shesagothgirl

[shesagothgirl]

Worthy of Love - mgk

description; y/n and Colson attend a house party. Things get out of hand when y/n’s past confronts them.

warning: swearing, mentions of abuse, mentions of smut

Colson stood in the overcrowded kitchen, a solo cup in one hand, a blunt in the other, his icy blue eyes scanning the makeshift dance floor where a sea of bodies moved together to a trap song that he didn’t recognize. On a typical Saturday night he might be out there with them, jumping obnoxiously, majorly intoxicated - but tonight wasn’t a typical Saturday night. With the stress of the upcoming album, Colson didn’t feel like partying, from the moment he stepped through the threshold he regretted ever saying yes to his friends’ relentless begging. Taking a hit from his blunt, Colson felt the smoke fill his lungs, an attempt to take the edge off, his gaze settling on the middle of the dance floor where his girlfriend of two years stood in her all black outfit that hugged all the right places, engulfed in the arms of Sophie Llyod, the newest member of his band, the two women moving playfully to the beat of the music beating through the speakers. He watched as Y/N laughed, her infectious smile making one pull at his own lips, her long hair flowing gracefully down her back, her hips moving seductively to the music. If he had it his way, she would be pinned beneath him, their bodies wrapped together between their black satin sheets, but instead he was here, watching her from afar and deprived of her touch.

“I didn’t think you were gonna come.” a voice speaks, pulling Colson’s eyes from the dance floor to Brandon Allen, his best friend that had spent over an hour trying and failing, or so he thought, to get him to attend his celebratory album release houseparty. Colson chuckles, shaking his head as his eyes fall back on Y/N, who is moving her body against Sophie’s, securing the attention of the crowd around them.

“I didn’t plan on it.” Colson replies, tipping his head in the direction of the girl that forced him out of the house. “This was all her.” Brandon follows his gaze to the dance floor and smiles when he sees her. She had been a blessing in disguise when she stumbled, quite literally, into their lives all those years ago. Brandon could remember clearly the way Colson clung to her when she lost her footing exiting the VIP section of the urban night club, the two of them hitting it off almost instantly. It wasn’t long before Y/N was joining studio sessions and late night team meetings, becoming a best friend, as if she had been there all along, until, for her and Colson, being best friends wasn’t enough.

“She looks good.” Brandon says, a sense of pride filling his chest. He could tell, even from as far away as he was, that for the first time in a long time, she was genuinely happy. She radiated a glow that he missed seeing, and he knew Colson was the source. He and Y/N were made for each other, two individuals that were put on this earth to bring out the best in the other.

“She feels good.” Colson agrees, smiling as he watches Y/N sway to the beat of the music. She had come so far, learning how to love herself again, learning how to trust, he was proud of her. Colson had never loved anything the way that he loved her. He could think better when she was around, breathe better, life was easy with her. She unknowingly had him wrapped around her finger, and he wanted desperately to keep it that way. His eyes hungrily followed the curves of her body, teasing him with each swing of her hips and it was taking every inch of will power he had not to move from his spot and drag her back home.

Y/N could feel the sweat dripping down her back beneath her cropped black tank top, her body vibrating from the two shots of tequila she and Sophie had consumed four songs ago. She knew the moment that Brandon began blowing up Colson’s phone that they would be attending his party. She wanted him to let loose and enjoy the accomplishment of another successful album with the people he cared about most. He and his team had worked long nights and early mornings for months with the intent of the number one spot and despite Colson’s insistent perfectionist side, she knew there was no way ‘Mainstream Sellout’ was anything less than number one. He begged her to stay home, tempted her with the press of his soft lips against every inch of her body, teased her with his pink nail painted fingers weaved into her hair, but he knew he was no match for her, and in the end he was watching her eagerly pick out matching outfits for them and asking him if she should go “full glam” for her makeup look. “I need a drink!” Sophie yelled, pulling Y/N from her thoughts, the blonde girls statement making her realize her own thirst

Nodding her head eagerly Y/N intertwined her fingers with Sophie’s, allowing the guitarist to pull her through the sea of sweaty bodies and in the direction of the kitchen, oblivious to the tall, lurking man behind her until her name was leaving his lips. Slowing her steps, Y/N glances over her shoulder, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes connected with the pair of eerily familiar brown eyes she knew all too well. “Corey.” Sophie, sensing Y/N’s sudden hesitation, turns to face the pair staring at each other, being so new to the group, she didn’t recognize Corey or that he was Y/N’s ex-boyfriend.

“I was hoping you’d be here tonight.” Corey started casually, taking a step closer to Y/N, instinctively making her take a step away, her back colliding with Sophie’s chest. “Look, I just want to talk.” Corey continues, his anger beginning to grow at the way she cowers from him. Corey hadn’t seen Y/N in years, the last time being the morning he left for work, returning home later that day to an empty house cleared of all her belongings.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Y/N states softly, feeling the confidence she had spent the last four years building slipping from her grasp. Sophie slides her arm around Y/N’s waist, clearly seeing that whatever the situation was between the two of them, it wasn’t a safe one.

“Come on girl, I’m parched!” Sophie exclaims, pulling on Y/N’s waist, the young girl’s body easily moving with Sophie’s desperate to get away from Corey and all the memories he brought back. Corey feels the tension fill his body and he knows that if she gets away he won’t get another chance to be alone with her, so he latches his fingers around her wrist, tugging roughly to halt her movement, Y/N stumbling over her own feet. “What the fuck?” Sophie spits out, stepping around Y/N to shove at Corey’s chest, her hand just barely connecting with his chest before two hands are swiftly moving her to the side and replacing her is an agitated Colson.

He had been watching the entire interaction from the kitchen - controlling the way his blood boiled at the sight of Corey, ignoring the way he wanted to wrap his hands around his neck when he took a step near Y/N. Although Colson could see what Corey’s presence was doing to her, he was impressed with how Y/N had stood her ground, and for a moment he didn’t think he was going to have to intervene, until he put his hands on her. When they first met, it had taken Y/N month’s to trust Colson with the truth about the toxic relationship between her and Corey. He was sick to his stomach each time he thought about the way he hurt her and all the bruises she spent their whole relationship covering up. Corey had broken her down into a shell of herself, and it wasn’t until her run in with Colson that she discovered she was more than someone’s punching bag. “Corey,” Colson starts, his left hand finding Y/N’s right, intertwining their fingers together as he feels her left hand latch onto his forearm, hidden behind Colson’s 6’4 figure. “What are you doing here?” Every fiber in his body wanted nothing more than to connect his fist to Corey’s face, but in an attempt to keep his cool, he chose his words carefully.

“Kells, it’s good to see you, dude!” Corey greets, a fake smile plastered to his face. Ever since Colson had come into Y/N’s life he was a nuisance to Corey. He was the reason Y/N grew the confidence to leave him, to ruin their relationship and embarrass him. But Corey was no idiot, and knowing Machine Gun Kelly could get him a long way in life. Corey reaches for a handshake that Colson doesn’t return. By now a small circle has been made around the group, the dance floor unusually still as everyone watches the tense encounter. “I just wanted to talk to Y/N, clear some things up between the two of us.” Corey explains, Y/N’s grip tightening on Colson’s. She hated the way Corey made her feel; so insecure and small, so insignificant- feelings that Colson spent day after day mending until she saw herself how he saw her.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you.” Colson retorts, his gaze never leaving Corey’s. Y/N lets out a breath, her stomach tightening, she couldn’t help but think about what would have happened if Colson wasn’t there, but he was, he always was.

“Come on, man, you can’t seriously believe all the shit she’s saying about me.” Corey practically shouts, a desperate attempt to defend himself making the anger in Colson grow. Corey didn’t realize how much self control was holding Colson back. “She broke up with me to be with you. Her being a slut doesn’t make me an abuser.” The words are out of Corey’s mouth and into the air before he can stop it, and within seconds, Colson’s releasing his grip on Y/N, his right fist connecting with Corey’s mouth: once, twice, three times.

Y/N lunges forward, grabbing onto Colson’s arm, realizing the situation and the hundred people surrounding them watching it unfold. She could practically see the next TMZ article commenting on MGK’s bad attitude and unfortunate personality, she would be damned if his image was tainted because of her asshole of an ex. “Colson, stop.” From her peripheral vision she could see Brandon pushing through the crowd trying to get to Colson before things went too far. Colson was bent over Corey’s body that lay flat on the ground, his fist wrapped around the collar of his t-shirt, his other hand pulled back, aimed for Corey’s nose when Y/N tried again. “Please,” She shouted, tugging desperately at his arm, panicked at the thought of his life being ruined because of her. The word, acting as a trigger, immediately pulled Colson’s attention to Y/N, dropping his hands roughly from the beaten body beneath him.

“If I ever catch you near her again, you’re dead.” Colson muttered, so quietly that only Corey and few people standing close enough could hear before he straightened to his full height, turning to face Y/N for the first time since the altercation began. Behind him Brandon had gotten to Corey, he and Rook, who was somewhere outside when things begin, lifting him from the ground to remove him from the party. Colson’s eyes found Y/N, who stood in worry for her boyfriend, anxious to be in his arms. She was sure he hadn’t been hit, but everything had happened so fast, she needed to make sure. Colson released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in, and started walking through the crowd, his fingers grazing Y/N’s bare arm as he passed her and headed down the hall towards the bathroom, needing to settle himself. Y/N was hot on his heels, slipping into the brightly lit bathroom behind him, closing and locking the door.

Colson sat on the closed seat of the toilet, his head in his hands as he took a few deep breaths. He could usually control himself better than that, especially around Y/N. He worked continuously to keep violence away from her, to avoid anything triggering, but hearing him call her a liar, insinuating that their relationship started unloyally when it was anything but, it made his blood boil. He could remember the day clearly that Y/N had called him crying, the black eye she had when she answered her front door was enough from him to demand she leave with him right then. They packed her stuff and the guest room at Colson’s became hers, he spent the night rocking her to sleep, reassuring her that she was safe and that he would never let anyone hurt her again. “I’m sorry.” Y/N whispers, standing by the doorway as she watches Colson cautiously.

“Don’t.” Colson says quietly, shaking his head as he looks up and into her worried eyes. “Don’t apologize for him.” Colson continues, reaching his hand out to grab hers pulling her closer until she’s crouched in front of him, her hands resting on his knees. “I shouldn’t have lost my cool like that.”

“Are you kidding?” Y/N laughs, her hand reaching up to push Colson’s messy pink hair out of his brilliant blue eyes. “The prick deserved it.” Y/N smiles, running her fingers across his cheek bones. She had spent so many years trapped with Corey that she never would have imagined herself here, placed before a man that loved her more than life, that would do anything for her, give anything for her, she never knew she was worthy of love, until Colson.

“He did, huh?” Colson laughs, placing his hands on both of Y/N’s cheeks, his eyes boring into hers.

“Thank you.” Y/N says softly.

“For what?”

“For protecting me, for loving me.” She speaks, her words sending a chill up his spine. “How did I get so lucky?”

Colson smiles, running a hand through Y/N’s long hair, his forehead pressed to hers. “Nah baby, I’m the lucky one.” Colson presses his lips to hers, reveling in the way her lips feel against his. He knew she was his soulmate, the only person in the world he could imagine his life with, he was irrevocably hers.

“See if we would have just stayed home like I wanted to, none of this would have happened.” Y/N teases, knowing that the events of tonight never would have occurred if she would have just listened to Colson.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny, can we go home now?” Y/N laughs as she places another kiss on his lips before standing and pulling him up with her. She would spend the rest of the night, and probably the next morning, making it up to him the way he wanted from the start, wrapped around each other.

#imagine #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #mgk #mgk fluff #mgk x y/n #one shot #colson baker #colson #mainstream sellout

[shesagothgirl]

you don’t need me - MGK

He knew something was bothering her. She had been distant, preoccupied with her thoughts, speaking only when spoken to. At first he thought it was the pressure of the album - he had been so consumed with getting ‘Mainstream Sellout’ to number one that he had been neglecting her, spending all his time in the studio or doing press, coming home only to take out his stress on her and go to sleep. She had handled it well, never faulting him for raising his voice or stumbling in intoxicated at all hours of the night. Every morning she got up and made him breakfast, despite whatever confrontation they had the night before. They would eat together at the dining room table, him speaking only of the album, her speaking only words of support, and with a kiss on her head he would be out the front door and she would be left to clean up the mess. It had become a routine, one that he knew he had burdened her with unfairly, but he couldn’t stop himself from needing that number one spot, and so he let months pass, with no real interaction with her, knowing that when it was all over, she would still be there, she always was. But this time it was different. He wasn’t sure when the change happened, but he could see it now, in the smile that never quite reached her eyes, in the tension that he felt each time he touched her, in the way she remained folded into herself as though she was less than.

“Number one album in the country.” He spoke softly, breaking the silence from his seat next to her in the long black limousine. His eyes hadn’t left her from the moment they settled in, his blue gaze boring into the side of her face, studying her every detail. She had barely spoken a word at the celebration dinner, her eyes cast down at her plate, moving the food around in an attempt to make people think she was actually eating. He had been aware of her all night, unable to decide on what was making her so uneasy. “I never thought we would actually get there.” He continued when she didn’t respond, watching as she stares out the open window beside her, taking a pull on the lit blunt between her perfectly manicured fingers.

Y/N knows he’s seeking her approval, and as exhausted as she is of talking about the album, she turns to him with a tired smile pulled at her lip gloss covered lips. “You deserve it.” She spoke sweetly, pulling her eyes from his the moment the words left her mouth, her gaze circling back to the city passing by her. Colson sat up straighter on the black leather seat beneath him, watching as her long straightened hair fell down her shoulder, creating a barrier between them. It was his favorite way that she styled her hair, simple, confident, as was the silk brown mid thigh dress she had clinging to her body, a dress he probably would have made a joke about ripping off her if she wasn’t so disturbed by him.

“Hey,” Colson whispers, his chest beginning to tighten at the anxiety her attitude was creating in him. Reaching forward he brushes her hair back with his long fingers, his hand caressing her shoulder before reaching the back of her neck, applying a small amount of pressure encouraging her to turn her head towards him. Releasing the smoke from another pull on the blunt Y/N turns, her eyes falling on Colson’s, his gaze a mixture of concern and fear. “What’s going on?” He questions softly, his calloused hand moving to the side of her makeup covered face, his thumb rubbing softly across her cheek bone. Y/N inhaled deeply, fighting the urge to lean into his touch. She was in love with Colson, so much that sometimes she had a hard time finding where she stopped and he began. He was everything to her, they had been through what felt like a lifetime together, she would do anything for him, be anything for him, and that was what scared her.

“I’m fine.” Y/N replied, forcing a smile onto her lips. The past few months with Colson had been the hardest of their three year relationship. She had been through album releases before, she knew the amount of stress and pressure he put on himself, she knew he always took it out on her, and she was okay with it, she remained strong, for him, for the light at the end of the tunnel, but this time was different. She felt unheard, unneeded, and unlike every other time, Colson couldn’t kiss it and make it better.

“That’s not what I asked.” Colson says, leaning forward to run his fingers through her hair, but before he does Y/N turns away, back to the window just as the limo pulls to a stop in front of the hotel they had been staying at for the last two days.

“Let’s not talk about it right now.” Y/N states, giving Colson no time to respond before she’s swinging the limo door open, dropping the blunt to the ground, and exiting into the cool night air. Y/N had so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to tell him, but she was aware of the amount of alcohol he had consumed at dinner, she knew that it was nearing close to one in the morning, no good would come from a conversation tonight, so she would save it for the morning.

Colson stayed in his seat only for a moment before he eagerly exited behind her, using quick strides to reach where she had already entered the lobby and was waiting for the elevator to arrive. It killed him to see her like this, so distant, so hurt, he knew he was the cause of it, he just didn’t know how, and he was desperate to put a smile on her face again. The ride in the elevator to the fifth floor was silent, it wasn’t until they were in the large suite, the door locked, Y/N in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of water, that he spoke again. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

Y/N turns to Colson standing in the spacious kitchen in his bright pink suit, his choice of no undershirt giving her the view of his smooth tattooed chest, her favorite part about him. He looked perfect, so handsome, and it would be so easy for her to just fall into his arms and let him make her forget everything. But she couldn’t, so instead she took a sip of her water and avoided his brilliant blue eyes. “Colson, not tonight.”

“Don’t do that.” He says to her, his voice wavering just slightly as he takes a step closer to her. “Don’t act like this, whatever this is, isn’t bothering you, because it’s killing me.” Colson closes the distance between them, placing both his hands on her cheek to tilt her head back, making her look at him. Y/N’s eyes threaten to fill with tears as she breathes to steady herself, his intoxicating cologne clouding her judgment.

“You’ve been drinking.” Y/N says, looking him in the eyes, silently begging him to let this go for the night.

“And you‘ve been smoking.” Colson rebuttals, his gaze steady on the girl who holds his whole heart between her hands.

“That’s not the point.” Y/N sighs, pulling out of his grip and walking around him, desperate to exit the kitchen that now seemed too small. She heads down the hall towards the bedroom, eager to get out of the dress she once felt pretty in.

“Then what is the point, Y/N?” Colson asks, his voice rising as he follows close on her heels. This wasn’t her, she wasn’t like this, she always had a conversation, it’s something that had made their relationship so successful for all this time. It was like he could feel her slipping away, and he would be damned if he let that happen. Standing next to the bed he grips her wrist, pulling her to a stop in front of him. “We don’t do this, we don’t shut each other out.”

Y/N’s eyes begin to fill with tears. Colson is stubborn and an asshole, he can be selfish and unrelenting, but he loves her, and she knows he’s not going to give up until they talk. “You don’t see me.” She whispers, a single tear falling down her cheek making Colson realize the realness of her feelings. Colson steps closer to her, his fingers intertwining with hers as his eyebrows furrow together, his heart cracking at the pain on her face.

“Baby, what are you talking about?” He asks, his words soft and caressing. “I see you, I see you all the time. I see you right now.” A small sob leaves Y/N’s lips as she shakes her head, pulling her hand out of his. She needs to think, she needs to make him understand, and she can’t think when he’s touching her.

“No, Colson, you don’t see me.” She repeats more tears falling as she finally reveals what she’s been holding from him all this time. It’s quiet for a moment as the pair looks at each other, as if the other’s eyes will give some secret away. Colson wants nothing more than to be close to her, to hold her, to tell her he loves her, but he knows she doesn’t want that so he remains where he stands, waiting. “I’m proud of you.” She starts simply. “I’m so fucking proud of you. You deserve every bit of recognition you get from the hard work and dedication you put into this album.” She takes a deep breath, swallowing hard as Colson watches her every move. “You gave your all to this album and that is so so special, but along the way you lost sight of me, of us, and in the end the only thing you cared about was you.” Colson feels like he’s been punched in the gut. How could he not see how this was affecting her? He knew  he had been more intense with this album, he knew he could have been treating her better, but he hadn’t realized how far he had gone.

“That’s not fair.” Colson starts, shaking his head making Y/N sigh in frustration, dropping onto the end of the bed beside her. He wasn’t hearing her. “I was focused on the album, yes, but I never stopped caring about you, I could never stop caring about you.” Y/N drops her head, unable to look at the panic in his eyes as he backtracks, trying to defend himself, his choices.

“If I wasn’t in your life, do you think the album would be as great as it is?” Y/N asks, the question coming from left field. Colson knew what she meant, and she was right. The songs on that album never would have been possible if he wasn’t with her. Some of them were about her, most had her influence, her ideas, all had her support. She was a huge part of the ‘’Mainstream Sellout’ album, almost as much as him.

Colson licks his lips, his eyes watching her and her defeated stance. “No.”

“No?”

“No.” He repeated, making Y/N tilt her head up to look him in the eye.

“Then why do you make me feel like I mean nothing to this relationship?” She asks, tears falling down her cheeks. “Like I mean nothing to your music? Like I mean nothing to you?” Colson feels the lump in his throat grow as the girl he’s in love with sobs in front of him. How could he have done this to her? “You don’t need me. And god does that kill me, because I need you, more than anything.”

Colson’s own eyes begin to fill with tears as he slowly takes a few steps towards the broken girl, kneeling down in front of her with a hesitancy as if she might push him away. “Look at me.” He whispers, his voice raspy as he tilts his head lower, trying to meet Y/N’s eye. Slowly she lifts her head, ashamed to have him see her this way. She was always strong in front of him, always. “You mean the fucking world to me.” He says, determined to not let the best thing that’s ever happened to him get away. “I need you, Y/N. I need you. You are the only thing that makes me happy in this shitty life.” The tears fall harder as he moves closer to her, positioning his body between her legs, his hands on either side of her body holding his weight against the bed. “I never meant to make you feel like this album meant more to me than you. Nothing will ever mean more than you.” He continues, reaching up with his right hand to wipe her tears away, her once perfect mascara running down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

Y/N nods, her eyes softening as Colson stands and pulls her into a hug, her head resting against his stomach as his fingers weave through her hair. The two remain unmoving for awhile, Y/N crying into his suit jacket, Colson replaying how close he was to losing the love of his life.

“I love you.” Colson whispers, making Y/N’s head turn to face him, his large hands pushing the loose strands of hair out of her face. Colson had said he loved her many times before, but this one felt different. He knew he would never allow her to feel this way again, especially if he was the cause of it. She knew that he finally saw her, that he understood her feelings.

“I love you.” Y/N whispered back just before Colson pressed his lips to hers, the butterflies she always felt invading her stomach. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, far from it, but they loved each other, and for them that was always enough.

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #imagine #mgk #mgk x y/n #mgk fluff #mainstream sellout #one shot #colson #colson baker