strawberrybloomers

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im gonna throw up from laughing thinking about this tweet

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this is a strong contender for the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen

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i’m gonna boycott the super bowl this year. not for any racist reason. i’m just really fucking tired of tom “i don’t eat strawberries” brady and bill “definitely practices dark magic” belichick being there every fucking year.

patriots fans don’t interact

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Everything is going to be okay.

You know what, I didn’t think that post would get any traction or notes. My posts usually don’t. But thank you. I really did need this. You’re a good person anon, and I hope good things come your way. You deserve them.

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is it bad that i almost paid a starbucks barista 20$ to tell me “everything is going to be okay; you’re going to be okay”

it made me wonder why there isn’t a phone service between sex hotline and suicide hotline. for people who want affection, but aren’t suicidal.

until those assholes at nasa get gud enough to make one i’ll just sit in my car and have a cry

#depression #suicide #musings #whatever #i think i made myself sad #more sad i guess #i just want to know everything will be okay #i just want to be happy

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Have been reading Howl’s moving castle recently. Really enjoyed it❤

(Howl’s such a jerk, still love him tho)

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the chronological rating list of fuckboys mary shelley had to suffer in her life

-her dad who wouldn’t speak to her after she got married but still demanded her husbands fucking money like an asshole: 7/10

-apparently aaron burr chilled at her home when she was a kid, after he was in exile bc he killed hamilton and he took the lessons of her feminist icon mom to heart so much that he later married an 82 year old eliza jumel, stole all her money and then bounced, truly all of these fuck boys, burr is the fuck father. 10/10

-percy bitch shelley: a softer fuckboy i hear you saying but also complained that she didn’t want to fuck his friends because she was depressed that two of their children had just died and also bought a sail boat and then drowned like a bitch. 9/10

-i could have literally just said: byron and ended this list because truly if there were a man who makes me never want to suffer fools it is him. also she was stuck on vacation with her stepsister who he had gotten pregnant and then left and her sister wouldn’t stop talking about how bomb his dick was, so he managed to fuckboy about geneva even when he wasn’t in the room, truly astonishing. (also he fucked his married sister…….) ∞/10

keats: a true showing of poetry goth/poetry nerd solidarity and both drank that respecting women juice but he he also died after like…getting rained on or something idek. 2/10

#im in love w/this #u need to do one of these again #byron was such a shit #so was percy #look up mary wolstencraft #she was mary shelly’s mom #she had to put up with SO MUCH SHIT

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#SHOTS FIRED #thats my bulma #number 1 fave

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that’s not something that props can fix

someone just reblogged this from me and let’s all appreciate it again

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you, smart: washes your fabric, carefully draws on the patterns, triple checks everything before even touching the scissors me, currently in an intimate relationship with hubris: snip snip ✂️✂️

#mood #this is too relatable #and i used to do this shit professionally

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Grandma… It’s me, Anastasia!

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fred and george somehow enchanting the hogwarts stairs so that every time someone slipped, ‘mmm watcha say’ could be heard echoing through the halls

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111 guys who have ruined my life (in alphabetical order) - Colin Firth (35/111)

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The Importance Of Being Earnest (2001)

Lady Come Down

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Everything about this is ridiculous and pathetic.

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Money spell! Reblog to charge it with your intent; the more people see it, the more powerful it becomes. Magic should be fun!

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I love when small children identify all quadripedal animals as “doggy!”

It always reminds me of the time Plato offered the definition of a human as any “featherless biped” and Diogenes busted into the Academy with a plucked chicken screaming, “BEHOLD A MAN!”