So what?” Suguru’s voice is flat as she regards you, seemingly unamused by this sudden shift in mood from you.

You shoot her a look, “Naive.”

“Naive?”

“Terribly. The fact that you genuinely believe I would’ve rather not heard from you at all to save myself the heartbreak is naive, Suguru.”

Her nose scrunched. “I was sparing you—“

You scoffed, “Sparing me? What am I, some-some damsel in need of saving?”

“A conversation wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“All I wanted was you to say goodbye.”

“You would’ve been devastated—“

“I was devastated when you didn’t even see me!” You reached out and slapped her shoulder. She remained unmoved. Not surprising given her wide stature and statue-like physique. “Do you know what it was like, waiting for you to stumble around and tell me anything? To hear from Gojo or Shoko that you saw them but I wasn’t even worth it? I waited weeks— months for anything. I would’ve taken a card saying anything. Hell, you could’ve been like, surprise! I killed those people. See you never xoxo! And I would’ve taken it. I would’ve sucked it up and swallowed my pride. But you didn’t say a word, Suguru. Not a single thing. That’s what devastated me.”

Suguru blinked slowly, staring at you from over nose as she seemed to blankly contemplate her next words. “A conversation wouldn’t have changed my decision.” She repeated, except it was more firm.

You take in a shaky breath, “I know that.”

“No, you don’t. I can see that you don’t.” Suddenly, Suguru’s hand raised, hesitating, before tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “I honestly didn’t haven’t anything right to say to you. Anything that came to mind, it just… it wasn’t right. I wanted it to be right with you.”

You tried to ignore the erratic beat of your heart and the heat rising to your cheeks as you stared up at her. “I would’ve taken anything.”

“You deserved more than some empty words I would’ve given. you then.”

A part of you truly did wonder what she could have told you then to comfort you. A part of you knew that you probably would’ve tried to convince her to come with you. To try and make amends with a system she despised. Or maybe it would’ve been carnage and your rage would’ve gotten in the way. Maybe it was best that you two hadn’t talked then.

Still, that teen in you had wished desperately for her one last time.

“My conversation with Satoru… she told me to stay away from you,” Suguru continued when you didn’t speak, “She said that one of us would probably do something incredibly dumb.”

Your eyebrows shot upwards, “Like what?”

Suguru rolled her shoulder, a distant look in her eyes, “I don’t know. Something dumb.”

“We were never the smartest together.”

“I suppose.”

The conversation waned and you suddenly noticed that Suguru’s curse was gone along with the strawberry. Probably both fell away into the recesses of whatever deep dark pit they were all nestled in. Waiting to be coaxed out, waiting to obey and impress their master by any means necessary.

It almost reminded you of high school.

Your desperate attempts at catching her eye. Gaining attention from the angelic girl that sat two seats over. Pathetic battles you placed yourself smack dab in the middle to show off and impress her with your silly fighting style. You were so painfully obvious and embarrassing back then. As if you were one of her curses, bound and promised to serve her. Fight for her, live for her, breathe for her. A loyal dog. Gojo had called you that once.

Shamefully, you acknowledged that same sense of loyalty lingered in the air now.

Why else would you drag yourself to this place? Killing a curse before she could get it just to send a message? Why would you want to warn the psycho killer that inhabited the body of your first…something eight years after she completely abandoned you?

Loyalty and need.

Suguru, larger than life, had you even after all these years.

Eight years wasn’t nearly enough time to lay her memory to rest.

“I’m not going to fight you,” Suguru spoke once the silence dragged on for almost too long. Her hands were tucked into her large sleeves, a peaceful expression on her face with something prowling in the darkness of her eyes. “You can return and tell them I caught you off guard while you were attacking the curse. That I got the upper hand. It’s the easiest way to explain why we’ll depart largely unscathed.”

You tried to ignore the way her eyes trailed up and down your body, taking in the wounds scattering your skin. Instead, paying more attention to her words. Which were more kind than you expected.

“I’m sure they’ll ask you questions. Just act dumb, you were always good at that when we were in trouble.” Then she turned towards the stairs.

She was walking away from you again.

Her back turned. Long black tresses swaying across her back. Shoulders tight and straight. Respectable.

She was walking away from you again.

Suguru! You had called out softly that day. Much younger and much dumber than you were now. Her back had faced you then. You thought nothing of it. Despite how much you longed to stare at her face, you hadn’t doubted you’d see it again. I didn’t even hear you leave. Will I see you later?

Suguru had released something soft then, peeking over her shoulder at you, Later.

She had walked away from you.

She never came back.

She was walking away from you.

There was no coming back.

You just needed a moment longer. Just a little more time to drag out the various things you’d imagined in the eight years she’d been absent. To satisfy some sick twisted part of you that longed, that yearned, that held onto her memories so dearly. The delusional part of you that believed things could be the same in some distant universe.

She was walking away.

She’s not going to come back. She wasn’t even giving the illusion that you both would see each other again.

She was walking away.

What are you going to do? You can’t let her go. Not after you’d gotten a taste of the girls you once were. Not that you’d felt her and—

She’s walking away!!!

“They know about those kids.”

You’re not entirely sure why you said that specifically. Probably something to do with the fact that was the original warning you wanted to convey with this whole thing. It just kinda came out. There was no putting it back in.

However, watching Suguru’s back stiffen, rigid and almost unnatural, as she paused in her steps, you realized you wanted to put it back in.

“Excuse me?” Her voice was different. Flat and unwelcoming, hard and unforgiving. She moved her head to regard you with the words you’d just spoken. They were darker than before. Guarded.

You keep your expression carefully open, trying to convey that you weren’t threatening her, “There’s moles in your congregation. They’re watching you and your family. They’re trying to find your weakness and they’ve started to set their eyes on those girls.” You pushed out in one breath.

Suguru pauses for a long moment, jaw tweaking and lips pressed thinly, “And I assume you saw what they had?” Her tone was still cold, still stiff.

You nod, “Yes. It’s very small, very limited. But they have some type of knowledge.”

Suguru faced away once again, her arms at her side and hands clenching. “Goddammit.” She hissed under her breath.

“I just wanted to give you that, uh, warning, so…” You cleared your throat, awkwardly swaying your arm. “Be careful.”

Suguru didn’t look amused or entirely receptive to your words. She suddenly turned around and glared at you. “How much do they know?” She sounded a bit frantic under the firmness of her tone.

“Just that they’re young. That you’ve had them around for a while. But they don’t know their technique or really anything about them.”

“It’s still too much. They know too much.”

“I’m sorry.” You uttered, as if you were the one that had caused all of this.

Suguru raised an eyebrow, “For what?”

There were a lot of things. Many things that you felt responsible for. Primarily—

“I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to stop it.”

Suguru’s complexion paled and she looked unbearably uncomfortable. “Stop what?”

“I never…There must’ve been something I could’ve done for you.”

Her expression grew firm and she released a heavy sigh. “I already told you, there isn’t anything that could’ve—”

“Deterred you from your path, I know. But—” Suguru let out an unbearable noise as if you were causing her great pain. Your own expression tightened up woefully. “But I still wished you were there. That-That you stayed and I could help.”

“You realize that I would’ve been miserable, right?”

“Was I really that bad at helping you?”

“No, I just…. No, you were the only thing keeping there until….”

Until it wasn’t enough. It lingered in the air and, for once, you realized that your apology was warranted. That your teenage self had tried to push down the despair with smiles and jokes. By lingering in her space, doing everything with her. Try to drag her from the recess of her mind.

It wasn’t helpful. Not when it really mattered. Not when it should’ve.

You weren’t there when she was hurt. You weren’t there when she was spiraling. And you were basically nonexistent.

“You and Satoru— you’ve always had your complexes. Whether you realize it or not.” Suguru continues on, eyes unwavering on your face. You’re suddenly hyper aware of the space and distance between you. Large and apparent. An obvious fissure separating you both from one another. “You wanted to save me. You still do. But you can’t.”

"Is it so bad that I just wanted you next to me?" You asked desperately, subconsciously inching forward.

"No, but it's bad that you still do." Suguru said honestly, a terrible thing flashing across her expression that was so vulnerable and so raw. It reminded you of days kinder and younger than you both now.

You scoff in reply, shaking your head and ignoring the flare of heat that covers your cheeks.

"You are loyal to a fault." She continues, eyeing you tenderly as she seemingly accepts her twisted perception in your life. "But it's misplaced. You have to accept that. I'm not coming back."

Your chest aches and your hands clench at your sides, nails creating crescents in your palms as you close your eyes. "Suguru—"

Suddenly, your hands are captured in a large embrace. Long fingers wrapped around your considerably smaller ones. Warm and tender, they had always been warmer than your hands. As if she were the sun and your the cold, desolate moon. Her fingers gently pried the unbearable grip you had on yourself and instead caressed her soft tips against the crescents marring the butt of your palms now.

You dared to drag your eyes upwards once again and meet her eyes. Her gaze is soft, unrelenting, and unbearably kind. Honey glazed eyes staring into your endless pits. Much too bright for the criminal. Something stares back at you. A pleading glint in there that you recognize from a days long passed. A call for the piece of you still holding on to a memory of her.

How am I, a lowly idiot, supposed to accept that you, an angelic figure, left me behind? When you look at me like that? You think, heart aching as you clasp onto her hands.

There's something twitching on your face and you're mortified to find it's a smile.

Suguru lets out a guttural sound, almost as if she'd been punched. "I can't do this." She utters between you both, but it's more directed to herself. Her eyes frantically skimming over your every feature. She seemingly absorbed something she found in your eyes. She spoke louder, "This is driving me crazy."

You blink lazily, "Huh?"

You have to tilt your head upwards to keep your gaze on her wavering face, crumbled and desperate. Her grip on your hands tightens as her tongue darts out to wet her plump lips. "I came here as a last send off to you."

Foolishly, you realize, you came for the same, "Me too."

"Would it be so wrong to..." You're suddenly jerked forward, pressed against her as the hunger in her eyes grows. One hand slides from your own and presses against your cheek, warm and welcoming. "Would it be bad for one last time?"

"No." Is your immediate answer.

"No, no, it wouldn't." She mutters, leaning forward, "I'm terribly greedy."

"You deserve to be."

Suguru lets out a breathless sound as both your lips meet.

It makes so much sense for Suguru to kiss the way she does— eager, but tender, excited. but careful. The soft press doesn't even attempt to hide how much she truly wanted this.

A feeling blossoms throughout your body as you capture her lips into your memory once again. Fuller and more experienced than those years ago, she moves gently as if to take this in carefully. Both of you slipping into one another as if two puzzle pieces newly found and a perfect match.

Suguru's kisses were much like her personality— rumbunctious, sweet, and calm. She kisses like she was breathing life into you. Like she was the representation of everything beautiful and good. All of it makes you snake your arms around her shoulders, around her neck, and pull her closer. Please, please, don't go away now. Don't leave me like this. You silently pleaded.

She obliged, her own hands snaking down your waist and resting over your tender flesh, fingers digging into your sides. Pressing you closer against her own body.

Suguru's lips are wet, and plump, and sweet, and you might just die right there. You were close enough that you could smell the sweet perfume clinging to her clothes much like you were.

Pressed against her, her fingers grabbing at you, lips warm and parting with wet clicks, heavy breaths in between. Her eyes watch you from heavy lids, a slight red hue brushed over her cheeks and bridge of her nose. It was like a desperate pull to continue, to not part until it was absolutely necessary.

There's something terribly serious and hungry in Suguru's gaze that makes your heart beat erratically and a ball in your gut tighten. Her lips twitched upwards. Then, she was pressing a wet kiss against your neck, pulling back only the slightest to speak,

"You're so beautiful." Another kiss, then nip.

You straighten, eyes falling closed as you release a small noise. A tingling wave of pleasure shot down your spine and into that needy place between your legs. An aching feeling filled with desperation making you reach out and twist your hands into her silk hair. Tugging as she needily licked and nipped at the pulse beating against her tongue.

You tried to remain calm. Tried focusing on the hot metal that was wrapped around her bottom lip. The way it had softly clicked against your teeth as she hungrily chased after your lips. Or the way they pressed against your skin now, smooth and a stark contrast to the mess that was Suguru's movements.

She trailed her lips from your collarbone, up, up, and up to your jaw where she nips it, running a soothing kiss against it once she was done. The noises that left you were embarrassing, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care much as she moved back to bring her lips against your own. Soft and tender. Speaking more than she could possibly convey with words.

Suddenly, you push forward, absorbing Suguru's shocked whimper with your erratic and feverish lips. The woman was clearly caught off guard by your sudden eagerness, but gave no complaint as you pushed her towards the floor. You possessively grab onto her thigh, the fabric of her robes pooling at the junction of her thigh and revealing the skin under it. Soft and warm, you squeeze and bring it to wrap around your waist as you lean over her. Her hands pressed against your cheeks and opened her mouth to allow you to desperately lap at the warmth. Frantic hands moving to gently open up her robes and expose her to you and you alone.

Your fingers reached between the heavy pooled fabric, basking in the way Suguru gasps against your lips at your touch. You lower and lower and—

The fabric is like silk.

Your eyes open, pulling away with a loud smack, you stare dumbfounded at the sight under you.

Suguru, whether specifically for this or just a daily occurrence (something that made you dizzy, wore a pink-ish purple set. Elaborate bra that was sheer, see through and proudly displaying her large breasts to you adorning two distinctly new piercings on each nipple. Lower, she wore stockings and a garter, wrapped around her middle thigh that was almost swallowed whole by the fat. The stockings made your brain fuzzy as you ran the tip of your finger against it. Electricity shooting all over your body as you dragged and dragged.

Her panties made your brain short circuit completely.

They were completely see through. They left nothing to the imagination as slick seemed to collect into the fabric, vaguely making out the way her clit jumped and pulsed with her pants. You resisted the urge to cry as you spotted the Christina piercing resting just above her hood. Glittering along with her cunt, it presented itself like a beautiful jewel for a king— or, more appropriately a queen.

Awestruck, you reached out and ran your finger over her lips, listening to her whimper and watching as she clenched around nothing.

“You’re more gorgeous than I remember.” You mutter, tilting your head as you stroke her once again.

Suguru lets out a breathless laugh, eyebrows furrowed, “You callin’ me ugly, princess?” She whispered, sounding equally as teasing as she was drunk on whatever chemicals were running through her body now.

You snap your eyes to her, tense as you pause in your menstruation, “No, you’ve always been beautiful to me, Suguru— I-I just… You’re so…” Gorgeous? Amazing? Breathtaking? Show-stopping? There were too many words you could use to describe her now. Too many things running through your tiny mind in that moment to truly grasp one.

Suguru’s lips were upturned, “So…?”

You were much too distracted to care about continuing your previous statement. “I want to… Fuck—“ You jerked forward, feeling lightheaded as you licked your lips. “I really, really want to touch you.”

“What are you waiting for?”

You didn’t wait for much more before you were kissing her swollen lips again. Your arm stretched to pushed past her panties and to greedily press against her.

Eagerness overtakes you as you run your pointer and middle finger through her lips, grazing her hole, then bringing the slick back to her clit to roll a lazy circle over it— Suguru gasps softly. Lips parted and face scrunched as you press. You watch in awe as she closes her eyes, tilting her head back as your movements grow precise and smooth.

You were convinced you were touching a piece of heaven. Her cunt was as soft and delicate as the rest of her. The wetness collected their almost made it silk-like. A gentle place that you tainted by brushing her hole and grinding the butt of your palm against her aching clit.

"God, just—" Suguru growled, jaw clenched as you tease her hole again with shaking fingers. "I swear, if you don't just put them in m— ngh!"

Your two fingers pushed in and Suguru grinds against your palm as she moans. A prominent blush now dusting her cheeks. Almost like she was embarrassed.

"You're so sensitive," you say, breathless, "are you embarrassed, Suguru?"

Suguru manages to conjure up an annoyed look, that make you grin in response. So you're a bit mean, that wasn't anything new. But it felt so refreshing in this setting. The fact that she was under you now and looking so... so her. It made you dizzy and reminiscent.

"You know you're unfairly gorgeous." You start to gently thrust your fingers, listening to the squelch and feeling her tighten around you with a pant. "Even your pussy is gorgeous."

Suguru lets out something akin to a laugh, but is quickly masked by the breathless sigh she releases. "Are you going to talk all night or fuck me?"

You try to keep your head on straight as you smirk down at her. "I just want to take my time."

Suguru huffs, but continues to roll her hips to meet with your hand. It's almost too much. The way she squeezes around you and sucks you closer. The way she whimpers and moans, yet tries to keep that serious mask over her face. It all drives you insane. You wanted nothing more than to watch her come undone under you.

Much to both of your disappointment, you pull away from her.

"Don't tease me— c'mon." Suguru paws at your shirt (now rumpled and unbuttoned), whiny and desperate as she stares up at you. "We've waited so long."

Your heart almost shatters, swallowing a thick lump that forms in your throat— you didn't want to think about any of that. Any of the bad things that happened between now and then.

With a hazy mind, you tug Suguru's panties off, throwing them in an unknown direction. Your hands rest against her open thighs, basking in the way she drips onto the robes below her, glittering under the soft light leaking from the window down the hall.

"Well," Suguru starts, a grin on her lips, "go on."

Like all those years ago, you don't hesitate to obey her command.

You lean down and place a kiss just above the hood of her clit. Closing your eyes as she lets out a gentle noise, her fingers finding home in your hair and clenching. Then, you lick a stripe from her hole up to her clit, wrapping your lips around the enlarged bud.

"Oh!" Her tone falters into what sounds like a mewl.

You suck and nip, coarse tongue swirling against the aching twitching bundle of nerves. Slipping two fingers into your hole, you try to focus on the way she writhes and presses your head closer.

A hoarse moan bounces off the wall as Suguru's wall clench more erratically against your fingers. Closer and closer. You curl them upwards—

"I've missed you. I've missed you so damn bad." The curse user babbles, drunk off the feeling coursing throughout her body from that spot of plushy flesh your petting. Chasing after the nearing edge that made her tingle and whimper. "Never want to leave you— never want to miss you again."

You draw in a breath as you reach down and start to finger yourself as you pick up the pace with Suguru.

You ignore the buildup in your eyes, the undeniable build up of pent up emotions almost taking over. You clench your eyes closed, trying to not think of it all. Of how badly you had missed her— missed this. Your mind repeating the lonely nights where you had only ever wanted her beside you. The days that you wished it was instead you running amuck, leaving death in your wake, and her in Tokyo. Enjoying a cushy job with people who actually love her.

Maybe that was more tolerable than the truth.

Your mind was filled with her. Your senses, all of it— Suguru. Suguru. Suguru. It wasn't possible to think or feel anything that wasn't her.

Please, please, please, Suguru pleads from her place. Sobbing as she tugs your hair, grinding against your mouth.

Her thighs are glistening with her own juices and your spit. Covering your own face and skin as well as you desperately swirl your tongue against her as if it was singlehandedly keeping you alive. You lick a firm stripe across Suguru one more, making her cry out and arch her back. You feel yourself grow closer as she babbles on about how good you are and how much she's missed you.

"You're all I think about," she gasps and cries, "all I ever needed."

As you clenched around yourself, you moan around her. Suguru sharply gasps, then, suddenly, her walls are pulsing around your fingers and her clit is spasming against your tongue. You watch from your place as her face scrunches up with pure bliss, lips parted to release the prettiest sounds you've ever heard, faint blush dusting across her entire body.

Your close behind with your own earth shattering, white noise inducing orgasm. Your grip on her unrelenting and surely to leave some type of mark to remind her of you later.

When you slowly come down, you realize that Suguru has pulled you down to lay on top of her robe with her. Staring at you hazily, swollen glistening lips, and that beautiful glow on her face.

"You're crying," Suguru whispers, reaching up to brush away the salty tears with the pads of her thumbs. "Was it too much?"

You're not entirely sure exactly what it was. An assortment of things. Things that made your chest ache and the love you felt almost unbearable. How were you meant to tell someone you had just ate out, that was laying next to you, wiping away your tears, that you missed them? You missed her, but she wasn't even really gone yet.

"I don't...I don't want to lose you again, Suguru." You admitted in a breathless whisper, eyes unwavering as you stared at her sad expression— both of you knowing what would happen. "Please."

"I can't come back." She stated, shaking her head. "Not after everything. No one would want me back."

"I want you back— we want you back."

"Not the people that matter."

You couldn't deny the horrible pang that spread throughout your chest and into your bottomless stomach. Not the people that mattered. Not you. Never you. You weren't enough—

"Hey," Suguru's hold on your face was firm and she brought you back from your mind. "Even if I wanted to come back, the higher-ups wouldn't ever joke about it. I'd be executed. Like you're supposed to be doing."

You sniffle, "Whatever, who cares what they think, anyway?"

There was a prolonged silence as you both just laid with one another. Staring at the crumbling ceiling above you with contemplative frustration. She was right, the higher-ups wouldn't even think about it before ordering her execution to proceed. Then you'd have the guilt of her death weighing you down.

Maybe she was better off far away from you. Far away from the world she hated so badly. Happier in her own world, with the family she created. Two little girls and three randoms that somehow found their way in her inner circle. You wished you couldn't be jealous. Detest them for so easily staying in her life. But you were selfish. You were mean.

There was a reason Suguru left you behind, this you were sure of.

"I would've told you that I loved you."

You're broken from your thoughts when Suguru speaks. You snap your attention to her and find that she's got her attention solely on the ceiling above. A distant look in her eyes and a careful blankness to it all that makes you pause.

"Huh?" You hum back.

She moves her head to look at you, honestly and tenderly. "If I saw you when I left, I would've told you that I loved you. That's why I couldn't keep you around. I couldn't confine you to a cage, constantly looking over your shoulder because of me."

You sniffle, nodding. Much like you not begging for her to come back with you, she wouldn't beg for you to leave with her. "I understand."

Suguru stares for a moment longer before she's suddenly shoving your shoulder, sitting up. "You're disgusting, by the way. Fucking me on the floor of a nasty abandoned apartment building like some feral animal." She looked irritated, but you could hear the teasing in her tone and the slight twitch of her lips.

You push yourself to sit up, watching as she grabs her panties from a nearby pile, disgust on her features. "You weren't exactly complaining, if I recall correctly." You conjure up the energy to tease back.

Suguru's face screws up, then she throws her panties at you, grumbling as you snort in return. "Eight years and you act like a hormonal teen at the sight of me."

"I have my weaknesses."

"I'm a weakness?"

Suguru was joking but your face set and you nodded. "My one and only."

Her expression faltered. Suddenly somber as she extended a hand to you, pulling you up easily. "Not good to reveal your hand to the enemy, L/n." She uttered.

You raise an eyebrow, pressed against her front. "You're the enemy?"

Suguru snorted softly, pressing a kiss against your cheek. "Always have been. Now, let me get dressed." She shooed you off her robes.

You watch her with dying words on your lips. Instead, you just chose to cherish the moment for as long as you can.

"I heard you've had an interesting few weeks."

It was barely a day after you got home and submitted your report that you were confronted in your office in Kyoto.

She appeared in a flash, as she always had. A blur of white and black, an overwhelming stench of some cologne that she was either gifted or pulled off a shelf. Expensive. As always.

You jump. Eyes wide as you're met with her for the first time in three years. It almost makes you dizzy. Almost makes you mournful for what once was.

It's been years since you last saw Gojo Satoru. She was different, but you could pick apart exactly was the same. Taller, an array of piercings on both ears, hair stuck up in a mess of white tendrils defying gravity as the bandages wrapped around her eyes. Yet she still had that arrogant posture. That hip pop that always accompanied her. Arrogant.

But there were pieces of things familiar. A part of her was still that 17-year-old, standing in the doorway of your dorm, begging for answers about her best friend's defection. You could tell she was still in there. Part of her reaching out, childishly crying, pleading for something long gone by. You always knew she lingered.

You drag your eyes from her towards the pile of documents waiting for your attention on the desk. Something that you were just about to get to until the woman rudely interrupted.

"It's rude to burst into someone's office without calling first." You respond flatly.

Gojo didn't crack a smile, only kept her stance in the middle of the room, "I assume you didn't kill her. Obviously, she would've fought back. You'd be dead." She rambled to herself.

You huff, rubbing your forehead as you fall back into your chair, "Thanks."

"I thought you would've called me if you were ever assigned something like that. But I suppose you've never been the smartest."

"Like I have your number saved anymore?"

"Again, not the smartest."

You clench your jaw, her arrogant tone grating against the wrong gears within you. Gojo had always been too blunt, too blasé for your taste. Even as teens she had watched you from an upturned nose, scornful eyes scrutinizing your every move. It took you a long time before you ever went around her, let along considered her a friend. Her attitude and general disregard for most people was offputting.

You suppose that's something that happens when everyone treats you like a God.

Gojo falls into the chair across from you, long lanky leg crossed over the other, elbow rested on the back. If it weren't for the painfully straight line of her lips, you would've assumed she was at ease. But you knew better.

"I don't understand why they picked you of all people for executing her." The snark in her voice wasn't welcomed.

You draw in a deep breath, you just needed a bit of patience, "I'm sure you would've jumped at the opportunity if you were here."

"Mm, not really." Gojo tilts her head back and you can tell she's scrutinizing you from over her nose. "But, by the sound of things, you were the one jumping at the chance."

You tense and your fingers drum away on your desk top. An assortment of thoughts flush through your mind. Primarily, the things that you and Suguru had done before parting ways.

Hey! Suguru had called as you walked down the stairs, fingers found home around your arm and, effectively, made you stop to turn back. If you're ever in a bind and need me— or you realize what I did— there will always be a home for you with me. With my family.

You had faltered, eyes wide, before clearing your throat and offering a nod. I'll be sure to remember that. You had turned away and took a few more steps before looking back up at her with a small smile. You're not my enemy, Suguru. That's something I always knew.

You didn't linger on the shock that had overtook her face. Instead, leaving while you still could.

"You said in your report that you didn't see her nor did you sense any signs that she had ever been there." Gojo continues on, oblivious to the inner battle you're facing.

You lean back in your chair, sighing in vague annoyance. "Yes, I did."

"You're a liar."

The lack of hesitation and bluntness of the statement catches you off guard. Your eyes widen and you stiffen, staring at her blank disposition with confusion. Gojo was so unlike herself in this moment. So serious. So final.

It brought you great unease.

Gojo leans forward in her seat, grabbing a mini calendar from your desk to fiddle with it. "Want to know how I know?" You can't see her eyes but you can tell she looks to you for a genuine answer. You only stare back silently in return. "Her residuals are everywhere in that place. They're all twisted with your residuals. Like you were mingling."

You frown, that could easily be explained away, "Well—"

"You're covered in her." And this time, you knew that she was staring right at you.

You stare back blankly this time. Unable to find something smart or notable that could possibly explain what her Six Eyes are seeing. It was pointless. A futile thing that would only make her more frustrated than she seemingly already was.

So, you offered her the only thing you were sure of, your silence.

Gojo clenches her jaw, hunching over in her seat. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"How long have you been seeing her? Was this just a perfect chance for you both to explain away any residuals?" She sounded heated, tense and unnatural.

You always wished she would be her annoying regular self.

"Gojo, I don't know who you think you are, but it's been three years—"

"You're the one who cut us all off!" Gojo stood, pointing a long and accusatory finger at you. You only recall the few times she's ever been truly angry. A ball of rage that's been contained for much too long. Snapping into two pieces that overflowed with a rage of someone much younger. "You're the one who-who pulled away and then got angry because I was around! Then you up and vanished without a word to anyone. Fucked off to Kyoto, like what the hell even is this shit?"

You watch as she gestures wildly around the office with disgust and a loud scoff. A bitter part of you was almost happy to see the anger rolling off of her in waves. Another part of you couldn't imagine Gojo Satoru being this upset over you of all people. This had to be something else. She was mad—

Geto Suguru.

"I called Nanami—"

Gojo whirled around on you, "Not me! You didn't call me! You just left without a word and then I had to hear from Nanami about it like it was nothing."

"I didn't think you'd even want to talk to me with how things were left, Gojo! Can you blame me for just wanting to get away from that place?"

"Yes, I can! I most definitely can!"

You scoff, shaking your head as a familiar anger washed over you. "God, you're such a child."

"And, what, you've been running around behind the higher-ups backs, seeing Suguru all these years? Is that why you ran off? Because you thought I'd see her all over you and tell on you like some kid? Is that it? Is that why you left?"

Her incessant questions were driving you crazy. Alongside the misplaced anger, you were bound to throw something back at her. It was deserved. It was warranted.

"Satoru, you are so insufferable! I rushed off because I hated that school. I hated that I had to walk around and see Suguru but not actually see her! Not to mention you were the world's biggest bitch for a year after that! You acted like I was the goddamn bane of your existence and you wouldn't leave me alone!" You stood and matched her level. There was surely someone that could hear you two duking it out now. Laying things out for one another and, hopefully, leave each other for more years to come. "And, no, I hadn't seen Suguru for eight years before she showed up at that goddamn apartment complex! I was living a peaceful and non-annoying life until three days ago!"

There was a pause between you both.

You taking deep breaths as Gojo stands in the middle of your office awkwardly, stiffly. She almost looked like one of the students after you tried to deal out a punishment for whatever foolish thing they've done. The thought alone made you take a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose.

You're not entirely sure what to say to her now. Without the awkward air only growing—

"You were my friend. And you left."

You were all too aware how young Gojo suddenly sounded. Tender and all too sad to be a 24 year old woman standing before you.

A friend?

"You had Shoko." You easily countered.

"I wanted you."

The revelation made you shut up. Standing awkwardly behind your desk and staring at her with a scrunched face. Wanted you? She wanted you? There's no way that she truly meant it. It was just nostalgia making her speak. Making her lose sight of what actually happened in those years.

"I-I wanted you like a friend, by the way. None of that— um, not like gay or anything!" She suddenly stuttered and sounded terribly like herself compared to herself. "I just... you were... my friend. And... I didn't— I don't have many of those."

Her words were stilted and awkward again. Something that made you tilt your head at her. She didn't look away from you as you processed the words. You were her friend. One of her only friends. Then you left. Right after she lost her one and only best friend.

Suguru's defection made you cruel and selfish.

You press your lips together, "Well, I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything."

"Right," Gojo nods, crossing her arms over her chest. "A little late."

Your chest tightened. "I suppose so."

She stands there for a beat longer before a grin broke across her lips. "Well, you could make it up to me." Her tone was much too light and eager to be genuine or true. But you weren't about to ruin it by asking.

You hesitate in asking, "What?"

"Come get crepes with me!" She said, not allowing you to answer as she grabbed your hand. "Shoko ditched me for Utahime."

"Oh, so I'm backup?"

"No— Well, a bit. But this will be a great bonding moment." She turned her head towards you, dimples prominent. "You in?"

You stared for a long moment. Wondering what could possibly run through Gojo Satoru's mind. How she could so quickly change her emotions. To be so vehemently angry one moment and happy the next. But that had always been her. A ball of rage that could fight back at any moment and then resolve it with her smile and pretty eyes—

"C'mon, just one crepe, some talking, then you can ditch me again." She said it teasingly, but you could tell there was a hint of sadness. Desperation.

You snort softly. "Okay, Satoru."

Her cheeks dusted pink and she pulled you out the room. "Missed you calling me that!"

"Satoru? It's your name."

"Yeah, but Gojo makes it sound like you hate me."

"Well..."

"Hey!"

You and Satoru do not mention Geto Suguru that entire night. Or the night after that. Or the night after that.

It was probably for the best.

#self rb #if you liked haunted you might like this

179 notes · View notes