soulofangst

[soulofangst]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[soulofangst]

A PSA

It has come to my attention that @/the-starry-inkwell and, by extension, their new group of friends, is spreading lies about @ashofthecosmos, @soulofangst, and myself again, this time via their tumblr bio or otherwise, I'm not sure- and are sending hate asks that simply assume they are correct. Either way, I have come on all three of our behaves to tell the whole, actual story, since otherwise, on surface level, you would have to take their word for it.

(A NOTE: PLEASE LISTEN TO ANY AND ALL ACTUAL GROOMING AND OR INNAPROPRATE MINOR EXPLOITATION ACCUSATIONS. MOST ARE NOT LIKE THIS CASE, AND ARE EXTREMELY SERIOUS.)

I met Inkwell around 2018 via a roleplaying server centered around an at the time pseudo-famous deviantart artist GraWolfQuinn, and in this, they immediately decided to roleplay a character with extreme suggestive nature towards mine. I was 15 at the time, meaning from the age gap, they were around 13-12. I had no clue of this, and continued right along as if they were my age, due to the server's rules. All innocent, all in good fun, except for their characters who had a backstory deep-rooted in rape and torture. (They would later INSIST this was the influence of another friend.)

Over two years, we bonded and became the best of friends, laughing and supporting each other- or rather, I supported them, as they'd often threated suicide and self harm several times and I would have to repeatedly talk them out of it. They were in an abusive situation, which is why I kept accepting this behavior as normal, and not toxic. They'd ignore my ideas, ignore me, and treat me overall like trash, under the guise of being my friend. I introduced them to my friends, Super-parad1se and OoodlesOfDoodles, and Parker, who was my partner at the time- exactly my age, at 17 years old. I also helped them realize they were trans, and a DID system, though they are not diagnosed. (I will not begin to fakeclaim, please do NOT go fakeclaiming them, they are still presumably in that abusive situation and need help and therapy that I could not begin to provide to them.)

Then, in 2020, inkwell introduced me to AshOfTheCosmos. We were shy at first- he was 17, yet to turn 18 due to a late birthday, and yet we were fast friends. Not too long after that, however, I made the worst mistake of my goddamn life.

Inkwell asked to date me. I did not bother asking how old they were- I simply assumed. Their writing style, to my immature brain, seemed to think their writing style and handling situations to be around my age, instead of three years below me. (I was in an abusive situation as well, and thus completely missed the social cues that might have strayed me from this mistake.)

And so, I agreed. I had genuinely adored their company, and as much as Parker warned me of dating someone I didn't truly know, I figured it would be fine. Ash also fell for this trickery, being in a similarly abusive situation, and asked them, completely unaware. We both identified as Asexual, yet they forced sexual situations on us, despite similarly identifying as Ace. They changed this label, as did Ash and I, though I was because of being attracted to Ash, and Ash simply had hormonal blockage due to a medical condition.

Regardless, skipping a few dropped friends, all three of us were happy, for a while- especially when Soul came into the picture. I met Soul via a Henry Stickmin blog, and I helped them be okay with stimming again. They didn't quite fall for the trick Inkwell was pulling- but they had revealed themself to be a very pushy and impractical person, and unfortunately, they convinced them Soul, Ash, and myself that it was okay. I tried to cut it off when I turned 18, truly unsure about the relationship, but they told me it was okay for me to stay. From there, they kept answering differently when asked their age- 20's, 30's, 40's, you name it, all under the name of their DID.

Then, in 2022, we found out their true body age. They were 15 at the time, and are most likely 16 now. I asked out of curiosity, because the way they were handling situations were... a tad childish, and had the air of not being mature enough to understand ones faults. When they confessed to being 15, all three of us immediately ended the relationship, disgusted with them for convincing us it was okay, and disgusted with ourselves for ever thinking of a minor that way, even accidentally. We then ended our friendships with them, as they really didn't like the breakup and even cussed us out and told us we were being horrible to "a suicidal child".

We, understandably, slowly ended contact with them, one by one, me being the last. I stayed because I foolishly thought there was maybe SOME redeeming qualities to them, and I tried to save them, and didn't want to leave them without a friend, without someone to turn to, even if I hated what they did to me, to us all. I just wanted them to have a stable support group. This led to frequent bouts of depressive spirals and anxiety attacks, until Ash implored me to see what I was putting myself through.

So, I finally cut them off, in which they accused us all of grooming, like they didn't lie to us, and left. After the worst panic attack of my life from cutting off someone I'd known for four years (not to mention them immediately going around and spreading lies), I apologized for any and all hurt we may have caused, an apology from all of us, and blocked them anywhere and everywhere I could. I'd hoped I'd never have to hear from them or about them ever again.

It's funny, really, that this happened now of all times, because I was just beginning to forgive them for all the things they did, all the times they hurt me, hurt us, baited self harm and suicide (as in saying a knife now had blood on it as we panicked and tried to talk them out of cutting, to which they then laughed and said it was pizza sauce), accusing us, hurting us, manipulating us, forcing sexual situations on us. I was beginning to think they could move on just as well as I, that they'd find a support group, that they'd grow and change and get the help they needed.

I suppose the joke is on me, for ever trusting them again. I hope they someday find peace and love, but I will never again trust them, and I will always ask for an age before every single in-depth interaction, and reject any conversation with anyone below 18.

... Truly, I should've been doing that anyways, but I suppose life teaches you its lessons the hard way, when you're not already taught.

Thank you for reading, I appreciate your affinity for learning the truth, instead of blindly following what someone says. I hope everyone's day goes well, that everyone on the east coast stays safe from Hurricane Ian, and that everyone has a wonderful day.

[POST LAST EDITED 9/30/2022]

#reblog #important #grooming allegations tw #to be clear i am not in a good place mentally right now #so i will not be talking about this further. #ashofthecosmos #stardusted-menace

[soulofangst]

YOU HAVE ENTERED

RADICAL SATURDAY

#reblog

[soulofangst]

they were partners

#oh my god they were partners. #pokemon explorers of sky #pmd eos #pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky #pokemon mystery dungeon #the great dusknoir #celebi #grovyle the thief #torchic #grovyle #dusknoir

[soulofangst]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

#reblog #meme

[soulofangst]

The Great Dusknoir!

Aren’t we so lucky to be his friends?

#pokemon explorers of sky #pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky #pokemon mystery dungeon #the great dusknoir #dusknoir #vulpix #treecko #pmd eos #pmd #Scout the Treecko #Scout #Soul #self-insert #Pokemon Fanart

[soulofangst]

EoS Expression Practice and sketches!

Including but not limited to: Knife Grovyle, Difference in Playing Styles, A Happy Little Boy(tm), and more!

#pokemon explorers of sky #pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky #pokemon mystery dungeon #the great dusknoir #grovyle the thief #guildmaster wigglytuff #vulpix #chatot #bidoof #grovyle #dusknoir #celebi #treecko #time gear #expression practice #sketches #art #my art #pokemon fanart #fanart

[soulofangst]

I’m know I’m not the first person to say this, but any newbies on tumblr really need to understand how different this is from a lot of other social media. Particularly tiktok.

I just saw a creator on tiktok reminding followers that it’s actually a problem when someone goes back to the earliest post and watches all the posts chronologically, liking and commenting along the way. The stupid app recognizes it as spam or something and then kinda puts a halt on their account? Literally punishing people for positive engagement?? 🥴🤦‍♀️

I’ve already heard people saying years back how they don’t want to be “creepy” and go through a persons blog, liking and reblogging tons of stuff. But think how many more people are going to be worried about it now, thinking they might do actual damage! Most people, especially younger people, are so used to the way tiktok works now. So please, do not ever worry about this on here. Just remember-

You will never do any harm if you go on a like and reblog fest through someone’s tumblr blog! The only risk you’re taking is to make the blog owner weep for joy!! 😭🤣

#reblog #PLEASE go on a reblog fest through my art I would cry

[soulofangst]

do you see this shit my liege

#reblog #meme

[soulofangst]

So there's a scam/bot spam going around. Almost fooled me, but I got the same exact message on two seperate accounts.

I haven't put in the link into anything just in case. So yeah, be aware lads.

#reblog #important

[soulofangst]

DUDE

#holy shit #i did NOT see this coming #the try guys #try guys #reblog

[soulofangst]

@stardusted-menace @ashofthecosmos

Almost every gay person I’ve met likes pokemon

#I HAVE THREE!!! #Eevee #Hisuian Zorua #and #Vulpix #I think you all can see the type of Pokemon I like #I also really love Ghost-Types #I also really like Duskull #Since I replayed Shield recently and my Duskull Boo was OVERPOWERED #Boo my Beloved

[soulofangst]

I saw a post with your ask saying there was a comic someone did to basically rewrite "Spottedleaf's Heart", who's the creator?

(Anon is most likely talking about This Ask here.)

NiteTheKitten on Deviantart! To be clear, as I don't think I was clear on it, it isn't a Spottedleaf's Heart remake- it's their own warriors story they wrote when they were young. According to them, they originally had it in there for drama as a kid, got older, realized that it was gross and planned to remove it, but ended up keeping it after Spottedleaf's Heart came out as they wanted to handle it better than the Erins did- including links for anyone suffering from CSA and not posting pages with direct CSA on DA(but including a description so you don't miss what's happening.) I think they're doing a very good job handling a very sensitive topic but this story obviously isn't for everyone. (Also I am not a victim of CSA so please take my opinion with a pinch of salt.)

I also want to note that it's not all the story is about- but it is an important part of the story.

I recommend it but please, read with caution. This could be too much to handle for you and if it is that is perfectly valid.

With that said, here's the cover and here's the warning page

(@everybody-loves-purdy I recall you wanted a link to it that I never actually gave you, so here you go)

EDIT: I COMPLETELY FORGOT! Nite has a warriors design tumblr! So go check them out! @\ religiousbattlecats

#pedophilia tw #sexual abuse tw #warriors fan comic #ask #ask to tag #my ask #spottedleaf's heart ment

[soulofangst]

(via FlimsyFlamingo on Twitter)

#reblog #writing tropes

[soulofangst]

happy bi day

#reblog #bisexual

[soulofangst]

I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:

isn’t he beautiful

listen to the SOUND when he bites

and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them

#i love crocodiles #reblog

[soulofangst]

That post about death note being “everyone’s first anime” (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

#i got into hetalia but never watched it #excluding pokemon the first anime i watched was full metal alchemist #but the first anime i really got into was my hero academia